Maude (1972–1978): Season 6, Episode 4 - Victoria's Boyfriend - full transcript

♪ Lady Godiva was
a freedom rider ♪

♪ She didn't care if the
whole world looked ♪

♪ Joan of Arc, with
the Lord to guide her ♪

♪ She was a sister
who really cooked ♪

♪ Isadora was the
first bra burner ♪

♪ Ain't you glad
she showed up? ♪

♪ And when the country
was falling apart ♪

♪ Betsy Ross got
it all sewed up ♪

♪ And then there's Maude ♪

♪ Right on, Maude! ♪♪

Oh! Oh!



Oh... Oh!

Ah!

Walter!

What?!

Maude, where's the coffee?

Never mind, Walter
- this is important.

Maude, nothing's more
important than my morning coffee!

Walter, Victoria's bed
has not been slept in -

she hasn't been home all night.

This morning, she's
nowhere to be found.

Neither is the coffee!

For all we know, Walter, our housekeeper
could be lying dead somewhere.

Maybe it doesn't matter to you,

but Victoria's more than
just a housekeeper to me,



she's more like my daughter.

Victoria's probably all right.

She's most likely out
with her new boyfriend.

Now tell me where
she keeps the coffee.

Did you look in the
can marked 'coffee'?

Yes! There's flour in it!

Then did you look in
the can marked 'flour'?

No.

Well, doesn't it figure if
there is flour in the coffee can,

that there might be
something other than flour

in the flour can?

Like sugar.

Hello.

Victoria Butterfield -
who's calling, please?

Oh, of course I know who
you are, Mr. Butterfield.

Victoria talks about
you all the time.

But I thought you live
in the West Indies?

I see.

How interesting.

Walter! Walter,
it's Victoria's father.

He's a steward for
Royal West Indies Airlines

and he's in New
York on a layover.

If he's an airline steward, ask
him to bring me a cup of coffee.

Why am I including you
in on this conversation?

Uh, I'm terribly
sorry, Mr. Bu...

Victoria? Um...

I-I sent her out to do
some shopping for me.

Oh, well, if you're at the
Tuckahoe Railway Station,

then you're only
ten minutes away.

Right. We'll see you then.

Ta-ta.

What are we going to do? We can't
let him know Victoria was out all night!

What will he think? Carol!

If Carol doesn't
know where she is,

we'll have to call the
hospitals, the police,

possibly even the morgue.

Maude, you're starting to panic.
That's not gonna do any good.

You're right, honey. I'm sorry.

Let's talk this over quietly

and calmly and let's try
to figure it out rationally.

Of course.

Now...

where do you think
she hid the coffee?

Carol! Carol!

Carol, wake up and
come right down here!

I have something
important to ask you.

Carol!

Carol, did you hear me?

What do you want, Mother?

I...

You've been out all
night! Where were you?

I was watching the sunrise.

Watching the sunrise...

The people at
Coppertone salute you.

Who were you with?

Mother, I am a little upset, I
really don't wanna discuss it.

OK, if it's that painful,
we won't discuss it.

Thank you.

The subject is closed.

- Good.
- Who were you with?

Mother, it is none
of your business!

What do you mean it
is none of my business?

I happen to be your mother, and
I want to know what you're doing!

Victoria! Oh, thank heavens!

You had me worried to
death! Where have you been?

I was out with George, and
we stayed up to see the sunrise.

You cute little minx, you!

You and George are getting
very serious, aren't you?

Momentito!

What is this 'cute little
minx' business with Victoria,

but when I stay out
all night you yell at me?

My darling, there
is a great difference

between a minx and a mink.

Walter... Walter,
our Victoria is in love.

Act interested!

I'm sorry. Victoria,
this George of yours,

is he a pretty bright guy?

Oh, very bright.

Well, then do you
think he'd know

where I could find some
coffee around here?

No. Mrs. Findlay
told me not to buy any

till it went down to $1...

I do vaguely remember
having said something like that.

Maude, you really take the cake!

I mean, holding me
hostage in a price war!

Boy, you're really something
else, Maude - you really are!

I'm going over to the Harmons
and borrow some coffee from them.

