Maverick (1957–1962): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Jail at Junction Flats - full transcript

Dandy Jim convinces Bret to partner with him to buy horses for cavalry remounts and Bret learns too late it's just another of Jim's swindles. Worse, Jim steals all Bret's money and leaves him tied up in the wilderness. Bret soon tracks Dandy Jim to a Wyoming town with a long memory - when a notorious outlaw broke out of jail eight years earlier, the town fathers determined to build an escape-proof jail. Now Dandy Jim's behind bars for a crime he didn't commit - for a change - and he refuses to tell Bret where he's hid the money he stole from the gambler unless he breaks him out of jail. Time's short because a lynch mob is beginning to form.

Good old Bret.

- Where is it?
- It?

You know what I'm
talking about, you wretch.

You stashed that
money somewhere.

Maverick. You're rumpling me.

- Well, where is it?
- I can't tell you.

What do you mean
you can't tell me?

Well, can't you see, old boy, you're
the only friend I have in this town.

If I told you where the money
was, I wouldn't even have you.

- I am not your friend, Buckley.
- Oh, yes, you are, Maverick.

Nobody but a friend would do
what... What you're going to do for me.



And what might that be?

You're going to break me
out of this preposterous jail.

From the entertainment
capital of the world...

produced for television
by Warner Bros.

Up till about 1 8 69,
nobody had ever heard...

of a town named
Junction Flats, Wyoming.

Then, all of a sudden, Junction Flats got
its name in all the papers, for a while.

It was in Junction Flats that a staunch,
young sheriff, named Morrison Pyne...

single-handedly captured
Hognose Hughes...

the terror of the western plain.

As it turned out, Sheriff Pyne's day
in the sun was a pretty short one...

because it was from this
same jail on the same day...

that Hognose Hughes made his
spectacular escape to freedom.

On his way to the city
limits, he lowered the



population of Junction
Flats 10 percent...

by killing 13 of its
leading citizens.

The fellows who untied the sheriff
said he was fit to be tied all over again.

That's all there
is to the story.

The only reason I
mention it at all is, oh,

about eight years later
I happened to pass...

through the town of Broken Wheel,
about 40 miles west of Junction Flats.

I was minding my own
business, which is poker.

One look into the community center
and I knew I was in the wrong town.

Maverick, hold up
there. Ha, ha, ha.

Dandy Jim Buckley.

By George, it is a
small world, isn't it?

"Crowded" is the word for it.

If I hadn't looked up when I did,
we'd have missed each other again.

Yep.

Well, tell me about yourself.

How have you been and
what have you been doing?

And, um, have you got any money?

Take care of yourself, Buckley.

Maybe we'll run into each
other again sometime.

Ha, ha. My dear, Maverick.

I can't tell you how I've missed
those little drolleries of yours.

You have the refreshing
wholesomeness of a genuine frontier wit.

You do have money, don't you?

Not for you. If you wanna steal
money, do it from somebody else.

I can't blame you
for saying that.

You're remembering
me the way I used to be.

I'm not like that
anymore, Maverick.

- I'm a new man, and a better one.
- Yeah.

I tell you what did it.

I realized an honest dollar is easier
to come by than a crooked one.

It's changed my whole life.

It gives you a good, clean
feeling, working for a living.

Don't get me choked up, Buckley.

I've got to have $2000 and
you're going to give it to me.

- Goodbye, Buckley.
- You're not to look at it as a loan.

You're simply putting
your money to work.

I'm not going to keep
anything from you, Maverick.

A certain business contact.

A large legitimate corporation finds
itself pathetically in need of horses.

Any kind of horses. All they can
buy for whatever they have to pay.

- Horses?
- Yes.

I have acquired this whole
territory, as a horse buyer.

They'll pay me a
commission on every horse.

Buckley, I'm trying to picture
you as an honest tradesman.

And it isn't easy.

Now, tell me, who are these people
you're dealing with and what's their grift?

Maverick, I'm not selling
anything. I'm buying.

There's no con game
in which you buy.

Now, give me the 2000 like a good boy
and I'll guarantee you at least 4000 back.

I'm putting 2000
of my own in it.

That's how much I
think of this proposition.

Deep down in his depraved little

heart Dandy Jim Buckley
knew that he had me.

He knew and I knew that I couldn't sleep
until I'd figured out what he was up to.

It was nothing but curiosity
making me do something...

no sane man would do.

