Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 3, Episode 23 - Love and Death 101 - full transcript

I see you came here
straight from the airport.

Oh, hey, babe.

You know, I didn't realize I was
scheduled for rounds this morning.

It was lucky I called in first.

Uh-huh.

I would have called you, too,

but they said you were on also,

so I figured I'd catch
up with you here.

Well, you were right.

It's good to be back though.

I missed you, sweetheart.



Frankly, I'm not
so sure that's true

considering you and Amanda
shared a hotel room in New York.

Am I hearing this?

Are you so insecure
that even for a moment

you believe Amanda
and I... I mean,

that's not only unethical,
it's unthinkable.

Ha ha.

Excuse me, but unethical
happens to be your middle name.

The woman has cancer,
Kimberly. Cancer.

I'm sure the last thing
on her mind is sex.

All right, Michael, I'll take
your word for it.

This time.

But if I find out
you're lying, know this,

there is going to be hell
to pay,



serious hell.

Hey, do I look worried?

Hello?

Welcome back.

Did you have fun
in the big apple?

Who is this?

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Mrs. Michael Mancini.

What can I do for you, Kimberly?

Oh, something
very simple really.

Keep your claws
out of my husband.

Oh, look. No, you look.

I don't give a damn
how sick you are.

Michael is off limits to you for
anything but professional purposes.

Now, I am sorry that you don't
have a friend in the world,

but if you need your hand held,

I suggest you dial
1-800 get your own man.

No, I am still
at the hairdresser's.

Fine. Put Doug on it.

We'll go over and make a revised
schedule when I get in.

Good-bye.

That's it for the
business calls.

It's the only way I can keep
things afloat at the office.

With all the rank incompetence
I've seen there lately

it's a wonder the place doesn't
crumble every time I take a lunch.

Now, give it back.

I'd have to concur with
Dr. Mancini in confiscating

that... because although
things seem to be going well

with your chemo, there's something
working against us Amanda.

Your career.

Doctor, if anything, my career
motivates me to get well.

Look, your blood pressure is up,

even since you've come
back from New York.

Stress can undo a lot of what
we're accomplishing here.

Now, I know you're
not going to like it,

but I strongly suggest that
you take a leave of absence.

That's out of the question.

Then at least
cut your hours down.

Minimize your duties and, most
importantly, get away for a few days.

Which is exactly why
I've made reservations

at the Royal Canyon
Ranch in Santa Barbara.

Sounds like a fine idea.

But a misguided one.

My industry is having its annual
award ceremony Saturday night.

I have no intentions
of missing it,

especially since I'm a shoo-in
in for print ad of the year.

Well, I'll, uh, let the 2 of
you discuss this privately.

Don't try the hard sell
on me, Michael.

Going away together is
as best inappropriate.

I simply propose that we go up

for a day and night
of solid R and R.

No funny business, no stress.

Then if you want to come
back for the awards,

we'll check out after
breakfast the next morning.

Amanda, neither one of us has

even recovered from
the jet lag yet.

That I'm even considering
this amazes me,

but I'll think about it.

Now, can I have my phone back?

I'm still a little unclear
on this, um. Ahem.

You're going to
Santa Barbara tomorrow to work.

That's right.

I had lunch today
with their personnel guy

and he offered me one
of their weekend slots.

Hey, come on now.

I'm going to Santa Barbara
to work the weekend

because I can make
a lot extra cash doing it.

You see, they're
short on residents,

so they're willing to
pay through the nose

for Wilshire Memorial doctors
who want to moonlight.

In fact, the money is so good,

I think I might work
weekends for a while,

really rake in the bucks.

And all this extra cash
is for what exactly?

Ahh.

Oh! Maui?

I figured after all we've been
through, we deserve a vacation.

2 weeks of fun in the sun.

It will be the honeymoon
we never had, babe.

Come on and hug me,
I know you want to.

Oh, Michael.

Alison: I loved it when you
said the campaign was going

to cause a ripple
in the marketplace.

You said ripple.

It'll be a damn
tsunami, Mr. Franklin.

I see you 2 finally decided to
grace us with your presence.

