Maude (1972–1978): Season 6, Episode 17 - Vivian's Decision - full transcript

♪ Lady Godiva was
a freedom rider ♪

♪ She didn't care if the
whole world looked ♪

♪ Joan of Arc with
the Lord to guide her ♪

♪ She was a sister
who really cooked ♪

♪ Isadora was the
first bra burner ♪

♪ Ain't you glad
she showed up? ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ And when the country
was falling apart ♪

♪ Betsy Ross got
it all sewed up ♪

♪ And then there's Maude ♪

♪ Right on, Maude ♪



♪ Oh, give a cheer
for college friends ♪

♪ And happiness ♪

♪ That never ends ♪

- Bye, Sylvia.
- Bye-bye, Sylvia.

So long, dear.

Wow.

Our old room.

♪ Oh, we're the
girls of Gamma Chi ♪

♪ We're demure and we are shy ♪

♪ We wear gloves
and dainty hose ♪

♪ If you don't like
it, up your nose ♪

Oh. Oh.

Oh, Vivian, is that cute?

Look, "Class of '78
welcomes the Class of '48."



Oh, Maude, I'm so glad
we came to our reunion.

Here's to our college days.

Oh, Vivian, here we are
back in the old sorority,

us back in our very own room.

And nothing's changed.

Nope. It's been 30 years

and your bed still isn't made.

You know, I think you had
just a little too much to drink

at that champagne reception.

You're right.
Isn't it wonderful?

Well, I guess I'd better
call Arthur and check in,

that ought to sober me up.

Vivian, why do you have to
keep checking in with Arthur?

If you'll notice I
haven't called Walter

and he's fun to talk to.

Hi, Mrs. Findlay, Mrs. Harmon,

I'm Sally Houser.

Sally Houser.

Sally. Sally, I really think
it's just so nice of you

to give up your room like this.

Oh, no problem.

I'm going out of town on
a job interview anyhow.

You don't even
graduate until May

and you're already going
out of town by yourself

on a job interview?

Oh, that's so
modern and exciting.

Yeah.

I'll be finished packing
in just a few minutes.

Oh, Viv, doesn't she
remind you of us?

You know, Sally, Viv
and I were just saying

that even though
it's been 30 years,

nothing has changed
here at the sorority house.

Everything is exactly as it was

when Viv and I lived here.

Hey, Sal.

I think you got my
deodorant by mistake.

Ooh, hey.

You're right, Teddy. Sorry.

That's okay.

Hi, ladies. Welcome
back to the campus.

If you need some
deodorant while you're here,

feel free.

There are clean
sheets on the bed

and there are extra
blankets in the closet

and feel free to
use the television.

Any questions?

Yeah. I have one.

Who is that tall sorority sister

with a towel around his waist?

Oh, oh, we've shared
the house with the guys

from the Phi Alpha
for the past five years.

It cuts down on expenses.

We share everything.

It's very convenient.

That it is.

Well, I'm gonna go borrow
some shampoo from Teddy

and then I'll be
out of your way.

Boy, Maude,

those coeds today
have so much freedom.

Oh, I just feel so jealous
of that, Sally Houser.

She can just do
anything she wants,

be anything she wants,

shower with anything she wants.

Things have really changed.

I remember when we used
to take a shower to cool off.

Quite a hunk that boy was, huh?

I'll say.

And for some reason,

I'm always turned
on by terrycloth.

You know, my first husband,

um...

- Chuck.
- Chuck. Yeah.

He had a build like that

when we were in college
together, remember?

I remember that.

Yeah.

And, you know, Maude?

When we were in school together,

we never went out
on job interviews.

I mean, we didn't really think

about our careers
very much, you know?

I married Chuck
right after graduation.

And I married Barney.

But we had our dreams, Viv.

Golly, I remember
in my senior year

I used to fantasize about
going on to law school,

maybe even
getting into politics.

Yeah.

And I always want
to do something

kind of wild and crazy.

I remember...

I remember thinking
about what it would be like

to be a subway operator.

Now, here I am married to Arthur

and he won't even let
me ride in the subway.

Oh, do we really have
to talk about Arthur?

He's two hours away but
I can smell his wet blanket

all the way up here.

Oh, well, I really
should call him, Maude.

I have to see if it's all
right for me to cash a check

to pay for my ticket
to the banquet tonight.

