McGee and Me! (1989–1992): Season 1, Episode 7 - Do the Bright Thing - full transcript

(intense musics)

(upbeat music)

- Right, fine,
that's enough of that.

We're about to take an
adventure you'll never forget,

and these glamour boys
from Hollyweird are

just holding up the proceedings,

and now about our
little adventure...

but first an appropriate
costume change.

Have you ever wondered what
it would be like to go into

one of the most mysterious,
and fascinating places

ever known.



The place where everything
we do is decided.

(polka music)

Wrong outfit.

That's better, now where was--

Oh, oh yes.

Today with a little help from
my little buddy, Nicholas,

we will journey
into the amazing,

and somewhat confusing mind of

an average 11 year old boy,

to see how little and not so
little decisions are made,

and remember, always keep
the owners manual handy .

"Now teach me good judgment,
as well as knowledge,

for your laws are my guide."

Hold on to your hat, folks



(bluegrass version
of theme song)

(dog barking)

(cow mooing)

- You gotta use the
hundred fifty bucks

you've saved up for the
last year, and a half

to buy a drawing table?

- Well I haven't
made up my mind yet,

but hey this isn't just
any old drawing table.

- Right.

If you ask me a new bike
would be a better idea.

- Hey, this bike's
a lean machine.

- Yeah.

I bet you can't do a
wheelie on that thing.

- [McGee] Great, here's
our first chance to see how

even a little decision is made.

Let's look at what's
going on inside that noggin.

Now, where's the
light switch in here?

There.

Now, let's take a
look at the question,

and the necessary data to make

a decision.

(electronic sounds)

Question, "Bet you
can't do a wheelie?"

Options, A.

- [Nicholas] Can I do it?

- Forget it.

B.

- [Nicholas] Will
I break my neck?

(crash)

- You said it, Sam.

C.

- [Nicholas] If I don't try,

what will Louis say?

- What's the matter?

Chicken?
(chicken squawks)

- [McGee] Sure, you want
to see him lay an egg.

D.

- [Nicholas] I thought
McGee made all the

crummy suggestions.

- [McGee] Hm, very funny.

Well, I guess this
decision is an easy NO.

- [Nicholas] Oh well,
I may as well try.

- [McGee] What?!

Kid, you don't know
how to do this!

We need more data.

We need more--
(malfunctioning sound)

(screaming)

(various crashing sounds)

- So, forget the drawing table,

let's go look for some crutches.

- Ho, ho, just have an
ambulance drop me off at the

art store.

- Great, this guy is a riot.

Conclusion,

"Showing off can be
hazardous to your health".

(upbeat country music)

- [McGee] Now, let us
observe our subject as

he forages in his
natural habitat...

Whatever that means.

(heavenly music)

- For a hundred fifty bucks?

Does this thing do homework?

- Not quite, but it does get
over 25 miles per gallon.

- Oh, hi Graham.

- Hey, what do you say Nick?

She is a beauty, isn't she?

But I can't guarantee that
it's gonna make you draw

any better.

- Yeah, I know but maybe
having a table like this would,

you know, inspire me.

- Oh Nick, that's
what sunsets are for,

but I know what you mean.

You know in art school,
they always taught us

that we were only as
good as our tools.

- [Nicholas] Really?

- So I went out, and bought
a new wrench and socket set.

(laughter)

Okay, back to the sales pitch.

What do your parents think?

- Well, I don't think
they're against it,

but I'm not really sure
they know all the details.

- Like, maybe you're nuts.

- Maybe it's time for
that final sit-down,

really discuss it with
your folks, you know.

Have you tried holding your
breath until they agreed to pay

for half?

- No, the last time my
little sister tried that,

my dad just said he thought
she looked better in purple.

- Well, I don't want
to rush you Nick,

but it is the last one
I have in stock, so

I think you might want to make
up your mind pretty quick,

you know.

(serious music)

- Hey, I know just what
you need to relieve the

old brain cells, let's
go to Rylie's Arcade,

and zap some aliens.

(magical sound)

- Mm, alright Nick, let's see
if we can get a little more

adequate data this time.

Question.

- [Nicholas] Should I
play video games now?

- [McGee] Options, A.

- [Nicholas] Is
this good for me?

(video game sounds)

- Do you have any more quarters?

(game over sound)

- I'm flat broke.