Yes, and you'll be glad to know

that through some
brilliant maneuvering,

we effectively saved the
Franklin Cruise Lines account.

What do you mean saved?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Franklin
was perfectly stable when I left.

The only reason the account
became a problem

is because you didn't leave us

with a solid enough campaign
in the first place.

Alison managed to turn it around
and hit it out of the park.

Well, you may have landed on
your feet with that account,

but everything else around here
went to pot in the process,

especially these
quarterly reports.

I want them updated and
on my desk Monday morning.

Oh, and by the way,

did you submit my entry form to
the Century Advertising Awards?

No. With this whole situation...

You know, Alison,
for every solid catch,

there's a pathetic fumble.

The Century Awards are the
biggest advertising event

of the year and you can't even
manage to mail off an entry form?

The deadline's tomorrow.

I know, I was going to
have it messengered over.

Not good enough.

Take it there personally.

Amanda, their offices are
somewhere in Long Beach.

Well, you better
fill up your tank.

And while you're there, let it
slip that I'm very ill.

If there was ever a year
I needed to win, this is it.

My lunch receipts.

I switched with Elise,

so I won't be back
for the dinner shift.

Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then.

So, you have big plans
for tonight?

Uh, I'm having dinner at Jane's.

Really? How sweet.

I think you should know

that Jane and I have
decided to see each other.

Yeah, I figured that one out.

But there are some things you
better know about my sister,

Jake, like...

she's all about flash
and style, no substance.

It's not an accident
that she ended up

in a superficial business
like fashion.

Sydney, don't do this.

You won't fit
into her world, Jake.

You'll hate it.

And I don't have
a hidden agenda here.

I'm telling you this
because I care about you.

Is that right?

Women like Amanda and Jane

want their men
to be window dressing.

And if they don't have the right
look or the right social graces,

they'll fix it so you do.

I wouldn't be surprised
if she hasn't already tried

to change the way you dress.

Well, thanks for the
little bit of insight,

but I think that you're
a little biased.

Fine, but don't
say I didn't warn ya.

Hi. Can I help you?

Yes, um, I'm Alison Parker
from D and D Advertising.

I'm here to turn
in an entry form.

I hope it's not too late.

Are you kidding?

You guys are expected
to be top contenders.

Let me take a look at those.

Oh, I'm the awards coordinator,
by the way, Brooke Armstrong.

Hi, Brooke.
It's nice to meet you.

It looks like there's
been an oversight here.

I'm not seeing the form
for Glorious Gowns.

That was your campaign, right?

Oh, yes, but it's
not being entered.

Amanda Woodward is going to
represent us in this category.

Ooh.

Not that this should
influence anything,

but she's suffering
from a terrible illness

and her Grandstand Electronics
campaign was super.

So, if anyone's going to win
this award, it will be her.

Maybe,

but you should at least submit

an entry for yourself.

I mean, a nomination is as
good as gold career-wise.

It's true.

I tell you what, submissions
usually require

a presidents signature,

but I'm going to let it
slide this time.

Actually, I'm... I'm
not comfortable with that.

Alison, I know everyone
on the awards committee.

Glorious Gowns was one of
last year's best campaigns.

You deserve to at least get
yourself an honorable mention.

Just fill these out
and I'll do the rest.

Well... if it's just
for a nomination.

Listen, could I take you out to
lunch sometime and pick your brain?

I've been trying to get
back into a top ad agency

and talking to someone at your
level would be really helpful.

Sure. Give me a call.

Thanks. I will.

I have your number right there
on the submission form.

Amanda, just so you know your
entry form has been submitted.

Good.

Have a seat.

The reason I called
you both in is, um...

although I just returned
from New York,

I'm gonna be out of
the office again tomorrow.

Is something wrong?

In a manner of speaking.

Basically, I don't
have the energy level

I once had and I have
to face that fact.

So, I'm taking
an R and R day tomorrow

and next week I'll probably
work out of my apartment,

which, of course, forces
me into the position

of trusting both of you
to take the reigns again.

And considering what
happened last time,

that's quite a bitter pill
for me to swallow.

