Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 3, Episode 10 - Through a Glass, Darkly - full transcript

Previously on
"Masters of Sex"...

I just got back
from the doctor.

I'm pregnant.

What do you want?

You.

You strike me as someone

who might like classical music.

In my experience,
one classical music lover

- can often tell another.
- Mm.

I am compelled by the lord

to remind you of the damnation
that awaits you, Dr. Ma--



You will feel
the pain of damnation firsthand

if you ever
come into this building again.

This is Nora Everett.

Uh, you're here
for the surrogacy program?

And you think because my parents

were stuffy episcopalians,

I must have turned out
that way, too?

You have got
to be kidding me.

If you can be a surrogate,

I don't see any reason
why I can't, too.

Nora, you sensed both
his vulnerabilities

and areas of personal interest.

You're on track
for an A-plus in this course.

The surrogates themselves
are unknowns and unpredictable.



It's why we train them.

Train them yourself.

I'm busy with
our other research.

What other research?

The research
that I'm interested in.

Is there any
particular reason

you're insisting he stay here?

I have found something
in his work

that adds value to our work.

Dan Logan's study
has reached a dead end.

Time for Dan Logan
to go back to New York.

Mrs. Johnson
is an impressive woman,

though it wouldn't surprise me

if Masters was smitten with her.

He's more than smitten.

I know for a fact
he's sleeping with her.

I'm sorry.
I think my work here is done.

Virginia.

Virginia!

Virginia!

What are you doing?

You've got to pull yourself
together.

If you can't control yourself,

how are you
gonna get control of her?

You know what to do.

Flatter her.

Draw her in.

Make her feel
like you're on her side.

You set the trap,
and she'll walk right into it.

She always does.

18 holes again?

Nine.

I want to give myself
plenty of time this afternoon

for some sightseeing.

Sightseeing?
In St. Louis?

You may not realize this,

but St. Louis
is rapidly becoming

Paris on the Mississippi.

Well,
you've got the climatron

at the botanical garden.

175-foot geodesic dome,

re-creating the climate
of a lowland rainforest.

Wow.

Well, so happy that you're
enjoying your time as a tourist,

but starting tomorrow, I need
you back in your business suits.

We are beginning the next phase
of scent research.

We don't have another round
of scent research.

No. We do.

We are beginning to test scented
lotions in sensate therapy.

Otherwise,
if he sees us together...

I just don't understand

why we have to be constantly
tiptoeing around Bill Masters,

making up fake
scent experiments,

parking a block away
from the office...

In two weeks, Bill and
I are going into Little Brown

to present the initial research
for our second book.

Now, if he finds out about us,

he might even keep me
out of the work,

which he's done before.

He's a child.
You realize that, right?

Constantly threatening
to take his toys and go home

if he doesn't get what he wants.

It's a little bit
more complicated than that.

He needs me.
Or, he depends on me.

Just let me get through
the next two weeks, please.

Once Little Brown signs off
on the book, then...

Then what?

Then...I will reassess.

If that's what you need.

Thank you.

God did not create marriage
as a vehicle of our lust --

Mr. and Mrs. Carson,

you're due upstairs with us,
aren't you?

I'm sure you've had enough
chatting with Mr. Sturgis here.

- Now, why don't you go on ahead?
- Goodbye.

The chief of police is
on our board of directors.

I could call him in an instant
and have you arrested.

I'm just here waiting
for my typewriter to be fixed.

Just leave my patients alone.

I feel sorry for you,
Mrs. Johnson.

Dr. Masters has brainwashed you.

He's warped your mind, and as
a result, you've lost your way.

You are not the woman
you once were.

And because you know me so well,

you are certainly qualified
to make that assessment.

I hope they fix your typewriter.

God knows what
that man has done to you,

what you've become --

tarnished, confused, a life
removed from all that is good.

God knows this because
God sees you, Mrs. Johnson.

Oh.

I didn't hear you come in.

Am I interrupting?

In fact, I was just --

I wanted to talk to you --

I'm -- I'm sorry.

No, I interrupted you. Please.

I've been giving
a lot of thought

to your reservations
about the surrogacy program.

I know
that I have been insistent

in my objections...

