Masters of Sex (2013–2016): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

[M] If the nightingales
could sing like you [M]

[M] They'd sing much sweeter
than they do [M]

[M] For you brought
a new kind of love to me [M]

[M] If the sandman
brought me dreams of you [M]

[M] I'd want to sleep
my whole life through [M]

Has set
a new standard in the midwest...

The highest standard.

So high that even our friends
on the coasts

are now paying attention.

The man that we're honoring
this evening

is a visionary
in every sense of the word.



I have known him since

he was a resident
here at Washington.

He was opinionated
and hardheaded even then.

His constant innovations
to obstetric surgery

have earned him

dominance in the field.

If there's one thing I hear
during the course of my day,

it's, "thanks to him,
we have a family."

Ladies and gentlemen,

Dr. William Masters.

I am, uh...

A man of science.

Which is why I'll let my friend
provost Scully

supply the words tonight.



Most regrettably, I have to go.

It turns out
I'm working this evening.

Bill Masters has yet to devise

the baby guaranteed to arrive
during business hours.

But mark my words. He will.

But I do thank you.

I thank you for
honoring me here tonight.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

So good.

Ernie, you're a fucking animal.

- Oh, my God. Ohh.

Oh, my God. So good.
Oh, my God. I'm gonna come.

Aah! Aah!

- Aah! Aah!
- Oh, my God.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Oh. Good for you.

Arousal states
for clients 1 and 6

were instantaneous.

4 took ten minutes,
making him the slowest.

7 achieved no arousal at all.

The last client... how long did
he stay in the plateau state?

For-fucking-ever.

I have 11 minutes.

Well, you're the expert.

Your napkin
actually goes in your lap.

From a man standing in a closet

watching people hump all night.

It's work.

- Oh, really?
- Which reminds me...

You might consider
keeping a journal.

You could time
a lot of this yourself,

even if it's counting
in your head.

What is the matter
with you? Seriously.

I can't be there every night.

Ah!
We were getting so close.

Client 8...

Uh...

I have your climax lasted
approximately 9 seconds.

I was faking.

You didn't have an orgasm?

- You're serious now?
- Yes, I'm serious.

You...
Pretended to have an orgasm?

Is that a-a common practice
amongst prostitutes?

It's a common practice
amongst anyone with a twat.

Women fake orgasms...
almost all of them.

Although I haven't checked
my clipboard lately.

But why?
W-why would a woman lie

about something like that?

God almighty. This is...

Okay.

I'm gonna be honest with you,

but only 'cause I like you

and you seem real dedicated
about your project,

in your penguin suit and all,
with the charts and the timer.

But seriously, if you really
want to learn about sex,

then you're gonna have to get
yourself a female partner.

Have you seen her?

She's gorgeous.

And they placed her
in our department.

Insurance processing.

Right outside the elevators,

which makes it very convenient
to casually run into her.

Anyway, rumor is the new girl's
just now getting divorced.

Ex-husband's a band leader.

She was his singer,

so she's probably dying
for something stable.

This E.E.G. isn't...

You're not still going ahead
with that, are you?

Going ahead and
about to enter the second phase.

Support for the project grows
every day.

Support from...?

Scully is gonna present
my proposal to the board.

In the meantime,
I'm looking for volunteers.

I say this
with the greatest respect, bill,

even affection,

but this study of yours
is doomed.

Want to bet?

Scully will sooner
approve a trip to the moon.

H-How will he even begin
to defend this to the board?

He won't have to.

Project's gonna be conducted
in perfect secrecy.

In a teaching hospital,
where no one ever gossips.

Come meet the new girl with me.

Do you not have
patients, Dr. Haas?

Because I will gladly
reassign yours to Dr. Evans

if you're too busy.

I'll be in my office.

And your secret here
is safe with me. Obviously.

Obviously.

Dr. Masters.

The interviews you've requested

appear to be
secretarial candidates.

Now, either we're adding staff
to our office,

or I'm being replaced.

Would you care to clarify?

The job has changed,
miss horchow.

Why wouldn't I
be right for this new job?

Because I have
another new study pending,

one that requires a secretary
not at all...

