Miami Vice (1984–1989): Season 2, Episode 11 - Phil the Shill - full transcript
A British television personality who has dealings with a major cocaine dealer is targeted by Crockett and Tubbs.
Joe Pert. Well done, Joe.
Congratulations.
Well, though Elvis
toured the world
several times...
he always said that
his favorite place was
his home in Graceland.
So, Joe, for 10 points
and a tie game...
How many bathrooms
are there in Graceland?
The whole country?
One million...
two hundred and....
I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry.
But I didn't finish.
No, that's because
there were in fact
only eight bathrooms...
in Elvis' mansion in Memphis.
The bonus bell!
Stan Switek and Joe Pert,
are you ready to go on to
the Rat Race bonus question...
worth 100,000
fabulous dollars?
You bet, Phil.
This is rock and reggae
radio vice, calling all the
brothers and sisters...
can you receive me now?
Wish Switek and Zito
hadn't called in sick.
This is not my style.
Let's do it.
Hey, you, get out here!
Come here!
Twelve coats of Enzo's best
tuxedo black lacquer...
and all it takes is one
meathead like you
to screw it up.
I don't see squat.
What, are you blind?
Now it looks better.
Very easy, but very wrong.
You know, I bet you
rubbing compound will take
that right out of there.
No hard feelings, okay?
I know you're not a masochist
or anything but it does
give you character.
You're a real funny guy, Rico.
I just hope to hell
it was worth it.
Eighteen months
just to get a bug
in this dude's car.
By the time we bust him,
we'll be looking
at retirement.
Rivers is a heavy player.
Gotta make a mistake sometime.
Turn that up.
Okay, boys, all you gotta do
is complete the circuit...
first one
back to the buzzers wins.
All right?
Oh, good, Switek.
Now, he's supposed to be...
sick.
I'll kill the worm.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Once again, tonight's category
is the King of Rock 'n' Roll.
Hell, I can see
that doesn't half tickle
Stanley's fancy.
Just for the record, Phil,
in addition to the
eight bathrooms...
Graceland also has
four half-baths.
He's a sharp one, isn't he?
I can see we can
kiss that money goodbye.
I used the one
nearest the dining room.
What a touching
piece of nostalgia.
All right, boys, are you ready
for the Rat Race
bonus question?
Rat racing time!
Come on, Stan, get it!
Go, Stan!
Go! This one's for the money!
Okay, boys, all you gotta do
is complete the circuit,
and back to the buzzers.
First one on the buzzer
is the winner.
Are you ready?
On your mark, get, go!
Piece of cake!
Piece of cheese!
Come on, Stan! Come on!
You got it! Go!
Joe, congratulations.
Yes. Yes.
Well done, well, for 100,000
big smackeroonees--
Phil, I hit
my buzzer first.
Sorry, Stan.
Well, please try it.
We try to be honest.
Sorry, Stan.
Well, Joe, for 100,000
smackeroonees now...
I wanna know when and where
Elvis Presley last
fired a gun into a TV set...
and whose image
was the intended target?
I know that. I know that.
I know it.
Five seconds, or we
throw it to Stan.
1974, penthouse suite,
Ramada Inn...
Asheville, North Carolina,
and he shot at Robert Goulet!
Absolutely correct! Yes!
That's the correct answer!
,
Yes, well done, Joe! Well
I'm afraid that's all
we've got time for tonight.
So it's good night from me,
Phil Mayhew, and remember...
when the rat race gets rough
there's always someone...
to think you're the
big, big cheese.
Good night, everybody.
Good night. Good night.
Thank you, very much.
All right, cut.
Can we break the set, please?
Clear the set so we can
get the next one in.
Ladies and gentlemen....
Phil, you forgot to mention it
on the air, but I was
ahead on points...
so I get to come back
next week as
the returning champion...
and take a shot
at the bonus round.
No. The reason
I didn't mention it,
Stanley, my son...
is because
we've been cancelled.
What?
Stan, take it easy.
It's the sponsor's wife,
you see, it's Mrs. Opa-Locka
World of Discounts.
Well, she wants to
replace us with
Celebrity Recipes, see...
and she's 20
and Mr. Opa-Locka's 70...
so she tends to
get what she wants,
you know what I mean?
Yeah. Well, you owe me.
That buzzer was rigged.
That guy, Pert, was primed.
You owe me!
Cool it, cool it, Stan.
Look, he's a little upset.
Yeah, yeah,
well what about me?
I mean, I'm out of
a bloody job.
How about a little
consolation prize
or something?
No, not after the
last show, all right?
That's the way it goes, son.
You owe me!
That was your shot.
It's never gonna
happen again.
Can't we go out
dancing tonight?
I thought you wanted to go
to the movies.
After the movies.
Se?or Rivers.
Two times we waited
for that plane.
Two times we hear the shipment
goes to somebody else.
So I went and got myself
a new source.
No! Se?or Rivers! No!
So, you're not
absolutely sure...
but you say
somebody got a make
on that Mercedes, right?
We got a 90% certain make
on Tony Rivers' Mercedes...
being seen
in the area last night.
That should at least
give us a warrant
for Rivers' car.
Lieutenant, I hit
my buzzer first,
I knew the answer.
That guy that won,
he wouldn't know the King
if he walked up to him...
and stepped on his
blue suede shoes.
That $100,000 is mine.
And if you're not gonna
prosecute, I want you
to call my mother...
and tell her why I can't
buy her a new car.
How'd that sound?
That's very cute.
Cute? I thought it was
pretty damn straightforward.
Let me try it again.
Not now, Stan.
Yeah, I was just talking
with Larry about what our
next assignment might be.
You'll be relieving Gina
and Trudy on the graveyard.
That's your new shift.
No problem.
I'll call Scheduling
to make the change.
You're working both shifts
on the Rivers stakeout.
And you're each
docked a day's pay.
If you ask me,
you got off easy.
I can't believe
he overheard us.
I'm gonna nail that teabag
if it takes all my spare time.
If you ever have any again.
What we're getting from
the car wire indicates Rivers
is expanding his business.
He's starting to move kilos
to semi-pro part-time dealers.
Doctors, stockbrokers.
Respectable regular-guy types.
His girlfriend
acts as a broker.
Maybe Rivers is
just giving her
something to play with...
but she makes the connections,
he's the one that
supervises delivery.