You've raised
some valid concerns.

And now I worry that I may have
dismissed those concerns

without giving them
the attention they deserved.

Really?

Frankly, uh...

...the results have not been
what I hoped.

At this point, I'm ready to,
you know, look into all options,

including
discontinuing it completely.

But from the very beginning,

what has worked for us

is to have both a male
and a female point of view.

So what I really need is
your perspective...

and your honest evaluation.

But you can only offer that
if you participate.

All right.

That seems only fair,

that we should
evaluate the work together

before abandoning
an entire area of research.

Well, t-that was my thought.

We should also begin

preparing our presentation
for Little Brown.

I agree with that, as well.

Uh, Lester is actually, uh,
beginning a session right now.

Would you like to observe
with me?

Absolutely.

Now, Lois,

I'm going to very slowly --
very slowly -- touch your...

vagina.

I'm -- I'm -- I'm --
I'm sorry, but that word...

Is there another word
you'd prefer we use?

Kitty?

Has there been any
improvement in the dyspareunia?

Limited.

She did have some increase
in vaginal lubrication

during the sensate therapy.

But intercourse is
still painful?

During manual manipulation, yes.

We'll take it very slowly.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.
Oh.

You have a scar...
on your forehead.

How did it, um...

how did you get it?

W-we should stay focused
on you, okay?

But how did you get
that scar?

Um, I had an unfortunate
mishap with a compass

in high-school geometry.

But what kind of a mishap?

Um, I accidentally
stabbed myself in the head.

Should we --

Did we go
to the same high school?

I -- I don't think
that's pertinent.

But I -- I don't know
anything about you.

You know plenty about me.

Remember our dinner?

We -- we talked about how
I'm allergic to walnuts,

and you're allergic
to cat dander.

Maybe if we could spend
more time together

outside of the lab...

It's my nephew's bar mitzvah
on Saturday.

- Why don't you come with me?
- Hmm.

My parents will be there,
and my nephew, Gene.

He's worked so hard
on his Torah portion.

He has the voice of an angel.

I actually have
another bar mitzvah to go to,

unfortunately.

It's my, um -- my grandmother's.

We'll stop there for now.

Well, obviously,
something is not working,

aside from Lester's complete
ignorance of world religions.

I was raised around catholics.

And as far as following the
therapeutic text with Lois --

You think there's
a problem with the text?

I wasn't
even aware there was a text.

It's not the first time
I've been asked about my scar

or where I'm from or how soon
I can meet their parents.

I was reading an article
just last week

about finches in the Galapagos,

and it turns out
the way females pick their mate

is by finding the male
who's built the best nest.

Sorry.
How is this pertinent?

Because women are
hardwired to want a provider,

someone who will take care
of them, raise their babies,

bring home the bacon --
or, grubs, I suppose.

And I'm not trying to put myself
out of a job here,

but the women who are coming in

aren't looking for someone
to fix their dysfunction.

- They're looking for a mate.
- No.

No, you can't extrapolate from
the mating behaviors of finches

to make wild generalizations
about women and sex.

Tell that to Darwin.

No, our research has
shown from the very beginning

that women are just as capable
as men are

in seeing sex
in purely physical terms.

Would you excuse us,
please, Lester?

Please don't tell me
that you agree with him.

You are
absolutely right, Virginia.

This is why I need you involved
in this work.

The problem isn't the women.
The problem is the protocol.

The lack of a protocol
for male surrogates to use

- in addressing dyspareunia.
- Exactly.

Lester isn't succeeding

because I didn't give him
the proper road map.

And quickly.

We need to observe
more cases, compile more data...

Or we could solve
the problem ourselves,

see what it is that's going wrong.

That's the way we've developed
every other procedure.

Together,
testing it on ourselves.

Why -- why wouldn't we do
the same thing now?

Because now we're --
we're focusing on the book,

the pitch to Little Brown.

But we've always put
our patients first,

especially the ones in distress
like Miss Weiland.

Yeah.

Yes.
You're right.

I suppose we could.

Mind if I join you?

I'll do you one better, you can
have the whole shower to yourself.

I'm on my way out.

Are you sure?

Um...

Oh, I have a meeting.
I got to get back.

Mm.