I was drawing to
an inside straight.

One thing about Dandy Jim
Buckley, he was never predictable.

He was doing the last thing on earth I
ever expected him to do with my $2000.

He was buying
horses, lots of horses.

In fact, it seemed
at times as if he had

his heart set on buying
every horse in town.

Day after day, he had
been buying those horses.

Night after night, I'd been going
without sleep trying to figure out why.

Then early one morning,
a little before noon...

something seemed different.

It was like Sunday morning
in the middle of the week.

Not a sound anywhere.

And then I suddenly knew
Dandy Jim Buckley had struck.

- What's happened? Where is everybody?
- Gold.

Gold what?

- They found gold over at Cobb's Creek.
- Who found gold?

Some prospector
snuck in and filed a claim,

but the whole town
knowed it in 20 minutes.

- Tell me something.
- I ain't got time, mister.

Fifty dollars.

I'm sure if we talked it over we
could arrive at some equitable figure.

Sixty...

Well, who's got time to talk?

Buckley...

if you lay a hand on my horse,
you'll never need yours again.

Maverick, old boy, I
was bringing him to you.

- Yeah, by way of Idaho.
- Ha, ha, ha.

There it is again.
That ready wit.

Aren't you going down to Cobb's
Creek? There's gold out there.

Oh, no need to be greedy about it
when we have $10,000 right here.

- Ten?
- Thousand dollars.

Didn't I tell you an honest dollar
was easier than a crooked one?

I really didn't know what
you meant at the time.

You'd probably get an argument
from some of the suckers.

All those people standing
around at Cobb's Creek...

looking for that grizzly
old prospector of yours.

They might even
want their money back.

Yes. Well, I see no use in
arguing with a rustic population.

Which, incidentally, is probably
half way back here by now.

Look, Bret, even if the money weren't
honestly come by, which it was...

I can't remember which
money came from which rube.

Let's go somewhere
where we can talk.

Ha!

Twenty for you, 20 for me.

Twenty for you, 20 for me.

Maverick, my friend...

you're not really going to
give yours back, are you?

You don't understand me at all,
Buckley. I love money but I hate jails.

Twenty for you, 20 for me.
Twenty for you, 20 for me.

The first chance I'd had
to sleep in days and I slept.

Funny thing though, when
I woke up, I felt, well, stiff.

Now, he wouldn't have gone that way,
because that way is Broken Wheel...

and they'd kill him there.

My idea was to follow him that
way and maybe just half kill him.

Dandy Jim Buckley was a changed
man. Getting a sense of decency.

All the other times he
robbed me and sneaked off...

he'd taken my horse too.

- Got a good cigar?
- Yes, sir.

Say, I've been wondering about the
name of your town. Sounds familiar.

Junction Flats.

Of course. I read about
this town in a book.

Isn't this the town that Hognose
Hughes broke out of jail?

Stranger, folks in Junction
Flats ain't much on reading books.

They ain't much either for talking
about jail breaks or Hognose Hughes.

Why would that be?

Because the sheriff here is
a little touchy on the subject.

Hm.

Oh, say, one more thing.

I kind of lost track
of a friend of mine.

He'd be a stranger in town.
Maybe you've seen him.

There was another
stranger in just today.

Fellow by the name of Barnum.

- P.T. Barnum?
- That's the way he signed in.

- The hotel?
- The jail.

- Tell me.
- Fellow came in right after lunch.

Sat down at the poker
table, joined the game.

Wasn't no time at all before he was
accusing Leroy Howard of cheating.

It was a bad wound.

He might live and he might not.

- Barnum?
- Leroy.

His life's hanging by a hair.

- Leroy.
- Barnum.

The folks here is hanging
around to see how it comes out.

We was figuring if the boy died,
we'd hang the stranger ourselves.

That poor boy wasn't
no more than 28 year old.

Well, wouldn't the sheriff have
something to say about that?

Oh, he'd have a lot to
say. He's Leroy's uncle.

- Oh.
- And he didn't like it one durn bit.

I ain't ever seen the sheriff
this mad since the day...

Hognose Hughes
broke out of his jail.

Sheriff swore nobody would
ever break out of his jail again.

The way he feels now though...

I don't suppose he'd
mind people breaking in...

for a worthy cause.

Oh, and lynching
is a worthy cause.

Well, now, it does
help folks let off steam.

