Matlock (1986–1995): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Clown - full transcript
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Nice work, Bradley. Keep it up.
Hey, Stan, you gonna
be talked about tonight?
I'm in the stack.
No!
No. No.
Please...
Hold it. Hold it.
Hey, this bit is too long.
Shorten it, Simon.
Read my lips, Junior,
stick it!
I am warning you, Simon.
Whose picture is on all
those posters out there,
yours or mine?
All right, just look at
the tape then, huh?
See for yourself.
That's not too
much to ask, is it?
I've been doing
that bit for years.
Now, Tomberg says it's too long.
What do you think?
Sorry, I missed it.
The hell you did.
You never miss it.
Don't think I don't
know what you're doing.
That's my cue.
No, go ahead,
watch me, study me.
Memorize my routines.
You'll never headline.
You know why?
You can't mimic talent.
You can't buy it,
you can't steal it,
and you don't have it.
And you're stupid to boot.
Watch this one.
Hey, look, look at this.
Is this funny? Look at this.
Hey.
You got ten minutes.
Hey, Yolanda.
How about tonight,
hmm? Knock it off!
Oh, come on, a little
"Simon Says," hmm?
She's busy.
Who are you, her booking agent?
Let go of her.
Don't drop him now.
See ya later.
That's tasty.
Some day you're gonna drown
in your own slime, you know that?
Whoo!
What's the matter with you?
Your timing was way off.
I know.
Sorry.
Sorry doesn't cut it.
You sound terrible.
I gotta catch my breath.
You're gettin' too
old for this, Homer.
You're blind as a bat.
Half the time, you
miss your marks.
The writing is on the wall.
It's time to find myself
a younger partner.
You couldn't.
You wouldn't.
You can't. We got a contract!
You just broke it.
I broke it? You can't do it!
Null and void.
You can't do this to me!
Wake up, old man!
I just did.
You lousy little
rat! Hey, shut up!
Both of you!
You do this on your own time.
We're opening next week.
You keep rehearsing
until I tell you to stop.
Go on! MAN: Okay, okay.
Go on!
Hey, Junior!
You're half the
man your father was,
and he was a bum.
You're history.
Yeah.
Simon, what's the
matter with you?
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
may we present to you
the lovely, the death defying
Yolanda!
Yolanda, who has vowed
never to work with a net,
who's about to risk her life
just for your entertainment,
ladies and gentlemen.
Simon, it's not funny anymore.
Get out of there, it's over.
Oh, my God.
He's dead.
Okay.
Homer Fleming?
I thought Bob
Brooks was kidding,
but you're a genuine,
bona fide clown.
I have been for 40 years.
Ever since I was a kid.
You're not one of those people
that expects a clown
to be funny all the time,
are you?
Oh, no, no, no.
It's just a job, you know.
Nothing more, nothing less.
We put our pants
on one leg at at time
just like everybody else.
We eat, we sleep.
And we sometimes get
ourselves into very deep trouble.
Hmm.
Did Grayden Sinclair
tell you what happened?
He called me from Florida.
Uh, he thinks you're innocent.
How long has he
been your lawyer?
I don't know. Uh,
ten or 15 years. Oh, oh, oh.
Well, tell me
about your partner.
Well, actually, partner's
not the right word.
You see, Simon was the
one people came to see.
I was just there to, uh, give
him someone to play off of.
Did, uh, did that bother you?
Oh, no.
Simon was a genius.
He had everything.
Talent, timing.
He wrote all our bits.
He was also the most miserable,
hateful, self-centered,
greedy human being
I-I've ever known.
For 23 years, he treated
me like absolute dirt.
Oh.
But I didn't kill him.
You want to know something else?
I miss him like hell.
Are all your
rehearsals videotaped?
That's Al Tomberg's idea.
He's the owner.
Says it's good for us performers
to get what he calls
visual feedback.
Oh, well.
You still rehearse
after all these years?
Always at the start of a tour.
Now, here, watch this.
Ten years we do
the same routine,
all of a sudden he
ad-libs sneezing.
Just like him to
throw me a curve.
What a pain in the neck.
Hey, there. Oh.
Watching movies? Oh, come on in.
Uh, Homer, this is
Conrad McMasters.
We work together. How you doing?
I'm an investigator.
Yeah, Homer's a clown.
Oh, so, what are you doing,
watching a tape of the show?
Uh, rehearsal.
Now-now, here's the part
where I pretend to strangle him.
Now, I've done it exactly the
same way as I've always done it
and so did he. Mmm. Yeah.
So, you pretend to strangle him,
he pretends to be dead,
and you-you put him
in the clownmobile
and then you push the car
in the clownmobile garage,
and that's the end of the act.
The spotlight goes out on
us and comes up on Yolanda.
While everybody's
looking at her,
Simon gets out of the
garage and joins me offstage.
Well, yesterday he never got up.
How long was it before you
realized he wasn't behind you?
Couple of minutes, I guess.
What was the cause of death?
Broken neck.
He was alive when I
let go of him, I swear.
Okay.
Spotlight goes
off, you walk away.
Killer runs into the clown
garage from somewhere nearby,
breaks your partner's neck
and he runs off and hides.
I've got no problem with that.
The whole thing takes
place in less than 40 seconds.
I got a problem with that.
From the time I left the ring
to the time we found the
body, it felt like at least
five minutes.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
36 seconds.
Hey, now, there's
a bright side to this.
I get to join the circus.
Yeah.
That's funny.
Al?
Al?!
Hi.
Hi.
Uh...
You got a snake
around your neck.
What's it to you?
Oh, nothing. It's just that...
Have you seen Al Tomberg?
No, I was just looking...
I have told him ten times Goldie
and Ralph need a new cage.
So, where is it?
Goldie...?
My cobras.
Their cage door hinge is sprung.
I can't lock it.
Anyone could come along
and take off with them.
Who would want to steal a snake?
For your information,
snakes have a bad rap.
They're clean, you
don't have to walk them.
Go ahead, pet Eddie.
Oh, no, no, no.
You pet Eddie. Poor Eddie.
You want a new cage,
don't you, darling, huh?
Maybe...
