Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 5, Episode 13 - Crazy Love - full transcript

So... this is it.

My apartment's
right over there, number five.

It's nice... very nice.

Let's go inside... I'll give you
the grand tour.

Syd... Syd, wait.

I want you to meet somebody.

No, let me guess.

You must be Jane's
long-lost real mother.

Syd, don't.

Oh, I guess
the politically correct term

is biological mother.



Well, whatever you are,
it's too little, too late.

You know, Jane already has
a mother, and a father,

and a sister,
and we're not going away

just because you showed up.

Well, that isn't what I want...

We don't have to listen to this.

Oh... all of a sudden,
you're a "we"?

Give me a break, Jane...
You've known this woman

for all of 10 minutes.

I am your family... hello?

Remember me?

I have feelings too, you know.

Sorry about all that.

She doesn't mean
half the things she says.



Well, it's gotta be
difficult for her,

having a new person
thrust into her life.

It's a lot to deal with.

Yeah, she'll be fine.

She always is.

Come on, let's sit down.

I have so much to ask you.

Are these... your parents?

Uh, yeah.

♪ ♪

They look like nice people.

They are.

But right now, I just want
to get to know you, mom.

It's all right if
I call you that, isn't it?

Well, sure, if you'd like.

Good.

So, tell me...
Where are you from?

And do you have
any other family?

And... and what about my father?

I'm sorry.

Why don't we just start with

what happened... with me.

Ah, maybe I will sit down.

You already know
I was an actress.

Your father was a stuntman.

I met him on a movie set,

and we hadn't been seeing
each other very long

when I got pregnant with you.

We were going
to be married, but...

But what? He ran out on you?

He got cold feet?

He died.

It was an accident on the set.

Oh, my God.

I was so young and just...

starting out my career.

I didn't really have any family.

So that's why you gave me up
for adoption.

I didn't want to.

I even went
to his family in Chicago

and asked them for help,
but they wouldn't.

Jane, no matter
what you think of me,

I want you to know that I never
forgot you.

You've kept it all these years?

Since you left my arms.

Stay with me.

What? Just for the holidays.

I mean, wouldn't it be great?

We could make up for
all the lost time.

Oh, honey, I don't know.

Mom, we've missed
so many Christmases.

Let's not miss this one too.

Please?

All right.

Just for the holidays.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Over the fields, we go ♪

♪ Laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪

♪ Making spirits bright ♪

♪ What fun it is
to laugh and sing ♪

♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪

♪ Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh, hey ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ ♪

If you can tear yourself
away from the golf course

this afternoon, I made
an appointment for you.

Oh! So, you're my secretary too?

What kind of appointment?

With a therapist.

You're setting me up
with a shrink?

Peter, you're gambling,
playing hooky at work,

and now, you have this
fear-of-surgery thing happening?

Your point?

I'm trying to help you, okay?

This is my way of providing it.

Well, I don't remember
asking for it.

You don't have to.

Look what you're doing
to yourself.

Wait a minute... hey.

So I... I like to gamble,
and I like to play golf.

You know, a lot of men
do those things.

We have problems here.

Why am I the one who has
to go into therapy?

Because I am
not the one who winds up

on the 19th hole every day

sucking down vodka martinis
by the gallon.

So now, I'm an alcoholic too?

I am not trying
to antagonize you.

I just wanna stop the fighting
before it gets any worse.

Okay, c... come here.

Look, I don't want
to fight either, all right?

So if it will make
you feel better,

I'll... I'll go see
this shrink of yours.

I'll leave the information
in the kitchen.

Okay.

Thanks, Peter.

Therapy.

Perfect.

No matter how crazy
my life gets,

I now know
I can die a happy man.

You know what would
make me really happy?

The two of us back at my place.

Mm... what's wrong
with being here?

Oh, it's noisy, people coming
and going at all hours.

I'm gonna half-expect
somebody to walk in on us

like Matt, or one
of your ex-wives

who live in the building.

Hey, whoa, who told you
about them?

No one... it's just
every other name

on the mailbox
happens to be "Mancini".