And two, it's a great
saving in time and expense.

Only cost to the taxpayer would
be the burying of the stranger.

And him being a poor man,
well, he'd appreciate that himself.

A poor man?

Lost all the money he had
before the game broke up.

- He did, huh?
- Sure did.

Upwards of $75.

- That's all he had?
- Uh-huh.

Anything else I can do for you?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'd hate to go through a famous town like
Junction Flats and not get to see the jail.

Could you tell me where it is?

I'll show it to you.

With $10,000 at
stake, Buckley would be

out of that little old
jail before morning.

And I'd be waiting for him.

I'd know that jail anywhere
from pictures in the books.

That's the old jail. The
new one's on the corner.

- That one?
- Yep.

And as a law student,
it disturbs me...

to think of even a cold-blooded
killer lying in a strange jail...

without the benefit
of legal counsel.

All lawyers feel that way.

Sheriff, it would be a bad blow
to the reputation of this town...

to hang a man before the trial.

It would be in all the papers.

Hadn't thought of that.

Well, there's just you and me
between him and the fury of the mob.

- He ain't got no money to pay for lawyers.
- Money is the last thing in the world...

that I'm thinking of.

I wonder if I could just
talk with your prisoner.

I reckon he's entitled to that.

It'll take a minute to
get the keys to the cell.

- You keep them in the safe?
- I sure do, mister.

And I'm the only one
who's got the combination.

No point in having jails...

if folks are just wandering in
and out whenever they please.

Hey. Search him.

You got a visitor, Barnum. This
fellow here wants to be your lawyer. Ha.

- How do you do?
- This is Mr. Bret Maverick.

Mr. Maverick's a lawyer.

I'm very happy to know you,
Mr. Maverick? Won't you come in?

No. This here is close enough.

I heard the trouble you
were in, Mr. Barnum...

and I figured you could
use legal assistance.

That was very thoughtful of you.

- I'm afraid I need all the help I can get.
- Of course, you do.

Mr. Maverick, I'm as
innocent as a newborn babe.

You shot that boy.
You know you did.

He shot first.

Careful, Mr. Barnum. Anything
you say can be used against you.

I'm surprised you didn't
tell him that yourself.

Sheriff, I'd like to talk
to my client in private.

No, sir. I don't leave nobody
alone with my prisoners.

I hope you'll understand,
Mr. Barnum. I...

As your lawyer, I'd like to see
you given all your legal rights.

When I leave this town, I'd like
to leave with a good conscience...

knowing that you had received
a fair shake and a fair trial.

- I appreciate that.
- Before they hung you.

And I want you to
understand the situation

the sheriff is in and
not hold it against him.

He has his sworn
duty on one hand...

and on the other hand he has his
feelings for his own flesh and blood.

I understand.

Of course, you do.

The folks all over the
country will understand that.

Once all the facts are known.

All right.

Talk to him. Talk your head off.

Good, old Bret.

- Where is it?
- It?

You know what I'm
talking about, you wretch.

You stashed that
money somewhere.

Maverick. You're rumpling me.

- Well, where is it?
- I can't tell you.

What do you mean
you can't tell me?

Well, can't you see, old boy, you're
the only friend I have in this town.

If I told you where the money
was, I wouldn't even have you.

- I am not your friend, Buckley.
- Oh, yes, you are, Maverick.

Nobody but a friend would do
what... What you're going to do for me.

And what might that be?

You're going to break me
out of this preposterous jail.

You don't know
me at all, Buckley.

I've never broken
anybody out of jail in my life.

And If I were to start,
why would I start with you?

You tell me why I'd do it?

Because you're greedy and
because I know where the money is.

And if these rubes string
me up, I'll die a rich man.

Would you really
do a thing like that?

Would you die with
$10,000 on your conscience.

- And 2000 of it my money?
- I'd die happy that way.

- And you're not gonna tell me?
- No.

But I'll show you.

Now, you swear the
other fellow drew first?

Have I ever lied to you?

We'll split the money
again. Half and half.

That's right.

I'll take my half,
plus half of your half.

- My legal fee.
- Oh, no. Fifty-fifty.

Well, Mr. Barnum, I sure hope you
change your mind about needing a lawyer.

All right. Three to one.

Well, good day.

In all my life I'd seen only one
building put together as solidly...

as the new jail
at Junction Flats.

But that was the United
States Mint in Denver.