Maybe-maybe
Mr. Tomberg will get him one.
Oh, he's too cheap.
Rumor is we're
about to shut down.
Because of what
happened to Simon?
That's the word.
Even dead, the
guy's a troublemaker.
If you see Al, tell him
Sheila's looking for him.
Okay.
Hey, hey, Sh-Sheila?
Where is, uh, uh,
Simon's trailer?
Over there.
Right. He's working
on the flip-flop now.
Alley-oop!
One more, come on.
Easy, easy.
Whoa. WOMAN: Whoo!
Uh, excuse me.
Are you, uh, are
you Dodo the Clown?
Yeah, who are you?
Uh, I'm Ben Matlock,
Homer Fleming's lawyer.
Uh, you dropped this back there.
Oh, thanks.
Uh...
it's not your notebook, is it?
It was Simon's.
I saw you coming
out of his trailer.
It's not really a notebook.
It's, uh, more of a ledger.
You were paying him a
thousand dollars a month.
That's what it says.
Huh.
Homer made a list of...
everybody he did not see
when all the people were
lining up for the big finale,
just before he
found Simon's body,
and you were on that
list, Dodo the Clown.
I'm impressed.
A thousand dollars a month.
A lot of money.
What, did he, uh...
did he know something on you?
I mean, was it... gambling?
Did you, uh...?
Sure.
Yeah, I just put my hands
around his neck and gave it
a little twist, and
I walked away.
You're a woman. Hmm.
You're a woman.
Strong, though.
All right, kids, come
on, we have to go now.
Here you go.
Uh, uh, Jim Roper?
Yeah.
Uh, Ben Matlock.
I'm Homer Fleming's lawyer.
Oh. That's nice.
Yeah. A few fans, huh?
Yeah, more than a few, I hope.
You're Homer's lawyer, huh?
Yeah.
How is he, how's he doing?
Oh, he's doing all right.
Poor guy... Nobody
wonders why he did it,
only why he didn't
do it any sooner.
Simon didn't have many friends.
As far as I know,
he didn't have any.
But then I've only
been with the Santini
a couple of months.
Uh, I hear that you didn't like
the way he was
going after, uh, uh...
oh, yeah, Yolanda.
I didn't like him, period.
Did you kill him?
You're out of your mind,
aren't you?
Well, where were you when,
uh, everything happened?
Preparing for my act.
Reason I ask... Homer
doesn't remember
seeing you lined
up for the big finale.
Homer knows I'm
not in the parade.
I go on just before it.
Look, I, uh, I got to get going.
If you have any more
questions, though, you call me.
Okay.
Excuse me there,
sir, watch yourself,
watch your back.
Wouldn't want to get
anything on that spiffy suit.
Hi, Mr. Tomberg.
Oh, Mr. Tomberg,
uh... Ben Matlock, uh,
Homer Fleming's lawyer.
You got a minute?
Sure, come on in.
Oh, thanks.
There we go.
Okay.
Oh...
Does this... does this run?
Oh, would you look at that?
Have a seat.
Thanks.
So what can I do
for you, Mr. Matlock?
Well... you seem to be
in a good humor today.
Why wouldn't I be?
Well, I-I don't know.
Somebody killed
your star performer,
and there's a lot
of bad publicity,
and I heard a rumor that
you're going to have to close.
Well, I have insurance policies
on all my performers,
Mr. Matlock.
Of course, we still
may go belly-up.
Well, you don't seem worried.
That's life.
Yeah, well, I guess so.
Uh, your father
left you this circus?
Yes.
This was Dad's favorite toy.
Not yours?
Do you want the truth?
Yeah.
I hate it.
I hate the crowds,
I hate the noise,
I hate the smell, I
hate the sawdust,
I hate the cotton candy
and those little toys
that bob up and down
on the little sticks.
Simon Le Simple?
He was a miserable creep.
Homer did the world a favor.
Uh, Homer's innocent.
Um, do you happen to remember
where you were, say, uh,
from the time
Simon finished his act
till they found his body
in the clownmobile?
Yes. I was in my usual
seat at rehearsals...
Section four, row D, seat one.
Ask anybody.
Okay.
Thanks. Anytime.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Uh, that girl, uh, she
has the snake around...
Sheila? Yeah.
Uh, she told me that... to
tell you she's looking for you.
She's afraid somebody's going
to steal her cobras.
Steal her cobras.
Yeah.
Not me.
I can't believe you, Al.
You are so cheap! I need things.
I need cages. I need whips.
I'm a professional.
Are we still on for tonight?
No, we're not!
Okay.
You know what I'd do before
I got in a cage with that tiger?
Pray?
I wouldn't get in a
cage with that tiger.
Would you?
No, I would not get
in a cage with a tiger.
What, do you think I'm crazy?
You want to know
if I got anything?
Yeah.
You know that lady that walks
around here wearing a snake?
Sheila.
Yeah, I saw her
arguing with Tomberg.
She wants a new
cage for her cobras.
What?
She's afraid
somebody's going to steal
her cobras.
Oh, yeah, sure.
And listen, I saw
Mr. Tomberg sneak
into his bookkeeping trailer.
Oh. Sneaking, huh?
Yeah.
Did you know that Dodo
the Clown is a woman?
You're kidding.
Is she pretty?
I couldn't tell.
Strong, though.
I felt her arm.
You did not.
You want to keep an eye on her?
All right.
That fella, Roper, too.
The guy with the cannon.
Something...
something about him is...
Ben.
Ben.
Ooh! Ooh!
Take anything.
Anything you want,
okay, it's yours.
Oh, no, no, no.
You're making a mistake.
Do you want money?
You want tickets?
Just take them, okay?
They're yours.
Just-just don't kill me.
I'm not going to kill you.
You-you don't understand.
Freeze! Or you are a dead man!
Holy cow.
Oh, man.
I never thought
I'd get the chance
to use this thing. This
is not what you think it is.
Do you have to do that?
Oh, man, one more
word, and you will not live
to see Georgia State Prison.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Look, look, look, look, look.
I'm just here for the...
the-the time-time cards.
I'm an employee.
- Uh-huh, and I'm Peter Pan.