Well, I paid the babysitter for the whole
afternoon, how long is your meeting?

Uh, well, it'll take me
all the way up till practice.

It's an all-faculty meeting,
so...

I guess I'll go relieve
the babysitter, then.

Well, no.
You should take advantage.

You got the afternoon off
with no kids.

You should treat yourself
to lunch or something.

There's that new sandwich shop
on Davenport.

And you know what --
if you're gonna be downtown,

would you mind running
a couple errands for me?

Errands?

Yeah, I've had no time.

I've been jammed up
with meetings all week, so...

Errands.

Uh, yeah. Uh, some
groceries for the house.

Um, I have a pair of slacks
at the dry-cleaner

I need picked up.

And, uh...

my watch broke.
I have to get that fixed.

There's that repair shop.

- On Davenport.
- Right.

Right by the the sandwich place.
That works out.

I'll just leave everything
by the door, okay?

Thank you, Lib.
You're a lifesaver.

Biparietal measurements
for Cynthia McAffrey.

Hard to believe you can get all these numbers

just by looking at all those
dots and lines on the screen.

Well, sometimes it looks like

we're searching for proof
of the Loch Ness monster.

Our next appointment is
in half an hour.

29 weeks and twins.

Say, Dr. Scully,

you don't, by chance,
have plans tonight, do you?

I have an extra ticket
to see "Parsifal."

My friend cancelled
at the last minute, so...

Oh, I -- I don't know...

Tonight's the last performance.

I'm speaking on a panel
on Saturday,

and I haven't even begun
to draft my remarks.

Well, you can do that tomorrow.

You're not gonna take
"no" for an answer, are you?

Don't we need
to get to your dad's?

That's the great thing

about having parents
that aren't on time to anything.

They can't get mad at you
for being late.

So, uh...these "surrogates,"

they seem like normal people?

Completely.

If you saw them on the street,
you wouldn't even know.

This one girl,
she's always there,

and she says she doesn't even think
about it when she's doing it.

He'll be on top of her, and
she'll be making a grocery list.

Wait. Don't tell me --
bananas, bananas, bananas.

Cucumbers,
cucumbers, cucumbers...

You want to try it?

What?

"Making a grocery list"?

My mom will be home soon.

Maybe we can just make out
a little bit?

A little bit.

Virginia, your door's unlocked.

- W-what are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?

What are you doing
in my mom's house?

We have a work matter
to discuss.

At night? At her house?

What kind of work?

- Let's go.
H-hold on.

Hold on until your mother gets
here to discuss this with you.

I'll see you at school tomorrow.

That's fine.

It's fine?

It feels good.

Why don't we proceed
to the actual technique now?

You're sufficiently aroused?

I am.

All right.
Um...

Well, you're gonna feel my hand
on your pubis.

And...

you're gonna feel my finger
beginning to penetrate...

I think I understand
what went wrong with Lois.

When I open my eyes,

I'm suddenly aware
of the other person --

his needs, his desires.

His scars.

So you think eye contact
is a problem?

Yes.

What if you kept your eyes shut?

I think for a woman to be
able to focus on healing herself,

she needs to be completely free
of the man's expectations.

What if you had your arms
behind me?

How would I do that?

Um...

Oh. Why don't you sit here,
in back?

Yes, and then...

that way, you can...

you can reach your hand...
like this.

So, that's good.
That's better.

More natural.

What if we gave her
the sense of control?

What if -- what if we let her
guide his hand?

Allow her to show him
what feels good?

Like this?

Yes.

This is the way
it should be done.

Yes, it is.
You're right.

Yes.

There's no telling
when she'll be home.

Her evenings are busy.

Why don't you go get us all
a soda?

I'm not thirsty.

Soda sounds good.

What were you thinking?

But -- never mind.
I know what you were thinking.

But do you know what you should
have been thinking about? Hmm?

Her and her feelings -- and not
just her feelings in the moment.

Her feelings tomorrow
and the day after that.

You want to be a man --
want to be a real man?

Yes, sir.

Well, this is where it starts.

You understand me?

Yes, sir.

Ah. Virginia.

Where have you been?
We had our meeting.

Stuck at the office.

Virginia, this is Matt.

