Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 1, Episode 6 - Brave New World - full transcript
Bill and Libby vacation in Miami after losing the baby. Virginia attends a visiting doctor's speech and decides to investigate one of the claims on her own. Austin struggles with the reason for his non-performance in the study.
Previously on Masters of Sex...
The study is back.
Are you signing up?
Please say yes.
Heck yes.
This is your partner
for the evening.
I-I've never not risen...
to the occasion ever.
The reason
I couldn't fuck that woman
is because I was expecting Jane.
Nonperformance is an
equally valuable part of the study.
You're gonna study actual sex?
Eventually.
Queer sex, too?
I met a young man at the brothel.
Uh, a prostitute...
Uh, homosexual.
The men who pay to see him,
they're salesmen or lawyers
or a provost of a major university.
What the hell is this, Bill?
Virginia. Dr. DePaul.
Doctor, if there's anything
I can ever do to help you...
I could use a coffee.
Is that the heartbeat?
Libby...
Just look at me and tell me.
Is this baby gone?
I'm so sorry.
What happened was not your fault.
It wasn't?
So whose fault was it?
You are a powerful man,
but you are not that powerful.
A clitoral orgasm is
a purely adolescent phenomenon.
The proper response of mature
women upon reaching puberty
is a natural transfer
of pleasurable feelings
from the clitoris to the vagina
during sexual intercourse.
An inability to achieve orgasm
through intercourse
is an indication
of an arrested development
in a female,
whose sexual frigidity
requires psychiatric treatment.
My father revolutionized
modern thinking
with his views on female sexuality.
But at the end of his life,
he admitted
his understanding of
the female psyche was limited.
If you want to know more
about the nature of femininity,
he said, you will
have to consult the poets.
Which I'm sure
makes all you doctors
sitting here today very nervous.
I will now take questions.
You're making some
of the girls here uncomfortable.
It's okay, Kathleen.
He's just waiting for Jane...
again.
I heard she's not coming in today.
Did she call in sick or, uh...
She did say something
about going to see a doctor.
Virginia took her.
Oh, what was the name...
Dr. Lloyd...maybe or...Dr. Freed?
Yes, Dr. Freud,
Virginia Johnson...
Washington University.
It's a great honor
to hear you speak in person.
Doctor, your father's theory
that the female orgasm
achieved by masturbation
is "immature" compared
to one achieved
through sexual intercourse...
has that ever been
scientifically proven?
I'm not sure I understand
what you're asking.
Has there ever been
any scientific evidence
to substantiate this theory...
any physiological data
t-that differentiates between
the two types of orgasms?
Well, I, for one,
can't imagine how procuring
such data would be possible...
let alone decent.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I hope I'm not barging in.
No.
How... How are you?
How's... How's the baby?
Fine, we're all fine...
Busy bees.
And look at you.
You've done something new
with your hair.
Yes, I had it cut
a few weeks ago.
Um, Bill and I are going out of town
for a few days to Miami.
And I called Silver's
about the milk delivery,
but I didn't want the mail
to pile up.
Don't give the mail another thought.
You just sit by the pool
and drink mai tais.
I'm so jealous.
I'd better go. Thank you.
What are neighbors for?
And you must give me the name
of the girl who does your hair.
You look darling.
Did you get the minutes
from the Obstetrical Society dinner?
Yes.
And the new issue
of Fertility and Sterility?
Oh, and before I forget...
Your I.D.
Now you're impersonating me.
I hope you didn't tarnish
my good name with Anna Freud.
Not at all.
Although, I did leave a bit curious.
So, according to Freud,
there are two types of orgasms,
immature and mature?
Have janitorial
give the place the once over.
There's dust in here
from the Truman administration.
So he's saying that one
orgasm is better than the other?
As I understand it, he's saying
when a woman reaches puberty,
there's a transfer of sexual response
from the clitoris to the vagina.
The external or clitoral orgasm
is the province of adolescent girls.
Mature women experience
sexual response
intravaginally with their husbands.
Otherwise they're frigid.
But who would believe
something like that?
My patients.
That's why we keep the
exam rooms stocked with Kleenex.
A quarter of the women
who walk through my door
tell me they're frigid.
Well, maybe that's because
their husbands can't get the job done.
Does he ever address
the man's role in any of this?
Honestly, all of Freud's theories
have their limits.
I stopped reading him
after my college paper
on the Oedipus complex.
I nearly put my own eyes out.
Oh...Dr. Hill wanted me
to look at his paper
on colonic endometriosis.
It's not exactly beach reading.
Bill, you're not taking
all that stuff to Florida.
That's ridiculous.
I haven't been
on vacation since...1953.
Well,
Libby needs some time away.
And you do, too, Bill.
Hey.
Missed you, stranger.
No.
No? What's your pleasure, then?
I need to know
if you've ever mentioned my name
to anyone...
disclosed the... the nature of our...
relationship.
Are you asking do I kiss and tell?
'Cause if I did, I wouldn't have
any repeat business.
You... you never...
spoke to a sex researcher?
A... A what?
Sex researcher?
Are there people who do that...
They research sex?
I want that job.
I want you to tell me the truth.
Am I the only boy
who's ever shown you a good time?
You didn't strike me as a first-timer
when we got together.
So maybe one of them told somebody.
Look, I wouldn't want to ruin
a good thing.
And...I'm not just saying that
as a businessman.
I like you.
I'm glad to see you again.
I bought you
some athletic socks.
You can't wear argyles
on the beach...
Unless you want to look
like the Duke of Windsor.
Hmm.
I still haven't dared
to try on my bathing suit.
Of course there is a nude beach
near the hotel.
We could leave our suits at home...
Feel the sun glinting
off our naked bodies.
Hmm?
Oh, you're somewhere else.
In an Austrian prison
with Dr. Freud...
"Illusions commend themselves to us
because they save us pain
and allow us
to enjoy pleasure instead."
Not the most rigorous science.
I asked Nancy Lawson
to fetch the mail.
You should have seen the way
that she stared at me...
Like I'm a charity case.
Nancy Lawson is a bore.
They all pretend
like nothing's happened.
But I was pregnant.
They all know it.
No one knows it in Florida.
Better to focus on the future.
I keep thinking about
Christmases when I was a girl.
Before my mother died, we...
we always had a big Douglas fir
and stockings by the fire...
A plate of carrots for the reindeer.
Do you still hang stockings
if you don't have a family?
We'll hang mistletoe.
Libby, we have a family.
Just the two of us...
That's enough for me.
Barton? Is that you?
Sorry I'm so late.
I was coerced into having drinks
with the new dean of faculty.
Oh.
Now I can tell the board
firsthand what a dullard he is.
Mrs. Scully,
are you reading a dirty book?
A loan from Vivian.
I wanted to read it before I saw it.
Everyone's mad about it.
"She rubbed her fingertips
over her breasts,
"and this caused
"an odd tightening
somewhere between her legs
that puzzled her but was,
somehow, very pleasant."
I'm not sure I want
our daughter reading this.
She's young and curious.
Don't worry.
This phase will pass.
I'm gonna turn in.
Good night, dear.
Night.
Sleep tight.
It's okay. I'll get the next.
Wait, hold on.
I was hoping to run into you.
I've been taking the stairs.
Why?
Because you were hoping
to run into me.
Wait.
What's wrong with that?
I can't...
fix your problem, Austin.
I... I don't need it fixed.
It's not bro...
Look, that's not why
I was looking for you.
I was concerned.
Kathleen said you went
to see a doctor, which...
A different kind of doctor.
The kind you might benefit from.
Uh, a urologist?
A psychoanalyst.
Have you ever read
"On the Universal Tendency towards
Debasement in the Sphere of Love"?