- Just ask...
Al, I've got to talk
to you. Hey! Hey!
Call security. I
caught a burglar.
I'm not a burglar.
I work here!
Get on the horn,
will you, please?
This thing might go off.
He's telling the truth, Al.
What?
Yeah, he-he said
I'm telling the truth, Al.
He works here.
I've seen him around.
What idiot told you
I keep time cards
in here? Right.
I know. I know.
I made a mistake, and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. It'll never
happen again.
Thank you.
Damn.
They were yelling at each other
at the top of their lungs.
Homer was, uh, blowing a gasket.
Did you witness their, uh...
their act 15 minutes later
when, uh, the defendant
was pretending to
strangle Simon Le Simple?
Yes.
How many times would you say
you've seen them
perform that routine?
Hundreds?
Oh, no, more like thousands.
Did you notice
anything different
about the way they
performed that day?
Oh, yes.
What was that?
Well, there was a much
stronger tone of violence.
It was, uh, uh, more physical.
Much more realistic.
Mm-hmm. Like Homer Fleming
was, in fact, strangling him.
Objection.
Leading. Calls for speculation.
Withdraw the question.
What happened at
the end of the routine?
Homer picked up Simon,
threw him in the back
of the clownmobile, uh,
gave it a shove, walked off,
and the spotlight went off.
Then, what happened? Well,
Simon didn't get out
of the clown garage.
As it turns out, he was dead.
No more questions.
Your witness, Mr. Matlock.
Yep.
Now, Mr. Tomberg, uh,
um...
Ron LeMere,
Gary Etchells,
Connie Peters.
Would you tell us who
those three people are?
Boy, those names
sound familiar, but I, uh...
Those are three accountants
that were hired and fired by you
in the last 18 months.
Objection.
Whether it's three
accounts or a hundred,
I can't see the
relevance to this court.
Uh, Your Honor,
we're going to be talking
about, uh, a motive
and opportunity here,
uh, if the court
will bear with me.
Overruled for now,
without prejudice.
Now, tell us about
those accountants.
I fired them because they
didn't know what they were doing.
Or maybe they caught
on to what you were doing.
And they found out
that you were skimming.
You're out of your mind.
Didn't your father
leave everything
to charity except the circus?
Yes.
And you got the circus,
and you hate the circus.
Let's just say that I am not
the fan that my father was.
Why don't you sell it?
I would if I could.
But you can't.
Because your father
left a provision in the will
prohibiting you from selling it.
Dad hung this circus
around my neck
and made sure that it
would stay there, yes.
So, if it went bankrupt,
you'd finally be rid of it.
Yes, my creditors
would see to that.
That's why you've been
altering your books and skimming.
So that each year, the
circus would show a loss.
That's ridiculous.
The Santini Circus is
a profitable business.
Was, Mr. Tomberg. Was.
Now, you say that you saw
my client kill his partner
during their routine
in your regular
seat in the stands...
Section four, row D,
seat one.
That's right. Wrong.
At the very moment
Simon was being killed,
Sheila Carver,
your snake charmer,
was in section four,
row D, seat one,
looking for you.
You were not there.
Shall I call her to the stand?
Where were you, Mr. Tomberg?
I was altering the books.
The office manager was,
uh, on her lunch break,
and I figured that
no one would, uh,
miss me from the rehearsal.
You were right about
everything, but I did not kill Simon.
You were in your office.
Yes.
Alone?
No. I mean...
I called my broker,
Jim Price, in New York.
You can check with him
or-or the phone company,
and they'll-they'll-they'll tell
you which number I called from.
They'll verify that I was
there. They'll prove it.
I don't like that man.
I let it affect my judgment.
I hate that man,
and I let it get into
my stupid mind.
Any further questions,
Mr. Matlock?
What, sir?
Anything more?
Uh, no.
No further questions.
Birdbrain.
Idiot.
Should I get another lawyer?
No.
Up.
All right, girl.
Come here.
Hey.
It's Conrad, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah.
How you doing? Good.
Good.
Can I buy you a beer?
I mean, it's the least I can do
seeing as you kept ol' Tomberg
from blowing my head off.
Sorry about that. I think,
uh, Al's seen one too many
Dirty Harry movies. Yeah.
Now, I thought your thing
was getting blown
out of a cannon.
It is, but I've been
a circus performer
since I was three years old.
Old Tiny over there,
she's my therapist.
She keeps me
sharp. That's great.
So, what about that tavern
on Route 81? All right.
You give me 20 minutes
to get showered up?
Yeah. Good.
I'll see you there.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
How about this fella here?
You just barely can
make out his face.
Uh, wait a minute.
My eyesight's so poor.
Oh, oh, that's Peter
Mathias, the lighting director.
He's always on the floor
during dress rehearsals.
He's in the old tape, too.
You don't wear
glasses in your act.
If your eyesight's that poor,
how do you do it?
I've done it so long,
I could do it in the dark.
Oh. You know, Ben,
there's nobody
standing outside that ring
that wasn't also standing
there nine months ago.
If the killer was waiting in
the shadows, let's face it,
cameras didn't pick him up.
Boy, I'm so tired.
If I could see, I couldn't
see straight anymore.
Well, go home
and get some sleep.
Maybe tomorrow,
you'll see better.
Okay. Good night.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Uh,
did you know that Dodo the Clown
was paying Simon, uh, a
thousand dollars a month?
Her kid was in a car accident,
and Simon lent her the
money for the hospital bills.
Oh, that was nice.
At 23% interest?
See you in the morning.
Ben, thanks.
Yeah.
Hey, this is Conrad.
I'm not home right now,
but if you leave a message
when you hear the beep,
I'll call you back ASAP.
Uh, it-it's Ben.
Call me as soon as you can.
I think I have a pretty
good idea who killed Simon.
Where are you, anyway?
Hey!
Somebody!
Hey, anybody, help!
Oh...
Oh...
Uh...
You back!
Um...
Uh, uh...
Jambo!
Jambo! Yeah.
Uh, up!
Yeah!
Um, uh...
Yeah.
All right, yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
Jambo.
Jambo. I knew that.
I knew that.
Jambo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Conrad?