Matt, this is Tessa's mother,
Mrs. Johnson.

Are you gonna call my parents?

I haven't decided yet.

Well, how long have you two
been seeing each other?

- A while.
- Weeks? Days?

Maybe five months?

You were never around.
When was I going to tell you?

There have been plenty
of times in the past five months

that you could have
said something.

How many meals
have we had together?

Seven.

How many rides to school?

- Three.
- That is unfair,

and it's not even true.

The point is,
you chose not to tell me.

You snuck around,
lied by omission.

- You two have been having sex?
- No!

How could you keep such a
huge part of your life hidden from me?

You don't tell me
about your life,

I don't tell you about mine.

'Cause I am an adult.
You are a child.

That is a joke.

This is my fault, Mrs. Johnson.

I -- I may have been unclear,

in terms of my intentions
with Tessa.

I understand that
you're trying to help here, Matt,

- but what you're saying is --
What I'm saying is,

I have never felt about
another girl

the way that I feel about Tessa.

I should have been honest
with her and with you

and said that I -- I don't
just like her, but...

...I -- I love her.

Well...

Tessa,
you and I will talk later.

And as for the two of you...

...if you are going to continue
to see one another,

then at the very least,
I want you to be safe.

Now, lucky for you,

this happens to be a subject
that I know quite a bit about.

Oh, hi.
Uh, thanks for helping me out.

Did you, uh, remember to pick up
the dry-cleaning, or...?

Actually,
I left it in the car.

Maybe you could go get it
yourself.

That sounded like Jenny.

Surprise, mom.

We wanted to surprise you.

We've been practicing
all afternoon.

That's why I had you
run all those errands...

- Come on, Howie.
- ...Was to keep you busy

so we could surprise you
on your birthday,

which I realize
is not till tomorrow,

but I figured you wouldn't mind
celebrating a little early.

- Right, kids?
- Right.

Okay, so, let the show begin.

Come on. Let's go.

Right this way.

There once was
a princess named Libby

who lived high up in a tower.

Every day, she would stand
at the window of her tower

and brush her hair,
and she would say...

"Oh, how lonely this tower is.

I wish there was someone
to play with."

One day,
a boy rode by on a horse.

The princess called down to him.

Boy on a horse!

But the boy couldn't.

There were no stairs
up to the top of the tower.

Tessa?
You awake?

It wasn't my intention
to embarrass you.

We should be able
to talk about these things.

And sex is something
to be taken very seriously.

It's the most intimate thing
that two people can do together.

And I know that Matt is saying
that he loves you, but...

before you do anything else,

just -- just make sure
that you feel the same way.

Giving that part of yourself
to another person...

it's as close to a sacred act
as there is.

So take your time.

Please.

Know your heart.
Make sure that he deserves you.

You know,
when I invited you,

I didn't think about the irony
of a doctor watching "Parsifal."

An opera about a king
with a festering wound.

I was tempted to climb on stage
and hand him a prescription.

Yes,
the cut from a mad king's spear.

What would you have offered?

Antibiotics, for starters...

Of course.

Jonathan!

We thought
we might find you here.

We saw you at the opera,

and since there's only
one decent bar downtown

- that's open after 10:00...
- Ugh.

Cal, Arnold, uh, this is, um...

Well, my boss, I suppose --
Dr. Barton Scully.

Hello.

Hi.

Arnold works as
an aide at St. Luke's.

Oh.

And I'm just the boyfriend.

Can we join you?

Or are you two...?

Oh, not at all.

No, no.

No, please, uh, join us.

So, I think it's wonderful --

I'll, uh --
I'll refresh our drinks.

- Thank you.
- How've you been?

Good!
It's so good to see you!

Two Martinis.

He looks better in heels
than she does!

Why don't you queers
keep it down?

We're not bothering anyone.

You're bothering me.

Hey,
leave the pretty girls alone.

We're just trying
to enjoy our drinks.

Bartender, can we get
another round of pink ladies?

- It's on us, I promise.
- Ignore them.

How about you faggots enjoy
your drinks somewhere else?

Yeah,
if you know what's good for you.

- Excuse me?
- You heard me.

- Yeah, I did hear you.
- Well, let's go, fags.

