Masters of Horror (2005–2007): Season 2, Episode 12 - The Washingtonians - full transcript

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Oh, my.

Look at the mess that
you're making.

When did my princess turn
into such a little slob, huh?

Just like her daddy.

Come on!

Wake up, people, and give
me a break, will you?

You people should know me
better than that by now.

George Rathbun
speaks the truth!

The simple truth.

I am amazed. No, I
am flabbergasted,



at how many American
citizens continue to believe

the horse crap our
government is feeding us!

Okay, folks.

Take a deep breath
and listen to me!

During the first gulf war there were
something like 120, 000 Iraqis killed,

and despite what we
did or did not hear,

not all of them were soldiers
or little Husseins in training.

Many of them were just
ordinary men, women,

and children who happened
to live in the same

geographical areas in which
we were dropping our bombs.

Now, did we know that?

No, we certainly
did not! And why?

I'll tell you why.

Because our news is controlled
and filtered by our government.



Did you see
bodies on the news?

Are we there yet?

Almost, baby.

Can we turn that off?

that man's given
me a headache.

Well, all that talk about dead bodies and
blood might be a bit much, don't you think?

Sorry about that.

It's just a long drive.

That's okay.

Here it is.

Do you remember it, Amy?

Yeah. I remember.

It gave me the
creeps back then,

and it's giving me the
creeps right now.

Remember what we
talked about?

Try not to be scared
of everything.

Try to be brave.

I'm not scared, daddy.

I promise.

Hello?

That must be the guy's car
I talked to on the phone.

Hello!

Is anybody there?

Sir?

Well, hey there, folks.

I never heard
you drive up.

Sorry to
interrupt your nap.

No, no need to
be sorry, son.

I always like to
see new faces,

especially when they're
as pretty as these two.

I'm Mike Franks.

I believe we spoke
on the phone.

Mr. Franks, I am so
sorry for your loss.

I knew your grandmother
very well.

She was a special lady.

It's never easy when someone
crosses over to the other side.

But I thank the lord she swept off that
mortal coil without any pain or suffering.

We should all be so lucky.

Thank you.

This is my wife
Pam and my daughter Amy.

And I am Samuel
Madison III,

and it is my
honor to meet you

and you family

and little miss cupcake.

You can call me Sam.

It's okay, Amy. You
can shake his hand.

This one's scared of
her own shadow.

And a pretty
little shadow it must be.

I do
believe--

I do believe these
belong to you now.

We can process the necessary
paperwork after the service.

No rush on my end.

I just hope you have a
peaceful stay as can be.

Now, I have
been saving this

for just the
most perfect day

for just the
most perfect occasion.

I think I'd like to
give it to you.

It's my favorite flavour.

Cherry.

Thank you, Sam.

Just let me know if there's
anything else I can do for you folks.

I think I just
better mosey yonder on.

Thank you.

I told you, you don't need
to be scared of everyone.

Not everyone's going to
reach out and bite you.

Come on.

Great grams used to make the
best chocolate fudge brownies.

She used to put those
little sprinkles on top.

Oh, they were so yummy.

I don't remember them.

The car's unpacked.

Anybody hungry?

I have to
use the bathroom.

It's down the
hallway around to your right.

It's just around the
corner, honey.

Go on. You're a big girl.

She gets that from you.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid.

Amy!

Daddy! There's
a man downstairs!

Are you okay?

Come here.

Come on, it's okay.

See?

It's just a painting.

But I got to tell you,

you're a lot
braver than I used to be.

When I was little, I'd
never come down here.

That old painting creeped
me out too much.

I don't know why that
door was open.

My grandma
always kept it locked.

You doing okay?

Yeah, I was just thinking.

We'll be the only relatives at
the funeral tomorrow.

There's no one else left.

When my grandfather died,

my grandmother had everything from the
store packed up and moved down here.

I think it was her
way of keeping him close.

Your grandfather had a tobacco shop
when you were growing up, right? In town.