Anyway, you have to admit...

I mean, my place
is more private.

No, stop it, Megan,
you're nagging.

Those ex-wives, they nagged too.

Is that some kind of threat?

No, it's just...
Well, you know, my life

has just turned upside down,

and... well,
I've been there before.

So if you push me too hard or...

Or don't
give me space, I'll get crazy.

Hey, Michael, you home?

I'm trying, all right?

Believe me, the last thing
I want to do is nag.

Uh, in the bedroom, Matt.

Love your place.

Thanks.

Sorry.

I just need to get some clothes.

Was that...
Yeah, Megan, New girlfriend.

Go, Speed Racer.

Whoa... guess you've been doing

some serious shopping
lately there, Matt.

Well, they're gifts,
actually, from Dan.

Oh.

What, you got some sort
of opinion about that?

Oh, no, no, no, it's just that...

Well, I don't know how it works
with your kind,

but if I bought a woman
a closet full of clothes,

it's because I'm interested
in seeing her naked.

You know, you have a really
warped view of the world.

If you want to be
somebody's sex slave,

that's your business.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have someone

waiting for me in the shower.

♪ ♪

Samantha, I figured it would be

at least a week before
you came to your senses.

Key to your loft.

Aren't you being
overly sensitive here?

I mean, so what if I put
the moves on you?

What are you,
a nun or something?

You really expected me
to sleep with you...

For a loft, didn't you?

I expected us to have sex, yes.

That's what people do
when they date.

I want that back.

Well, you can't have that back.

What do you mean
I can't have it?

I painted it... it's mine.

You gave it to me... I like it.

No, you don't.

It's a painting of where I live,

about how I feel
about where I live.

You don't care about
any of that.

Please, just...
Just give it back.

No can do, sweetheart.

Gotta have something
to remember you by.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Hey, Samantha.

What are you doing here?
Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm okay.

I just gave the keys
to the loft back to Craig.

Oh.

Did he say something
to upset you?

No, no, it's not what he said.

It's what he's doing.

He's keeping my courtyard
painting out of spite,

and he's keeping it on his wall

like some kind
of trophy or something,

so this is a mess.

This is an impossible mess.

Excuse me... coming through.

Thank you.

Hey, how's it going?

Everybody's too damned happy,

and I can't take
drink orders fast enough.

I hate this time of year.

Can't we get
another waitress in here?

How about we do this instead?

Hey, everybody, listen up!

In keeping with
the holiday spirit,

next drink is on the house.

Merry Christmas!

♪ ♪

Hey, where is all this
coming from?

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be screwy.

It's just... Just that Christmas

was never much fun
around my house.

And for once,
I'd like to just skip it,

leave town, and hide out
till it's over.

I was gonna save these
till the 25th.

But what the Hell? We could
probably change the reservation.

Park City?

I haven't been skiing
for a while,

but I think it's probably a
pretty good place to hide out.

Oh.

Jake Hanson, this is
the best Christmas present

you could have given me.

Campbell, I'm putting you
in charge

of moving this entire agency
to the 21st century.

No paper... e-mail only.

It's your job to make sure
that every employee complies.

Hey, Craig, hold up a second.

Didn't I just give you a hell
of a lot of work to do?

This isn't about work...
It's about Samantha.

You have her painting... I think
you should give it back to her.

Oh, I get it.

You're no longer Billy Campbell,
failed advertising exec.

Now, you're Billy Campbell,
knight in shining armor.

Okay, I'll buy it from you then.

Save your money, pal.

If she didn't
put out for a loft,

she's not gonna put out
for a painting.

You're such a pig,

but I guess you knew that.

How do you feel
about stopping on the way

and getting a Christmas tree?

We can decorate it,
drink hot chocolate,

hang stockings, just like
when I was little.

I mean, you know,
with my other family.

Whoops.

I didn't know you had company.

Sherry, are we still on
for dinner?

Oh, Ed, I am so sorry.

I totally forgot.

I'm going away for the holidays.

Going away?

Well, when did you decide this?

It was Jane's idea.

Jane is my niece.

