Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 2, Episode 9 - Story of My Life - full transcript
Virginia continues to impersonate a patient's case history in order to glean advice from a psychiatrist. Betty and Masters' attempt to remedy Lester's impotence by hiring a prostitute rattles him even further. Libby gets the third degree when she offers her eyewitness testimony regarding the beaten man. And Barbara Sanders wrestles with an unsettling diagnosis that exposes a chain of secrets and causes Masters and Johnson to clash over their treatment strategy.
Previously on
Masters of Sex...
We decided to begin our
work on dysfunction
with male impotence.
I'm just like those guys.
In the, you know...
Dysfunctional way.
Are you going
to join me?
I may have overdone it.
I'm not sure I'd be of...
Uh, much use.
I thought
you were going home.
We decided we didn't want anyone
else doing the treatments.
I've spent most of my life
pretending you don't exist.
If people would ask me, I'd
tell them I was an only child.
I want my brother back.
Look, we got
a couple of witnesses
who, uh, saw
a truck drive by
and saw Leonard
get dumped out the back.
And, so, I was wondering
if maybe you saw anything.
If there
are other witnesses,
why are you
talking to me?
What was his name?
Your first.
I remembered his name.
Paul.
But wasn't
your brother...
We had this creek
that ran behind our house,
and we'd catch frogs
and have them race.
Who is the best psychologist in St.
Louis?
Lloyd Madden, maybe.
Let's call him.
We can give him the
basics of Barbara's case.
No reputable physician would consent
to giving a medical opinion
on a patient
they haven't met.
You cannot
expect me to sit down
with a complete
stranger. A... A man...
I'm sorry,
Virginia, I can't.
My brother and I,
we would spend
every day down there
chasing frogs and...
As we got older,
the games...
They changed.
Ripped By mstoll
That's...
I think everything.
My story.
I don't know
how this works.
I've never done
this before so...
Do you ask
me questions?
How can
I help you?
Why are you here?
Well, I suppose,
I would like to know
how to put what happened
to me in its proper place,
to not think about it
all the time, every day.
It's a process,
Barbara.
Not a checklist.
Of course,
but if you had any
specific suggestions...
You know what's interesting
about your story?
Your voice,
when you tell it.
Those are difficult things
you're speaking of,
being sexually abused
by your brother.
Your mother finding
you and him together
and yet never
speaking of it.
The judgement and rejection
you felt from her,
the repulsion you
felt for yourself.
And one might
expect the telling
of such
terrible things
to summon up some
very strong feelings...
Pain...
Rage...
Sadness.
But it didn't
for you.
It was almost as if you
were describing something
that happened
to someone else.
Well, it didn't.
It happened to me.
And I'm sorry that I wasn't
emoting enough, but...
Were there tears
when it happened?
Yes, of course.
A 12-year-old girl,
she cries when she's being
penetrated for the first time.
Were you that
12-year-old girl?
Yes, Hold you.
Then why not say "I"?
"I cried."
Well, I did.
And I've cried plenty
in telling the story,
maybe not tonight,
but I have.
Hmm. To whom
have you told it?
Just a friend...
Someone who wants to help
but does not know how.
Someone who doesn't know
what to do besides just
listen to me
as I go on and on.
Perhaps you keep
reliving your experience
because each time you're hoping
it'll have a different outcome.
So how would you rewrite
your story, Barbara?
I can't.
It happened.
I can't change it.
What if
you could?
Where would you begin?
What would you say
to make it
end differently?
I don't know.
I guess I... I would...
Tell my brother to stop?
That's right. Say it.
Stop? As a little girl.
Not as a woman.
Stop!
Yes.
Yes, find
that voice.
Speak as your
12-year-old self.
Imagine telling your brother
what you wanted to say then,
but couldn't.
Start there.
Libby, take a bow.
She really is
the best cook!
Isn't she, Bill?
She is, indeed.
Well, I used to be
more adventurous,
but Johnny's going
through a phase.
Nothing but
buttered noodles.
You know how picky
children can be.
Oh, well, you don't yet,
but you will very soon.
All systems go
for Wednesday?
Libby,
Frank got me a fondue set
a few Christmases ago.
- Oh, I just love fondue.
- Still in the box!
He didn't realise...
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Not at all.
I thought it was
just melted cheese.
Turns out there's a...
A lot of booze
in the recipe.
It's nearly half wine.
Well, if I can't offer
anyone seconds...
Oh, let me
help you there.
It really was delicious.
Libby, thank you.
A clean plate
is the best compliment.
Would you look at that?
I thought I would
go to my grave
before I saw Francis
eat a green vegetable.
Oh, nowadays
he'll eat salad, even.
I could never get
either one of them to eat fish,
no matter how much sauce
I used to disguise it...
It's a very handsome house
you have here, Bill.
It burns off,
doesn't it?
Sorry?
The wine.
The alcohol content.
When you heat it up,
ethanol evaporates when it
reaches a boiling point.
It's basic science.
Nevertheless,
we don't bring
liquor into the house.
So, is this
a problem for you?
Being around this?
Not today.
Although mom seems a little
tight, don't you think?
No.
I think she's happy.
I didn't know you had
friends in St. Louis.
Not friends exactly.
And they're Frank's,
not mine.
I'm glad Bill's agreed to
meet them tomorrow night.
You mean, he wants
them to meet Bill.
And I don't blame him
for wanting to show off
his accomplished
big brother.
It's so wonderful having
them both together.
I don't recall ever
seeing her drink.
Well, she never
drank Scotch,
which is what dad had
around the house.
Now she likes
the occasional...
Tom Collins
or two.
Or three?
Show of hands
for coffee, please.
Oh, I left some files in the
office over the weekend.
Oh, no!
You're leaving now?
Can't it wait?
I have a patient
early tomorrow, um,
woman with a complicated medical
history I need to review.
Well, why don't
I go with you?
Keep you company
on the drive.
Oh, that's a fine idea.
That neighbourhood is bad
enough in the daytime,
as Libby
certainly can attest
My God, such
a harrowing story.
Not necessary, sit.
Enjoy dessert.
I caught a whiff
of it earlier.
You are in
for a treat.
It's a rum cake.
I didn't realise.
I made a rum cake.
Which I'm sure
will be sensational.
I'll be just fine
with coffee.
Did you see what's
going on downstairs?
No.
Really?
You didn't notice
dozens of young women
in sashes and tiaras
down in the lobby?
It's the Miss Buoy
of St. Louey Pageant
I guess I must've
been preoccupied.
Just so happens, I was
a pageant girl myself.
Runner-up,
Miss Teen Fayetteville.
What did the winner
have that you didn't?
An uncanny resemblance
to Veronica Lake.
Ah.
God, I hated
those things.
I never would've done it if my
mother hadn't forced me to sign up.
My mother could
be a little deaf
when it came
to listening to me.
I should've
just said, "No."
Loud enough for her
to have really heard.
No!
And what's got you
so preoccupied?
Oh... Where are you coming from?
Uh, family dinner
with my mother.
Mmm, how was that?
Why don't you take your dress off?
Come over here.
And why don't you
take your pants off
and come
over here?
I was looking
forward to, uh,
taking care
of you tonight.
Where's the fun
in that for you?
I enjoy watching you
enjoying yourself.
That's becoming standard
operating procedure these days.
Well, for a change
of pace then,
why don't we reverse
the arrangement?
Why don't you
lie back
and let me
take care of you?
I've, uh, I've...
I've just come
from Libby.
But you said dinner
with your mother.
She went early and Libby and I...
I see.
Does that
happen a lot?
Her to me?
Or from me to her?
Never mind. I shouldn't
have said anything.
No, I... Should not have asked.
Maybe we should just take
a rain check tonight.
I'm just curious,
how did you
get my number?
DR MASTERS; Well, Miss
DiMello said you came
highly recommended
by, uh...
By...
Judge Tillinghast.
We go way back. Way.
Apparently, he had some very
nice things to say about you.
Said you took initiative.
Always found
creative solutions.
You very imaginative.
And flexible.
The judge
said, "Flexible."
Oh, yes, very flexible.
Gymnastics as a kid.
And you're clear
about what the job is.
Blowjob, hand job,
whatever it takes
to get the job done.
It's not that this guy's pecker
has never worked, is it?
No, he's had some
unfortunate interactions
with women that have
left him, uh, non-functioning
for the past few years.
You've dealt
with men like that
suffering erectile dysfunction
for an extended period of time?
Impotence is a working girl's bread
and butter. Am I right, Kitty?
Oh, sure. See it all the time.
Now, Mr Linden is
the, uh, nervous type.
A gentle approach
may be most effective,
but we'll leave that to your discretion.
Mmm,
speak of the devil.
He's a certain charm,
Kitty, wouldn't you say?
I've seen worse.
I don't know,
Dr Masters,
it's a really nice
offer and everything,
but if you wanted to let me
know I was doing a good job,
some extra cash at
Christmas would be great.
Is it hot in here?
This isn't a bonus.
It's an opportunity to
participate in the work.
Aren't I already
participating?
As a subject.
Is that a good idea?
I mean, to cross that line.
Isn't it best to maintain some
professional objectivity?
That's outweighed
by the value of having
an insider
participate, you know,
someone like you who's
observed the subtle nuances
of sexual arousal and can
speak to them personally.
