Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 3, Episode 16 - Bye, Bye Baby - full transcript

I appreciate you
coming out so early.

Ohh. Ha ha.

Who was that?

Nanny reject number 8.

Oh.

I'm just ready to panic.

I've seen 20 million people
and no one is right.

Maybe you're being
a little too critical.

No, it's not me, it's them.

They're either too
young, they're too old.

I just can't trust them or
they want to run my life.



I can take care of the baby
tomorrow if that will help.

You? Yeah, me.

What's that look for?

No, I mean, I appreciate
the thought, but, um,

you're not exactly
the nanny I had in mind.

What I need is someone full-time
starting an hour ago.

Hello?

Mr. And Mrs. Reynolds?

Uh, I'm Jo Reynolds.

I understand you're
looking for a nanny?

Yes, I am.

Emily Baldwin at your service.

May I?

Yes.



My God, it's Mary Poppins.

The past 3 years were in
London under the employ

of Lord and Lady Collings,
tending their 2 children.

Alexandria and Catherine.

Yes. But they wanted
to move further north

and I couldn't bare the English
winters one more minute.

I was lured here
by the endless summer.

And you've been here 2 weeks?

Yes.

I've written the
children every night.

I'm afraid I've become
unabashedly sentimental.

Oh, may I?

Yeah, sure.

It's the heart beat.

Brings them back to the womb.

But it's also instinct.

You'll develop yours as
soon as the fear wears off.

Well, your references are great
and you obviously know babies.

I'd like you to take
the job, Emily.

Oh, I'd like that.

And I think baby and I
are already friends.

And what is baby's name?

I don't know yet.

Waiting for inspiration.

Ah, I understand.

Names reflect history and
represent the future.

Yes, they do.

Where's his father?

Actually, I'm having some family
problems right now, Emily.

And what I really wish
is that my baby

and I could be invisible.

Where I'm from, discretion
is the better part of valor.

Now, have you
had your breakfast?

No.

Well, I think we might
take a little care

of Mother while
we're at it as well.

The kitchen is that way?

Mm-hmm.

Hi. Good morning.

Who are you?

Excuse me.

And what are you
doing at my desk

on my phone and on my computer?

Those 4-part
questions are tough.

Do I have to answer
them in order?

Think of this as "Jeopardy."

You have 3 seconds to answer or
I have security throw you out.

I'm the new efficiency expert.

I worked with Peter Burns in
Minneapolis and he hired me.

Not until I hear it from him.

Hey, Peter, sorry
to have you on hold.

Say good morning to Amanda.

Good morning, Amanda.

Amanda Woodward, Caitlin Mills.

Listen, Amanda, I, uh,
I hired Caitlin to clarify

job descriptions, see that
nothing's getting duplicated

and no one's twiddling their
thumbs at 4:00 in the afternoon.

Give her anything she needs,
would you please?

Thanks for the clarification.

Don't mention it.

Thank you, Peter.

See you at lunch.

Looks like I won
the bonus round.

Better luck next time.

Ahh.

I just came to say good-bye.

I was just coming
to look for you.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Alison, I couldn't have come
through this without you.

I didn't want to leave without
telling you that.

I know. I feel the same way.

It's like you and I hold a
mirror up to each other.

Sometimes I feel like I
don't even have to speak.

Do you have a ride?

Yeah. My friend Billy is
coming to pick me up.

Here's my home phone number
in case of an emergency.

Ha.

OK.

One day at a time.

You're going to be fine.

So are you.

We better go.

Yeah.

Let me get this.

Billy Campbell, Terry Parsons.

Nice to meet ya.

Same here.

Take care of yourself.

You too.

Terry Parsons, the quarterback?

Yep.

Oh, you guys seem pretty chummy.

Well, I guess that
happens when you spend

28 days straight with someone.

Yeah, I guess.

How dare you hire an efficiency
expert without consulting me.

I'm protecting my investment.

I know how competent Caitlin is and I
hired her to make your job easier.

Not when she's using
my secretary, she isn't.

Well, so hire
a temp for the week.

I already did
and it's a moot point.

I told you, I don't work
well being second-guessed.