What do you need us to do?

For the purposes of
this particular absence,

I need you to step up the schedule
on those quarterly market reports,

have them faxed to me at the Royal
Canyon Ranch in Santa Barbara.

Next week we'll go over the
specifics of your new duties.

Royal Canyon Ranch. Wow.

That's supposed
to be a great hotel.

That it's restful
is all I care about.

Well, I hope the two of you can
function better as a team

than you did as a couple

because that's the only way this
changing of the guard will work.

Well, Amanda, I think
I speak for both

of us when I say we'll
do our absolute best.

I'm counting on it.

That's what worries me.

I know you enjoyed yourself.

Ha ha ha.

Come on. It wasn't
that bad, was it?

No, no, if you don't
mind being in a room

with more ice
sculptures than people.

That is not true.

No, actually, I had
a really good time.

But mostly it was...

the company I kept.

Hmm.

Allow me.

I know you've been dying
to do this all night.

You're not going to get
an argument from me.

If it's any consolation, this
tuxedo's really working for you.

You look great, Jake.

You know what?

So do you.

New duties. Right.

She's probably just trying
to work us till we drop

to prove we can't handle
things without her.

Maybe, but I think
she's starting to realize

that she can't keep acting
like she's perfectly healthy.

Yeah, well, I don't know
how long either of us

is going to stay
healthy at this pace.

What time is it?

It's 11:00. How's that
slippery shrimp?

Delicious. You want some?

Yeah.

Mmm.

Want some kung pao?

Yeah.

Mmm.

It's really good.

Have some more.

Hey, Syd, what's up?

Not much.

Uh, only that I have a major
problem with your dating Jake.

Date anyone else in the world

and I won't give
a rat's ass, just not him.

Are you staking
some kind of claim?

If you want things to stay good
between us, Jane, you'll stop.

You know, Syd, we really need
to get past this sort of thing.

We're sisters.

This isn't about a
competition between us.

You're right, it isn't.

It's about my finally finding
someone who's good for me

and you're bulldozing
right over the top of it.

This is ridiculous.

God. Look, if Jo can
handle us going out,

you should be able to.

I mean, how long were you and
Jake together, 10 minutes?

It doesn't matter how long.
I'm in love with him.

In fact, he's
the love of my life.

Well, I have no
intention of not seeing

Jake just because you live in some
one-sided fantasy world about him.

It's not one sided.

I'm not going to stand here
and argue the point.

If that's what you need
to think to get through

the night, knock yourself out.

I'm going to bed. Jane.

Ahh.

Just remember one thing,
all's fair in love and war.

This will definitely be war.

I haven't been up
here in so long.

I'd had forgotten
how beautiful it is.

Yeah, it's one of those things
you have to do a few times

a year, help keep
the head on straight.

So, uh, what did
you tell Kimberly

about this, uh, little get away?

Ah, not much.

I find that very surprising.

No, not really. Thank you.

Relationship's been on
the wane for a while now.

Mostly because of Kimberly's
obsession with having kids.

I'm not into it, so
she's backed off emotionally.

You know, I've tried
to stay close to her.

But I can't change the fact that
I need an equal in marriage.

You know, a woman whose career means
as much to her as mine means to me.

Wow. That's a rarity in a man.
Yeah.

Sad part is we're just going
through the motions at this point.

Well, I'm glad you
talked me into this.

It feels like
the right decision.

Michael, you said this trip
was strictly professional.

I just had to get that
out of my system first.

Well, I'm off.

I'm having lunch with this kid
from the Century Awards,

who, believe it or not,
admires my work.

I believe it.

You're damn good and
everybody who's anybody

in this business knows it.

Well, whoever doesn't know it
now will know it soon.

She talked me into
nominating Glorious Gowns.

Ah, that's great.

You really deserve congrats
for that campaign.

Billy, um...

I know things have
been good between us lately,

but I think what
happened last night

came from a place
of familiarity.

We were in an environment
we shared at one time,

we're having a meal like we used
to have and it happened.

I mean, that's it.

Psychoanalyze that one.

I'm running late for lunch.