We caught a couple of names,
nothing solid.
He's gonna be looking
for a new supplier...
now that he's retired
those guys at the warehouse.
And we gotta find a way
to get close to this guy.
Stay on him.
How come you get $80,000
and I only get $20,000?
Because it was my idea,
that's why. I could've
picked anyone, couldn't I?
I mean, I actually did you
a favor. Let's face it.
Didn't I, really?
Now come on. You know
the way out, don't you?
Look, it's been nice.
Sorry about that, Joe. I'll be
back in town in a few days.
I'll give you a....
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Can I help you?
Can you help me?
Yes, sir.
Are these real?
Real expensive.
Yeah, well, I've got
the readies if that's what
you're worried about.
Let's have a look
at some of this stuff.
All right.
I wanna see that one,
and that one there.
Okay.
That's good for day,
that's good for night.
What about this one here?
That's our finest.
Eighteen carat gold,
quartz, 60 diamonds.
Yeah. Well, we'll leave
that one for Liberace.
It is a bit much.
Yeah, just give me
the damage on these two.
All right.
I think I've overloaded
her circuits.
Pretty nice watches.
Yeah. Likewise the pearls.
They're God's tears, they are,
you know? Bet you don't
cry much though, do you?
I mean, you've got
the look of a woman
who doesn't cry much.
Not today.
You're English.
Norwegian, actually, but I had
the operation, you know.
Phil Mayhew.
Sarah MacPhail.
Yeah, throw this lot
in as well.
Don't bother to wrap them.
We'll eat them here.
Can I trust you
with a big secret?
Sarah, you are
looking at a man
with a very nasty habit.
Phil, this is the '80s,
everyone takes drugs.
No, darling, no.
It's far worse than drugs,
I'm afraid.
Well, I buy things for women,
you know. I mean, I just
can't stop. There, I said it.
Well, I've cut back a little,
you know.
Now it's just beautiful women
that I buy things for.
Thanks so much, Phil,
for everything.
How about lunch,
then? My place?
That sounds great.
I'd love that.
Birds of a feather
steal together.
Check it out.
The guy with Rivers is
Tim Stewart, a pilot
I busted in '81.
How did that teabag
get his meat hooks
into the Rivers girl?
There are a few
pieces of this puzzle
that don't fit.
I told you that guy was dirty.
I knew it. That's why I--
Why you what?
That's why he's been
thinking about him
for so much, Sonny.
We'll see what he's up to.
Don't you think Lar and I
should do that?
You're pulling a double shift.
Isidro Moreno.
Designer of the interior.
Sorry, I only got the one.
I love this house, man.
Limitless potency.
Toreadors on black velvet.
Very Hemingwayesque.
Women love Hemingway.
I can also re-sculpt
this empty space up here...
into a rich, dynamic...
fully functional albondigas.
Albondigas...
which qualifies you to work
with one of the great minds...
of the southern Florida
refugee experience...
and score some cheap furniture
at the same time.
You must take me
for a right wanker, son.
Well, a right wanker
who's got no furniture, man.
Now, look, a wanker
is a twit, a tube, a tool.
Like Joe Pert?
Now, look, that is
exactly what I'd be...
if I took you for
anything else other than
a two-bit thief!
But a two-bit thief who's got
local connections
that you might need.
So what are you getting at?
Introductions, man.
Athletes, celebrities...
heads of state, dentists.
You pick the fish,
I bait the hook.
Yeah? And what's your end?
Standard 500_.
Ten.
Yeah. Well, let's
talk about it after
you've got the furniture.
"The ability to communicate
is everything." lacocca.
I mustn't keep you.
Crockett, Tubbs,
what's going on?
You tell us, pal.
Hey, man, I thought
I made it clear. I needed
no back up on this assignment.
Whose assignment?
Switek.
Have you lost your mind?
Shoot me. Kill me.
I called in a marker.
And put a year and a half
of police work on the line!
The guy took my money.
What was I supposed to do?
You could've
left it alone, chump!
Listen, it wasn't
the smartest move
in the world, okay?
But now that
Izzy's on the inside,
let's leave him there.
Maybe he can bring us in.
We got a choice?
So you don't make a move
until we say so. You got it?
Absolutely, man.
This guy's got a lot
en la cabeza, man.
But he's from England.
He's gonna spend all his time
in the swimming pool.
We put the surveillance
in the pool.
We're gonna need
an underwater camera.
Shut up!
You two, keep Fellini in line
until we can run Phil
through the computer, okay?
We need one with
a shotgun mic, man.
We attach it to
the neighborhood's roof
over there.
Slant it over like an antenna,
blend in with the clouds.
Born in Whitechapel, London.
That's the home
of Jack the Ripper.
Ran games at a fair
as a kid, graduated
to a shill at a pony tracks.
Then ran an
open party out of
an apartment in Chelsea.
This is starting to track.
He eventually took
some young, rich types
for about ?30,OOO...
on a phony record label deal.
One of whom was with
the Soho mob.
So he split for
warmer climates a step
ahead of the knee breakers.
No connection to drugs,
and no connection to violence.
But a long history of greed.
So what's he doing
with this MacPhail girl?
I don't know, but if he
likes parties, that's
where we'll find out.
Izzy invites us as
Cooper and Burnett...
we bump into the girl
and get to Rivers through her.
You got it, man.
Hey, man!
I'm sorry. You gonna dive?
Go on. No, I wait
till you're done, okay?
What?
Your palace of iniquity
is ready, your highness.
Right this way,
your majesty.
Your palace.
Your den of iniquity.
I like it, Izzy.
I like it a lot.
You must be into
real estate, man.
Or maybe into the stock market
or something.
But you have
very good taste.
Makes you feel like
you're in Florida,
doesn't it?
Yeah, but I am
in Florida, Izzy.
You see? It works.
My grandma had one
just like this.
Hemingway.
Yeah, anyway,
the furnishing's
happening, right?
But what about
these introductions
you promised me?
All you gotta do now
is throw a party, man.
You'll have more
yuppies here than you
can shake your booty at.
Yeah, well, let's make lunch.
I've got company.
Manny!
Well, of course, you can
bring your friends. I mean,
I need your friends, you know.
Well, I don't know anywhere
near enough people around here
for a party this big.
You know, nonstop sex,
drugs, rock and roll,
you know the kind of thing.