Squeamish.

I grew up on
a farm. I've beheaded chickens.

Oh, I can imagine.

But did you ever see one of
those chickens fake an orgasm?

More importantly,
do you know why a woman

would fake an orgasm?

Because that's one of
the questions I hope to answer.

This new job will require

taking sexual histories
in intimate, explicit detail.

And to be honest,
you don't seem the kind of woman

that would cotton
to such a task.

I'm not sure
what kind of woman would.

I'm not sure what kind of woman

could hold her head up
in church every Sunday

knowing she'd spent
the entire week talking smut!

Science.

Slap on
whatever fancy term you like.

I'll schedule the first round of
interviews as early as tomorrow.

Thank you, miss...

[M]On a day [M]

Horchow.

[M] Like today [M]

[M] We pass the time away [M]

[M] Writing love letters [M]

[M] In the sand [M]

[M] How you laughed when I cried [M]

[M] Each time I saw the tide [M]

[M] Take our love letters [M]

[M] From the sand [M]

[M] You made a vow [M]

Daddy.

On time tonight.

That alone
is cause for celebration.

[M] But somehow [M]

Candles usually mean guests.

Mm, not tonight.
Just us two.

You took your temperature?

Uh-huh.

That doesn't mean
you have to make a soufflé, lib.

Oh, it's romantic.
I-it's chocolate.

Chocolate makes people
feel, um...

[M] Every wave that breaks [M]

Quick prayer first, daddy. Mm?

Dear lord...

Please bring us the baby
we already love and adore.

Amen.

Here's my card.

My work extension's
on the front.

Home number's on the back...
my empty home.

Sad home, where no one
is waiting for me.

I have two children
waiting for me.

Well, maybe...
Are your kids friendly?

'Cause maybe they'll take pity
on me and invite me in.

I do appreciate
the ride, Dr. Haas.

- Ethan.
- Ethan.

And I'll take that to
mean you'd like me to shove off.

No, actually,
I look forward to knowing you

and maybe even becoming friends.

- Friends.
- Yes.

That's all my life
can accommodate right now.

I must look like an idiot.

But the truth is...

All I could think about
the entire drive home

was kissing you.

Well, friends can kiss.

On your bottom now.
Knees to chest.

We could look
in each other's eyes sometimes.

Once you're pregnant.

Until then...

This is the most effective
position.

Daddy.

What do you see
when you look at me?

Love.

Love?

It was like something
out of a movie...

That kind of movie.

First, I get
the "just friends" speech.

Next thing I know, she invites
me in, and I get a blow job.

Right there on the couch.

Fellatio.

I know what it is.

What it is is incredible!

These are the insured patients.

Dr. Phillips insists
that these files

be kept separate
from the ward patients,

who are walk-ins
and usually poor.

Dr. Hunt... he wants
all his files kept in storage.

I need a directory.

I need to know
all the doctors' names,

their departments, their titles.

Their quirks, their
incomes, their marital status,

their availability
despite their marital status.

For example, if I
wanted to know about Dr. Haas...

You would go to obstetrics.

Dr. Ethan Haas.
First-year fellow. Ob-gyn.

He's one of the young pups.

And his boss is...?

Dr. William Masters.

He's the Alpha dog
of coochie medicine.

It was so sexy. Jesus.

But what does it mean?

What does a blow job mean?

What are you... a girl?

Okay, who cares what
it means and why she did it?

Although I do think
it's the rare bird

that is both elegant and smart

and volunteers
that kind of thing.

All I do know for sure is
I am going to marry that woman.

Come in.

Code blue in the E.R.,
Dr. Masters.

C-section, bleeding out.

Scrub up and assist, Dr. Haas.

Yes. I'm right behind you.

I want to show you something...
your man in action.

She's lost over 4,000CC, bill.

Placenta accreta?

Yes, but the hemorrhaging...

How long
has she been on the table?

Uh, 98 minutes.

- How many bottles?
- Four.

Two more. 500CC.
Another on deck.

- Heart rate?
- 140.

- What's the pressure?
- 70 over palp.

Which one
of you geniuses is her doctor?

She's on the negro ward.

