McLeod's Daughters (2001–2009): Season 1, Episode 11 - Who's a Big Girl Now? - full transcript

- [Narrator] Previously
on McLeod's Daughters:

- Beck you're strong.

You're smart.

You always know what to say.

You should make people treat you better.

You should treat yourself better.

I mean you're almost glow in
the dark you're that beautiful.

- [Tess] He's cute isn't he?

- He's very nice.

I'm supposed to marry him.

Have I said that?



- Maybe she thinks I
want to take advantage

of you or something.

- Good.

Well, I hope she's right.

- You and Alex, anything happening there?

- Nah.

- You can't keep treating
me like I'm still eleven.

- I should have told you about Terry.

- He's okay, and you and him well,

I guess it's nice for you to
have someone in your old age.

- Old age?

(slow piano music)

(cows mooing)

- So this is all we do to wean calves?



We just separate them from their mothers?

- Yep.

If they continue taking milk,

the cows are too stuffed to breed again.

- [Tess] So, what do they eat instead?

Is it like weening babies?

- Yep, we give them lots of stewed pumpkin

in little bowls with little spoons.

(laughing)

- So I say, "What's
happening tomorrow night?"

And mom says, "Oh, maybe a barbecue."

A barbecue?

It's my 18th birthday.

- Well, it sounds better
than stealing a bottle

of dad's booze and spending the night

in the back of a truck
with some drop kick.

- Your mom and dad
didn't throw you a party?

- They forgot.

- Sorry, I didn't have enough
time to get you a present

for tomorrow, but you can
have the day off instead.

Okay?

- And, um, you know that
skirt of mine you like?

- Yeah.

- You can borrow it.

- Gee, thanks.

Oh, mom, about the barbecue,

can I at least invite
Jessica and Ann Murana?

- Aw, darling what if we
decide on Chinese instead?

We can't afford it.

- What if they paid for themselves?

- Oh, then we'd look cheap.

- We are cheap.

What if I pay for them?

- Jodi, you already owe me money.

- Fine!

- She hasn't got a clue
about tomorrow night.

(laughing)

♪ It'll take some time ♪

♪ To find your heart ♪

♪ And come back home ♪

♪ You could walk for miles ♪

♪ Cross every river ♪

♪ And find you're not alone ♪

♪ Cause I'll be there ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ You're not alone ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Cause I'll be there ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- Eighteen Becky, Eighteen!

And what have I don't with my life?

You know I should be at TAFE.

I should be doing hair and
makeup and fashion design

and hanging out with
friends and meeting the most

gorgeous guys in the world, but instead

I'm stuck here shoveling
cow patties until I'm 80

with no hope of ever making it anywhere.

- What's the rush?

- I'm the world's oldest virgin.

You know if I was in South America,

I'd be married with four kids by now.

- You know if you were
living in South Gangal

you'd be unmarried with
four kids right now?

It's not all it's cracked up to be.

- Maybe not for you.

Sorry, Beck, I didn't mean it like that.

It's just that, well,

everybody else has done it.

- So they say.

- I'll die a freak.

- [Meg] What do you reckon'?

- [Claire] Aw, Jodi'll love it Meg.

- Yeah, I think jewelry's always nice.

That's what I got for my 18th.

- Yeah, me too, an antique
ring topaz and pearl.

It must have cost mom a fortune,

but I lost it roller blading.

Cried for days.

- Dad got me that bottle of port.

- Oh, it's nice.

Are you sure those cows are alright?

They sound very unhappy.

- Aw, they're just missing their babies.

They'll get over it.

Hmm, it's vintage.

Let's try it.

- I played this at my 18th.

Cops came three times about the noise.

- On my 18th Shelly Thomson and I

snuck into the Bailey's and
then we went and saw Dragon.

That's where I met Kevin.

- Mmm, smooth.

- Oh, yeah.

- Greg Woodland's about the best I got,

but he's full of himself.

No, I need someone older;
someone with experience.

What was your first time like?

- Awesome, on the beach under the stars.

Do you remember your first?

- Course I do.

- [Tess] And?

- I'm not telling you.

- The last thing I remember

were Clint Eastwood's
eyes staring down at me.

The drive-in.

(laughter)

- Larissa Bayne said it was
worse than getting a tattoo.

- With the blokes around here,
a tattoo would last longer.

- My fist time is gonna be great

as long as I get the right guy.

- And how are you gonna know?

- The way a man dances.

That's what I always say.