- [McGee] B.

- [Nicholas] What will
my folks have to say?

- Remember to be home by noon.

- [McGee] C.

- [Nicholas] What
does the wise man say?

- And the scripture says
honor, and obey your father,

and mother.

You mow the lawn, yet?

- [McGee] Now
that's more like it.

And now, the verdict.

- No way, an hour in there, and
I won't have enough money to

buy a pencil, much
less an art table.

Besides, I'm supposed
to be home by noon.

- [McGee] I just
love happy endings.

(upbeat bluegrass music)

- You know, Nick have
you ever considered

investing in something
really worthwhile,

like clothes?
- Clothes?

I wanna be an
artist, not a model.

- No danger of that.

- You look fine, honey.

- Thanks mom.

Oh listen when can I
talk to you and dad

about the art table?

There's only one left and
I got to make my decision

by Monday.

- Well your father
will be home soon,

we can talk about
it after dinner.

Oh and speaking of Monday, don't
you have a book report due.

- I'm almost done, I'll
finish it right after

Sci-fi Matinee'.
- Oh no,

you spent all morning
at the art store,

and with Church tomorrow,
you won't have time.

You finish your report
first, and then we'll talk

about Sci-fi Matinee, but I
don't think you can finish your

book report in time to do both.

(upbeat bluegrass music)

- Oh great.

I still got two more
chapters to read.

This will take hours,

unless...

I just read the last
couple of pages.

(alarm sounding)

- I think it's time we
take another visit to

the master control.

(crash, and cow mooing)

In this instance, we
see a tricky situation

that not only deals
with using bad judgment,

like the daredevil wheelie,

this is a question of
choosing between right,

and wrong.

Let's take a look at the data.

Question.

- [Nicholas] Should I
give a report on a book

I haven't finished reading?

- [McGee] Options, A.

- [Nicholas] Is it right?

- Look stupid,
everybody does it.

Man, I just read
the inside cover.

Look if you squeal on me...

(ominous music)

- [McGee] Yeah, yeah, right.

B.

- [Nicholas] What would
the other kids say

if they found out?

- Gee Nick, we thought you
were different when it came to

being honest, and stuff.

- [McGee] C.

- [Nicholas] Why do
I want to do this?

- [Announcer] And now, for
Saturday Sci-fi Matinee,

Lawanda, Queen of Venus,

starring Schnucks Wheeler.

(upbeat mysterious music)

- [McGee] D.

- [Nicholas] What
does the wise man say?

(traditional eastern music)

- What?
(needle scratching record)

- [McGee] That's wise
man, not wise guy.

- And the scriptures say,

give me understanding
that I may obey your law.

Teach my heart your word,

not dishonest gain.

- [McGee] And the answer is...

- I wanted to read
the whole book anyway.

Schnucks Wheeler?

(serious music)

It's really neat, I mean
it's got an art file drawer

attached where I can keep
all my McGee drawings,

and stuff, in order, and
it's got a tray for pencils,

and stuff, it looks great.

- Well it sounds great son.

- What's the matter with
your old art table, Nick?

- Well, it's old.

I've had it since I was a kid.

- Son we know you saved
your money for a long time.

You worked for
it, you earned it,

and if you're certain
you want to spend it on a

new art table, well...

It's okay with us.

- Great.

- Okay, so what's the problem?

I don't know.

I thought that when
you guys said, okay,

that that would be it...

But...

I still don't really
know what to do.

- Well...

I know how you feel son,
and I think you have the

right approach.

I mean it seems you've
given this a lot of thought,

and you've come
to us for advice,

I think the only other thing
you need to consider is

praying about your decision.

- I'm glad you're trying so
hard to make the right choice,

and we want to help,

but I really think
this is up to you.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

- We can pray about it too.
- Thanks mom.

Thanks dad.
- Nick.

- I can't breathe.

- Oh, hey look.

- Don't bug me.

- It's hard to believe you
can make this stuff up.

- Thanks.

- Why don't you ever
act as funny as McGee.

- [McGee] Now, what
do you suppose this is

all about.

let's take a look

Question.

- [Nicholas] Would I be more
popular if I acted like McGee?

- Well, there's one
way to find out.

- Good morning, now
who would like to give

their book report to the class?

- Oh, me, me!

Me, me, me!

Nicholas?

- That's my name,
don't wear it out.