Is that like
"Ode to a Grecian Urn"?
It's not a poem.
It's an essay by Sigmund Freud.
I think you'd find it very illuminating.
Can't you...
give me the headlines?
The problem's not in your pants,
Austin, it's in your head.
Going up?
Is he in?
Oh, he's in Florida,
attempting to vacation.
Is there anything
that I could help you with?
Tell him I had Dr. Papanikolaou
coming in today
to discuss cervical testing.
I thought he might like
to join us for lunch.
Dr. Papanikolas...
Papanikolaou.
To discuss pap smear.
You're familiar with the pap smear?
I try to keep abreast
of what's happening in the field.
Your proposal
for mandatory smear testing
was on Dr. Masters' desk.
If the test detected male cancers,
you'd be reading about it on a billboard.
The test is standard
at New York Hospital...
even on the negro ward.
But not here.
It will if I have
anything to say about it.
I'm going to start
a clinical outreach program.
Any country doctor can perform the test.
They just need to be taught.
That alone could save
millions of women's lives.
I actually may be able to help.
I know I don't have an MD,
but I do know which strings
to pull around here
to get things done.
All right.
I need Dr. Frank and Dr. Canin
to sponsor my proposal.
I need the official sanction
of the American College of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
And I need seed money...
$12,000 for the first 6 months.
Can you pull those strings?
I've never seen
so many palm trees.
It's like the Congo.
Except hotter.
The name is Masters.
Six nights.
Welcome to the Tropicale.
What, um, special occasion
are we celebrating?
It's our anniversary...
10 years.
Well, in that case,
I... I think we can do better
than a junior suite.
He just transferred here
from Northwestern,
a professor of entomology... bugs,
early 60s,
a little on the bald side,
but he's never been married before.
A bald bug doctor.
I can't imagine he has.
Oh, Harriet.
Don't waste your time.
Harriet's evenings are a little
busy lately, aren't they?
Okay.
What Leona is dying
for me to tell you
is that I, um...
I volunteered for a study
at the university...
on human sexuality.
It's for science.
And, um, uh,
the research is being supervised
by Bill Masters.
And he's delivered half of our children.
And there's nothing I've got
that he hasn't seen.
So when you say research,
you mean...
She means sex.
With Robert?
After all the ugliness
you two went through?
Not Robert...
Um...Number M-51-147.
It's completely anonymous.
You don't even know his name?
I know that he's tall,
I know that he has all his hair,
and I know he's taught me more
about how my body works
than Robert did in 23 years.
Oh, God.
Is it that different?
You know what it's like?
My shoes.
Growing up, my mother believed
that ladies were meant
to have small feet.
So she would tell me
"You're a 6 1/2. You're a 6 1/2."
You know, up until my 20's,
I bought shoes that were 6 1/2.
One day, a clerk at
Vandervoort's looked at me
and he said,
"Excuse me, Miss, um,
"I look at feet all day,
and you are not a 6 1/2."
I walked out of there
in a size-8 loafer,
and it felt like I was
walking on...whipped cream.
I can see why the bug doctor
holds little appeal.
As soon as you can.
Of course, sir.
I asked him to have room service
send up some champagne.
It's a king-size.
Could sleep a whole family.
Is that singing?
I think
it's Pop Goes the Weasel.
Now they're jumping on the bed.
Could you put me through
to the front desk?
Bill, you don't have to complain.
It seems there's a
jungle gym in the room next door.
My wife would be...
Never mind.
The room is lovely. Thank you.
I know you want to protect me.
We can't spend the rest of our lives
hiding from other people's children.
I don't think those are children.
Ladies' Home Journal
did name this
the number-one honeymoon spot.
Well, did they specify room 404?
Oh.
Happy anniversary.
"Where they love,
they have no desire.
Where they desire,
they cannot love."
What's that?
Freud on marriage...
I think.
I'm not so sure I care
what a male psychologist has to say
about female sexuality.
He has a cigar.
He obviously knew
what he was talking about.
Really?
Do you want to sleep
with your father?
Do you wish you had a penis?
I wish
a few men around here didn't.
I'll tell you my theory.
Freud was a bad lover.
One night he caught his hausfrau
with her hand in her drawers.
And he's been punishing women
ever since.
I can climax when
someone is touching my breast.
You can? Is that true?
Well, not all the time,
but it has happened.
Wow.
He would call that
an immature orgasm, right?
Do you really believe
that there's a difference
between orgasms?
Well, they wouldn't say it
if it wasn't true.
They said the world
was flat until somebody asked.
Well, then, where does it end?
I think that Freud's theories
have their limits.
I mean, he was a psychologist.
We, on the other hand...
We have science on our side.
We?
Bill.
Bill, Bill.
Shut the door. Shut the door.
That's them.
It's the honeymooners.
That's "Pop Goes the Weasel."
So we will leave your
breasts out of this entirely.
Understood.
And while you use Ulysses,
I'll be monitoring your vital signs
and notating visual changes...
Blood pressure, respiration,
rate of contractions.
You've done this before.
But always
while Dr. Masters is here.
Do you think he'll be
okay with us doing this
while he's out of town?
If the data's compelling,
he won't give it a second thought.
Okay, stud.
Dr. Freud's reputation
is depending on you.
Don't put
too much pressure on him.
We all know how that turns out.
And remember,
no clitoral stimulation.
What if I accidentally touch it?
It's not like
I've got eyes down there.
Well, do your best, Jane.
And when you're done with Ulysses,
then we will take
as long of a break as you need
and we'll start in again
using manual stimulation.
Then...we will let the facts
speak for themselves.
EEG readouts match to a "T."
Cardiac response is identical...
as are all other
physiological responses.
Actually, there's
a slight uptick in this one...
in terms of intensity.
Was that the Ulysses or...
You. Solo.
My clitoris beat my vagina?
That's crazy.
I believe
the weasel is popping again.
That makes three times
in one day.
But who's counting?
You'd think
they'd die of exhaustion.
They must be 70 years old.
Well, Mr. Dooley from church
plays a round of golf every morning,
and he's almost 80.
It's uncanny.
They're like lions.
Uh, when an African lioness
is in estrus,
she copulates every
15 minutes for a week.
There were girls
like that in my sorority.
Come to bed.
She's in the plateau state.
And we are in
the sunshine state...to relax.
We could, um, give them
a run for their money...
Try to drown them out.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Are you timing them?
They're senior citizens.
Their endocrine systems don't
produce sex hormones anymore.
It's like from
a medical standpoint, it's...
Peculiar.
And not very flattering
to the woman who is in this bed
who happens to be your wife.
It's like something out of Ripley's.
Excuse me?
Um, my friend told me
about this study.
You're looking for participants?
I was hoping to apply.
You're looking
for Dr. William Masters.
He's out until Monday.
I'm sorry. My friend
said she met with a woman...
A Dr. Johnson I assumed...
Mrs. Johnson
is Dr. Masters' secretary.
You'll find her
down the corridor to the left...
Small, brunette, ambitious.
Thank you.
She's not a doctor.
Bill, I know how to read an EKG.
And I'm telling you,
they're indistinguishable.
Except one was a little longer
and a little stronger.
Care to guess which?
I would not.
A clitoral orgasm is just as good
as a vaginal orgasm...
maybe even better.
Based on your extensive study.
Well, it's a start.
This is something, Bill.
I know it.
The only thing I don't know
is how two orgasms
can be the same
since they involve two
completely different body parts.
Put down the phone
and pick up in my office.
I'm in your office.
Really? In my chair?
Standing. Actually.
Well, face the door... 10:00.
Third or fourth from the right,
there's an anatomy textbook.
This is from...
the University of Rochester?
Bill, it's 12 years overdue.
