Masaba Masaba (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

Geetanjali Masaba Wax Strips.

Limited Edition.

Saved by a hair's breadth...

Wait, there's no hair!

Cut!

Madam, I can't see any emotions.

You're looking very paavam.

You need to be a little bold, okay?

-Let's take one more shot.
-What do you mean by "bold"?

Sexy!

Saved by a hair's breadth...



Wait, there's no hair.

Somebody save me, please!

No, ma'am, this is Mithila's van.
Your van is up ahead.

-Let's go there?
-Okay.

My name is spelt wrong here.

Sorry, ma'am, we'll get it changed.

-Change it to double "E."
-Yes, no problem.

Okay. Please ask the director
to come speak to me.

-Okay, sure. Thank you.
-Thank you.

-Ms. Neena, hi! How are you?
-Hi, Sonam, I'm fine.

I am so excited I'm directing you!
This is the coolest thing I've ever done!

Yeah, but I'm very nervous
looking at these clothes and all.

Okay, so I didn't exactly understand
what the video is about.

See, in Mad Memsaabs,
we take these women's issues



and make comedy sketches of them.

I read your Instagram post,
and I was like,

"We have to make something
about women and age, you know?"

I know, yeah. I heard the song,
"Hey, Who Are You Calling Aunty?"

Right? It's cool, right?

Cool, catchy,
and I think I can relate to it.

Exactly! I mean, women are so hot
at any age, right?

-And you are the face of those women!
-Now you're embarrassing me.

No, no, nothing like that.
You are perfect.

I'm so excited.
I'll see you on the floor, right?

-Yeah, thank you. Okay.
-Okay!

And... action!

A fairylike glow...

Limitless love...

Cut, cut, cut!

Madam, I am telling you "sex appeal,"
and you're coming with full hair on legs!

But what will I wax if there's no hair?

No, no, no!
Never show hair in advertising!

Please, madam.
You have to remove and come.

-Madam, should I shave it for you?
-No, thank you. I'll do it.

Go.

Wonder where these people come from.

Five and six.
And five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four. Come back again.

-Wow, Neena.
-Hi!

-Hi, you look stunning.
-Thank you.

-I'm Dara, the DP.
-Okay.

Yeah. I'm only doing this
because I found out you were in it.

-So sweet.
-I'm such a fan.

-Thank you.
-I mean, "Choli ke Peeche" made me a man.

Oh, my God, thank you so much.

Hey, spot boy, get a chair.

No need. I was getting bored in
the vanity van so I thought I'd come here

-and watch.
-Yeah, sure. Suzy!

-Yes, sir?
-Are we planning on shooting today or not?

Where's Ms. Mithila?

Sir, her costume took ages to arrive,
and then a comb got stuck in her hair.

Now her blood pressure is low,

so she's ordered a salad
from Kitchen Garden.

So as soon as it comes, we'll start, sir?

-No problem.
-Sorry.

-I'll rehearse a bit till then.
-Yeah, sure.

Sonam, let's do one rehearsal
with Ms. Neena.

-Okay, let's.
-Let's go, okay.

So the last one is step, then hit...

-Hello!
-Hello, ma'am. Please come.

-What do you want me to do?
-Please, come. It's very simple.

First, hands straight ahead.

Perfect. You're going right,
left, right, and left.

Right, left, open, back.

-Yes!
-Perfect, ma'am.

Superb, superb!

-How was it?
-Fabulous!

-Come on, let's go. And...
-Let's go. I don't have all day.

Guys, Mithila's here. Come.

Hi!

Cool.

-I'll show you the steps?
-Sure.

Okay, guys, let's go.
Five, six, seven, eight.

And cross, out, forward, back.

Right, left, open, back.
Perfect, guys.

-Wanna see it one more time?
-Yes.

Okay, guys, let's go one more time.
And five, six, seven, eight.

Cross, open, forward, back.
Right, left, open, back.

Perfect, ma'am.

I'm not getting it.

-It's very easy.
-And quite tacky, according to me.

What is this, Sonam?

-I mean, I'm doing you a favor anyway?
-Yes

By the way,
what else have you choreographed?

Ma'am, I've done a lot of videos.

Sonam, shall we do Ms. Neena's solo first?

And then we can do Mithila's right after.

-Okay...
-Sure.