I need a little air.
But... But...
Why do I have to do it
with a girl like that?
How else are we to
eliminate the question
of your partner's
sexual competence?
In a controlled experiment,
there can only be one variable.
So we need to partner
you with a woman whose...
Whose sexual competence
is not a factor,
someone who's come across
this problem before,
often, and has some
ideas of how to treat it.
I am... I am...
I am offering you the
chance to be a pioneer.
You know, like, um...
Like Wilbur Wright
flying over the heads
of the doubting French
at Le Mans.
There's film of
that, you know.
A year later, 1909,
first aerial shots.
There's history to
be made here, Lester.
What made
you look up, Mrs Masters?
Well, um,
the sound of the truck,
the squeal
of the tyres.
And how close would you say you
were to it when it passed you?
I guess the distance from
here to about there?
How's your vision,
Mrs Masters?
Can you read
the sign there?
"The law of the land
is our demand."
Are those letters
about the same size
as numbers on a licence
plate, wouldn't you say?
Well, I didn't...
As I said, the truck
went by so fast.
I saw that it was
old and blue,
uh, with an engine that had
a terrible rattle to it.
Uh, by the time I got in my car
and turned the corner, um,
I saw Mister, uh...
Sorry, I forgot that
poor man's name.
Gilroy.
Leonard Gilroy.
Mr Gilroy
on the kerb.
It was a distressing
sight, wasn't it?
A man bound and gagged,
his body thrown to the kerb
like a sack of grain.
It was terrible.
Had you ever seen
anything like it before?
No.
It shakes a person up,
doesn't it? Rattles you?
You know, when I'm rattled,
I forget things, details.
You know, maybe there
are a few you forgot.
She can't help, Marcus.
She didn't see it happen.
She wasn't an eyewitness.
No, I didn't hear
Mrs Masters expressly
say that, Robert.
Well, I...
I wanna make sure
you understand the
stakes here, ma'am.
Before you commit
to an answer,
the stakes might jog your memory
and cause you to recollect
the situation differently than
when you and Robert first spoke.
For example, you might recollect
that you were already
in your car when that
truck passed you,
but you were just
a second behind it
when you turned onto Slocum,
close enough to see
that the first three numbers
of the licence plate
were 2-8-9 right before
you saw Leonard Gilroy
thrown off the
back of that truck.
It would be very
helpful, Mrs Masters,
if you recollected that.
Because I'm sorry to say that the St.
Louis police department
thinks people
with your colour eyes
see better than people
with my colour eyes.
What are you doing?
We have a patient coming.
I know,
vaginismus, right?
Dr Masters
said it was okay.
I haven't documented
a single vaginismus yet.
We are seeing a woman,
Lester, not a dysfunction.
She's just
beginning treatment.
She's self-conscious
enough as it is
without a camera
trained on her.
But Dr Masters said...
I'm saying that
it's too soon.
Out.
Vaginismus
is the loss of
control over the muscles of the perineum
and the outer third of the vagina.
These muscles
contract spastically
in response to entry or even
the suggestion of entry.
Couldn't it
be a holiday?
Doesn't it sound
like a holiday?
The Feast
of Vaginismus!
Uh, Virginia has
explained to you
the importance of
a vaginal examination?
Yes.
Have you've
been penetrated before?
Uh, when I was
very young, yes.
Without difficulty?
Dr Masters means
physical difficulty.
We understand that there was a
difficult emotional component.
Uh, when... When he
first put it inside me,
it hurt, and there
was a little blood.
And after
the first time?
Uh, the...
The pain was lessened.
But then once
I realised that
the circumstances
were inappropriate...
Does he know
who I was with?
He does.
After that, the
intercourse stopped,
and then years later when I
tried to have relations...
Vaginal relations
with Gil, my fiancé...
It was as if I had closed
up entirely down there.
Okay, so what we're
gonna do today is, uh,
help you understand how your
body has been responding,
how the muscles constrict
physically to prevent penetration.
So, first, I will be inserting
a dilator into your vagina.
Today? Now?
We're gonna go very slowly,
very gently with lubrication.
All right.
And then, uh, once the
dilator is inside you,
you're gonna feel yourself
clenching around it.
Uh, but without the back
and forth of intercourse,
the muscles will relax and begin
to comfortably accommodate it.
Don't mind me.
You don't
have to do this today.
No, no, no, no,
I want to. I...
I wanna get it over with.
All right.
Deep breath.
I'm gonna
go very slowly.
I'm sorry! No, no,
I can't, I can't!
I can't, please!
No. I don't know
what's wrong with me.
Why don't we just give Barb a few
moments to herself, shall we?
You know how I feel
about this, Bill.
We are only treating
one half of the problem.
Yes, the half we can
do something about.
Every patient
with sexual dysfunction
is going to experience
some kind of distress.
It's the distress
that brings them here.
Yes, it is terrible
for them.
And yes, it is hard
to stand by and watch.
But are we gonna
turn them away
when we have the means to treat
their physical symptoms?
We are clearing
the way for her
to have intercourse
that she is
psychologically
unprepared for.
And why do you assume that some
kind of emotional breakthrough
is gonna relieve
her physical problems?
We can offer a practical
treatment, Virginia.
Anything else, and we
are out of our depth.
Now let's go back in
and try again.
I'm trying to remember
the last time
something that I said
mattered this much.
I could send those men
to jail, couldn't I?
I don't think so.
You think the system's
that corrupt?
That the eyewitness testimony
of an upstanding member
of this community wouldn't
be enough to indict them?
Well, maybe
someone else's.
Just not yours.
What's wrong
with my testimony?
You ever lied before?
Yes. Of course.
Who hasn't?
White lies.
White lies, huh?
What did you do?
Someone once make the wrong
change in your favour
and you didn't
correct 'em?
You tell your girlfriend you
like her hairdo when you didn't?
Are you
insulting me?
You made a left turn
onto Slocum?
Uh, that's right.
With the light or after
the light had changed?
With the light.
There's no traffic
light on that corner.
It's a stop sign.
Yes, well, under
the circumstances,
a person
could forget that.
Well, how'd you happen to
remember the licence plate,
Mrs Masters?
I mean, you had to make
visual note of that before
you saw anything unusual.
I just...
It stuck in my mind.
Uh, 2-8-9. Because that
was my street address
when I was a child.
2-8-9 Cedar Avenue.
They can check that,
so it better be true.
Is it true?
No.
Sol... I...
Instead I could say...
Well, what should I say?
You seem real
flustered, ma'am.
Are you flustered?
I...
You saw a man
bound and gagged and thrown
from the back of a truck.
I mean,
what did you do?
Did you stop
the car and get out?
No.
You just drove off?
Yes. Ah, to a police
station, I'm assuming.
No.
You saw someone
commit a crime,
a despicable act,
and you didn't drive
straight to the
authorities to report it?
Well, I am
doing that now.
lam... I am here now.
The defence will eat you
for lunch, Mrs Masters,
and pick you
out their teeth.
You'll do us more
harm than good.
It ain't worth it.
Well, then, why did that
lawyer, Mr Gabler, ask me?
Because he doesn't
know you.
Oh, and you do?
So I'm not a good liar, as if that
is something to be ashamed of.
So I don't have a criminal
record like some people.
You know, when I was,
uh, 17,
I threw a brick through
a plate glass window
of a service station
and stole a set of tyres,
just 'cause they was
fine and I wanted 'em.
Now, it was stupid.
You know, I was a stupid kid,
but I wanted something I couldn't get
any other way than by taking it.
Now I don't want things that
don't belong to me any more,
but the things that do,
the things that I'm entitled to
that someone says I can't have...
Oh, I'm gon' get them
anyway I can.
You came to me.
You asked for my help,
and I am here and I am
willing to give it to you.
And now
you don't want it?
Now it's not...
It's not good
enough for you?
I'm not good
enough for you?
You're a careful woman,
Mrs Masters.
And I'm guessing
you came to a complete stop
at that stop sign,
you looked both ways,
you signalled,
you drove on,
hell, you didn't
get out of the car.
Now we need a different kind of
person on that witness stand.
Now it was real good
of you to wanna help,
and we thank you
kindly for your offer,
but we'll make do
without it.
You just go on
home, ma'am.
I'm embarrassed.
Don't be.
You were both
very patient.
I'm sorry that
I made it so difficult.
I'm doing the
right thing, aren't I,
by trying
to fix myself?
I know it's unfair
of me to ask you,
because what are
you supposed to say?
Thank you.
I think that
we can help you.
We're going to
try our very best.
I wanna believe you. I...
I have trouble
trusting people.
Of course you do.
People have let you down,
taken advantage of you.
People close to you.
Maybe even the person
closest to you.
My brother, you mean?
What would you say
to him if you could?
Well, we still talk.
Not about what happened.
But he lives
in Chesterfield.
He just got divorced...
Again.
Again, again,
it's third time.
What would you...
What would you have
wanted to say to him
when you were
that little girl,
but you couldn't because
you were too afraid?
Like what?
Like...
"Stop."
Did you ever
tell him to stop?
I don't know.
I... I must have, right?
Well, what
if you were...
What if you were to say it now?
Out loud?
Tell him now but say it
as your 12-year-old self.
Stop.
Like that?
Certainly not acting...
Adorable.