Refer me
to the ethics committee.
Now, there's a plate in the back...
Uh, a cross section
of the female's sex organs.
See how the clitoral crura extend
along the pubic arch
almost to the bone?
It's at least conceivable
that Freud's mature orgasm...
Is just another clitoral orgasm.
Because the clitoris
is stimulated in both cases.
So, uh, does this mean that...
Keep going.
Well, it means
that a woman doesn't need a man
to provide pleasure at all.
In fact, we may be better off
without you.
That was not exactly my point.
And let's not burn Freud
in effigy just yet, either.
We're talking about
a single data point.
One woman does not a study make.
But why couldn't it
be an entire study?
We'll start when I get back.
Uh, the guide book is useless...
Unless you want to see
a seminole Indian
wrestle an alligator.
This isn't working.
I think you look nice.
No, Bill...
I... I thought that getting away
would make things better.
Libby...
We obviously have
different ways of grieving.
And you... You need your work.
And I need...
There must be
a flight out tonight.
We can come back...
in the fall.
We'll make a week of it.
I'm staying.
I don't understand.
I want to be here.
And I don't need you here
if you are more interested
in what is happening
next door or back at the office.
Well, I can't leave you...
alone.
If that is
the reason that you'd stay,
then I would rather
that you didn't.
No, I...
Bill, I'm not...
I'm not gonna argue with you.
But I'm not asking either.
Go.
Look, I skimmed
that Freud article and frankly,
a lot of it
seemed like bullshit to me...
All the stuff about mothers.
I'm not in love
with my mother, okay?
It's interesting
that that's what you took away
from the article.
Let's explore that for a moment then.
Would you say
you love your mother?
My mom has nothing to do
with my penis.
What if we were
to posit... just posit...
that this sex study
caused you to feel judged.
Well, you'd want to return
to a place free of judgment,
wouldn't you?
But this is a place
that you associate with
a kind of maternal love
which, when sexualized,
feels wrong... illicit.
So your body has short-circuited
as a means
of solving the problem for you.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
I think you do.
No. No, I... I don't.
I... I really don't.
I think you do.
Nurse Howell,
please report to neonatal.
Virginia?
Oh, Mrs. Scully,
how nice to see you.
I, uh...was just
meeting my daughter for lunch
and thought I might pop in
and say hello.
Vivian is doing a wonderful job.
Everyone here just loves her.
Well, she says you've
been especially kind to her.
You wouldn't think a girl that pretty
would have confidence problems, but...
maybe that's the one thing
she got from me.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you
Dr. Masters is out of town.
What? Hmm?
Oh, you wanted to say hello?
T-to you.
Oh.
Would you mind if I...
No.
By the time I count to 10,
your hands better be washed.
- Henry, I mean it.
- Hello?
Virginia, it's Bill.
Oh, Bill, good...
You will never guess
who came to see me today...
Mama, Henry's making me
do all of it...
Bill, you know,
I'm actually just...
I'm getting dinner on the table
for the kids.
Do you mind if I...
if I call you right back?
I'm at home.
What's that?
I'm back. I came back.
Oh, is everything all right?
Did the... Did the weather turn?
Uh, Libby stayed.
Oh.
I think we should plan a session
for tomorrow night.
Get some data on your hypothesis.
That men are completely unnecessary.
Uh, excuse me, Miss,
would you care to join us?
It took us forever to get a table.
That would be lovely.
Thank you.
They sat us over there
first under an air vent.
I didn't know
you could freeze in Miami.
My wife detests
air-conditioning.
And he'd like
to sleep in an ice box.
May I ask you two, um, how...
How long you've been married?
180 years.
With time off for good behavior.
We met in high school.
He was captain
of the wrestling team,
and I was a pom-pom girl.
I pinned her in the first round.
Well, I think it's very romantic.
All those years and you could
still be mistaken for newlyweds.
I'll tell you the trick.
You shower your children
with love
until they're 18 years of age,
then you kick them the hell out.
Gives your marriage
a fresh coat of paint.
We have three boys. And you?
Um...I have a...
I have a boy and a girl.
Oh, well, I bet they're
both as gorgeous as their mother.
Um, well, Timmy...
Timmy is my rock and he's 12,
and Susan is 10.
Well, when they're
18 years old... out.
And tell your husband.
Um, my, um...
my husband is dead.
A plane crash.
You're still wearing his ring.
Oh, you poor lamb.
Oh, it was a...
It was a long time ago.
When it first happened,
I kept thinking...
I would wake up
and discover it was all a dream.
Then I realized it was up to me
to decide
what kind of life I would have.
God helps those
who help themselves.
It'll be a full house tonight.
And have you told them
what'll be expected of them?
One go-round
with Ulysses and one without.
There is one candidate
that I need to run by you...
Margaret Scully.
You want to enlist
the provost's wife?
She came to see me yesterday.
She seemed very anxious to make
some kind of a contribution.
I'm sure she meant financially.
Bill, she knows about the study.
And she wants to be a part of it.
And is she aware
of her husband's reservations
about the study?
I don't know.
I do know that she does not
intend to tell him about it.
She was very clear about that.
I, of course,
said I needed to check with you.
I don't think
it's a wise decision.
We let Lorraine Bach in.
Her husband's on the board.
If she wants to make
a contribution to science,
why would we turn her away?
There you are.
And what would you like?
Three more daiquiris.
Mmm. So much for lunch.
Well, you know, you got to
get your jollies while you can.
Khrushchev's got his finger
on the button.
One push and we're just dust
blowing over Aruba.
Don't be so gloomy.
I can't bear to watch the news.
I think
that Eisenhower's a weasel.
Here I thought
that you liked weasels.
Oh, uh...um...
I... I think that you have
the room next to mine.
402?
Thin walls.
My Tommy used to love that song.
# Do do-do-do do #
I used to sing him to sleep
at night.
No, is it...
Is it Tommy...or...or Timmy?
Um...
It, uh... it's, uh...
It's Thomas.
But I call him Timmy.
It's a long story.
Uh, I guess
I must've been, what?
Let's see. Um...
Al-almost 20...
My daughter's age.
And how often do you engage
in intercourse now?
I'm sorry the questions
are so personal, Margaret.
Um, if this is too awkward...
No, of course not.
It's all right.
Thank you, Bill.
Whoo, well, Barton's
a very busy man, you know.
Things tapered off...
considerably after Vivian was born.
On average,
what would you say?
We just need to quantify it
with a number.
Once a year...or less.
And what is
your orgasmic response?
Your physical response
during intercourse.
It's, you know...
Not...really painful exactly,
m-more like...uh, rubbing.
Rubbing...
It's a rubbing sensation...
that can feel
I'd say...protracted.
And this sensation,
does it build to anything...
a feeling of pleasure,
a kind of ache,
a tensing of the muscles?
There is a certain tension. Yes.
And do you experience release?
Oh, when it's over?
Absolutely... Tremendous relief.
Margaret...
Have you ever experienced
an orgasm?
I don't know.
Maybe.
You would know.
I would?
Yes.
Then, no. I guess not.
But I'm a fast learner.
I taught myself Italian.
I'm sure with a little instruction...
Unfortunately,
this study is limited
to subjects...
that have had an orgasm.
Without exception?
That is one of our baselines.
We've had to make it
a hard and fast rule
in order for the data
to be consistent.
We're investigating the
entire cycle of sexual response,
from initial excitement
through to climax.
No, of... of course.
That makes sense.
I... I understand completely.
And I... I'm... I am so sorry
to have wasted your time.
Margaret.
Bill.
Morris.
Is the, uh...
Is the music too loud?
I can turn it off.
Holy moly,
I thought our room was plush.
You could...
