Melrose Place (1992–1999): Season 2, Episode 1 - Much Ado About Everything - full transcript

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hello?

Where are you?
Everybody's already here.

Listen.

Never knew Amanda
knew this many people.

All for a housewarming party.

I'll be there as soon
as I finish this report.

Amanda wants it by
tomorrow morning.

Billy, come on!



You said you'd dance.

I promise, in a second.

Okay.

Where was I?

You were about to go
dance with Amanda.

That holding your hand over
the phone rarely works.

Well, if you were here...

Go, dance with her.

I'll get there when I get there.

Bye.

♪ ♪

Bill, I'm not kidding.

I've got to get this done.

Billy?



Bitch! I know where you are.

Oh... Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, no.

Oh!

Alison. Ah!

What's wrong?

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh. He called again.

The sicko, and I thought
he was in the building.

I heard your footsteps and I...

When you didn't
show up at the party

I got worried, so I came over.

It's like he always
knows where I am,

like he's watching me.

Come on, I'm taking
you out of here.

Oh, thank God it was you.

♪ ♪

Matt. Yeah?

Put these on next, okay?

Uh, you got it.

Thanks.

Love the building, Amanda.

Very retro.

Oh, well don't get
too used to it.

I've got all kinds
of changes in mind.

Hey. What is this?

Are you trying to avoid me?

Try finding anybody
in this place.

Who are all these people?

Friends, people I work
with, total strangers.

Well, they're gonna
trash the place.

Relax, Billy. I own the place.

Dance with me.

♪ ♪

Look at Jake.

What do you call
a woman like that?

She's too young to be a tramp.

A bimbo? Bimbette?

How about, "whore"?

It's been a rough week.

Anyway, I thought
you guys agreed

to date other people.

Yeah, but usually there's
a period of adjustment.

A week or two at least.

Listen, Jo, you are
better off on your own.

I don't know.

All he did was ask me
to move in with him.

Mm-hmm, and you bailed out

before things got too ugly,

just like it did
with Michael and me.

A person can get so blinded
by that initial infatuation.

But with every other aspect
of my life, I take chances...

With my photography,
with my friends,

my career, and with
relationships, I just...

I play it so safe. What is that?

Good thinking,
that's what it is.

You're a free woman again, Jo!

Come on, full speed ahead.

No looking back.

♪ ♪

Oh, hey! Hi!

How are ya?

Drinks are at my place,

food's at Amanda's.

Okay.

♪ ♪

So, you made it.

Hey, what's at our apartment?

Pin the tail on the donkey?

Isn't this great?

I already feel like
one of the gang.

Where have you been?

The office.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry
to pile so much work

on you over the weekend.

Would you excuse us?

Excuse me.

Come on, let's get a drink.

Yeah, sure.

I don't want to
sound like a jerk,

but who invited Keith?

I did.

I swear, he'll be leaving

for Seattle any time,
no more than a week.

He's just worried about me,

with the calls and...

I got another
one tonight, at work.

You shouldn't have
been there alone.

Would you...

You know, we really
have to talk about this.

I'm okay.

Keith showed up,
and it all worked out.

What's the deal?

Have you told him, you know,

that we're a... A couple?

I'm working up to it.

Well, what about Amanda?

She certainly doesn't seem

to be getting
the message either.

Okay, then... Then we'll tell

them both tonight, all right?

After the party.

We'll set the record straight.

Both of us.

Right after the party.

♪ ♪

Oh, thank you.

Sorry, Billy, I didn't
get you anything.

Eh, don't worry about me.

Perfect.

Is that still cold?

So, is this the plan?

To ignore each other all night?

Just trying to have fun.

I hadn't noticed.

Actually, I was
gonna take a walk.

Matt!

Someone just kicked over
one of your speakers.

Oh! Excuse me.

Listen, Billy, don't
run off tonight.

I'm gonna need some help
around here cleaning up.

Especially my place.

Sure.

So, this is kind of weird.

Guess we're not very good
at being broken up.

