Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 2, Episode 4 - Dirty Jobs - full transcript

Previously
on Masters of Sex...

Because I wasn't sure when
I'd be starting at Memorial,

I haven't yet told Lillian.

Greathouse feels it may not be
possible for you to come to Memorial.

Great to see you, Bill.

I hope you're treating
him right, Barbara.

Because he's got a bigger
following than Gunsmoke.

You, my dear, are not
married to a saint.

You are to keep 100 miles
away from that study.

Unofficially,
I'm very interested

in what happens
behind closed doors.



Very, very interested.

Metastasis was
always a possibility.

I know what
to research now.

I'm going to have to
hand the work off

to someone who
can fight the fight.

You're sterile, yet engaging
in fertility treatments?

It's not my problem.

Last I looked, your
job came with all the zeroes

on that cheque
my husband wrote.

Attention
all hospital staff

Dr Austin Langham

has spent the
last two months

fornicating with
his sister-in-law.

Thought he would do the trick.
Having our son.



I know my husband was
reticent about children.

Who ever heard of a grown man
being afraid of his child?

I think you've misunderstood
what happened between us.

Of course we're not
having an affair, Virginia.

We never were.
I'm a happily married man.

Continuing the
work's a good idea,

only if you
understand the terms.

I agree.

Ripped By mstoll

If sex is merely a
vehicle for procreation,

then the
end of fertility

marks the end
of sexual desire.

Yet Freud believed
that menopause

led to an increase
in female libido.

As usual, Dr Freud presents
no empirical evidence

to substantiate
his claim.

He wasn't all wrong, though.
The data does show

certain physiological
changes in women over 50.

A longer period of foreplay
needed for lubrication,

fewer vaginal contractions
in the orgasm phase.

When did you see
all these participants?

Oh, those are
only a small sampling.

So you've
resumed the study.

Yes, of course.
Without me.

I did everything
I could, Virginia.

The board just wasn't impressed
by your application.

I don't understand.

Well, try to see it
from their perspective.

Limited experience,
no higher education...

I tried to
go back to school...

You tried, but didn't see it through.
You chose me instead.

I chose the work.

Virginia, you thought
it was about the work.

I always knew the truth.

That became apparent
on the application, so...

I'm sorry, but you really
only have yourself to blame.

Because?

For starters?

Under "current
occupation," you wrote

"mistress."

You're up.

How long was I...

An hour maybe.
An hour?

Why didn't you
wake me?

You looked like you
needed the sleep.

Did you know you sleep
with your mouth open,

like a baby bird?

We don't sleep here.
Or read.

This isn't a vacation.

I told the sitter I'd
be home by 10:00.

It's only 9:15. We...

Please get dressed.

You need to get the study
files out of my trunk.

Oh, goodbye, Silky.

And don't wait for me to write
another story about you.

Drop in any time.

Goodbye,
Mr Thompson.

Ain't you going to
escort me to the door?

Mr Thompson, my
wife didn't mean anything.

We've been
married for 25 years.

You're not
going to shoot me.

Why should I?

If you want to get out
of it, shoot yourself.

It's a mess,
but it's all there.

Intake forms, instrument
readings, sexual histories.

Oh, I could've used these
the other day.

Barbara tried to make fliers for the study.
Riddled with typos.

Any response yet?

Well, the phone hasn't
stopped still ringing.

I have seven interviews with
prospective participants tomorrow,

six the next day...

I meant any response
from Greathouse

about my position
in the study.

Uh...

Why, he can't authorize me to hire
you until the board signs off.

Has he brought
it up to them?

I'm going to
make sure he does.

Pull your car around so that
we can start loading these.

Maybe you should
hold on to them.

Someone has to put them
into some kind of order.

I was under the impression, that
someone was called your secretary.

Oh, Barbara can
barely alphabetize.

Besides, you know better than anyone
how all the pieces fit together.

I want you to stay
connected to the work.

So I'm not qualified
as a researcher,

but it's fine for me to play
secretary in my free time?

Virginia, I'm as unhappy with
the situation as you are.

Are you taking
diet pills?

I'm selling them.

Holding on to
them for a friend?

No. I am selling them.

Without extra money
from the study,

I can barely afford
to pay my rent.

I need to make
a living, Bill.