- Back off.
- No, let's go.

Why don't you say it again?

Don't you dare touch me!
Get off me!

I'm surprised
you're up so early.

You were tossing and turning
all night.

I'm having dreams...
about my father.

Your father?

I haven't dreamt about him
for 15 years.

And now, the last few weeks...

Oh, God.
I'm sorry.

Here I am talking about --
well, nothing, really...

Is this for me?

Of course it's for you.
Happy birthday.

Coffee?

Please.

I've been thinking
about everything you do --

you know,
for the children, for me...

and, uh...

I wanted to get you
something special,

something to really
mark the occasion.

Go ahead.
Open it.

I should have birthdays
more often.

What is this?
An itinerary?

"Hello, Dolly"
at the Shubert Theatre,

the Chicago opera -- "Tartuffe."

Well, you've always said
you wanted to visit Chicago.

This is very thoughtful
of you, Bill.

I can't remember the last time
we ran off, just the two of us.

Well,
this is a -- a trip for you.

Me?

Alone, you mean...

A well-earned break from...

well, from all of us.
Don't worry about the children.

Between school
and babysitters...

you're not happy.

I don't understand

how you could think that I would
want to do these things alone.

I was remembering the last time
we went away,

just the two of us, and you...

well, you sent me home.

And, no, you were right.
You were right.

I was ruining your vacation/

I don't -- I don't blame you.

So, this time I thought maybe,
you know...

you'd be able to enjoy it more
without me.

Was I wrong?

Hold the doors, please!

It didn't have to happen.

You and I were having
a perfectly nice evening

before your fancy friends
showed up.

"My fancy friends"
are homosexuals, just like you.

I'm nothing like them.

I -- I'm not saying

that I don't enjoy the
companionship of other men.

As long as
it doesn't offend anyone.

Your friends last night,

men like that make it harder
for all of us.

They've got to put on a show
with their voices,

the way they move,
giggling like a bunch of girls.

You know, why can't we present
ourselves to the world as men,

like any other men?

Show that we're strong?

Do you think that
that's the first time

they've been kicked out of a bar
by angry drunks?

Beaten in the streets?

They've had to claw and scrape

for every shred of dignity
that they have.

And it's men like you,

cowering behind closed doors
in your business suits --

you're the weak ones.

I'll finish out the day.
After that, I'll be gone.

Dan, you're here early.

I didn't think we were starting
the scent tests until 10:00.

Well, yes,
there was something

I wanted to discuss with you
first --

a problem
with one of our volunteers.

It's a bit delicate.

How'd it go last night?

Not well at all.

Tessa's furious with me.

I tried to speak with her
after Matt had left,

but she pretended to be asleep.

What is he doing here now?

Something to do
with fragrances in lotions

to help with the sensate.

Well,
it shouldn't take precedence

over our session with Lester...

which is starting right now.

How is it possible

that I'm in trouble with her
for something that she did?

Because she knows
why I was there.

She's too smart not to.

I think you're
giving her too much credit.

And she's also angry

because she knows
I'm not the only one.

And what is that
supposed to mean?

She knows about Bill.

Dan, I have told you a
million times that Bill and I --

Stop it.
Just stop it, Virginia.

Do we have to keep doing this?

It was Tessa who first told me
you were sleeping with him.

I thought you'd want to know,

the doc's waiting for you
in the exam room.

I have -- I have to...

So, you will be seated

with your back
against the headboard.

She will sit
between your legs,

with her back reclined
against your chest.

She will use her hand
to direct your hand

to the areas
that she would like stimulated.

She will further
use her hand to communicate

when she would like
a change of pressure

or directional movement...

And once
she's sufficiently lubricated --

I can't do it.

- Which part?
- Any of this.

I only signed up to be a
surrogate to make Jane jealous.

And it worked.
She won't even speak to me.

And for what?

All these women
either want to marry me

or they look at me
like I'm some sort of torturer.

I'm scared to death
that I won't get an erection,

and they'll feel terrible
about themselves,

or I will get one,
and Jane will hear about it,

and I'll be sleeping in the office
again -- which is murder on my back!

Damn it, Bill, this is
what I've been saying all along.