Surprising, considering
how much practice we've had.

Look, you know,
the way I see it,

nothing is ever
written in stone.

I mean, you think it is,

and then one week
you change your mind,

everything looks different.

Haven't changed my mind.

I need a commitment.

I mean, it's just...

Dating, or whatever
we've been doing, I...

Look, before you get
too far into this,

I agree with you.

If you don't want
to move in with me, I...

Jake, I agree with you!

Let's do it. Let's
move in together.

I mean, I was afraid before

because of my marriage

and everything I went through,

and I was afraid it was

gonna happen again, but we...

We've been through too much

these last few months.

I want to do it.

I want to go to the
next step with you.

I mean, if you want to.

Come on, move it!

Get out of the way!

I really appreciate this, Billy.

Those vodka tonics
really sneak up on you.

They've been known to do that.

Billy?

Are you coming?

Come on.

Yeah.

I kept thinking anybody
could have been him.

At least Billy kept
our door locked.

Oh, no. Thank you.

Tired enough as it is.

I never really pictured Amanda

as the social butterfly type.

Social moth, maybe.

A black widow, definitely.

Oh, Amanda in the morning,

Amanda at work,

Amanda at night.

Amanda just a ceiling away.

Hmm.

What am I saying?

We're really quite close.

I think.

You never really
know with Amanda.

Oh, the place is
really coming along.

Thanks.

Give me a hand with
this, would you?

It weighs a ton.

What's up?

Well... uh...

Uh, I think we should talk.

Since you're gonna
be moving in now,

and we're gonna be living

in such close proximity,

I think you should know

that Alison and I are together.

I mean, really together,

if that makes any sense.

I'll read between the lines.

And I know that, you know,

since my accident
and your pregnancy

and what happened,
that, you know,

we've been close...

Or closer... And, um...

what I'm trying to say is...

You love Alison, exclusively?

Yes, I love Alison.

And I just wanted to
be up front about that

so you and I could stay friends.

Look, Billy, this isn't
exactly a huge revelation.

I mean, true, I was slow
to get the message at first,

but I've got it now.

Cool.

So, the two of us,
you and I, being friends?

I hate it.

But, what's a girl to do?

You and Alison have my blessing.

Hey, Alison!

I was just tucking her in.

Yeah, well I can handle
things from here.

Good night, Keith.

Morning!

Oh, morning, Jane.

Oh, here, let me get that.

Should have made two
trips, but I'm late.

It's all right.
What the hell is this?

Divorce papers.

I come out of O.R.

and find this jerk
waiting for me to...

I told you I was
getting a divorce.

Now, I made that clear
to both you and Kimberly,

so don't make this seem like

it's coming out of the blue.

Oh, come on.

You could have called.

You could have warned me.

Oh, what's the point?

My mind is made up,

and so was yours the minute

you went to bed with Kimberly.

I'll just wait back here.

Now, who's this attorney?

Where did you find him?

An ad on TV.
It doesn't matter, Michael.

TV. It's a no-fault divorce.

Sign the papers, and that's it.

Oh, yeah?

We split everything 50/50.

Mental cruelty?

What's no-fault about that?

A formality, and I
am finished talking...

No formality. It's a lie!

And I'm not admitting
to mental cruelty,

or anything else.

You know, I'm a doctor.

This could hurt my reputation.

Oh, please!

The only thing hurting
here is your pride.

Save us both a lot of trouble

and just sign the paper.

Forget it!

I am not signing anything.

I have a say in this,

and I'm not doing it, huh?

Now what are you gonna
do about that, huh?

Michael, Michael!
Get your hands off me!

Listen, I understand what
you're going through, man.

Oh, yeah? Really?

I lost everything
when she threw me out.

I lost my apartment
and all my friends,

and in case you haven't noticed,

everyone's taking her side.

Maybe because she's
the one who got hurt.

Matt, I'm not really in the mood

for one of your
sanctimonious lectures!

So why don't you save it for
the disadvantaged masses,

or whoever it is you work with?