If a man's got rhythm, he's got rhythm.

- He comes towards me
holding out a rose or

gardenia or something, and when I take it,

our fingers touch and this
shudder runs through me.

And, I know it means we
were meant to be together.

- You can't dance forever.

I found that out with Kev.

One day you're married with a baby,

and the next you're on your own.

And then your baby's not a baby anymore.

- His mouth will be strong but soft,

and he'll kiss my toes
and my ears and my neck.

And it'll be beautiful.

- When you find this guy, can
you ask if he's got a brother?

- I still feel like I'm 18.

Oh, my god.

I was 18 when I met Kev.

And then, better start a,

she can't be ready for all of that.

Can she?

I think I'm gonna go home.

(slow soothing music)

I do not appreciate
you ransacking my room.

- What are you on about?

- You know very well.

It's not so much that you took them-

- Took what?

- It's that you don't respect my privacy.

- Took what?

- My condoms.

- Gross!

You think I'd go looking
around in your room for those?

- Well, they were in the bedside drawer,

and they're not there now.

- Well, I didn't take them.

- Well they can't have jumped out

and disappeared on their own.

- What's the big deal mum?

So what if I did take them?

I'm not a kid anymore in
case you hadn't noticed.

- Just put them back where you got them

(door slams)

from.

- I can't stand this.

They're still crying
about being separated.

When will they be alright?

- A few more days yet.

- Can I borrow the car?

- Yeah, sure.

- Claire!

- Oh, Jodi no, sorry can't.

- [Meg] Why where are you going?

- To have a birthday worth remembering.

- But, I need you to
check the boundary fences.

- And, what about the barbecue?

- It's my 18th birthday tonight, mum.

It's supposed to be special.

Look it's karaoke night at
the pub, so I'm gonna go

and sing and dance and have a good time

and no one can stop me.

- Do something.

- Tess!

- Well, then, uh, we could
check the fences together

and because it's your birthday

I'll do them for the rest of the week.

- Sorry Tess I really don't
think I'm dressed for it.

- You can't go.

You'll miss your surprise party.

- You guys!

Mom!

- [Group] Surprise.

- Thank you!

- Nope.

No.

(knocking on the door)

- Yes.

- Oh, got your party jeans on tonight?

- Well, what's wrong with that?

- Let me see, so far I've
seen you in jeans for work,

jeans for home, jeans for the rodeo,

and now jeans for the party.

Don't you dress up for anything?

- Well, the party's in the
shed, and it's an 18th.

I wouldn't exactly call
it a formal affair.

- That doesn't mean you
shouldn't look your best.

You never know who you might meet.

- [Jodi] Are you sure I look okay?

- You look great.

- Maybe I should have
worn that blue dress.

- Darling, you look lovely.

- So, who'd you invite?

Who's coming?

- Oh, just the local crowd:
Jessica, Emma, Craig,

Woodland, and the Thompson boys.

- Craig!

- That's right.

- Okay, here goes.

- [Crowd] Surprise!

Hip, Hip, Horay!

Hip, Hip, Horray!

Hip, Hip, Horray!

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow, ♪

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow, ♪

♪ For she's a jolly good fellow, ♪

(upbeat music)

- Hi, uh, you're the DJ.?

- Troy O'Rourke AKA, The Beat Master.

- Hi, listen I'm not quite sure what sort

of music you play, so I th--

- Relax, I know exactly what
works at these sort of gigs.

The three R's:

rock,

retro,

and root music.

- Root music?

- Right.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, wow it's gorgeous.

I love it
- Here let's put it on for you

Look's fantastic!

- Thanks sweetie.

Oh, and I love your top.

Where'd you get it?

Oh, thank you.

- Oh my god, don't look now,

but Craig Woodlands is
staring right at you.

- Are you serious?

- I said don't look.

- Sorry.

Oh wow perfume!

Thank you.

Muah!

- He's coming over.

- Happy Birthday Jodi.

I got you a little something.

- Thanks Craig.

Great.

- Hi Mrs. Fountain.

- Hello, Craig.

- So, uh, great party.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Wanna dance?

- Yeah, that'd be great.

- Hey Becky, you up for it tonight?

- If you're still standing
at midnight, we'll talk.

- I will be don't worry.

- I won't.

- [Alex] Hey Claire, aren't
you glad you're past all this?

- Oh, speak for yourself mate.

- Yeah all that crap about
asking someone to dance

and the big deal it was
about who you asked first.