It's surprising how few ways
there are for an enterprising man...

to spring himself
from a good jail.

Oh, there's habeas corpus.

But I wasn't sure they
had that in Junction Flats.

Lots of places a man
could shoot his way out.

But this wasn't
one of those places.

Then, of course, there's always
the classic approach to the problem.

Are you sure that's
what you want?

Well, yes, ma'am. Is
there something wrong?

Well, I think I
ought to tell you...

fashionable ladies haven't
been wearing tie-back dresses...

oh, two, three seasons now.

They're considered,
uh, déclassé.

Well, I'm afraid it's gonna have
to be a tie-back dress, ma'am.

Hm. Well, very well.

We'll see if we have one
tucked away somewhere.

I'm afraid this is all we have.

As I say, there isn't much
demand for them now.

Well, what I had in mind was
more of a red dress, ma'am.

Red? Who on earth
are you buying if for?

My mother.

Oh, your mother. Oh.

- Well, that will take a little more time.
- Oh, there's no hurry.

Maverick?

- Were they mice you been hollering about?
- They're not mice.

Well, you wait and see.

- Mice, huh?
- Get over there.

Oh!

Shh. Be quiet.

Hey, get back over there.

Unh!

Hey, hey, hey. Hold this.

Thank you, ma'am.
You've been a big help.

What are you doing
in my basement?

Well, I hate to
say this, ma'am...

but I'm looking for
something to tie you up with.

Shh.

You think you can
stop that music...

and foot-stomping long
enough to eat your supper?

You can only feel
so bad, sheriff...

then the essential
cheerfulness of man takes over.

You start feeling good.

You got nothing
to feel good about.

- How utterly appetizing.
- Yeah.

- Going home to supper?
- Where else would I be going?

I'll check in around 11. Anybody
who wants me, I'll be home.

Don't you ever get tired of
playing that monotonous thing?

Well, this isn't really my
chosen instrument, deputy.

I'm a whiz on the musical saw.

I don't suppose you have a
saw I could borrow, have you?

You keep playing that mouth
organ till I can find you one.

All quiet along the
Potomac tonight

Except here and
there a stray picket

Is shot as he walks
on his beat, to and fro

By a rifleman hid in the thicket

'Tis nothing A private
or two now and then

- Will not count in the news of
the battle - In the news of the battle

- Not an officer lost, only one of the
men - An officer lost, only one of the men

- Moaning out all alone the death rattle
- Moaning out all alone the death rattle

- All quiet along - Quiet along

- The Potomac tonight
- The Potomac tonight

Oh!

- And one for me.
- And Buckley, you better use the chalk.

That last 100 you put on your
pile was 200 stuck together.

Oh.

Well, no need to argue.

One for me and three for you.

One for me and...

three for you. Well,
that's the lot of it.

It's a pleasure to do
business with you, Mr. Buckley.

No, Buckley, we'll just fold
them up together, side by side...

for just a teensy bit longer.

Maverick, partner, tell me you're not
thinking what I know you're thinking.

What's that, Buckley?

You don't want that money on
your conscience. Not all that money.

Don't be evil-minded.

Now if you'll just sit up and turn
around with your hands behind you...

long enough for me
to get a loop on you.

There we go.

This is an awful blow, Maverick.

If a man can't trust
his best friend...

whom can he trust?

Well, I'm doggoned if I know.

Now if you'll just lie down there
comfortably, I'll sort of hog tie you.

Comfortably.

Look here, Maverick.

I don't want you to do anything you'll
be ashamed of the rest of your life.

You know the way lawyers
take money is one thing...

the way thieves
take it is another.

Believe me, Buckley, this is
the only part that I really enjoy.

And I'm doing this for your
own good. I am your lawyer.

You're not paying me
just to make you a fugitive.

I have to go back to Junction
Flats and clear your good name.

Of course, I am being
a little selfish about it.

I'm trying to clear
my own name too.

I may wanna come back to
Wyoming again sometime.

But believe me, one of these days
you're gonna thank me for what I'm doing.

I believe my bath is ready. You'll
excuse me if I freshen up a bit.

Well, first off, sheriff, tell
me how your nephew is.

He's better. He ain't
good. But he's better.

I can't tell you how
happy that makes me.

Well, that's good.

Now let's start figuring
out what you came here for.

All right.

Ain't it wonderful how these
young jackleg lawyers...

works day and
night for their clients?