It was more than
just a tobacco shop.

He has shelves and shelves of little
artifacts from American history.

It was like his
own little museum.

You know, it looks like somebody's
gone through these already.

I'm not afraid of you.

I'm not afraid of you.

I'm not afraid of you!

I'm not afraid of you!

Oh, my god! Amy!

What in the
world were you doing?

I was just
trying to be brave.

Are you okay?

Nice catch.

You okay?

Let's go get
you cleaned up.

I will skin your
children and eat them.

Upon finishing, I will fashion
utensils out of their bones.

Is it damaged?

Jesus, you're scaring me.

Sorry.

Take a look at this.

This is bizarre.

I found it hidden behind
this canvas.

"G.W."

G.W.

No way.

George Washington was the
father of our country.

He chopped up cherry trees, not
the arms and legs of children.

Take a look at this.

Looks like bone to me.

Yeah.

Maybe even human bone.

You're serious.

You really think it was
written by George Washington?

I said it
could have been.

So where did the
painting come from?

I don't know. It’s been around
since way before I was born.

Do you know he was
born around here?

Who was born around here?

- Washington.
- Washington?

Yeah.

I didn't know that.

Did you hear that?

Hear what?

What is it?

I heard something.

Maybe it was George Washington
looking for some children to eat.

Come inside.

We've got a long
day tomorrow.

There they are.

Hello.

- Good afternoon, Mrs. Franks.
- Amy.

Mr. Franks,

please allow me to introduce some
lifelong friends of your grandparents.

This is Nancy Arnold.

Hello.

I'm so sorry about
your grandmother.

She was a
wonderful woman.

A true blessing to
this community.

And you must
be little Amy.

I've heard
precious things about you.

Name is Jared Barkish.

I knew your
grandfather back in the day.

We used to gather down
in his tobacco shop.

We shared many a cigar and
many a meal with him.

It's a pleasure to
meet you.

I appreciate
you all coming.

How old is
your daughter, Mr. Franks?

She's--

Amy just turned
10a month ago.

Just turned 10?

Ladies and
gentlemen, please.

Gather round, folks.

The service
is about to begin.

Let's meet later this
evening, if you're up to it.

God bless you, son.

Today, we are gathered here to
honor the memory of Jephine Franks.

If I might ask, Mr. Franks,

what do you plan to do with
your grandfather's belongings?

Keep some
things, sell the rest.

There you go.

You do know your grandfather
was quite a collector?

Yes, I do.

There might be something there worth
more than the unexperienced eye can see.

Not everything your grandfather
did was what it appeared to be.

Oh, coffee's on me.

At least let
me get the tip.

All right. Whatever.

You know, I appreciate
all your help.

You've been very kind
to me and my family.

The pleasure was
all mine, good sir.

You know, I did find something
in my grandmother's house.

Maybe you can tell
me what to make of it.

Where did you find this?

In the basement.

G.W.!

George Washington?

You do know that George Washington
was born around these parts.

up north.

Virginia planter family.

My grandfather told
me that story many times.

This letter,

this could very well be an
authentic piece of American history.

May I ask, Mr. Franks,

what do you plan to
do with this?

I haven't really given
it much thought.

Would you like me to hold on to it for
you, check with some colleagues of mine?

I probably should discuss
it with my wife.

If you would consider
selling it,

I'm sure I could find some
interested parties.

No, I--

wait, wait, wait.

Come to think about it,

I know a collector who might pay
top dollar for something like this.

Would you mind if
I gave him a call?

He's very
discrete, very powerful,

and I ha every
reason to believe h'd.

be very generous.

No. I don't think so.

I'll call him for your
right now, set it all up.

If this is
the real thing,

I probably should get
it in a museum somewhere.

I'm not sure you realize what
you have here, Mr. Franks.

This single sheet of paper could entirely
rewrite the history of our country.

This letter could forever change the
image we have of George Washington.

That's an
immense responsibility, sir.