-Let's go, okay.
-Okay.

-Ms. Neena, are you okay with that?
-Yeah, sure.

-Okay. Let's go for a take.
-Yes.

Perfect. We'll do one solo with Ms. Neena.

And let's go.

And roll sound, roll camera.

Great. And music!

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Five, six, seven. Go!

Perfect. That was very good.

Cut, cut, cut. Superb, superb!

Let's do one more, okay?
Just a minor mess-up. One more.

Okay, one more. Back to one.

-You want to chill in the van, Mithila?
-No.

Actually, I'll give this a shot.

Really? Guys, guys, Mithila's also coming.

And we're doing one more take.

There are so many wax strips here.
Why are you shaving?

They're dummies, man.
Welcome to the world of advertising.

Cool design, though.

It's an old print, I just put it on it.

You slapped them with an old design
and they paid you for it also?

You've become Pritam da.

Look, I'm already quite irritated.
Don't make it worse, okay?

Why're you irritated?

I mean, look around me, man!

This embarrassing product
and this tacky crew.

The things I have to do for money.

And that Vinay.

Can't find a buyer for the house,
and Manav has used me.

And this hair. Always a problem.

Are you listening to yourself?

Poor little Masaba.

She didn't have money,

but selling an old design
for lakhs of rupees solved that.

You couldn't find a house, but your boss
gave you a fantastic apartment.

You feeling lonely?
Your ex gave you sex also!

What was it about your hair?
Yeah, that does look like shit.

What's your problem, Gia?

Wait, are we talking about my problems?
Or are we still speaking about yours?

What do you mean?

I mean, ever since
this separation has happened,

on every channel
it's just been the Masaba show.

And I understand
it's a very tough time for you.

But the rest of us
also have problems in our lives, okay?

Okay.

You know how many months I've been
working my ass off to relaunch this bar?

You think it's easy, all this?

Contractors, permissions, licenses,
BMC, decor, food, menu, entertainment.

Everything is on my shoulders
and I've never done any of this before.

But not once have you asked me,
"Gia, are you okay?

Do you need any help? Is everything fine?"

Not once, yeah?

I asked you for one thing,
to help me with my opening night invite.

Did you even look at it?

Of course not, 'cause you only know
how to take help,

but you never fucking give it.

-Look, I've been really hectic, okay?
-You think my day wasn't hectic?

You called, you said,
"I'm feeling uncomfortable."

I left everything to come here.

You should have told me if it's a problem.
I would have managed something.

Yeah, so you manage now.

You have a lot of problems,
you deal with them yourself.

-I'll deal with my own problems myself.
-Gia...

My family's been running
this business for years...

despite the fact
that we are running in losses.

This is my last shot
at keeping my family legacy alive,

and I want to make my dad proud.

But what are any of these problems
in front of yours, right?

-Have a great day.
-Gia, come on.

-Morning, ma'am, here you go.
-Morning, thanks.

Seriously, Gia...

Are you still sulking?

I've called so many times.
At least reply with an emoji.

Yes, madam.

-You called?
-Aren't you coming to work?

Did we plan to meet today?

Sorry, I'm still in bed.

I can see that.

All by yourself?

Who are you talking to
so early in the morning?

Sorry, man.

It's a work call, AB.

Jogi is Jo-gay?

Look, I think I called you
at the wrong time.

Chill, ma'am. I called you.

What did you want to talk about?

Dhairya's coming, so I just thought
you should be around.

Give me five minutes, I'm nearby.
I'm coming, okay?

Okay.

I thought there was something between us,
but he's got something else brewing.

Ma'am, Dhairya sir has come.

Dhairya, you don't have to come
for inspection every day, okay?

We're working on the new collection.

I've taken your advice
and gotten a new collaborator.

That's wonderful.

Can I see it?

No, I mean it's in the middle
of the collection now.

It disrupts my creative flow.

Your creative flow?

Okay. Whenever it's ready,
you let me know.

Sure. Anything else?

No.

We were just passing by and we thought
maybe we'd come and say hi.

Really, D?

Well, there is...

I wanna ask you for a favor.

Okay. What favor?

It's just that Pax is bored following me
around for business meetings

and she seems to have taken
a real interest in...

all of this.

You mean my work?

