Meningen med livet (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Everybody Pees Themselves Sometimes - full transcript

Yes, I know.

You think everyone loves you.

No one loves you. Not really.

Nobody cares.

I think everyone would
fucking celebrate your death.

Eat your fucking pellets then!

THE MEANING OF LIFE

EVERYONE PEES THEIR PANTS SOMETIMES

- Darling.
- Mm?

How about going home
and having sex instead?

What?



I just mean, you don't have to go
to this thing if you don't want to.

Well, it would be really
weird if I didn't go.

It would be a statement.

And I'm already here,
buying a present.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Point of no return.

Yeah.

- Pretty much.
- Yeah.

- Did you find something nice?
- Yes, something lovely.

- Good.
- Wrapped, please.

Come on, darling.
Let's just change it.

- You have to change your jumper.
- I don't want to!

- Yes, it's covered in ketchup.
- Give me that!

- Give me the iPad!
- You'll get another top.



- Guys!
- Can you take over? I have to go.

- What? Where?
- Mum will do it. I have to work.

- On Saturday? You didn't tell me.
- Yes, I did.

The system has crashed,
so we have to get it back up...

- I don't want to.
- Yes, come on.

Oh, I fed Hubbe by the way.

- Oh, great.
- Yes.

It was your turn. Again.

Yes, damn, sorry.
I'll do it next time.

- Good.
- Okay, have a nice day!

- Where are my sneakers?
- Thanks.

- I'll come home as soon as I can.
- No.

Put them on, we have to go.

- I can't deal with this.
- Here, sweetie.

- Hi! How are you?
- Hey, Alva!

Thanks for coming! I'm great.

Great, you look lovely.

- What a bump, and...
- Thanks.

- Oh, how lovely.
- Yeah.

Thank you so much, Alva.
It's beautiful.

And the perfect size as well, 3-6.

I've got almost nothing
in that size.

We bought a bit too much
of the others.

But come in!

- Uh, sure!
- Want some coffee?

- Hi! Sara's here too, hey.
- Hi!

- It's been ages!
- It looks so nice!

- Here's a coffee.
- How are you?

I'm good. How about you?

I'm good. Don't you live with...

- With Nico, yes.
- Yes, that's right.

Yes, the police.

We've actually just
moved to Aspudden.

Oh, how lovely.
It's such a nice part of town.

- Yes, It is.
- Yes. And it's so child-friendly.

There's a great playgroup there

someone in my first mothers
group used to go to.

Um... But I have no idea
what it's called.

Breastfeeding brain, you know.

Yeah. There's no tearing hurry,
but that's good to know.

Pass to him.

Switch, Jonathan.

Hi!

Hi.

Isak's Mum. Gina.

Oh, of course, hi.

Well... Who would have thought,

ten years ago, that we'd be
standing here every weekend?

- Right?
- Yeah.

- Crazy.
- Yeah.

We should bring alcohol next time.

Hey...

I'm joking.

Nice one, Isak!

Well done, boys!

Good work, Jack!

Nice. Hold your positions!

Oh, that's great.

God, it's so nice
when they can eat by themselves.

You can just freeze
different kinds of purés.

- Ah, I know!
- It's really smart, honestly.

So... Here are some cupcakes.

- And some fresh coffee.
- Help yourselves.

- Would you like a hold?
- Sure.

- There.
- Hey.

- Hey, cutie.
- He likes you!

- Oh, that's nice.
- Isn't that right, Melvin?

- Look!
- Hey.

Are you clucky?

- Yeah, it makes you a bit clucky.
- When will you go for it?

It's not really as easy as just
going for it for everyone, but...

But my best advice is
to just take it easy and relax.

Don't think about it, and
it'll happen by itself, I promise.

Like, I know several couples,
really, several couples,

who tried for years.

You know, ovulation tests, IVF...
you name it.

Nothing helped.

But as soon as they just gave up,
decided to adopt,

- that's when they got pregnant.
- Really?

Yeah, anyway.

Don't think about it
and it'll happen.

God, what good advice. Thank you.

Imagine if I'd known,
these last few years.

That all I have to do is just relax.

I think we should tell
starving people too,

to just not think about it.

That unpleasant feeling
in your stomach, just forget it.

- Makes it all better.
- Sorry, that's not what I meant.

Well, I'm going to go home
and relax.

It'll be so nice.

You were right,
I shouldn't have gone.

Why? What happened?

They had these cupcakes.

Yuck!

