Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 5, Episode 5 - Un-Janed Melody - full transcript

After Jane inadvertently torches Alison's new apartment, she slowly goes crazy and begins to stalk and harass both Alison and Jake. Meanwhile, Amanda is in Santa Barbara on her honeymoon with Peter, while Taylor continues to peruse him. At D&D, Arthur Field, the ruthless chairman of the board, hires his equally ruthless son, Craig, as a junior associate and puts Billy in charge of showing him around. Michael becomes frustrated after Kimberly won't return his sexual advances. Sydney meets Kyle for the first time and then some. Also, Matt is committed to a rehab center and meets the owner Dr. Dan Hathaway, a former drug addict himself.

Don't open that door.

Put a towel
underneath it.

Do you have a key
or a crank for this?

No. Nobody ever
gave me anything.

What about
the bathroom window?

It's too small.

[coughing]

Look out.

Ah!

We're going to have
to go for it.

The fire's there!



I'll call 9-1-1.

Oh, God.

Hi! Hello. Um... um...

My apartment's on fire.

My name's Alison Parker.

Come on, hurry!

Oh, my God,
hurry!

[all coughing]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

God! Thank God you
were still here.

Alison?

Yeah, I'm okay,
I think.

It all happened
so fast.



Oh, God,
I couldn't breathe.

It felt like
I was dying.

It's all right.

[coughing]

I think we ought to take
you to the hospital.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[man laughs]

♪ They'll tell you
there's no reason ♪

♪ But I say one day
it'll all make sense ♪

♪ All that you've been craving ♪

♪ Will put you on the other side
of the fence ♪

♪ It's natural and pure ♪

♪ And no one else
could continue for ♪

♪ It's not a smile from a box
or hair from a bottled rocket ♪

♪ You got inside it's gonna take
you full throttle ♪

♪ I tried not
to think about it ♪

♪ Although some let me down ♪

♪ I tried
not to have... ♪

♪ Makes my stomach spin around ♪

♪ If you wait
for something wrong... ♪♪

Michael, I really appreciate
you bailing me out.

I can't believe
I came.

I should've let you
rot in jail.

Where do you get off?
Right here, Matt.
I get off right here.

Michael, wait--

You made your bed.
Now sleep in it, pal.

Michael, look...
I got busted last night
for picking up a hustler.

I was so stoned,
I don't even remember it.

All right?
I have hit bottom.

I need your help.

Help me.

Okay... but we're
doing this my way
now, you hear me?

Yeah, I do.

This time I do.

Okay. Let's go.

Jane, what happened?

Oh, my God, Jane,
are you okay?

What a streak
of bad luck
you're having.

Fires are
so dangerous.

I took
fire safety once.

Check your nose hairs,
see if they're singed

because your lungs
could be damaged.

I'm fine.
I just called

because I
needed a ride
back to my car.

It's still parked
in front of Alison's.

What were you doing
at Alison's?

What are you
doing here?
I called Sam.

Who had the sense
to call me, your
nearest blood relative

in case I had to donate one
of your organs or something.

Besides, I would've driven
you to your car

without a lecture
about nose hairs.

Let's get out
of here, okay?

How are Jake
and Alison?

Yeah, how
are they doing?

Maybe we should
check on them.

Why don't you check
on them, Sam?

I'll drive Jane
to her car.

Okay. Go on down.

Jane, it's weird,
it's really weird.

Just tell me you had
nothing to do with this.

What are you
talking about?

I just happened
to be there.

It's like Sam said--

I'm having a case
of bad luck.

As long as you're not
having a crime spree.

Look, I know all about
Jake and Alison,

and I can understand
you being angry--

I'm not angry.
I didn't do
anything.

I mean, after you
kill your partner,

and he's not dead,
and you have to
kill him again,

arson could seem
like a cakewalk.

Syd, just take me
to my car, okay?

Thank you.

Okay, just promise,
promise, promise me
this is not a getaway.

Hi. Pardon me,
could--

Hey, Samantha...
how's Alison?

I heard you tell Syd
about the fire,

but you were gone before
I could stop you.

I'm surprised to hear
you're so concerned

considering the ass you
made out of yourself
at the boutique.

I'm sorry about that.
I was a little drunk
and a little rude.

I guess when your best friend
steals your girlfriend,

you tend to react
that way.

Is that what you're
doing here right now?

