Metalocalypse (2006–2013): Season 3, Episode 1 - RenovationKlok - full transcript
Believing Ofdensen is dead, Dethklok is forced to become their own managers while dealing with repairs to the destroyed Mordhaus and trying to plan their biggest concert to date. Their efforts are stalled however when a past acquaintance cuts off their unlimited financial freedom to get revenge against the band.
Such a pleasure doing
business with you
and Dethklok, Charles.
Well Roy, the way this band
has been doing I think
we'll all become very wealthy.
It's all quite metal.
What's that, uh, sound?
oh.
Hey, where's all the fucking
naked sluts?
Dad, your stupid whore
secretary toId me that you
"weren't to be bothered."
I toId her to go
fuck herself.
And then I slapped her.
Now I need some money.
Now!
I'm sorry gentlemen.
This is my son Damien.
Damien!
This is a private meeting!
You should be back
at recording industry coIlege!
Fuck that stupid shit.
I'll be running this place
anyway since you don't know
what the fuck you're doing.
Look.
You'll just let anybody in here!
Ha. Look at this Iong haired
monkey.
What kind of music do you play?
Death metal.
You motherfucker.
Maybe it's best we all
cooI down, huh?
You'll be sorry for that,
you son of a bitch!
I'll never fucking forget
you did this!
Sorry, uh... again.
What do I tell you guys before
every meeting?
Try not to punch people.
Try not to punch people.
That's correct.
What do you eXpect from us?
These meetings are sooo boring.
We don't care about them.
You should care, William.
Let me just say this
to everybody.
Pay attention to this
contractual stuff because, uh,
what if i'm not around
in the future?
God it's loud!
Shut up with the fucking
construction, man!
Can you guys see that hungover
people are trying to sleep?
How the fuck can people
listen to that racket?
# [Death metal plays] #
There. That's better.
What's up bro!??!
Who the fuck are you?
I'm some dude!
I snuck in.
How is that possible?
I just snuck into your trunk
last night!
You guys were pretty hammered!!
Whose in charge of fucking
security now?
Dude you're my favorite
singer!
You gotta leave a message on
my cell phone!
Ugh.
Weird dude in my bedroom.
This doesn't Iook good.
[Jackhammer]
oh, good mornins!
Nice of yous twos to join us!
Dudes, when the fuck is
this place gonna be
fuckin' finished?
I need to be able to
start sleeping again!
Well, we're almost done
now that we've picked the most
beautiful and elegant
interior designer in the whole
world.
Who is that dildo?!!!
Some guy who snuck right in!
oh. Murderface, don't.
Don't do that.
ow! ow! Stop!
Fuck you lady!
You're fired!!!
Get out of here!
I'm sorry it didn't work out
you know.
Call me if you want to hang,
you know what I'm saying.
or whatever.
You, weirdo.
There's the door.
Get the fuck out of here
and uh, thanks uh, for
buying our records.
My friends are never gonna
believe me!
See you guys later!
ALLh
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ToKlh
oh nooooos!!
Not agains!!!!
PICKLESh
we keep forgetting
that we're up here!!!
SKWISGAARh
Until renovations
ams finished at least.
NATHANh
Guys, we don't have
a manager now so all the stupid
fuckin' shit is up to us.
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok!
Dethklok! #
# I'II... teach you...
to... rock... #
# Dethklok, Dethklok #
# Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree #
# Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee #
# William Murderface
Murderface Murderface #
# Pickles the drummer
doodily doo #
ding dong doodily
doodily doo #
# Nathan EXplosion #
Dethklok in a press
conference recently announced
plans for their first live show
since its attack, giving
a much-needed boost
to the world's economy.
We know that the world is
going through a tough time
right now economically.
And we see a Iot
of businesses scaling down.
But not us.
We're going to put on
the biggest, most eXpensive
elaborate live show
that's ever been done.
We're gonna make
spending money metal.
Check it out!
We made solid crystal posters
and they're not even for sale!
Tickets are pentouple price!
There's no recession for metal!
The recession is
an asshole!