Great.
Yeah.
Anything else I can bring?
No, Izzy here's seeing
to the music, ain't you?
Right. I crank up those
speakers any louder,
I'm gonna kill fish.
Yeah, right.
Let's go and open a bottle
of champagne out
on the veranda. Come on.
All right.
So, tell me,
how'd you make
all your money?
Well, after I
graduated from Cambridge,
I said to myself...
I'm not gonna live off
my mommy and daddy's money.
So I thought I'd try
and find my forte in life,
you know.
Well, maybe your forte
is just having a good time.
This is beautiful.
Yeah, I like it.
It's really beautiful.
Listen...
in the way of drugs,
I think I can scare up
a little coke.
Yeah, that'd be good.
Just to keep them marching,
you know, through the
three-day bash.
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna need
a little money, okay?
No, money's no problem.
Okay.
Anyway, we've....
Seems we've taken care
of the drugs...
and the rock and roll.
Well, I guess that just leaves
one other thing, doesn't it?
Dessert!
Okay, Izzy,
that'll be all for today.
I could microwave
some buttered popcorn!
Out!
Sarah stayed with him all day?
She stayed and played.
While I was waiting on her
I decided to do some
detailing on the car.
Eighteen months.
Where were you
when this happened?
You're supposed to be
watching the car.
I was.
Yeah, well it didn't
crawl in here by itself.
The only guy that's
been in this car
is that pilot, Stewart.
You got something for me?
Yeah, here.
I made the delivery!
You got bugs crawling
all over you!
Mr. Rivers, no!
It's the best picture
I could get of him...
it was just really crowded.
Excuse me.
Got the party list
from Moreno.
That MacPhail woman's put some
low weight names on it...
but she probably expects
to make some
new connections there.
That's where Cooper
and Burnett buy in.
Tim Stewart's body
was found this morning.
If Rivers is still nervous,
he's gonna be
paying closer attention...
to his girlfriend's hobby.
What about this dude, Phil?
Let Mayhew run his game.
If he gets in the way,
then remove him.
Where are we during all this?
Wiring Rivers' boat.
The pilot's death
bought us a new warrant.
I'm gonna keep this.
Make me a copy?
Sure.
Just put it on
the cabin table.
You sure you don't want me
to go with you?
No, I'm just gonna do
a little business and then
I'm gonna come home.
Jane Tyrell's gonna be there
and she's gonna have
a couple of friends.
And they'll probably
want a few ounces.
Bye.
Behave yourself.
Don't I always?
Welcome, welcome.
Muy bonita.
Hey, man. Don't go in there
with those brown shoes.
This party is
color cooperated.
Hi, how are you?
Have a good time.
Have a good time.
What's this?
I mean, what's this?
Six of you?
My heart's not
gonna take it.
One of you is
gonna have to go.
Have a good time.
Izzy.
What's Mayhew's game today?
Hey, man.
The man is
a master capitalist,
the King Kong of money.
I worship at his feet.
Top to bottom is he's bogus.
Are you making fun
of my beliefs?
Si..
I'll keep it.
I really love
what you've done
to this house.
It's a shame
it's only temporary,
really, yeah.
Well, I've got these
500 condos going up
in the Bahamas, you know.
Don't spread it around,
but I'm on the lookout
for a few more investors.
Only $100,000 upfront.
Hey, man,
no drunks,
no borrachos.
Sarah, hi, you look great.
Thanks.
Good to see you.
Thanks.
Listen, you ready to
gain a little weight?
Definitely.
There's some doctor
friends of mine here, too,
who're interested.
All right. It's $2,200.
Okay.
Put me down for six O-Zs.
But my friends might
wanna get a little fatter,
maybe a whole key.
Okay, I'll be around.
All right.
You wanna get
something to drink?
Yeah, I'm thirsty.
Great.
Now, see, I'm talking
thoroughbred horse sperm.
You remember Shergar,
supposed to have been nobbled
by the IRA and killed?
Well, I've got him
stashed away in Jamaica.
I mean, his kids
have already won
five stakes at Hialeah.
I'm just looking for a few
limited partners, you know,
just $100,000 upfront.
Sarah, hi.
Hello.
Hi, I'm Sonny Burnett,
this is my pal, Rico Cooper.
Hello. Nice to meet you.
We're friends
of friends of Jane.
Are you guys doctors?
Nose specialists.
You wanna find
a place to talk?
Love to.
Great.
How much are we
talking about?
How much you got?
Hemingway, huh?
He's one of my favorites.
You know, it's interesting
what he says about Pamplona.
So what does he say?
Who?
Hemingway.
He says it's a man's fiesta.
And women at it usually
cause trouble. Of course,
if they can talk Spanish--
Izzy, have you seen Sarah?
I like your taste.
Excuse me, have you seen
Sarah MacPhail? You know,
short, blond hair.
Who's he?
That's Sarah's boyfriend.
He's your host.
It's okay, come on in.
No, I haven't
seen her lately, Phil, sorry.
Okay, well, you carry on.
Okay, so are we
locked in at $35,000
for the key?
That's $8,750 a person.
That's a lot of money,
a lot of blow.
We're big boys and girls.
We can handle it.
Yeah.
Keys? Kilos? Keys.
You're buying kilos
of this stuff for $35,000?
Sure, that's practically
a bargain.
A bargain?
Why didn't you talk
to your Uncle Phil first?
I mean, my people cleared
the very first airstrip on the
Guajira Peninsula, you know.
I mean, where do you think
your boy gets his stuff from?
From me.
Well, I don't know,
we're only getting one.
Yeah. Well, I've got
three I can give you
for $25,000 per.
That's a lot of blow.
Great.
Keep you lot
bouncing for weeks, it will.
Yeah?
Yeah. Sure, yeah.
Don't go away,
I'll be right back.
Now $33,000 is our top.
That's fair.
I don't know.
I don't know if I can
handle five keys
on such short notice.
No problem. Simple.
You introduce us to your
source, and we'll give you
the regular commission.
It's okay with you?
Sarah? Sorry.
Just a second, all right?
One second, okay?
What?
Sorry, Sarah, just wanted to
let you know that it's all
straightened out with Phil.
What do you mean?
He's selling us the three keys
at $25,000 each.
Didn't he tell you?
No, but that's just Phil.
I'll talk to you
later, okay.
Okay.