I don't know what I'm
doing here, but I'm here,

so I guess somehow
I still care.

Well, blood work
and X-rays
look good.

You should both
do fine.

Thanks.

Yeah, fine, except I
was barely moved in,

and I lost everything--

my wallet, my books,
my clothes.

I don't know where
I'm going to sleep.

Hey, you're alive,
all right?

You're alive.

Thank God
Jane showed up
when she did.

Yeah. Don't you find that
kind of suspicious?

I mean, we have
this huge fight,
she takes off,

and a minute later
the building's on fire?

She saved our lives,
all right?

Come on,
let's get real.

Jake, I saw her anger.
It was real.

The cops will check out
whether the fire
was set or not.

Until then, let's
just wait and see
what happens, all right?

Kimberly,
old charts get filed
in the top drawer.

New charts in
the second one.

I'm here as a favor,
Michael, and I'm not
a moron.

Wait for the
permanent receptionist
to treat like that.

I'd rather treat
you like a wife,

but that doesn't
seem to be working
out too well.

Michael, I do--
I do want to have
sex with you.

I'm just afraid it will
open up a can of worms.

That's a pleasant image.

Far be it from me to disturb
your sexual fantasies.

Fantasies are all
I have these days...

including the one
about having a thriving
medical practice.

Where the hell
is Peter anyway?

He left a message
on the machine

that he took Amanda
to the Santa Barbara
Bayside Resort

for a delayed honeymoon.

Well, that's just great.

The guy's in jail
for weeks,

patients are
dropping us like
hot potatoes,

and he decides now
would be a good time

to take
a little holiday.

Excuse me.
Did I hear you say

that Dr. Burns
is in Santa Barbara?

For a short
conference, yes.

Did you have
an appointment, Miss...

McBride.
Taylor McBride.

I was just going
to talk to him about
a few things.

I see you're scheduled
for next week.

Is this something
that can wait?

Well, it's
waited this long.
I'm sure it'll keep.

Hi. I'm Dr. Mancini.
Is there anything I
can help you with?

No, thanks.

I'd rather come back when
Dr. Burns is available.

His bedside manner's just...
so personal.

Thanks.

Just keep your hands
firmly on your fantasies...

and mind
your bedside manner.

[Amanda]
Go on, get on the bed.

Go on!

[knock on door]

[man]
Room service.

Mm! Come in!

Forget it.

If we're going to be
in bed all weekend,

we'll need supplies.

No. Come here!

Hi.

If you'd just
sign right here,
Miss Woodward.

Uh, excuse me.

It's not
"Miss Woodward."

it's Mrs. Burns.

A credit card on check-in
said "Amanda Woodward."

Oh, really?

Well, you see,
all that's
changed now

because her
married name
is Mrs. Burns.

Well, Woodward
is my career name,

and it's done well
for me so far,

so I guess this meal
is on Miss Woodward.

Thanks.

Well,
the check may be
on Miss Woodward,

but the doctor's
on Mrs. Burns.

If you're lucky.

Peter,
are you serious?

I mean, we've
never discussed this
name-change thing.

I didn't think you
were so obsessive.

Amanda, you call yourself
anything you want...

on one condition.

What's that?

That you get
those clothes off
right now...

Mrs. Burns.

Mr. Campbell,
personal for you
from Miss Woodward.

Thanks.

"I owe you one."

Oh, excuse me,
Mr. Field.

I didn't realize
anybody was in here.

Billy, meet
my son Craig.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, I've heard
so much about you.

I wanted to introduce
Craig to Amanda.

Do you know
where she is?

She's actually
out with a client.

I was just
dropping her
a note.

Get Craig a desk
in the bullpen.

He's gonna be working here
from now on.

You teach him
what you can.

Okay.

I want him to learn
the business from
the ground up, Billy.

Familiar territory
for you, isn't it?

Just so we're clear
from the start,

I'll stay out of your way,
and I'll work really hard.

You just let me watch you,

I figure I'll probably
get a better education

than I got in 4 years
at Wharton.

Come along, Craig.
We haven't got all day.

Oh, and I don't
expect to be treated
any differently

just because I'm
the boss's son,

but I do like cream
in my coffee.

Yeah.

[loud clattering]

Baby, you're not cooking
for 2,000 marines anymore.

Don't you think it's time
you showed a little class?

That's what I married
you for, sweetheart.

Ooh, I've never felt
you so tense.