Yeah, with pink and blue icing.

Bloody hell.

Yeah, it'll probably be awhile
before I see them again.

Well... if I ever see them again.

Forget them.

You can hang out
with me instead.

- Yeah, I can.
- Your pizzas are ready.

A Hawaiian and a capricciosa.
There you go.

- Awesome.
- Thanks.

- Great, thanks.
- Bon appetit, come again.

- Yeah, see you. Have a good weekend.
- Bye, same to you.

...you can choose from the menu.

Capricciosa, carbonara,
vesuvio, margherita...

Yeah, but they're not...
They're not pizzas.

Okay... then what are they then?

- Hi, there.
- Hi, there.

Are you... Have you moved...

- Yes.
- Oh, nice. We live right above you.

- The new neighbours.
- Ah, the neighbours. Nice.

- Hey, Alva.
- Dimitri.

- Andrea.
- Hey, Nico.

- Nice to finally meet you.
- Yeah, hey.

Hey. Welcome.

A grumpy couple
lived there before you,

so we're really happy
to have new neighbours.

They were totally crazy.
The tiniest noise

they'd bang on the ceiling with,
like, a battering ram.

Yeah. A bit special...

We don't have one of those, but...

You can be a bit loud at times
when you get going.

- We're going to have some food.
- Yeah, see you.

- Nice to meet you!
- Welcome. Bye, guys.

- Bye.
- See ya. Bye.

- Well. They seem super nice.
- Don't they?

Double dates, coming up!

The party leader said that women...

Mum, can I have a sandwich?

Yeah...
Actually no, we're about to eat.

Okay.

Oh, what's this?

A school portrait.

Oh. How nice! "My family."

- Is it us?
- Yeah.

- MY FAMILY
- It says what you're good at.

Ah, Dad, "Good at video games,
can juggle with five balls."

What have you written for me?

"Nice"...

"Cooks food"...

- Right, that's good.
- Mm.

Well, we're eating now,
put this away.

Okay.

"Cooks food."

Not even "good food", just "food".

And "nice"...

That's not even true,
I'm not that nice, am I?

You're super nice.

You cook amazing food.

- You do.
- No...

Sometimes you cook delicious food.

You just do.

What else, then?

- What do you mean?
- Well, what else?

You're... attractive.

You're sexy.

You're hot. Hot stuff.

But, but... Wait.

I mean my personality.

How would you describe me
to a colleague?

What? Why are you sighing?

No, I'm thinking.

I... Think of it this way,
how would you describe yourself?

What the hell?!

And the worst part? That I didn't
even know how I'd describe myself.

My head was totally empty.

I just looked at him.

You know what? I am nobody.

Have you finally realised
you're nobody?

Hello? We're here.

Have you got everything?

- Bye, sweetie pie.
- Bye, sweetie pie.

See you later, Jack.

Bye, Jack.

Bye!

Hey! Look, there's Faduma.

Have the best day ever.

- I'll get her at the regular time.
- Yeah, sounds good. Hey, Nora!

What if I become like Veronica?

- Who?
- A colleague...

She died last week,

yeah, out of nowhere,
from a cerebral haemorrhage.

Oh, God, how awful.

And the worst thing was that I had
no idea really, who she was.

I had to look her up
on the intranet,

to be sure it was her.

And we'd worked together
in the finance department,

for like seven years.

What if that happens to me?

I mean, if I die now.

And nobody really knows me.

Not even me.

On my tombstone, it'll just say,
"Nice. Cooked food."

Well, it's not that strange
you don't know who you are,

or what you like,
or what you like to do.

I mean, you haven't even thought
about it for several hundred years.

Am I old, too, now?
Is that what you're saying?

Well, I remember you liked those
guys in New Kids On The Block

and you were in love
with the ugly one.

- That can be on your tombstone.
- He wasn't ugly.

- You just have bad taste.
- He was pretty ugly.

No, he wasn't the ugly one.

The one you liked was the ugly one.

Sorry, but maybe we can head off...

- Yes! Oh, God, is it today?
- Mm.

Sorry, how are you feeling?

Well, everything's fine, but...

Should I drop you off at the subway?

- Yes, please.
- Uh, okay.

I'll send you money
for Dad's present later too.

You bought it, right?

Uh... No, I'll do it this afternoon.

PERSONAL CAPITAL
TOTAL UNTAXED RESERVES

UNTAXED RESERVES

TOTAL PROVISIONS
PROVISIONS TOTAL LONG TERM DEBT

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

Okay, do I look like someone
who can look after a child?