Amanda, you're looking
at this all wrong.

She's one of the best
in the country

and she just became available.

It was a judgment call.

Then it should
have been made by me.

I'll help smooth things out,
but this isn't an option.

Now, can you make it work?

Oh, and about dinner tonight,

could you wear that black dress
with the cut-outs?

I want you brilliant,
but more notably

I want you beautiful
and I want to show you off.

Hey, you bump me off
2 surgeries today?

At least you're consistent.

So?

So, do you know what
message that sends?

I'm a screw-up. Don't
let me in your O.R.

Not to mention how many residents
get more hours than I do.

I'm leaving. We're not finished.

It's simple, Mancini.
I don't like you.

Yeah, well, you're
putting patients at risk

and you're sabotaging my career.

You call it sabotage,
I call it management.

Now, get out. I'm in a meeting.

Ah.

How did I ever let you talk me
into re-hiring him?

Back then you
couldn't say no to me.

I can now.

I missed you.

You, too.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm going to be.

Can I have your
attention please?

Ah, a toast to Alison.

Wishing her love, health,

wealth and the time
to enjoy them.

Here, here.

Hmm.

And here's to putting
the past behind us.

It's sparkling cider.

It tastes like champagne.

Yeah.

Alison, anything you need,

you want to talk, whatever,
I'm hear for ya.

Thanks, Matt. It means a lot.

Party. Guess you guys just
forgot to invite me. Ha ha ha.

Ah, it's a welcome
home for Alison.

Oh, great, but I guess I won't be
seeing you around Shooters anymore?

A little "I'm glad
you're home" gift.

Oh, Jane.

Oh, wow.

Oh, it's incredible.

Oh. Ha ha ha.

Leave it to Jane to come up with
a salute to sobriety present.

There. Have fun, everybody.

I have to work for a living.

Guys, um, I'm going to turn in.

I'm... I'm really tired.

I still haven't unpacked.

I've got bills up to my ears.

Thank you, everybody.

Good night, Alison.

I know you were responsible
for this party.

I appreciate it.

Well, I just want you to know
that I'm glad you're back.

Good night.

Who wants one? I'll have one.

Thank you. Here you go.

Thanks.

Cheers.

Here's to rehab.

So, tell me Dr. Roth,

would you say
Don Caldwell's success

is due to an efficiency expert?

It's probably not the
time or place, Amanda.

Actually, I'm Don Caldwell's
efficiency expert

and I've been
with the company 18 years.

Oh, there's something secure
about never changing jobs,

isn't there?

Peter, I do hope you'll
find the time to make

use of the company condo
in Mystic this year.

And you're welcome
to bring Amanda.

Oh, well, thank you.
We may take you up on that.

Well, it was a pleasure
to meet you, Amanda.

Thank you.

What is it that you do?

I'm one of the top ad
executives in Los Angeles,

but you can think of me
as Peter's girlfriend.

Gorgeous, smart, charming,
you're a lucky man.

Well, we make our own luck.

Well, good luck
with your research.

I hope it turns out well.

Thank you very much.

Here.

Thanks.

Thank you, good night.
Good night.

♪ Hush, little baby,
don't say a word ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy
you a mockingbird ♪

♪ And if that
mockingbird don't sing ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy
you a diamond ring ♪

You're a natural mother.

Oh, God.

You know I've heard people
talk about a mother's love,

but living it and feeling
it is so different.

I can honestly
say there is nothing

I wouldn't do for this child.

How would Mother
like some hot cocoa?

I'd love some.

I'll be right back.

♪ If that diamond
ring turns to brass ♪

♪ Mama's gonna buy you
a looking glass ♪

Hi, it's Emily.

I'm in.

You're amazing,
absolutely amazing.

Oh, do tell.

No, I'm not going
to swell your head.

Why? Afraid I'll start
to swagger when I walk?

All right.

Last night was great.

You made me look like
a king at dinner

and you made me feel
like one afterwards.

Pardon me while I strut.

Ha ha ha.

Amanda, I know that Caitlin
has been hard for you to take,

but let's not miss
the point here.

It's to make your life easier.