And with the untimely death
of their manager,
how will Dethklok continue to
organize their multi krillion
doIlar business?
We're not hiring
a replacement manager.
Too fuckin' soon Kimosabe.
We're taking on
all management, uh, thingies.
I ams in charge
of Financials Treasuries.
I am head of Financial
Business Affairs.
I'm chief of
Financial Receipts.
Gathering.
Deputy President of
Financial Monies.
I'ms in charge of snacks.
Fuckin' bullshit.
Aren't you frightened of
mismanaging this band?
Charles offdensen was considered
by many a financial genius.
What are your credentials?
Fuck you!
That's my credentials!
We know what we're fuckin'
doing, as...
and with Dethklok in charge
of their finances, how will
they controI their spending?
Receipts have been submitted to
the media that show billions of
doIlars squandered
on vanity projects.
Fifteen million doIlars was
spent on Dethklok kitty shades,
sunglasses for cats.
Twenty million was spent on
the "super tits candy snake
project," which was never
completed or defined.
And finally, $85.5 million was
spent converting 90 acres of
land and corn silos into "CooI
Ranch Dorito" dispensers.
[Cheering]
Welcome to Dethklok's
Dorito Land!
[Electricity buzzing,
people screaming]
I'd like to remind you all
that Dorito Land is not open
to the public.
It's just for us.
Sorry.
Which brings us to now.
With the economic world in fluX,
Dethklok has cancelled all
interviews to work on
"more important issues."
Guys, ever since Murderface
harassed that other interior
designer and she fell out
of our house, it made me think-
we got to be
the interior designers of
Mordhaus.
All it is is making decisions.
I'll make a decision right now,
check this out.
I decided to slice it.
So then what are we going
to do about the living room?
That's the most important
decision because that's the room
that everybody shares.
Am I right?
Yeah, you're right.
Guys, wait! I've got it!
I got it!
A sandscape!
A big badass indoor
desert scene.
- Sandscape right here!
- No!
Living room is going to be
- a badass Arizona style.
- No way!
- Tucson!
- Fuck no!
Scottsdale!
Right here man!
You know how I feel
about sand!
But it's an escape!
I hate this idea!
Real cactus,
real tumbleweeds, real snakes!
Huh?
Jackrabbit!
Where's Toki? He'd Iove that!
Where is he?
Sand will get everywhere,
Murderface.
Vacuum. No problem.
oh yeah, like that won't be
a fuckin' nightmare.
oh, uh, guess I'm gonna
leave the room.
Guess I'll vacuum my stupid
fuckin' shoes again.
Tucson!
Scottsdale!
Ugh.
Do you know what goes into
making a house a home?
Fuckin' bad-ass concert
lighting.
I'll show you.
Uh Toki.
You're supposed to be making
snacks.
And all I'm smelling is
burning plastic.
And you know that burning
plastic isn't snacks.
I mean, Toki?
Are you listening to me?
I misses hims Pickle.
We all do.
Even though we don't say it.
Why don't we says it, Pickle?
Toki...
[sighs]
Because admitting sadness
makes you gay.
I feel we're taking Dethklok
and managing it
right downs the crapper.
Toki. okay, listen.
You're in charge of snacks.
And judging by your snack...
[Nathan screaming]
Ams dat Nathans screamins?
Alright check this out.
It's scream activated lighting.
Whaaaaaa!!!!!
See? You come home it's dark.
Where are my keys?
Whaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
over there.
Put it in every single room of
the house.
I'm afraid that's going to
cost an awful Iot of money
I'm just telling you.
Fuck money!
ALLh
Fuck money!
Dis is my platinums practice
chambers.
I has a solid ruby metronome.
And a champagne humidifier.
So fuckin' eXpensive dat
it makes me horny.
This is my endangered species
furniture room.
Seriously guys.
Fuck money.
My Lords may I please speak
with you about a personal
financial matter?
What? Go! Talk!
Masters our paychecks are not
being honored at the bank.
ohhhhhhh.
Uhhh, lets see.
That's weird.
Yes sire. It bounced.
Guys if their money's fuck'd
then our could be too!
We gotta find out what's
going on with our money!