What?

Or would they look at me
and think I'm the kind of person

who would leave children
in the car on a hot summer day?

Come on!

Damn, I think my hair is greasy too.

Stop it,
what are you going on about?

You're beautiful.
And we're not meeting a jury.

Yeah, but...

If they think we're
lovely and responsible,

they'll unconsciously
go to a bit more effort.

- We are lovely and responsible.
- Mm.

Yes. So there's no problem.

So slow...

What the hell, we haven't even
pressed the button. Seriously?

Yes, so three tries
are covered by healthcare.

If, after that,
you want to keep trying,

you'll have to pay for it.

Okay, and what does it cost?

It varies a bit,
but around 30,000 per try.

Well, that's no... We both have...

Both Nico and I have secure incomes,
so it's no...

Like, it's... stable.

It's a stable situation, so.

Uh, when you're working...

Nico, he's a police,
when he's working.

- Oh, good.
- Mm.

I know it's easy to be nervous
in your situation.

But the actual process
can be quite stressful,

both physically and psychologically.

So there's a psychologist
specialising in infertility

connected to us, if need be.

- Okay.
- And how common is it,

that people need to
use those services?

Well, it's not uncommon.

Many find the uncertainty stressful.

And along with the treatment,

with the interventions
and hormones and such,

it can wear on you,
both as a person and as a couple.

We understand, it's great there's
so much support. That's fantastic.

I feel like it's...

it's also not the only chance
we'll get to have a family.

Like, you can...

We can try this, if it doesn't work,
we can always adopt, for example.

- Absolutely.
- That's a possibility.

If you have any questions about
the treatment itself, get in touch.

Otherwise, you can start
with the injections tonight.

- Sure.
- Mm.

- And take that.
- Yes, I will.

- Can I take these, too?
- Take them and read through them.

We'll book another time.
Good luck, I'll see you soon.

Yes.

What do you mean, adopt?
Don't you believe this will work?

Yes, of course I do.
I really believe it will work.

I just wanted to remove the stress
around the situation,

that it has to work out.

A family can look a thousand
different ways, it's not just genes.

Right?

And I wanted you to, like...

stop stressing and to just relax
about the whole situation.

Everyone's going on about
how I shouldn't stress or care

and that I should relax
all the time.

All that implies is that it's my own
fault if it doesn't work!

It's a fucking double punishment,
don't you get it?

And it seems like everyone thinks
the best way to get pregnant

is to just forget IVF
and go straight to adoption.

Maybe that's how these clinics
should look,

women just laying on the floor,
given up, and then poof!

Two years later, we're all pregnant.

Woohoo!

Wait. I'm coming. Wait.

EXAMINE YOUR LIFE, THINK
ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT AND DON'T WANT

YOU'RE A PEARL

- Hello!
- Hey.

What the...

- What's going on...
- I'm just going through some things.

- All this is going to be thrown out.
- You've gone through quite a lot.

Yes, I felt like I...

Well, that it was necessary.

You need to get rid of stuff
that steals your energy,

I read that everywhere.

- Oh?
- Mm.

Right. But I feel like this...

I feel that this gives me
a fair bit of energy.

- Yeah? Well, keep it then.
- Yeah...

Thanks.

Hey, what the hell?
Is this my bread?

Yes, we can't keep it.

I'm still gluten-intolerant.

Yes, I'm sorry, but it's too
depressing, it has to go.

Darling, what the hell...?

What's really going on here?

What do you mean?
I'm just going through some stuff.

Seriously, what is this?

Okay...

I feel... a bit...

like I'm suffocating.

By my bread?

Yes.

Right.

But maybe also...

by the kids.

It feels like they've made me
completely lose who I am.

- Okay.
- It's like I've gotten stuck.

As a person.

Mm...

Everyone feels like that sometimes?
You do too, right?

God, of course.

- Really?
- They're incredibly annoying.

- Yeah, truly.
- Yeah.

You can't get anything done,
that's just how it is.

- That's just how it is.
- I know.

- But suffocated?
- Mm.

No... I don't know.

Enriched, actually, I'd say.

Or like you feel like you find
new sides of yourself

that you like better.

Yeah...

- But hey. I'm keeping this.
- Okay.

But you've done a great job sorting
through all this. It's fantastic.

My God, everyone's so late.

Where's Nico?

He had to cover a colleague
who was home with a sick kid.