So, the irony that she
actually makes things worse

shouldn't escape you.

It doesn't.

Especially when I viewed an
efficiency expert as my gift.

A gift?

Ah, for being
so demanding on you.

And it's doubly upsetting that
it's annoying the hell out of you.

I appreciate the
thought and I'm sure

she costs a fortune, but
she diminishes my power.

Temporarily.

The more efficient
your employees are,

the more you'll be.

This way you can
target your wrath.

I already do.

Patience, my dear.

Some people even think
it's a virtue.

So, um, Peter, what's this
research project you're doing?

It's a heart drug
called Cardipril.

Tests improve
peripheral circulation

in my cardiac patients.

They're paying
for a 2-year study.

I could answer the
question in 2 minutes.

Really?

OK, 5, but it's their dime.

I send them about
10 million a year

in hospital supply contracts.

They can afford to send a
little philanthropy my way.

I can't believe you're
moving back to New York.

When did you decide to do that?
Over breakfast?

No, I decided the minute
I got my baby back.

I wasn't going to say anything, but
I had some logistical problems

and I guess I just needed
to say it out loud, huh?

Why New York?

Because it's a good
place to be anonymous.

I'm gonna miss ya. Both of ya.

Thanks, Jake.

OK, now I want a picture
of you and the baby.

Yeah, I, uh,
I don't know about this.

I promise he won't break.

Oh, shh.

Fine, fine, OK.

OK, all right.

Hurry up, come on.

Don't look so scared.

Come on, just take the picture.

Ha ha.

OK, right there, right there.

I've come up with a name.

Austin.

It's where my parents
went to college.

That's a nice thought.
It's a great name.

Smile.

Oh, no, no, I take
horrible pictures.

Come on, Emily.

No. For posterity, come on.

No, no pictures.

Emily. It's for posterity.
Come on now, just one.

Let me take one of you.

Oh, that's a wonderful
idea, splendid idea.

Come on, come on, out you go.

Out you go. All right.

Go on. OK, OK.

This will be beautiful.

Closer, closer, closer.

Big smiles. Big smiles.

Yes, that's right. Good, good.

Oh, beautiful. Lovely. Lovely.

Yes. Oh.

I would have thought
your first day back

you would have come in early.

What did you think I was going
to do?

Fetch coffee and
order you breakfast?

No.

D and D has turned into a war zone
with double the work

and the scrutinous eye
of an efficiency expert.

I can't soften the blow
on either front.

I'm not looking for
preferential treatment.

I feel great and...

Am rested and ready to do
battle 16 hours a day.

I'm relieved to hear it

because frankly I don't have the
time or the energy to hand hold.

Anyway, I want you to
familiarize yourself

with all of these and meet
me here tonight at 7:00.

Oh, um, I have to make it 6:00.

I have an AA meeting at 7:00.

I'll work all night
after that if I have to.

I want to work hard, Amanda,
and I can handle it.

Fine, here at 6:00.

Can I give you a hand?

No thanks, I got it.

Something wrong?

No, it's just a lot all at once.

I'll bet.

It's a new job requirement,

the ability to go from
zero to 50 in 4 seconds.

Ah, so I see.

How about dinner tonight?

In or out, your call.

It will have to be
after my AA meeting.

I still might have
some work to do.

Well, then we'll order in.

That way you can read
and have your favorite.

Sahaswan from Ming Pagoda.

I'd like that.

Cool.

You walk in here
again without knocking,

you'll be fired so fast
your head will spin.

Whoa, speak freely, Amanda.

Don't be shy.

Actually, I came in here
to commend you.

You do have a good staff here.

I'm particularly impressed
with Billy Campbell.

You're right, he's great,

but I want you
to fire Alison Parker.

If efficiency is the goal,

we'd be much more
efficient without her.

I can't fire her, but you can.

Why would I want to?

Uh, we have too much
to do around here

without having to wait for an alcoholic
account executive to fall off the wagon.

I'm an alcoholic.

7 years sober.

I apologize.

Alison's different.

She hasn't even
been sober 7 weeks.

Yeah, well, my
perspective on that

as is everyone at D and D,
is one day at a time.