You'll be sorry for that,
you son of a bitch!
I'll never fuckin' forget
you did this!
Since my poor father has been
ill it's been my personal task
to clean this company up.
Which brings me to Dethklok.
Dethklok is finally
in a vulnerable position.
And they're getting no more of
the label money until they
renegotiate the terms
that we think are fair.
And if they don't.
They'll be sorry.
NATHANh
Guys, uh I just
checked all of our accounts
and uh,
no money is coming in.
What the fuck is
going on here?
SKWISGAARh
Uh, Williams?
Did you pay the electrics bill?
MURDERFACEh
uh, what am I
gonna pay it with?
My farts?
[Creaking]
ALLh
[screaming]
REPoRTERh
This is the footage
that caught the world's
attention.
Dethklok literally plummeting
both financially and actually.
Hopefully this hiccup
won't affect Dethklok's
"most eXpensive concert ever."
Gentlemen, for the first time
Dethklok could be
in grave financial peril.
Vader orlag?
Dethklok Iost a truly
important part of their empire.
This man.
With him gone Dethklok hasn't
the capabilities to make
educated business decisions
and in the meantime they're
squandering billions.
Here to eXplain more about
Dethklok's financial problems is
Dethklok financial eXpert
Wilmore Unduntingiminen.
Dethklok is acting as their
own management and the limits
of their financial ruin
are endless.
And then there's this man.
Damien Cornickleson,
heir apparent to
Crystal Mountain Records...
currently run by his well
respected and terminally ill
father Roy Cornickleson.
But what label owner in their
right mind would devour
their most profitable entity?
Damien is
a record eXecutive...
a cunning hotheaded opportunist.
Don't you see, they thrive
on misleading, tricking
and ensnaring.
They're like feral animals,
rabid dogs thinking only
of what will benefit them
in the moment.
And since Dethklok is already
making bad decisions.
EXactly.
Why not make one more that could
end up being their undoing?
He is indeed a dangerous man.
our record's selling really
well, at least that's what
it says on the news.
So why should we renegotiate?
Yeah!
Why ams we recongotinates?
We know your that your most
eXpensive concert ever is
coming up and if we don't
hear the answer that we want,
we have the right
to shut down the event.
It's all in the contract
we're faXing you.
But wes already spents our
monies on de concert!!!
Dats the only ways we gets it
back!
That's right.
I'll pull the plug on your show
and you'll never make your
money back.
You'll be doomed.
Renegotiate.
Dude this thing is fuck'd.
It's totally cluttered
with addendums and appendiXes
and stuff like that.
But what does it mean?
I think it means that this
slick asshole is trying
to fuck us.
We should get some help
with this.
You know how bad that would
Iook?
We're supposed to be our own
management and legal consult.
It's like admitting failure.
Wait, I totally know
where to go.
Come on.
Listen, I know you guys are
regular dildos and stuff
but you sell records, so this
shit should make sense
to your fuckin' ass right?
Yeah it should.
She's not answering.
Let me try to talk to her.
So does this make any sense
to you?
Uhhhhh.
My managers not in now.
No but.
You. You.
Do you know what
these words mean?
Uhh, "eXclusivity"?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here we go, here we go.
Uhh, cross recoupment?
Here we go.
I toId ya.
My manager isn't here today.
okay gimme that back!
This is a waste of time.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The store is closing
in 5 minutes.
It's closing forever
because it's a record store.
And, they're all closing.
I wanna thank all the employees
for sticking around and
sticking it through the tough
times.
So enjoy illegally downloading
all your mp3's online.
Hey guys I just thoughts
about somethings.
What evers happens to
The KIokateers whos nevers gots
their paychecks?
ooh yeah?
# #
Guys.
Why are we all so dreary?
We shouldn't have to worry
about this crap.
We never have before!
We should just concentrate
on what we're good at.
Death metal and interior design!
Surprise!
Take it in!
I know, I know its supposed
to be a group effort
but Iook, check it out!
I went above and beyond.
I gotta go take a shit.
[Nathan groaning]
[Groans]
Whoaaa!