Well, you could park
a Cadillac in here.
Oh, listen, I, um...
I pinched this from the bar.
Barb and I thought
you just might like
to join us for a... a nightcap.
Oh,
the room would start spinning.
Well, there's a cure for that.
You just spin
in the opposite direction.
I bet you're a bang-up dancer.
Now, look at you.
You're built like a ballet dancer.
Do it.
Again.
Come here.
Maybe...
Maybe we should go meet Barb.
Well, actually, uh...
Barb turned in already
for the night.
I...told a little white lie.
Is my nose growing?
Morris...
Hmm?
I know another way
to make the room spin.
Barb is right next door.
Barb likes to listen
just like you.
What? What?
But she's your wife.
Well, your wife
is like your home...
You live there,
you know every nook and cranny.
But it's always nice to travel...
Hmm? Sleep in different beds.
You should leave
before I call my husband.
Wait a minute,
I thought your husband was dead.
Well, you misunderstood me.
Okay.
What do you call this?
Shepherd's pie.
Just sensational.
Ethan cooked dinner
for me the other night.
Oh? How was it?
He made a piece of meat
that tasted like a desk blotter.
Well, I hope you were polite.
It's always nice to be encouraging
of men's efforts in the kitchen.
Your father can't boil water.
I made an omelette once
when you had your tonsillectomy.
You ruined the wallpaper.
You ever seen the way
short-order cooks flip eggs?
We had to repaper
the whole kitchen.
It's all in the wrist.
I loved that old wallpaper.
Why don't you two
go out after dinner?
What for?
I don't know. A change of pace.
Well, it's already 7:30.
So?
Get a sundae down at Schiff's
or...go to the pictures.
"Peyton Place" is playing
at the Rialto.
So what if you haven't
finished the book?
You could make the 8:00.
Tell you what,
you go, sweetheart.
I know how much
you like those weepers.
I'd be asleep
before the second reel.
You have a minute, Dr. Masters?
I'm assuming Virginia is gone
for the evening.
Actually, no.
She went to get sandwiches.
She'll be back.
I'm sorry for missing lunch
the other day.
You and Dr. Papanikolaou
have known each other
for a long time?
When I became interested
in cytopathology at Penn,
he and I exchanged correspondence.
And he mentored you?
No.
He answered a few questions.
I've never had a mentor.
Oh. Well, they, uh...
They help, of course,
but they're not entirely necessary.
You've done excellent work
without one.
Maybe if there'd been
more women ahead of me.
Don't you find it interesting,
Dr. Masters,
that obstetrics is a field
dominated by men?
Medicine is a field
dominated by men.
And at least twice a day,
I'm mistaken for a member
of this secretary pool,
just because I'm a woman.
And yet, your secretary...
Mrs. Johnson?
Don't you mean "Dr. Johnson"?
That's how patients address her
when you're not here.
She acts like she's in charge.
She acts like a professional.
If a patient mistakes her
for a doctor,
that's likely the reason why.
Then she should handle
their mistakes
like a professional
and correct them.
Mrs. Johnson hasn't earned
those credentials
and I take offense to a woman
who uses her beauty and allure
as a substitute
for the knowledge and skill
I sacrificed years to acquire.
So, why aren't you
having this conversation
with Mrs. Johnson?
Because I respect you
as a colleague, Dr. Masters.
In fact, I admired your intellect
long before I knew you.
But at this moment,
it would seem
the mind I had so esteemed
is out-matched
by another part of your anatomy.
I can't help but wonder which
part is making the judgments.
All right, let's talk about this.
I don't want to talk.
I just want you to leave.
Just like that?
That's right.
We're not kids, we're adults.
And we're going
to behave like adults.
I kissed you, you kissed me.
That's affection, not carnality.
That's affection, not lust.
You ought to know the difference.
And what do you call a man
who thinks about nothing but...
Human.
Mrs. Scully?
Oh, Dr. Langham,
w-what a nice surprise.
Dr. Scully?
Oh, no, um, he couldn't make it.
It's not really his cup of tea.
And your pretty wife?
Oh, Elise is in bed
by 9:00...every single night...
Three kids, you know.
Me, on the other hand,
I can't fall asleep before 2:00.
Can I walk you to your car?
Oh, thank you.
So, what do you for that...
Your insomnia?
Go to movies...
Doesn't matter which ones.
Um, swim laps
at the university pool.
The pool was closed tonight.
I used to swim in college...
The one place being tall
actually worked to my advantage.
I'm just up ahead.
Sometimes, if I can't sleep,
I just walk
around the neighborhood.
You know what's strange,
when you're outside looking in,
there's always a glow
to someone else's house.
But when it's you inside,
you can't imagine anyone
looking through your window
and seeing it that way.
I'm sorry, that's not...
I don't know what I'm saying.
That made perfect sense to me.
It did?
You're a deep thinker.
Well, not really, not me.
I failed my boards twice.
I shouldn't go telling that
to the provost's wife, though.
I can keep a secret.
Oh, you were probably
just nervous.
I get nervous taking an eye exam.
I, um...
I participated
in this study recently...
It wasn't a test exactly...
but it was kind of, um...
a performance evaluation.
The pressure really got to me.
A study at the hospital?
Doesn't matter.
Whenever my daughter
has a test, I tell her
to just close your eyes,
take a deep breath,
and remember you know
more than you think you do.
It all comes back to you
when you can just...relax.
This is me.
Say, um, I didn't ask you.
What'd you think of the movie?
I'm such a sap.
I cried through the whole thing,
can't you tell?
I don't usually look like this...
Look like what?
Like...
Like this.
Yes.
Did you get what you wanted?
We did. Thank you.
I'm in nursing school actually.
Oh?
So all of this
is really interesting to me.
It's funny. I thought
you were a doctor before.
Me? Oh, no.
Oh, you act like one...
Like you could've gone
to medical school.
Instead I got married.
And divorced...twice. Had kids.
I didn't know I was good at this
before it was too late.
Well, I'm not getting
married till I'm 36. I've decided.
Besides, I can take care of myself.
In more ways than one, I guess.
Let's hope there are
more and more like you.
'Cause when a woman can please herself
as well as man can, or better...
it's a brave new world.
How many more until there's
an adequate sampling...
50? 75?
I don't want you
as my secretary anymore.
What?
I've given this serious thought.
Are you firing me?
Again? Bill...
I think you should have
a different title.
One that reflects
the work you're doing.
'Cause you're not
just a secretary, are you?
What am I?
You're a research assistant.
And you're a very good one.
I'm not giving you a raise
or your own separate office,
but we'll get someone in
who can assist us both...
A secretary.
With a secretary, I could...
I could just focus on the work.
Well,
it seems like the right time.
So then you agree
that we're on to something.
It's not science to operate
from a series
of unproven assumptions.
That's dogma...
like, one form of orgasm
is immature, another is mature.
Which we've just
scientifically proved is not science.
But there are other assumptions.
For example,
how long do elderly people
remain sexually active?
Now, the general assumption is
that the course of a sex life
ends around 60.
But I've got two 70-year-olds
in Miami who are living proof
that that's something
we should investigate.
Here's another question...
Why can some women orgasm
without any genital stimulation
whatsoever?
- Can they?
- Jane can.
Jane can orgasm
just having her breasts touched.
That I find hard to believe.
You don't have to
because we could test it here.
Couldn't we?
We could.
There was a woman on the road
who could orgasm by putting
a Q-tip in her ear.
And there was a woman tonight
who wrote on her questionnaire
that she can climax
while brushing her teeth.
Sexual pleasure
via good hygiene? Okay.
Men can climax in their dreams.
Women can, too.
So I think your
new job description is clear...
Keep asking questions.