Keep coming back.

It works if you work it.

Hi.

Hi. I got your message.

I would have called you back,

but you never gave me your
number and you're not listed.

Ha. I'm sorry.

It's OK.

Do you want to go get
coffee or something?

I want to spend time
with you but, I... I...

See you later, Jerry.

I don't think I'm ready
to go out and deal

with the public just yet after
what I've been through.

I understand.

I don't want you to
take this the wrong way,

but would you like
to come back to my place?

We could rent a movie,
order Chinese.

I swear I'll behave myself.

I'd love to.

Great.

Let's go.

Oh, jeez.

I never figured you
for the dark alley type.

What's up?

I want to know the status of

a research study
Peter's heading up.

Wow, this is rich.

Let me guess, he's
got something on you

and now you want to get
something on him.

I'm just interested in his work.

Oh, yeah, right.

And sometimes a cigar
is just a cigar.

Why do you always have to
give me such a hard time?

Because any request from you has
a built-in degree of difficulty.

And if I'm going to play informant
to get myself in hot water,

then I want to know why and
I want to know what.

The what is a study for
the heart drug Cardipril,

Don Caldwell makes it.

The why is unimportant.

Oh, not to me.

Not when it comes to
breaking and entering.

Look, I got you your
job back, you owe me.

Just do it.

Sure.

Anything for you, Amanda.

Hello?

Hi, it's me.

Hey, great timing.

I got Ming Pagoda's new
menu and a movie rented.

I can't make it.

My AA meeting went on and on.

And I still have
a ton of work to do.

Well, you can work
here if you want to.

I can't.

If I go there,
I'll be distracted.

I just... I'd rather not.

I'm sorry.

No problem.

I appreciate you going through

all the trouble
to get everything.

I'll see you tomorrow?

OK, I'll see you later.

What's your pleasure?

Film channel...
Comedy, drama, classic.

I don't know. What do you like?

I'm a comedy kind of a guy.

And you are?

Don't tell me, let me guess.

Ha ha.

Hmm.

Yeah?

What am I?

You are very beautiful.

Hi. / Hi.
Do you have a minute?

Sure, what's up?

Caitlin Mills, she's making
life hell for everyone.

That's an understatement.

But she's seems to have
taken a liking to you.

Whatever you've said
or done, impressed her.

So, I want you
to invite her to dinner,

charm her and find
out what she wants.

Don't you think that goes above
and beyond the call of duty?

I thought you
were a team player.

What? Come on.

Playing detective is not
in my job description.

Yes, it is.

Contracts are all
in the interpretation.

Good morning.

You look worried. What's wrong?

Hmm.

I was up half the night
thinking you're a sex addict.

Did you just fall off the wagon?

No.

I have feelings for you.

It's not even remotely close.

Oh, God.

What I wouldn't give to stay
in bed with you all day.

Oh, I'd love that.

But they're picking me
up for practice in 20 minutes.

Rain check?

Sure.

Unless you want to
keep them waiting.

I can't, but we could
get together tonight

after my network interview.

Or come with me
for guaranteed boredom.

Ha ha.

I can't imagine your being
boring at anything.

Come to KTTV.

It's on Sunset Boulevard,
at 7:00.

I'll be there.

I'll leave your name
at the front gate.

Yeah.

Funding denied.

Discontinued... May, '93.

You sneaky little bastard.

Yeah, this is Dr. Mancini.

Can you connect me with the,
um, accounting department

at the Don Caldwell
Company in Simi Valley?

Yeah.

Yes, hello, um, this is
Dr. Peter Burns' assistant

and I'm calling about his check
for his Cardipril study.

His last check, yeah.

Uh-huh.

I'll hold.

Yeah. Yes, exactly.

The check dated this Thursday.

Right, well, uh,
he just wanted to call

and say thanks
for being so prompt.

Right.

OK, bye.

Gotcha.

Hi.

Hi.

How was your meeting last night?

Great.

Supportive,
strengthening, reassuring.

Oh, it's amazing one night
could be so many things.

Yeah, I guess
that's why it works.

So, how did you make
out with those files?