♪ ♪

Well, then...

nice to meet you, Jane.

I'm Ed, Sherry's neighbor.

Hi.

There's one hell
of a family resemblance.

You two could be sisters.

Can I help you
with your luggage?

No, no, that's all right, Ed.

I'll call you later.

Okay, then.

Merry Christmas...
to both of you.

You too.

Ed's an old friend.

He's... helped me through
a lot of tough times.

Why did you tell him
I was your niece?

I don't know.

My own vanity, I suppose.

Look at you...
You're a grown woman.

There's a part of me
that just doesn't

feel old enough to have had you.

I'm sorry.

Hm.

It's funny... I want
to tell the whole world

that you're my mother,

but you seem ashamed.

Oh, no.

I'm very, very proud of you...
It's me.

I just... I'm not very good
at dealing with the past.

I'll get better.

Let's get a drink.

Okay.

So this therapist
was trying to be serious,

and there I am, you know,
cracking jokes.

But before I know it, you know,
we were... we were talking,

you know, really talking.

So I thought it might be nice
if we were all there

and we had a talk.

So I made an appointment
for you tomorrow night.

Oh, sorry, tomorrow's
out of the question.

Maybe we can schedule
something for when I get back.

Where are you going?

Santa Barbara
to meet with a new client.

I told you this already.

No, Amanda, you see, I would...

I would remember a little detail
like my wife leaving town.

Whoa, whoa.

What, has your chariot arrived?

Please, allow me.

Oh, perfect.

You got Junior as your escort, huh?
Peter, please.

For your information,
I'm her boss.

I'm having a conversation
with my wife, if you don't mind.

Well, your wife has a job,

unlike you from what I hear.

Craig.

Why don't you wait for me
in the car?

Pleasure.

♪ ♪

So let me get
this straight, huh?

I get sent to a shrink,
while you tell

our most intimate problems
to that little weasel?

This can't be about jealousy

because if you think there's
anything going on

between Craig and me,
you're wasting your time.

Well, everything I do lately
is a waste of time

as far as you're concerned.

Don't put words in my mouth.

And don't let the door
hit you on the way out.

What the hell
are you doing here?

I'm going over the menu for the
Nature Trust charity auction.

We're... we're catering it.
Didn't Kyle tell you?

Kyle!

Taylor.

Uh...

I didn't think that you were
coming in this morning.

"A", what is she doing here,

and "B", what the hell
is she talking about?

Kyle, what do you think
of fried wontons?

You know,
you haven't exactly been

a fixture around here lately,

so I haven't had
a chance to tell you,

but Sydney got us this big
charity auction gig.

Oh, I'm sure it was out of
the goodness of her heart.

Well, you know what?
The word "charity" to me

means how much is
it gonna cost us?

Can't put a price tag
on this kind of publicity.

Look... trust me.

We are gonna get a lot
of goodwill out of this, okay?

Oh, well, you know what?
You just count me out.

This one's your baby.

Suit yourself.

I'll be in the kitchen.

♪ ♪

Tell me something.

Of all these paintings
you talked

my husband into buying,
which one's your favorite?

Oh.

Um...

Well, the one of
Marilyn Monroe's house,

you know, with the dog
on the yard.

It's kinda grown on me.

Reminds me of
that Elton John song.

Oh.

Well, this event,
it's a charity auction, right?

Yeah.

Well, allow me
to make a donation.

Get this piece of crap
outta here.

♪ ♪

Hi. Hi.

Thanks for meeting me... I didn't
want to do this over the phone.

It sounded important.

Um... yeah.

I found a solution
to Michael's money problems,

which, as we both know, will
soon be your problems as well.

I don't have much in the way
of cash or holdings,

and I can't get life insurance
due to my illness,

but I was able to get
accidental death insurance,

a... a rather hefty sum, in fact.

And, of course, Michael will be
named sole beneficiary.

I don't understand...
Accidental death?

It means dying in an accident,

which is exactly how
I'm gonna make it look.

I'm gonna kill myself, Megan.

Oh, my G... Kimberly, no.