Look...

Matt, look, I'm sorry.

That was out of line.

No, Michael.

I didn't think it was.

In fact, I think
it's right in line

with all the rest of
the crap you're pulling.

Now, excuse me, I gotta
get out of here.

Good morning.

So, you didn't waste any time.

Well, I grabbed some
of Amanda's old boxes

before they went to recycling.

I figure 12 ought to do.

Start this morning,

finish packing tonight,

have you moved in by tomorrow.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

What is this assumption
that I'm moving in with you?

Well that was the
plan, wasn't it?

To live together, yes.

But that you'd move in with me.

Jake, think about it.

This... I've got
my dark room here,

I have an extra bedroom.

It's... It's bigger.

It's cleaner.

Yeah, but is it comfortable?

I am very comfortable here.

Sorry, I didn't know
it was such a big deal.

I'll tell you what we'll do.

What, you're gonna...
You're gonna flip for it?

Come on. Call it.

Head... tails! Tails!

It's heads. You lose.

Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa...

You'll be very happy here.

I just want you to
know something, okay?

What?

I'm a really... great... loser.

Good.

Come here.

Yes, you are.

Hi!

Michael, it's
absolutely perfect.

How do you do?

It's furnished and everything.

All we have to do is

sign the papers and move in.

I'll leave you two
to look around.

Kimberly, call me at the
office when you've decided.

Okay, thanks, Lynn, bye.

Okay, first of all,

every night, a perfect sunset.

Then... come here, come here.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

A fireplace. More views.

It's a one bedroom,
and very affordable.

And Michael, if we
pool our resources,

it shouldn't hurt too much.

Oh!

I've always dreamed of living

in a place like this.

I've been saving
my money, you know?

Waiting until the time
was just perfect.

You hate it. You hate it!

No, no. I think it's great.

I'm just a little preoccupied.

These came today.

Divorce papers.

It's simple, a
50/50 arrangement.

A quickie, no-frills divorce.

"Painless and cheap."

Isn't that what
you said you wanted?

Oh, just a little abrupt.

A slap in the face.

Look at it this way...

This is an end

to something that
wasn't working.

And this, getting our own place,

is a new beginning.

If you ask me, the timing

couldn't be more perfect.

So, when do we move in?

I'm thinking we're
wrong to assume

that it's someone
from work or a client.

I was outside in the
courtyard last night,

and three neighboring buildings

have view of your windows.

Your stalker could
be a neighbor,

or a friend of a neighbor.

I think I'm gonna do

some discreet poking around.

Oh, no.

Keith, you've already sacrificed

way too much of your time.

Don't get me wrong,
I appreciate it.

I really do. It's...

it's made things
kind of awkward.

Billy and I, our
relationship has

developed into what you might

call a romance.

What I'm trying to say...

is, I love him.

And your being around again,

it's... It's difficult.

How am I gonna put this?

We can only be friends.

No...

Yeah.

I guess that's what I mean,

if it's all right.

Don't worry about it.

I understand.

Frankly, I'd pretty
well figured it out.

In fact, I was planning
on heading home

as soon as I knew you were okay.

I am.

I really am.

I can take care of myself.

And, there's Billy.

Okay to admit I'm disappointed?

I'd do anything for you, Alison,

Billy or no Billy.

I hope you know that.

I do.

I really do.

Jane, you are letting
him off way too easy.

She is right.

You've been through

so much crap with this guy...

Medical school, his internship,

managing this building.

Only now it's Kimberly
who benefits

while Michael becomes
a big-time surgeon.

And you are left to
eke out a modest living

on your own.

You have every right to sue
him for future earnings.

You've earned that right.

I've told you guys,

that is not what this is about.

But it's open and shut.

You literally caught the bastard

with his pants down.

All I want is my freedom.

A chance to start over.

Look, I felt the same way.

You're tired of the hurting.

I know. So, make him hurt.

Listen, I know this attorney.

He only works for a piece

of the settlement,
and he always gets

top dollar for his clients.