Think about it.

You want this
knowledge to be known?

I'll discuss
it with my wife.

I appreciate everything you've
done for me and my family,

and being so quick with my grandmother's
estate and it was a pleasure to know you.

Thank you very much.

If I may, Mr. Franks?

I would like to
suggest you do something.

What's that?

Sleep on it.

Sleep on this, old man.

Pam!

Pam!

Pam, where are you?

I'm down here!

What are you yelling
about? Is everything okay?

No, everything is not okay.

Something
weird is going on.

What do you mean "weird"?

First off, Sam Madison just
proved that he's a lunatic,

and I was just followed
home by a guy on horseback.

- What?
- Yeah, it was the weirdest thing.

I'm driving along and I
look outside the window,

and there's this guy riding along
side the car with his horse.

He's got this makeup on his
face and it's creepy as hell!

Honey, it was probably just
come local having a laugh.

Pam, I almost wrecked
the car.

Go on. What
happened with Samuel?

I showed him the letter
and he freaked out.

What, he thinks it's real?

Look, you should
have seen his face.

I didn't think he was
going to give this back.

That sweet old man?

Sweet old man, nothing. I thought
he was going to eat me for lunch.

Look, it's not funny.

He went on and on about how this letter
could change the course of American history,

how Washington’s image could be
ruined if this letter was made public.

So he really thinks that George
Washington was some kind of cannibal?

Nothing but meat as
far as the eye can see.

Squirrel meat, rabbit
meat, puppy meat.

Daddy!

How are you
folks doing tonight?

We're doing just
fine, thank you.

Get you anything to drink?

Diet coke.

Do you have any
chocolate milk?

Why, yes, we do.

Oh, my. Little sweetie,

you're about
cute enough to eat.

Be right back to
take your orders.

You're about cute
enough to eat.

cute enough to eat.

You're about cute
enough to eat!

Here we go!

And here's your chocolate
milk just for you!

oh, my god.

They're looking for
the letter.

Who?

Sam and that guy on the
horse, I'm telling you.

Where is the letter?

I kept it with me.

Oh, no.

What on earth are
you doing?

It's gone.

What is?

The fork! The bone.

Whatever the hell it is.

It's gone!

You said this is your
grandmother's house?

You're here because she
recently passed away?

Yeah, that's right.

Is it possible this happened because
of something your grandmother did?

Do you know if she
had any enemies?

Was she involved
in drugs?

Guys, my grandma was
86 years old.

They take
anything from the house?

Anything at all?

Maybe something that the heart could
be considered some sort of trade for?

A trade?

An exchange.

Maybe the
heart was a gift.

Seems more like a
warning to me.

Don't you think if it was a warning,
they would have left a head instead?

Yeah, you're right. A
head would be better.

What the hell are
you two talking about?

Do you think it
was a warning?

You having problems with
anyone here in town?

We just got
here yesterday.

I don't
know anybody in town.

Okay, listen, Mr. Franks.

Tomorrow we'll come back and
look around in the daylight.

If you can think of anything
else, feel free to give us a call.

I will. Thanks.

Just do us one
favor, Mr. Franks.

What's that?

Sleep on it.

We're getting the
hell out of here.

Right now.

She's sleeping.

- Need some help?
- I got her.

Good night, princess.

Daddy?

Do you want to come in?

Amy!

What's wrong?

There's a
man outside my window!

I don't see anyone.

Honey, are you sure
it wasn’t just a dream?

It wasn't a
dream! I promise.

George Washington was standing
right outside my window.

What the fuck?

Give us the letter.

We know you have it.

Is it George
Washington, daddy?

We know you're
in there, Franks.

Give us the letter and you and
your family will not be harmed.

Just give it
to them, Mike!

Did you see
his teeth, daddy?

Give us the damned letter or
we'll carve you into pieces!

Call the police! Now!

We're calling the police!

They'll be
here any minute!

9-1-1.

Yes, we have an
emergency at 2285 Edgewood.