I was kind of
a rising star there,

but naturally it
went under right

before my promotion took effect.

Oh, that's too bad.

I know, but it wouldn't
have worked out anyway.

There was
this older woman there,

a senior account executive, who
totally had it out for me.

Is it just me or have
you found that women

don't help each other
out in this business?

Well, there are a lot of women
who can't handle the idea

that you're a teammate
and not a competitor.

So, do you want to try your
hand at advertising again?

Oh, definitely.

I mean, I just took this
awards job to make ends meet.

But the problem now
is how to get back in.

I have to admit, that's partly
why I asked you to lunch.

I thought that
talking with someone

of your talent and experience

would hopefully give
me some insight.

Brooke, I don't know if
you'd be interested in this,

but we're losing
one of our interns.

It's only a 3-day-a-week job,
but it would be a start.

You're serious?

I would kill
to intern at D and D.

Ha ha. That won't be necessary.

Um, I'll make a few calls and
see if I can arrange it.

Thank you, Alison,
Um... and don't worry

about recommending me,
I learn quickly.

Can you page Dr. Mancini for me?

I wouldn't bother.
He's unavailable.

Kimberly, didn't see you there.

How you doing?

Oh, I'm fine, Matt.

But, um...

I hear you had
a little situation recently.

That obsessed psycho
took you hostage, huh?

You know, you really
should be more careful

about the types
you run after, Matt.

Yes.

Well, speaking of desperate
men, where's your husband?

I need to go over a
patient's history with him.

Sorry, he's working
a weekend shift

at Santa Barbara City
Hospital for extra cash.

I think I'll look
into it myself actually,

increase our savings
all the more, you know.

Michael's moonlighting?

At SB City?

I don't know why
you're so surprised.

He happens to be
a very ambitious man.

Kimberly, we used to have a deal

at that hospital where they'd borrow
residents for rotating weekends,

but it was putting too much
stress on the participants.

Is that so?

Don't flip your wig,

but that program was discontinued...
about a year ago.

These pictures are terrific, Jo.

I know Amanda's
going to be thrilled.

Good, where is she anyway?

The receptionist said
she was out of town again.

Um, she's... she's
taking an R and R day.

Actually, um, the truth is...

I guess it's all
right to tell you,

but you have to promise
to keep it quiet.

What?

Amanda has cancer.

Oh, my God.

Not Amanda.

She must be so scared.

Is she going to be ok?

She doesn't talk about
it, but Michael told

Matt her prognosis
is pretty good.

I really admire her.

If it were me,
I'd be a basket case.

Excuse me.

Amanda Woodward's office.

Woman, with British accent: Uh, yes, I'm
calling from her oncologist office.

Is she there?

Um, no, she's not going
to be in today.

Is it important?

Yes, very.

Do you know where
I might reach her?

Uh...

Billy, it's Amanda's
doctor's office.

They want to know where she is.

Then it should be ok.

She's at the Royal Canyon
Ranch in Santa Barbara.

Really?

Yes. Do you need the number?

Uh, no, thank you. That
won't be necessary.

Ok, bye.

That was the best meal
I've had in months.

Well, it was fun to make.

I wasn't sure you'd like Indian.

Oh, I loved it.

Be warned, I could get
really used to your cooking.

Well, I could get
used to cooking for you.

Hey, how did this
happen so quickly?

Easy. It was wonderful.

Thanks again for bringing it.

It's a good thing I live so close
I can just walk home after.

After what?

Hi, this is Jane. I'm not in.

Leave a message. Thanks.

Jane, hi, it's Sydney.
Are you there?

I'll call her back.

Jane, I'm in trouble.

My car broke down and I'm at...

What's the name of this place?

The Palomino.

That's right.
I'm at the Palomino.

She's got to be kidding.

My car is broke
or something and...

Wait, maybe I won't need you.

Some guys here
say they'll help me.

Ahh. Jake, don't.

The Palomino is not a place
you want to break down.

Sydney, it's Jake.
Just stay put.

Don't talk to any goons
and I'll be right there.

Whatever you say, Jake.

Which one of you cowboys wants
to buy this lady a fresh drink?

