McGee and Me! (1989–1992): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Not-So-Great Escape - full transcript

(intense music)

(upbeat music)

(turning pages)

- (Nicholas) "Don't copy
the behavior and customs

of this world.

Stop loving this evil world

and all that it offers you.

For all these worldly
things, these evil desires,

these are not from God.

And this world is fading away,

and these evil, forbidden
things will go with it."



- Step right up!

Don't be left out of the fun!

See it here, all the
shocking sights and sounds!

(laughs evilly)

Have a nice trip!

(laughs)

(whooshing)

Another satisfied customer.

(laughs)

(clattering)

- Whoa!

(screaming)

(bonk!)

(distorted symphonic music)



- (Nicholas) "To be a
new and different person,

fix your thoughts on what
is true and good and right.

Dwell on the fine good things.

For whoever keeps
doing the will of God

will live forever."

(static)

(dramatic music)

Cyborg 2, this is
Blue Fox leader.

Quadrant four, sector
seven is secure.

Do you copy?

- Roger, Blue Fox.

No sign of alien encounter yet.

- Keep your eyes peeled.

- I see movement
in quadrant three.

- Well, set phasers on massacre.

- Roger, Blue Fox.

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

(toy guns warbling)

- (Nicholas) I know this
looks kinda strange,

but Louis and I figure,

if you have to be a kid you
might as well act like one.

- What is it?

- Phantom space pod!

(screaming)

(toy guns warbling)

- A valiant effort, earthling.

But that was only a
three-dimensional projection

of my pod.

(laughs evilly)

- Cheater!

- What?

(electricity zapping)

- Nicholas?

Come on in, it'll be
getting dark soon.

- (Nicholas) But Mom!

- Come in, now.

- (Louis) Getting dark soon?

Sometimes it seemed like Mom

lived in a different time zone.

(laughter)

- Let me in, it's getting dark!

It's getting dark!

(laughs)

I don't know, Nick.

Cyborg's mom always
makes him come in

when it gets dark.

- Oh, very funny.

(toy gun warbles)

Ha ha.

- Hey, check it out!

Night of the Blood
Freaks Part IV.

Starts tomorrow.

In 3D.

- Aw, no kidding?

- Remember last year in
Twilight of the Blood Freaks,

when he got those
guys at the campfire.

- Naw, I didn't see it.

My folks wouldn't let me.

- Man, they don't
let you do anything.

- Hey, that was a year ago.

I'm a lot older now, right?

- Have you seen the commercials?

- Oh yeah.

- First...

There was Dawn of
the Blood Freaks.

Then Day of the Blood Freaks.

Then...

Twilight!

But now,

as the shadows begin to fall,

it's Night of the Blood Freaks!

(shouting eerily)

(laughter)

(breezy music)

- (Nicholas) Louis and
I weren't the only ones

excited about the movie.

- It's in 3D,

and the soundtrack to the
movie is by Death Threat.

- I've seen all
the Freak movies.

- Seen 'em?

You starred in 'em.

(laughter)

So what do you think?

There's a 12:15
matinee tomorrow.

- It'll be great.

- Think your mom and dad will
let you out of the house?

- Hey, I can handle
my folks, no sweat.

- Absolutely not.

- But Mom!

- Why would you want to go
see a gross movie like that

anyway?

- 'Cause he's gross.

- It's not that bad.

Besides everybody's
going to see it.

Come on, please?

- Please what?

- Nicholas wants to go
see a movie with Louis.

- Well, sure, why not?

What's it rated?

Hello?

- A real classic.

Night of the Blood Freaks?

Part IV.

- In 3D?

(sighs)

- No way.

Absolutely not.

- But Dad!

- Honey, we don't want
you filling your mind

with that kind of
garbage, you know that.

- But Mom!

- I told you!

- Shut up!

- Nicholas.

- Well, why am I always the
one that can't do anything?

- Nicholas.

- Can't do this, can't do that.

- One more word out
of you, young man.

- It's not fair.

Everybody else
gets to go see it.

But I have to sit around
with a bunch of old...

- Nicholas!

- That's it.

Now you don't talk
that way in this home.

Go to your room,
you're grounded.

- Hello, Nick.

- Go smell your socks.

- Wound a bit tightly
tonight, aren't we?

Oh, I know.

Look, kid, you watch movies
like that long enough

and pretty soon they'll
stick a sign on your head

that says "Dump site."

(hollow knocking)

- What are you, some
kind of film critic

or something?

- (McGee) Well, as
a matter of fact...

(bouncy theatrical music)

Let's take a look
at our next clip.

The Molting Falcon.

Now this is a real classic.

- My names is Shade.

Spam Shade, Private Eye.

(creaking)

She walked in and
lit up the room.

(whooshing)

(bonk!)

Her name was Thelma.