This morning,
we're driving in,

and the parking
attendant says,

“Morning, Mrs Moretti,"

and it takes me a solid minute
to realise he meant me.

Your whole life you're walking
around as Betty DiMello,

the next day,
you're married,

and someone's calling you
some other lady's name.

It's like if,
all of a sudden,

I started calling
you Dr Lipschitz.

Mrs Moretti.

It makes me feel like I'm
pretending to be somebody I'm not.

Know what I mean?

They had a free subscription
offer, so I figured, why not?

Then I stumbled
upon this article.

Turns out a new baby
is traumatic for a man.

Like his home has been transformed
into an oversized playpen.

It's messy, it's noisy,
there are smells.

Which explains why the moment
Bill walks in through the door,

the first thing he does
is take out the diaper pail.

It also explains why Bill needs
to feel things are calm at home.

Orderly.

Unchanged.

No bottles on the counters. No
pacifiers stuck between cushions.

It's also why today
is important.

I mean, I know, it seems
like a silly luncheon,

but they're the wives of
Bill's new colleagues.

If things go well here,

they report as much
back to their husbands,

and that helps Bill at work,
as well as at home.

Is that
a Dixie Cup on his...

It's a trick I learned
changing my brothers' diapers.

You lose your eyes if you
aren't careful with boys.

Maybe I should've asked
before I put it on.

"Asked" me
before you put it on.

We talked about this
before, remember?

Don't worry.
You'll get it.

We should have
a sample Pap smear kit

for Dr Papanicolaou
to bring to Florida with him.

I put one together
last week.

Several sample kits.

At least three or four.
Even to be safe.

Four seems reasonable,
don't you think?

He's only in St Louis once
a year for the conference.

Does he prefer
coffee or tea?

Tea.

With cream and a little...
With the little...

The little squares
of sugar.

Sugar cubes.

You’re just nervous
about tomorrow.

They did name the Pap smear after
Dr Papanicolaou after all.

It makes sense you'd
want to impress him.

I'm not trying
to impress anyone.

Dr Papanicolaou happens
to be a respected

figure in the field,
that's all.

His support for our programme
would be enormously useful.

Especially to you. As you
continue with our work.

DePaul?

Lillian?

Save my seat.

How long have
you worked here?

Three years in March.

I'm over at Maternity.

Oh, my girlfriend Peg used to worked there.
How do you like it?

Truthfully, the stress of
working in a hospital?

Some days, I want to curl up
with a piece of chocolate cake.

I know what you mean.

We're supposed to give these
to patients for nausea.

I can imagine it's tough.

Being surrounded by so
much suffering every day.

Especially when
everyone's so skinny.

I did try
the Grapefruit Diet.

All it did was
give me cavities.

That is the problem
with fad diets.

They promise
the moon and stars,

but you end up
hungry all the time.

That's why I started
using Cal-O-Metric.

We'll be following
the exact same protocol

as in the study
at Washington University.

What would
I tell my husband?

What did you tell him before?

That there were two doctors,
one of them was a lady.

That's the only reason
he let me do it, Dr Masters.

I'm sorry, but if it's just
going to be you here, alone.

Watching.
I'm sorry.

Part of the study?
Not any more.

Oh, shame.
Yes.

Without Mrs Johnson,
we can look forward

to more qualified volunteers
declining to participate.

Mrs Johnson is instrumental
in this part of the process.

No one else puts people
at their ease...

Bill, I get it.

You and I have been
at this a longtime.

You reach a point
in your career,

same routine day
in and day out,

if you never see another
torn perineum again,

it'll be too soon.

So you start a sex study,
get a research assistant

Mrs Johnson is indispensable
to this study...

She may seem indispensable
to you, but to the board?

She's an
overpriced secretary.

Things aren't always
what they seem.

For instance, Barbara
doesn't seem to know

the first thing about
secretarial work.

And yet, apparently,
she's essential.

To you.

I'm simply asking Mrs Johnson
be brought onto this study

because she is essential.

To the work.

I'll float the idea at
tomorrow's board meeting,

see what they think.

What?

They're out of ambrosia?

You know, last year
when you left the study,

I thought to myself, "Why?

"Why would Virginia
leave the work she loves

"to go back to
typing memos?"

And not to mention, "Why
would Bill let her go?"

What are you
talking about, Austin?

Now I'm thinking, "What
complicates every relationship?

"What splits
two people up?"