It sounds like your boyfriend
is someone that
we should talk to.
He's not
my boyfriend.
Listen...
if I can meet his price
do we still have a deal?
Absolutely.
Now that we're
partners of sorts...
maybe you'd like to hear about
this real estate syndication
I'm involved in.
$100,000 up front, right?
Never kid a kidder.
Darling.
Go measure some fish.
Hello, dear.
Sweetie pie.
Yes?
You've been neglecting me.
I'm sorry, darling, I'm sorry.
You know, business.
Yes, well, I want your
undivided attention.
Let's get out of here.
What? And leave the party?
We'll have a party of our own.
Isidro, the party,
she's all yours.
No problem, man.
I in complete
and total control.
Get in.
I'll drive.
So what are you telling me?
I thought Jane Tyrell was
one of your best customers.
How was I supposed to know
what this guy was gonna pull?
I'm not a babysitter.
I was busy moving five
to Burnett and Cooper.
Five?
Five keys.
Five keys?
What are you, nuts?
You are
an ounce operation, baby.
Safe, respectable amounts
to safe, respectable people.
I'm bored with ounces.
Oh, you're bored!
What the hell is happening
here? All of a sudden
you're into keys...
I got somebody
bugging my car.
I got somebody cutting in
on my business here.
Bring Mayhew in here.
I wanna see his Face
while he's still got one.
Here comes the good part.
Hi, Sarah.
Look, I'm not exactly clear
on what's happening here.
Ben, remind Phil of
what's happening here.
Now, when you were moving in
on her business,
her customers...
who do you think
you were messing around with?
Nobody takes my action.
Nobody takes my action.
Nobody.
Look, I think there's been
some kind of
misunderstanding here.
I mean, I was never going to
deal any coke.
I mean, it just
isn't my line at all.
Yeah? Well, what were you
gonna do with the money
when you got it?
Dealing with money's
never been one of
my problems, you know.
You're a real smart guy.
You tell me what
I should do with you.
Well, how about letting me
go about my business...
and we'll forget
the whole thing?
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
And why don't I
believe you, then?
You get in touch with
Burnett and Cooper.
How much does Tyrell want?
Just the three.
All right. That's
eight at $25,000.
I get the money, they get
the merchandise, and
you're the middleman.
And what's in it
for me, then?
Life.
Yeah. That's a good point.
I like life.
Ben, take him home.
You get the money together
by 48 hours. I'll tell you
where and when to deliver it.
Remind him again
on the way home.
Keep the pearls, Sarah.
Thanks, Phil.
He's gonna kill
the little twerp.
Don't make me cry.
Come on, we better tail him.
Come on, Izzy, bugger off.
Going somewhere, Philly?
You scared me, boys.
Look, I'm sorry,
the party's over, all right?
No lie.
Took the words
right out of our mouth.
Possession, a felony.
Maintaining a premises
for the use of,
also a felony.
Conspiracy to
obtain for sale, a felony.
False passports and
an assortment of
fraudulent schemes, right?
A regular litany
of evil, ain't I?
Just for trying to pass
a mildly dishonest buck.
Phil, you have
won a scholarship, a full
scholarship, to Raiford.
That's a prison
we got here, pal.
Full ride, probably.
It will never happen.
No?
No. Because you are gonna
offer me immunity...
if I help you put
Sarah and Rivers
in the bag.
Maybe even burn Tyrell
and her mob and all.
You've been reading ahead.
I like to do my little bit
for law and order.
As long as the price is right.
Okay, let's talk.
Yeah, I got it. I got it.
Coral Amusement Park at 1:00.
Right.
No, not yet.
No, my investors
haven't arrived yet.
Run where, mate? I've got
one foot nailed to
the bloody floor, haven't I?
Yeah, and by the way,
give my love to Sarah.
I hope he dies impotent.
Cool out, man.
You aren't over yet.
Showtime.
Good evening.
Hi.
Come on in.
Thanks.
Come in, everybody.
Who are these guys?
They're just
customers like you.
Don't worry about it.
Come on in.
My house is your house.
Thanks.
Take a seat.
Make yourself at home.
Well, now we're all here,
if you'll just
give me the readies...
I'll nip off down the corner
store and back in about half
an hour. Is that all right?
You were supposed
to have the merchandise here.
We go where our money goes.
Yeah, look. The blokes
I gotta deal with...
to get you these prices,
they don't like
unfamiliar faces, all right?
Besides, they're not
exactly choir boys.
Neither are we.
I don't think we want to get
involved in this.
I agree.
Look, if you pull out now
the whole thing falls through.
Then you got these
to contend with.
This is a bit more
than we bargained for.
Yeah, well trust me.
Trust me!
I'm only gonna
be half an hour.
Have the keys
to the house, all right.
Put your mind at rest.
Half an hour.
Half an hour.
Half an hour.
Why don't you go to a movie?
And while you're at it,
why don't you get up
and open the gate for me.
Enjoy the rides.
What's this?
It's Burnett and Cooper.
I don't know.
Evening, all.
I know that white dude
over there, and I know
his car real well.
Our deal is
with Mayhew here.
Well, we figured we'd be
doing business with you
for a long time...
so we'd introduce ourselves.
I'm Burnett.
My partner, Cooper.
So? What do you got?
Sarah, do it.
Cover them.
Drop it!
Get him some help.
Freeze!
You okay?
We got lucky, Sonny.
After 18 months,
I'll take it
any way I can get it.
I got a BOLO on Mayhew's car,
but we ought to cover
the airport and the docks.
The case is closed.
The guy runs away
with $75,000 in cash.
Yeah. And the owners can't
claim it unless they wanna
admit they were in on the buy.
Tell me he's not gonna walk.
He didn't. He drove.
You ever seen this?
Wrestling's on.
You like wrestling.
You know, Lar
it's a degenerate
world out there.
Nobody seems to care
about anybody anymore.
There used to be a time
where your word was your word.
You promised
somebody something,
you came through.
Touch my hands.
Not anymore.
Heal.
Look at this.
Heal! Amen.
Do you know God
is in this place?
I want you to come up here
and pick up your miracle.
My child, you have a deaf ear.
You have a deaf ear.
I will help it.
I will help it.
Through God, I will help it.
Devil, get out!
Devil, get out!
Can you believe it?
I can hear.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord for returning
the power of speech
to this precious child.