Even when they ain't
got no clients anymore.

Sure beats all, sheriff.

Well, I still got my client.

Maybe you wouldn't mind
telling us where you got him.

- I was just getting to that.
- Well, get to it fast.

Sheriff, I got a
proposition to make.

Now, my client likes to think of
himself as a law-abiding citizen.

- A good, honest, upright man.
- He does?

And when I took over this case,
my client was sitting back there...

in his dungeon cell, swearing
he was an innocent man.

Well, state your proposition.

If you'll give me your personal
guarantee that he won't be lynched...

if you'll take a personal responsibility
that he'll be safe and alive...

when the circuit judge gets here,
my client is willing to give himself up.

I don't want him.

I don't think I
heard you, sheriff.

Leroy, when he came to this
morning, owned up that he drew first.

Well, sheriff, that's gonna make my
client the happiest man in the world.

Well, now, I just wish there was some way
that you can get that message back to him.

How's that again?

Because you ain't in no
position to tell him yourself.

Well, I don't think I
follow you, sheriff.

Mr. Maverick, shooting people's
one thing. Folks does it all the time.

Lots of times it's done just because
they're high-spirited and prankish.

But what you did ain't prankish.
It was cold-blooded mean.

It's a crime against nature
and the statutes of Wyoming.

Did I do something wrong?

Mr. Maverick, you
washed up today.

You didn't get the dirt out from
underneath your fingernails.

Now let's see what we've
got you on the books for.

Obstructing justice, aiding
in the escape of a felon.

- You told me yourself he wasn't a felon.
- He was at the time.

Mr. Maverick, if you're still alive and
safe when the circuit judge gets here...

you're gonna know where to have
your mail sent for the next 30 years.

See that he stays
comfortable, George.

Don't take your eyes
off him for a minute.

He's the tricky one. He's
the dangerous criminal.

Goodnight, sheriff.

Goodnight, counselor.

Oh, I forgot to
tell you something.

Don't be gabby because
it can be used against you.

Buckley, I'm waiting.

Well, let's see.

It would still take him another half
hour to work his way out of his ropes.

Another five minutes to figure out that I
hadn't made off with the company funds...

that I really had
gone to see the sheriff.

Getting into town would take at least
an hour longer than it had taken me...

because he'd be
coming in roundabout...

so as not to meet any
public officials on the road.

But then how would
he know I was here?

Oh, he'd find out some way.

Then how would he break me out? I
couldn't see Dandy Jim doing heavy work.

He'd stay neat at all costs.

Suddenly, I had
a horrible thought.

You suppose he'd just sit off to one
side and wait for me to break myself out?

You know, just for a change,
we might play slap jack.

All right. Slap jack.

That ought to be the sheriff.

But that ain't his knock.

Well, don't give up
hope. It might be the mob.

Yeah? BUCKLEY: Open up.

Good evening.

I'm a fugitive from justice.
I've come to give myself up.

And good evening to you.

I had to come back and make
sure they were treating you right.

We need another
hand for the game.

- You come in with your hands raised.
- Delighted.

Oh.

- What are you doing here?
- Well, paying my debt to society.

Dandy boy, your folks
will be proud of you.

Well, I always try
to do the right thing.

Tell me, deputy, which room is mine?
The last room was rather drafty, you know.

Why did you have to pick a
time like now to give yourself up?

I got no place to put you.

Don't tell me I need a reservation
to break into jail. You've lots of room.

You know I ain't got
the key to them cells.

The sheriff keeps
them in the safe.

I'd forgotten all about that.

Do you want to go get the sheriff or
me? Either way is agreeable to me.

You could just as well have waited
to turn yourself in in the morning.

My work's complicated
enough as it is.

Did you ever see
this done, deputy?

Try and touch your
hand with your...

Buckley, I always thought
you were reasonably smart.

Well, aren't I?

No, you aren't. This is the
stupidest thing you've done yet.

You come busting in with a lot of
fireworks, a lot of smart alec tricks...

they don't amount
to a hill of beans.

Where do you suppose
they keep handcuffs?

- In the top drawer.
- Oh.

All you've done is hurt
this gentleman's feelings.

- You haven't helped me at all.
- Oh, come now.

Mustn't throw in your cards
before I've finished dealing.

So just where do
you plan to start?

- You're gonna gnaw through the bars?
- I'll use the keys, of course.

The keys, my
friend, are in the safe.