That's what
a good researcher does.
Although, orgasming
having your breasts touched...
I'd need to see proof of that.
We're scientists.
Let's see.
The study is back.
Are you signing up?
Please say yes.
Heck yes.
This is your partner
for the evening.
I-I've never not risen...
to the occasion ever.
The reason
I couldn't fuck that woman
is because I was expecting Jane.
Nonperformance is an
equally valuable part of the study.
You're gonna study actual sex?
Eventually.
Queer sex, too?
I met a young man at the brothel.
Uh, a prostitute...
Uh, homosexual.
The men who pay to see him,
they're salesmen or lawyers
or a provost of a major university.
What the hell is this, Bill?
Virginia. Dr. DePaul.
Doctor, if there's anything
I can ever do to help you...
I could use a coffee.
Is that the heartbeat?
Libby...
Just look at me and tell me.
Is this baby gone?
I'm so sorry.
What happened was not your fault.
It wasn't?
So whose fault was it?
You are a powerful man,
but you are not that powerful.
A clitoral orgasm is
a purely adolescent phenomenon.
The proper response of mature
women upon reaching puberty
is a natural transfer
of pleasurable feelings
from the clitoris to the vagina
during sexual intercourse.
An inability to achieve orgasm
through intercourse
is an indication
of an arrested development
in a female,
whose sexual frigidity
requires psychiatric treatment.
My father revolutionized
modern thinking
with his views on female sexuality.
But at the end of his life,
he admitted
his understanding of
the female psyche was limited.
If you want to know more
about the nature of femininity,
he said, you will
have to consult the poets.
Which I'm sure
makes all you doctors
sitting here today very nervous.
I will now take questions.
You're making some
of the girls here uncomfortable.
It's okay, Kathleen.
He's just waiting for Jane...
again.
I heard she's not coming in today.
Did she call in sick or, uh...
She did say something
about going to see a doctor.
Virginia took her.
Oh, what was the name...
Dr. Lloyd...maybe or...Dr. Freed?
Yes, Dr. Freud,
Virginia Johnson...
Washington University.
It's a great honor
to hear you speak in person.
Doctor, your father's theory
that the female orgasm
achieved by masturbation
is "immature" compared
to one achieved
through sexual intercourse...
has that ever been
scientifically proven?
I'm not sure I understand
what you're asking.
Has there ever been
any scientific evidence
to substantiate this theory...
any physiological data
t-that differentiates between
the two types of orgasms?
Well, I, for one,
can't imagine how procuring
such data would be possible...
let alone decent.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I hope I'm not barging in.
No.
How... How are you?
How's... How's the baby?
Fine, we're all fine...
Busy bees.
And look at you.
You've done something new
with your hair.
Yes, I had it cut
a few weeks ago.
Um, Bill and I are going out of town
for a few days to Miami.
And I called Silver's
about the milk delivery,
but I didn't want the mail
to pile up.
Don't give the mail another thought.
You just sit by the pool
and drink mai tais.
I'm so jealous.
I'd better go. Thank you.
What are neighbors for?
And you must give me the name
of the girl who does your hair.
You look darling.
Did you get the minutes
from the Obstetrical Society dinner?
Yes.
And the new issue
of Fertility and Sterility?
Oh, and before I forget...
Your I.D.
Now you're impersonating me.
I hope you didn't tarnish
my good name with Anna Freud.
Not at all.
Although, I did leave a bit curious.
So, according to Freud,
there are two types of orgasms,
immature and mature?
Have janitorial
give the place the once over.
There's dust in here
from the Truman administration.
So he's saying that one
orgasm is better than the other?
As I understand it, he's saying
when a woman reaches puberty,
there's a transfer of sexual response
from the clitoris to the vagina.
The external or clitoral orgasm
is the province of adolescent girls.
Mature women experience
sexual response
intravaginally with their husbands.
Otherwise they're frigid.
But who would believe
something like that?
My patients.
That's why we keep the
exam rooms stocked with Kleenex.
A quarter of the women
who walk through my door
tell me they're frigid.
Well, maybe that's because
their husbands can't get the job done.
Does he ever address
the man's role in any of this?
Honestly, all of Freud's theories
have their limits.
I stopped reading him
after my college paper
on the Oedipus complex.
I nearly put my own eyes out.
Oh...Dr. Hill wanted me
to look at his paper
on colonic endometriosis.
It's not exactly beach reading.
Bill, you're not taking
all that stuff to Florida.
That's ridiculous.
I haven't been
on vacation since...1953.
Well,
Libby needs some time away.
And you do, too, Bill.
Hey.
Missed you, stranger.
No.
No? What's your pleasure, then?
I need to know
if you've ever mentioned my name
to anyone...
disclosed the... the nature of our...
relationship.
Are you asking do I kiss and tell?
'Cause if I did, I wouldn't have
any repeat business.
You... you never...
spoke to a sex researcher?
A... A what?
Sex researcher?
Are there people who do that...
They research sex?
I want that job.
I want you to tell me the truth.
Am I the only boy
who's ever shown you a good time?
You didn't strike me as a first-timer
when we got together.
So maybe one of them told somebody.
Look, I wouldn't want to ruin
a good thing.
And...I'm not just saying that
as a businessman.
I like you.
I'm glad to see you again.
I bought you
some athletic socks.
You can't wear argyles
on the beach...
Unless you want to look
like the Duke of Windsor.
Hmm.
I still haven't dared
to try on my bathing suit.
Of course there is a nude beach
near the hotel.
We could leave our suits at home...
Feel the sun glinting
off our naked bodies.
Hmm?
Oh, you're somewhere else.
In an Austrian prison
with Dr. Freud...
"Illusions commend themselves to us
because they save us pain
and allow us
to enjoy pleasure instead."
Not the most rigorous science.
I asked Nancy Lawson
to fetch the mail.
You should have seen the way
that she stared at me...
Like I'm a charity case.
Nancy Lawson is a bore.
They all pretend
like nothing's happened.
But I was pregnant.
They all know it.
No one knows it in Florida.
Better to focus on the future.
I keep thinking about
Christmases when I was a girl.
Before my mother died, we...
we always had a big Douglas fir
and stockings by the fire...
A plate of carrots for the reindeer.
Do you still hang stockings
if you don't have a family?
We'll hang mistletoe.
Libby, we have a family.
Just the two of us...
That's enough for me.
Barton? Is that you?
Sorry I'm so late.
I was coerced into having drinks
with the new dean of faculty.
Oh.
Now I can tell the board
firsthand what a dullard he is.
Mrs. Scully,
are you reading a dirty book?
A loan from Vivian.
I wanted to read it before I saw it.
Everyone's mad about it.
"She rubbed her fingertips
over her breasts,
"and this caused
"an odd tightening
somewhere between her legs
that puzzled her but was,
somehow, very pleasant."
I'm not sure I want
our daughter reading this.
She's young and curious.
Don't worry.
This phase will pass.
I'm gonna turn in.
Good night, dear.
Night.
Sleep tight.
It's okay. I'll get the next.
Wait, hold on.
I was hoping to run into you.
I've been taking the stairs.
Why?
Because you were hoping
to run into me.
Wait.
What's wrong with that?
I can't...
fix your problem, Austin.
I... I don't need it fixed.
It's not bro...
Look, that's not why
I was looking for you.
I was concerned.
Kathleen said you went
to see a doctor, which...
A different kind of doctor.
The kind you might benefit from.
Uh, a urologist?
A psychoanalyst.
Have you ever read
"On the Universal Tendency towards
Debasement in the Sphere of Love"?
Is that like
"Ode to a Grecian Urn"?
It's not a poem.
It's an essay by Sigmund Freud.
I think you'd find it very illuminating.