Something this airtight,

he'd grab it in a second.

Nope, it's not me.

It just isn't.

Alison, why don't you join us?

Oh, sorry. Too much work.

♪ ♪

Welcome home.

♪ ♪

I told him...

Keith, about us.

He was very understanding.

I thought we'd celebrate.

Not with this.

Or these.

♪ ♪

Sheets clean?

Yeah, you washed 'em yesterday.

We have a very
backwards relationship.

Tell me about it.

♪ ♪

Unh!

My God, what happened?

Well, it looks worse than it is.

Sit down.

I was leaving the
hotel last night,

to pick up my plane
tickets home.

Anyway, they have one of
these covered parking lots.

This guy came out of nowhere

and hit me with a tire iron.

Same thing he hit Billy with.

The same guy?

Yeah, the police think so.

I told them I'd
bring you down there.

You need to fill out forms,

answer questions,
look at mug shots.

I'll admit, a few years ago

this kind of thing wouldn't
be taken seriously.

Now, we don't mess around.

I think Miss Parker
needs to know

what's going to happen next.

Yeah.

Well, in addition to tracing

all incoming calls, we'll alert

the patrolmen in the area

to keep an eye on your building.

Personally, I'll get into your

company's employee records,

any suspicious-looking
neighbors...

I'm... I'm really trying

to keep this quiet.

No one at work

and none of my friends

really know what's going on.

I'll be discreet. Okay.

In the meantime,

any more deliveries, letters,

any other kind of contact,

I want you to call
me immediately.

Thank you.

I really appreciate this.

Thank your Mr. Gray here.

He's the one who
got this thing rolling.

Thanks very much.

Thanks.

He's right.

I owe you so much.

Hey, I got hit on the head.

It's hardly medal-worthy.

But you took charge.
You got me here.

I feel better already... Keith?

They said to expect this, a...

A little dizziness.

Oh, I'm taking you
back to your hotel.

No, really, that's okay.

I insist.

Come on.

Okay?

Yeah. Okay.

Uh, so, where did all this

stuff come from?

I mean, your place always
looked so spartan.

Well, you never looked
in the closets, did you?

Don't worry, I'll throw
a lot of it away, all right?

Anything that doesn't fit.

I think we're gonna
have a problem

with the surfboard.

Well, that's easy, you just...

Just stick in the
corner, any corner,

like at my place.

Eh, it still kind of
sticks out there.

Well, then we'll put it
in the spare room, right?

No, hey, the spare room is mine.

We agreed on that.

So, where's my space?
The broom closet?

All right, forget it.

Just put it where
you want to put it.

I've got to shower
or I'm gonna be late.

Where are we going?

I don't know where you're going.

I'm going out with
Jane and the girls.

Oh, hey, hey, I...

I wouldn't go in
there right now.

I was, um...

cleaning the carburetor.

I've seen this before,
on Broadway.

A comedy... Neil Simon, I think.

Yeah?

How did it end?

Tragically.

Where have you been?

I checked everywhere.

D and D said you called in sick.

I was with Keith.

You said he was leaving.

Someone attacked him.

What?

The same guy who attacked you,

attacked Keith.

At least, that's what
the police think.

I was at the police
station all morning.

He has a concussion.

I had to take him
back to the hospital,

then to his hotel.

It'll be a couple of days

before he can travel.

Police said to make sure

all my windows are locked.

The detective may want to talk

to you again.

I feel better having
the police involved,

but it's still scary.

They want me to
go on with my life

like nothing is happening.

How do I do that?

Well, this attack,

where did it happen?

Outside his hotel.

The same tire iron.

I tried to call you,

but you'd already left work.

Yeah, I came home
looking for you.

What do you mean,
"the same tire iron"?

The same one

the sicko hit you with.

Wait a second.

Who said I was hit
by a tire iron?

The police are confident

they'll catch the guy.

Keith is, too.

Hi!

Hi.

All: Hi.

So, Amanda is meeting
us at the restaurant.

Oh, I forgot.