Why don't you
take a break?

Because this oven is
burning too damn hot.

Well, so am I.

Look, we did not
come out here

for you to work
yourself to death.

So why don't we take
a couple of days off?

'Cause I know exactly
what... you need.

A little after-hours
delight?

Well, actually,

I was thinking
about going to
Santa Barbara.

Santa Barbara?

Taylor, we are
opening a restaurant
in a couple of days

and nothing is ready.

Want you to taste this.

No. You know,
your sauces
are always fine.

Okay. Easy for you
to say. You're
never around.

I am always here
alone, trying to
make this stuff up.

You're never alone
for long, now,
are you, Kyle?

I thought that
was behind us.

Why are you bringing
that up now?

I don't know.
Just sharing.

Sharing?
Yeah.

Where the hell
do you think you're
going, hmm?

Santa Barbara?

Lady, you drive...
a hard bargain.

All I'm saying, Jane,
is I think Samantha
has a bad attitude.

Hey, guys.

I brought you a snack.

I know how easy it is
to forget food when you've
got so much going on.

Thanks, Sam.

No problem.

You know... I was thinking.

Wouldn't it be cool
to put the mannequins
in the store window

in classy
Old Hollywood dresses?

Kind of a throwback
to the Golden Era?

I don't know. Dumb idea?

Yes. Dumb and... wrong.

I mean, what do
you think we are,

the Hollywood
Wax Museum?

Actually,
I kind of like the idea.

Really? Great.

I saw this old red velvet
dress in a retro shop
on Third,

and if I run, I can get it
before they close.

There's money
in my purse.

I have cash. Don't worry.

You can pay me back later.
Bye.

Yeah, she just spreads
that bad attitude
all over the place.

Jane.

Hi.
Hi.
Hi.

Um... I never had
a chance to thank you

for saving us
from the fire.

Alison, are you okay?

I mean, I'm so sorry
about our quarrel.

I was actually going back
that night to apologize.

Oh, no.
I'm the one who's sorry.

No. I just want to tell you,
both of you, that I'm fine

with you two
being together now.

I mean, I'm really
okay with it.

Well, thanks.
That means a lot.

Um, listen,
I'm kind of beat.

I'm going
to turn in early.

Be there in a minute.

All right.

So you guys are
living together now?

Oh. Well, just
for the time being.

You know... the fire.
I lost everything.

Right.

Hey, why don't you
stop by the shop?

I'll lend you
a few things.

Oh, um... sure.

I'll try to stop by.
Thanks. Good night.

Jane... I didn't buy
the kissy-kissy stuff.

You're just lying in wait
to pounce on Jake, right?

Good night, Syd.

This isn't going
to work, Michael.

Well, you gotta give it
your best shot.

It's just--
it's so extreme.

I don't need
inpatient therapy.

Oh, so now that you're
out of the slammer,

you want to back out
of our deal?

I'm not backing out
of anything.

It's just I don't
consider myself
an addict.

Well, then you're
in major denial, pal.

And until you own up
to what you have in common
with the patients here,

you're never
gonna dry out.

I worked with
these people when
I was a social worker.

They're barely
functioning.

Oh, like you're really
in the driver's seat lately.

Look,
it's not only that.

If the wrong people
find out about this
at school,

my career is over.

Yeah, and so is mine
if they find out that
I covered for you

when you forged
those prescriptions.

So just stick
to the program.

We'll both be okay.

No. The 17th at Bel Air
is a lot tougher than that.

It's a dogleg
right off--

Doglegs? You ever
been to Pebble Beach?

Yeah.
The 14th, par 5.

Well, then you know
what I'm talking about.

Yes! Amanda!

Hey, look who's
here, huh?

Your new tenants.

What a surprise.

You know they have
the arrogance to believe

that they can open
a restaurant in L.A.?

Oh, well, you must be lost.
This is Santa Barbara.

Well, we were just having
a weekend fling, like you.

I hope we didn't intrude
on your private party.

As a matter of fact,
you did.

This place used to be
a little more exclusive.

Well, you're in a mood,
aren't you?

I just need some air.
Can we go now?

I'll follow you
anywhere, kid.

Would you folks
excuse us?

We're gonna go do that
secret newlywed stuff.

No problem.

Why don't we get together,
play a few rounds
before you go?

Yeah. See ya.

What was that all about?

It's our honeymoon,
and I want to be alone.