I mean, what difference
does it make?

I'm dying anyway...
Who cares how or when?

But to plan the whole thing?

Kimberly, come on.
I care about you.

I can't just sit back calmly

and watch you do something
like that.

This is...

Megan, you've kept
this many secrets.

What's one more?

It's blood money, Kimberly,
your blood.

My blood, and my husband,
and my home,

and you're gonna have it all.

Stop making out
like it's something horrible.

I'm making this choice.

This is the way I want it.

Then why tell me about it?

Why not just do it?

I guess some day,
if you thought it was right...

you could tell Michael,
and he'd know

just how much I loved him.

Listen, I... I don't
want to hear any more details

because I won't... I won't
be able to keep quiet.

Just... you know,
just keep me out of this.

♪ ♪

Whatever it is, I don't
have time for it.

Well, you're gonna make time...
Where is it?

If you're talking
about your apartment,

it's downstairs.

Oh, well, Sydney,
don't play games.

I just stepped into Kyle's,

and my Marilyn Monroe
painting is gone.

Now, that is my painting,

so if it changes hands
or it moves,

I need to be notified.

For God sakes,
it's just colors on a canvas.

It's not the family dog.

Sydney, what did you do with it?

I didn't do anything.

As it happens,
the restaurant is donating it

to the Nature's Trust
charity auction.

Kyle cannot just
donate my painting!

He can if he owns it.

You sold it to him?

I thought it was on consignment.

When did this happen?

How come I haven't seen a dime?

I guess you don't know as much

about art
as you thought you did.

I sold it to him
on a payment plan.

Unfortunately, his payments
don't start until next year.

Oh... you're... you're evil.

I'm not gonna let you
get away with this.

I'm gonna go to the auction,
I'm gonna buy it back.

Well, good luck...
It'll cost $500

just to get in the door,
and the last I checked,

you don't even
clear that in a week.

Evil.

Man!

Brr!

Oh, what a day, huh?

Fantastic skiing.

The fire's all stoked up
for us in our cabin.

Can it get any better than this?

I guess not,

except not the part about
the airlines losing our luggage.

It's not lost, it's in Tucson.

We'll have it tomorrow.

Yeah, or not.

Hey.

What's up with you?

I don't know.

Everybody's so damn cheery...

bustling around, connecting
with their families.

It all seems so forced.

Yeah, well, I'm sure
some of it is,

but I thought
we were having fun.

We were.

Gradually, I just
keep remembering

the picture-perfect Christmases
I had growing up.

Beneath the picture,
it was all just a big lie.

It's horrible.

Couldn't even look at my father,
it made me sick.

♪ ♪

You know what it was like
in my family?

My mother would go out
to get the Christmas turkey.

She'd come back with
an empty bottle of gin.

She was drunk in half
my memories of her.

But you know, that's her...

and that's history.

What's that line about
those who forget history

are condemned to repeat it?

We're never gonna be them.

We need to start making
our own traditions.

We're a family now.

Mm.

I guess I don't know
where to begin.

Why don't we start right here?

Every Christmas,
we'll fly to Park City.

We'll lose our luggage,
and we'll go out

and buy a whole bunch
of new clothes.

I love you, Jake.

♪ ♪

No, no, no, of course.

I was just saying
that if your caseload

gets to be too heavy,
my partner and I

would be happy to take
any type of referral.

Well, great.

Well, thank you very much...
It was nice talking to you too.

♪ ♪

What are you doing here?

I told you what I did for you,

and you haven't said
a word to me since.

I saved your life, Peter.

Well, I'll make sure
to get that thank-you card

right in the mail.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Look, I understand why
you're angry with me.

I should have told you
everything to begin with.

But we are family, Peter.

No, we're not.

I was married to your sister.

And now, she's dead.

We wouldn't even
be having this conversation

if it wasn't for some stupid
schoolgirl crush

you had on me 10 years ago.

A crush? That's what
you think this is?

I love you.

I have from the first moment
I laid eyes on you.

You don't get it.

I have a woman in my life...

Amanda... and she loves me.