Right here.

Get the lady a drink.

Yeah, I got it, right here.

This place is a godsend.

I'm as relaxed
as I've been in years.

Well, mission accomplished then.

I poured you some
more mineral water.

Thanks.

You know, it's
strange, I've, um...

I've always been very
aware of sharing space

with someone, but not with you.

It seems kind of
natural somehow.

Maybe it's just
the circumstances,

but I've come to depend on you

in a way that I've never
depended on anyone.

Now, that's because
we're a lot alike.

You've always had to look out
for number one, so have I.

Neither one of us has
probably ever truly trusted

or taken care
of anybody but ourselves.

That's changed for me, Amanda.

For the first time I want
to take care of someone.

I want to take care of you.

Ha ha ha.

I've never said that to anybody.

I almost believe you.

What was that?

I don't know.

Room service maybe.

Give me a reason not
to drop this in.

How'd you get in here?

I am Mrs. Michael Mancini.

Calm down, babe.
This is not what you think.

How stupid do you
think I am, Michael?

All right, put
the lamp down, please.

Come on now. Put the lamp down.

Oh, you are a spineless fraud.

Oh, where do you
think you're going?

Now, let's just
stay calm here, ok?

Whoa!

Ha ha ha.

Look at you, you're a selfish,

philandering,
dripping wet bastard.

That I'd want you
at all is amazing.

Look, this was simply
a medical treatment for Amanda

and the fact that you interrupted
is seriously affecting her health.

Don't give me that crap,
Michael, I'm a doctor.

All I'm saying is that this
could be explained, all right?

Maybe not now.
Later, later, yeah.

In fact... in fact, you
know what would be great?

Go home, wait for me there,

and then after our heads
clear, we'll talk.

Oh, I'm leaving, all right, but
not because you're telling me to.

Seeing the two of you together
has made me sick to my stomach.

You have no idea
how close that was.

I don't know how you
managed to make me forget

that you're a pathological
liar, but you did.

Amanda, I can explain.

Not interested.

These days I have no
tolerance for liars.

Life is too short.

Especially mine.

You know what's funny?
Still thirsty.

Got ya covered, little lady.

Thanks.

What is your name?

Cal.

Well, I think you're
sweet... Cal.

It's that time, folks.

Oh, yes, time for our
ladies to show us

and I do mean show us,
their finest.

Get ready for the Palomino's
famous black bra contest.

Come on! Let me hear it!

The grand prize, $200.

Fellas, get your
nominees up here

and get ready to cast your vote

for the gal wearing
the sexiest black bra.

Ohh.

Hey, how about you get up there

and represent this
corner of the room?

I don't think so.

Come on now. My friends think
you're a real winner, right?

Really, I'm just not qualified.

What's the matter, you got the
wrong color on today or something?

Hey, cut it out.

Your applause will decide
our winner so, uh...

Hey, aah!

That's nice. That's really nice.

Get your winners up here!

Here's one for ya.

Sydney's going
to win us 200 bucks.

Hello, little lady.

Mamasita, I love you.

How about a nice hand
for the little red head?

Jake. Ohh!

You can't do that.
That's our winner.

How about a nice hand
for our runner-up here?

What, are you out of your mind, what
are doing in a place like that?

I don't know what
I was thinking.

I thought it would be fun,
different, I guess.

It was more stupid than
anything else.

I know, you're right.

I was so scared in there, Jake.

I swear those guys were
going to hurt me.

Well, you're safe now. Get on.

Hey!

Where the hell do you think
you're taking my girl?

Mind your own business
and there won't be any problems.

I think the only problem
here, pal, is you.

Oh, hey.

Tell your passenger to get off.

Just stay put,
all right? Stay put.

Look, I don't want to get
into it with you, ok?

So, just back off and...

I spent 20 bucks on that bitch.

She's got to make
it worth my while.

All right, that's it.

Just keep talking
like a dirt bag.

Unh!

I'll talk about the tramp
any damn way I please.

Amanda. Are you
totally incompetent

or are you just out to get me?

No, of course not.