Vivian, do you mean
that Arthur is so tightfisted

that you have to ask
permission to cash a check?

Well, no, he's not... he's
not really that tightfisted.

He gives me a very
generous household allowance

and on top of that, he
gives me $7 a week,

just for mad money.

Mad money?

$7 couldn't bring a
decent froth to your lips.

Well, it's not really
as bad as it sounds.

You see, I secretly pocket

another dollar and a quarter.

It's the money Arthur
thinks I spend on cat food.

Why would Arthur
think you buy cat food?

Your cat died two years ago.

But I never told
Arthur she died.

Whenever he comes home
and asks me where the cat is,

I just tell him
she's up in a tree.

Vivian, I don't... I don't know

how you can put up with Arthur.

I really don't. I mean,
how can I put it politely?

I can't. He's a jerk.

Viv, listen.

Listen, Sylvia Kirchner is
in the... in the next room.

There's no... she's playing
that old Duke Ellington record.

"Take the 'A' Train."

Viv, what does
that remind you of?

That Arthur won't let
me ride in the subways.

Shut up, you fool
and dance with me.

It's so good to
know that my feet

have not lost their magic.

Well, I'm all set.

I borrowed some
shampoo from Cindy

and I got my soap on
a rope back from Hal.

Is Hal in the shower with Cindy?

Yes, he is.

She has been trying to
get him in there all month.

Hal's her cocker
spaniel, he's filthy.

Oh.

I am so excited about
this job interview.

I've never done
anything like this before.

Oh, girls don't just get married

right after college
anymore, do they, Sally?

Hmm, not too much.

My older sister had
four different jobs

before she got married.

Gee, that's funny. I had
four different husbands

before I got a job.

What's this job you're
gonna see about?

It's a small art museum
in Cliffside, New Jersey.

I'd be the fundraiser.

But that's exactly what I do.

- Really?
- Yes.

I raise the money for the
Tuckahoe Art Museum.

Well, last year, Viv
raised over $50,000.

Yeah. The art museum bought

some very lovely
pieces with the money.

That is exactly the kind
of job I'm interviewing for.

Let me ask you
something, Mrs. Harmon.

Now, they have offered
me $9,500 a year to start.

Now, I know you must
make a lot more than that

and I don't wanna
get too personal.

But do you feel that that
is a fair starting salary?

They're going to pay you money?

Of course.

It's a job, my career.

Don't they pay you, Mrs. Harmon?

No. I'm a volunteer.

Sally, I'm in the business world

and I think that $9,500

is an excellent starting salary.

Oh, great.

I'm so excited.

Good luck, Sally.

Thank you.

Enjoy your weekend.

Thank you.

Oh, isn't that wonderful, Viv?

A young girl like that

just grabbing life by the horns.

Doesn't... doesn't
she excite you?

Doesn't she give you a thrill?

I'd like to push her
teeth down her throat.

Vivian.

Well, it just makes me mad.

That little punky Sally Houser

is gonna get almost $10, 000.

I do the very same thing.

And what do I get?

Zilch.

Vivian, you seem
awfully moody today.

I don't get it, Maude.

It just makes me mad.

I know it seems like
some place along the line,

somebody change the rules on me.

Changed what rules?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't... I...

I just know that...

I didn't really wanna
get married to Chuck

right after college, you know.

I kind of wanted
to go to New York

and get a nice job

and have a great little
apartment, you know,

and some interesting
friends and...

do some wild, crazy things.

But everybody told me if
I wanted true fulfillment,

I should get married
and be a good wife.

So I did.

Only now, everybody tells me

if I want true fulfillment,

I should be going out
and doing all these things

I wanted to do
in the first place.

Only now it's too late.

And I have to call Arthur...

in Tuckahoe.

And check-in.

And beg him to let
me write a check.

Oh, boy, this reunion isn't
much fun at all anymore.

Listen, Vivian, if this
is the way you feel,

I'm gonna try to
salvage the weekend.

I think that you should
get on that phone

and call Arthur and tell him

there are gonna be
some changes made.

You tell him you're gonna
be an independent woman.

You tell him that your happiness

is gonna take top
priority from now on.

And maybe we can get
back and have some fun.

Maybe, I'll just
wait 'till I get home.

No, no, no. You are
going to do it right now.

Now, Vivian, you are
a very unhappy woman.

All of these can be
changed with one phone call.

You know, you're right.