And thanks to you,
she doesn't trust me.

That's because
she's a very smart woman,

and she sees the connection
between us.

No, it's because
she senses a secret,

a secret I should have told her
the minute I found out.

You don't know that. I do.

Taylor, I don't want you
as a friend.

I don't even
want you as a neighbor.

I just want you to leave me
the hell alone.

I've been there for you.

I changed that diary,
and I put it

where somebody would find it.

You did that... I never asked.

I put my marriage
on the line for you,

and all you can do is hurt me?

You said it yourself, Taylor.

You've got a husband...
Now, go home to him.

At least he wants you.

♪ ♪

Hello? What's the matter?

The matter?

I'll tell you the matter.

I hung up a sweater to dry
in the laundry room.

And now, it's gone.

What kind of people
live in this place?

They take my clothes,
they take my paintings...

Excuse me, Craig doesn't
live in this building.

I an not even talking
about Craig.

I'm talking about Sydney.

Sydney took one? Six!

All painted under
the name "Kirov," mind you,

to enhance their value.

Their valued to Sydney
since she sold them

to Kyle's Restaurant,
but did I see a penny?

No, I did not, not for a year

like some kind of big-screen TV.

So what does Kyle do?

He donates the best one

to a charity auction
for The Nature Trust.

Slow down, wait a second,
just tell me...

Tell me how this whole thing
got out of control.

I don't know!

I thought
the Kirov thing would...

Would jumpstart my career
or something.

These paintings, they're...
They're, like, a piece of me.

Do you know what I mean?

I mean, like, I ca...

I can't just disconnect
myself from them.

Does this sound totally weird

to someone who's not an artist,

or just totally self-indulgent?

No, it sounds like
it's very important

for your paintings to get
a good home.

Exactly!

And at an auction, who knows
where they're gonna end up?

Well, you could go see.
I can't go see.

It's $500 a ticket.

I can't... I can't afford
that kind of money.

DD could buy
a couple of tickets.

Just put it under
client relations.

But I'm not a client.

Yeah, well, Craig's got
the whole agency on e-mail,

so maybe I could, you know,
sneak in...

Write a memo on his computer,

buy a couple of tickets.

That's the least
he could do for you.

♪ ♪

Sydney, this is slowly
turning into a disaster.

Where are the waiters?

Well, they're supposed to be...

I'm sorry, I thought they knew

what they were supposed
to be doing.

I'll fix it. Now, hm?

Dan.

Dan, look at this.

It's the original
Maltese Falcon.

We were just watching
this movie again last week.

Oh, my God, huh?

Ho, ho.

Let's get it. Yeah, right.

That thing's gonna go
for thousands of dollars.

I'm serious.

Well, I wanna buy it for you.

I can afford it.

No... no, no, no, no, no.

I... I wouldn't even know what
to do with something like that.

And besides, you know,
we don't even know if it's real.

Sometimes, these things
are stolen.

Come on, you loved the movie.

We'll put it in a glass case.

We'll put it on the mantle.

It's a done deal.

The falcon is yours.

No... thanks, really, no.

Come on, what are
you talking about?

You want it...
I can see it in your eyes.

You know, Dan, you're
not listening to me.

I said no.

I mean no.

Well, take it easy, all right?

You don't have to get
all worked up about it.

No, Dan... you know, Dan,
I'm not someone

you can just buy extravagant
gifts for, all right?

I'm not an accessory
for you to dress up.

I have my own opinions,
I make my own decisions.

No.

When you decide to get down
off that high horse of yours,

then maybe we can have
a conversation.

This conversation is over.

Hey... wait a second.

Let me... let me
tell you something...

What's going on here?

Hey! Guys! Come here.

All right, I want you three to
stay here at the buffet table.

I want you to go
to the dessert table.

Let's have you two take
drink orders in the crowd,

you direct people to
their seats, and you bus tables.

Now, go.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

I should have been here for you.

This is where I belong.

Mm.

I just temporarily
forgot we were a team.

Hey, we are
a great... team, okay?

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,

may I have
your attention, please?

We're ready to start the
bidding.