What do you think of that?

Actually, I'm rather
pleased he's gone.

Victoria, I almost forgot,
I have a surprise for you!

Guess who is on
his way over here.

Who?

Your father.

Oh!

What are you talking about?

He is right here in Tuckahoe,
he should be here any moment.

Oh! How nice.

- Honey, is there
something wrong?
- No!

Are you sure?

No, nothing's wrong.

I'm very happy
my father's coming.

Just a minute, I can tell
when someone is troubled.

I have an eye for
that, right, Carol?

I'd say 'nose' is a better word.

Carol, Carol, Carol.

My fondest wish
is that when I'm 83

you won't have enough
money to send me to a home.

Victoria...

Victoria, I find that
if you're troubled,

if you confide in someone
you love and respect,

the burden is
much easier to bear.

You're right, Mrs. Findlay.

Thank you.

- Carol, let's talk
in the kitchen.
- Sure.

Wait a minute!

Seriously, wouldn't
you like someone

who's a little bit older
and a little bit wiser

to help you with your problems?

No.

Well, at least now I
have some hot coffee.

Arthur sold it to
me for 75 cents.

Oh, Victoria, George is
a very nice looking guy.

I know.

But if my father finds out that
George isn't a West Indian,

he's going to insist
I break off with him.

But you're a grown woman.

Yes, but my father's very forceful
and domineering and strong.

Just like my mother.

Well, not that strong.

Victoria, we have the
same problem - parents.

A couple of months ago, I was going
out with a guy named Eddie Winslow.

He was married and hadn't
got around to getting a divorce.

Well, my mother found
out about it and hit the roof.

I had to break off with him and swear
to her that I would never see him again.

And that's who you
were with last night.

Right. But I haven't told her,

because I wanted to
spare myself the hassle.

All right, you two, I'm
gonna level with you.

Not being in on this
is driving me batty.

Now, I really feel I can help.

Victoria, I consider
you my daughter,

and, Carol, you're like
a daughter to me, too.

With my father coming, I don't
want him to see me like this.

Wait, Victoria,
please wait a minute.

I really feel that I can help.

Do you know that in China,

age is revered for its wisdom?

- Let's go upstairs
and change.
- Right.

The last time I believe
a fortune cookie.

Walter.

I want you to see a picture
of Victoria's boyfriend.

Walter, where are you?

Oh, I know where he went
- he took the sports page.

Victoria, hurry up! That's
probably your father right now!

- Good morning.
- Good morning!

I presume you are Mrs. Findlay.

Yes. And with the lilt of the
West Indies in your speech,

you must be Victoria's father.

Enter our house and
partake of our hospitality

as the hummingbird
sucks on a mango.

I beg your pardon?

I guess if you've seen one
hummingbird suck a mango

you've seen them all.

Please, sit down. Sit down.

Victoria should be
down any moment.

Oh, you must be so
terribly proud of her.

Do you know that in night school

she is one of the brightest
students in her class?

She'll make a marvelous nurse.

I am very glad to
hear you say that.

Plus, I have a feeling

that in a very short time

you'll be losing a daughter.

Oh?

Don't they make a
handsome couple?

They're absolutely
ga-ga about each other.

Well, he seems a
nice looking chap.

Do you know which
island he comes from?

St. Croix? St. Thomas?

I believe St. Louis.

St. Louis?

Missouri.

Father!

Girl, how could you do
this terrible thing to me?

Oh, please, Papa,
please don't be upset.

But he's an American.
I'm astonished.

Just a moment,
Mr. Butterfield, you mean...

you're upset because Victoria's
boyfriend is an American?

No. I'm upset because
Victoria's boyfriend is a negro.

So he is.

Mrs. Findlay, maybe
I should explain.

Amongst old-fashioned
island people...

Old-fashioned?

Old-fashioned.

It's not acceptable
for a West Indian

to become involved
with an American black.

I knew it!

I should never have let
you come to this country.

As soon as you
get here, right away,

you start passing for black.

Well, she certainly
had me fooled.

Victoria, I have no choice but to
take you back to St. Norman with me.

Now go upstairs
and pack your things.