He just tucked himself
right under my arm.
I can tell he was dropping
off, sol skipped ahead a bit.
Oh, Johnny will never let
you get away with that.
Did he make
you go back?
And then insisted on turning
the rest of the pages himself.
Did Bill want a boy?
Um... Just a healthy
baby, he said.
Frank says that, too,
but I know he wants one.
The giveaway is when
you see your husband
with your
friends' kids, isn't it?
How he jokes with the boys,
but doesn't quite know
what to say to the girls?
Yes, I suppose.
I'm glad they're going
together tonight.
It was important to Frank
that he introduce
Bill to his crowd.
Well, he may find that his brother can
be a little on the taciturn side.
Oh, that's
perfectly okay.
Really, no one there expects
him to say a thing.
Why would that be?
Rarely have we
seen a person fail
who has thoroughly
followed our path.
Those who do not
recover are people
who are not completely
willing to give...
You said we
were meeting friends of yours.
And here they are...
Total strangers, most of whom know
me better than I know myself.
It's my birthday, Bill.
I want you here
to celebrate it.
It's your birthday in March.
My sober birthday.
They're gonna give me a chip
and let me tell my story.
I want you to hear it.
...but many of
them do recover.
They have the
capacity to be honest
You must be Lester.
Come on in.
It's very nice
to meet you, Miss...
Kitty.
Miss Kitty,
like on Gunsmoke.
The proprietress of the Long
Branch Saloon in Dodge City?
Although everyone
knew Miss Kitty
wasn't really a barkeep as
much as she was a prost...
It's okay.
You just relax.
We're gonna have
a good time tonight.
Nothing is going to happen
that you don't want to happen.
What if I don't want
anything to happen?
Now why would
you say that?
Don't you think
I'm pretty?
Pretty? Oh, yeah.
Yes, you're very pretty.
My sister has
your hair colour.
Okay, see, now that's not a
great road to go down, Lester.
Why don't we just try having
a normal conversation?
Maybe we could start by you
telling me what you like?
The French New Wave.
About me.
Um, that's a very
lovely blouse.
Oh, thank you.
Well, it's very silky.
Do you wanna feel
how silky it is?
I can tell from here.
To be honest, it's a
little constricting,
a little tight
around the bust area.
Wow, um, I should tell you my
heart's beating very fast.
Oh, may I take that
as a compliment?
I think it's paroxysmal
supraventricular tachycardia.
It's what killed my father.
Very recently.
I'm so sorry.
Now, Lester, what's the worst
thing that could happen here?
I could drop dead.
Well, let's pretend
like I'm a doctor.
A cardiologist?
Okay, a cardiologist.
You'd trust a cardiologist,
wouldn't you?
Depends on where he
went to medical school.
Well, I went to the
best medical school in the world.
And I studied more things
than just the heart.
But ultimately, you'd have
to pick a speciality.
Oh, it was
very difficult
Because it turns out...
I'm good at everything.
Patients can lie down
on my exam table
and I can diagnose
their problems.
And I use my magic
touch to heal them.
Doesn't that make medical
school superfluous?
I instinctively know
where to press,
where to squeeze,
where to stroke,
and where to lick.
Won't you let me
show you, Lester,
how I can bring
men back to life?
Congratulations, Frank.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Hi. I'm
Frank, and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Frank.
I'm very grateful
to be here tonight.
Been practising
that move since I was eight.
Disappearing acts have
always been my speciality.
Not just coins or cards.
I had this trick
when I was a kid,
I could make
myself disappear,
I could sense trouble
coming with just
from the way my dad
came through the door.
Shazam! I was out the door
and down the street
telling
Mrs Magavern jokes,
helping water her tomato
plants so she'd invite me
to have supper
with her family
before anyone at my house
had even missed me.
After a while,
I decided to up the ante.
You know, teach
myself to disappear
without ever
going anywhere.
I could be sitting at the
dinner table and my dad
would be telling me what
he thought about me...
Taking tap dancing lessons
or any extra helpings.
Getting a "B" in biology.
"Your brother
never got a
And, uh, presto,
I was gone.
Some tricks get easier
the more you practise.
This one got harder, took
more and more effort, uh,
to make it look simple.
After a while, I needed
a fearless assistant
to help me pull it off.
And I found
lots of them...
Brandy.
Sherry.
Scotch.
Bourbon.
Gin.
I always thought
I was just born
with this natural gift.
It wasn't until
I quit drinking,
until my sobriety
allowed me this, uh,
magnificent
clarity that
I realised
I'd had a teacher
all along,
my dad.
The greatest magician
of all time.
He could make things vanish.
Like that.
His approval.
My mother's smile.
The fun of a baseball game
you'd been waiting for
all summer.
I'd do one thing
to disappoint him,
blow a line at the
Christmas pageant
strike out with the
bases loaded, and,uh,
and, uh, afterwards, he
wouldn't let me get in the car.
He'd make me walk home,
once in, uh,
once in a heat wave,
once in a snowstorm.
I watch his car
pull away,
I'd see him
gel smaller and smaller
as he drove into
the distance until, poof!
He was gone.
Without saying a word,
just by his example,
he taught both of his
boys how to vanish.
Didn't he, Bill?
Ta-da.
I'm not sure
what you mean.
"What else?"
That was good.
That finding your
voice exercise,
I think that
really helped.
So I was hoping you had
another suggestion.
I see. So you're
done with that part?
Well, I imagined
what I would've liked
to have said
to my brother.
You said to do that. I did it.
So what do I do now?
You seem very intent on
moving through this process
as quickly as possible,
Barbara.
Well, do you blame me
for that?
For wanting
a little peace of mind?
That's why I'm here,
after all.
You're asking
"if I blame you."
I meant, I know that you
don't blame, it's a...
It's a figure of speech.
It's familiar to you,
though, isn't it?
To feel blamed?
Judged?
Misunderstood?
You felt that from
your mother, you said.
And your, um...
I'm sorry,
your fiancé?
Gil.
Yes. Who else?
Mmm. No one, really.
Have you ever
withheld some truth
about yourself
because you feared
someone's judgement?
There, there was someone
that I was close to,
my boss, actually.
She died a few years back.
I was afraid of her finding
out something that I'd done,
which, she did,
by accident.
I was, I was seeing
a married man.
And how did your friend
react to that?
She,
let me have it.
But the situation was,
it wasn't entirely as she
understood it to be.
Lillian, uh, Lillian saw
things in black and white
and this relationship...
There was a lot of grey area
in, in that relationship.
So she judged you more harshly
than you felt you deserved.
Yes.
And yet you say, you
anticipated her judgement.
So clearly you had a sense of
what her objections would be.
Well...
Of course. Yeah,
I, he was married.
And that bothered
your friend?
And not you?
I never saw myself as a
threat to the man's wife.
Because? Because I never
wanted to marry him.
So that was the only way
you posed a threat if, uh,
you wanted this woman's
husband for yourself?
Yes.
So why did it end?
I'm sorry?
Well, if you weren't concerned
about this man's wife,
what caused the
relationship to end?
Gil.
I met Gil.
Leona'd take ages
to get ready.
So Frank and I'd wind up
sitting in the living room
waiting for her
to make an entrance,
and in the meantime, he'd
be trying to make me laugh,
doing all these
crazy routines,
most of which he just
stole off the TV.
One day he knocked on the door
and my sister answered it,
all smiles and batted
eyelashes, "Oh, Francis."
And he said,
"Actually, Leona,
"I'm here for Pauline."
So how about you
and Bill?
Oh, um, uh,
I was working
as a medical secretary.
Uh-huh...
Uh, we, we didn't get
married right away,
but only because he was so
busy with his practise.
Uh, we fell
in love very quickly.
He was, um,
he was so charming.
I know. The Masters charm.
I, for one,
was blinded by it.
It's probably
what prevented me
from seeing the signs
for so long.
Signs of...
Frank's drinking?
It's embarrassing
what I missed, really.
Things I just chalked up to
his having a big personality.
But, God,
the mood swings,
the impulsivity...
A new car, a new house,
a new medical partnership.
He got sloppy
toward the end, though,
couldn't keep
his story straight,
the lies...
Where he'd been
all night,
why he couldn't
make love,
and then, of course, there was the
visit to the ER where he almost died.
And I said, "It's
the bottle or me.
"Pick."
You really think you
would've walked away?
You would've done the same
thing in my position, Libby.
No one expected me to
draw the line, honestly,
I think most people considered
me as a bit of a ninny.
I'm sure that's not true. I was!
You wouldn't recognise
the person I was before.
I was the
go-along gal,
the laugh you could
always count on.
I didn't wanna make waves,
didn't ever wanna upset anyone.
Mmm, I tell ya, it felt
good to do something
no one thought
I was capable of.
He thought I saved his
life, but really,
I was saving my own.
So, Dr Masters does
not want to go
up in size today.
We're just going to see
if the insertion itself
is less painful,
and if you can tolerate the
same dilation for longer.
So how was
the soreness after?
I went home and took a
warm bath like you said.
And you took
the pain pill?
I followed all
your instructions.
Good.
That's good.
Including talking to Paul.
I, saying those
things to him.
Wait, uh, do you mean you
spoke to him in your head?
Or in person?
We met.
No, I meant...
The suggestion was that
you, you think about
what you would have liked
to have said back then.