- Yeah, you just ask everyone

and hope you're gonna get lucky.

(laughter)

- So which one out of you two's gonna--

- [Tess] I'm dying for a dance.

(upbeat music)

- Ow!

- Uh, it was that twenty
something savage kid.

He just walked that way.

Hey, you're looking good mate.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- I don't look old?

- Now, that's one of those
lose lose questions isn't it?

Now, if I say, "Yeah,"
you'll knock my block off.

If I say, "No," you'll say I'm fibbing.

- Look at her Terry.

Where did all the years go?

(upbeat music)

- Found these condoms
outside the laundry door.

They're not ours, must have dropped out

of all that stuff you
brought over last night.

- When I brought her present
over, it's in the same drawer.

Thanks.

Oh my god.

If Jodi's--

Then she doesn't--

Oh--

- I couldn't be a mum.

(upbeat music)

(slow soothing music)

(cow's mooing)

- You miss your babies.

I know.

(upbeat music)

- Come on Claire, you're
not working all night.

- You're on.

Ah! Woo! Ooh!

- Would you like to dance?

- Um, okay.

Yeah.

(slow song)

- I'm gonna sit this one out.

- Same here.

♪ Have I given too much ♪

♪ Something inside your heart ♪

♪ Is pushing me aside ♪

♪ And seems so un-you baby ♪

♪ But its so hard on me ♪

♪ What is it I'm seeing in your eyes? ♪

- Everybody in the house,

if I could have your attention, please?

As you're all aware we are here tonight

to celebrate the birthday of
a very special lady, Jodi.

(cheering)

Well, special lady, this one's for you.

♪ You are the one ♪

♪ Oh yes you are the one ♪

♪ You are the only one ♪

♪ Look into my eyes ♪

♪ And let me show you love ♪

♪ Cause you're the one ♪

♪ The only one ♪

♪ Let me touch your hand ♪

♪ Let me touch your heart ♪

♪ Let me kiss your mouth ♪

♪ Let the feelings start ♪

♪ Jodi ♪

Happy Birthday.

(cheering and clapping)

- Think you've just been one handed mate.

- Hey, Jodi what another dance?

- Uh, no thanks, Craig.

I might go get a drink.

- Hey Becky, would you like to dance?

- I'm a little bit hot.

I might just go outside.

(slow music)

- A bit hot in there isn't it?

- Yep, it's full of sweaty teenagers.

- We should go for a dip in the creek.

- You kidding; it'll be freezing.

- [Alex] Hmm, the city girl's
afraid to go skinny dipping.

- I'm not afraid.

I go skinny dipping all the time.

- Oh, you're a regular nudist.

- Yep, could be.

- So, why don't we go for
a dip in the creek then?

- Because it's too cold,

and I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea.

- About what?

- Well, I think that you think
it could lead to something.

- And what would be wrong with that?

- Alex, I don't think people should do it

at the drop of a hat.

There's such a thing as
conversation you know.

- You mean foreplay.

- No, foreplay's--

I bet you've never slept with someone

without bonking them have you?

- Absolutely not true.

I've shared a tent with
Nick lots of times.

(upbeat music)

- I should tell her I suppose.

- Tell her what?

- That boy is gonna set her heart on fire,

and then stomp on it until it goes out.

- I'm sure she'd love
to hear that right now.

- I'm trying to let go.

Tomorrow, he'll be gone and
Jodi will still be here.

Do you think she knows what she's doing?

- I still don't.

- Hey, I think he likes me.

- Craig Woodland?

- Not Craig, the DJ, Troy.

Isn't he a dream?

He's go the most soulful eyes.

He makes Craig look so daggy.

(upbeat dance music)

- Hey, you wanna drink?

- Yeah thanks.

- Oooh, you're gonna have
to join the skully club man.

Come on, huh, come on, come on.

- Yeah, yeah, sure.

- Ready?

Alright, set, and go.

- You win man.

Hey want another one?

Looks like you want another one.

Come on let's go.

- You probably don't believe this,

but I've spent the night with lot of guys

and all we did was talk.

- Gay.

- They most definitely were not.

- Hmm, it's a good technique.

- It wasn't a technique.

- Of course it was.

They conned you.

All they wanted was a bonk.

- You just judge everyone
by your own low standards.

- Not mine.

It's all guys.

It's what we do.

- Haven't you ever heard
of sensitive new age guys?

- Snags, yeah, I've heard of 'em.

Sexless nerds or gays.

- That's snogs.