Can't you...
give me the headlines?
The problem's not in your pants,
Austin, it's in your head.
Going up?
Is he in?
Oh, he's in Florida,
attempting to vacation.
Is there anything
that I could help you with?
Tell him I had Dr. Papanikolaou
coming in today
to discuss cervical testing.
I thought he might like
to join us for lunch.
Dr. Papanikolas...
Papanikolaou.
To discuss pap smear.
You're familiar with the pap smear?
I try to keep abreast
of what's happening in the field.
Your proposal
for mandatory smear testing
was on Dr. Masters' desk.
If the test detected male cancers,
you'd be reading about it on a billboard.
The test is standard
at New York Hospital...
even on the negro ward.
But not here.
It will if I have
anything to say about it.
I'm going to start
a clinical outreach program.
Any country doctor can perform the test.
They just need to be taught.
That alone could save
millions of women's lives.
I actually may be able to help.
I know I don't have an MD,
but I do know which strings
to pull around here
to get things done.
All right.
I need Dr. Frank and Dr. Canin
to sponsor my proposal.
I need the official sanction
of the American College of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
And I need seed money...
$12,000 for the first 6 months.
Can you pull those strings?
I've never seen
so many palm trees.
It's like the Congo.
Except hotter.
The name is Masters.
Six nights.
Welcome to the Tropicale.
What, um, special occasion
are we celebrating?
It's our anniversary...
10 years.
Well, in that case,
I... I think we can do better
than a junior suite.
He just transferred here
from Northwestern,
a professor of entomology... bugs,
early 60s,
a little on the bald side,
but he's never been married before.
A bald bug doctor.
I can't imagine he has.
Oh, Harriet.
Don't waste your time.
Harriet's evenings are a little
busy lately, aren't they?
Okay.
What Leona is dying
for me to tell you
is that I, um...
I volunteered for a study
at the university...
on human sexuality.
It's for science.
And, um, uh,
the research is being supervised
by Bill Masters.
And he's delivered half of our children.
And there's nothing I've got
that he hasn't seen.
So when you say research,
you mean...
She means sex.
With Robert?
After all the ugliness
you two went through?
Not Robert...
Um...Number M-51-147.
It's completely anonymous.
You don't even know his name?
I know that he's tall,
I know that he has all his hair,
and I know he's taught me more
about how my body works
than Robert did in 23 years.
Oh, God.
Is it that different?
You know what it's like?
My shoes.
Growing up, my mother believed
that ladies were meant
to have small feet.
So she would tell me
"You're a 6 1/2. You're a 6 1/2."
You know, up until my 20's,
I bought shoes that were 6 1/2.
One day, a clerk at
Vandervoort's looked at me
and he said,
"Excuse me, Miss, um,
"I look at feet all day,
and you are not a 6 1/2."
I walked out of there
in a size-8 loafer,
and it felt like I was
walking on...whipped cream.
I can see why the bug doctor
holds little appeal.
As soon as you can.
Of course, sir.
I asked him to have room service
send up some champagne.
It's a king-size.
Could sleep a whole family.
Is that singing?
I think
it's Pop Goes the Weasel.
Now they're jumping on the bed.
Could you put me through
to the front desk?
Bill, you don't have to complain.
It seems there's a
jungle gym in the room next door.
My wife would be...
Never mind.
The room is lovely. Thank you.
I know you want to protect me.
We can't spend the rest of our lives
hiding from other people's children.
I don't think those are children.
Ladies' Home Journal
did name this
the number-one honeymoon spot.
Well, did they specify room 404?
Oh.
Happy anniversary.
"Where they love,
they have no desire.
Where they desire,
they cannot love."
What's that?
Freud on marriage...
I think.
I'm not so sure I care
what a male psychologist has to say
about female sexuality.
He has a cigar.
He obviously knew
what he was talking about.
Really?
Do you want to sleep
with your father?
Do you wish you had a penis?
I wish
a few men around here didn't.
I'll tell you my theory.
Freud was a bad lover.
One night he caught his hausfrau
with her hand in her drawers.
And he's been punishing women
ever since.
I can climax when
someone is touching my breast.
You can? Is that true?
Well, not all the time,
but it has happened.
Wow.
He would call that
an immature orgasm, right?
Do you really believe
that there's a difference
between orgasms?
Well, they wouldn't say it
if it wasn't true.
They said the world
was flat until somebody asked.
Well, then, where does it end?
I think that Freud's theories
have their limits.
I mean, he was a psychologist.
We, on the other hand...
We have science on our side.
We?
Bill.
Bill, Bill.
Shut the door. Shut the door.
That's them.
It's the honeymooners.
That's "Pop Goes the Weasel."
So we will leave your
breasts out of this entirely.
Understood.
And while you use Ulysses,
I'll be monitoring your vital signs
and notating visual changes...
Blood pressure, respiration,
rate of contractions.
You've done this before.
But always
while Dr. Masters is here.
Do you think he'll be
okay with us doing this
while he's out of town?
If the data's compelling,
he won't give it a second thought.
Okay, stud.
Dr. Freud's reputation
is depending on you.
Don't put
too much pressure on him.
We all know how that turns out.
And remember,
no clitoral stimulation.
What if I accidentally touch it?
It's not like
I've got eyes down there.
Well, do your best, Jane.
And when you're done with Ulysses,
then we will take
as long of a break as you need
and we'll start in again
using manual stimulation.
Then...we will let the facts
speak for themselves.
EEG readouts match to a "T."
Cardiac response is identical...
as are all other
physiological responses.
Actually, there's
a slight uptick in this one...
in terms of intensity.
Was that the Ulysses or...
You. Solo.
My clitoris beat my vagina?
That's crazy.
I believe
the weasel is popping again.
That makes three times
in one day.
But who's counting?
You'd think
they'd die of exhaustion.
They must be 70 years old.
Well, Mr. Dooley from church
plays a round of golf every morning,
and he's almost 80.
It's uncanny.
They're like lions.
Uh, when an African lioness
is in estrus,
she copulates every
15 minutes for a week.
There were girls
like that in my sorority.
Come to bed.
She's in the plateau state.
And we are in
the sunshine state...to relax.
We could, um, give them
a run for their money...
Try to drown them out.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Are you timing them?
They're senior citizens.
Their endocrine systems don't
produce sex hormones anymore.
It's like from
a medical standpoint, it's...
Peculiar.
And not very flattering
to the woman who is in this bed
who happens to be your wife.
It's like something out of Ripley's.
Excuse me?
Um, my friend told me
about this study.
You're looking for participants?
I was hoping to apply.
You're looking
for Dr. William Masters.
He's out until Monday.
I'm sorry. My friend
said she met with a woman...
A Dr. Johnson I assumed...
Mrs. Johnson
is Dr. Masters' secretary.
You'll find her
down the corridor to the left...
Small, brunette, ambitious.
Thank you.
She's not a doctor.
Bill, I know how to read an EKG.
And I'm telling you,
they're indistinguishable.
Except one was a little longer
and a little stronger.
Care to guess which?
I would not.
A clitoral orgasm is just as good
as a vaginal orgasm...
maybe even better.
Based on your extensive study.
Well, it's a start.
This is something, Bill.
I know it.
The only thing I don't know
is how two orgasms
can be the same
since they involve two
completely different body parts.
Put down the phone
and pick up in my office.
I'm in your office.
Really? In my chair?
Standing. Actually.
Well, face the door... 10:00.
Third or fourth from the right,
there's an anatomy textbook.
This is from...
the University of Rochester?
Bill, it's 12 years overdue.
Refer me
to the ethics committee.
Now, there's a plate in the back...
Uh, a cross section
of the female's sex organs.