You, you said
to talk to him, so...
No, the idea was to
imagine the conversation.
Well, I did not
have to imagine one
because he lives 20 miles
away, and we met for dinner
like we do
sometimes anyway.
And?
"Remember when?"
I said...
"Do you remember
that time when we..."
I could've said, "Went
sledding on Bergen Hill."
For all it upset him.
Did he deny it?
No.
No.
Not at all.
But he remembered
it different.
He said that
it was my idea.
That's absurd, Barb.
Of course he's
going to say that
No, no, no, it, no, it,
it wasn't like that.
He didn't accuse me.
He just...
He reminded me.
I forgot that there
were these triplets
that moved in
across the street from us
that summer.
And every morning he wanted
to go off with them.
And I wanted him
to stay home,
play with me.
Just with me.
And so...
I invented this game
to keep him interested.
And it worked.
You don't know that
that's what happened.
It makes sense,
Virginia.
If he had violated me,
how could we be so close?
How could I want
to see him be happy?
Barb, these things
are complicated.
I'm just learning myself
how complicated.
I want to remember
this is his fault
because I wanna be
absolved of responsibility
for how my life
has turned out.
Being alone.
For not being able
to love someone
in a way that is not
shameful and dirty.
What if it's
my fault, Virginia?
What if I did this
to myself?
You know in
Sunset Boulevard
how William Holden's dead
floating in the pool
and telling the story
at the same time?
That was me.
Splayed on the bed,
hovering above it all
at the same time,
victim and narrator.
Come on, now. Isn't that
a little overstated?
I'm telling you, I was completely
disassociated from my body.
In my head, looking down
at myself thinking,
"What's going on down there?
What is she doing?
"Where's she
touching me?
"Has this woman ever
pulled taffy for a living?"
What was she
doing exactly?
Was it all manual stimulation
or oral as well?
Why are you writing
any of this down?
Nothing happened,
all right?
I flopped. Literally.
Even if you didn't achieve
an erection, Lester,
it's still of
clinical value.
You know, it allows us
to rule out techniques
that weren't effective
this time but next time
you'll be open to other techniques.
Oh, no, no, no.
There's not gonna be a next time.
Lester.
Can't you find another
guy in my situation
to be your guinea pig? You
say we're everywhere, right?
I want you to stay
with this, Lester.
I can't.
The single variable thing
may work for the study
but not for me.
For me, I need
just two people
figuring it out together.
Not an expert
and a novice.
Just a man and a woman
equally matched
even if they both happen
to be inept.
That'd be tantamount to the
blind leading the blind.
Not if they're
already a couple.
If they know
each other's bodies,
have feelings
for each other.
So many subjects have
come through your door.
Don't you know a couple
like that?
Gini.
Lib.
What are you doing here?
Oh, well, I'm...
Can I get a refill,
please?
May I join you
for a second?
Oh, I'm sorry, Lib, I really
should head back upstairs.
I won't take up much of
your time, okay, just...
Well, I'm stalling,
really.
I'm trying to
screw up my courage.
Uh, to do what?
Can I tell you after I
know how it turns out?
In case I chicken out?
Of course.
Now, I really
should get going.
Let's just say that
I could use some of
what you have
in abundance...
Nerve.
Really, Gin, I keep thinking
about when you first started
working with Bill
at Maternity.
How you just, walked into his
office without any experience
and yet you demanded
to be taken seriously.
What made you think that you
could do that? It was...
It was not courage,
if that's what
you're thinking.
What was it then?
False sense
of entitlement, maybe?
Recklessness?
Stupidity?
Come on.
Libby, I...
I don't read instructions,
I just
take things out of
the box and I plug them in.
To hell with
consequences.
To hell with the blown fuses.
The fingers almost lost
in the spinning blade.
That's ridiculous.
I look at you and...
You're one of the bravest
people that I know.
You just see what
you want and you,
you go and get it.
Don't do that, please.
I mean it.
Don't, uh,
don't hold me up as an
example of anything.
Now, I really need to get upstairs.
We have patients.
Of course, you go.
Uh, we have your
wife scheduled
for a capping
this afternoon.
Did I get the
time wrong?
She'll be here. Uh, I was hoping
to have a private word with Bill.
Oh, Dr Masters, Dr Mason
is here to see ya.
I'm sorry, did you say
“Mason?” Yeah, that's right.
In my office,
please, Frank.
- My name's not...
- My office.
Is there anything you'd like to
say to me about last night, Bill?
You're hoping
for an apology?
You don't think your abrupt
departure calls for one?
Oh, it seemed
an appropriate response
to a bait-and-switch.
You were hardly introducing
me to some friends.
I was reintroducing
myself, to you.
I needed
their support.
It's in rooms like that I found
the courage to tell the truth.
My truth.
Well, which is it?
The truth or your truth?
Maybe if you stayed
and listened...
I already knew
the whole story.
The sadistic father,
always teaching his son
a lesson in humiliation.
The kid who left home
to become a doctor
to make a career out
of saving lives,
having barely been able
to save his own.
I knew it because
it's my story, Francis.
And maybe AA's allowed you
to appropriate my experience
as justification
for your overindulgence.
What? Or maybe you truly
are deluded, you know?
All that alcohol has played
tricks on your mind.
Now just a minute...
I fumbled a 4th down
33-yard pass
at the 8-yard line.
That was me he pulled
out of the car,
me he made walk home
in the rain,
me his tyre splattered
with mud
as he pulled out
of the parking lot,
me who knew there was a
beating waiting for me
when I got back home.
And you were in the
backseat, little brother,
watching me through
the rear window.
You saw it
happen to me.
What makes you think
the same thing
didn't happen to me
after you were gone?
That I was
your replacement?
Because if I thought
that was possible, I...
I never would've
left you behind.
No, you, you were the
apple of his eye.
He'd show you off
in front of company,
make you perform. For Christ's
sake, he gave you his name.
What father skips over
his firstborn
to give his second son
his name?
A son of a bitch,
that's who.
That's what he was
to both of us.
You tunnelled
under the wall.
I went over it.
We both escaped!
Look, whatever you need to
believe to keep yourself
on the straight
and narrow.
I'm healed, Bill.
That's what
the truth does.
You just have to be
brave enough to face it.
Oh, I see. I see.
So the point of dragging
me to that meeting
wasn't really to share insights
about yourself, was it?
Who did you really think you
were in that story, Bill?
Me?
Or him?
Think about it.
No, there's nothing, there's
nothing to think about.
He left you,
and you left me.
I don't blame you
for it.
I did.
But I understand now.
And I forgive you.
We got heat out above
the 8th floor in Pruitt.
That's at least
600 people.
May I help you,
Mrs Masters?
I was coming to ask you
the same thing.
I was wondering
if you could use my help.
You wanna volunteer?
Yes.
What can you do?
I can type.
I can answer phones.
I can stuff envelopes.
We need someone
to make a sandwich run.
What can I get for you?
I'm fine.
Really?
Nothing, huh?
Usually I'm playing
catch up with you.
Does it help?
You to be here
with me?
I don't know
what you mean.
Does drinking
help to relieve
your conscience about
what it is we're doing
here with each other?
About what it is we're...
We are doing to Libby?
Libby?
Where is this all
coming from all of a sudden?
Isn't the question why
hasn't it come up sooner?
I want to know.
What things have we told
ourselves that make it possible
to do what it is we've
done here in this room?
It's not as
if you've told me
that you don't love
your wife
the way a married man
strings along a mistress.
Well, I do love her.
I know.
I love her, too.
She's been a wonderful
friend to me.
I almost wish that there was something
that I could point to, some
terrible thing that
she had done to me
that would justify
what it is
I've done to her.
But...
There's nothing.
What do you tell
yourself, Bill,
that makes
all of this okay?
Jesus, Virginia, what's
the matter with you?
I don't know.
But maybe there is something
wrong with me, with both of us.
I wanna talk about this, Bill.
Why?
What's the point?
What does this endless
self-examination accomplish,
except to make everyone who
engages in it miserable?
The past is past.
You can't change it.
You can poke at it and prod
it, but you cannot change it.
So you move on.
You do your best,
which is what I've done.
I can move ahead
with certainty
that I have never made
a decision
with the intention
of hurting anyone.
Then you're a fool.
You don't think any of
this would hurt Libby?
I don't intend
for her to find out.
I see, so as long
as she remains oblivious...
I weighed what she did not
know against the value
of everything we are
trying to accomplish here!
No, no, we have a greater
purpose, Virginia.
The study...
The study!
It hasn't been about
the study in years, Bill.
When is the last time
we noted a session?
Used a stopwatch?
Added up anything
besides our bar tab?
We cannot pretend
that there is any point
to what
we are doing here
beyond our own
physical pleasure.
What we do
in this room
does not make a damn bit of
difference to anybody but us.
It will.
You can say that, but...
We are not gonna find
the cure for dysfunction in an exam room.
We're not.
We can diagnose
individual conditions,
we can rule out
underlying issues,
but we're not gonna find answers
pairing impotent men with prostitutes,
wives with husbands
whose sexual techniques
have made them frigid.
It's gonna take subjects that
understand sexual response.
Who know
each other's body...
What are you saying?
That this is research that you
and I should undertake here?
That this is important
enough to justify
what it is
we've done to Libby?