Um, Elise is now staying at her
mother's across the river. In Alton.

When it's my turn with the
kids, I drive to Alton,

where I pick them up,
then take them

to the Chancery
Park Plaza Hotel.

I saw you
there last night.

With Bill.

You should have
said something.

We could have
all gotten a drink.

Bill and I have decided to go
ahead and publish the study.

Now, it's still in
the early stages.

Compiling the data,
drafting the text.

Bill's not welcome
here, obviously.

I'm not welcome
at his hospital.

We can't work late hours at
his house with the new baby,

and we can't
discuss sex research

at my house,
with my kids there.

So we work
out of the hotel.

Then why did you two
stop working together?

Bill thought we were ready
lo present to the faculty.

And I said we had
not done enough

to prepare them for what
they were about to hear,

let alone the sight of a pulsating
vagina on a projection screen.

We had a terrible fight,
and in the end, I quit.

And after the debacle
of the presentation,

Bill admitted
that he was wrong,

and he apologised, and he
asked me to come back.

So that's it?

Yes, that's it.

And we took
the children to see

The Music Man with Robert Preston.

Oh, I hear
that is fabulous.

It's fabulous.

Oh, I couldn't drag Bill
to a Broadway musical.

He'd probably bring a
journal on uterine fibroids

to read during the slow parts.

How does he like
the new hospital?

Oh, he couldn't
be happier.

And that study of his?
ls that still happening, too?

I bet you know
all the secrets.

Libby, do tell us
the most delicious thing

you've learned from
all his experiments.

Uh, well, I actually
worked on the study

myself for a bit,
in his office.

Where I got to see, first-hand,
just how boring it all is.

The charts and the graphs, and
the incomprehensible diagram.

Someone had
a nice, long nap.

Oh, my goodness, has that adorable
creature been here this whole time?

He is gorgeous, Libby.

And she is so
wonderful with him.

Can I hold?
Mmm-hmm.

Where did you learn to be
so great with children?

You're so young.

Oh, well, my momma
passed when I was 10.

I had to bring up
my brothers and sisters.

But even before that, I had
baby cousins in Joplin...

She doesn't want your family history.
She was being polite.

She asked.

Either I'm losing
my mind or his hair...

ls there something
crawling in it?

All my sales
reports are there.

I sold over $40 worth
of products this week.

Which is almost double
what I did the week before.

Hmm, be still my heart.

I did all of that without using
your sales script, by the way.

No wonder
your numbers stink.

I don't...

lam don't feel comfortable
reading from a script

that deliberately makes women
feel bad about themselves.

Yet women who feel
great about themselves

don't buy diet products.

Which leaves us
with a conundrum.

Listen, if you really
want to get good at this...

I don't. I don't want
to get good at this.

Selling diet pills may be
enough for most housewives

that walk through your door,
I already have a career.

Oh, you're
following your dreams.

Yes. At the moment, I need
something to supplement my income.

Have you ever heard
of William Elvis Sloan?

He invented Cal-O-Metric?

He came up with how to
make a toilet flush.

Was that his calling?

Did he wake up every morning, tickled
pink and skipping off to work?

Probably not. But he
died a very rich man.

So, sure.
"Follow your dreams."

It's a lovely
slogan for a life

most people can't
afford to live.

But who knows?

Maybe you're special.

I asked for the check.
I assumed you weren't coming.

I had to turn in
my sales report.

Of course. Wouldn't want our work
to interfere with your diet pills.

Austin saw us last night
leaving our room together.

Apparently, his wife is staying
with her mother, in Alton

so when he takes the kids
he stays at this hotel.

Jesus.

It's not a problem.
I handled it.

Says who?

If someone like Austin can walk
through here, that means anyone can.

Luckily, there's nothing
strange about two colleagues

having a drink
in a hotel lobby.

Virginia,
lam a married man.

You do understand what it would
mean if this were to get out?

I do.

Which means it'd
probably be imprudent

for us to
head upstairs.

Wouldn't it?

It's a mess, I know.

I wasn't expecting
you home until late.

I hope you ate something. I
haven't made a thing for dinner.

Everything's fine.

We found lice
in Johnny's hair.

But I got a book
from the library.

And we just need to wash everything,
all the fabric in the house.

It shouldn't be a problem.

Baby's crying-

I know the
baby's crying.