Then explain to me
how Kimberly Shaw

found out I was
at the Royal Canyon?

I have no idea.

The only person I gave
that information to...

was the nurse at
your doctor's office.

Amanda, if I upset your trip,
it was completely unintentional.

I thought I was helping you.

Well, as usual, you were wrong.

What was supposed to be a retreat
from the harsh realities of my life

turned into a sordid nightmare.

I'm sorry.
I don't know what to say.

Just tell me you didn't
botch tonight's limo

arrangements for
the century awards.

No, it's all taken care of.

Well, at least you're
not totally useless.

Amanda...

I know you're
in a bad place right now

because of your illness,

but I want you to know that
despite all we've been through,

personally and professionally,

I do intend to be
there for you at work.

I won't screw you over.

You have my word.

Kimberly?

You ok?

I spent the night up there.

Alone.

I figured you could
use the time.

Honey...

I want to...

I want to explain
something to you,

but I want you to listen
before you say anything, ok?

Amanda, uh...

She's a...

She's a... Frightened woman.

You know, she's
terrified that her life

could be ending...

and so...

she became fixated on me.

Classic case of
transference, really.

Well, I admit that
I participated in that,

but it was only because.

I firmly believe

that if I rejected her advances,

it would have
left her devastated

and, in turn...

in turn, jeopardized
her treatment.

So, obviously,
that was a mistake.

And I let it get too far.

Far enough to put a strain
on our marriage, in fact.

I'm going to put a stop to it.

Tonight...

I'm going to
tell her she has to let

go of... these
fantasies she has.

You do what you
have to do, Michael.

Oh. Ohh.

Thanks for being so
understanding, sweetheart.

Michael...

I know all your faults...
like no one else does.

I know what you've done...

I know you'll probably do
it again in the future.

I know all this.

And as much as I wish
I didn't...

I still love you.

No one is ever going
to let you be

as true to yourself
as I have, as I will.

Just please...

please don't leave me.

Hey, hey, did you
hear what I said?

I'm with you.

And I know how good I have it.

Believe me... I know.

Listen, I'm sorry I didn't
come back last night.

Yeah, uh, I was kind
of worried, actually.

So, what happened?

Pretty much what I expected.

By the time I got there some
good old boys were pawing her.

I think she had too much
to drink and, you know,

things got out of hand, I guess.

Hmm, What happened to your face?

Oh, some guy followed us out
and starts saying some crap

about how Sydney owed him for
some beers he bought her and...

and you defended her honor.

It had nothing to do with that.

Come on, it was
about Syd being Syd

and it's her getting into
trouble like she always does.

You know that.
Yeah, I do know that.

But that's the difference
between us, Jake.

Is that I don't participate in
her little charades anymore.

She was in a jam,
I helped her out.

It was as simple as that.

Look, um...

This is going to be too
complicated for me.

I mean, Sydney's
my sister and I, um...

I really want things
to work out between us,

but it's obvious
to me that you still

have unresolved
feelings toward her.

That's ridiculous.

And since that is the case,

I don't think that
we should be dating.

Jane, I think you're making
a much bigger deal

out of this than you need to.

Even if there's a sliver of
truth to what I'm saying,

I am not prepared to get
involved with you, Jake.

That sounds damn
near an ultimatum.

It is.

Well, to be honest with you,
that's something I'm not

prepared to deal with.

Fine. So we won't.

Fine.

Oh, don't tell me
the car's here already.

No, no, he's not due
for another hour,

I just came to see how you were.

Feeling like crap,
but what else is new?

Oh, at least you're well enough
to attend the awards dinner.

You're a shoo-in.

If there was any
justice in the world.

So, who's your escort?

No one. I'm going stag.

I guess it really doesn't matter

since we're all
sitting together.

I've got more important things

on my mind than
tonight's place cards.

Hello? Hi. It's your
doctor calling.

What do you want?

Well, I'm just letting you
know I'm on my way over.

I'm escorting you to the
Century Awards tonight.

Thanks, but I'd
prefer to go solo.

Look, I know I handled the
Santa Barbara thing badly.

I should have told you that
Kimberly was still being

so possessive... but it is over.