What are you doing in there?
Ben, do you...
Look, without making...
without making any sudden moves,
do you think maybe you could...
you know, open the door?
Oh, man, thank you.
Whoo. What happened?
I don't know. I don't know.
I got clobbered over the head.
Next thing I know, I woke up,
thing's looking at me for lunch.
Who'd do a thing like that?
Well, I was in Roper's
trailer looking around.
I thought he was in the shower.
Maybe he wasn't.
No kidding.
Jim Roper? Uh-huh.
Are you all right?
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
I understand when-when, uh,
when it comes to the circus,
you're kind of a
jack-of-all-trades, Mr. Roper.
Yes, sir, that's right.
Have you ever been a clown?
When that's what I had
to be to get paid, yes.
Well, uh, you recognize this?
Yes, I do.
It's a wig.
Yeah, it's a wig.
But, uh, uh, whose wig?
Take a close look.
This has been identified
as the wig that
Simon was wearing
the night he was killed.
Uh, you kind of grew up
in the circus, didn't you?
You performed with your
parents and your sister,
The Daring Davises.
That's right, yeah. Yeah.
I changed my name when
I struck out on my own
when I was 17. Yeah, but
you kept up with your parents.
Of course. Yeah.
Uh, Your Honor, would
it be all right with you
if I take my coat off?
You certainly may.
It's hot in here today.
Everybody get as
comfortable as possible.
Now, two years ago,
the Daring Davises
joined the Santini
Circus, didn't they?
Yes. Yeah.
Uh, well, uh, what
happened to them?
They were fired.
But they were
supposed to be good.
That's right, the best.
Well, why were they fired?
Objection,
Your Honor.
There's no relevance to this.
Your Honor, the court has
been very forgiving with me,
and I beg your indulgence
for a few more questions.
They are relevant.
Last chance, Mr. Matlock.
If it doesn't tie together,
I'll be granting the district
attorney's motion to strike.
Yes, sir.
Now, Simon Le Simple was
chasing after your sister's skirt.
But your sister didn't want to
have anything to do with him.
So to get back at
her, Simon forced
Al Tomberg to fire the
whole family, didn't he?
Yeah.
What circus are they with now?
None, nobody would
hire them after that.
Simon spread rumors
about your father.
Said he was undependable,
didn't show up for performances,
a lot of other
lies, isn't that true?
My father was
convinced of it, yes. Yeah.
What happened to your father?
He died in a car accident
about six months ago.
He ran headlong into a tree.
The police ruled it a
possible suicide, didn't they?
They said he was very
distraught for several months
all because of Simon Le Simple.
When did you join
the Santini?
About three months ago.
But you were a big attraction
at the Colossal
Circus in California.
Why-why change
that for the Santini?
I just felt it was
time for a change.
Oh. Time for a change or...
time for revenge? Objection!
Argumentative.
Mr. Matlock, do you
have any evidence
that would persuade the court
to tolerate this line of
questioning any further?
Indeed I do, Your Honor.
Overruled. Thank you.
Now, Your Honor, what I'm
about to show this witness,
two videotapes.
Ah.
One is of... thank you...
The clown act
that was taken the
night Simon was killed.
The other, is a
tape of the same act
nine months ago.
The one of the left is the
most recent and last rehearsal.
The one on the
right is the old one.
Now, as you can see,
they're practically identical.
Except for... watch.
Right there!
Do you see Simon's hands?
In the old tape,
he threw the torn
up traffic ticket
in Homer's face
with his right hand.
And then the one that was made
at the last rehearsal,
he used his left.
Are you... right-handed
or left-handed? In this business,
it pays to be ambidextrous.
But you sign your autographs
with your left hand, don't you?
Sometimes, yes.
Sometimes, sometimes.
What...
what if the man
wearing that clown outfit
wasn't Simon Le Simple at all?
What if, in fact,
it was the killer?
A man who had
been a clown before,
was left-handed,
had a damn good reason
to want Simon dead?
What if that man was you?
That's ridiculous.
I was right there when
they found him dead
and I sure as hell wasn't
wearing any clown costume.
Yeah.
What if you overheard
that argument
between Simon and Homer, and
saw it as a wonderful opportunity?
What if you followed
Simon to his trailer
where he was making
up for his routine?
What if you waited till
he finished, killed him,
then took his
place in the routine?
And when Homer
pushed that car offstage
into the clownmobile
garage with you in it,
you got out, gathered
up Simon's body
from where you had stashed it
and put it in the clownmobile?
You're wrong. You're wrong.
And while the light
was on Yolanda at
the top of the tent,
you ripped off
your clown outfit.
Underneath was your cannon suit.
You put on the helmet
that covers your face
and got in the cannon.
That's a complete lie.
You don't have
one shred of proof.
But I do.
I do.
Watch this.
Ah!
See that sneeze?
Homer and I talked
about this at great length.
Homer can't see
very well, you know.
And he could never understand
why his partner of 23 years
suddenly ad-libbed
a sneezing fit
into the routine.
Didn't make any sense.
And why would someone
trying to impersonate Simon
give himself away by
changing the routine?
But what... what if the killer
didn't sneeze on purpose?
What if the killer sneezed
because he was allergic to
something he was wearing?
What if the killer was allergic
to this wig?
Oh, it must've been
very difficult for that man.
Trying to impersonate
a famous clown
and do it so perfectly
that even his
partner didn't notice.
And all the time, the man's eyes
were getting itchier, itchier,
itchier and itchier,
beginning to water.
Oh, if only he could
just rub them one time.
Oh, the itching must've
driven that man crazy.
Mr. Roper, your
eyes are getting red.
There's nothing
wrong with my eyes.
And your nose is all stopped up.
This is clean. I'm fine.
Thank you, thank you. I'm fine.
Let's take one more look
at that tape.
Just one more little look.
Doesn't that sound like
an allergic sneeze to you?
Your Honor, I strenuously object
to this line of questioning.
Your Honor... We're
getting nowhere!
Your Honor, just a few
more questions, please?
Your Honor...
I'm afraid I must sustain.
Mr. Matlock, you've been
indulged long enough.
No further questions.