Home with a sick kid?

Right, let's home the criminals are
home with their sick kids too, then.

- Will you sort out the Champagne?
- Sure, Grandma.

Your dad will be here soon,
everything has to be ready.

How did it go at the clinic?

Well, the meeting went okay,
I guess. But...

the whole thing seems awful.

You have to see a doctor constantly,

inject a bunch of hormones
that apparently make you crazy,

according to parenting forums.

Then it doesn't work anyway
because you want it too much.

So I don't know.

Maybe it isn't worth it.

Maybe we should just forget it.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Maybe it's not worth it.

What? What do you mean?

It's such a high price to pay.

Imagine that you take everything
you like about yourself,

and shrink it down
to like two per cent,

and then you take the worst of
yourself

and raise it to like 80 per cent.

There's your new personality.

It's not fun.

Your dad's coming!

- Oh! Good choice, Alva.
- Yeah...

Aren't you coming?

Yeah, we're coming.

- He's coming!
- Shh.

- Yay!
- Hey!

What! What's all this?

How lovely, thank you!

Congratulations
on your retirement, Dad!

- Thanks!
- Mum says hi.

- Say hi back.
- Cheers, my son.

- Cheers.
- I think we should all go in

- and sit down at the table.
- Yeah.

So, my son. How does it feel
to be out of God's claws?

Well, that's not really
how I see it, as you know.

One is a priest
for one's whole life,

even if I've formally
become a retiree.

Retiree... Surely you don't
call yourself that?

Makes it sound like you've given up.

Like you don't want anything
anymore, stopped being a human,

- stopped being interested.
- Don't worry about the vegetables,

- just eat the potatoes.
- Then you might as well die. No.

I'd never in my life dream of
talking about myself

as someone who's
gone into retirement.

No, I understand.

That would require you to have
worked a day in your life, right?

- Yes?
- Truly.

Oh!

Darling, why didn't you
say anything?

It's okay, sweetie. Come on.

My men worked for me instead.

Alex, can you bring a change?

I can truly recommend it.

Yeah, I just don't know
where you put the bag.

- No, I want...
- I can't find it, come here.

I have to look after Nora.

I don't know where you put it.

We can't wait any longer,
we have to start eating.

- I don't know...
- Can't you do anything?

I didn't bring the bag,
so the bag isn't here.

I'll go with you, come here.

- Thanks, Alva.
- Well...

What the hell?

I'll give you a hand.

Okay... I want Mum.

Well, we'll start here for now.

You know what?

- No.
- I've wet my pants before.

- You have?
- Yes, it's true.

It was at the theme park
last summer.

I was on the Free Fall.

Hold on so your dress
doesn't get wet.

Should I take that bouncy ball?

Yes, anyway.

So, I'd been in line for ages
and I really needed to pee.

And I went on it anyway.

So, when we were right a the top,
we were there for awhile.

And, all of a sudden, just...

I peed myself.

Why should I dress the kids
and remember everything

and feed Hubbe every fucking time?

Well, you don't feed him
every single time.

But, okay,
let's make a schedule, then.

No, we're not making a schedule.
You can fucking think of...

I'm so fucking tired of having to
see everything all the time.

- I just want you to...
- If you see it,

you can tell me what to do.

Like everyone you know
has peed their pants.

There. It's totally normal.

- Don't forget to brush your teeth.
- Okay.

You too.

Hey.

Are they asleep?

Yes.

How are you doing?

I...

I quit.

Okay.

What do you mean, "quit"?

- I'm quitting.
- Quitting what? What do you mean?

This. Everything.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Do you mean us?
What do you mean?

I don't know.

You don't know?

No, I don't know.

Okay.

- Hey, darling.
- Hey.

Mm, I miss you.

I miss you too.
What are you doing?

Uh, no, I'm just home
watching "Master Chef".

Me too.

Someone's died here, and...

We're waiting for them
to collect the body,

but they're taking their time, so...

I might get to see who has to leave.

Mhm...

Hey, I can't...

go round pretending like I...

Well, like I don't want it.

I understand. I really do.

I'm just so fucking...

scared.

But like, what I said before, it...
it came out wrong.

I really didn't mean that...

You know I believe in this.

Like, I believe...

I want it and I believe in it
100 per cent.

And I just... It'll work out.

Okay.

We're doing it.

- Yeah.
- Good.

See you later, then.

- Yeah, see you.
- Love you.

Love you.

Subtitles: Lily Ray