The baby's been
crying all day.

I can't get the baby
to stop crying.

I'm sorry.

You have enough
to worry about,

now the girl
brings in lice.

Coral'?
Who else?

I've never had lice.

You've never had lice.
No one we know has had lice.

You don't need to wash
everything, Libby.

Just the baby's clothes
and his blankets.

Tomorrow, scrub his hair with medicated
shampoo they sell at the super market.

These are just a few
harmless insects.

They'll be gone
in a day or two.

See?

It's so much nicer when we can
sort these things out together.

I'll take out
the diaper pail.

The initial aim
of the programme

is to expand access
to early screening

through a systematic outreach
effort to physicians and to...

To...
Hospitals.

And eventually,
we hope to establish

a research facility at
Washington University

to develop new
methods of detection,

treatment
of cervical cancer.

But that's still years
in the future.

lam creating a research centre of
my own at the University of Miami.

Are you really?
How very interesting.

This is the prototype for the
testing kit we'll be sending out.

We've included
a skort frim slip.

Pardon?
A skort frim slip.

There's a short
film strip.

Yes. It is short.

Do you have any questions?

Hey, Doc.

Do you time it so we arrive at
the same time every morning,

or is it just the heavens
conspiring against me?

Actually, we wait till
we see your car pull in.

'Morning.

Gene came
to give a donation.

Well, you've been more
than generous already.

Not that kind
of donation.

Um, poor Gene's getting antsy with
all this testing we're doing.

He's been asking when
we're gonna move on.

Move on to...

Betts says you're
good on her end.

You just need a sample of my
swimmers, pardon my French.

Ready, Moretti?
Yeah.

Good morning,
Dr Masters.

Betty, I think it
best if you wait...

Don't worry, I can
take care of this.

If I could have a...

You know
your way around.

I'm very observant.

I really must insist...

All right, reading
material. Here.

You have a thing
for Ava Gardner.

Dr Masters, could I...

Don't have
too much fun.

Could I just...

Barbara, what is it?

Dr Greathouse wants to know what
time tonight's study is starting.

He would like to be there.

7:00.

Make sure he knows this evening's
area of focus, please.

Yes.

We'll be looking at men
with enlarged prostates.

Primarily elderly men.

Engaged in
auto manipulation.

Auto... I'm sorry.

Old men masturbating.

You're gonna say...
In my office.

Mmm-hmm.

I'm almost done here.

Maybe I can take
the baby now?

Actually, there's something I'd
like to speak to you about.

I need you to
use this tonight.

What is it'?

It's a special shampoo.

It gets rid of
anything that's...

The eggs or, um...

Everyone that you live with,
your family, should use it too.

I don't have lice, Mrs Masters.
They didn't come from me.

I never said
that they did.

All you have to do
is look in there

and tell him
he's got bum sperm.

This I would divine by
somehow staring into a cup?

Put it under
a magnifying glass.

Shame you didn't pursue medicine,
you have the head for it.

He won't know
the difference.

I know.

I will not tell a
patient he's sterile

when I know that the only
reason he can't have children

is because his wife underwent
a tubal ligation...

You want to get all high and mighty?
Fine.

Let's end it now.

You tell him I'm infertile.
Tell him the truth.

You tell him.

Hey.

Sorry to interrupt. I...

I crossed
the finish line.

It's all just...

Well, it's cruel.
Oh.

You're out there in the
john making baby batter,

while in here, the
Doc gets the results

from my very last test and it
turns out I'm the culprit.

I don't even
know what to say.

Nobody does.

Only Betty knows.

You know, your whole
life you think,

"All you gotta do
is find the right fella.

"Getting knocked up,
that's the easy part."

But to find out your body's
just not cut out for it...

Doc.

Is there anything
we can do?

I'm afraid not.

Nothing at all?

Well, it's a real blow.

Uh...

Thank you for trying.

I didn't do
anything. Really.

I think it's
only right that, uh,

you dispose
of this, Betty.

Hey, you okay? 'Cause
I'm not sure I am.

Um, I'm, you know...

Devastated.

Hey, but at least
we still got each other.

Uh, hell, the cashier.
We need lo settle the bill.

No. Dr Masters isn't gonna
charge us for this morning.

We gotta pay for the
fertility tests, treatments.

No, Gene, honey.

Let's just go home and
start the healing process.