I can hear.
Praise the Lord. Hallelujah!
This one's for you, Elvis.
Stan, what are you doing?
Congratulations.
Well, though Elvis
toured the world
several times...
he always said that
his favorite place was
his home in Graceland.
So, Joe, for 10 points
and a tie game...
How many bathrooms
are there in Graceland?
The whole country?
One million...
two hundred and....
I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry.
But I didn't finish.
No, that's because
there were in fact
only eight bathrooms...
in Elvis' mansion in Memphis.
The bonus bell!
Stan Switek and Joe Pert,
are you ready to go on to
the Rat Race bonus question...
worth 100,000
fabulous dollars?
You bet, Phil.
This is rock and reggae
radio vice, calling all the
brothers and sisters...
can you receive me now?
Wish Switek and Zito
hadn't called in sick.
This is not my style.
Let's do it.
Hey, you, get out here!
Come here!
Twelve coats of Enzo's best
tuxedo black lacquer...
and all it takes is one
meathead like you
to screw it up.
I don't see squat.
What, are you blind?
Now it looks better.
Very easy, but very wrong.
You know, I bet you
rubbing compound will take
that right out of there.
No hard feelings, okay?
I know you're not a masochist
or anything but it does
give you character.
You're a real funny guy, Rico.
I just hope to hell
it was worth it.
Eighteen months
just to get a bug
in this dude's car.
By the time we bust him,
we'll be looking
at retirement.
Rivers is a heavy player.
Gotta make a mistake sometime.
Turn that up.
Okay, boys, all you gotta do
is complete the circuit...
first one
back to the buzzers wins.
All right?
Oh, good, Switek.
Now, he's supposed to be...
sick.
I'll kill the worm.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Once again, tonight's category
is the King of Rock 'n' Roll.
Hell, I can see
that doesn't half tickle
Stanley's fancy.
Just for the record, Phil,
in addition to the
eight bathrooms...
Graceland also has
four half-baths.
He's a sharp one, isn't he?
I can see we can
kiss that money goodbye.
I used the one
nearest the dining room.
What a touching
piece of nostalgia.
All right, boys, are you ready
for the Rat Race
bonus question?
Rat racing time!
Come on, Stan, get it!
Go, Stan!
Go! This one's for the money!
Okay, boys, all you gotta do
is complete the circuit,
and back to the buzzers.
First one on the buzzer
is the winner.
Are you ready?
On your mark, get, go!
Piece of cake!
Piece of cheese!
Come on, Stan! Come on!
You got it! Go!
Joe, congratulations.
Yes. Yes.
Well done, well, for 100,000
big smackeroonees--
Phil, I hit
my buzzer first.
Sorry, Stan.
Well, please try it.
We try to be honest.
Sorry, Stan.
Well, Joe, for 100,000
smackeroonees now...
I wanna know when and where
Elvis Presley last
fired a gun into a TV set...
and whose image
was the intended target?
I know that. I know that.
I know it.
Five seconds, or we
throw it to Stan.
1974, penthouse suite,
Ramada Inn...
Asheville, North Carolina,
and he shot at Robert Goulet!
Absolutely correct! Yes!
That's the correct answer!
,
Yes, well done, Joe! Well
I'm afraid that's all
we've got time for tonight.
So it's good night from me,
Phil Mayhew, and remember...
when the rat race gets rough
there's always someone...
to think you're the
big, big cheese.
Good night, everybody.
Good night. Good night.
Thank you, very much.
All right, cut.
Can we break the set, please?
Clear the set so we can
get the next one in.
Ladies and gentlemen....
Phil, you forgot to mention it
on the air, but I was
ahead on points...
so I get to come back
next week as
the returning champion...
and take a shot
at the bonus round.
No. The reason
I didn't mention it,
Stanley, my son...
is because
we've been cancelled.
What?
Stan, take it easy.
It's the sponsor's wife,
you see, it's Mrs. Opa-Locka
World of Discounts.
Well, she wants to
replace us with
Celebrity Recipes, see...
and she's 20
and Mr. Opa-Locka's 70...
so she tends to
get what she wants,
you know what I mean?
Yeah. Well, you owe me.
That buzzer was rigged.
That guy, Pert, was primed.
You owe me!
Cool it, cool it, Stan.
Look, he's a little upset.
Yeah, yeah,
well what about me?
I mean, I'm out of
a bloody job.
How about a little
consolation prize
or something?
No, not after the
last show, all right?
That's the way it goes, son.
You owe me!
That was your shot.
It's never gonna
happen again.
Can't we go out
dancing tonight?
I thought you wanted to go
to the movies.
After the movies.
Se?or Rivers.
Two times we waited
for that plane.
Two times we hear the shipment
goes to somebody else.
So I went and got myself
a new source.
No! Se?or Rivers! No!
So, you're not
absolutely sure...
but you say
somebody got a make
on that Mercedes, right?
We got a 90% certain make
on Tony Rivers' Mercedes...
being seen
in the area last night.
That should at least
give us a warrant
for Rivers' car.
Lieutenant, I hit
my buzzer first,
I knew the answer.
That guy that won,
he wouldn't know the King
if he walked up to him...
and stepped on his
blue suede shoes.
That $100,000 is mine.
And if you're not gonna
prosecute, I want you
to call my mother...
and tell her why I can't
buy her a new car.
How'd that sound?
That's very cute.
Cute? I thought it was
pretty damn straightforward.
Let me try it again.
Not now, Stan.
Yeah, I was just talking
with Larry about what our
next assignment might be.
You'll be relieving Gina
and Trudy on the graveyard.
That's your new shift.
No problem.
I'll call Scheduling
to make the change.
You're working both shifts
on the Rivers stakeout.
And you're each
docked a day's pay.
If you ask me,
you got off easy.
I can't believe
he overheard us.
I'm gonna nail that teabag
if it takes all my spare time.
If you ever have any again.
What we're getting from
the car wire indicates Rivers
is expanding his business.
He's starting to move kilos
to semi-pro part-time dealers.
Doctors, stockbrokers.
Respectable regular-guy types.
His girlfriend
acts as a broker.
Maybe Rivers is
just giving her
something to play with...
but she makes the connections,
he's the one that
supervises delivery.
We caught a couple of names,
nothing solid.
He's gonna be looking
for a new supplier...
now that he's retired
those guys at the warehouse.