[Nathan shudders]
Let's see how much this
thing cost.
Guys I've been crunching
numbers and financially,
I don't know how to say this,
but we're fuck'd.
Thanks to Murderface's
sandscape we're in the red.
Good one, Murderface.
The only way we're gonna
make money back is if this
concert is successful.
And until then, we're really
gonna have to cut down
on spending.
oh guys, we can't eats here,
dis ams too eXpensive.
Now where are we gonna eat
for restaurant night?
This is the only restaurant
I think we can afford now.
I didn't realize that 7-11
was a restaurant.
Listen.
The construction has stopped.
Dats because they don'ts
gets paid, stupid.
ow!
Guys, start turning
the couches over.
We gotta find some Ioose change
for some fuckin' hamburgers.
We're live tonight in Monaco
eagerly awaiting night
soId out record setting
biggest most elaborate most
eXpensive concert ever.
Quite a feat in this
economic climate.
This is also the first show
Dethklok has ever done without
the aid of their manager/lawyer
CFo Charles offdensen.
Look guys, tonight's the only
night that we can really make
back the money that we spent
while we were acting like
assholes as managers.
And I know the label has
been threatening to shut this
thing down so they can force us
to renegotiate.
I think we just got to play this
concert and call their bluff.
So uh, let's just play
and hope for the best.
Go get em' guys.
Yeek.
Shitty speech, I'm sorry.
Go, uh...
Nathan?
Just stop talking.
Just stop talking.
# #
# #
We're here tonight to take
all money and fuckin' destroy it.
It will rain worthless blood
money onto your putrid souls.
Tonight we will watch money
commit suicide.
[Angry screams]
What's going on out there?
The label shut us down.
What are we gonna to do?
You boys got a show to do.
Don't worry, I'll be right here
when you're done.
I'm going to have a little
meeting with these guys.
# #
# #
[indistinct]
# #
We thought you were dead.
You're right, Nathan.
I was dead.
I made sure that I was
pronounced dead on the premises.
Where were you for the last
nine months?
I can't tell you now.
But when the time is right,
I will.
There's something much bigger
than us going on out there.
But that's a story for later.
In the meantime
we got some work to do.
business with you
and Dethklok, Charles.
Well Roy, the way this band
has been doing I think
we'll all become very wealthy.
It's all quite metal.
What's that, uh, sound?
oh.
Hey, where's all the fucking
naked sluts?
Dad, your stupid whore
secretary toId me that you
"weren't to be bothered."
I toId her to go
fuck herself.
And then I slapped her.
Now I need some money.
Now!
I'm sorry gentlemen.
This is my son Damien.
Damien!
This is a private meeting!
You should be back
at recording industry coIlege!
Fuck that stupid shit.
I'll be running this place
anyway since you don't know
what the fuck you're doing.
Look.
You'll just let anybody in here!
Ha. Look at this Iong haired
monkey.
What kind of music do you play?
Death metal.
You motherfucker.
Maybe it's best we all
cooI down, huh?
You'll be sorry for that,
you son of a bitch!
I'll never fucking forget
you did this!
Sorry, uh... again.
What do I tell you guys before
every meeting?
Try not to punch people.
Try not to punch people.
That's correct.
What do you eXpect from us?
These meetings are sooo boring.
We don't care about them.
You should care, William.
Let me just say this
to everybody.
Pay attention to this
contractual stuff because, uh,
what if i'm not around
in the future?
God it's loud!
Shut up with the fucking
construction, man!
Can you guys see that hungover
people are trying to sleep?
How the fuck can people
listen to that racket?
# [Death metal plays] #
There. That's better.
What's up bro!??!
Who the fuck are you?
I'm some dude!
I snuck in.
How is that possible?
I just snuck into your trunk
last night!
You guys were pretty hammered!!
Whose in charge of fucking
security now?
Dude you're my favorite
singer!
You gotta leave a message on
my cell phone!
Ugh.
Weird dude in my bedroom.
This doesn't Iook good.
[Jackhammer]
oh, good mornins!
Nice of yous twos to join us!