You can't treat
a sexual dysfunction
theoretically.
It's practical work.
It is trial and error.
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Then tell me, Bill,
what sexual dysfunction are
you proposing we treat?
Mine.
Ripped By mstoll
Masters of Sex...
We decided to begin our
work on dysfunction
with male impotence.
I'm just like those guys.
In the, you know...
Dysfunctional way.
Are you going
to join me?
I may have overdone it.
I'm not sure I'd be of...
Uh, much use.
I thought
you were going home.
We decided we didn't want anyone
else doing the treatments.
I've spent most of my life
pretending you don't exist.
If people would ask me, I'd
tell them I was an only child.
I want my brother back.
Look, we got
a couple of witnesses
who, uh, saw
a truck drive by
and saw Leonard
get dumped out the back.
And, so, I was wondering
if maybe you saw anything.
If there
are other witnesses,
why are you
talking to me?
What was his name?
Your first.
I remembered his name.
Paul.
But wasn't
your brother...
We had this creek
that ran behind our house,
and we'd catch frogs
and have them race.
Who is the best psychologist in St.
Louis?
Lloyd Madden, maybe.
Let's call him.
We can give him the
basics of Barbara's case.
No reputable physician would consent
to giving a medical opinion
on a patient
they haven't met.
You cannot
expect me to sit down
with a complete
stranger. A... A man...
I'm sorry,
Virginia, I can't.
My brother and I,
we would spend
every day down there
chasing frogs and...
As we got older,
the games...
They changed.
Ripped By mstoll
That's...
I think everything.
My story.
I don't know
how this works.
I've never done
this before so...
Do you ask
me questions?
How can
I help you?
Why are you here?
Well, I suppose,
I would like to know
how to put what happened
to me in its proper place,
to not think about it
all the time, every day.
It's a process,
Barbara.
Not a checklist.
Of course,
but if you had any
specific suggestions...
You know what's interesting
about your story?
Your voice,
when you tell it.
Those are difficult things
you're speaking of,
being sexually abused
by your brother.
Your mother finding
you and him together
and yet never
speaking of it.
The judgement and rejection
you felt from her,
the repulsion you
felt for yourself.
And one might
expect the telling
of such
terrible things
to summon up some
very strong feelings...
Pain...
Rage...
Sadness.
But it didn't
for you.
It was almost as if you
were describing something
that happened
to someone else.
Well, it didn't.
It happened to me.
And I'm sorry that I wasn't
emoting enough, but...
Were there tears
when it happened?
Yes, of course.
A 12-year-old girl,
she cries when she's being
penetrated for the first time.
Were you that
12-year-old girl?
Yes, Hold you.
Then why not say "I"?
"I cried."
Well, I did.
And I've cried plenty
in telling the story,
maybe not tonight,
but I have.
Hmm. To whom
have you told it?
Just a friend...
Someone who wants to help
but does not know how.
Someone who doesn't know
what to do besides just
listen to me
as I go on and on.
Perhaps you keep
reliving your experience
because each time you're hoping
it'll have a different outcome.
So how would you rewrite
your story, Barbara?
I can't.
It happened.
I can't change it.
What if
you could?
Where would you begin?
What would you say
to make it
end differently?
I don't know.
I guess I... I would...
Tell my brother to stop?
That's right. Say it.
Stop? As a little girl.
Not as a woman.
Stop!
Yes.
Yes, find
that voice.
Speak as your
12-year-old self.
Imagine telling your brother
what you wanted to say then,
but couldn't.
Start there.
Libby, take a bow.
She really is
the best cook!
Isn't she, Bill?
She is, indeed.
Well, I used to be
more adventurous,
but Johnny's going
through a phase.
Nothing but
buttered noodles.
You know how picky
children can be.
Oh, well, you don't yet,
but you will very soon.
All systems go
for Wednesday?
Libby,
Frank got me a fondue set
a few Christmases ago.
- Oh, I just love fondue.
- Still in the box!
He didn't realise...
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Not at all.
I thought it was
just melted cheese.
Turns out there's a...
A lot of booze
in the recipe.
It's nearly half wine.
Well, if I can't offer
anyone seconds...
Oh, let me
help you there.
It really was delicious.
Libby, thank you.
A clean plate
is the best compliment.
Would you look at that?
I thought I would
go to my grave
before I saw Francis
eat a green vegetable.
Oh, nowadays
he'll eat salad, even.
I could never get
either one of them to eat fish,
no matter how much sauce
I used to disguise it...
It's a very handsome house
you have here, Bill.
It burns off,
doesn't it?
Sorry?
The wine.
The alcohol content.
When you heat it up,
ethanol evaporates when it
reaches a boiling point.
It's basic science.
Nevertheless,
we don't bring
liquor into the house.
So, is this
a problem for you?
Being around this?
Not today.
Although mom seems a little
tight, don't you think?
No.
I think she's happy.
I didn't know you had
friends in St. Louis.
Not friends exactly.
And they're Frank's,
not mine.
I'm glad Bill's agreed to
meet them tomorrow night.
You mean, he wants
them to meet Bill.
And I don't blame him
for wanting to show off
his accomplished
big brother.
It's so wonderful having
them both together.
I don't recall ever
seeing her drink.
Well, she never
drank Scotch,
which is what dad had
around the house.
Now she likes
the occasional...
Tom Collins
or two.
Or three?
Show of hands
for coffee, please.
Oh, I left some files in the
office over the weekend.
Oh, no!
You're leaving now?
Can't it wait?
I have a patient
early tomorrow, um,
woman with a complicated medical
history I need to review.
Well, why don't
I go with you?
Keep you company
on the drive.
Oh, that's a fine idea.
That neighbourhood is bad
enough in the daytime,
as Libby
certainly can attest
My God, such
a harrowing story.
Not necessary, sit.
Enjoy dessert.
I caught a whiff
of it earlier.
You are in
for a treat.
It's a rum cake.
I didn't realise.
I made a rum cake.
Which I'm sure
will be sensational.
I'll be just fine
with coffee.
Did you see what's
going on downstairs?
No.
Really?
You didn't notice
dozens of young women
in sashes and tiaras
down in the lobby?
It's the Miss Buoy
of St. Louey Pageant
I guess I must've
been preoccupied.
Just so happens, I was
a pageant girl myself.
Runner-up,
Miss Teen Fayetteville.
What did the winner
have that you didn't?
An uncanny resemblance
to Veronica Lake.
Ah.
God, I hated
those things.
I never would've done it if my
mother hadn't forced me to sign up.
My mother could
be a little deaf
when it came
to listening to me.
I should've
just said, "No."
Loud enough for her
to have really heard.
No!
And what's got you
so preoccupied?
Oh... Where are you coming from?
Uh, family dinner
with my mother.
Mmm, how was that?
Why don't you take your dress off?
Come over here.
And why don't you
take your pants off
and come
over here?
I was looking
forward to, uh,
taking care
of you tonight.
Where's the fun
in that for you?
I enjoy watching you
enjoying yourself.
That's becoming standard
operating procedure these days.
Well, for a change
of pace then,
why don't we reverse
the arrangement?
Why don't you
lie back
and let me
take care of you?
I've, uh, I've...
I've just come
from Libby.
But you said dinner
with your mother.
She went early and Libby and I...
I see.
Does that
happen a lot?
Her to me?
Or from me to her?
Never mind. I shouldn't
have said anything.
No, I... Should not have asked.
Maybe we should just take
a rain check tonight.
I'm just curious,
how did you
get my number?
DR MASTERS; Well, Miss
DiMello said you came
highly recommended
by, uh...
By...
Judge Tillinghast.
We go way back. Way.
Apparently, he had some very
nice things to say about you.
Said you took initiative.
Always found
creative solutions.
You very imaginative.
And flexible.
The judge
said, "Flexible."
Oh, yes, very flexible.
Gymnastics as a kid.
And you're clear
about what the job is.
Blowjob, hand job,
whatever it takes
to get the job done.
It's not that this guy's pecker
has never worked, is it?
No, he's had some
unfortunate interactions
with women that have
left him, uh, non-functioning
for the past few years.
You've dealt
with men like that
suffering erectile dysfunction
for an extended period of time?
Impotence is a working girl's bread
and butter. Am I right, Kitty?
Oh, sure. See it all the time.
Now, Mr Linden is
the, uh, nervous type.
A gentle approach
may be most effective,
but we'll leave that to your discretion.
Mmm,
speak of the devil.
He's a certain charm,
Kitty, wouldn't you say?
I've seen worse.
I don't know,
Dr Masters,
it's a really nice
offer and everything,
but if you wanted to let me
know I was doing a good job,
some extra cash at
Christmas would be great.
Is it hot in here?
This isn't a bonus.
It's an opportunity to
participate in the work.
Aren't I already
participating?
As a subject.
Is that a good idea?
I mean, to cross that line.
Isn't it best to maintain some
professional objectivity?
That's outweighed
by the value of having
an insider
participate, you know,
someone like you who's
observed the subtle nuances
of sexual arousal and can
speak to them personally.
I need a little air.
But... But...
Why do I have to do it
with a girl like that?
How else are we to
eliminate the question
of your partner's
sexual competence?
In a controlled experiment,
there can only be one variable.
So we need to partner
you with a woman whose...