And we gotta find a way
to get close to this guy.
Stay on him.
How come you get $80,000
and I only get $20,000?
Because it was my idea,
that's why. I could've
picked anyone, couldn't I?
I mean, I actually did you
a favor. Let's face it.
Didn't I, really?
Now come on. You know
the way out, don't you?
Look, it's been nice.
Sorry about that, Joe. I'll be
back in town in a few days.
I'll give you a....
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Can I help you?
Can you help me?
Yes, sir.
Are these real?
Real expensive.
Yeah, well, I've got
the readies if that's what
you're worried about.
Let's have a look
at some of this stuff.
All right.
I wanna see that one,
and that one there.
Okay.
That's good for day,
that's good for night.
What about this one here?
That's our finest.
Eighteen carat gold,
quartz, 60 diamonds.
Yeah. Well, we'll leave
that one for Liberace.
It is a bit much.
Yeah, just give me
the damage on these two.
All right.
I think I've overloaded
her circuits.
Pretty nice watches.
Yeah. Likewise the pearls.
They're God's tears, they are,
you know? Bet you don't
cry much though, do you?
I mean, you've got
the look of a woman
who doesn't cry much.
Not today.
You're English.
Norwegian, actually, but I had
the operation, you know.
Phil Mayhew.
Sarah MacPhail.
Yeah, throw this lot
in as well.
Don't bother to wrap them.
We'll eat them here.
Can I trust you
with a big secret?
Sarah, you are
looking at a man
with a very nasty habit.
Phil, this is the '80s,
everyone takes drugs.
No, darling, no.
It's far worse than drugs,
I'm afraid.
Well, I buy things for women,
you know. I mean, I just
can't stop. There, I said it.
Well, I've cut back a little,
you know.
Now it's just beautiful women
that I buy things for.
Thanks so much, Phil,
for everything.
How about lunch,
then? My place?
That sounds great.
I'd love that.
Birds of a feather
steal together.
Check it out.
The guy with Rivers is
Tim Stewart, a pilot
I busted in '81.
How did that teabag
get his meat hooks
into the Rivers girl?
There are a few
pieces of this puzzle
that don't fit.
I told you that guy was dirty.
I knew it. That's why I--
Why you what?
That's why he's been
thinking about him
for so much, Sonny.
We'll see what he's up to.
Don't you think Lar and I
should do that?
You're pulling a double shift.
Isidro Moreno.
Designer of the interior.
Sorry, I only got the one.
I love this house, man.
Limitless potency.
Toreadors on black velvet.
Very Hemingwayesque.
Women love Hemingway.
I can also re-sculpt
this empty space up here...
into a rich, dynamic...
fully functional albondigas.
Albondigas...
which qualifies you to work
with one of the great minds...
of the southern Florida
refugee experience...
and score some cheap furniture
at the same time.
You must take me
for a right wanker, son.
Well, a right wanker
who's got no furniture, man.
Now, look, a wanker
is a twit, a tube, a tool.
Like Joe Pert?
Now, look, that is
exactly what I'd be...
if I took you for
anything else other than
a two-bit thief!
But a two-bit thief who's got
local connections
that you might need.
So what are you getting at?
Introductions, man.
Athletes, celebrities...
heads of state, dentists.
You pick the fish,
I bait the hook.
Yeah? And what's your end?
Standard 500_.
Ten.
Yeah. Well, let's
talk about it after
you've got the furniture.
"The ability to communicate
is everything." lacocca.
I mustn't keep you.
Crockett, Tubbs,
what's going on?
You tell us, pal.
Hey, man, I thought
I made it clear. I needed
no back up on this assignment.
Whose assignment?
Switek.
Have you lost your mind?
Shoot me. Kill me.
I called in a marker.
And put a year and a half
of police work on the line!
The guy took my money.
What was I supposed to do?
You could've
left it alone, chump!
Listen, it wasn't
the smartest move
in the world, okay?
But now that
Izzy's on the inside,
let's leave him there.
Maybe he can bring us in.
We got a choice?
So you don't make a move
until we say so. You got it?
Absolutely, man.
This guy's got a lot
en la cabeza, man.
But he's from England.
He's gonna spend all his time
in the swimming pool.
We put the surveillance
in the pool.
We're gonna need
an underwater camera.
Shut up!
You two, keep Fellini in line
until we can run Phil
through the computer, okay?
We need one with
a shotgun mic, man.
We attach it to
the neighborhood's roof
over there.
Slant it over like an antenna,
blend in with the clouds.
Born in Whitechapel, London.
That's the home
of Jack the Ripper.
Ran games at a fair
as a kid, graduated
to a shill at a pony tracks.
Then ran an
open party out of
an apartment in Chelsea.
This is starting to track.
He eventually took
some young, rich types
for about ?30,OOO...
on a phony record label deal.
One of whom was with
the Soho mob.
So he split for
warmer climates a step
ahead of the knee breakers.
No connection to drugs,
and no connection to violence.
But a long history of greed.
So what's he doing
with this MacPhail girl?
I don't know, but if he
likes parties, that's
where we'll find out.
Izzy invites us as
Cooper and Burnett...
we bump into the girl
and get to Rivers through her.
You got it, man.
Hey, man!
I'm sorry. You gonna dive?
Go on. No, I wait
till you're done, okay?
What?
Your palace of iniquity
is ready, your highness.
Right this way,
your majesty.
Your palace.
Your den of iniquity.
I like it, Izzy.
I like it a lot.
You must be into
real estate, man.
Or maybe into the stock market
or something.
But you have
very good taste.
Makes you feel like
you're in Florida,
doesn't it?
Yeah, but I am
in Florida, Izzy.
You see? It works.
My grandma had one
just like this.
Hemingway.
Yeah, anyway,
the furnishing's
happening, right?
But what about
these introductions
you promised me?
All you gotta do now
is throw a party, man.
You'll have more
yuppies here than you
can shake your booty at.
Yeah, well, let's make lunch.
I've got company.
Manny!
Well, of course, you can
bring your friends. I mean,
I need your friends, you know.
Well, I don't know anywhere
near enough people around here
for a party this big.
You know, nonstop sex,
drugs, rock and roll,
you know the kind of thing.
Great.
Yeah.
Anything else I can bring?
No, Izzy here's seeing
to the music, ain't you?