Betts, we're here. Let's
just get it over with now.

Your taxi should
be here any minute.

Dr Papanicolaou,
if I may speak frankly.

You chair the committee for
the Williams Prize, correct?

I do.

Well, Dr DePaul
would never say this.

But that kind
of endorsement,

it would be invaluable
to our programme.

Not to mention what it would mean
to Dr DePaul on a personal level.

Coming from you.

Nobody stood
behind this programme.

The administration
was strong-armed

into offering even
a modicum of support

Everything Dr DePaul's
accomplished here,

she's done on her own.

With no help,
no guidance.

I did not expect to be
impressed this morning.

To be honest, I did not
even remember Dr DePaul.

But I am always pleased,
years later,

to hear that a student
considered me their mentor.

I didn't say "mentor."

And neither did
Dr DePaul.

She says she
never had a mentor.

Mentors were reserved
for male students.

You may not have
remembered her.

But I guarantee you,
you will remember her now.

Because what
she has done here,

this programme,
all on her own.

It is remarkable.

Yes. You are
right about that.

Well, then I hope you will
take that into consideration

as you make your selections
for the Williams Prize.

Now, you control
the device yourself.

Speed, intensity, depth...

It's freezing.

My partner usually warms
it with a hot towel.

I'd completely
forgotten.

Well,

the friction between the device
and the vaginal walls should

gradually increase
the temperature.

I thought we were
doing prostates.

Last-minute
scheduling change.

I see you opted for
old and fat instead.

Post-menopausal, actually.

Oh.

Pretend I'm not here.

I'll be invisible.
A fly on the wall.

Thar she blows.

Sorry. No comments
from the peanut gallery, I know.

Have you asked the board
about my assistant?

Yes, I did.

Actually, I spoke to them
at length about Mrs Johnson

just this morning.

They haven't made
a decision yet, obviously,

but they seemed
open to it.

I'm happy to speak to them,
answer any questions...

Steady on, pal.

It's a process.
It takes time.

But trust me,
we'll get there.

Knock, knock.

Noticed you're burning the midnight oil.
Thought I'd say hello.

Hello.

You know what the worst
part of this divorce is?

It's not fighting
with lawyers

or driving half-an-hour
to see your kids.

Or watching your wife of 12 years
tum into some kinda she-wolf.

It's eating potato
chips for dinner.

I keep fantasizing
about Elise's cooking.

Beef stroganoff.

Tuna noodle casserole.

Jiffy com casserole,
cheeseburger casserole.

Are you just going to sit there?
Talking?

Because if so,

I need a drink.

I didn't even know that
water polo was a sport,

let alone that
it was my favourite sport.

Um, I have a stack
of exams to grade.

Give Virginia the answer sheet.
Let her do it.

One more.

To Virginia.

Virginia.

It's funny.

The second I met Virginia,
I thought I had her pegged.

Just another woman
unwilling to do the hard work,

ready to latch on
to the first man

that can take her to
the next rung on the ladder.

Well, then, that proves you're
a good judge of character.

She's closer to
you than anyone.

How long
have you known?

So long.

Very long.

I saw them last night
leaving a hotel.

Virginia, god bless her, tried to
give me some baloney story about,

they're publishing the study,
working out of the hotel.

She used to do this thing every
once in a while, in the lab.

She'd lean in
and fix Bill's bow tie,

just sort of straighten
it out, you know?

There is a fence
around Bill Masters.

Chain link
with barbed wire.

Nobody gets past that.
Nobody gets close.

But Virginia, would just
waltz right through.

I think back now, how could I
miss something so obvious?

How could I not
have known they were

sleeping together
the entire time?

Tatti Greathouse gave me
a recipe for osso buco.

She says it's better than
the one at Bella Rosa.

I may not be home
until after 9:00.

Oh, we could
have a late supper.

Close our eyes,
pretend we're in Florence.

I'll take that.

Good morning, Mrs Masters.
Dr Masters.

Good morning.

Hello, Coral.

I see, um...

Well, I see your hair is the
same as it was yesterday.

Oh, yes, Mrs Masters.
I feel like it suits me.

I'm referring to the
shampoo that I gave you.

Did you use it?

My brother checked.
He didn't find nothing.

"Anything."
He didn't find anything.

It costs me $4 to get my
hair done every week.

I can't afford
to mess it up.