Whose sexual competence
is not a factor,
someone who's come across
this problem before,
often, and has some
ideas of how to treat it.
I am... I am...
I am offering you the
chance to be a pioneer.
You know, like, um...
Like Wilbur Wright
flying over the heads
of the doubting French
at Le Mans.
There's film of
that, you know.
A year later, 1909,
first aerial shots.
There's history to
be made here, Lester.
What made
you look up, Mrs Masters?
Well, um,
the sound of the truck,
the squeal
of the tyres.
And how close would you say you
were to it when it passed you?
I guess the distance from
here to about there?
How's your vision,
Mrs Masters?
Can you read
the sign there?
"The law of the land
is our demand."
Are those letters
about the same size
as numbers on a licence
plate, wouldn't you say?
Well, I didn't...
As I said, the truck
went by so fast.
I saw that it was
old and blue,
uh, with an engine that had
a terrible rattle to it.
Uh, by the time I got in my car
and turned the corner, um,
I saw Mister, uh...
Sorry, I forgot that
poor man's name.
Gilroy.
Leonard Gilroy.
Mr Gilroy
on the kerb.
It was a distressing
sight, wasn't it?
A man bound and gagged,
his body thrown to the kerb
like a sack of grain.
It was terrible.
Had you ever seen
anything like it before?
No.
It shakes a person up,
doesn't it? Rattles you?
You know, when I'm rattled,
I forget things, details.
You know, maybe there
are a few you forgot.
She can't help, Marcus.
She didn't see it happen.
She wasn't an eyewitness.
No, I didn't hear
Mrs Masters expressly
say that, Robert.
Well, I...
I wanna make sure
you understand the
stakes here, ma'am.
Before you commit
to an answer,
the stakes might jog your memory
and cause you to recollect
the situation differently than
when you and Robert first spoke.
For example, you might recollect
that you were already
in your car when that
truck passed you,
but you were just
a second behind it
when you turned onto Slocum,
close enough to see
that the first three numbers
of the licence plate
were 2-8-9 right before
you saw Leonard Gilroy
thrown off the
back of that truck.
It would be very
helpful, Mrs Masters,
if you recollected that.
Because I'm sorry to say that the St.
Louis police department
thinks people
with your colour eyes
see better than people
with my colour eyes.
What are you doing?
We have a patient coming.
I know,
vaginismus, right?
Dr Masters
said it was okay.
I haven't documented
a single vaginismus yet.
We are seeing a woman,
Lester, not a dysfunction.
She's just
beginning treatment.
She's self-conscious
enough as it is
without a camera
trained on her.
But Dr Masters said...
I'm saying that
it's too soon.
Out.
Vaginismus
is the loss of
control over the muscles of the perineum
and the outer third of the vagina.
These muscles
contract spastically
in response to entry or even
the suggestion of entry.
Couldn't it
be a holiday?
Doesn't it sound
like a holiday?
The Feast
of Vaginismus!
Uh, Virginia has
explained to you
the importance of
a vaginal examination?
Yes.
Have you've
been penetrated before?
Uh, when I was
very young, yes.
Without difficulty?
Dr Masters means
physical difficulty.
We understand that there was a
difficult emotional component.
Uh, when... When he
first put it inside me,
it hurt, and there
was a little blood.
And after
the first time?
Uh, the...
The pain was lessened.
But then once
I realised that
the circumstances
were inappropriate...
Does he know
who I was with?
He does.
After that, the
intercourse stopped,
and then years later when I
tried to have relations...
Vaginal relations
with Gil, my fiancé...
It was as if I had closed
up entirely down there.
Okay, so what we're
gonna do today is, uh,
help you understand how your
body has been responding,
how the muscles constrict
physically to prevent penetration.
So, first, I will be inserting
a dilator into your vagina.
Today? Now?
We're gonna go very slowly,
very gently with lubrication.
All right.
And then, uh, once the
dilator is inside you,
you're gonna feel yourself
clenching around it.
Uh, but without the back
and forth of intercourse,
the muscles will relax and begin
to comfortably accommodate it.
Don't mind me.
You don't
have to do this today.
No, no, no, no,
I want to. I...
I wanna get it over with.
All right.
Deep breath.
I'm gonna
go very slowly.
I'm sorry! No, no,
I can't, I can't!
I can't, please!
No. I don't know
what's wrong with me.
Why don't we just give Barb a few
moments to herself, shall we?
You know how I feel
about this, Bill.
We are only treating
one half of the problem.
Yes, the half we can
do something about.
Every patient
with sexual dysfunction
is going to experience
some kind of distress.
It's the distress
that brings them here.
Yes, it is terrible
for them.
And yes, it is hard
to stand by and watch.
But are we gonna
turn them away
when we have the means to treat
their physical symptoms?
We are clearing
the way for her
to have intercourse
that she is
psychologically
unprepared for.
And why do you assume that some
kind of emotional breakthrough
is gonna relieve
her physical problems?
We can offer a practical
treatment, Virginia.
Anything else, and we
are out of our depth.
Now let's go back in
and try again.
I'm trying to remember
the last time
something that I said
mattered this much.
I could send those men
to jail, couldn't I?
I don't think so.
You think the system's
that corrupt?
That the eyewitness testimony
of an upstanding member
of this community wouldn't
be enough to indict them?
Well, maybe
someone else's.
Just not yours.
What's wrong
with my testimony?
You ever lied before?
Yes. Of course.
Who hasn't?
White lies.
White lies, huh?
What did you do?
Someone once make the wrong
change in your favour
and you didn't
correct 'em?
You tell your girlfriend you
like her hairdo when you didn't?
Are you
insulting me?
You made a left turn
onto Slocum?
Uh, that's right.
With the light or after
the light had changed?
With the light.
There's no traffic
light on that corner.
It's a stop sign.
Yes, well, under
the circumstances,
a person
could forget that.
Well, how'd you happen to
remember the licence plate,
Mrs Masters?
I mean, you had to make
visual note of that before
you saw anything unusual.
I just...
It stuck in my mind.
Uh, 2-8-9. Because that
was my street address
when I was a child.
2-8-9 Cedar Avenue.
They can check that,
so it better be true.
Is it true?
No.
Sol... I...
Instead I could say...
Well, what should I say?
You seem real
flustered, ma'am.
Are you flustered?
I...
You saw a man
bound and gagged and thrown
from the back of a truck.
I mean,
what did you do?
Did you stop
the car and get out?
No.
You just drove off?
Yes. Ah, to a police
station, I'm assuming.
No.
You saw someone
commit a crime,
a despicable act,
and you didn't drive
straight to the
authorities to report it?
Well, I am
doing that now.
lam... I am here now.
The defence will eat you
for lunch, Mrs Masters,
and pick you
out their teeth.
You'll do us more
harm than good.
It ain't worth it.
Well, then, why did that
lawyer, Mr Gabler, ask me?
Because he doesn't
know you.
Oh, and you do?
So I'm not a good liar, as if that
is something to be ashamed of.
So I don't have a criminal
record like some people.
You know, when I was,
uh, 17,
I threw a brick through
a plate glass window
of a service station
and stole a set of tyres,
just 'cause they was
fine and I wanted 'em.
Now, it was stupid.
You know, I was a stupid kid,
but I wanted something I couldn't get
any other way than by taking it.
Now I don't want things that
don't belong to me any more,
but the things that do,
the things that I'm entitled to
that someone says I can't have...
Oh, I'm gon' get them
anyway I can.
You came to me.
You asked for my help,
and I am here and I am
willing to give it to you.
And now
you don't want it?
Now it's not...
It's not good
enough for you?
I'm not good
enough for you?
You're a careful woman,
Mrs Masters.
And I'm guessing
you came to a complete stop
at that stop sign,
you looked both ways,
you signalled,
you drove on,
hell, you didn't
get out of the car.
Now we need a different kind of
person on that witness stand.
Now it was real good
of you to wanna help,
and we thank you
kindly for your offer,
but we'll make do
without it.
You just go on
home, ma'am.
I'm embarrassed.
Don't be.
You were both
very patient.
I'm sorry that
I made it so difficult.
I'm doing the
right thing, aren't I,
by trying
to fix myself?
I know it's unfair
of me to ask you,
because what are
you supposed to say?
Thank you.
I think that
we can help you.
We're going to
try our very best.
I wanna believe you. I...
I have trouble
trusting people.
Of course you do.
People have let you down,
taken advantage of you.
People close to you.
Maybe even the person
closest to you.
My brother, you mean?
What would you say
to him if you could?
Well, we still talk.
Not about what happened.
But he lives
in Chesterfield.
He just got divorced...
Again.
Again, again,
it's third time.
What would you...
What would you have
wanted to say to him
when you were
that little girl,
but you couldn't because
you were too afraid?
Like what?
Like...
"Stop."
Did you ever
tell him to stop?
I don't know.
I... I must have, right?
Well, what
if you were...
What if you were to say it now?
Out loud?
Tell him now but say it
as your 12-year-old self.
Stop.
Like that?
Certainly not acting...
Adorable.
He just tucked himself
right under my arm.
I can tell he was dropping
off, sol skipped ahead a bit.
Oh, Johnny will never let
you get away with that.
Did he make
you go back?
And then insisted on turning
the rest of the pages himself.
Did Bill want a boy?