Father, you can't be serious?

You just can't ask
me to leave like this.

What about my job?
What about my school?

Victoria, I gave
you a direct order.

Now go upstairs and pack.

Remember, I am your father.

Just a minute, Mr. Butterfield.

I'm afraid Victoria is not
the timid little daughter

you knew back on St. Norman.

Since she's been in this house, she's
become a very proud, forceful woman.

If you think you can
just snap your fingers

and expect her to pay
any attention at all...

well, you are living
in a fool's paradise.

Victoria, now.

Oh, all right!

On the other hand,
I could be wrong.

Victoria, please,
come back down.

Well, that's settled.

Now, while Victoria is packing,

if you'll excuse me, I'm
going out for a sandwich.

Mr. Butterfield, your daughter
is upstairs crushed, devastated.

What kind of a man would go out
for a sandwich at a time like this?

I don't care to discuss my
decisions with a stranger.

But I'm certainly -

Especially a woman.

'Especially a woman.'

You hate blacks,
now you hate women -

is there anything else you hate?

Yes.

Aunt Jemima pancakes.

Mr. Butterfield, I'll have you
know I'm proud to be a woman.

I cherish the fact
that I am a woman.

Above all else, I am a woman.

Good. Very good, indeed. In that
case, you make me a sandwich.

You...!

I'm going to ignore that remark.

But I'll tell you right now,

I am not allowing
Victoria to leave this house

unless it is her decision
as a liberated woman.

As a what?

Surely even on St. Norman
you've heard of a liberated woman?

Oh, yes, we have the
bones of one in our museum.

I have never allowed myself to
say this to a black person before,

but I don't like you.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Victoria, no dilly-dallying.
Go on with your packing.

I just came down
to get an aspirin.

I can't get any from upstairs
because the bathroom door is locked.

And now while we're
waiting for my daughter,

and since I can't
get a sandwich,

perhaps you'd be kind enough
to lend me your sports section.

The sports section,
it's not available -

we keep it locked
in the bathroom.

Then perhaps a cup of coffee?

Actually, that's locked
in the bathroom, too.

I just talked to Victoria.

Carol, I'd like you to meet
Mr. Butterfield, this is Victoria's father.

My daughter, Carol.

- How do you do?
- Hello.

This is so sad.

It is not sad. I am not
allowing Mr. Butterfield

to take Victoria
anywhere against her will.

That's just it, Victoria
wants to go with him.

She just told me.

I don't believe this.

Typical woman: can't face facts.

I should have cold-cocked
you when I had the chance.

Victoria, Carol just told me
something I cannot believe.

That you want to go
back with your father.

That's true, ma'am.

Victoria, you'd be
going against your will!

Please, try to understand, I
have to go back with my father!

Victoria, even if it means giving up
your happiness and your independence?

And your only chance
for a fulfilling life?

What other way is there to
show my father that I love him?

Have you ever considered
a nice tie at Christmas?

I'm sorry. I'm very sad.

But I have to do my
duty as a daughter.

Oh, Victoria. Victoria!

A false sense of duty
can be a very tragic thing.

I'm gonna tell you a story
from my own experience.

Once there were two sisters.

One was very frivolous, only
interested in having a good time.

The other was more
serious and more responsible.

Well, one day, their
mother became terribly ill.

The doctor assured them
that, yes, she would recover,

but she would require constant
attention for at least a year.

Well, the frivolous sister
said: 'Let's hire a nurse'.

After all, we have
our own lives to live.'

But the serious sister said,
'No, I will take care of her.

It is my duty as a daughter.'

Well, because of that
false sense of duty,

the responsible sister gave
up one whole year of her life

and she became very
bitter and very resentful

because of all the
happiness she had sacrificed.

And the mother, sensing this,
became angry with the daughter.

And, Victoria, to this day,

my mother and my sister
do not speak to each other.

Mother, you never
told me that story.

So?

Your only duty to
your father, Victoria,

is to be honest with him

and tell him exactly
how you feel.

My father wouldn't
like that at all.

He'd get angry with me.

We'd fight!

Victoria, fighting is a
very healthy thing to do.