You didn't get
all the placenta, for starters.

- 12 gauze packs.
- I already used 12.

12 more!
And a scalpel... number 5.

Suture.

I'll deliver these on my break.

Let the messenger boys do that.

Dr. Masters.
We haven't yet met.

Are you here to interview

or on some other business?

Can you squeeze me in now?

I'm sure it seems unorthodox,

going from nightclub singer
to secretary,

but I-I can assure you

I am very capable, organized.

- I'm the hardest worker I know.
- You don't know me.

Well, I assume
that comes with the job.

Any medical education?

I was an undergrad
at drury college.

- Studying...?
- Music.

So you graduated with a B.A.?

Actually, marriage interfered

before I could graduate.

But I am enrolled in classes
now, here at the university.

I'll have my degree
by year's end.

- In...?
- Sciences.

Behavioral science.

Interference.

You didn't want to get married?

Are we talking
about my husbands again?

So there's more than one?

Two.

I stopped at two.

So, the first marriage
was for interference.

The second was for...?

Children.
I have a boy and a girl.

Is that unusual?

I believe
that's average, statistically.

Is it unusual
that you didn't marry for love

in either marriage?

You're surrounded by women.

Perhaps you could best answer
that question.

I'm curious
as to what you have to say.

Well, good housekeeping quizzes

tell you that women marry
for love...

What they think is love.

But I think that women
often confuse love

with physical attraction.

- Sex.
- Yes.

Women often think that sex
and love are the same thing.

But they don't have to be.

They don't even
have to go together.

Sex can be perfectly good
on its own, whereas love is...

I don't think
I've ever heard a woman

express such an opinion.

It's not a theory
I trot out at dinner parties.

You're a doctor.

I'm guessing
you're not easily flustered.

Did she live?

The woman in surgery today?

Yes.

And would she have
died had you not stepped in?

Yes.

Then I envy you.

That's a day well spent.

They're very strict
about my break.

Since you brought up
the subject of sex...

Actually, you did.

Why would a woman
fake an orgasm?

To get a man to climax quickly.

Usually so the woman
can get back

to whatever it is
she'd rather be doing.

I know it's late, but I need
to sign up for classes now...

Get myself in the system,

officially registered
as a student.

I was thinking
my emphasis of study

could be nature versus nurture.

I recently read an article
on the subject.

I found it very informative.

We don't offer that as a major.

Well, not as a major,
necessarily.

But it must fall
in the department

of behavioral sciences
or something.

We don't have a department
of behavioral sciences.

Well...

The article
was very interesting.

It made me look at my own
children in a whole new light.

My advice?

Go home to your children and
figure out what you really want.

I want a degree.

In an interesting subject...
something important.

When I was your age,

I thought my children
were important.

Do you have
a sociology department?

Well, then I'd like you
to sign me up

in the sociology department
as an undeclared major.

Now.

I did promise
to present this to the board,

but that was before I read it.

You do know what's in here?

I wrote it

specifically to showcase this
as a physiological study.

It's smut, bill.

That's how every board member
will see it...

As pornography or prostitution
or something equally depraved.

You didn't even show it to them.

Because I live
in the real world.

Where there are libraries
on how babies are born

and not a single study
on how babies are made.

We are doctors,
for Christ's sakes,

and I-I simply want to answer
the question...

What happens
to the body during sex?

By using live subjects
flopping around on beds.

- "Flopping."
Self-stimulating.

Monitored for the collection
of physiological data!

Oh, for goodness' sake,
bill, why are you doing this?

Your practice is the envy of
every doctor in this hospital.

My practice is
a revolving door of cripples,

women disappointed, confused,
even tortured by sex.

They're desperate for help.

Do you know what advice
I have to offer?

"Get a divorce,
get used to it, or cheat."

Let psychiatrists
help those women.

It's not medicine!

It is medicine,

and I am so far
out in front of it,

I'm the only one who sees it.

I want the truth.

I want to make my name
in uncharted territory.

I...

I want a Nobel prize.

Then this discussion is over.

This study will never be seen
as serious science,

and you will be labeled
a pervert.

You can thank me later
for saving you from yourself.