Yes. Please hurry.

We will skin your
child alive!

It's okay.

This is your
final warning, Mr. Franks!

Give us the letter!

Fuck.

We'll be back.

They're gone.

- Don't en the door!
- No, daddy.

I'll be right back.

Daddy, please don't go.

It's okay, baby.

I still don't understand why you
didn't tell the police about the letter.

I told you, honey.

We don't know who we can
trust and who we can’t.

We can't just
give it to anyone.

I don't care
who we give it to,

I just don't want
it in this house.

I'll just
call--

why don't we just burn
the damn thing?

We can't burn it.

What if it's the truth?

We have an obligation.

You saw those men, Mike.

You saw them and you
heard what they said.

Okay, let me just call
professor Hartkinson.

The man knew more about
American history than

anyone I've ever met,
including my grandfather.

We can trust him.

Michael Franks, what
a nice surprise.

Thanks for
taking my call.

listen, pro

the reason why
I'm calling,

this is going to
sound crazy, but.

last night me and my wife were
woken up by our daughter.

She said that she saw someone
outside her window.

Then there was a
pounding on the door

and I looked outside

and on our porch there are
four men wearing powdered wigs

and what looked
like revolutionary war clothes.

Did you see their teeth?

How did you know that?

Michael, tell
me about their teeth.

They were fake-looking.

Horrible.

Washingtonians.

Washingtonians?

Washingtonians.

You're lucky you came to me.
They have spies everywhere.

What do you have?

What?

You must have something,

otherwise they wouldn't
be after you. What is it?

I'd rather not talk
about that on the phone.

No, no, no. Of course
not. I’ll come to you.

Look, my last
class ends at 6:30.

I'll see you then.

Listen, Michael, be
very, very careful.

You and your family are
in grave danger.

Professor.

- Thank you for coming.
- Been a long time.

Come inside.

In there.

The Washingtonians?

Who the fuck are they?

The Washingtonians.

they are the
fringe of the fringe,

and they are sworn to protect
Washington’s true legacy.

"I will skin your
children and eat them."

What does it mean?

It's the truth.

What's in this
letter is the truth.

George Washington was
a cannibal, Michael.

He was a fiend. A
murderer, a child-eater.

He was also chosen to be
father of our country,

and that image was more
important than the actuality.

History, Michael, is myth.

It's far more than a collection
of names, dates, and places.

It's a system of beliefs,

and ultimately it says more about the
people who bought into those beliefs

than the actual historical
participants themselves.

We're taught in school George
Washington: Father of our country.

Lincoln, freed the slaves.

That's our
lasting impression of them.

In fact, we are who we are as a nation
because of what we believe they were.

What we were
told to believe.

Let me tell you something
about historians, Michael.

Historians, they're
not interested in the truth.

They're not
interested in facts.

They're not interested in teaching
people what actually happened.

No, they're far more
concerned with perpetuating

the lies that they
were sworn to defend.

They're very much like
politicians in that regard.

I want to show
you something.

You know, it's a
very exclusive club,

Those people that know the
reasons we actually fought our wars,

what actually happened behind
closed doors of our world leaders.

Very exclusive club, and they
want to keep it exclusive.

But there are those of
us... that are altruists.

People like myself,

who want to learn and
share what we learned.

But, Michael, the
majority of historians,

they're nothing but P.R.
People for the past.

No, Americans wanted to believe that
George Washington was a great man.

They wanted him to
be father of our country,

needed him to be
father of our country,

and so for that reason they
were all too happy to believe

what we historians
told them to believe.

No, George Washington was not the gentle,
kind old man that we put him up to be.

He was a monster.

You've stumbled on something
very interesting here,

but they're
not going to give up.

They're not going to let this note
get further than you and your family.

You said you
have a daughter.

Is she a virgin?

She's ten years old.

This is not good.

Why isn't that good?

The Washingtonians wear
an insignia on their arm.

It's a cherry
tree and a hatchet.