Gotcha.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Nice work, Bradley. Keep it up.
Hey, Stan, you gonna
be talked about tonight?
I'm in the stack.
No!
No. No.
Please...
Hold it. Hold it.
Hey, this bit is too long.
Shorten it, Simon.
Read my lips, Junior,
stick it!
I am warning you, Simon.
Whose picture is on all
those posters out there,
yours or mine?
All right, just look at
the tape then, huh?
See for yourself.
That's not too
much to ask, is it?
I've been doing
that bit for years.
Now, Tomberg says it's too long.
What do you think?
Sorry, I missed it.
The hell you did.
You never miss it.
Don't think I don't
know what you're doing.
That's my cue.
No, go ahead,
watch me, study me.
Memorize my routines.
You'll never headline.
You know why?
You can't mimic talent.
You can't buy it,
you can't steal it,
and you don't have it.
And you're stupid to boot.
Watch this one.
Hey, look, look at this.
Is this funny? Look at this.
Hey.
You got ten minutes.
Hey, Yolanda.
How about tonight,
hmm? Knock it off!
Oh, come on, a little
"Simon Says," hmm?
She's busy.
Who are you, her booking agent?
Let go of her.
Don't drop him now.
See ya later.
That's tasty.
Some day you're gonna drown
in your own slime, you know that?
Whoo!
What's the matter with you?
Your timing was way off.
I know.
Sorry.
Sorry doesn't cut it.
You sound terrible.
I gotta catch my breath.
You're gettin' too
old for this, Homer.
You're blind as a bat.
Half the time, you
miss your marks.
The writing is on the wall.
It's time to find myself
a younger partner.
You couldn't.
You wouldn't.
You can't. We got a contract!
You just broke it.
I broke it? You can't do it!
Null and void.
You can't do this to me!
Wake up, old man!
I just did.
You lousy little
rat! Hey, shut up!
Both of you!
You do this on your own time.
We're opening next week.
You keep rehearsing
until I tell you to stop.
Go on! MAN: Okay, okay.
Go on!
Hey, Junior!
You're half the
man your father was,
and he was a bum.
You're history.
Yeah.
Simon, what's the
matter with you?
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
may we present to you
the lovely, the death defying
Yolanda!
Yolanda, who has vowed
never to work with a net,
who's about to risk her life
just for your entertainment,
ladies and gentlemen.
Simon, it's not funny anymore.
Get out of there, it's over.
Oh, my God.
He's dead.
Okay.
Homer Fleming?
I thought Bob
Brooks was kidding,
but you're a genuine,
bona fide clown.
I have been for 40 years.
Ever since I was a kid.
You're not one of those people
that expects a clown
to be funny all the time,
are you?
Oh, no, no, no.
It's just a job, you know.
Nothing more, nothing less.
We put our pants
on one leg at at time
just like everybody else.
We eat, we sleep.
And we sometimes get
ourselves into very deep trouble.
Hmm.
Did Grayden Sinclair
tell you what happened?
He called me from Florida.
Uh, he thinks you're innocent.
How long has he
been your lawyer?
I don't know. Uh,
ten or 15 years. Oh, oh, oh.
Well, tell me
about your partner.
Well, actually, partner's
not the right word.
You see, Simon was the
one people came to see.
I was just there to, uh, give
him someone to play off of.
Did, uh, did that bother you?
Oh, no.
Simon was a genius.
He had everything.
Talent, timing.
He wrote all our bits.
He was also the most miserable,
hateful, self-centered,
greedy human being
I-I've ever known.
For 23 years, he treated
me like absolute dirt.
Oh.
But I didn't kill him.
You want to know something else?
I miss him like hell.
Are all your
rehearsals videotaped?
That's Al Tomberg's idea.
He's the owner.
Says it's good for us performers
to get what he calls
visual feedback.
Oh, well.
You still rehearse
after all these years?
Always at the start of a tour.
Now, here, watch this.
Ten years we do
the same routine,
all of a sudden he
ad-libs sneezing.
Just like him to
throw me a curve.
What a pain in the neck.
Hey, there. Oh.
Watching movies? Oh, come on in.
Uh, Homer, this is
Conrad McMasters.
We work together. How you doing?
I'm an investigator.
Yeah, Homer's a clown.
Oh, so, what are you doing,
watching a tape of the show?
Uh, rehearsal.
Now-now, here's the part
where I pretend to strangle him.
Now, I've done it exactly the
same way as I've always done it
and so did he. Mmm. Yeah.
So, you pretend to strangle him,
he pretends to be dead,
and you-you put him
in the clownmobile
and then you push the car
in the clownmobile garage,
and that's the end of the act.
The spotlight goes out on
us and comes up on Yolanda.
While everybody's
looking at her,
Simon gets out of the
garage and joins me offstage.
Well, yesterday he never got up.
How long was it before you
realized he wasn't behind you?
Couple of minutes, I guess.
What was the cause of death?
Broken neck.
He was alive when I
let go of him, I swear.
Okay.
Spotlight goes
off, you walk away.
Killer runs into the clown
garage from somewhere nearby,
breaks your partner's neck
and he runs off and hides.
I've got no problem with that.
The whole thing takes
place in less than 40 seconds.
I got a problem with that.
From the time I left the ring
to the time we found the
body, it felt like at least
five minutes.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
36 seconds.
Hey, now, there's
a bright side to this.
I get to join the circus.
Yeah.
That's funny.
Al?
Al?!
Hi.
Hi.
Uh...
You got a snake
around your neck.
What's it to you?
Oh, nothing. It's just that...
Have you seen Al Tomberg?
No, I was just looking...
I have told him ten times Goldie
and Ralph need a new cage.
So, where is it?
Goldie...?
My cobras.
Their cage door hinge is sprung.
I can't lock it.
Anyone could come along
and take off with them.
Who would want to steal a snake?
For your information,
snakes have a bad rap.
They're clean, you
don't have to walk them.
Go ahead, pet Eddie.
Oh, no, no, no.
You pet Eddie. Poor Eddie.
You want a new cage,
don't you, darling, huh?
Maybe...
Maybe-maybe
Mr. Tomberg will get him one.