So you didn't
use the shampoo.

Even though you told me, you
promised me, that you would.

Dr Masters, I don't have lice.
I swear I don't.

My brother said
negroes can't even get it.

Coral, this is
between you and me.

Her brother is right.

Negroes do have tightly
coiled, low-density hair,

which makes it very
inhospitable for lice.

I read about it in the
Wellford Journal of Medicine.

So it is unlikely
she would have them.

Unlikely is
not impossible.

I don't see why we need to involve Dr
Masters in this discussion at all.

I'll go get him.

Is everything all right?

I cheated in college.

Calculus.

I could never get my
head around calculus.

No matter how many hours I studied,
I couldn't crack a B plus.

And I was
a straight-A student.

I figured medical schools couldn't
turn away a straight-A student,

even if she
were a woman.

So I bought the final
exam from previous year

from a rather unscrupulous graduate
student named Marvin for $10.

lam impressed.

Lillian DePaul
breaks the rules.

It was a shortcut.
That's all.

Does it negate the
work I've done since?

Does one shortcut diminish
everything that comes after?

So...
So...

That's my secret.
What's yours?

My secret?

I don't have
any secrets.

I don't believe you.

Virginia,

you've seen me
at my worst.

Lying naked on
a hospital sheet,

limping to the car
after radiation.

I've shared nearly
everything with you.

Too much, even.

It seems only right that
you should share with me.

Honestly, Lillian,

I'm not that interesting.

Coral, could you
come here, please?

This relationship
is about trust.

I leave you in my house even' day
with my child and if I can't...

Mrs Masters...

What if something, God
forbid, happened to Johnny?

How do I know
you'd tell me the truth?

How can I trust anything
you say to me any more?

I'm sorry.

I need you to
sit down now, please.

Mrs Masters,
I'll use the shampoo.

No, Coral,
that's the point.

I can't trust you any
more to do it yourself.

If you don't sit down, Coral,
you'll have to leave.

And you won't be
welcome back.

Put your
head back, please.

Is the water warm enough?

We need to be
on the same side.

If you have a problem with
something, you come to me.

Dr Masters is a busy man, and
we don't need to involve him.

He's not a part of this.

You and I,

we need to
stick together, okay?

I hope you can
understand that.

Please. To gel your hair re-done.
It's my treat.

I appreciate you meeting me on such
short notice, Dr Papanicolaou.

I don't have much time.
My plane leaves in one hour.

This won't take long.

I called because
I would like to ask

you to take my
programme with you.

To Miami, to your new
research centre.

I'm sorry if there's been
a misunderstanding, Lillian.

But my staff is
already in place...

No, I'm not asking
you for a job.

After some consideration,

I've come to the conclusion
that this university simply

doesn't have
the proper personnel

to fully realise
the programme.

You understand,
if I were to oversee this,

I would keep you informed of any
major decisions, of course,

but in terms of the
day-to-day management...

Once I give you
the programme,

my role in it
will be finished.

I understand.

Ah, Bill. So?

So what?

So what's on
the menu tonight?

Actually, I was looking
for you, Doug.

Since I haven't had a chance to
apologise yet for last night.

I realised afterward I'd
completely forgotten to warn you.

About the
transference effect

Does transference
involve attractive women?

Yes, it can.
But not necessarily.

Observation
of sexual activity

can produce a kind of
tension in the observers.

The researchers can find
themselves experiencing certain

uninvited
erotic sensations.

Now, this can happen between
a man and a woman.

It can also happen between
a man and another man.

I'm not quite sure
I understand.

I've been doing this
a long time,

so I'm immune to the
transference effect myself.

But I have seen other men
in that small, confined space.

Well...
The danger is high.

And for those male observers
that do get drawn in, well,

they often don't
come out the other side.

At least, not the same
way they went in.

You mean
like in wrestling?

Something like that.

You're nervous.

How can you tell?

Slight generalised vasocongestion
in your face and chest.

Mild fasciculation
in the hands, feet.

You're flushed.
And trembling.

ls that bad?

Honest to God, Bill, this is
better than my bachelor party.

Step outside, Doug.

Sure.

Yes?

This is a scientific study, not
a stag film in a frat house.

Your colleagues are very
interested in your work.

I think you
should appreciate that.

Get them out of here.

I know that Bart Scully treated
you like the Second Coming.