And now, we have
this lovely acrylic painting,

an original work by...
Samuel Kirov.

This item was donated
by our caterer this evening,

Kyle's Restaurant.

I don't even want to know
how you two got in here.

You're bidding?

Only to make sure
that the painting

goes for a really high price.

It would be the best thing
to happen to Kyle

and his restaurant,
and what's good for him

is good for me.

What about what's good
for the artist?

How come I got lost in all this?
Shh.

Let's start the bidding
at $2,000.

I have $2,000... Am I bid 3,000?

$3,000, very good...
Am I bid 4,000?

$4,000 over here.

Do I hear five?

What are you doing?

Driving the price up, Einstein.

$5,000, the bid.

Do I hear six?

$6,000.

Do I hear 7,000?

Sydney.

Once? Twice?

Sold to the generous redhead
for $7,000.

Next item up for bid
is perfect for...

So my father, the stuntman,

you never mentioned his name.

Tom...

Stevenson.

From Chicago?

Have you kept up
with his family?

No, not really.

'Cause I just thought that...
That if you had,

then... then maybe...

I'm sorry.

It's a lie, Jane.

I was protecting myself,
what I did.

The stuntman?

I made him up

because I thought
it would be easier

than telling you the truth.

The truth is...

your father was
a B-movie producer

I slept with to get a part.

That's how desperate I was.

You don't have to... Jane.

If I can't give you
anything else,

I can at least
give you the truth.

You trust me.

You deserve the truth.

When I was 18,

I won a beauty contest.

First prize, a trip to Hollywood
and a screen test.

So I came and got
a little apartment,

a few bit parts.

And that was it.

I wrote home lying
about everything.

I couldn't bear to admit to them

that I wasn't doing well.

They'd pinned
all their hopes on me.

And when you get
desperate, you do...

really stupid things.

Anyway, after I was pregnant,

I went home to have you,
to raise you...

but all I got was
how disappointed

everyone was in me,

how I'd let them all down.

So I called the sisters,
and I put you up for adoption,

and I came here...

to try again.

But it was different
the second time.

I lost something.

Ah... desire, I guess.

By that time, all I could do

to make a living
was to be a secretary.

It wasn't that bad...
I didn't mind it.

I still don't.

And I'd send home money
every week to my sister.

It helped her with her life...

and me, with my guilt.

♪ ♪

I was just so scared
you'd hate me.

You're my mother.

It doesn't matter
how it happened,

or... even why.

I still love you no matter what.

Really?

Yes.

I thought while we were waiting
for Mr. Colter,

we could go over some ideas
for the print campaign.

Now, this is a product
I can get behind.

I'll be wearing it
when he comes,

and you just
sit there and say nothing.

Let's get something
straight here, okay?

I'm running the company, and I'm
running the show here.

So you want to wear
the necklace?

Come on, give me a hand.

Excuse me, sir.

Do you have a reservation?

Uh, no, actually.

It is, as they say... you.

Well!

This is a romantic little scene.

It was before you showed up.
I'm not talking to you, pal.

As far as I'm concerned,
you don't exist.

Peter, sit down,
and lower your voice.

You're making a fool
out of yourself.

No, you're making a fool of me!

I come all the way
up here to tell you

something very important
to me... to us!

And I find you
getting showered with jewels

by Wonder Boy here.

We are meeting a client
who happens to be a jeweler.

Craig is not giving me
anything, believe me.

Well, I don't know
what to believe!

You send me to a shrink while
you just

hightail it up to Santa Barbara

and play footsies
with this little twit?

Excuse me, sir, I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.

If you haven't noticed, Amanda,
I'm in a bit of a slump,

or did you forget
that part of the vows?

You know,
"For richer, or for poorer".

Or maybe, you just skipped
the vows completely.

Why don't you leave her alone?

You're embarrassing everyone,

and our client's
gonna be here any minute.

Oh.

I see why you like him so much.

I mean, he's so...
He's so young.

You can mold him
just like putty, huh?

You say "speak", and he barks.

You are acting
like a real child.