I'll do it.

I'll do it right now.

Oh.

Gosh.

I feel 30 years younger already.

Go, Viv. Go.

Hello, Arthur.

This is Vivian.

Listen, I've just
been to... what?

Oh, well, if she's
not around the house,

she must be up in a tree.

Arthur, listen... listen to me.

Now, I've been talking to Maude

and she's told me what
I have to do to be happy.

And so, Arthur...

Arthur, I'm gonna go to New
York and get a little apartment

and take life by the horns.

I'm leaving you, Arthur.

All right.

Huh?

What? Did I leave something out?

What has come over you?

Vivian, are you insane?

I feel wonderful.

Over an hour ago,
you were on the phone

breaking up a perfectly
fine, six-year-old marriage.

Now, you say you feel wonderful.

Isn't there are someone
other than yourself

that you should be thinking of?

Well, I... I do feel a
little sorry for Arthur.

The hell with Arthur.

What about me?

What did I do to you?

You told Arthur
that I was the one

who gave you this crazy idea.

I just want to give you credit.

I know you always like to
take credit for everything.

Vivian, I like credit.

I don't need guilt.

I don't know what
you to feel guilty.

I want you to feel proud.

You've just opened up
a whole new life for me.

Vivian, why do you
keep blaming me?

I didn't do anything.

Well, sure you did.

You told me Arthur is a jerk.

You didn't know that?

Well, yes.

But you really brought
it to my attention.

Vivian, Arthur is not a jerk.

- I think he is.
- Oh, all right.

All right. All right.
All right, Vivian.

All right, for argument's sake,

let's say that Arthur is a jerk,

that's still no
reason to leave him.

I mean, what would this
country be if every woman

got a divorce because
she was married to a jerk?

We'd have 70 million women
dancing with each other.

Listen, Maude. All I know is

I want some
excitement in my life

like that little
punk, Sally Houser.

Vivian, I'm gonna
lay it right on the line.

I know what your fantasy is.

Dump-poor-loyal-solid Arthur,

go off on your own,
taste some new wine.

Honey, you're in for
a big disappointment.

Wait till you see
what kind of man

is waiting out there.

Wait until you see
what kind of man

is actually available.

Here's that deodorant.

Will you...

I didn't say you needed it.

I was just offering.

I'm gonna get me some of that.

All right. It's true what
they say, the flesh is weak.

Sure. It didn't look weak to me.

Vivian!

I'm talking about your flesh.

Now, come on, Vivian.

You got to pull
yourself together.

I don't think you
should even think

about leaving Arthur
anymore until you...

Until you at least sober
up, now, don't you agree?

- I guess so.
- All right.

Now, sit down. And
no more drinking.

I'm gonna get you
a nice cup of coffee.

Maybe you should
take a nice hot shower.

- Hey.
- Forget about it.

♪ ...Purple balls ♪

♪ Over sleepy garden walls ♪

♪ And a star... ♪

Viv, look at this.

It's Sylvia Kirchner's
husband Eddy.

He's serenading
her with a ukulele.

Chuck used to... Used
to serenade you like that,

- do you remember?
- Yes.

In fact, that's the
very same song

Chuck always used
to sing, "Deep Purple."

Maude, do you know what?

I can remember
the very first time

he ever serenaded me, Maude.

It was right before the
end of our senior year

and I was sitting right here,

thinking about how
much I really wanted

to go to New York
after graduation.

I was so excited.

But... but it was so scary too.

I was just scared
about everything,

you know, would I... would
I be able take care of myself

and... and would I
be able to find a job,

would I really be good at it

or would I be
lonely and cry a lot?

Would I be able to find
a really cute apartment

on Park Avenue
that I can afford?

And while I was sitting
here, feeling so afraid,

all of a sudden, there was Chuck

beneath my window,

playing that old ukulele
and singing Deep Purple.

And you know what I realized
at that moment, Maude?

I realized that I could...

I could marry Chuck and...

And then I wouldn't
have to worry about...

going to New York and
making all those decisions.

I could just let Chuck
take care of me.

Boy, I never forgive
Chuck for that.

All right.

But, Vivian, that's the
way things were then.

I mean, none of
us knew any better.

You married Chuck,
I married Barney.

Yeah. But you never
stayed married for a long.

I've been a
prisoner of marriage.

I've been out on parole a lot.

But my life is
such a horrible lie.