The kind of babe your
mom warned you about.

(coughing)

But mom was in Cleveland
getting a nose job.

She was looking for a bird.

A Molting Falcon.

(dramatic music)

What's the deal with
this music anyway?

But the whole thing
smelled rotten to me.

(flies buzzing)

(woman screams)

Well, that wraps up
another case for Spam Shade,

Private Eye.

- You know, they just don't
make films like that anymore.

Great story, great dialogue,

and a particularly great
performance by the lead.

On a scale of 1 to 10,

I give this a thumbs up.

- No way, if that
film was any flatter

it would be in The
House of Pancakes.

Now if you want to
see a great flick,

take a look at the new remake.

(lurid music)

(bullet zings)

(squeaking)

(gunshots)

(explosion)

(lurid music)

(coughing)

- You call that fun?

(coughing)

Why not just stick your
head in a garbage can

or something?

- 'Cause then I'd
have to room with you.

(telephone rings)

- Hello.

- (Louis) Hey, Nick,
ready for the show?

- I can't go.

- (Louis) What?

- I'm grounded.

- Grounded?

How are you gonna go to the
show if you're grounded?

- I'm not.

- Man.

Hey, wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

Blue Fox.

- (Nicholas) Huh?

- Remember last week's episode?

Remember the plan Cyborg
2 used to free Blue Fox

from the dreaded Black Tower?

- Yeah?

- (Louis) We could use that.

(low key suspenseful music)

- Ah.

(adventurous music)

(mid tempo music)

Testing, testing,
one, two, three.

(mid tempo music)

(walkie-talkie beeps)

Cyborg 2, this is
Blue Fox leader.

Do you copy?

- Roger, Blue Fox, I'm
reading you loud and clear.

Synchronize watches...

To 11:28.

And let's commence execution.

- Execution?

- The plan, stupid.

The plan.

- Oh.

Right.

- (McGee) You'll be sorry.

- Aren't you coming?

- Unh-unh, no way.

I got principles.

I got convictions.

♪ I got rhythm

- I'll give you dollar.

- I gotta get my shoes.

- (Mom) Well, she's
just started coming

to the counseling center.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hm.

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

- (Nicholas) Suddenly, this
plan didn't seem so easy.

(suspenseful music)

- No.

Yeah, yeah, I think so too.

- Cyborg 2, Cyborg 2.

Emergency in the kitchen.

Request diversionary tactic.

- Roger, Blue Fox.

(suspenseful music)

(doorbell rings)

- Oh, Mary Ann, can you hold on?

There's somebody at the door.

Hold on just a second.

Sarah!

Sarah?

Sarah, can you see
who it is at the door?

I'm sorry, where was I?

Uh-huh.

- (Nicholas) Crawling
around on the kitchen floor

wasn't exactly the great
escape I'd pictured.

- Of course.

Of course, that's what
she wanted all along.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Okay.

Alright, well, I'll talk
to you a little later.

Okay, hon, bye-bye.

Sarah?

Who was at the door?

- Mother?

- Sarah?

Sarah.

There you are.

Who was at the door?

- (Sarah) No one.

- Mm.

Probably some screwy kids.

- Mom, Nick's upstairs.

- (Mom) Very funny.

- (Sarah) Grandma?

- Yes, dear?

- Can you help me with
my curtains in my room?

- Oh sure, sweetheart.

How do they look?

Is the length okay?

- Well, yeah, kinda , but
it's uneven at the bottom.

- Well, we'll fix it.

(suspenseful music)

- (Nicholas) A few more
feet and I was home free.

Or...free of home.

(barking)

- What on earth?

Whatever.

(barking)

Whatever.

Are you alright?

(barking)

What's wrong, fella?

(whistling)

- Come here, boy.

(whistles)

(barking)

- Come here, Whatever.

Whatever!

What's wrong with you?

Come here.

- Thanks.

- That'll cost you
another 75 cents.

- Let's go.

(suspenseful music)

(birds chirping)

(door slams)

- Meet me over by that Buick.

- Let's just go to the theater.

- That's not what
Blue Fox would do.

- Yeah, Blue Fox's
mom wouldn't chase him

around the kitchen either.

- Let's just stick to the plan.

- I don't remember there
being a Buick in the plan.

(upbeat music)

Wait a minute.

How are we supposed to get
in if we're not old enough?

- No problem.

Come on.

Two, please.

Wait up, Dad!

His dad.

- Dad!

Dad!

(light beeping)

- (Nicholas) Who is it?

- (Mom) It's Mom.

- (Nicholas) Um, I'm
drawing right now,

could you come back later?

- Okay.

(ominous music)

(creature snarling)

(screaming)

(creature growls)

(creature snarling)

(creature yells)

- Nicholas?

- (Nicholas) Who is it...