Well, what goes shut must
come open again. Heh, heh, heh.

Could I lend you a
hair pin or something?

Don't you just love
his sense of humor?

What a nice safe. I've
never tried one quite like it.

Really well built. Can't
even hear the tumblers click.

Well, I hope no
one's in a hurry.

This isn't the sort of job
you can just rush through.

- Take your time.
- You're wasting your time, mister.

- That safe wouldn't open with dynamite.
- I could steal some dynamite.

But, no. No, I can't destroy
other people's property.

He's one of the most kind-hearted
men you'd ever wanna meet.

Very thoughtful and considerate.

- Mr. Pyne, are you up?
- I'm up.

- Are you up early or are you up late?
- Both.

What you fussing and
brooding about this time?

I got things on my mind, Ma.

I don't rightly
know what they are.

I think I'll mosey on down
and have a look at the jail.

Sit down.

You think somebody's
made off with it?

Morrie Pyne, I don't know
what's got into you lately.

But it's getting worse
all the time. You

ain't been yourself
at all since all that...

- Don't you say it.
- You ain't paid to work 24 hours a day.

Now just unfold
yourself and come to bed.

It's really quite
tedious, you know.

But it wouldn't be fun
if it were easy, would it?

Nothing like the
joy of honest labor.

Yes. It's all in the way a
body's brought up, I suppose.

Did you ever read the story of Robert
the Bruce when you were a child?

No. And I just don't believe
that you were ever a child.

Heh, heh. Well, Robert the Bruce was
king of Scotland or one of those places.

And he was having
a devil of a time.

Then one day he was sitting in
a cave watching a little spider...

trying to spin a web
across a cranny.

Six times that little spider
tried but he simply couldn't do it.

But when he tried the seventh
time, do you know what happened?

Robert the Bruce leaned
over and stomped on him?

I wish you hadn't
interrupted me.

Now I can't even remember
how the story came out.

I think I've got two of them.

Those things must be
frightfully uncomfortable.

He keeps looking like he's
listening for something outside.

Of course he does because he is.

You're hoping to hear the
sheriff coming, aren't you?

- That's right.
- Well, you should have known that.

It's the nature of man. Man can't
live without something to hope for.

I'm not hoping.
I'm just waiting.

That's right. Don't
let me stop you.

Sheriff, what a delightful...
Drop the gun, please.

- How'd you get in here?
- Well, your friendly assistant let me in.

Did you give him your gun too?

Oh, no, he didn't give it to him,
sheriff. My friend here took it.

Cutest trick you ever saw.

Bret, it's really nothing. I've
done it countless times before.

Here, we'll show
you. I'll take the gun.

Well, heh, heh, heh.

You see, you try and
touch your hand with... Unh!

But George forgot to back up.

Okay, Maverick, your humor
is becoming a bit tiresome.

Sorry, Buckley, I
couldn't resist it.

Are you gonna tie
him up or lock him up?

Tie him up? In the
best jail in Wyoming?

May I trouble you for the
keys, please? Thank you.

Now if you'll just
step this way.

Sheriff, I could almost
feel sorry for you.

But you would have let the
decent element lynch me.

- You shot that boy.
- Now, that's what I mean.

So you'll have to
feel sorry for yourself.

Boys, don't leave me like this.

Shoot me. Kill me.

Sheriff, that's against the law.

Forty-nine eighty,
4980, 5000, 5000.

This business of dividing it
up is becoming monotonous.

I almost wish one or
the other had all of it.

I know you do, Buckley.

Well, Maverick, which
way shall we go now?

- You can go that way and I'll go that way.
- Oh.

Oh, uh, may I have my gun?

You can buy a new one
somewhere. You're a rich man now.

Maverick, parting is
such sweet sorrow.

I know that too. Goodbye, Jim.

Goodbye, Bret.

Oh, one thing, Bret, whatever
became of Hognose Hughes?

Three months later, he got ahold of some
bad chili at a picnic and died in agony.

Oh.

Oh, well.

All quiet along the
Potomac tonight

Except here and
there a stray picket

Is shot as he walks
on his beat, to and fro

Buckley.

It's me, old boy.

- Where'd you get that buffalo rifle?
- I found it.

On the ground, please.

Now, I wonder if you'd
mind standing up?

Weeping sad and lonely

Hopes and fears, how vain

When this cruel war is over

Praying that we meet again