I don't think I can go.

Oh, no, go.

You should get out,

go on about things
normally, right?

It's just Petrino's,
no big deal.

Come on.

Okay.

Just a sec.

Plans tonight, Billy?

Um, no, just some business.

No big deal.

No, it's more than just

my feelings towards men.

It's adjusting to
this new way of life.

Here you are.

Thank you.

I mean, do you realize

this is the first
time I have ever

had to live alone?

Really? You're kidding.

Mm-mm.

I mean, from my parents'
house to a dorm,

then Michael and I
moved in together,

got married a year later.

There has always been someone.

Well, I think it's
gonna be good for you.

You know, living alone
does have its advantages.

Mm-hmm.

Except when it comes to eating.

I mean, I hate having
to split recipes in half.

It always says, "serves two."

Did you ever notice that?

It's like...

Michael.

Yeah?

Oh. Great.

We can go somewhere else.

Oh, no. No way.

Jane's the one pushing
for the divorce.

She better get used to the fact

that I'm going on with my life.

Uh... let's go. Come on.

There's a new place
on La Cienega.

Oh, um, I'll get the check.

No.

Everyone just calm down.

I'm fine, okay?

Now let's just get
some menus and order.

Excuse me, can we
get some menus?

Okay, now...

where were we?

Recipes for one.

Moving on.

Oh, right.

Alison, how was your
doctor's visit?

Oh, um... routine.

You know how they
always make you wait.

Oh, well, you didn't miss

much at the office.

I mean, I used to
think that this was

a creative town,
but I can't find

a good person to shoot
a good product layout.

I'm available.

Oh, that's right,
I keep forgetting.

Oh, why don't you drop off

your portfolio and
I'll refresh my memory.

Excuse me.

Billy.

Come on in.

Where's Alison?

You know she's not
supposed to be left alone?

Yeah, she's at dinner
with friends.

They'll drive her home.

So, I heard you got hit

by the same guy I did.

Apparently.

Oh, going to the police,

that was a good idea.

You got hit from the front,

I got hit from behind.

Same tire iron.

It's weird.

You know, the police
never knew what hit me.

Is that right?

Yeah. A blunt object.

That's as specific
as they ever got.

Never said anything
about a tire iron.

Guess I just assumed.

Billy, is there some point
you're trying to make?

No. Because if there is,

I'd really like
to know what it is.

Look, I just stopped
by out of concern,

to see how you were doing.

I'm fine.

So I see.

All right, well,
if I don't see you

before you go back to Seattle,

take care.

I'll see ya.

Okay, so now she's
got the syringe,

and she's saying,

"Don't take a step
closer," right?

Think Frankenstein's...

I thought you hated this place.

I know how angry you were before

when I sent you the papers.

So these I wanted
to deliver personally.

You rejected the quick
and simple divorce,

so now I am getting
down and dirty.

Fresh from my new
attorney's office.

Someone Amanda recommended.

I understand he's
quite ruthless.

You got the car, the apartment.

What else is there?

Not much, unfortunately.

Which is why I'm going after

your future earnings.

You're what?

You can't do that.

Yeah, it's already in the works.

I understand Kimberly
will be the star witness

when we get to court.

Finally, something
to look forward to.

This is not you. I know you.

Sure you do.

About as well as
I thought I knew you.

As they say...

see you in court.

8:00 exactly.

You know what to do.

Hey, there.

I know it's too warm for a fire,

but I couldn't resist.

Oh, wait.

I've been working on this toast.

It's kind of corny, but...

Wait.

This can't get out.

I don't understand.

The hospital,

the people around here...

Nobody can know
we're living together.

If anybody asks,

you're just visiting.

And, I'm sorry,

but everything that's yours...

Your clothes, even your car...

We're gonna have to
keep them out of sight.

Michael, wha... What is this?

Jane, she changed the rules.

She got this new attorney,

and she's going after
my future earnings.

Why?

Why, because we ended up
at the same restaurant?

I don't know.