(giggling)

- Nice hair. (sarcastically)

- Well, what do you say teach?

"Ar, matey, shiver me timbers,
batten down the hatches,

and hoist the mainsail",
now those are the kinds of

salty sayings.

So they captured
what's-his-name, Jim Hawkins,

and they took him
to a desert island,

and so you know on
the desert island,

they just hung out, you know.

"Ar, if you don't tell me where
you've hidden me treasure,

I'll have your head or my
name ain't Long-underwear".

I mean Long John Silver.

What are you guys,
an oil painting?

(embarrassed mock laughter,
frogs and crickets chirping)

I think he's had enough.

Conclusion, don't be
someone else, be yourself.

- Boy, McGee I don't know
how you could away with it.

(upbeat polka music)

- Hey, what's the big rush?

- My mom's taking me down
to Graham's art store.

- So you gonna make up your
mind about the art table,

huh?

- One way or another,
you wanna come?

- Oh yeah, sounds like
non-stop action to me.

- Come on.

(upbeat steel drum music)

♪ Ha, Ha

(steel drum music)

♪ Ha ha, gather round

♪ You make the
choices all day long ♪

♪ All the day long

♪ You get to choose
one right or wrong ♪

♪ You choose right or wrong

♪ You're gonna make a
lot of big decisions ♪

♪ Be careful what you choose

♪ You could win,
you could lose ♪

♪ You could win or lose

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Shout and sing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ It's a jungle,
yes it's a jungle ♪

♪ Do the right thing,
you do the right thing ♪

♪ Just because some others do

♪ Cause some others do

♪ Does that mean
you do it too? ♪

♪ Do you do it too?

♪ You try to act
like someone else ♪

♪ Act like someone else

♪ Why not try and be yourself?

♪ Try to be yourself

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Let's do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Everybody shout and sing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

(steel drum music)

♪ Ha, Ha,

♪ It's a jungle,
yes it's a jungle ♪

♪ Do the right thing

♪ It's so exciting

♪ Everybody shout

♪ Everybody shout

♪ Everybody sing

♪ Everybody sing

♪ Everybody do

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Aye-O

♪ Aye-O

♪ Aye-O

♪ Aye-O

♪ Aye-O

♪ What about

♪ Righto

♪ Righto

♪ Everybody do

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Everybody shout and sing

- Well Nick, what's the verdict?

Did you get it?

- Get what?

- [Together] The
new drawing table.

- Oh, that.

No.

I decided to buy a
sketch pad instead.

- What?

But I thought you
were gonna get the--

- I just realized the
table like that was...

Well...

I'm just not ready for something
so fancy, it's just not me,

and then I thought of all
the time it took me to make

that much money, and it just
didn't seem right for me

to spend it all on myself,
and so I thought I could...

you know use some of it
to help someone else,

and the rest to buy a new bike.

- Alright.

- You know Nicky,
it's not a bad idea,

but I've been thinking...
- Nicky?

- What if we went in
together to buy a car,

I get my permit next year,
of course you wouldn't be

old enough to drive right
away, but I'll take care of it,

and basically you can ride
in it any time you want.

(upbeat bluegrass music)

- Remember how easy
it was being a kid.

- That's easy for him to say.

Oh brother.

Here they come with
the credits again.

♪ Ha, Ha, gather round

♪ You make the choice

♪ All day long

♪ All the day long

♪ You get to choose
from right and wrong ♪

♪ You choose right or wrong

♪ You're goin to make a
lot of big decisions ♪

♪ Be careful what you choose

♪ You could win or
you could lose ♪

♪ You could win or lose

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Everybody shout and sing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing, Ha, Ha

♪ It's a jungle

♪ Yes, it's a jungle

♪ Do the right thing

♪ You do the right thing

♪ Just because some others do

♪ Just because some others do

♪ Does that mean you do it too

♪ Do you do it too

♪ You try and act
like someone else ♪

♪ Act like someone else

♪ Why not try and be yourself

♪ Try and be yourself

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O

♪ Everybody shout and single

♪ Aye-O

♪ Do the right thing

(steel drum music)

♪ Ha, Ha

♪ It's a jungle,
Yes, its a jungle♪

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Its so exciting

♪ Everybody shout

♪ Everybody sing

♪ Everybody do,

♪ Do the right thing

♪ Aye-O