See how the clitoral crura extend
along the pubic arch
almost to the bone?
It's at least conceivable
that Freud's mature orgasm...
Is just another clitoral orgasm.
Because the clitoris
is stimulated in both cases.
So, uh, does this mean that...
Keep going.
Well, it means
that a woman doesn't need a man
to provide pleasure at all.
In fact, we may be better off
without you.
That was not exactly my point.
And let's not burn Freud
in effigy just yet, either.
We're talking about
a single data point.
One woman does not a study make.
But why couldn't it
be an entire study?
We'll start when I get back.
Uh, the guide book is useless...
Unless you want to see
a seminole Indian
wrestle an alligator.
This isn't working.
I think you look nice.
No, Bill...
I... I thought that getting away
would make things better.
Libby...
We obviously have
different ways of grieving.
And you... You need your work.
And I need...
There must be
a flight out tonight.
We can come back...
in the fall.
We'll make a week of it.
I'm staying.
I don't understand.
I want to be here.
And I don't need you here
if you are more interested
in what is happening
next door or back at the office.
Well, I can't leave you...
alone.
If that is
the reason that you'd stay,
then I would rather
that you didn't.
No, I...
Bill, I'm not...
I'm not gonna argue with you.
But I'm not asking either.
Go.
Look, I skimmed
that Freud article and frankly,
a lot of it
seemed like bullshit to me...
All the stuff about mothers.
I'm not in love
with my mother, okay?
It's interesting
that that's what you took away
from the article.
Let's explore that for a moment then.
Would you say
you love your mother?
My mom has nothing to do
with my penis.
What if we were
to posit... just posit...
that this sex study
caused you to feel judged.
Well, you'd want to return
to a place free of judgment,
wouldn't you?
But this is a place
that you associate with
a kind of maternal love
which, when sexualized,
feels wrong... illicit.
So your body has short-circuited
as a means
of solving the problem for you.
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
I think you do.
No. No, I... I don't.
I... I really don't.
I think you do.
Nurse Howell,
please report to neonatal.
Virginia?
Oh, Mrs. Scully,
how nice to see you.
I, uh...was just
meeting my daughter for lunch
and thought I might pop in
and say hello.
Vivian is doing a wonderful job.
Everyone here just loves her.
Well, she says you've
been especially kind to her.
You wouldn't think a girl that pretty
would have confidence problems, but...
maybe that's the one thing
she got from me.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you
Dr. Masters is out of town.
What? Hmm?
Oh, you wanted to say hello?
T-to you.
Oh.
Would you mind if I...
No.
By the time I count to 10,
your hands better be washed.
- Henry, I mean it.
- Hello?
Virginia, it's Bill.
Oh, Bill, good...
You will never guess
who came to see me today...
Mama, Henry's making me
do all of it...
Bill, you know,
I'm actually just...
I'm getting dinner on the table
for the kids.
Do you mind if I...
if I call you right back?
I'm at home.
What's that?
I'm back. I came back.
Oh, is everything all right?
Did the... Did the weather turn?
Uh, Libby stayed.
Oh.
I think we should plan a session
for tomorrow night.
Get some data on your hypothesis.
That men are completely unnecessary.
Uh, excuse me, Miss,
would you care to join us?
It took us forever to get a table.
That would be lovely.
Thank you.
They sat us over there
first under an air vent.
I didn't know
you could freeze in Miami.
My wife detests
air-conditioning.
And he'd like
to sleep in an ice box.
May I ask you two, um, how...
How long you've been married?
180 years.
With time off for good behavior.
We met in high school.
He was captain
of the wrestling team,
and I was a pom-pom girl.
I pinned her in the first round.
Well, I think it's very romantic.
All those years and you could
still be mistaken for newlyweds.
I'll tell you the trick.
You shower your children
with love
until they're 18 years of age,
then you kick them the hell out.
Gives your marriage
a fresh coat of paint.
We have three boys. And you?
Um...I have a...
I have a boy and a girl.
Oh, well, I bet they're
both as gorgeous as their mother.
Um, well, Timmy...
Timmy is my rock and he's 12,
and Susan is 10.
Well, when they're
18 years old... out.
And tell your husband.
Um, my, um...
my husband is dead.
A plane crash.
You're still wearing his ring.
Oh, you poor lamb.
Oh, it was a...
It was a long time ago.
When it first happened,
I kept thinking...
I would wake up
and discover it was all a dream.
Then I realized it was up to me
to decide
what kind of life I would have.
God helps those
who help themselves.
It'll be a full house tonight.
And have you told them
what'll be expected of them?
One go-round
with Ulysses and one without.
There is one candidate
that I need to run by you...
Margaret Scully.
You want to enlist
the provost's wife?
She came to see me yesterday.
She seemed very anxious to make
some kind of a contribution.
I'm sure she meant financially.
Bill, she knows about the study.
And she wants to be a part of it.
And is she aware
of her husband's reservations
about the study?
I don't know.
I do know that she does not
intend to tell him about it.
She was very clear about that.
I, of course,
said I needed to check with you.
I don't think
it's a wise decision.
We let Lorraine Bach in.
Her husband's on the board.
If she wants to make
a contribution to science,
why would we turn her away?
There you are.
And what would you like?
Three more daiquiris.
Mmm. So much for lunch.
Well, you know, you got to
get your jollies while you can.
Khrushchev's got his finger
on the button.
One push and we're just dust
blowing over Aruba.
Don't be so gloomy.
I can't bear to watch the news.
I think
that Eisenhower's a weasel.
Here I thought
that you liked weasels.
Oh, uh...um...
I... I think that you have
the room next to mine.
402?
Thin walls.
My Tommy used to love that song.
# Do do-do-do do #
I used to sing him to sleep
at night.
No, is it...
Is it Tommy...or...or Timmy?
Um...
It, uh... it's, uh...
It's Thomas.
But I call him Timmy.
It's a long story.
Uh, I guess
I must've been, what?
Let's see. Um...
Al-almost 20...
My daughter's age.
And how often do you engage
in intercourse now?
I'm sorry the questions
are so personal, Margaret.
Um, if this is too awkward...
No, of course not.
It's all right.
Thank you, Bill.
Whoo, well, Barton's
a very busy man, you know.
Things tapered off...
considerably after Vivian was born.
On average,
what would you say?
We just need to quantify it
with a number.
Once a year...or less.
And what is
your orgasmic response?
Your physical response
during intercourse.
It's, you know...
Not...really painful exactly,
m-more like...uh, rubbing.
Rubbing...
It's a rubbing sensation...
that can feel
I'd say...protracted.
And this sensation,
does it build to anything...
a feeling of pleasure,
a kind of ache,
a tensing of the muscles?
There is a certain tension. Yes.
And do you experience release?
Oh, when it's over?
Absolutely... Tremendous relief.
Margaret...
Have you ever experienced
an orgasm?
I don't know.
Maybe.
You would know.
I would?
Yes.
Then, no. I guess not.
But I'm a fast learner.
I taught myself Italian.
I'm sure with a little instruction...
Unfortunately,
this study is limited
to subjects...
that have had an orgasm.
Without exception?
That is one of our baselines.
We've had to make it
a hard and fast rule
in order for the data
to be consistent.
We're investigating the
entire cycle of sexual response,
from initial excitement
through to climax.
No, of... of course.
That makes sense.
I... I understand completely.
And I... I'm... I am so sorry
to have wasted your time.
Margaret.
Bill.
Morris.
Is the, uh...
Is the music too loud?
I can turn it off.
Holy moly,
I thought our room was plush.
You could...
Well, you could park
a Cadillac in here.
Oh, listen, I, um...
I pinched this from the bar.
Barb and I thought
you just might like
to join us for a... a nightcap.