Dudes, when the fuck is
this place gonna be
fuckin' finished?
I need to be able to
start sleeping again!
Well, we're almost done
now that we've picked the most
beautiful and elegant
interior designer in the whole
world.
Who is that dildo?!!!
Some guy who snuck right in!
oh. Murderface, don't.
Don't do that.
ow! ow! Stop!
Fuck you lady!
You're fired!!!
Get out of here!
I'm sorry it didn't work out
you know.
Call me if you want to hang,
you know what I'm saying.
or whatever.
You, weirdo.
There's the door.
Get the fuck out of here
and uh, thanks uh, for
buying our records.
My friends are never gonna
believe me!
See you guys later!
ALLh
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
ToKlh
oh nooooos!!
Not agains!!!!
PICKLESh
we keep forgetting
that we're up here!!!
SKWISGAARh
Until renovations
ams finished at least.
NATHANh
Guys, we don't have
a manager now so all the stupid
fuckin' shit is up to us.
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Doodily ding dong
tick-tock #
# Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok!
Dethklok! #
# I'II... teach you...
to... rock... #
# Dethklok, Dethklok #
# Skwisgaar Skwigelf,
taller than a tree #
# Toki Wartooth,
not a bumblebee #
# William Murderface
Murderface Murderface #
# Pickles the drummer
doodily doo #
ding dong doodily
doodily doo #
# Nathan EXplosion #
Dethklok in a press
conference recently announced
plans for their first live show
since its attack, giving
a much-needed boost
to the world's economy.
We know that the world is
going through a tough time
right now economically.
And we see a Iot
of businesses scaling down.
But not us.
We're going to put on
the biggest, most eXpensive
elaborate live show
that's ever been done.
We're gonna make
spending money metal.
Check it out!
We made solid crystal posters
and they're not even for sale!
Tickets are pentouple price!
There's no recession for metal!
The recession is
an asshole!
And with the untimely death
of their manager,
how will Dethklok continue to
organize their multi krillion
doIlar business?
We're not hiring
a replacement manager.
Too fuckin' soon Kimosabe.
We're taking on
all management, uh, thingies.
I ams in charge
of Financials Treasuries.
I am head of Financial
Business Affairs.
I'm chief of
Financial Receipts.
Gathering.
Deputy President of
Financial Monies.
I'ms in charge of snacks.
Fuckin' bullshit.
Aren't you frightened of
mismanaging this band?
Charles offdensen was considered
by many a financial genius.
What are your credentials?
Fuck you!
That's my credentials!
We know what we're fuckin'
doing, as...
and with Dethklok in charge
of their finances, how will
they controI their spending?
Receipts have been submitted to
the media that show billions of
doIlars squandered
on vanity projects.
Fifteen million doIlars was
spent on Dethklok kitty shades,
sunglasses for cats.
Twenty million was spent on
the "super tits candy snake
project," which was never
completed or defined.
And finally, $85.5 million was
spent converting 90 acres of
land and corn silos into "CooI
Ranch Dorito" dispensers.
[Cheering]
Welcome to Dethklok's
Dorito Land!
[Electricity buzzing,
people screaming]
I'd like to remind you all
that Dorito Land is not open
to the public.
It's just for us.
Sorry.
Which brings us to now.
With the economic world in fluX,
Dethklok has cancelled all
interviews to work on
"more important issues."
Guys, ever since Murderface
harassed that other interior
designer and she fell out
of our house, it made me think-
we got to be
the interior designers of
Mordhaus.
All it is is making decisions.
I'll make a decision right now,
check this out.
I decided to slice it.
So then what are we going
to do about the living room?
That's the most important
decision because that's the room
that everybody shares.
Am I right?
Yeah, you're right.
Guys, wait! I've got it!
I got it!
A sandscape!
A big badass indoor
desert scene.
- Sandscape right here!
- No!
Living room is going to be
- a badass Arizona style.
- No way!
- Tucson!
- Fuck no!
Scottsdale!
Right here man!
You know how I feel
about sand!
But it's an escape!
I hate this idea!
Real cactus,
real tumbleweeds, real snakes!