Is that such a crime?

Oh, no, not yet.

Remind me to keep
sharp objects
out of your reach.

[knocking on door]

Yeah?

I wanted to thank you
for taking me around
today.

I learned a lot
at the Colfax
sales meeting.

Great.

You know,
I was thinking.

Maybe you could
fill me in on some, uh,
office politics here.

What did you
have in mind?

Well, like, um,

I heard that
after you slept
with Amanda Woodward,

you sort of lost
your triple-A rating.

I mean, what's that,
some kind of Samson
and Delilah thing?

Who the hell do you think
you're talking to?

I mean, she was
your boss, right?

I mean, did she
make you do her
and then drop you?

Let's get
something straight.

Just 'cause you and I
work in the same office

doesn't mean
we're buddies, got that?

Hey, I'm just trying
to learn the ropes,
Campbell.

I mean, you can't
blame a guy for trying.

Anyway,
I want to thank you
for all your help.

And, hey, uh,

I really love
what you did
with your office.

Mm-hmm.

It's great.

Jane, it's time to focus
on the boutique.

I mean, I know you're
distracted, but...

Hi, Sam.

The first thing
you gotta do is forget
about Jake.

Well, I've already
forgotten.

You have?

Yep. In fact,
I've invited Billy
over tonight,

which reminds me. Sam?

Yeah.

Could you make yourself
scarce when Billy
comes by tonight?

I'd like to have some
time alone with him.

You guys are dating?

Well, I'm hardly
gonna sit around

lying in wait to pounce
on Jake, am I?

Whatever...

but it sounds like you're
kinda crampin' Sam's style

with Billy, though.

Oh! No, no, no.

I'm just not that crazy
about being a sorority girl
again, you know?

I mean, what are
you gonna do, hang a tie
on the doorknob until...

you know, it's okay for me
to come home?

No. I promise we'll
work these issues out
in the future,

but please, for tonight,
just this one favor?

Yeah, yeah. I guess
I could go to a movie.

I don't know what
you see in him, though.

He's kind of immature.

He's just hurting.

So... this is your
famous window display.

Yeah. Do you like
my painting?

You painted this?

Yeah. It's
Marilyn Monroe's house.

She liked stuffed animals
all over her front lawn.

Maybe she was
trying to find
her inner child.

Inner child.

Um... inner children
is simply not what
this store is about.

I-- I mean,
you said style,
you said glamour,

and we've got...
stuffed animals.

Well, what do you
think of it, Jane?

I kinda like it.

Um... why don't we just
leave it up for a while

and see what kind
of feedback we get?

Thank you.

Yeah, Kyle. No.
I'd love to go hit it.

Absolutely.

But, uh, you know,
me and the little woman,

we got some plans,
and, you know, it would
probably be better

if we hooked up
next week in L.A.

Great.
That would be great.

All right, thanks.
I'll talk to you then.

"Little woman"?

Oh, it's just
a guy thing,
you know.

Golfing term.

Well, the next time
the McBrides call,

tell them to butt out
of our life.

It's just
a... marriage term.

What is going on
with you and Taylor,
anyway?

I thought something
was going on with you
and Taylor, actually.

[laughs]
That's ridiculous.

Oh? She moved
into our building,

she shows up
at your court hearing,

she's your new patient.

Amanda,
she's new in town.

She's latched onto
a familiar face.

So I guess she just
happened to latch onto
Santa Barbara as well.

She was all over you,
Peter.

It's not gonna stop
unless we stop it.

Do you think that
there's something
diabolical

about Kyle wanting
to play golf with me,
too?

I don't know.

But, um, why don't you play
golf with me instead?

Golf together?

I-- I didn't know that
you knew how to play golf.

I don't, so teach me.

I want to have a life
with you, Peter.

I think that
husbands and wives

should share the things
that they love to do.

[telephone rings]

Oh, it's probably
the lady McBride
wanting to play something.

Hello.

Hey, Amanda. It's Billy.

Look,
I'm on my way home, but
I just had to tell you

that Field's son Craig
came to work at D and D
yesterday.

Well, you could have
told me this yesterday.

Excuse me. I was
following your orders
not to call.

Just get to it, Billy.

I just don't trust
the guy, that's all.

He's already
tried to pump me
for information.

I don't know
what his game is yet.

Keep me posted.
I'll be back soon.

Hey, I thought this was
gonna be a business-free
honeymoon.