But here, in this hospital,
you are my employee.

You have grossly
misjudged me

if you think I would
allow those baboons

to sit in my exam room, slurping
chop suey, mocking my work.

The terms
of my employment

The terms between you and
me are changing now.

You will clear
my exam room,

and you will never
get near it again.

You will authorize
Mrs Johnson's hiring

starting
tomorrow morning.

Let me tell you how it
works with secretaries.

You don't promote them to lofty
positions above their pay grade,

or give them titles like
"research assistant."

I didn't even mention
your assistant to the board,

and you should
thank me for that.

I'm keeping you
from being perceived

as a man that only
thinks with his cock,

and not
with his head.

As far as
your study goes,

your colleagues
are on your side.

So relax.

Care for one, Bill? They are delicious.
Not that spicy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy.

By the time I'm off the
phone tomorrow morning,

there's not going to be a
single hospital in the Midwest

that's going to let you so much
as step through their doors.

These need to be
mimeographed

and sent to Dr Papanicolaou's
office at Cornell

as soon as possible.

He requested the files
for our programme?

Maybe he wants
to share them with

the committee for
the Williams Prize.

Actually, Dr Papanicolaou will
be bringing the programme

to his new Miami
research centre.

What do you mean?

You'll need to speak to someone
in the audio-visual department

to make duplicates
of the film strip.

You gave him
the programme?

Why didn't you
tell me about this?

I'm telling
you right now.

After you
made your decision?

I don't need to consult you about
the course of my research.

Your research?
We are partners.

I worked like a clog to get
this programme off the ground.

I recommended you
for the Williams Prize.

I didn't ask you
to do that.

I did it anyway.
For you.

Papanicolaou will put
his name on your work.

You won't even be
a footnote.

I didn't go into medicine to see
my name on a study, Virginia.

Loraine?

Virginia Johnson. We met last
summer at the block party.

Of course.

Are you still at Maternity?
I am.

Although, I've recently
transitioned to a new line of work.

I'm the new neighbourhood
ambassador for Cal-O-Metric.

This isn't one of
those fad diets, is it?

My sister tried
the cabbage soup one.

She ended up so bloated we
called her the Hindenburg.

I can assure you, Cal-O-Metric
is not a fad at all.

Our trademarked
nutritional formula

is based on the most
cutting-edge science.

Good luck with it.

Let me ask you
something, Loraine.

When you see yourself in the
mirror, how do you feel?

How do you feel?

I feel great.

Well, you're lucky then. I
don't know many women that do.

I'll tell you who does.

A woman who's confident in
her figure, she feels great.

In fact, a woman
like that feels fantastic.

But a woman
who's not so sure,

who's maybe put on a pound
or two over the years,

who notices the slightest
sag here and there,

wonders why her
husband doesn't

look at her quite
the way he used to,

or even
the checkout boy,

who used to stare openly,

but now just looks past her
like she's not even there.

A woman like that, she doesn't
feel fantastic at all.

This could be the start
of a brand new you.

I know it was for me.

Bill.

I need to talk to you.

I hate to
tell you guys this,

but your Kid's got a bad case
of the cutes.

Dr Langham
decided to drop by.

Isn't that nice?

I'm in major need
of advice, Bill.

I've got this new patient.

Real head-scratcher.
Right up your alley.

The skeletal system is
not exactly my area...

Libby also
invited me to dinner.

She said the two magic words.
Veal and shanks.

How could I resist?

Plus, I picked up a few
Montecristos this weekend.

Care to join me outside?

I don't smoke.

Why don't you join me, Bill?

You wanna go see Mommy? I know.

I did try to make the
Heavenly Ham Loaf first.

It was a Betty Cracker
recipe and everything.

Oh, who, by the way, is a phoney.
Did you know that?

Betty Crocker is
some advertising idea,

dreamed up by some suit
sitting in a fancy boardroom,

not a real person at all.

It was a woman.

A woman came up
with Betty Crocker.

Well, you would know,
being in the food business.

And I guess you would be
the expert on phoney Bettys.

Okay.

I deserve that.

But just so you know,
I'm not going anywhere.

So when you're done extracting
your pound of flesh, I'll be here.

You knew you
couldn't have kids.

You knew.

Before we married.
Before we met.

Why didn't you
just tell me?

You never would have married
me if you knew the truth.