Um... Just a healthy
baby, he said.
Frank says that, too,
but I know he wants one.
The giveaway is when
you see your husband
with your
friends' kids, isn't it?
How he jokes with the boys,
but doesn't quite know
what to say to the girls?
Yes, I suppose.
I'm glad they're going
together tonight.
It was important to Frank
that he introduce
Bill to his crowd.
Well, he may find that his brother can
be a little on the taciturn side.
Oh, that's
perfectly okay.
Really, no one there expects
him to say a thing.
Why would that be?
Rarely have we
seen a person fail
who has thoroughly
followed our path.
Those who do not
recover are people
who are not completely
willing to give...
You said we
were meeting friends of yours.
And here they are...
Total strangers, most of whom know
me better than I know myself.
It's my birthday, Bill.
I want you here
to celebrate it.
It's your birthday in March.
My sober birthday.
They're gonna give me a chip
and let me tell my story.
I want you to hear it.
...but many of
them do recover.
They have the
capacity to be honest
You must be Lester.
Come on in.
It's very nice
to meet you, Miss...
Kitty.
Miss Kitty,
like on Gunsmoke.
The proprietress of the Long
Branch Saloon in Dodge City?
Although everyone
knew Miss Kitty
wasn't really a barkeep as
much as she was a prost...
It's okay.
You just relax.
We're gonna have
a good time tonight.
Nothing is going to happen
that you don't want to happen.
What if I don't want
anything to happen?
Now why would
you say that?
Don't you think
I'm pretty?
Pretty? Oh, yeah.
Yes, you're very pretty.
My sister has
your hair colour.
Okay, see, now that's not a
great road to go down, Lester.
Why don't we just try having
a normal conversation?
Maybe we could start by you
telling me what you like?
The French New Wave.
About me.
Um, that's a very
lovely blouse.
Oh, thank you.
Well, it's very silky.
Do you wanna feel
how silky it is?
I can tell from here.
To be honest, it's a
little constricting,
a little tight
around the bust area.
Wow, um, I should tell you my
heart's beating very fast.
Oh, may I take that
as a compliment?
I think it's paroxysmal
supraventricular tachycardia.
It's what killed my father.
Very recently.
I'm so sorry.
Now, Lester, what's the worst
thing that could happen here?
I could drop dead.
Well, let's pretend
like I'm a doctor.
A cardiologist?
Okay, a cardiologist.
You'd trust a cardiologist,
wouldn't you?
Depends on where he
went to medical school.
Well, I went to the
best medical school in the world.
And I studied more things
than just the heart.
But ultimately, you'd have
to pick a speciality.
Oh, it was
very difficult
Because it turns out...
I'm good at everything.
Patients can lie down
on my exam table
and I can diagnose
their problems.
And I use my magic
touch to heal them.
Doesn't that make medical
school superfluous?
I instinctively know
where to press,
where to squeeze,
where to stroke,
and where to lick.
Won't you let me
show you, Lester,
how I can bring
men back to life?
Congratulations, Frank.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Hi. I'm
Frank, and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Frank.
I'm very grateful
to be here tonight.
Been practising
that move since I was eight.
Disappearing acts have
always been my speciality.
Not just coins or cards.
I had this trick
when I was a kid,
I could make
myself disappear,
I could sense trouble
coming with just
from the way my dad
came through the door.
Shazam! I was out the door
and down the street
telling
Mrs Magavern jokes,
helping water her tomato
plants so she'd invite me
to have supper
with her family
before anyone at my house
had even missed me.
After a while,
I decided to up the ante.
You know, teach
myself to disappear
without ever
going anywhere.
I could be sitting at the
dinner table and my dad
would be telling me what
he thought about me...
Taking tap dancing lessons
or any extra helpings.
Getting a "B" in biology.
"Your brother
never got a
And, uh, presto,
I was gone.
Some tricks get easier
the more you practise.
This one got harder, took
more and more effort, uh,
to make it look simple.
After a while, I needed
a fearless assistant
to help me pull it off.
And I found
lots of them...
Brandy.
Sherry.
Scotch.
Bourbon.
Gin.
I always thought
I was just born
with this natural gift.
It wasn't until
I quit drinking,
until my sobriety
allowed me this, uh,
magnificent
clarity that
I realised
I'd had a teacher
all along,
my dad.
The greatest magician
of all time.
He could make things vanish.
Like that.
His approval.
My mother's smile.
The fun of a baseball game
you'd been waiting for
all summer.
I'd do one thing
to disappoint him,
blow a line at the
Christmas pageant
strike out with the
bases loaded, and,uh,
and, uh, afterwards, he
wouldn't let me get in the car.
He'd make me walk home,
once in, uh,
once in a heat wave,
once in a snowstorm.
I watch his car
pull away,
I'd see him
gel smaller and smaller
as he drove into
the distance until, poof!
He was gone.
Without saying a word,
just by his example,
he taught both of his
boys how to vanish.
Didn't he, Bill?
Ta-da.
I'm not sure
what you mean.
"What else?"
That was good.
That finding your
voice exercise,
I think that
really helped.
So I was hoping you had
another suggestion.
I see. So you're
done with that part?
Well, I imagined
what I would've liked
to have said
to my brother.
You said to do that. I did it.
So what do I do now?
You seem very intent on
moving through this process
as quickly as possible,
Barbara.
Well, do you blame me
for that?
For wanting
a little peace of mind?
That's why I'm here,
after all.
You're asking
"if I blame you."
I meant, I know that you
don't blame, it's a...
It's a figure of speech.
It's familiar to you,
though, isn't it?
To feel blamed?
Judged?
Misunderstood?
You felt that from
your mother, you said.
And your, um...
I'm sorry,
your fiancé?
Gil.
Yes. Who else?
Mmm. No one, really.
Have you ever
withheld some truth
about yourself
because you feared
someone's judgement?
There, there was someone
that I was close to,
my boss, actually.
She died a few years back.
I was afraid of her finding
out something that I'd done,
which, she did,
by accident.
I was, I was seeing
a married man.
And how did your friend
react to that?
She,
let me have it.
But the situation was,
it wasn't entirely as she
understood it to be.
Lillian, uh, Lillian saw
things in black and white
and this relationship...
There was a lot of grey area
in, in that relationship.
So she judged you more harshly
than you felt you deserved.
Yes.
And yet you say, you
anticipated her judgement.
So clearly you had a sense of
what her objections would be.
Well...
Of course. Yeah,
I, he was married.
And that bothered
your friend?
And not you?
I never saw myself as a
threat to the man's wife.
Because? Because I never
wanted to marry him.
So that was the only way
you posed a threat if, uh,
you wanted this woman's
husband for yourself?
Yes.
So why did it end?
I'm sorry?
Well, if you weren't concerned
about this man's wife,
what caused the
relationship to end?
Gil.
I met Gil.
Leona'd take ages
to get ready.
So Frank and I'd wind up
sitting in the living room
waiting for her
to make an entrance,
and in the meantime, he'd
be trying to make me laugh,
doing all these
crazy routines,
most of which he just
stole off the TV.
One day he knocked on the door
and my sister answered it,
all smiles and batted
eyelashes, "Oh, Francis."
And he said,
"Actually, Leona,
"I'm here for Pauline."
So how about you
and Bill?
Oh, um, uh,
I was working
as a medical secretary.
Uh-huh...
Uh, we, we didn't get
married right away,
but only because he was so
busy with his practise.
Uh, we fell
in love very quickly.
He was, um,
he was so charming.
I know. The Masters charm.
I, for one,
was blinded by it.
It's probably
what prevented me
from seeing the signs
for so long.
Signs of...
Frank's drinking?
It's embarrassing
what I missed, really.
Things I just chalked up to
his having a big personality.
But, God,
the mood swings,
the impulsivity...
A new car, a new house,
a new medical partnership.
He got sloppy
toward the end, though,
couldn't keep
his story straight,
the lies...
Where he'd been
all night,
why he couldn't
make love,
and then, of course, there was the
visit to the ER where he almost died.
And I said, "It's
the bottle or me.
"Pick."
You really think you
would've walked away?
You would've done the same
thing in my position, Libby.
No one expected me to
draw the line, honestly,
I think most people considered
me as a bit of a ninny.
I'm sure that's not true. I was!
You wouldn't recognise
the person I was before.
I was the
go-along gal,
the laugh you could
always count on.
I didn't wanna make waves,
didn't ever wanna upset anyone.
Mmm, I tell ya, it felt
good to do something
no one thought
I was capable of.
He thought I saved his
life, but really,
I was saving my own.
So, Dr Masters does
not want to go
up in size today.
We're just going to see
if the insertion itself
is less painful,
and if you can tolerate the
same dilation for longer.
So how was
the soreness after?
I went home and took a
warm bath like you said.
And you took
the pain pill?
I followed all
your instructions.
Good.
That's good.
Including talking to Paul.
I, saying those
things to him.
Wait, uh, do you mean you
spoke to him in your head?
Or in person?
We met.
No, I meant...
The suggestion was that
you, you think about
what you would have liked
to have said back then.
You, you said
to talk to him, so...
No, the idea was to
imagine the conversation.
Well, I did not
have to imagine one
because he lives 20 miles
away, and we met for dinner
like we do
sometimes anyway.
And?
"Remember when?"
I said...