So did I.

Do you know
what I always find
is a good way

to relieve
business pressure?

"Billy...
Santa Barbara honeymoon...
don't call...

cover any emergencies."

That would be me.

[knock on door]

Oh, hi.
Hi.

I was just leaving.
Have a nice date.

Whoa. Hey.
This isn't a date.
Jane and I are just friends.

That's not
what I heard.

Well, you heard wrong.

And I'd like to talk
to you about it
tomorrow night.

Uh, I don't think so.

I like you.

And...
I think you see

a little something
in me, too, so...

Well, you're persistent.
I'll give you that.

I'm not dating Jane.

She just wanted
to talk to me,
that's all.

You're the only person
around here that I want
to go out with, so...

tomorrow night?

I'm free the night
after tomorrow.

Oh.

Hi. Come on in,
Billy.

So what is it you wanted
to talk about?

Sit down.

I miss Jake.

You miss Alison.

And your point is?

Well, I was
just wondering...

how do you handle it?

Move on. What else
is there to do?

I don't know.
I mean...

I feel like
barricading myself
inside sometimes...

so that nobody
can rape me
or abandon me

or betray me
ever again.

I think I can relate
to some of that.

I know you can.

I mean, don't you ever
feel used by them?

Yeah, I do.

I guess we both do.

Well...

I think we can
help each other
with that, Billy.

I mean...

I have so many feelings
bottled up inside.

I need someone
to give them to.

Do you know what I mean?

You mean someone

who can make Jake
jealous.

Exactly.

I don't think so.

I'd rather forget them.
It's history.

Don't you mind
having been
made a fool of?

They've been rutting
like pigs for weeks
behind your back.

It's a bad idea, Jane.

Alison and I
are through.

So are you and Jake.

And you just
accept that?

It is what it is, Jane.

For you maybe,
but Jake still
feels for me.

I know he does.

I'm sorry.

He does.

I know he does.

[telephone ringing]

I should get that.
Yeah, yeah.

It might be Shooters.

[sighs]

Ahh.

Hello.

Hello,
is anybody there?

Hello, would you answer?

There you go.
Take it back in one piece.

Try it like that.

Like that?
Mm-hmm.

Keep your head down.
Eye on the ball.

Okay, club back.

Now grip it
and rip it.

Oh. I kept my head down.

I didn't say a word.

Well, I could hear you
thinking it.

[cell phone ringing]

Ahem.

Yes?

This is Arthur Field,
Amanda.

Are you
enjoying yourself?

Most people do
on their honeymoons.

Most people
don't take honeymoons

as work-demands
are as great
as yours are.

Everything's
under control.

I'm staying on top
of things by phone,

and Billy's advising me
if any problems crop up.

Campbell doesn't know
how to run a business.

Besides, he lied to me
to cover for you.

Now, don't get me
wrong, Amanda.

I encourage
my employees to lie,
but not to me.

The first thing you do

when you get back
this afternoon,
Amanda... is fire him.

Fire him?
Yes, fire him.

I hadn't planned on
coming in this afternoon.

Plans change, Amanda.

Okay, I'll try and rework
my schedule then.

And call me.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Tell me.

I don't want
to talk about it
right now.

Psst. I'm your husband,
remember? We're married.

Your problems
are my problems.
Blah, blah, blah.

The sharks
are circling at D and D.

Oh. Well...
honeymoon's over, huh?

Come on, let's go
back to L.A.

I am not going to jump
just because Arthur
says jump.

Field is the chairman
of the board,
if I remember correctly.

He may pull
the strings at D and D,

but this is
my honeymoon.

It is not over
until I say it's over.

Nobody, but nobody,
jerks me around.

Never have. Never will.

That was our therapist.

We were talking about
my fear of intimacy, and...

well, she thinks
that we should start using

some of those non-sexual
touching techniques
we talked about.

Oh. Uh, like what?

Deep back massage.

Do me first,
and then I'll do you.

Oh. Mmm.

Mmm. I'm so tight.

That's it.
A little harder.

Mmm. Mmm.

Ohh. Mmm.

Isn't this better
than sex?

Um... I don't know.

Kimberly,
maybe we should start

with something
less ambitious,

you know,
like Patty-cake
or something.

Mm-mmm. This is good.
I'm starting to feel
very relaxed.

Me, too.

[sighs]
Oh.