"The Ed Sullivan show."

Imagine what my mother would say

if she could see this boy.

Ahh. I need to go out.

Now?
Your dinner's in the warmer.

Slide it all in the sink.

I want my Martini shaken by vito
tonight.

What happened?

You look...

Uh...

Scully refuses
to present my study.

Which study?

It's about how
the human body responds to...

Various physical stimuli.

Don't make me explain this now.

I want a drink, then
I want another drink, then...

Lib?

I had a visitor.

But you said your
basal temp spiked last night.

That puts you mid-cycle,
not starting a new one.

Do we have to discuss...

But if you don't
correctly monitor...

So t-tired of feeling like

a failure at the one thing
that we want most.

Two years, and nothing.

Why can't I have a baby?

Why... why can't I give
my husband a child?

Lib, hon.

Let's not...

My wife is coming in next week.

We've decided she'll join
my cervical-cap trial.

We've had great success with it,
and I'd appreciate it

if you help us
through the admissions process.

Of course.

I'm sorry. I can imagine
infertility is very stressful.

For Libby, it is, yes.

But not for you?

Libby has a reproductive tract
incompatible with conception,

which is stressful for her.

And it's certainly no secret
that infertility is distracting

while at the same time being
endlessly tedious and annoying.

For her.

Anyway, I've helped
so many other couples conceive.

It seems impossible
I can't help my own wife.

Yes, it does seem unlikely.

Anyway, my shift
ended an hour ago.

Right. You can go.

But don't get too used to
regular hours in this office.

Reproduction is
a 'round-the-clock business.

I warned her
you're a slave driver.

I don't mind the long hours.

I just need some warning to make
arrangements for my children.

Good work today.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, we had a deal.
We had a deal.

But I've never done that before.

Did what I do to you feel good?

Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?

Then you do the same thing
to me.

You don't have a penis.

Is that what they taught you
in medical school?

I'm not finding school
very helpful right now.

Confidence, doctor.
That's the key.

- Confidence.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, my God.
This is even sexier.

Shut up, Ethan.

- What?
- Shut up.

Too much talking?

It's good.

- It's great.
- Really?

I want more. More.

You are the most beautiful
creature I have ever seen.

Surgery went well.

I can see it...
the nurses.

They're thinking, "why is she
not in the negro ward?"

You're not in the negro
ward because I moved you here.

This is where
you'll get the best care.

That baby was everything.

You'll have another.

They told me I can't.

Mrs. May, I'm your doctor now.

And when I say
I will work day and night

until you leave this hospital
with a baby in your arms,

that's what I will do.

Of course, I didn't admit

I have no idea
what a cervical cap is.

It's a device
Masters invented himself.

It's basically a-a rubber cap
that takes dud sperm

and places it
right against the cervix.

"Dud" sperm?

Mm-hmm.

Or in Masters' case, no sperm.

Most of the men in the study
have a low sperm count.

Masters' is close to zero.

No. No. He told me himself.

His wife is the one
with the problem.

Don't take it personally.

I mean, I love bill.
He's taught me so much.

Championed me as a resident.

I owe him everything, really.

- But his ego...

There is no way
the great bill Masters

is going to admit
he's shooting blanks.

You looked in his file.

It was right there.

Mm.

I hope my lab coat
hides the fact

I'll be wearing the same clothes
two days in a row.

Ethan.

I said that we'd be friends.

And I meant it.

That sounds ominous.

No, it would just be...

It would be confusing
for my kids

and awkward for us
if you stayed.

So I'm not spending the night.

You're kicking me out.

I can make you coffee
for the road.

Coffee.

Uh, no. Thanks.

It's not like
I pressure her into it.

- In fact, she pressures me.
- How traumatic for you.

Scar tissue
on the anterior wall.

And it's like...

The kind of sex you have
when you're married.

Or on your honeymoon,
I'm guessing.

Or like sex with a prostitute.

Not that I've ever been
with a prostitute, but...

Jesus Christ. I need your help.

Mrs. May needs my help.

Mrs. May wants a baby

and, off this,
I'd put her chances at 10%.

You might be able to
remove the lesions surgically.