Oh,
the room would start spinning.
Well, there's a cure for that.
You just spin
in the opposite direction.
I bet you're a bang-up dancer.
Now, look at you.
You're built like a ballet dancer.
Do it.
Again.
Come here.
Maybe...
Maybe we should go meet Barb.
Well, actually, uh...
Barb turned in already
for the night.
I...told a little white lie.
Is my nose growing?
Morris...
Hmm?
I know another way
to make the room spin.
Barb is right next door.
Barb likes to listen
just like you.
What? What?
But she's your wife.
Well, your wife
is like your home...
You live there,
you know every nook and cranny.
But it's always nice to travel...
Hmm? Sleep in different beds.
You should leave
before I call my husband.
Wait a minute,
I thought your husband was dead.
Well, you misunderstood me.
Okay.
What do you call this?
Shepherd's pie.
Just sensational.
Ethan cooked dinner
for me the other night.
Oh? How was it?
He made a piece of meat
that tasted like a desk blotter.
Well, I hope you were polite.
It's always nice to be encouraging
of men's efforts in the kitchen.
Your father can't boil water.
I made an omelette once
when you had your tonsillectomy.
You ruined the wallpaper.
You ever seen the way
short-order cooks flip eggs?
We had to repaper
the whole kitchen.
It's all in the wrist.
I loved that old wallpaper.
Why don't you two
go out after dinner?
What for?
I don't know. A change of pace.
Well, it's already 7:30.
So?
Get a sundae down at Schiff's
or...go to the pictures.
"Peyton Place" is playing
at the Rialto.
So what if you haven't
finished the book?
You could make the 8:00.
Tell you what,
you go, sweetheart.
I know how much
you like those weepers.
I'd be asleep
before the second reel.
You have a minute, Dr. Masters?
I'm assuming Virginia is gone
for the evening.
Actually, no.
She went to get sandwiches.
She'll be back.
I'm sorry for missing lunch
the other day.
You and Dr. Papanikolaou
have known each other
for a long time?
When I became interested
in cytopathology at Penn,
he and I exchanged correspondence.
And he mentored you?
No.
He answered a few questions.
I've never had a mentor.
Oh. Well, they, uh...
They help, of course,
but they're not entirely necessary.
You've done excellent work
without one.
Maybe if there'd been
more women ahead of me.
Don't you find it interesting,
Dr. Masters,
that obstetrics is a field
dominated by men?
Medicine is a field
dominated by men.
And at least twice a day,
I'm mistaken for a member
of this secretary pool,
just because I'm a woman.
And yet, your secretary...
Mrs. Johnson?
Don't you mean "Dr. Johnson"?
That's how patients address her
when you're not here.
She acts like she's in charge.
She acts like a professional.
If a patient mistakes her
for a doctor,
that's likely the reason why.
Then she should handle
their mistakes
like a professional
and correct them.
Mrs. Johnson hasn't earned
those credentials
and I take offense to a woman
who uses her beauty and allure
as a substitute
for the knowledge and skill
I sacrificed years to acquire.
So, why aren't you
having this conversation
with Mrs. Johnson?
Because I respect you
as a colleague, Dr. Masters.
In fact, I admired your intellect
long before I knew you.
But at this moment,
it would seem
the mind I had so esteemed
is out-matched
by another part of your anatomy.
I can't help but wonder which
part is making the judgments.
All right, let's talk about this.
I don't want to talk.
I just want you to leave.
Just like that?
That's right.
We're not kids, we're adults.
And we're going
to behave like adults.
I kissed you, you kissed me.
That's affection, not carnality.
That's affection, not lust.
You ought to know the difference.
And what do you call a man
who thinks about nothing but...
Human.
Mrs. Scully?
Oh, Dr. Langham,
w-what a nice surprise.
Dr. Scully?
Oh, no, um, he couldn't make it.
It's not really his cup of tea.
And your pretty wife?
Oh, Elise is in bed
by 9:00...every single night...
Three kids, you know.
Me, on the other hand,
I can't fall asleep before 2:00.
Can I walk you to your car?
Oh, thank you.
So, what do you for that...
Your insomnia?
Go to movies...
Doesn't matter which ones.
Um, swim laps
at the university pool.
The pool was closed tonight.
I used to swim in college...
The one place being tall
actually worked to my advantage.
I'm just up ahead.
Sometimes, if I can't sleep,
I just walk
around the neighborhood.
You know what's strange,
when you're outside looking in,
there's always a glow
to someone else's house.
But when it's you inside,
you can't imagine anyone
looking through your window
and seeing it that way.
I'm sorry, that's not...
I don't know what I'm saying.
That made perfect sense to me.
It did?
You're a deep thinker.
Well, not really, not me.
I failed my boards twice.
I shouldn't go telling that
to the provost's wife, though.
I can keep a secret.
Oh, you were probably
just nervous.
I get nervous taking an eye exam.
I, um...
I participated
in this study recently...
It wasn't a test exactly...
but it was kind of, um...
a performance evaluation.
The pressure really got to me.
A study at the hospital?
Doesn't matter.
Whenever my daughter
has a test, I tell her
to just close your eyes,
take a deep breath,
and remember you know
more than you think you do.
It all comes back to you
when you can just...relax.
This is me.
Say, um, I didn't ask you.
What'd you think of the movie?
I'm such a sap.
I cried through the whole thing,
can't you tell?
I don't usually look like this...
Look like what?
Like...
Like this.
Yes.
Did you get what you wanted?
We did. Thank you.
I'm in nursing school actually.
Oh?
So all of this
is really interesting to me.
It's funny. I thought
you were a doctor before.
Me? Oh, no.
Oh, you act like one...
Like you could've gone
to medical school.
Instead I got married.
And divorced...twice. Had kids.
I didn't know I was good at this
before it was too late.
Well, I'm not getting
married till I'm 36. I've decided.
Besides, I can take care of myself.
In more ways than one, I guess.
Let's hope there are
more and more like you.
'Cause when a woman can please herself
as well as man can, or better...
it's a brave new world.
How many more until there's
an adequate sampling...
50? 75?
I don't want you
as my secretary anymore.
What?
I've given this serious thought.
Are you firing me?
Again? Bill...
I think you should have
a different title.
One that reflects
the work you're doing.
'Cause you're not
just a secretary, are you?
What am I?
You're a research assistant.
And you're a very good one.
I'm not giving you a raise
or your own separate office,
but we'll get someone in
who can assist us both...
A secretary.
With a secretary, I could...
I could just focus on the work.
Well,
it seems like the right time.
So then you agree
that we're on to something.
It's not science to operate
from a series
of unproven assumptions.
That's dogma...
like, one form of orgasm
is immature, another is mature.
Which we've just
scientifically proved is not science.
But there are other assumptions.
For example,
how long do elderly people
remain sexually active?
Now, the general assumption is
that the course of a sex life
ends around 60.
But I've got two 70-year-olds
in Miami who are living proof
that that's something
we should investigate.
Here's another question...
Why can some women orgasm
without any genital stimulation
whatsoever?
- Can they?
- Jane can.
Jane can orgasm
just having her breasts touched.
That I find hard to believe.
You don't have to
because we could test it here.
Couldn't we?
We could.
There was a woman on the road
who could orgasm by putting
a Q-tip in her ear.
And there was a woman tonight
who wrote on her questionnaire
that she can climax
while brushing her teeth.
Sexual pleasure
via good hygiene? Okay.
Men can climax in their dreams.
Women can, too.
So I think your
new job description is clear...
Keep asking questions.
That's what
a good researcher does.
Although, orgasming
having your breasts touched...
I'd need to see proof of that.
We're scientists.
Let's see.