Now, pull yourself
together, and go.

We'll deal with this at home.

Well, I'd love to, baby,
but you're never there.

Get out of here, Peter.

And stop making such a scene.

Oh, come on, Amanda.

I mean, this really
isn't a scene yet!

Here... now, it's a scene.

♪ ♪

Yes?

Hi.

Remember me?

You're from... From the auction.

The name's Sydney Andrews.

We were rivals on the bidding
for this painting.

It took me all day to get
your name and address.

The nature folks
finally forked it over.

Wow! Check out that tree.

What did you do, steal it
from the Rockefeller Plaza?

It was flown in from Wisconsin.

Oh.

This way to Mr. Gallavan.

Mr. Who-van?

Wait... whoa, hang on.

Wait, hang on.

He scores!

The crowd goes wild!

You're the best, man!

No one can beat you.

The painting.

Walter, I accused you
of screwing this up.

My apologies.

I wish I could take the credit.

Sir, this is...

I'm sorry, your name again?

Oh, um, Sydney Andrews.

And you're that
virtual reality guy

I saw on Barbara Walters.

You're supposed to be
the next Bill Gates.

Carter Gallavan.

See, that is the last
interview I ever give.

They made me look like
such a total geek,

don't you think?

So, Miss Andrews, are you, uh...

Are you having second thoughts
about that painting,

or are you just
looking to cash in?

Uh... a little
of both, actually.

Okay... well, I won't lie to you.

I am a major
Marilyn Monroe freak.

I saw that painting
in the auction catalog

with the explanation
that that house depicted in it

was Marilyn's, so I sent
Walter to buy it.

And he decided
that 7,000 was too much

to spend for an unknown.

Uh, I'll tell you what,
uh, Mr. Gallavan.

Seeing as it is
Christmas and all,

I'll let you have the painting
for $6,000,

Walter's last bid.

Mm, I'll give you 7,000.

Well, that was what...

All right, 7,500 then.

Well, no, you don't understand.

See, I...

This guy can't miss!

Fantastic! Totally cool!

I'll give you $8,000
for it, okay?

If...

you can put this puck
into that net.

There you go, perfect.

All right.

All right, hold on.

Let her rip.

Awesome, dude!

You're a real winner!

Way to go, buddy.

I gotta make this thing
more gender-neutral.

Still, that was a great shot.

Walter, write this lady a check.

I just... I love this painting.

Hello... come on in.

You like champagne, right?

Of course you do...
Everybody likes champagne.

Yeah... usually, don't you have
to have something to celebrate?

Exactly.

It's right over there on
the couch... you can't miss it.

Oh, my God.

Ah! It's the painting
I gave Craig!

You didn't steal it, did you?

Of course not.

I went back
to the e-mail concept.

See, all artwork at DD has to be

okay'd by the design committee.

So I took it upon myself
with a few keystrokes

to make sure that they really
didn't like your painting.

So, at their request,
maintenance replaced it

with another one,
turning it over to me

to make sure I could
give it back to you.

How about that?

So how about a toast
to your painting

finding its way back home?

You are always
surprising me, Billy.

Mm.

Yeah, well, you have
interesting problems.

Really?

Is that why
you keep rescuing me?

Yeah, that's one of the reasons.

And the other reasons?

Well, we kind of always end up

on the same side
of things, you know?

How come you think that is?

'Cause we're a good fit.

See? We kinda fit like this.

Amanda!

Amanda, open the door!

Amanda!

Amanda, I swear,
if you changed these locks...

Amanda, open up!

Will you talk to me?

It's over, Peter...
Do you understand?

Over!

Fine!

Fine, it's over!

Well...

she threw me out...
For good this time.

Isn't that what you wanted? Huh?

Go to hell, Peter.

Damn it... don't you walk
away from me.

This is all your fault.

Everything that you did,
it's all your fault.

Showing up like this...
It was all working out!

All I did was open up to you
and tell you the truth.

Digging up my past, my feelings,

throwing yourself at me!

Let go of me, Peter.

Let go of me! Why?

Why did you do it?

Why?

Why?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