What-- no, don't.
Why'd you stop?

Massager's cramp.
Look, you know what?

I'm going to go
for a run, okay?
I'll be back soon.

Ping-pong?

[ball bounces]

A game
of shuffleboard, huh?

I'm trying not to have
too good a time.

I don't want to be
tempted to come back.

I thought that being
that you weren't showing up
for your therapy sessions

that you might
have some time to kill.

How the hell do you know
whether I'm showing up

for my therapy sessions
or not,

and what business
is it of yours?

I own the joint.
You're the head doctor?

That's right.

Then why are you acting
like a patient?

I used to be
an addict myself.

I know how tough it is...

being a doctor
and a patient
at the same time.

Yeah. Well, you know what?
I get out of here tomorrow,

and it's not going to be
so tough after that.

Are you planning
on a miracle cure?

Yup.
It's called willpower.

Hmm. Well done.

Then you don't have
to worry about
all the personal garbage

that got you in here.

You know, stop trying
to understand me
so well.

Well, that's what I do.

Yeah, and the longer
I stay in here,

the more money
you haul in, right?

You think this place
has made me rich?
Yeah.

You're absolutely right.

A lot of self-destructive,
addictive personalities
out there.

My kind of people,
right?

Actually, Matt, you know,
you remind me of me.

Hello?

Anybody here?
Can I get some takeout?

We're not open yet.
Oh.

Hey. I'm the new guy

at your
apartment building--
Kyle McBride.

Oh, right. Hi.
Sydney Andrews,
your neighbor.

This is your place?

Yes.
Wow. Awesome.

Well, thanks.
We're opening
in a couple days,

and I am trying to put
the finishing touches
on the new menu.

Oh. Well,
it smells divine.

You want to come
check it out?

Sure.

Great.

Uhh. Be careful.

Goodness. Thanks.

You okay?
Yeah.

Thank you.

You moving in here,
or what?

No. I just came straight
to work from a trip
to Santa Barbara.

Oh, Santa Barbara.
I love it there.
It's so romantic.

Yeah. It can
get that way.

Yeah.

So... is that what
smells so good?

Yeah. Come on.

Why don't...

why don't you
have a taste?

Oh.

Good. Ha ha ha.

Mmm.

What do you think?

Mmm. Mmm.

I never had anything
so incredible.

What's in it?

Well, a little of this,
a little of that.

Uh, sorry.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, my goodness.
Ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Okay.

Well...

it's just...

to cool to have
such fabulous cuisine
so close to my boutique.

You own the boutique
up the street?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, um,
me and my sister.

And we're just
working late,

so I just thought
I'd come by
and get some takeout.

Hey, uh, where did you
get that painting
in your window?

I really like it.

You do?

Yeah.

I mean, in fact,
I need some big pieces
for my walls.

I think that kind of thing
would work really well.

What?

Oh, actually, I...

um,
represent the artist.

Really?
Yeah. A real
up-and-comer.

And I could probably
get you a deal on
a couple of canvasses.

I'd owe you one.

Well, okay.

Great.

[Arthur]
That chair has
your name on it, son.

How does it fit?

[Craig]
Fine. Great.

Just remember--
get all you can
from Amanda

before you
toss her out.

Don't worry, Dad.
I know what to do.

What you don't do
is be too sure
of yourself.

She tore Campbell
to pieces,
and he was a good man.

I'm better.

I'd crush her myself,

but she has
an iron-clad contract.

Too much power
for someone
in her position.

For a woman
in her position,
you mean.

I don't have a problem
with women.

No.

Just some women.

If you can't
do this, Craig...

I'll get somebody
who can.

Oh, I'll do it.

Get in.

You're a day late.
What happened?

I had a scheduling
conflict.

Have you
fired Campbell yet?

No. That's
my judgment call.

Billy's a little off
his game these days,

but it's simply
not good business
to sack him.

He's a valued employee.

He's a fool.
I ought to fire you both.

You ought to read
my contract
before you try.

You think you're bulletproof,
don't you, Amanda?

You're a protected class,

which means you can cry sexism
whenever it suits you,

or you flash some leg
when that can get you
a better deal.

This is beginning
to smack of
harassment, Arthur.

Insubordination like yours
is grounds for dismissal,

whether you wave your sex

or your contract
in my face.

It sounds like
you're forcing me
to seek legal counsel.

Is that a counterthreat?