Oh, he's too cheap.
Rumor is we're
about to shut down.
Because of what
happened to Simon?
That's the word.
Even dead, the
guy's a troublemaker.
If you see Al, tell him
Sheila's looking for him.
Okay.
Hey, hey, Sh-Sheila?
Where is, uh, uh,
Simon's trailer?
Over there.
Right. He's working
on the flip-flop now.
Alley-oop!
One more, come on.
Easy, easy.
Whoa. WOMAN: Whoo!
Uh, excuse me.
Are you, uh, are
you Dodo the Clown?
Yeah, who are you?
Uh, I'm Ben Matlock,
Homer Fleming's lawyer.
Uh, you dropped this back there.
Oh, thanks.
Uh...
it's not your notebook, is it?
It was Simon's.
I saw you coming
out of his trailer.
It's not really a notebook.
It's, uh, more of a ledger.
You were paying him a
thousand dollars a month.
That's what it says.
Huh.
Homer made a list of...
everybody he did not see
when all the people were
lining up for the big finale,
just before he
found Simon's body,
and you were on that
list, Dodo the Clown.
I'm impressed.
A thousand dollars a month.
A lot of money.
What, did he, uh...
did he know something on you?
I mean, was it... gambling?
Did you, uh...?
Sure.
Yeah, I just put my hands
around his neck and gave it
a little twist, and
I walked away.
You're a woman. Hmm.
You're a woman.
Strong, though.
All right, kids, come
on, we have to go now.
Here you go.
Uh, uh, Jim Roper?
Yeah.
Uh, Ben Matlock.
I'm Homer Fleming's lawyer.
Oh. That's nice.
Yeah. A few fans, huh?
Yeah, more than a few, I hope.
You're Homer's lawyer, huh?
Yeah.
How is he, how's he doing?
Oh, he's doing all right.
Poor guy... Nobody
wonders why he did it,
only why he didn't
do it any sooner.
Simon didn't have many friends.
As far as I know,
he didn't have any.
But then I've only
been with the Santini
a couple of months.
Uh, I hear that you didn't like
the way he was
going after, uh, uh...
oh, yeah, Yolanda.
I didn't like him, period.
Did you kill him?
You're out of your mind,
aren't you?
Well, where were you when,
uh, everything happened?
Preparing for my act.
Reason I ask... Homer
doesn't remember
seeing you lined
up for the big finale.
Homer knows I'm
not in the parade.
I go on just before it.
Look, I, uh, I got to get going.
If you have any more
questions, though, you call me.
Okay.
Excuse me there,
sir, watch yourself,
watch your back.
Wouldn't want to get
anything on that spiffy suit.
Hi, Mr. Tomberg.
Oh, Mr. Tomberg,
uh... Ben Matlock, uh,
Homer Fleming's lawyer.
You got a minute?
Sure, come on in.
Oh, thanks.
There we go.
Okay.
Oh...
Does this... does this run?
Oh, would you look at that?
Have a seat.
Thanks.
So what can I do
for you, Mr. Matlock?
Well... you seem to be
in a good humor today.
Why wouldn't I be?
Well, I-I don't know.
Somebody killed
your star performer,
and there's a lot
of bad publicity,
and I heard a rumor that
you're going to have to close.
Well, I have insurance policies
on all my performers,
Mr. Matlock.
Of course, we still
may go belly-up.
Well, you don't seem worried.
That's life.
Yeah, well, I guess so.
Uh, your father
left you this circus?
Yes.
This was Dad's favorite toy.
Not yours?
Do you want the truth?
Yeah.
I hate it.
I hate the crowds,
I hate the noise,
I hate the smell, I
hate the sawdust,
I hate the cotton candy
and those little toys
that bob up and down
on the little sticks.
Simon Le Simple?
He was a miserable creep.
Homer did the world a favor.
Uh, Homer's innocent.
Um, do you happen to remember
where you were, say, uh,
from the time
Simon finished his act
till they found his body
in the clownmobile?
Yes. I was in my usual
seat at rehearsals...
Section four, row D, seat one.
Ask anybody.
Okay.
Thanks. Anytime.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.
Uh, that girl, uh, she
has the snake around...
Sheila? Yeah.
Uh, she told me that... to
tell you she's looking for you.
She's afraid somebody's going
to steal her cobras.
Steal her cobras.
Yeah.
Not me.
I can't believe you, Al.
You are so cheap! I need things.
I need cages. I need whips.
I'm a professional.
Are we still on for tonight?
No, we're not!
Okay.
You know what I'd do before
I got in a cage with that tiger?
Pray?
I wouldn't get in a
cage with that tiger.
Would you?
No, I would not get
in a cage with a tiger.
What, do you think I'm crazy?
You want to know
if I got anything?
Yeah.
You know that lady that walks
around here wearing a snake?
Sheila.
Yeah, I saw her
arguing with Tomberg.
She wants a new
cage for her cobras.
What?
She's afraid
somebody's going to steal
her cobras.
Oh, yeah, sure.
And listen, I saw
Mr. Tomberg sneak
into his bookkeeping trailer.
Oh. Sneaking, huh?
Yeah.
Did you know that Dodo
the Clown is a woman?
You're kidding.
Is she pretty?
I couldn't tell.
Strong, though.
I felt her arm.
You did not.
You want to keep an eye on her?
All right.
That fella, Roper, too.
The guy with the cannon.
Something...
something about him is...
Ben.
Ben.
Ooh! Ooh!
Take anything.
Anything you want,
okay, it's yours.
Oh, no, no, no.
You're making a mistake.
Do you want money?
You want tickets?
Just take them, okay?
They're yours.
Just-just don't kill me.
I'm not going to kill you.
You-you don't understand.
Freeze! Or you are a dead man!
Holy cow.
Oh, man.
I never thought
I'd get the chance
to use this thing. This
is not what you think it is.
Do you have to do that?
Oh, man, one more
word, and you will not live
to see Georgia State Prison.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Look, look, look, look, look.
I'm just here for the...
the-the time-time cards.
I'm an employee.
- Uh-huh, and I'm Peter Pan.
- Just ask...
Al, I've got to talk
to you. Hey! Hey!