I'm, uh... I'm breaking it
off with her and moving out.

That's nice, but, uh...

not exactly something
I want on my head.

Well, everything else
I told you was true.

These days I have a hard time
believing anything you say.

Yeah, well, believe
this, I'll be there

with a limo in 15 minutes and I'm
not taking no for an answer.

You need someone to kiss when
they say "and the winner is..."

Pretty cocky, aren't you?

Yeah, 15 minutes.

Ahem.

Where do you think you're going?

I just called Amanda
and set her straight.

But she reminded me
of this awards deal thing,

I don't know, I had agreed
to a while back,

but she swore to back off
if I'll just do this one thing.

You know, she couldn't
find an escort.

Amanda couldn't get a date.

Well, you've seen her, babe.

She's not looking
that hot these days.

Hey, you remember what I said?

I'm with you.

And this is absolutely,
positively the last time

you're going to babysit her?

Uh-huh.
And then I'm off the hook.

Oh, gosh. I gotta hit the road.

I know because the
pumpkin's out front.

And it better be on her tab.

Oh, ouch.

It's fine. What's up?

Well, I wanted to
apologize for last night.

No need. I would
have done it for anyone.

I know that about you.

I also know that
we're friends, Jake,

and that's all we should be.

Well, that's good.

I'm glad you see it that way.

So, how are you feeling?

Uh, it's a little sore,
but I'm all right.

Well, I have just
the remedy for that,

a steak for your face.

Steak to eat, 6 pack of beer
and the Lakers on TV tonight.

Oh, that's perfect,
Sydney, thank you.

Wait I have enough for 2.

That's ok, I have
a big appetite.

Just be tasteful for once
and don't say a word.

Oh, I wasn't going to say much,

just that I brought Jake
over some dinner for 2.

Sorry you can't join us, but

he needs to take it easy after
that fight he got into over me.

You know, Syd, just when
I think you've bottomed out,

you always manage
to outdo yourself.

The Palomino. Hmm, real classy.

Jake didn't seem to mind it.

And you can stop trying
to make me jealous.

We're not seeing
each other anymore.

But I want you to know
that I ended it because

it was the right thing
to do for me.

Sure, Jane, whatever,
but did you really think

you ever had a chance with him?

I mean, you may design
clothes with sex appeal,

but you don't exactly have any.

You're deranged.

I got to tell ya, my feet
are killing me because,

uh, normally as you know,
if you watch my show,

I work with a couch, so if anybody
out there's got a sofa, I...

by the way, I thought
I was a pro selling love

5 nights a week on television,

but you advertising
executives, you guys...

Hey, there's something I
want to do before you win...

my deodorant
should be fresher...

kiss the nominee.

And that was while shaking
the hand of the last winner.

When did that happen?

You got me.

Moving on to the nominations
for the next award,

the best print ad.

And the nominees are...
Gregory Nations,

the Wilen Group
for Saratoga Tools.

David Berick, Huntley
Advertising for Porter Tires.

Amanda Woodward,
D and D Advertising

for Grandstand Electronics.

Just in case, good luck.

Thank you.

And Alison Parker,
D and D Advertising

for Glorious Gowns.

Of all the heartless maneuvers,
nominating yourself when you know

I may never get a shot at this.

Amanda, I only
nominated myself...

and the winner, best print ad...

Alison Parker, D and D
Advertising, Glorious Gowns.

I knew she would win all along.

Uh, I have to say I...

I did not expect this.

At all. Um...

I don't have a speech
written on index cards or...

Or a list of people to thank...

Come on, let's go.
I'm starting to feel nauseous.

Um, oh, I would like to thank

my wonderful associate,
Billy Campbell...

and everyone at the graphics
department at D and D.

My friends who've been
so supportive and, um...

and Amanda Woodward,
the best in the business.

Thank you.

I can't deal with this.
I'm losing it all at once.

Does everything have
to be taken away from me?

No, not everything.

I love you, Amanda, like I've never
loved anybody before in my life.

Not Kimberly, not Jane.

And you're not going to lose me.

I promise you that.