You know that?

I know what you saw
when you first met me

a good Christian girl
at church,

who'd have
good Christian babies.

I didn't meet you at church.
Of course you did.

Remember? It was the
Palm Sunday potluck.

And I bumped into you. your coleslaw
fell into my pocket book...

It was before that.

I've always been
shy with girls.

Always had
trouble talking to them.

So, I thought, you know,

I'd go to a...

Go to a brothel,

maybe there
I could learn.

You know?

I'd never met a girl
who was nice to me like that.

And I didn't
want to leave.

I was so scared that I'd
never see you again.

When I walked into
church that morning,

and you were
standing right there,

I knew we were
meant to be.

I never thought you were
a good Christian girl.

I just thought you were
the love of my life.

I will admit.
It's an acquired taste.

I've always liked
the way it looks.

Gives me sort of
a Hemingway air, I think.

So what advice
can I give you?

Actually, there's some
advice I'd like lo give you.

Do you know why
I married Elise?

I thought
it would cure me.

No more wandering eye or
chasing ass like a teenager.

It would be like magic.

As soon as I put the ring
on my finger, abracadabra,

all that stuff
would disappear,

well, it would
just be me and her.

I screwed a dental hygienist
named Gerty three months later.

Hated myself for it, too.

Then, I spent the next 12 years

hating myself
over and over again.

Most people get burned and
don't touch the stove again.

So what the hell's wrong with me
that I can't stop touching it?

You don't know how many
times I've asked myself,

"Why can't you
just be more like Bill?"

And then the other night

at the hotel,
I realised, I've been

punishing myself
for no reason.

You and me,
we're the same.

Two men trying our best.

I'm no better or worse
than Bill Masters.

I thought Virginia explained, we're
starting up the study again.

Come on, Bill. Look who
you're talking to here.

I don't know what
you mean by that

Just don't do
it the way I did.

You've got to keep this
thing under wraps.

L'm not the only one
who knows.

Lillian DePaul has been wise
to it from the beginning.

And take it from me,

this bachelor life isn't
all it's cracked up to be.

Don't get me wrong.

There are
some days when it feels like,

literally, I've died
and gone to heaven.

Literally.

But I can't walk by
the nursery any more.

Because when I do see
those little bundles,

all I can think is how much
I want to see my kids.

All I'm saying is,

whatever this is
you have with Virginia,

you've got to weigh it
against all of this.

Is it worth it'?

Tatti Greathouse
just called.

She told me the most
outlandish story.

She said that
you were fired,

that you assaulted
her husband.

I did lose
my temper, Libby.

But you would've, too. The
man is an utter philistine.

Why do I have to hear everything
about my husband thirdhand?

I was going to tell you,
but Austin was here.

This is the second job
in two months, Bill.

Soon there won't be a hospital
left for you to storm out of.

Lib... Why are you
doing this to me?

Is this our life now'?

You going from
one job to another,

always finding some reason
why it's not good enough?

It's not about good enough.
It's about...

Your study?

They didn't
understand your study?

They didn't understand it
at Maternity either.

That doesn't mean
things won't work out.

They will.
Everything will be fine.

When, Bill? When, exactly,
will everything be fine?

How many more opportunities
do you have to squander

before you make this work?

You have a wife and a
child who depend on you.

Doesn't that mean anything?

Yes. Yes, of course.

That's all I think about.

How to do right by you,

the baby.

You just have to
trust me right now.

Okay.

I am going to take care of you.
Whatever happens.

I will always
take care of you.

You just have
to believe that.

- Please, Libby.
- I just...

I need...
All right. All right.

You'll find
the right job.

We'll be okay.

Everything will be okay.

What's six plus
four equal?

Ten.

What's six plus 12'?

Your brother can't do
your homework for you.

He does it better, though.

And what happens
when he isn't there, hmm?

When the teacher
calls you on in class?

What are you
going to do then?

You can't count on anybody
else to do your work for you.

You can only
count on yourself.

Everything that's worth doing,
you have to do on your own.

Did you do
everything on your own?

No, I didn't.

But I do now.

From now on.

We're so very pleased

that you've decided to
join us, Dr Masters.

The pleasure is all mine.

And I feel comfortable

in speaking for my
partner when I say

how pleased
we both are

to be bringing our
work here, together.

Ripped By mstoll