This program doesn't work!

Uh, we'll, uh,
cancel...uh today's session.

Virginia and I will talk to Lois

and, uh...decide on
our next course of action.

Oh, thank God.

Lester was never the
ideal candidate for surrogacy --

We are attempting
to conduct an experiment

with an infinite number
of variables

and without any controls.

It's chaos, Bill.

Last night,
we came up with a technique

that actually could help
thousands of couples.

I agree, and that is
far more important --

So now you're just
trying to placate me.

You mean more to me

than any research program,
Virginia.

Look, if -- if you're not comfortable
with the surrogacy work,

then...we can't continue.

We'll finish the few
surrogacy cases we have,

and then we'll phase
the program out entirely.

I just want it to be us again...

together.

That's what I want, too.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Is your mom here?

She won't be back for hours.

We should get a beer.

The party doesn't start
till 9:00, anyway.

Her boyfriend isn't here,
either, right?

Which one?

Table for two.

Uh, yes, this evening.

Uh, you still have that filet
mignon on the menu, I hope?

Um, it's Dr. Bill Masters.

Oh, very good.
Uh, thank you.

Thank you.
I -- I appreciate it.

Excuse me. Bill?
Do you have a minute?

Uh...of course.

I keep going over
my session yesterday.

You told me to establish clear
and direct communication

with the subject, which I did --
I'm always good at that part --

but I still wasn't able
to postpone ejaculation.

I'm just not sure what
I could have done differently.

Uh, well, Nora, uh,
we've discussed this.

It's not all dependent on you.

He failed to communicate
how close he was to orgasm...

Sure,
but when I pulled him out of me,

I pressed right here...

right below
the head of the penis,

just like you told me to.

Is that the right amount
of pressure?

Should I have squeezed harder?

Uh -- uh, the firmness
of the, uh, pressure

should be proportionate
to the, uh, degree of erection.

And then I did
as you instructed

and moved it front to back...

using only the pads
of my fingers and thumb.

Uh, you could possibly
apply the pressure

a little, uh,
higher up on -- on the penis.

Like here?

Yes.
That's right.

Uh, that's fine. Uh.

Thank you.

Uh, there's a --
a stack of client files

in the conference room --

You want me to go through them,
make notes, just like the last time?

Yes. Thank you.

Your ultrasound technician,
Jonathan, handed me his notice.

It's a shame to lose him.

It wasn't the right fit.

Oh. I'm, uh --
I'm surprised to hear that.

I thought you two
had a real nice rapport.

We'll need to start
someone new right away.

I'll, uh, I'll call around
in the morning,

start asking for referrals.

Speaking of referrals,
uh, a friend of mine,

she just found out
she's got a bun in the oven,

and she's on the market
for an O.B.

Mm.
Well, if she and her husband

want to set up an appointment...

Uh, that's the thing.

Um...husband isn't in the
picture, and I'm sure you know

a lot of doctors won't so much
as take a lady's temperature

if she doesn't have a ring
on her finger.

Well, you can tell your friend

that I'm very comfortable
treating a single mother.

Um...
that's the other thing.

She's not single.

I -- I don't think I, uh...

She's my girlfriend.

Oh.

I'd like to be there
for all the appointments.

I want to be
in the hospital room,

holding her hand,
pushing her hair out of her eyes

while she's crying
bloody murder,

calling me all the names
in the book.

I just, uh...

I don't want to be shut out.

I don't have a problem
with that.

I -- I didn't think
you would.

I don't know
what Jonathan told you, but...

Oh, you don't owe me any
kind of explanation at all, doc.

Well, but I'm not.

I mean,
if -- if you think that I'm...

I used to pray
every night to God

to take me apart and put
the pieces back together,

only a little different,

just so that I wouldn't have
to feel what I felt,

I wouldn't have to want
what I wanted.

But then I met Helen,

and for some reason I couldn't
understand, she loved me,

and I -- I didn't
all of a sudden feel right.

But seeing myself
through someone else's eyes...

it makes a difference.

It's gonna be a real pain

trying to find another
ultrasound technician.

Shouldn't we go to your room?

What's wrong with in here?
Come on.

Are you sure?

This is what you wanted,
right?