Files?

Yeah, you gave me the impression
you were up to your neck in them.

Oh, yeah, well, you know,
it's all so overwhelming.

I did nothing for a month

and then I got a month's
worth of work in one day.

But I finished.

I, uh, I called you at 11:00
and I came by at 11:30.

You didn't answer and your
answering machine wasn't on.

I was exhausted.
I feel asleep around 10:00.

Didn't even have dinner?

No, I didn't.

You should take
care of yourself.

So, how about lunch?

Let's... let's play it by ear.

As if having Amanda on
my back isn't bad enough,

I've now got
to answer to Caitlin.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Well, look, I'll keep
my lunch plans open.

Either way it's no big deal.

I need to talk to you.

Well, then make an appointment

like the rest
of the little people.

I'm busy.

Uh, I'll talk fast.

We have surgery in 10 minutes.

Correction, I have
surgery in 15 minutes.

Grant application number 17004,

the effects of Cardipril
on peripheral circulation.

Does that ring a bell?

No.

It was cut off last May because

there were too many other
studies going on just like it.

So?

So, why are you getting money
from Don Caldwell to conduct it?

They're not even
a pharmaceutical company.

They manufacture surgical
equipment and supplies.

And now they're branching out.

Into kickbacks and bribes?

This has got your
fingerprints all over it.

You're insane, Mancini.

And how dare you walk into my
office and try to strong arm me.

Oh, easy.

I've got proof.

And if I talk, you got
2 feet in the bucket.

Nice pen.

You know, I may be insane,

but I think the board would hate
to find out its chief of staff

is covered in dirt, but we
can talk about this later.

We really should be going.

The O.R. hates it
when you're late.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Terry, I'm a really
big fan of yours.

Thank you.

Hey. Sorry.

Here you go.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Mr. Parsons?

Mr. Parsons, can I have
your autograph please?

Sure, you can.

Man: All right, folks,
give him some air.

Welcome back, Terry.

Thanks very much.

OK, get back please.
Give him some air.

Alison.

Are you OK?

Yeah. I guess I wasn't
ready to do battle.

Listen, I made
a reservation for us,

someplace quite and remote.

Sounds great.

Good.

The car is right this way, Mr.
Parsons. All right.

What are you having?

The sea bass.

I'll have
the blackened scallops.

He'll have the sea bass
and the '91 Sancerre

for the gentleman and I'll have
your best mineral water please.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

I wasn't born yesterday.

I know your history
with Amanda and I

know this seek-and-search
mission is her idea.

Now, wait a minute.

Don't insult my intelligence
please, Campbell.

I'm smarter than most people
you'll ever meet in your lifetime.

And I think you might as
well know now that I'm,

well, Dr. Burns at my
say so is planning

to fire everyone on
your team except you.

Why not me?

Because you're young and
smart and you can write.

That's an asset
on any management team.

So, when is all
this gonna happen?

I'm not sure, but I need
confidential performance reports

on all personnel by tomorrow,
preferably midday.

And in case you're wondering,

this is a loyalty test.

Well, I guess this dinner wasn't
such a good idea after all.

I will grant you one wish

since you're the one
person that I'm keeping.

Anyone's butt you want to save?

Emily?

Can you come in here
for a minute please?

This is so hard
to say, but, um...

I'm going to have to let
you go and it's not you.

You've been great.

You're firing me?

I'm sorry, um, I'll give
you an extra week's pay.

All I can tell you is that
I, um, have to leave town.

Oh, my God. What's happened?

I can't talk about it.

Just know that you've
really meant a lot to me

and I feel terrible
having to do this.

Where are you going?
Can I write you?

Call you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's OK.

I guess all I can really say
is that I just wish you

and little Austin the very best.

But you don't have a car.

No, we're flying.

Well, then I'll drive you
to the airport.

No, that's OK,
we can take a taxi.

Oh, no, I won't hear of it.

Please. Let me do this last bit
of tending the 2 of you.

OK.

Now, you should go to bed.

You look exhausted and you've
got a long day tomorrow.

OK.

Oh, Emily.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Don't worry, little Austin,

your new mommy is going
to give you a real name.