- Whatever.

- You are so unconstructed.

- Hey watch out there's a snake.

- Where!

- You city girls, you fall
for anything don't you?

(cheering)

- For she's a jolly good fellow,

- [Crowd] For she's a jolly good fellow,

- Oops!

- [Crowd] So say all of us!

- Hip! Hip!

- [Crowd] Horray!

- Hip! Hip!

- [Crowd] Horray!

(cheering)

- You're 16, you're
beautiful, and you're mine.

- But I'm 18.

- Even better.

- Claire, do you want to
take a spin out there?

A kiss like that can
get a bloke in trouble.

- Sorry.

(group shouting goodbye's)

- So what was that with Nick?

- I could say the same about you and Alex.

- We were just talking.

- You spent forty minutes
alone with Alex Ryan,

and all you did was talk?

- Running a stop watch are we?

Claire, it was a joke.

- So, uh, what were you up to with Tess?

- What do you reckon'?

Talking.

- Is that the lot?

- Yep.

- Well, I'm almost done.

- You want me to walk you back?

- I think I can look after myself.

- Hey, Becky.

- I'll be right with you.

I'm off.

- Look, I don't want anymore
piss heads hasslin' ya.

I'm gonna walk you home, alright?

- Alright.

- Jodi, darling.

- Mom, I'm not coming home just yet.

- No, I thought we could
go and, you know, talk.

Gossip about the party?

- Not tonight mum.

- And there's your pressie.

Don't you want to see what it is?

- Yeah, but my real birthday
isn't until tomorrow.

- I know it's almost midnight.

- I know, mum, I've gotta go.

- Um, look, because
you're all grown up now,

and that means being careful.

Just in case.

Terry, I need you to tell
me that I'm a good mother.

I've done the right thing tonight.

- Meg, you're a gorgeous woman,

and you make me horny as hell.

- That's exactly what I needed to hear.

- Hey, I just wanted to
thank you for everything.

- I just want your extra
time and your kiss.

- Oh, Prince right?

- Who cares?

(slow music)

Somebody bring me some water.

I think I'm burning alive.

Do you want to come check out the rest

of my record collection?

It's in my van.

- Yeah.

- Well, I guess I'll catch you around.

- Guess so.

- Night Becky.

- Night Brett.

- Don't even think about it?

- Um, you forgot your chain.

I found it in one of the tubs.

I'll see ya.

- Brett, thank you.

- Hi, Kyle, it's me, Tess.

No, not Bess, Tess.

Yes, that Tess.

Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, you know how we used to

lie in bed together and
talk about Nelson Mandela?

Did you really want to talk
about South African politics?

You did?

Oh.

Oh.

Well, I see.

Well, I'm glad you've finally
come out and told everyone.

Yep, you can't stay in the closet forever.

Yeah, uh, say hello to Michael for me.

Yep.

Bye.

- Gotta a lot of work
to do in the morning?

- What, more torture of
unsuspecting animals?

Tearing more babies
away from their mothers?

Good.

Can't wait.

(slow music)

- [Jodi] Troy.

- [Troy] It's alright; it's alright.

- [Jodi] Look, what if I--

- [Troy] Just give me a minute.

- [Jodi] Look, maybe we should
talk about something else.

Troy?

Troy!

Troy, what's wrong?

- I'm not sure.

- Aren't there other things we can do?

- Just give me a minute.

- Are you okay?

- Sure.

Come here.

(coughing)

- Mom!

- Jodi, what's happened?

Jodi!

- It was awful.

- What did he do?

- I thought he liked me
- What did he do?

- He was sick all over me.

- So--

- Nothing happened

- Oh, sweetheart, what a shame.

- What did I do wrong?

- Oh, it's not you.

He'd had too much to drink; happens a lot.

(knocking)

Just a teddy.

- Cape Canaveral is ready for lift off.

- Houston, we have a problem.

It'll happen darling when the time's right

and you meet someone and fall in love.

- And when will that be?

The only place you meet
anyone around here is a party,

and the guys are always drunk.

- Yes, it was easier for us.

We had the drive-ins.

- Is that where you fell
in love for the first time?

- No, it was the pub.

The crowded pub.

I'd gone to see a band with a friend.

What?

- I just can't imagine you raging away

in a mosh pit, that's all.

- I haven't always just
been your mother, Jodi.

Anyway, the place was packed.

We were right up at the back,

and the crowd parted for some reason.

There he was.

Just standing there.