Oh, Viv, come
on. It is not a lie.

Oh, yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Every time I look in the mirror,

all I see is a woman
who can't tell her husband

the cat died.

Vivian, you're blowing
this all out proportion.

There was nothing
to feel guilty about.

I mean, it's not as
if you killed the cat

to get the money.

You didn't.

Oh, no.

But it's when I was burying her

that I got the idea about
keeping the money.

Oh, why should I be dependent
on some man for money?

Right now, it's Arthur,
before that it was Chuck.

I... why should I have
to be miserable all my life

just because when
I was 20-years-old

and some boy who
reminded me a little bit of...

Of Van Johnson came
along under my window,

strumming his damn ukulele

and singing "Deep Purple."

- Viv.
- Ooh, now stop that.

Stop that, Chuck, I
don't wanna get married.

I wanna go to New York.

I wanna have fun.

I wanna be free.

I said stop that!

Chuck, stop that.

Hey!

Vivian!

Sylvia, that's not funny.

This is disgraceful.

You threw water on
Sylvia Kirchner's husband.

Oh, Maude?

Viv, Viv, don't cry.

Oh, don't cry, Viv.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

Actually, I was getting ready

to pour a water on him myself.

Maude, I'm so unhappy.

You know, I don't really
wanna leave Arthur.

I really love Arthur.

I just want to be appreciated.

I want to be necessary.

I wanna feel like a
real woman like that...

Like that punky, Sally Houser.

Vivian, your
trouble isn't Arthur.

And it isn't Chuck, it
isn't even Deep Purple.

It's you.

Breaking up your
marriage isn't gonna help.

Viv, it's not gonna
give you that freedom.

Standing up for yourself

is going to give
you that freedom.

Vivian, let those people
down at the museum know

that you think you're
worth something,

then they'll think
you're worth something.

You're right.

They should pay me.

I am going to insist
that they pay me.

Do you think they will?

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Well, sure they will.

- Unless they don't.
- Oh, Viv. They will.

What about Arthur?

You're going to
tell Arthur the truth.

You're going to tell him

there are going to be changes,

changes in your marriage,

changes in your
relationship, changes in you.

When he goes to bed at night,

there's gonna be a
new Vivian Harmon

lying next to him.

Arthur likes separate beds.

Another change his
gonna have to get used to.

Hello.

Yeah, she's here, Arthur.

And I am not a big buttinski.

It's Arthur.

He drove all the way
up from Tuckahoe, Viv.

He's... he's downstairs.

What... what am I
gonna say to him?

You're going to say to him
all the things that you said

you were going to say to him.

You were the one who said

I was going to say
all those things.

Why don't you say them to him?

Now, listen to me, Vivian,

you are at the
crossroads of your life.

Now is the time
for you to decide

whether you're
going to be a woman

who stands up for
yourself or a doormat.

Hello, Arthur. This is the
new Vivian Harmon speaking.

Arthur, I love you too
and I want to come home

but not as a doormat.

Now... now, Arthur, there
are going to have to be

some changes made.

First, I am going to
work at that museum

and they are going to pay me,

so I don't have
to depend on your

seven dollars a week allowance.

And second, we're gonna
move our twin beds together

and I don't care about
your postnasal drip.

Arthur, wait, wait.

Before you agree to my terms,

there's... there's one
other thing I have to tell you.

Now, Arthur...

our entire future
as man and wife

may depend upon how you
accept what I'm about to say.

Arthur...

the cat died two years ago.

I'll be right down.

He wants me back.

He said he loves me.

He agreed to everything I said.

- Oh, and guess what else?
- What?

He said he wants
to get me a new cat.

I guess he does appreciate me.

Oh, Vivian, this is wonderful.

Of course, I'll be out a
dollar and a quarter a week

- in cat food.
- Vivian, please.

You're not gonna be on
an allowance anymore.

You're an independent woman.

Right. Right.

Thanks to you.

Oh, boy, are you
a friend indeed?

Oh, Maude, I just hope someday

you get the reward you deserve.

Oh, Vivian, I will.

Oh, Sylvia Kirchner.

I am so sorry about that
water on your husband.

Vivian really...

"Maude" was
recorded on video tape

before a studio audience.

♪ And then there's Maude ♪

♪ And then there's Maude ♪

♪ And then there's Maude ♪

♪ And then there's... ♪