Right. I crank up those
speakers any louder,
I'm gonna kill fish.
Yeah, right.
Let's go and open a bottle
of champagne out
on the veranda. Come on.
All right.
So, tell me,
how'd you make
all your money?
Well, after I
graduated from Cambridge,
I said to myself...
I'm not gonna live off
my mommy and daddy's money.
So I thought I'd try
and find my forte in life,
you know.
Well, maybe your forte
is just having a good time.
This is beautiful.
Yeah, I like it.
It's really beautiful.
Listen...
in the way of drugs,
I think I can scare up
a little coke.
Yeah, that'd be good.
Just to keep them marching,
you know, through the
three-day bash.
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna need
a little money, okay?
No, money's no problem.
Okay.
Anyway, we've....
Seems we've taken care
of the drugs...
and the rock and roll.
Well, I guess that just leaves
one other thing, doesn't it?
Dessert!
Okay, Izzy,
that'll be all for today.
I could microwave
some buttered popcorn!
Out!
Sarah stayed with him all day?
She stayed and played.
While I was waiting on her
I decided to do some
detailing on the car.
Eighteen months.
Where were you
when this happened?
You're supposed to be
watching the car.
I was.
Yeah, well it didn't
crawl in here by itself.
The only guy that's
been in this car
is that pilot, Stewart.
You got something for me?
Yeah, here.
I made the delivery!
You got bugs crawling
all over you!
Mr. Rivers, no!
It's the best picture
I could get of him...
it was just really crowded.
Excuse me.
Got the party list
from Moreno.
That MacPhail woman's put some
low weight names on it...
but she probably expects
to make some
new connections there.
That's where Cooper
and Burnett buy in.
Tim Stewart's body
was found this morning.
If Rivers is still nervous,
he's gonna be
paying closer attention...
to his girlfriend's hobby.
What about this dude, Phil?
Let Mayhew run his game.
If he gets in the way,
then remove him.
Where are we during all this?
Wiring Rivers' boat.
The pilot's death
bought us a new warrant.
I'm gonna keep this.
Make me a copy?
Sure.
Just put it on
the cabin table.
You sure you don't want me
to go with you?
No, I'm just gonna do
a little business and then
I'm gonna come home.
Jane Tyrell's gonna be there
and she's gonna have
a couple of friends.
And they'll probably
want a few ounces.
Bye.
Behave yourself.
Don't I always?
Welcome, welcome.
Muy bonita.
Hey, man. Don't go in there
with those brown shoes.
This party is
color cooperated.
Hi, how are you?
Have a good time.
Have a good time.
What's this?
I mean, what's this?
Six of you?
My heart's not
gonna take it.
One of you is
gonna have to go.
Have a good time.
Izzy.
What's Mayhew's game today?
Hey, man.
The man is
a master capitalist,
the King Kong of money.
I worship at his feet.
Top to bottom is he's bogus.
Are you making fun
of my beliefs?
Si..
I'll keep it.
I really love
what you've done
to this house.
It's a shame
it's only temporary,
really, yeah.
Well, I've got these
500 condos going up
in the Bahamas, you know.
Don't spread it around,
but I'm on the lookout
for a few more investors.
Only $100,000 upfront.
Hey, man,
no drunks,
no borrachos.
Sarah, hi, you look great.
Thanks.
Good to see you.
Thanks.
Listen, you ready to
gain a little weight?
Definitely.
There's some doctor
friends of mine here, too,
who're interested.
All right. It's $2,200.
Okay.
Put me down for six O-Zs.
But my friends might
wanna get a little fatter,
maybe a whole key.
Okay, I'll be around.
All right.
You wanna get
something to drink?
Yeah, I'm thirsty.
Great.
Now, see, I'm talking
thoroughbred horse sperm.
You remember Shergar,
supposed to have been nobbled
by the IRA and killed?
Well, I've got him
stashed away in Jamaica.
I mean, his kids
have already won
five stakes at Hialeah.
I'm just looking for a few
limited partners, you know,
just $100,000 upfront.
Sarah, hi.
Hello.
Hi, I'm Sonny Burnett,
this is my pal, Rico Cooper.
Hello. Nice to meet you.
We're friends
of friends of Jane.
Are you guys doctors?
Nose specialists.
You wanna find
a place to talk?
Love to.
Great.
How much are we
talking about?
How much you got?
Hemingway, huh?
He's one of my favorites.
You know, it's interesting
what he says about Pamplona.
So what does he say?
Who?
Hemingway.
He says it's a man's fiesta.
And women at it usually
cause trouble. Of course,
if they can talk Spanish--
Izzy, have you seen Sarah?
I like your taste.
Excuse me, have you seen
Sarah MacPhail? You know,
short, blond hair.
Who's he?
That's Sarah's boyfriend.
He's your host.
It's okay, come on in.
No, I haven't
seen her lately, Phil, sorry.
Okay, well, you carry on.
Okay, so are we
locked in at $35,000
for the key?
That's $8,750 a person.
That's a lot of money,
a lot of blow.
We're big boys and girls.
We can handle it.
Yeah.
Keys? Kilos? Keys.
You're buying kilos
of this stuff for $35,000?
Sure, that's practically
a bargain.
A bargain?
Why didn't you talk
to your Uncle Phil first?
I mean, my people cleared
the very first airstrip on the
Guajira Peninsula, you know.
I mean, where do you think
your boy gets his stuff from?
From me.
Well, I don't know,
we're only getting one.
Yeah. Well, I've got
three I can give you
for $25,000 per.
That's a lot of blow.
Great.
Keep you lot
bouncing for weeks, it will.
Yeah?
Yeah. Sure, yeah.
Don't go away,
I'll be right back.
Now $33,000 is our top.
That's fair.
I don't know.
I don't know if I can
handle five keys
on such short notice.
No problem. Simple.
You introduce us to your
source, and we'll give you
the regular commission.
It's okay with you?
Sarah? Sorry.
Just a second, all right?
One second, okay?
What?
Sorry, Sarah, just wanted to
let you know that it's all
straightened out with Phil.
What do you mean?
He's selling us the three keys
at $25,000 each.
Didn't he tell you?
No, but that's just Phil.
I'll talk to you
later, okay.
Okay.
It sounds like your boyfriend
is someone that
we should talk to.
He's not
my boyfriend.
Listen...
if I can meet his price
do we still have a deal?