"Do you remember
that time when we..."
I could've said, "Went
sledding on Bergen Hill."
For all it upset him.
Did he deny it?
No.
No.
Not at all.
But he remembered
it different.
He said that
it was my idea.
That's absurd, Barb.
Of course he's
going to say that
No, no, no, it, no, it,
it wasn't like that.
He didn't accuse me.
He just...
He reminded me.
I forgot that there
were these triplets
that moved in
across the street from us
that summer.
And every morning he wanted
to go off with them.
And I wanted him
to stay home,
play with me.
Just with me.
And so...
I invented this game
to keep him interested.
And it worked.
You don't know that
that's what happened.
It makes sense,
Virginia.
If he had violated me,
how could we be so close?
How could I want
to see him be happy?
Barb, these things
are complicated.
I'm just learning myself
how complicated.
I want to remember
this is his fault
because I wanna be
absolved of responsibility
for how my life
has turned out.
Being alone.
For not being able
to love someone
in a way that is not
shameful and dirty.
What if it's
my fault, Virginia?
What if I did this
to myself?
You know in
Sunset Boulevard
how William Holden's dead
floating in the pool
and telling the story
at the same time?
That was me.
Splayed on the bed,
hovering above it all
at the same time,
victim and narrator.
Come on, now. Isn't that
a little overstated?
I'm telling you, I was completely
disassociated from my body.
In my head, looking down
at myself thinking,
"What's going on down there?
What is she doing?
"Where's she
touching me?
"Has this woman ever
pulled taffy for a living?"
What was she
doing exactly?
Was it all manual stimulation
or oral as well?
Why are you writing
any of this down?
Nothing happened,
all right?
I flopped. Literally.
Even if you didn't achieve
an erection, Lester,
it's still of
clinical value.
You know, it allows us
to rule out techniques
that weren't effective
this time but next time
you'll be open to other techniques.
Oh, no, no, no.
There's not gonna be a next time.
Lester.
Can't you find another
guy in my situation
to be your guinea pig? You
say we're everywhere, right?
I want you to stay
with this, Lester.
I can't.
The single variable thing
may work for the study
but not for me.
For me, I need
just two people
figuring it out together.
Not an expert
and a novice.
Just a man and a woman
equally matched
even if they both happen
to be inept.
That'd be tantamount to the
blind leading the blind.
Not if they're
already a couple.
If they know
each other's bodies,
have feelings
for each other.
So many subjects have
come through your door.
Don't you know a couple
like that?
Gini.
Lib.
What are you doing here?
Oh, well, I'm...
Can I get a refill,
please?
May I join you
for a second?
Oh, I'm sorry, Lib, I really
should head back upstairs.
I won't take up much of
your time, okay, just...
Well, I'm stalling,
really.
I'm trying to
screw up my courage.
Uh, to do what?
Can I tell you after I
know how it turns out?
In case I chicken out?
Of course.
Now, I really
should get going.
Let's just say that
I could use some of
what you have
in abundance...
Nerve.
Really, Gin, I keep thinking
about when you first started
working with Bill
at Maternity.
How you just, walked into his
office without any experience
and yet you demanded
to be taken seriously.
What made you think that you
could do that? It was...
It was not courage,
if that's what
you're thinking.
What was it then?
False sense
of entitlement, maybe?
Recklessness?
Stupidity?
Come on.
Libby, I...
I don't read instructions,
I just
take things out of
the box and I plug them in.
To hell with
consequences.
To hell with the blown fuses.
The fingers almost lost
in the spinning blade.
That's ridiculous.
I look at you and...
You're one of the bravest
people that I know.
You just see what
you want and you,
you go and get it.
Don't do that, please.
I mean it.
Don't, uh,
don't hold me up as an
example of anything.
Now, I really need to get upstairs.
We have patients.
Of course, you go.
Uh, we have your
wife scheduled
for a capping
this afternoon.
Did I get the
time wrong?
She'll be here. Uh, I was hoping
to have a private word with Bill.
Oh, Dr Masters, Dr Mason
is here to see ya.
I'm sorry, did you say
“Mason?” Yeah, that's right.
In my office,
please, Frank.
- My name's not...
- My office.
Is there anything you'd like to
say to me about last night, Bill?
You're hoping
for an apology?
You don't think your abrupt
departure calls for one?
Oh, it seemed
an appropriate response
to a bait-and-switch.
You were hardly introducing
me to some friends.
I was reintroducing
myself, to you.
I needed
their support.
It's in rooms like that I found
the courage to tell the truth.
My truth.
Well, which is it?
The truth or your truth?
Maybe if you stayed
and listened...
I already knew
the whole story.
The sadistic father,
always teaching his son
a lesson in humiliation.
The kid who left home
to become a doctor
to make a career out
of saving lives,
having barely been able
to save his own.
I knew it because
it's my story, Francis.
And maybe AA's allowed you
to appropriate my experience
as justification
for your overindulgence.
What? Or maybe you truly
are deluded, you know?
All that alcohol has played
tricks on your mind.
Now just a minute...
I fumbled a 4th down
33-yard pass
at the 8-yard line.
That was me he pulled
out of the car,
me he made walk home
in the rain,
me his tyre splattered
with mud
as he pulled out
of the parking lot,
me who knew there was a
beating waiting for me
when I got back home.
And you were in the
backseat, little brother,
watching me through
the rear window.
You saw it
happen to me.
What makes you think
the same thing
didn't happen to me
after you were gone?
That I was
your replacement?
Because if I thought
that was possible, I...
I never would've
left you behind.
No, you, you were the
apple of his eye.
He'd show you off
in front of company,
make you perform. For Christ's
sake, he gave you his name.
What father skips over
his firstborn
to give his second son
his name?
A son of a bitch,
that's who.
That's what he was
to both of us.
You tunnelled
under the wall.
I went over it.
We both escaped!
Look, whatever you need to
believe to keep yourself
on the straight
and narrow.
I'm healed, Bill.
That's what
the truth does.
You just have to be
brave enough to face it.
Oh, I see. I see.
So the point of dragging
me to that meeting
wasn't really to share insights
about yourself, was it?
Who did you really think you
were in that story, Bill?
Me?
Or him?
Think about it.
No, there's nothing, there's
nothing to think about.
He left you,
and you left me.
I don't blame you
for it.
I did.
But I understand now.
And I forgive you.
We got heat out above
the 8th floor in Pruitt.
That's at least
600 people.
May I help you,
Mrs Masters?
I was coming to ask you
the same thing.
I was wondering
if you could use my help.
You wanna volunteer?
Yes.
What can you do?
I can type.
I can answer phones.
I can stuff envelopes.
We need someone
to make a sandwich run.
What can I get for you?
I'm fine.
Really?
Nothing, huh?
Usually I'm playing
catch up with you.
Does it help?
You to be here
with me?
I don't know
what you mean.
Does drinking
help to relieve
your conscience about
what it is we're doing
here with each other?
About what it is we're...
We are doing to Libby?
Libby?
Where is this all
coming from all of a sudden?
Isn't the question why
hasn't it come up sooner?
I want to know.
What things have we told
ourselves that make it possible
to do what it is we've
done here in this room?
It's not as
if you've told me
that you don't love
your wife
the way a married man
strings along a mistress.
Well, I do love her.
I know.
I love her, too.
She's been a wonderful
friend to me.
I almost wish that there was something
that I could point to, some
terrible thing that
she had done to me
that would justify
what it is
I've done to her.
But...
There's nothing.
What do you tell
yourself, Bill,
that makes
all of this okay?
Jesus, Virginia, what's
the matter with you?
I don't know.
But maybe there is something
wrong with me, with both of us.
I wanna talk about this, Bill.
Why?
What's the point?
What does this endless
self-examination accomplish,
except to make everyone who
engages in it miserable?
The past is past.
You can't change it.
You can poke at it and prod
it, but you cannot change it.
So you move on.
You do your best,
which is what I've done.
I can move ahead
with certainty
that I have never made
a decision
with the intention
of hurting anyone.
Then you're a fool.
You don't think any of
this would hurt Libby?
I don't intend
for her to find out.
I see, so as long
as she remains oblivious...
I weighed what she did not
know against the value
of everything we are
trying to accomplish here!
No, no, we have a greater
purpose, Virginia.
The study...
The study!
It hasn't been about
the study in years, Bill.
When is the last time
we noted a session?
Used a stopwatch?
Added up anything
besides our bar tab?
We cannot pretend
that there is any point
to what
we are doing here
beyond our own
physical pleasure.
What we do
in this room
does not make a damn bit of
difference to anybody but us.
It will.
You can say that, but...
We are not gonna find
the cure for dysfunction in an exam room.
We're not.
We can diagnose
individual conditions,
we can rule out
underlying issues,
but we're not gonna find answers
pairing impotent men with prostitutes,
wives with husbands
whose sexual techniques
have made them frigid.
It's gonna take subjects that
understand sexual response.
Who know
each other's body...
What are you saying?
That this is research that you
and I should undertake here?
That this is important
enough to justify
what it is
we've done to Libby?
You can't treat
a sexual dysfunction
theoretically.
It's practical work.
It is trial and error.
Yes, I'm aware of that.
Then tell me, Bill,
what sexual dysfunction are
you proposing we treat?
Mine.
Ripped By mstoll