(tape recorder malfunctions)

- It's Mom, are you alright?

You sound...tired.

- (Nicholas) Um, I'm
drawing right now.

(tape recorder squeals)

- Nicholas.

It's Mom, what's
going on in there?

(tape recorder malfunctioning)

- (Woman) Nicholas...

It's Mom...

- What are you doing?

- What's it look like?

I'm talking to myself.

- (Woman) What's it look like?

I'm talking to myself.

- Nicholas!

Nicholas?

- (Woman) ...talking to myself.

(electricity zapping)

Nicholas!

Nicholas?

(zapping and beeping)

(laughs)

- Let's face it,
Mom, he freaked.

- Yeah.

(creature hissing)

(guttural snarling)

(eerie music)

(hissing and snarling)

- The things I do for money.

(wondrous music)

♪ They all said it was great

♪ They all said to be cool

♪ Is this all that you
thought it would be? ♪

♪ 'Cause now you see

♪ Now you see who's the fool

(peppy rock music)

♪ What you see is what you get

♪ So you better make sure
that it's heaven sent ♪

♪ All the things that
you see and hear ♪

♪ They will come back to you

♪ So be careful
what you choose ♪

♪ 'Cause some things
you'll never lose ♪

♪ Stick it in your mind

♪ Is gonna stay, gonna stay
right there in your heart ♪

♪ Ohhh, right there
in your heart ♪

♪ Sooner or later it's
a matter of fact ♪

♪ What you see is
how you'll act ♪

♪ Even if it all
fades from view ♪

♪ It will come back to you

♪ So better careful
what you choose ♪

♪ 'Cause some things
you'll never lose ♪

♪ Stick it in your mind

♪ Is gonna stay, gonna stay
right there in your heart ♪

♪ Ohh, right there
in your heart ♪

♪ Stay right there
in your heart ♪

(door opens)

♪ Ohh, right there
in your heart ♪

- Nicholas?

Come in here.

Did you go to the movies?

- Yes, sir.

- Did you enjoy yourself?

- No, it was awful.

- Do you realize
what you've done?

- Sit down, Nick.

When your mother and I
told you you couldn't go,

it was for a purpose.

- We were trying to protect you.

- Your mind is the most
important thing you have.

That's why the Lord is
very clear when he says

we have to be careful
what we put in it.

Now whether you enjoyed
the movie or not

is beside the point.

Just by going to see
it you've put something

into your mind to...

To dirty it.

To pollute it.

It's bound to affect your life.

It's garbage in,
garbage out, Nicholas.

- You've got scenes in your
mind that you can never erase.

You've got pictures that...

May be with you for
the rest of your life.

- I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry too, son.

(mournful music)

I want you to go to your room

and give this some thought.

I'll be up in a little while

to talk about your punishment.

(mid tempo music)

- (Nicholas) Well, you might say

we did more than talk
about my punishment.

And with all the extra
chores I got that week,

I had plenty of time to
think about the things

Dad said.

(sighs)

I need a break.

- So, are we finished?

- No, we are not finished.

I still have to
haul all these boxes

from the garage to the attic.

- Boy, the folks are riding
you kinda hard, aren't they?

- It could be worse.

I could have to sit through
that stupid movie again.

(laughs)

I tell ya, McGee, I'm
through with watching garbage

like that.

- Mm-hmm.

- But you gotta help me.

That kinda stuff's all around.

- Yeah, it's tough
making right choices,

but it's like I've
always told ya,

the road to ruin is paved
with crude inventions.

- Oh, inventions.

Like the time you told me
to use Mom's vacuum cleaner

to rake the leaves.

- It would have worked if
you hadn't hit the sprinkler.

- Or how about the time you
told me to cut the sleeves

on my shirt so that Mom
wouldn't see the tear?

(laughs)

Or how about the time...

- You know, his mind
really is full of...

Garbage.

(slurps)

♪ What you see is what you get

♪ So you better make sure
that it's heaven sent ♪

♪ All the things that
you see and hear ♪

♪ They will come back to you

♪ So be careful
what you choose ♪

♪ 'Cause some things
you'll never lose ♪

♪ Stick it in your mind

♪ Is gonna stay, gonna stay
right there in your heart ♪

♪ Ohh, right there
in your heart ♪

♪ Sooner or later it's
a matter of fact ♪

♪ What you see is
how you'll act ♪

♪ Even if it all
fades from view ♪

♪ It will come back to you

♪ So be careful
what you choose ♪

♪ 'Cause some things
you'll never lose ♪

♪ Stick it in your mind

♪ It's gonna stay, gonna stay
right there in your heart ♪

♪ Ohh, right there
in your heart ♪

♪ Stay right there
in your heart ♪

♪ Ohh, right there
in your heart ♪

(peppy rock music)

♪ So be careful what you do