Bill, I'm in love with her.
I don't know what to do.

I'd be a terrible cupid.

But you see "Gini" every day.

Maybe you could put in
a good word for me.

So we can both
look like we're 12?

I am crazy about her,
but she's killing me.

I mean, what is it she wants?

What does the woman
you're sleeping with want?

The riddle of life itself
can't come close

to the unfathomable mystery
of that question.

We start with the intake forms.

The procedure itself
comes later.

Being married to bill

can often feel like
a spectator sport.

I-I just mean
you attract attention

whether you want to or not.

The garden
in the courtyard is nice.

We can sit there, like two
girlfriends, fill out the forms.

No one will be the wiser.
How does that sound?

There are magazines, a pillow.

It helps if you put it
under your knees.

You've been so kind,
Mrs. Johnson.

Call me Virginia... Gini.

I'll tell my husband

you're his new secret weapon,
Gini.

The doc wanted me
to be the last one in tonight.

Right.

Betty Dimello.

I see you've started
on the intake forms.

Uh, only the name
and address stuff.

The other questions,
you can answer.

The other questions
are your medical history.

Oh.
How about I talk and you write?

Okay.

Let's start with infertility.

Meaning?

Meaning, how long have
you been trying to get pregnant?

Have you ever been pregnant?

Do you have a history
of miscarriages?

I've had three pregnancies
taken care of, if you follow.

Two years ago,
I had my tubes tied.

Please put miss Dimello
in room 5.

Tell Dr. Haas to meet me
in my examining room.

The cap is small,

but sometimes fitting it
can be uncomfortable.

A sharp pinch, apparently.

Well, you'll tell me
when it's over.

I won't be the one fitting it.

It's against hospital protocol
to treat a family member.

Since when do you care
about protocol?

I let you follow
the rules so I can break them.

Isn't that the deal?

Careful, bill.

Careful about making me
the boring one.

You're the tough one, lib.

I think we learned that
long ago.

Mrs. Masters.

This must mean
you're doing the honors, Ethan.

Stay for a minute,
can't you, daddy?

I have a-a patient waiting,

but I-I'll check in on you
later.

No one can replace your husband.

But I have done this many times,

and so far,
not a single complaint.

Scoot all the way to the end
for me.

Thank you.

Guess I'm your first Guinea pig.

My first Guinea pig

was year two of medical school.

Then came rabbits.

But, yes,
you're my first human subject

on day one of my new study.

I appreciate your coming.

You're paying.

My mother always said I'd end up
in the electric chair.

There's a reason the
French call it "la petite mort."

We got everything we need?

E.K.G., E.E.G.

Vibrator?

You said nothing
about a vibrator.

This is why I keep telling you
why you need a female partner.

I'm working on it.

Do you at least
have any magazines?

I do... for men.

Okay.

With pictures of women.

- Good.
- Naked.

Even better.

When I have sex, on my own time,
I have sex with women.

With Helen, in fact.

Helen is my lover.

So, who's your lover?
You must love somebody.

- I'm married.
- That's an answer?

That's my personal life,

which is of no interest to you
or anyone else.

I'll get those magazines.

Miss Dimello is a patient.

I learned long ago not to judge.

But I do like your wife.

And she is down the hall
enduring infertility treatments,

which is why this all does seem
a bit insensitive on your part,

if I May be so blunt.

Next time you're blunt,

you might also try being right.

I hired you
because I need an assistant

and because I suspect you might
have a gift for the work.

That said,
if you're uncomfortable

with what I'm doing here,
speak now,

and I can make
other arrangements.

I'm not sure
what it is you're doing.

I'm wiring miss Dimello

to monitor her pulse,
heart rate, and brain waves

to illuminate to my patients,
and to the general community,

what happens to the body during
sexual stimulation and orgasm.

The magazines are to help
with the stimulation part,

because unbeknownst to me,
miss Dimello prefers women,

which, to be Frank, concerns me

because it May, in fact,
throw off my data.

Why would it
throw off your data?

Isn't an orgasm an orgasm?

That is one of the many
questions I hope to answer.

But as she is my only subject,

it really means
I have no choice,

whatever her orientation.