Call security. I
caught a burglar.
I'm not a burglar.
I work here!
Get on the horn,
will you, please?
This thing might go off.
He's telling the truth, Al.
What?
Yeah, he-he said
I'm telling the truth, Al.
He works here.
I've seen him around.
What idiot told you
I keep time cards
in here? Right.
I know. I know.
I made a mistake, and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. It'll never
happen again.
Thank you.
Damn.
They were yelling at each other
at the top of their lungs.
Homer was, uh, blowing a gasket.
Did you witness their, uh...
their act 15 minutes later
when, uh, the defendant
was pretending to
strangle Simon Le Simple?
Yes.
How many times would you say
you've seen them
perform that routine?
Hundreds?
Oh, no, more like thousands.
Did you notice
anything different
about the way they
performed that day?
Oh, yes.
What was that?
Well, there was a much
stronger tone of violence.
It was, uh, uh, more physical.
Much more realistic.
Mm-hmm. Like Homer Fleming
was, in fact, strangling him.
Objection.
Leading. Calls for speculation.
Withdraw the question.
What happened at
the end of the routine?
Homer picked up Simon,
threw him in the back
of the clownmobile, uh,
gave it a shove, walked off,
and the spotlight went off.
Then, what happened? Well,
Simon didn't get out
of the clown garage.
As it turns out, he was dead.
No more questions.
Your witness, Mr. Matlock.
Yep.
Now, Mr. Tomberg, uh,
um...
Ron LeMere,
Gary Etchells,
Connie Peters.
Would you tell us who
those three people are?
Boy, those names
sound familiar, but I, uh...
Those are three accountants
that were hired and fired by you
in the last 18 months.
Objection.
Whether it's three
accounts or a hundred,
I can't see the
relevance to this court.
Uh, Your Honor,
we're going to be talking
about, uh, a motive
and opportunity here,
uh, if the court
will bear with me.
Overruled for now,
without prejudice.
Now, tell us about
those accountants.
I fired them because they
didn't know what they were doing.
Or maybe they caught
on to what you were doing.
And they found out
that you were skimming.
You're out of your mind.
Didn't your father
leave everything
to charity except the circus?
Yes.
And you got the circus,
and you hate the circus.
Let's just say that I am not
the fan that my father was.
Why don't you sell it?
I would if I could.
But you can't.
Because your father
left a provision in the will
prohibiting you from selling it.
Dad hung this circus
around my neck
and made sure that it
would stay there, yes.
So, if it went bankrupt,
you'd finally be rid of it.
Yes, my creditors
would see to that.
That's why you've been
altering your books and skimming.
So that each year, the
circus would show a loss.
That's ridiculous.
The Santini Circus is
a profitable business.
Was, Mr. Tomberg. Was.
Now, you say that you saw
my client kill his partner
during their routine
in your regular
seat in the stands...
Section four, row D,
seat one.
That's right. Wrong.
At the very moment
Simon was being killed,
Sheila Carver,
your snake charmer,
was in section four,
row D, seat one,
looking for you.
You were not there.
Shall I call her to the stand?
Where were you, Mr. Tomberg?
I was altering the books.
The office manager was,
uh, on her lunch break,
and I figured that
no one would, uh,
miss me from the rehearsal.
You were right about
everything, but I did not kill Simon.
You were in your office.
Yes.
Alone?
No. I mean...
I called my broker,
Jim Price, in New York.
You can check with him
or-or the phone company,
and they'll-they'll-they'll tell
you which number I called from.
They'll verify that I was
there. They'll prove it.
I don't like that man.
I let it affect my judgment.
I hate that man,
and I let it get into
my stupid mind.
Any further questions,
Mr. Matlock?
What, sir?
Anything more?
Uh, no.
No further questions.
Birdbrain.
Idiot.
Should I get another lawyer?
No.
Up.
All right, girl.
Come here.
Hey.
It's Conrad, isn't it?
Yeah. Yeah.
How you doing? Good.
Good.
Can I buy you a beer?
I mean, it's the least I can do
seeing as you kept ol' Tomberg
from blowing my head off.
Sorry about that. I think,
uh, Al's seen one too many
Dirty Harry movies. Yeah.
Now, I thought your thing
was getting blown
out of a cannon.
It is, but I've been
a circus performer
since I was three years old.
Old Tiny over there,
she's my therapist.
She keeps me
sharp. That's great.
So, what about that tavern
on Route 81? All right.
You give me 20 minutes
to get showered up?
Yeah. Good.
I'll see you there.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
How about this fella here?
You just barely can
make out his face.
Uh, wait a minute.
My eyesight's so poor.
Oh, oh, that's Peter
Mathias, the lighting director.
He's always on the floor
during dress rehearsals.
He's in the old tape, too.
You don't wear
glasses in your act.
If your eyesight's that poor,
how do you do it?
I've done it so long,
I could do it in the dark.
Oh. You know, Ben,
there's nobody
standing outside that ring
that wasn't also standing
there nine months ago.
If the killer was waiting in
the shadows, let's face it,
cameras didn't pick him up.
Boy, I'm so tired.
If I could see, I couldn't
see straight anymore.
Well, go home
and get some sleep.
Maybe tomorrow,
you'll see better.
Okay. Good night.
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Uh,
did you know that Dodo the Clown
was paying Simon, uh, a
thousand dollars a month?
Her kid was in a car accident,
and Simon lent her the
money for the hospital bills.
Oh, that was nice.
At 23% interest?
See you in the morning.
Ben, thanks.
Yeah.
Hey, this is Conrad.
I'm not home right now,
but if you leave a message
when you hear the beep,
I'll call you back ASAP.
Uh, it-it's Ben.
Call me as soon as you can.
I think I have a pretty
good idea who killed Simon.
Where are you, anyway?
Hey!
Somebody!
Hey, anybody, help!
Oh...
Oh...
Uh...
You back!
Um...
Uh, uh...
Jambo!
Jambo! Yeah.
Uh, up!
Yeah!
Um, uh...
Yeah.
All right, yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
Jambo.
Jambo. I knew that.
I knew that.
Jambo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Conrad?