He looked straight into my eyes,

and I felt a shiver run down my back.

He walked towards me, and it was like

suddenly the room was empty

and we were the only people there.

And he took my hand without
saying a word, and we danced.

And I knew the moment he
touched me, that he was the one.

- Well, what happened then?

- I married him, and I had you.

- That was dad?

Oh, then he left us.

- There's not always a happy ending, Jodi.

But that's okay because when it was good,

it was very very good.

(soothing music)

- What do you think you're doing?

- I'm out milking with Donna and Alma--

- You let the calves out!

- What?

- You've been going on and
on about how upset they are.

- Well, that doesn't mean I did it.

- Well no one else would.

- [Becky] How'd it go with Troy?

- Oh, fantastic.

It was just exactly, just like my dream.

- You didn't do it did you?

- No.

- Good morning Jodi.

You wanna come for a ride?

Jump in my car.

Do it over again?

- Drop dead Troy.

- I'm gonna go.

- Okay.

- Hey Troy, couldn't raise
the bus that girl huh?

- Yeah whatever man.

- Hey, it's not Jodi's fault
you can't' tell the difference

between a Golding and stallion.

- You want to come here and say that?

- Why, your legs don't work either, huh?

- Hey, Jodi.

- Hey.

- Wanna come for a spin?

- Ah, yeah, that'll be great.

- You take back what you
said, moron, right now.

- [Craig] Back off; don't touch me.

- Yeah.

- [Craig] Yeah.

- Hey stop it.

- [Craig] What you wanna bring it on?

Do it!

Come on!

- Oh, you tough country boy.
- Hey don't mock me man.

(loud shouting)

- Stop it!

- Chhh, Chhh, Chhh, Chhh

You think she would've
learned the first time.

- I heard that.

(yelling)

- Make sure the gates locked
when you're finished, Meg.

Wouldn't want them to get out again.

- How can you be sure it was Tess?

- You know what she's like.

You seen the stickers on her car

animal rights for
everything, even mousies.

(yelling)

There's a difference between caring

for peace and being over sentimental.

- Unless I walk in my sleep, I
did not let these calves out.

- Why can't you just admit what you did,

so we can get on with it?

- Are you deaf?

- Claire, maybe I --

- Mom! Mom!

You better come quick.

- Close the gate.

- Come on, that's enough.

- [Jodi] Get off him; leave him alone.

- Fire!

What, sometimes that works.

- [Claire] Come on, party's over.

I want all you lot outta here, now.

Come on!

- That was, um, pretty impressive Claire.

- Almost as impressive as spending

forty minutes alone with Alex Ryan.

- I mean what did they think
they were trying to prove?

- They were showing off for you.

- Like that?

- Yep, they're guys.

You've got a big future.

I mean just 18 and the boys
are fighting over you already.

(soothing music)

- [Tess] Jodi's not gonna
forget her 18th in a hurry.

- Who does?

- No offense but Jack could
have given you a party.

- Dad and I, we did okay.

It was so much cutlery at this hotel

neither of us knew were to start first.

- The third time the
cops came to my party,

mom hid out in the back.

(laughter)

I thought of you, you know.

I remember blowing out the candles

and wishing you were there.

- You're making that up.

You can't remember that.

- Yes, I can.

It's what I wished for every year.

- I got you a gift.

- Ear plugs.

- Well, how else do the cold, heartless

farmer like me get through weaning time.

- But, I didn't let them out.

- Well, if you didn't, who did?

(cows mooing)

- It's alright.

You gotta let them grow up sometime.

It's alright.

(Upbeat music)

♪ It's true ♪

♪ That I love you ♪

♪ That's right ♪

♪ So very right ♪

♪ But don't you break my heart ♪

♪ No don't ♪

♪ Although you might ♪

♪ Cause I'm a hopeless case ♪

♪ And you're a reckless waste ♪

♪ I'm a hopeless case ♪

♪ Kiss me now ♪

♪ Kiss me now ♪

♪ Kiss me now ♪

♪ Kiss me now ♪

♪ What's your haste? ♪

♪ Cause I'm a hopeless case ♪

♪ Kiss me now ♪

♪ I'm a hopeless waste ♪

♪ So sad ♪

♪ Don't ever leave ♪

♪ That's wrong ♪

♪ Cause you're my dream ♪

♪ Yeah stay ♪

♪ I love your face ♪

♪ Please stay ♪

♪ And I'm on your case ♪

♪ Cause you're a ♪

♪ Reckless case ♪