So are you interested in the job
or not?

I'm not sure why you chose me.

Instinct.

Even though
I don't have a college degree

or know anything
about biology or anatomy.

I can teach you.

If you picked a female M.D.,
she'd know all of this already.

A woman doctor would
never jeopardize her career

on such a risky subject.

You're jeopardizing yours?

The study is not approved.

So, yes...

My career is in Jeopardy.

I'm going ahead anyway.

How can I help?

But he must have
given you the details.

Well, he did.
But it's confidential.

He said
I could only talk about it

with women who were willing
to volunteer.

Volunteer for... for what?

The study is about sex...

Things that
we've always suspected

but never had proven
scientifically.

It's a whole new world
that we're opening up.

Groundbreaking.

Very exciting,
for women especially.

It will probably be the biggest
change to women's lives

since the right to vote.

Really?

The first two pages
and the last one, okay?

Okay.

Sure.

Our new volunteer
starts tomorrow.

I just feel lucky
you could fit me in at all.

Gini told me there is quite
a waiting list for volunteers.

Right.

Quite a list.

As to how we'll proceed today,

it's important to go over
some ground rules.

You don't have to.

Gini already explained them
to me.

It's interesting.

When you look at the data,
you get a very clear picture

of what's happening
to the subject physically.

But if you want to answer
a question like,

"how does an orgasm feel
for a woman?"

It's not so easy to see it
in the numbers.

How does it feel?

It's like
trying to describe salt

to someone
who's never tasted salt.

I've tasted salt.

Not the way I've tasted salt.

Go ahead.

How does an orgasm
feel for a woman?

Fantastic.

First thing we retract
is this tissue here.

This is the omentum.

This is the bowel.

Once that's secured...

we move to what's called
the vesicouterine fold.

We know what it's called, bill.

I retract
the vesicouterine fold

to expose this shiny,
grapefruit-sized mass here,

which is the uterus.

Number 10 scalpel.

Is that the end of the lesson?

Dr. langham.
Can I help you?

No. No. I'm fine.
I-I was just, uh...

Listening to our exam room.

There's some money trading hands
about what's going on in there.

- I don't know if you knew that.
- I didn't.

I think maybe
a decorator is in there now,

moving furniture.

I hope you're not out a lot.

20 bucks.

If I can make
the camera small enough,

it'll allow the viewer

to actually witness it
in real time.

But can you vary
the size of the device?

Because this looks big.

And some women
can accommodate big

much better than others,
of course.

Of course.

I thought
we put this matter to bed.

This is work
I've been doing on my own time.

An extracurricular hobby,

like model building or macramé.

Bill, I said no. I meant no.

What part of that
do you not understand?

The part that still
believes you're a scientist.

All I am asking is that
you take off your management hat

for five minutes.

Let me show you what any real
scientist would kill to see.

We call it "ulysses,"

after the Kirk Douglas movie
with the giant cyclops.

It even assists
with stimulation.

I don't like
where this is going.

I designed ulysses myself,

using cold-light illumination

and with a miniature camera lens
attached inside.

Who else is doing this? No one.

Who will be doing it
in five years?

Everyone.

I don't think
this is a good idea.

Jane, relax. Deep breath.

It'll be just like
all the other times.

Except the provost
of the entire university

will be watching me.

No. He's not watching you.

He's watching science.

Best seat in the house.

Now, the patient controls
ulysses herself.

The only thing you have to do
is lean in close, like this,

so you get the best possible
view through the lens.

But not too close,
or you'll get poked in the eye.

You're saying
watch out for the dildo.

Just think of yourself
as sir Edmund Hillary

leaving base camp.

Whenever you're ready, J...
miss.

Thank you.

It's, uh...

Well, it's a remarkable feat.

Which is why it's time
to go public, barton.

Time to submit this proposal
to the board.

Damn it. You promised me.

I did not promise...

A study where a naked woman

mounts a mechanical phallus!

What we've done here is
revolutionary. You know it is.

It's not just the technology.

The new data we're collecting
dispels years of myths

about how a woman's body
anticipates sex.

We've already debunked
many established theories,

plus charted clear-cut stages of
sexual response... four in all.