I've seen that.

Well, in this particular
case the cherry tree

represents George
Washington’s well-documented.

fondness for the
meat of virgins.

Michael, they all
like virgin meat.

We know you're in
there, Frank!

Give us the
damned letter!

Take the letter.

If it's the truth, you got
to get it to the right people.

I'll guard
it with my life.

Pam! Amy!

What would they
do if they catch us?

Kill us. And eat us.

Go!

What's going on, Mike?

Here we are!

Mike.

Mike, are you okay, honey?

Come on, princess.

We're not going
to hurt you.

That's right. W're
just going to eat you!

Where are you taking us?

We've been
awaiting your arrival.

Won't you please join us?

Welcome to the original feasting
lodge of George Washington.

We are thrilled to
have you for dinner.

Oh, where are my manners?

Mr. Franks, we are delighted
to make your acquaintance.

Please, follow me.

I have something to
show you.

Hey, pull up a
chair, Mr. Franks!

It's all quite delicious.

Tastes just like beef.

Tastes more like
pork to me.

Pork?

It doesn't
taste like pork to me.

Tastes like chicken.

Hey, there, little sweetie.

You're about cute
enough to eat!

Step this way.

There. Now,

these forks were carved entirely from the
femurs of the first continental congress.

And this fork which
you found at your

grandmother's house
completed our collection.

We have to thank
you for that.

And now, this portrait Washington
commissioned when he first became president.

He first acquired the taste
during the long winter

at valley forge when he and
his men were starving.

Without supplies or reinforcements,
the army began to eat its dead.

Washington found that he not
only enjoyed the taste, of course,

but he found it gave him great
power and clearness of mind.

Even after supplies began to arrive, he
still killed a man a day for his meals.

Soon he began to realize that
with the control of his army

he was in a position where
he could make all the shots.

He could create a
country of cannibals,

a nation celebrating and dedicated
to the eating of human flesh.

Thomas Jefferson gave
his life to us.

Did you know that?

Come here.

He sacrificed himself
right here.

His blood
anointed this wood.

He allowed Washingtonians to rip
him apart with their bare hands.

And this is our
prize possession.

These belonged to president
Washington himself.

Priceless.

You're insane.

All of you.

Your hero George Washington
was nothing but a filthy monst--

you are not a guest
here, Mr. Franks.

You are a prisoner.

for now.

Later on, you
may be supper.

Daddy!

No!

You two.

may be dessert.

Especial this one.

Don't touch them.

Eat me!

Eat me, you
sons of bitches!

Don't worry. We will.

Your grandfather would have been
so disappointed in you, Michael!

Yes, my son, he was a
proud Washingtonian,

a good loyal comrade,

and he is dearly missed.

Here, here!

I'm only going to ask you
this one time, Mr. Franks.

Where is the letter?

You'll never see
that letter.

As you wish.

Go ahead.

No. No!

Mommy, no!

No!

No!

You harm her, I swear,
you'll never see that letter.

I hardly think you're
in any position to--

Everybody having
a good time?

You look disgusting.

Everybody okay?

Okay. Check to see who's
still alive and shoot them.

Go.

Michael!

Michael, you got to
get your family out of here.

Come on.

Guys, let's
go. Quick, quick, quick.

Who are they?

Federal agents.

How you doing, Andy?

- Hey, bob.
- How are they going to explain all this?

They work for
the government.

Roswell, all those
other cover-ups.

This incident will
never have happened.

Trust me, these guys will sweep
everything under the carpet.

Let's get out of here.

What about the letter?

Tell the world.

It's history!

Got it.

Allow me to quote my
good buddy, Jack Nicholson.

The truth?

You can't
ha-a-andle the truth.

Two order fried tofu,

two order
vegetarian lo mein,

one order with rice.

All right?

That's right.

Hey, you no like meat, huh?

What's this?

That the new dollar bill.

They swapped Georges.

No shit.

No shit.

No shit is right.