What are you doing in there?
Ben, do you...
Look, without making...
without making any sudden moves,
do you think maybe you could...
you know, open the door?
Oh, man, thank you.
Whoo. What happened?
I don't know. I don't know.
I got clobbered over the head.
Next thing I know, I woke up,
thing's looking at me for lunch.
Who'd do a thing like that?
Well, I was in Roper's
trailer looking around.
I thought he was in the shower.
Maybe he wasn't.
No kidding.
Jim Roper? Uh-huh.
Are you all right?
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
I understand when-when, uh,
when it comes to the circus,
you're kind of a
jack-of-all-trades, Mr. Roper.
Yes, sir, that's right.
Have you ever been a clown?
When that's what I had
to be to get paid, yes.
Well, uh, you recognize this?
Yes, I do.
It's a wig.
Yeah, it's a wig.
But, uh, uh, whose wig?
Take a close look.
This has been identified
as the wig that
Simon was wearing
the night he was killed.
Uh, you kind of grew up
in the circus, didn't you?
You performed with your
parents and your sister,
The Daring Davises.
That's right, yeah. Yeah.
I changed my name when
I struck out on my own
when I was 17. Yeah, but
you kept up with your parents.
Of course. Yeah.
Uh, Your Honor, would
it be all right with you
if I take my coat off?
You certainly may.
It's hot in here today.
Everybody get as
comfortable as possible.
Now, two years ago,
the Daring Davises
joined the Santini
Circus, didn't they?
Yes. Yeah.
Uh, well, uh, what
happened to them?
They were fired.
But they were
supposed to be good.
That's right, the best.
Well, why were they fired?
Objection,
Your Honor.
There's no relevance to this.
Your Honor, the court has
been very forgiving with me,
and I beg your indulgence
for a few more questions.
They are relevant.
Last chance, Mr. Matlock.
If it doesn't tie together,
I'll be granting the district
attorney's motion to strike.
Yes, sir.
Now, Simon Le Simple was
chasing after your sister's skirt.
But your sister didn't want to
have anything to do with him.
So to get back at
her, Simon forced
Al Tomberg to fire the
whole family, didn't he?
Yeah.
What circus are they with now?
None, nobody would
hire them after that.
Simon spread rumors
about your father.
Said he was undependable,
didn't show up for performances,
a lot of other
lies, isn't that true?
My father was
convinced of it, yes. Yeah.
What happened to your father?
He died in a car accident
about six months ago.
He ran headlong into a tree.
The police ruled it a
possible suicide, didn't they?
They said he was very
distraught for several months
all because of Simon Le Simple.
When did you join
the Santini?
About three months ago.
But you were a big attraction
at the Colossal
Circus in California.
Why-why change
that for the Santini?
I just felt it was
time for a change.
Oh. Time for a change or...
time for revenge? Objection!
Argumentative.
Mr. Matlock, do you
have any evidence
that would persuade the court
to tolerate this line of
questioning any further?
Indeed I do, Your Honor.
Overruled. Thank you.
Now, Your Honor, what I'm
about to show this witness,
two videotapes.
Ah.
One is of... thank you...
The clown act
that was taken the
night Simon was killed.
The other, is a
tape of the same act
nine months ago.
The one of the left is the
most recent and last rehearsal.
The one on the
right is the old one.
Now, as you can see,
they're practically identical.
Except for... watch.
Right there!
Do you see Simon's hands?
In the old tape,
he threw the torn
up traffic ticket
in Homer's face
with his right hand.
And then the one that was made
at the last rehearsal,
he used his left.
Are you... right-handed
or left-handed? In this business,
it pays to be ambidextrous.
But you sign your autographs
with your left hand, don't you?
Sometimes, yes.
Sometimes, sometimes.
What...
what if the man
wearing that clown outfit
wasn't Simon Le Simple at all?
What if, in fact,
it was the killer?
A man who had
been a clown before,
was left-handed,
had a damn good reason
to want Simon dead?
What if that man was you?
That's ridiculous.
I was right there when
they found him dead
and I sure as hell wasn't
wearing any clown costume.
Yeah.
What if you overheard
that argument
between Simon and Homer, and
saw it as a wonderful opportunity?
What if you followed
Simon to his trailer
where he was making
up for his routine?
What if you waited till
he finished, killed him,
then took his
place in the routine?
And when Homer
pushed that car offstage
into the clownmobile
garage with you in it,
you got out, gathered
up Simon's body
from where you had stashed it
and put it in the clownmobile?
You're wrong. You're wrong.
And while the light
was on Yolanda at
the top of the tent,
you ripped off
your clown outfit.
Underneath was your cannon suit.
You put on the helmet
that covers your face
and got in the cannon.
That's a complete lie.
You don't have
one shred of proof.
But I do.
I do.
Watch this.
Ah!
See that sneeze?
Homer and I talked
about this at great length.
Homer can't see
very well, you know.
And he could never understand
why his partner of 23 years
suddenly ad-libbed
a sneezing fit
into the routine.
Didn't make any sense.
And why would someone
trying to impersonate Simon
give himself away by
changing the routine?
But what... what if the killer
didn't sneeze on purpose?
What if the killer sneezed
because he was allergic to
something he was wearing?
What if the killer was allergic
to this wig?
Oh, it must've been
very difficult for that man.
Trying to impersonate
a famous clown
and do it so perfectly
that even his
partner didn't notice.
And all the time, the man's eyes
were getting itchier, itchier,
itchier and itchier,
beginning to water.
Oh, if only he could
just rub them one time.
Oh, the itching must've
driven that man crazy.
Mr. Roper, your
eyes are getting red.
There's nothing
wrong with my eyes.
And your nose is all stopped up.
This is clean. I'm fine.
Thank you, thank you. I'm fine.
Let's take one more look
at that tape.
Just one more little look.
Doesn't that sound like
an allergic sneeze to you?
Your Honor, I strenuously object
to this line of questioning.
Your Honor... We're
getting nowhere!
Your Honor, just a few
more questions, please?
Your Honor...
I'm afraid I must sustain.
Mr. Matlock, you've been
indulged long enough.
No further questions.
Gotcha.