On your mom's bed?

It's bigger than mine.

What if she comes home?
What if -- what if she comes in?

So?
What if she does?

I -- I'm not so sure
that this is --

Hey, you love me, right?

Don't you?

Libby?
I thought you'd be at dinner.

I'm so sorry to just
barge in on you like this.

It's -- it's okay.
Uh...

I have a little something
for you

now that it's, uh,
actually your birthday.

I'm 40.
Did you know that?

Doesn't matter to me.
I'm okay with an older woman.

Well, it matters to me,

because, if I'm lucky --
really lucky --

I -- I -- I only get 40 more?

Well, that's one way
to look at it.

I don't -- I don't think
it's the best way.

Here.
Happy Birthday.

Did I ever tell you
about my wedding?

Uh, no.

I don't -- I don't think
you have, no.

Well, we got married
at the city hall in Detroit.

And when we got there,
we had to wait our turn

because there was already another
couple there getting married.

And the bride was blond,

and she looked a lot like me,
and, um...

sometimes, on my anniversary,
I would think about her,

and I -- I would wonder,
was she still in Detroit?

Did she have children?

Was she happy?

I would think about her,

and I would hope that there was
more for her in her life

than there was for me in mine.

I can't -- I won't
keep going like this.

There just has to be
something better.

Libby, you can have
something better -- with me.

But I'm gonna need that back.

Aren't I supposed to open it?

Well, here.

Give me your hand.

Libby, uh...

I want you to be my wife.

There's a --
There's a lot

that would need to happen
to make that possible.

Yes, I know that.
And I'm willing to wait.

And I'm willing to help you
with whatever it takes...

to get there.

But this is what I want.

Stand up and kiss me.

Actually, uh, I can't.
Right now, it's my knee.

It's an old football injury,
and I'm stuck to the floor.

No, don't -- don't
turn the light on.

Say you love me.

Tell me you love me.

Please.

I'm sorry.

But I -- I -- I want this.

It -- it was a mistake.

I made -- I made a mistake.

No, you -- you didn't.

Please, what can I do?

No, no, nothing.
You -- you can't do anything.

It's -- it's me.

I've ruined everything.

You haven't.
I -- I want this.

But I don't!

Look...

the one thing -- the only thing
I've done right...

is loving someone so completely,

with as much of my...
broken soul...

as I can muster...

...and if I -- if I give up
on that...

I -- I can't -- I can't give up
on that or...

or I'll have nothing.

I'll be nothing.

I didn't know you were
so devoted to your wife.

I'm, uh...

I'm sorry.

I should go.

It's not like I decided
my life should be this.

It's not -- it's not like
I -- I chose.

It's more like...

a long time ago,
I walked through a door,

and I found myself in a room
with other doors,

and I walked through
one of those,

and on and on and on and on,
until...

here I am...

married to my ex-husband...

seeing...two married men.

You don't have to explain
yourself.

People are complicated.
And their lives get complicated.

I know that. I'm hardly one
to point the finger.

I'm afraid Tessa's the one who's
gonna need help understanding.

But I don't know
what I'm gonna say to her.

I think of all
the -- all the times

that I said that
I was working late, and...

all the excuses,
the late-night phone calls --

"I got held up at work,

so why don't you just go ahead
and eat without me, honey?"

And every time...

...she knew.

When I think of
how she must see me...

how she must look at me...

It's as if I am --
I'm seeing myself...clearly...

for the very first time.

I'm gonna drive you home.

No, I can't go home.

Not yet.
I -- I can't...

I can't face her.

Okay. Well, then let me
order you up a pot of coffee.

What happened?

Nothing.

It's...

It's been a -- a difficult week.

Do you know where
the word "holy" comes from?

It comes from the Greek,
"hagios," meaning separate.

So when God tells us he longs
for us to be a holy people,

what he means is literally
at a distance.

'Cause every time
we take away that distance,

every time we put ourselves
in great danger.

And we risk forgetting the line
that separates us from them.

Nora, you've been difficult
to reach the last week or so.

Has something...?

No.

Everything is -- is fine.

You know,

you don't have to tell me how
you've strayed from the path.

I just want to be sure
you're ready to return to it.