Huh?
Jackrabbit!
Where's Toki? He'd Iove that!
Where is he?
Sand will get everywhere,
Murderface.
Vacuum. No problem.
oh yeah, like that won't be
a fuckin' nightmare.
oh, uh, guess I'm gonna
leave the room.
Guess I'll vacuum my stupid
fuckin' shoes again.
Tucson!
Scottsdale!
Ugh.
Do you know what goes into
making a house a home?
Fuckin' bad-ass concert
lighting.
I'll show you.
Uh Toki.
You're supposed to be making
snacks.
And all I'm smelling is
burning plastic.
And you know that burning
plastic isn't snacks.
I mean, Toki?
Are you listening to me?
I misses hims Pickle.
We all do.
Even though we don't say it.
Why don't we says it, Pickle?
Toki...
[sighs]
Because admitting sadness
makes you gay.
I feel we're taking Dethklok
and managing it
right downs the crapper.
Toki. okay, listen.
You're in charge of snacks.
And judging by your snack...
[Nathan screaming]
Ams dat Nathans screamins?
Alright check this out.
It's scream activated lighting.
Whaaaaaa!!!!!
See? You come home it's dark.
Where are my keys?
Whaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
over there.
Put it in every single room of
the house.
I'm afraid that's going to
cost an awful Iot of money
I'm just telling you.
Fuck money!
ALLh
Fuck money!
Dis is my platinums practice
chambers.
I has a solid ruby metronome.
And a champagne humidifier.
So fuckin' eXpensive dat
it makes me horny.
This is my endangered species
furniture room.
Seriously guys.
Fuck money.
My Lords may I please speak
with you about a personal
financial matter?
What? Go! Talk!
Masters our paychecks are not
being honored at the bank.
ohhhhhhh.
Uhhh, lets see.
That's weird.
Yes sire. It bounced.
Guys if their money's fuck'd
then our could be too!
We gotta find out what's
going on with our money!
You'll be sorry for that,
you son of a bitch!
I'll never fuckin' forget
you did this!
Since my poor father has been
ill it's been my personal task
to clean this company up.
Which brings me to Dethklok.
Dethklok is finally
in a vulnerable position.
And they're getting no more of
the label money until they
renegotiate the terms
that we think are fair.
And if they don't.
They'll be sorry.
NATHANh
Guys, uh I just
checked all of our accounts
and uh,
no money is coming in.
What the fuck is
going on here?
SKWISGAARh
Uh, Williams?
Did you pay the electrics bill?
MURDERFACEh
uh, what am I
gonna pay it with?
My farts?
[Creaking]
ALLh
[screaming]
REPoRTERh
This is the footage
that caught the world's
attention.
Dethklok literally plummeting
both financially and actually.
Hopefully this hiccup
won't affect Dethklok's
"most eXpensive concert ever."
Gentlemen, for the first time
Dethklok could be
in grave financial peril.
Vader orlag?
Dethklok Iost a truly
important part of their empire.
This man.
With him gone Dethklok hasn't
the capabilities to make
educated business decisions
and in the meantime they're
squandering billions.
Here to eXplain more about
Dethklok's financial problems is
Dethklok financial eXpert
Wilmore Unduntingiminen.
Dethklok is acting as their
own management and the limits
of their financial ruin
are endless.
And then there's this man.
Damien Cornickleson,
heir apparent to
Crystal Mountain Records...
currently run by his well
respected and terminally ill
father Roy Cornickleson.
But what label owner in their
right mind would devour
their most profitable entity?
Damien is
a record eXecutive...
a cunning hotheaded opportunist.
Don't you see, they thrive
on misleading, tricking
and ensnaring.
They're like feral animals,
rabid dogs thinking only
of what will benefit them
in the moment.
And since Dethklok is already
making bad decisions.
EXactly.
Why not make one more that could
end up being their undoing?
He is indeed a dangerous man.
our record's selling really
well, at least that's what
it says on the news.
So why should we renegotiate?
Yeah!
Why ams we recongotinates?
We know your that your most
eXpensive concert ever is
coming up and if we don't
hear the answer that we want,
we have the right
to shut down the event.