It's nice to see you so happy.

Thanks.

It must have been awful,

but you did it and you
came out the other side.

Yeah.

I know I can't stop
talking about him.

But, um, I don't know if I could
have done it without Terry.

Oh, wait a minute, Alison.

OK, you're...
You're right.

And I have enough self-esteem
to know that I could have,

it's just, um, this program
makes you look at things

you want to keep hidden and Terry
helped make the dark accessible.

And then he made
it safe to be there.

He sounds really special.

He is.

And this... whatever
this is, is so honest.

No pressure, no expectations,
no commitments.

Just keep both eyes open.

I mean, you're still
in a transition period.

Just because it went
so well in rehab

doesn't mean you have things
in common on the outside.

I have more in common with him

than any man
I've ever been with.

Don't get me wrong, Alison,
I wish the best for you.

I just... I think that you should take
it slow and be careful with it.

Terry's a celebrity,
separate rules apply.

He's different.

I know him.

I am the last person
in the world who should

talk about men right
now, so, I'm sorry.

And of course he's
special. He has you.

If you think I'm going to forget

about this baby business,
Michael, you're crazy.

Relax, babe. Change of plans.

I'm going to become Burns'
chief assistant in surgery.

And if I had wings,
I'd be an airplane.

I operate with him every day.

He sees my talent up close and
personal, he makes me partner.

We get all the money we need.

That sounds just great, Michael.

There's only one little
flaw, he hates you.

And I've got dirt
on that slime bag

that will do wonders
for my career.

I can't wait
to hear all about it.

Woman: D and D.

Amanda Woodward, please.

May I ask who's calling?

Michael Mancini.

Please hold.

Amanda:
So, what did you find out?

That the research grant
is on the up and up.

And that the project
is important.

You know, if Burns keeps
doing studies like these,

he's going to be
a very famous man.

Ugh.

Come in.

Performance reports.

Every confidential file that
Caitlin asked for.

Put them on the chair.
Caitlin's waiting for them.

All right, give them to me.

Accounting has been acting against
policy to make vendors happy.

Why?

Self-interest.

It ensures their relationships.

We pay early, but we lose money.

Oh, don't tell me, Caitlin
found out and told Peter.

Is that what she
told you at dinner?

No, but in a nutshell,
I'd watch your back.

I don't know if
she wants you job,

but I don't think she wants
you to have it either.

This isn't advertising,
it's guerilla warfare.

Whoever's standing at
the end of the day wins.

Yeah, well, it's not going to be me
unless I get these files to her.

Not until I go through these
and do some creative editing.

I have secretaries
making comments about me?

"She's mean and vindictive and
often takes credit for my work."

Oh.

I told her I'd get these files
to her as soon as possible.

And you will.

I've seen you pull off
some amazing coups,

but this one beats all.

To you, my dear,
the most dazzling

and vindictive mind
since Machiavelli.

Not to mention
the most beautiful model

of efficiency I've ever seen.

Even you have to admit
an efficiency expert

was a brilliant idea.

You always were a snoop.

So, when did you end
this relationship

with Amanda Woodward?

As soon as you decided
that I was more

important than your career
and decided to move to L.A.

I decided that
the moment you left.

You know, it's amazing the kind
of visceral reaction you evoke.

Good.

Now we have a little
house cleaning to do.

You should be the one to
tell Amanda she's fired.

You're too good to me.

First, Amanda,
then Michael Mancini,

and then maybe
a third world country.

I still can't believe
you're here.

You didn't really think that I
would let you go lose in L.A.

All by yourself, did you?

Are you all right?

Yeah, I just can't believe
I'm leaving this place,

all these people.

Oh.

I understand.

But right now you've got
more important business

to take care of.

Yeah, you're right.

Oh, do you need
a hand with that?

Oh, no, thank you, I'm fine.

Thanks for borrowing the car
seat and everything else.

Oh, you're welcome and
you can stop thanking me

all the time, it's my pleasure.

OK, thanks anyway.

Come on.

Shh. I'll be right there.

Say good-bye to Mommy.

No!

No!

No!