We're starting to see that some women
are capable of multiple orgasms.

Why does your secretary
keep talking to me?

I already gave you my answer.

It's not an answer I can accept.

I've made this hospital
a fortune.

Our patient base has tripled.

We're ranked second
in the country.

Our donors can't write checks
fast enough,

in large part because of me.

I got us to where we are now.

And this study,
this is where we're going.

This is the future.

But if you won't support me
in... in blazing that trail,

then I'll find another hospital
that will.

Dangerous game you're playing.

Oh, it's not a game.

I need an answer
by the end of today.

He's not gonna call.

Ethan, I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.

You're not even dressed yet.

Is this about the nicu benefit?

For God's sake, Ethan, go ahead.

Gini can come
with Libby and me later.

Libby's had me over
twice this week.

I'm sure she'd like time alone.

And I would like a date.

So I can wait
another 15 minutes.

Well, we have
another hour here at least.

I'll meet you there. Okay?

See you there.

I thought
you'd broken that off.

Broken what off?
We're friends.

Because our
professionalism and standards

have to be beyond reproach,
Virginia.

You know, this is not research
into kidney disease,

which might survive
some incident

of inner-departmental scandal.

This study is the scandal.

So even a hint of impropriety

could derail all our work now,
everything that's to come.

I understand
you're upset about Scully.

I'm not talking about Scully!

Now, given that every museum
in the world is filled with art

created from this basic impulse,

the greatest literature...

The most beautiful music.

The study of sex is the study
of the beginning of all life,

and science holds the key.

Yet we sit huddled in the dark
like prudish cavemen,

filled with shame
and... and... Guilt...

when the truth is,
nobody understands sex.

And now nobody will.

It's late. Let's go.

Masters.

I'm just so happy
that you and barton made up.

It wasn't exactly
valentines and roses.

But bill can be very persuasive,
as you know.

I persuaded her to marry me.

And now I'm persuading her

to find some champagne
so we can celebrate.

I'll go with you, lib.

It's a good day.

Would you
have done it? Leave, I mean?

Scully's the one that folded.

I don't have to show my hand.

I've been
asking around about langham.

He's married,
but he's also had affairs.

Apparently,
nurses are his weakness.

Maybe I should talk to him.

You?

- Langham's a doctor.
- So are you.

I insinuated my way in with you
easily enough.

You're forgetting
that I picked you for this job.

If that's what
you need to tell yourself.

See if you can get him
away from his wife.

I'll find you later.

And then you have to lay there,

you know, with your legs
up around your ears,

everything completely exposed.

It hurts, like cramping,
only worse.

They've taken my blood so many times,
one of my veins has collapsed.

Lib, all of the pain...
it will all be worth it.

I promise.

Honestly...

I think he needs it
more than I do.

I mean, not the poking
and prodding, of course,

but the baby.

Bill appreciates me.

Having a wife grounds him,
I think.

But a child?

A child could really change him.

Anyway, it annoys him to no end,

but I do apologize every day.

Here he is,
this brilliant doctor,

stuck with a barren wife.

I'll be back in one moment.

You wanted to know
what was going on in room 5.

That, um...

Exceeded my expectations.

I'm flattered,

although, honestly, I don't
think I could stand there

and, you know, wank off
while people are watching.

That's not what this is.

The phase we're considering you
for is couples.

Coup... couples?

Dear God. M-my wife
barely lets me see her naked.

We don't mean
you and your wife.

I'm in the process of recruiting

several new female volunteers.

Which females?

We preserve the anonymity

of all of our volunteers.

But I already have a secretary,

and I've spoken with a nurse

and a hospital administrator's
wife.

Come on.

Only hookers and insane co-eds
would agree to this.

I resent that.

Have you signed on?

I am Dr. Masters' associate.

Otherwise, I would have no
reservations about volunteering.

All of our subjects know they're
advancing the cause of science.

These are young,
good-looking women.

Austin, trust me on this.

I don't know.

This whole thing feels like...

Christmas or something.

Gini!

I need to talk to you.

Hello, Ethan.
We're working here.

Yes, your wife told me.