It's all in the contract
we're faXing you.
But wes already spents our
monies on de concert!!!
Dats the only ways we gets it
back!
That's right.
I'll pull the plug on your show
and you'll never make your
money back.
You'll be doomed.
Renegotiate.
Dude this thing is fuck'd.
It's totally cluttered
with addendums and appendiXes
and stuff like that.
But what does it mean?
I think it means that this
slick asshole is trying
to fuck us.
We should get some help
with this.
You know how bad that would
Iook?
We're supposed to be our own
management and legal consult.
It's like admitting failure.
Wait, I totally know
where to go.
Come on.
Listen, I know you guys are
regular dildos and stuff
but you sell records, so this
shit should make sense
to your fuckin' ass right?
Yeah it should.
She's not answering.
Let me try to talk to her.
So does this make any sense
to you?
Uhhhhh.
My managers not in now.
No but.
You. You.
Do you know what
these words mean?
Uhh, "eXclusivity"?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here we go, here we go.
Uhh, cross recoupment?
Here we go.
I toId ya.
My manager isn't here today.
okay gimme that back!
This is a waste of time.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The store is closing
in 5 minutes.
It's closing forever
because it's a record store.
And, they're all closing.
I wanna thank all the employees
for sticking around and
sticking it through the tough
times.
So enjoy illegally downloading
all your mp3's online.
Hey guys I just thoughts
about somethings.
What evers happens to
The KIokateers whos nevers gots
their paychecks?
ooh yeah?
# #
Guys.
Why are we all so dreary?
We shouldn't have to worry
about this crap.
We never have before!
We should just concentrate
on what we're good at.
Death metal and interior design!
Surprise!
Take it in!
I know, I know its supposed
to be a group effort
but Iook, check it out!
I went above and beyond.
I gotta go take a shit.
[Nathan groaning]
[Groans]
Whoaaa!
[Nathan shudders]
Let's see how much this
thing cost.
Guys I've been crunching
numbers and financially,
I don't know how to say this,
but we're fuck'd.
Thanks to Murderface's
sandscape we're in the red.
Good one, Murderface.
The only way we're gonna
make money back is if this
concert is successful.
And until then, we're really
gonna have to cut down
on spending.
oh guys, we can't eats here,
dis ams too eXpensive.
Now where are we gonna eat
for restaurant night?
This is the only restaurant
I think we can afford now.
I didn't realize that 7-11
was a restaurant.
Listen.
The construction has stopped.
Dats because they don'ts
gets paid, stupid.
ow!
Guys, start turning
the couches over.
We gotta find some Ioose change
for some fuckin' hamburgers.
We're live tonight in Monaco
eagerly awaiting night
soId out record setting
biggest most elaborate most
eXpensive concert ever.
Quite a feat in this
economic climate.
This is also the first show
Dethklok has ever done without
the aid of their manager/lawyer
CFo Charles offdensen.
Look guys, tonight's the only
night that we can really make
back the money that we spent
while we were acting like
assholes as managers.
And I know the label has
been threatening to shut this
thing down so they can force us
to renegotiate.
I think we just got to play this
concert and call their bluff.
So uh, let's just play
and hope for the best.
Go get em' guys.
Yeek.
Shitty speech, I'm sorry.
Go, uh...
Nathan?
Just stop talking.
Just stop talking.
# #
# #
We're here tonight to take
all money and fuckin' destroy it.
It will rain worthless blood
money onto your putrid souls.
Tonight we will watch money
commit suicide.
[Angry screams]
What's going on out there?
The label shut us down.
What are we gonna to do?
You boys got a show to do.
Don't worry, I'll be right here
when you're done.
I'm going to have a little
meeting with these guys.
# #
# #
[indistinct]
# #
We thought you were dead.
You're right, Nathan.
I was dead.
I made sure that I was
pronounced dead on the premises.
Where were you for the last
nine months?
I can't tell you now.
But when the time is right,
I will.
There's something much bigger
than us going on out there.
But that's a story for later.
In the meantime
we got some work to do.