Of course. So, what I was thinking
is she can... or if maybe--

What D is trying to say
is I wanna work here!

Be an intern or something? Anything.

Madam, I'm here.

Let's go smoke a joint
before your boss arrives.

Dhairya, meet Jogi.

-Hi, bro. You're already here. Jogi.
-Dhairya.

So, Jogi is our new collaborator
and a very, very talented artist.

We're working
on some solid ideas together.

Ideas? What ideas?

Ideas for the collection, Jogi.

What, that umbrella print?
It's a terrible idea. Nobody will wear it.

What other ideas?
We haven't had a good idea yet.

At least someone's speaking
the truth here.

I always speak the truth, bro.

I like you, Jogi.
Give me your number.

From now on,
I'll just coordinate with you.

-9974--
-Hello, one second!

The name written outside
is still mine, okay?

So you'll talk to me.

And you are late. So please get to work.

And, you,
can you please stop babysitting me?

Work is progressing well.

You don't need to come here
or call every day.

You had one job, D. Wait!

Listen, he's not my real dad, okay?
Please don't judge me based on him.

I really, really want this internship.

Yeah, you can come here whenever you want,
don't worry.

But just please don't bring him along.

I look at him and I want to scream.

Yeah, he made my mom scream, too.

What?

They were always yelling at each other.

Yeah, I can relate to that.

-Yeah, Mom?
-Listen.

I've sent you a link to the music video.
Watch it and tell me what you think.

Okay, I'm checking it. One second.

Want to see Mom's new video?

-Yeah.
-Sure.

Oh, my God, that's your mom?

She's so cool. I love it.

-Amazing.
-It's awesome!

-It's nice.
-She's awesome!

-So good!
-It's so going to be viral!

Okay, I have to call her.

Yes, tell me.

Mom, that was so fucking cool!

I'm going to put it
on Instagram right now.

I don't look stupid, right?

You're a rockstar!

Who's that?

That's Pax, my new intern.

Okay, listen, Mom,
we have to celebrate this.

I'm calling everybody home, okay?

No, no, no.
It's very embarrassing. No screening!

Embarrassing? It'll be fab!

-Don't argue with me, it's done.
-Okay, fine.

Bye.

She's excited.

Oh, man, I'm so nervous.

-Guys, guys, guys. Let's see.
-Let's start.

Masaba, don't play it, don't play it!

-Let's see this.
-Madam, let's play it.

Okay, come on, let's go.

-Are we ready?
-Yes!

-Okay.
-Superb.

Play.

-Oh, my God!
-Yes.

The secret to my beauty...

We want to see it, Masaba, please.

Would you like to know?

-No, no, one sec.
-No, no!

-Masaba, we want to see it!
-Let it be.

A fairylike glow...

Limitless love...

-Well done, Masaba!
-It's great!

No, guys, stop it!

Geetanjali Masaba Wax Strips.

Limited Edition.

Saved by a hair's breadth.

Wait, there's no hair...

It's over, it's over!

-Are we ready?
-Okay.

-Yes.
-Play.

Go, Mom!

Just get out of the way, aunty!

This 60-year-old house
Has plenty of life

Not like you, a makeup store

Your youth is fake, your ship will sink

That's why I show respect for your age

Underneath this blouse
My heart still beats red-hot

Red-hot
Red-hot

Red-hot
Red-hot

Why did you open your mouth
Without thinking?

Why?

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Hey, hey!

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

I'm a saree-clad woman
But I can rock jeans, too

I can ride the vehicle of youth
Without your permission

My face might have wrinkles

But like you I don't use filters
To cover them up

Underneath this blouse
My heart still beats red-hot

Red-hot
Red-hot

Red-hot
Red-hot

Why did you open your mouth
Without thinking?

-Why?
-Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Hey, hey!

Hey!

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Hey, hey!

Hey, who are you calling aunty?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

-Yes! Go, Mom!
-You're amazing!

It was so good!

-Hip-hip...
-Hooray!

-Hip-hip...
-Hooray!

Hello?

I shared your video with the family group.

Everyone loved it!

-Masaba!
-Yeah.

Gia didn't come? Where is she?

She's a little busy
with the bar these days.

It's open?

No, but I think
she's busy with the opening night.

-It'll be a good one, right?
-Yeah!

-The video's trending on spot number one.
-No way!