Carol and I fight all the time.

That's for sure.

Do you mind? I'm talking!

What we do is a
very loving thing.

It means that we're...

we're able to express to each
other exactly what we feel.

Like a couple of months ago,

Carol was running around
with this jerk, Eddie Winslow.

Mother, don't be stupid.
Eddie is not a jerk.

How I love you for that.

Anyway, this jerk,
Eddie Winslow...

pretended he was
getting a divorce,

but he was just
stringing Carol along.

Oh, we fought long and hard
about that, didn't we, Carol?

We certainly did.

But, thank heaven,
Carol came to her senses

and broke it up with
that jerk, Eddie Winslow.

But... even if she
hadn't, Victoria,

I'd still love her.

But I... I think I love
her just a little bit more

because she had the courage

to stand up for
what she believed.

Oh, Mother. That was beautiful.

It's from the heart.

Well...

I have to tell you
something from the heart.

I was out all night last
night with Eddie Winslow.

I love you for telling me that.

Now go and pack,
you're leaving with her.

I thought you were going to
love me no matter what I did?

How could I
possibly love anybody

who's a bigger jerk
than Eddie Winslow?

Mother, I have my own life to
live, which you seem to forget!

And who gave you that life?

Oh, the pain!

Have you any idea what
you weighed at birth?

Not enough.

How dare you take this...

I am old enough to
have a son of my own...!

I am old enough to be your
mother, and I am your mother.

Yes, but you just keep
butting into my life and...

It's beautiful!

Oh, Father, it's beautiful!

What is all that
racket out there?

Father, that's Mrs. Findlay and
her daughter, they're fighting!

That's a disgrace.

No, it isn't, it's beautiful.

They're completely
open and honest.

Liar!

I say, it is a disgrace

for a daughter to raise
her voice to her mother.

Even that mother.

Oh...

Father, no, it
isn't. Not always.

Yes, it is, girl.

Don't you remember the
story of the Sassy Little Parrot?

The little parrot was
hanging by his beak

from the branch
of a plantain tree.

Down below him
was a big old alligator,

his jaws wide open.

The parrot's daddy said:

'Bubba, don't you hang
by your beak from that tree.'

And the little parrot
said: 'Why not?'

That is the last time that parrot
ever questioned his daddy.

Papa, I don't want
to go back with you.

What? What are you saying?

Father...

do you have any
idea who I really am,

or what I really feel right now?

Victoria Ramsay Butterfield,
march up those stairs this minute

and finish your packing!

This is the last time I'm gonna
say this to you. I am your father!

Can this be my daughter?

Try to understand, Papa.

I'm doing this
because I love you.

- Ay!
- And I love you enough
to let you know

exactly what my feelings are.

That is the first time you ever
kissed me without my telling you to.

That is the first time
I've really felt that I could.

I see you are determined.

And it's all because of
that big bodacious woman!

My only hope is that her
bones end up in our museum!

Papa, don't fight me on this.

Please?

All right.

Oh, Victoria.

Now tell me...

is it serious with this,
er, colored fellow?

It could be.

Before you do anything
rash, think of the children.

I don't care how long
you were in labor with me.

Of course you don't, even then
all you thought about was yourself.

Listen, mother, what I do with that
jerk Eddie Winslow is my own business.

I'm just doing what
you told Victoria to do.

You told her to run her
life, I'm gonna run my life.

Right into the ground!

Mrs. Findlay, guess what - I'm
not going back with my father!

Good! He can take Carol!

Ooh, better tell
her, too! Carol!

Well, I think our
Mr. Shakespeare said it best.

'How sharper than a serpent's
tooth is an ungrateful child.'

Our Mr. Shakespeare.

Boy, when you decide not to be black,
you pull out ♪ all the stops, don't you?

Come, come, Mrs. Findlay,
we should call a truce.

After all, we're both
in the same boat.

How did that happen?

It had something
to do with love.

Ah, yes, love.

The greatest home
wrecker of them all.

Mrs. Findlay...

may I take you
out for a sandwich?

Why don't I make
one for both of us?

"Maude" was recorded on
videotape before a studio audience.