You know, she lost her mind.

"Hell hath no fury,"
and all that crap.

Anyway, it's gonna
cost me everything

I've got just to fight it.

I talked to an attorney.

Every deposition,
every conversation,

is another $1,000.

What I'm trying to
say, Kimberly, is...

I'm not gonna be able to afford

my half of the rent.

At least for a while.

Okay.

What do you mean, "okay"?

I mean, okay.

I mean, I'll cover the rent.

I'll lay low.

I'll do whatever you want.

Kimberly, that is so unfair.

I can't let you...

Michael...

it doesn't matter.

I love you.

I don't care what it costs.

Let's go outside.

Okay.

Out here?

Now, let's sit.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mm.

This is my fear. This!

Sitting here, and having
absolutely nothing...

Nothing... to say to each other.

I mean, we've lived together

for what, two days?

And already we're
out of material.

My mouth was full.

I was enjoying the food.

Yeah, well still,
I don't like this.

You need to take
a deep breath...

and relax.

You know you're in trouble when

a lull in the conversation

creates a panic attack.

Maybe I need to see
my shrink again.

Hey, hey.

That's my job.

Don't.

It could be work.

No.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Amanda.

Is Jake there?

I'm having an emergency up here.

Well, actually we
just sat down and...

It will only take
a second or two.

Please?

Yes, ma'am, he's
coming right up.

You're wanted in apartment four.

Coming!

Oh, thanks, Jake.
I really appreciate this.

Yeah, sure.

Whoa, what's your problem?

Sounded like something
was on fire.

Oh, um, the TV.

I got it out of the box,

but it weighs a ton,

and I need it up on the table.

Okay. Please.

Let's see.

Handy guy to have around.

Yes, he is.

Billy.

You're never gonna believe this.

I just spent the whole day

on the computer
at work researching

researching every documented

stalker case that I could find.

The same thing popped up

over and over again

in every case... Rejection.

All these stalkers feel like

they were wrongfully
rejected, all right?

And it's usually the object

of their obsession.

Okay. So?

So, the stalker feels like

he sacrificed something

for his victim, all right?

So he wants revenge.

He wants her to be needy,

he wants her to be helpless.

He thinks that everything

he does is somehow gonna

make her come back to him.

If you could just
skip to the bottom line?

Keith!

The bottom line is Keith!

He's the one that's
doing all this, Alison.

The calls, the deliveries.

It's his sick way of trying

to worm himself back
into your life.

Billy, that is ridiculous!

No, it's not!

Hi.

Keith.

I don't think this
is a very good time.

Why? What's wrong?

Nothing.

Go ahead, tell him.

Billy.

I just told Alison that I think

you're the stalker.

I think you're the one
that's terrorizing her.

You do, do you?

Yeah, I do!

I really think we
should talk about this.

You know he arrived a week
earlier than he said?

Just when you started
getting the calls?

I checked your hotel.

And I also think... I'm almost

positive that he's
the one that hit me.

He hit me, and
then he hit himself,

just so he could
get some sympathy

and throw off the suspicion.

I can't believe this.
Who the hell

do you think you are,

accusing me of
something like this?

Go ahead! Try and explain it!

And start with the tire iron!

I already did, last night.

It was a logical assumption.

Wait a second!

You guys talked last night?

Yes, I went to his hotel

to ask some questions.

He barges in like Dirty Harry.

Oh, Billy, my God!

Ask him!

Ask him why he lied
about his arrival.

Yes, I lied! I did
arrive a week earlier.

My company flew me down here,

and that's how long
it took, a week,

to work up my nerve
to see you again.

I was scared how
you might react.

I didn't want to interfere.

Yeah, and that's
all you've been doing

since the moment you got here!

Billy, stop it!

Now!

Go ahead, answer it.

I know who it's not.

Hello.

I'll kill them all.

Anyone who gets in our way.

Ah!

Your mine, bitch.

It's him.

Any other theories, Billy?

I'd better go.

If it's all right with Billy.

I'll walk you out.