Is there a party going on?

Masaba called a few friends over
to watch the video.

They're all just excited.
It feels so good, really.

-Okay, enjoy!
-Okay, bye!

Thank you, my child.

You made my small video
into such a big thing. Thank you.

Of course, Mom!
You have to celebrate this.

-Okay, listen, I have to go see Gia.
-Okay, go. Bye, bye.

Sorry, the husband called.

-I had to attend it. It was necessary.
-Yeah.

Hi!

It's 2:00 a.m. I was sleeping.
What are you doing here?

How can you be sleeping, Gia?
There's so much work to do for the bar!

There's the alcohol,
you've to plan the menu, decor...

What's the entertainment going to be?

And opening night is coming, Gia.

Have you figured what you're gonna do
for the hashtags, Instagram, guest list...

Have you decided anything?

Come on, let's get to work.
There's much to do.

So much to do! Come on.
Let's get down to it. Come on.

What?

If there's one person
who could single-handedly run a bar,

and make sure everyone
has a night worth remembering,

it's my bestie Gia.

Join me as I celebrate
this crazy, wonderful woman

on the opening night
of a crazy, wonderful new bar.

It's going to be lit.

-Are you guys having fun?
-Yes!

The next one is my favorite. Let's go.

I love this song!

-Hi, Micky!
-Look who it is!

-This is my date, Andy.
-Hi.

Isn't he just...

Okay, guys, please,
if you're posting any photos today,

you know the hashtag?

"GiaTuAbTohAaja."

I'll do my best.

Hey! Thank y'all for coming! Have fun!

What's up? What's happening?

I just want to say thank you
and I love you.

-I love you.
-Firstly, for these "influencer" types,

and I can't believe you managed
to book the band, dude!

I had to!

Love you. Look at dad. He's glowing!

-So happy.
-Hi!

I should be angry with you
more often.

You've become such a good friend.

-Stop taunting me and call for shots.
-Shots!

-Okay, let's get wasted.
-Let's drink to this.

-Vodka shots?
-Okay.

-To growing up.
-Cheers.

Okay. Don't look behind right now, but...

Okay.

This is my date, Andy.

-Vinay? He brought a date, too?
-Hi, sweetheart.

Oh, God!

Gehna!

Who invited my ex-husband to this?

Ma'am, I invited everyone
from the guest list

that you gave me from your last event.

Fuck.

-Okay, I have to say hi to him.
-You got this! Chin up.

-Your ex is also here.
-I know, I invited him. Come.

Of course.

-I'm gonna drag her away for a bit.
-Bring her back soon!

Hi, Vinay!

Hey.

-This is--
-Hi, I'm Masaba.

-Of course, I love your clothes.
-Thank you.

I'm Naina, nice to meet you.

-Thank you for having us here.
-Of course.

-So what do you do, Naina?
-I'm a vet.

That's lovely.

Can you tell me where the restroom is?

-Sure, it's right there.
-Okay, I'll be back.

Sweet!

Where did you find a vet?

I was a little lonely,
so I got a goldfish, and...

Who has a goldfish, Vinay?
You're so weird.

What's it to you?

You got saved by a hair's breadth, right?

Oh, God, you saw the ad.

Of course I saw the ad! I saw it 50 times.

In fact, Masaba,
I think that is your best work yet.

Seriously. Show me your hand?

Show me, one second...

Soft skin...

-Such soft skin, Masaba--
-Vinay, stop it.

-Shall we get a drink and go see the band?
-Yeah, sure.

-Okay. We'll see you. Bye.
-See you.

I'm exhausted.

You know, I have to say

I'm very impressed
that you left Cyrus to come here.

We already had a quickie
in the bathroom over there.

But I wouldn't give up
this opportunity, right?

Our sleepovers stopped
completely after your wedding.

A lot of things stopped
after the wedding, right?

But I'm happy you're here.

You know, sometimes I get
very lonely in this house.

You? Lonely?

Why? You are single, you are hot,
you are celebrity.

You just have to sneeze
and the boys will line up.

Where is this line?
I'm tired of sneezing.

Okay, I'm sure
after the divorce announcement,

your DMs must be flooded.

Let's see them. Open your DMs. Let's see.

Open them.

Ninety-nine plus requests! Let's see.