Your wife, who's been standing
by herself at the bar

the last 20 minutes.

I'll be back
in a moment, gentlemen.

But, yes...

Merry Christmas to us all.

Ethan, let go of me!
You're hurting me!

No! Tell me!
You can't answer, can you?

How many times
have we slept together?

Just come back inside with me.

It's not that tough a question.

How many times
have you let me fuck you?

We are not going to
have this conversation now.

When is a good time, Virginia?

Because I haven't seen you
in weeks.

You see me every day.

I haven't seen you alone!

You work late every night!
You ride home now

- with that bow-tied asshole!
- Shh!

I come over,
I get some bullshit excuse.

It's not an excuse.
I'm busy. The study is expa...

I don't care about the study!

Please. Don't do this.

Don't not talk to me.
Just tell me.

- What?!
- Tell me...

What? Tell you what?

That I don't like being dragged out here in
the cold when you're drunk and insulting?

Why would I insult you
when you're all I think about?!

I have been in your bed.
I have been inside you.

Please.

What am I not doing?

Or doing too much of?

You know, what can I do better?

Ethan, please.
You are my friend.

Oh, Jesus Christ.
Do not say "friend."

You are!
You are my friend!

Friends don't fuck, Virginia.

Lovers do.

People in love with each other,
they do.

I care about you, Ethan.

But you don't love me.

You'll make love to me.

You'll let me do anything,
everything to you.

It's because I like
it, because you like it.

I do it because I love you.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I hurt you.

That was never my intention.

That's enough!

Fine.

Fine.
Wear the lab coat, Virginia.

Run the study.
Play doctor all you want.

At the end of the day,
all you really are is a whore.

Mrs. May.

Are you all right?

I'm going to have a baby.

Another baby.

That is such happy news.

So, so happy. Oh!

Once you two get settled,

I will attach the leads.

While we just lay there naked?

There's a sheet,
if you're feeling shy.

We'll see how it goes.

That's the fun of being first.

Fun!

Hi. Nice to meet you.

I'm, uh... Anonymous.

What a coincidence.
I'm anonymous, too.

I'll take your gowns.

Make yourselves
comfortable on the bed.

Now, there really are no rules

in terms of what you can
and can't do.

You simply need to move
through all four stages

so we can monitor the response.

We start with excitement.

- Moving right along...

To plateau,
which is usually intercourse,

but can also be more foreplay.

Then orgasmic...

That's self-explanatory,
I think.

Ending with refractory,

the body's
physiological reflexes

returning back to normal.

All of this comes
very naturally,

so I wouldn't get
too in your head about it.

Too late for that.

Your other head.

And, uh, all the wires?

I would advise going slowly.

More fun that way.

Now, whenever you two are ready.

Your cheekbone is bruised.

Watch out
for open medicine cabinets.

You can go
like... like this.

Can I kiss you?

Oh! You know,
I think we did meet once...

Dr. Shaw's birthday party.

Right. You were
the one with clothes on.

I do have one concern...

About the possibility
of sexual transference

between us and our patients.

We're going to be
watching couples have sex,

and those couples know
we're watching them.

But the likelihood
of us transferring

all this libidinous energy
onto our patients is high.

Is this something
you're struggling with?

No, but I could see
the beginnings of it already

between you and langham.

He was flirting with you...

- What?
- ...And you responded.

I was trying
to make him feel comfortable.

He was sitting there
with an erection.

Which is why we need
to implement a system, uh,

that ensures this kind of
transference doesn't occur.

It didn't occur.

So you won't object
to devising a-a system

that avoids
any doctor/patient conflict.

I won't object,
but why don't you just come out

and say whatever it is
you're trying to say?

The two of us should undertake
the research ourselves.

Have sex with our patients?

Bill, that would be
transference.

We should undertake
the research with each other.

I've considered this carefully,

and I-I realized
it's the best way

to ensure the longevity
of the project.

We get the benefit of
interpreting the data firsthand,

plus, it deflects
any inappropriate projection

away from our patients.

Keeps it just between us.

Can I take the weekend
to think about this?

Of course.

All right.

Good night, then.

Good night.