Let me put it simply--

you try to fire me,
I'll sue your pants off.

That's a tempting offer,
Amanda...

Oh...

But let's do this instead--
demote Campbell,

but you can't tell him
it's part of a compromise deal.

Fair enough.

One more thing.

Give his best accounts
to a hotshot new employee

who joined up while you were
partying in Santa Barbara.

That wouldn't
be your son,
by any chance?

Craig.

He's probably upstairs
right now revolutionizing
the entire advertising industry.

Oh, I can't wait
to meet him.

Hey, um, uh,
you a runner?

I try to keep in shape.

Well, good try.

Hey, uh,
listen, I'm, uh,

I'm Michael Mancini.

The pleasure's all mine.

Hey, and you are?

Do you run here
often?

Every day!

Uh, excuse me.

Hi, I'm Craig Field.
I'm--

I know who you are.

I know that my presence
is bound to ruffle
some feathers,

but I figure
I'm here to learn.

I'm here to keep my ears open
and my mouth shut.

This is kind
of a bad way

to illustrate that,
isn't it?

[Craig]
Ms. Woodward.

Can I start over?

Okay. You can start
by ordering lunch
for the noon conference.

Hi.

Excuse me.

And no M.S.G.

So, I tried to reach you
at the hotel last night,

but they would not
connect me.

Well, it was the end
of my honeymoon,

and I didn't think
there was anything

that couldn't wait
until this morning.

So I have some very
interesting news.

Save it.

I'm giving Craig your office
and your top 3 accounts.

You can't do that.
I got those accounts.

Well, you haven't been
performing up to standards
lately.

Just consider this
a probationary period.

I'll quit first.

I'd hate to see you go.

I think you should hang on
for a while

and see how everything
pans out.

Now, what was that interesting
news you had to tell me?

Nothing.

Ohh!

What was that?

Jeez! Somebody threw a brick
through the window.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

It must've been Jane.

Yeah? What about Billy?

Getting even with me
for that fight we had.

He couldn't have done
something like that.

I'm going to go
talk to her.

Don't do this.

Why? Afraid you're gonna
find out about sweet Jane?

No.

I just think
she's been through
enough

without us charging
in like vigilantes.

Did you just throw a brick
through our window?

Gimme a break. I'm just
about to get in the shower.

Just answer the question.

Just because
you're feeling guilty
about Billy's tailspin,

please,
keep me out of it.

What do you mean
tailspin?

Just the things
he's been saying about
the two of you lately.

I'm sure he couldn't have
done what you're saying.

Where is he?

I saw him run off
a minute ago.

All right.
Maybe Jane didn't do it,
but neither did Billy.

[Jake]
Yeah, right.

[Alison]
Where are you going?

Out!

Hey, sorry I'm late.

It's okay. I'm noshing.

There's a lot going on
at work right now.

I had to get
some things done.

Cheers.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I know
what that's like.

Sometimes you have
to be more excellent
than anyone

just to get a foot
in the door.

It's kind of like me
with this date.

It's nice to see you
outside the building,
actually.

I mean, what an intense
bunch of people
live there.

It's sure not like
where I grew up.

Maryland you said, right?

Yes. Crisfield.

Everybody knew
everybody there.

Nothing ever happened,
except you made friends,

'cause there was
nothing else to do,

unlike here,
where everything
moves so fast.

It takes years
to make friends here...

and then lose them.

That's okay though,
isn't it?

I like to look at
my life in phases,

sort of defined
by the friends
at that time.

There was
the Andre period,

the Bob and Roxanne
period...

I had a long
Third Avenue period.

There you go.
A whole other
school of thought--

says that the phases
of your life

are marked
by the friends you had
in that time...

and the streets
you lived on and
the jobs that you had.

What?

I kinda got demoted
at work today.

Ooh.

You want to talk
about it?

Yeah, well, it's not
too easy to tell someone
about your failures.

Hey, you can talk
about them.

It's not really
a failure.

Sure you want to hear
about it?

Maybe this is
the beginning
of my Billy period.

What kind of ass throws
a brick through a window?

Why don't you take a look
in a mirror and ask one?

Where were you tonight?

I was at dinner
with Samantha.

It's true. He showed up
just after 8:00.

[Jake]
Plenty of time.

Don't ever
come near us again.

Are you
all right?

What was that about?

I have no idea.

He's sick. He should
be put away. Come on.

♪ ♪