Are you mad? Look at these boys.
Are you mad? I can't go out with them.

Your standards are too high. Just see.

Imagine sleeping with
"Navin, lover for life."

"Hello, babezzzzz."

"Hawr u?"

Then see these guys.
What about this one here?

He is looking decent. Shubham.

"Howz u? Want to go to Africa?
Let's get lost in the woods, babe."

Why does everyone think I'm from Africa?

It's your hair.

Find one decent person?

-"Wanna d8?"
-D8?

"Wanna d8? Hi!"

You know what? Give your phone.

-So sweet, he's so direct.
-Gia...

Don't you dare message
anyone from my phone, okay?

I would never.

-What are you doing?
-Sent a message. He's coming over!

Are you mad?
Gia, give my phone back. I'll kill you!

Gia! Give my phone, man. Stop it!

Get ready for some sexy time

God...

Yeah!

So, how you doing? How you doing?

Cool. I was just looking at the menu--

You don't need any menu!
I know exactly what you want!

Give me your hands!

Just give me your hands!
Trust me! Trust me!

You want the... You want the...

Pizza!

-Pizza?
-Yes, pizza.

Yes? Okay. Great, we'll get some pizza.
So, what do you do?

Yes... do.

No, I mean, like, what do you do?

I'm doing this, like,
electro-funk set on Friday.

So you DJ as well, huh?

-Yeah! You should definitely come.
-I'd love to.

We do the sex now, yes?

-I'm sorry?
-Sex... Yes?

I think it's very important for you
to learn to receive love...

No!

...and also give love.

-Yes?
-No!

-Yes.
-No!

-So, Pax, do you have a boyfriend?
-No.

Good. It's really bad.

It's called "Continental Breakfast."
You haven't seen it?

He's taking a bite of a banana
without peeling it.

Who does that? It's hilarious!
Hold on. Let me show you this one.

No, no, hold up. Wait, one second.

Breathe, Masaba, breathe.

This one here...

So, if you look closely,
right, that guy is singing a racist song.

So, what did I miss?

This is my manager, Arjun.

-Hi.
-Hi!

Are you guys in the middle
of something or...

No, no. He comes to every meeting with me.

-Okay.
-So how's it going, man. You all right?

It's going good.

The last boy I went on a date with
brought his manager along.

What?

That's better. Mine brought his mom along.

-What?
-Oh, God.

Guys, at least they showed up.

-Mine never came.
-You got stood up?

I'd love for you
to photograph me sometime.

You know
who I'd really like to photograph?

-Who?
-Your mom.

-She's hot.
-That she is.

I mean...

Man!

I mean, those legs...

...and it's actually really interesting.

There are two kinds of razor blades
and not many know that.

There's sputtered and there's unsputtered.

And the sputtered ones have
a chromium lining on the side

and they're more premium.

We now manufacture high quality razors
that the international market demands.

And that really is a determining factor.
And in some countries...

-It's really interesting...
-Wait, what? Is that Dhairya?

Most people can't tell
the difference through their naked eye.

Is he on a date?

...that really determines 1,27,
which is the ideal sort of middle ground,

which makes it both malleable but
also sturdy enough to get a good shave.

Now, the international markets
have responded well.

We export
to a bunch of countries, 52 to be exact.

We manufacture double-edged razor blades.
So we actually manufacture in Hyderabad.

Have you ever used
a double-edged razor blade?

Yeah, of course you haven't,
but most people have.

There are other players
in the market, like Supermax...

We manufacture these sputtered
razor blades and export...

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

-Brother, has all the stock come in?
-Yes, ma'am.

Okay, make something fresh for me, please.

Sure, ma'am.

Yo! What's up?

Fuck you, Gia!
I'm not going on any more dates.

I'd rather go to a funeral.

Was the sex good at least?

What sex? Have sex with him?

I just left him at the restaurant.

Okay, never mind that.

Guess who was at the restaurant
over there?

Who?

Mr. Investor
and babysitter extraordinaire.

Dhairya Rana.

"Please forgive me, Mr. Rana."

Actually, Mr. Rana was looking
quite hot tonight.

Are you serious?

-I'll send the picture?
-Please send.

I mean, you think he's hot or what?

I don't know... Could be me, I don't know.

See and tell me, okay?

"Do you think he has Big Dick Energy?"