Absolutely.
Now that we're
partners of sorts...
maybe you'd like to hear about
this real estate syndication
I'm involved in.
$100,000 up front, right?
Never kid a kidder.
Darling.
Go measure some fish.
Hello, dear.
Sweetie pie.
Yes?
You've been neglecting me.
I'm sorry, darling, I'm sorry.
You know, business.
Yes, well, I want your
undivided attention.
Let's get out of here.
What? And leave the party?
We'll have a party of our own.
Isidro, the party,
she's all yours.
No problem, man.
I in complete
and total control.
Get in.
I'll drive.
So what are you telling me?
I thought Jane Tyrell was
one of your best customers.
How was I supposed to know
what this guy was gonna pull?
I'm not a babysitter.
I was busy moving five
to Burnett and Cooper.
Five?
Five keys.
Five keys?
What are you, nuts?
You are
an ounce operation, baby.
Safe, respectable amounts
to safe, respectable people.
I'm bored with ounces.
Oh, you're bored!
What the hell is happening
here? All of a sudden
you're into keys...
I got somebody
bugging my car.
I got somebody cutting in
on my business here.
Bring Mayhew in here.
I wanna see his Face
while he's still got one.
Here comes the good part.
Hi, Sarah.
Look, I'm not exactly clear
on what's happening here.
Ben, remind Phil of
what's happening here.
Now, when you were moving in
on her business,
her customers...
who do you think
you were messing around with?
Nobody takes my action.
Nobody takes my action.
Nobody.
Look, I think there's been
some kind of
misunderstanding here.
I mean, I was never going to
deal any coke.
I mean, it just
isn't my line at all.
Yeah? Well, what were you
gonna do with the money
when you got it?
Dealing with money's
never been one of
my problems, you know.
You're a real smart guy.
You tell me what
I should do with you.
Well, how about letting me
go about my business...
and we'll forget
the whole thing?
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
And why don't I
believe you, then?
You get in touch with
Burnett and Cooper.
How much does Tyrell want?
Just the three.
All right. That's
eight at $25,000.
I get the money, they get
the merchandise, and
you're the middleman.
And what's in it
for me, then?
Life.
Yeah. That's a good point.
I like life.
Ben, take him home.
You get the money together
by 48 hours. I'll tell you
where and when to deliver it.
Remind him again
on the way home.
Keep the pearls, Sarah.
Thanks, Phil.
He's gonna kill
the little twerp.
Don't make me cry.
Come on, we better tail him.
Come on, Izzy, bugger off.
Going somewhere, Philly?
You scared me, boys.
Look, I'm sorry,
the party's over, all right?
No lie.
Took the words
right out of our mouth.
Possession, a felony.
Maintaining a premises
for the use of,
also a felony.
Conspiracy to
obtain for sale, a felony.
False passports and
an assortment of
fraudulent schemes, right?
A regular litany
of evil, ain't I?
Just for trying to pass
a mildly dishonest buck.
Phil, you have
won a scholarship, a full
scholarship, to Raiford.
That's a prison
we got here, pal.
Full ride, probably.
It will never happen.
No?
No. Because you are gonna
offer me immunity...
if I help you put
Sarah and Rivers
in the bag.
Maybe even burn Tyrell
and her mob and all.
You've been reading ahead.
I like to do my little bit
for law and order.
As long as the price is right.
Okay, let's talk.
Yeah, I got it. I got it.
Coral Amusement Park at 1:00.
Right.
No, not yet.
No, my investors
haven't arrived yet.
Run where, mate? I've got
one foot nailed to
the bloody floor, haven't I?
Yeah, and by the way,
give my love to Sarah.
I hope he dies impotent.
Cool out, man.
You aren't over yet.
Showtime.
Good evening.
Hi.
Come on in.
Thanks.
Come in, everybody.
Who are these guys?
They're just
customers like you.
Don't worry about it.
Come on in.
My house is your house.
Thanks.
Take a seat.
Make yourself at home.
Well, now we're all here,
if you'll just
give me the readies...
I'll nip off down the corner
store and back in about half
an hour. Is that all right?
You were supposed
to have the merchandise here.
We go where our money goes.
Yeah, look. The blokes
I gotta deal with...
to get you these prices,
they don't like
unfamiliar faces, all right?
Besides, they're not
exactly choir boys.
Neither are we.
I don't think we want to get
involved in this.
I agree.
Look, if you pull out now
the whole thing falls through.
Then you got these
to contend with.
This is a bit more
than we bargained for.
Yeah, well trust me.
Trust me!
I'm only gonna
be half an hour.
Have the keys
to the house, all right.
Put your mind at rest.
Half an hour.
Half an hour.
Half an hour.
Why don't you go to a movie?
And while you're at it,
why don't you get up
and open the gate for me.
Enjoy the rides.
What's this?
It's Burnett and Cooper.
I don't know.
Evening, all.
I know that white dude
over there, and I know
his car real well.
Our deal is
with Mayhew here.
Well, we figured we'd be
doing business with you
for a long time...
so we'd introduce ourselves.
I'm Burnett.
My partner, Cooper.
So? What do you got?
Sarah, do it.
Cover them.
Drop it!
Get him some help.
Freeze!
You okay?
We got lucky, Sonny.
After 18 months,
I'll take it
any way I can get it.
I got a BOLO on Mayhew's car,
but we ought to cover
the airport and the docks.
The case is closed.
The guy runs away
with $75,000 in cash.
Yeah. And the owners can't
claim it unless they wanna
admit they were in on the buy.
Tell me he's not gonna walk.
He didn't. He drove.
You ever seen this?
Wrestling's on.
You like wrestling.
You know, Lar
it's a degenerate
world out there.
Nobody seems to care
about anybody anymore.
There used to be a time
where your word was your word.
You promised
somebody something,
you came through.
Touch my hands.
Not anymore.
Heal.
Look at this.
Heal! Amen.
Do you know God
is in this place?
I want you to come up here
and pick up your miracle.
My child, you have a deaf ear.
You have a deaf ear.
I will help it.
I will help it.
Through God, I will help it.
Devil, get out!
Devil, get out!
Can you believe it?
I can hear.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord for returning
the power of speech
to this precious child.
I can hear.
Praise the Lord. Hallelujah!
This one's for you, Elvis.
Stan, what are you doing?