Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 7, Episode 5 - Ted's Change of Heart - full transcript

Mary and Murray's angry disagreement with Ted just before going on-air turns to panic when it looks like Ted is in some physical distress during his newscast. It ends up being a mild heart attack from which he will fully recover. The heart attack makes Ted a changed man, where every little thing in life - even a grain of salt - now has a special meaning to him. But the new Ted does not go over too well. Not only is Ted's new outlook starting to grate on everyone, including Georgette, but it's also starting to affect Lou, Mary and Murray's ability to do their jobs. But when they think about it, will Ted's new outlook ultimately have an affect on the outlook of those around him?

♪ Who can turn the
world on with her smile ♪

♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪

♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪

♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪

♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪

♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪

♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪

No. Ted, it's our closing
story. It's incredible.

Swarms of locusts
have overrun Pakistan.

No go, guys. Ted!

It's almost airtime. Now
get out there and read it.

I'm not gonna read something
you throw at me the last minute.

Why didn't you give it to me a couple of
hours ago so I had a chance to learn it?

Ted, the locusts only
did it this morning.

They don't know
you're a slow learner.

Look, Ted, we really need that
story. We're three minutes short.

And we've got some great
footage on the locusts.

What are they doing?

I think they were eating
a car or something.

What make car?

I don't know, a '58 DeSoto.
What's the difference?

A '58 DeSoto? Don't you see?

For all we know, it could be
old footage of 1958 locusts.

Ted, get out there
and read that copy.

I'm sorry, Mary. I see no
reason to read this item.

Ted, get out there and read
that copy, or I'll break your face.

Now, that's a reason.

What are you doing standing here and
arguing? We could've gone on the air,

and there'd be nothing on the
screen except Ted's empty chair.

Right. But sooner or later,
probably somebody would notice.


Good evening. This is Ted
Baxter with the WJM News.

Our big stories tonight. Transit
strike looms in the Twin Cities.

Police crack down on
pornographic bookstores.

And swarms of locusts
have overrun Pakistan,

destroying crops, homes and
suspiciously old automobiles.

He wouldn't let
it go. Just once...

Just once, I would like to see an
entire broadcast... Hold it, Mary. Look.

I think that something's wrong.

Excuse me. Can't
seem to catch my breath.

In other news today, the
mayor announced that...

Oh, boy.

In other news
today, the... Oh, boy!

Sorry. I seem to have this
burning sensation in my...

Hey, what's going on?
Something's wrong with Ted.

Uh, m-maybe it's
just indigestion.

H-He'll be all
right in a minute.

Ah. There.

That's better. Whew!

In other news today,
the... Oh, boy! Oh!

There it is again. Ladies
and gentlemen, don't panic.

Keep calm. No problem, except I
think I'm having a little heart attack.

This is Ted Baxter saying good
night, good news and maybe good-bye.

Mary, Murr, you get
right down there. Right.

Harry, you call the fire
department rescue squad.

Manny, call the control booth. Tell them to
put on Ted's interview with the governor.

Sandro, what's the name of
that doctor on the ninth floor?

Jackson. Jackson. Yeah. Yeah.

Get me Dr. Jackson on
the ninth floor. Emergency!

Ted! Ted, are you okay?

Oh, boy. The fire
department's on its way.

Why'd you order the fire
department? I'm not on fire.

Look, their rescue squad is
trained to handle heart attacks.

Who says I'm
having a heart attack?

You did, Ted. Well, I
want another opinion.

Newsroom? Yeah.

I hear you're having some
problems. Thanks for coming so fast.

Well, we're used to
emergencies. Right.

He's right over here. Oh.

It's okay, Ted.
He's here. Hello.


Well, come on! Do something!

Listen to his heart!
Check his pulse!


Well, how is he? I don't know.

What do you mean? Listen, mister,
I just came to fix the Xerox machine.

I think he passed out.

- What'll we do?
- Mouth-to-mouth?

Yeah, that's it.


Ah. He's comin' around.

Lou? Yeah?

I'm not gonna die. I can
tell I'm not gonna die.

- How, Ted?
- I'm starting to get excited.

These are Ted's friends.
Mary Richards. Hi.

Lou Grant. Hi.

And Murray Slaughter. Doctor.

Dr. Carter's Ted's doctor.
Ah. How's he doin', Doc?

Just fine. It was a
very mild heart attack.

He can go home in a couple of days.
After a week's rest, he'll be back at work.

With proper diet and exercise, he can
be better than ever. Oh, that's wonderful.

Of course, Ted doesn't
believe the doctor.

He thinks he's just trying to
make him feel really good...

so he can shaft
him with the bill.

That's Ted. Well!

Hi, guys. Hey!

How you doin', Ted? Ted,
you're looking just great.

Yeah. I hear you can come
back to work in a couple of weeks.

Sure, Lou. Sure.

Ted, I've just been looking over
your tests. They look very good.

Yeah, I'll bet.

Ted, it's the truth.
Believe me, I've known

people in your condition
who live to be 100.

Yeah? And then what?

Nice meeting you all. Excuse me.

Same here, Doctor.
Nice meeting you.

Mary, I didn't get a
chance to thank you.

You saved my life by
pressing your lips to mine.

Ted, it was nothing.

What'd you expect? I was sick.

Here, Ted. Don't touch my heart!

With this bum ticker, every
move I make could be my last.

Oh. Made it.

You guys wanna hear my
will? Ted, don't talk like that.

Well, it's important, Mary.

I've got quite a
bit socked away.

I mean, not millions, but
more than you'll ever see.

Ted, will you stop? Just
get your rest, get better,

and we'll see you
back at the office. Yeah.

We'd better go now.
We don't wanna tire you.

Sure. Bye-bye.
Georgette, call me.

Bye, Georgette. Bye, Ted.
Uh, see you in the office. Yeah.

Say, Doc? Yeah?

I didn't wanna ask with everybody
around. Something's been bothering me.

It's kind of personal.

How-How does it affect you...

if you have a heart attack
about, you know, uh...

Sex? Ted, you can have it as often
as you did before your heart attack.

I thought you said he
was going to be better?

No kidding, Phil. You really
did a great job filling in for Ted.

And I know it must've been rough doing
both the morning news and evening news.

I was glad I could be of
help, Lou. As a matter of fact,

I was just starting to
enjoy it. Excuse me, Phil,

but, uh, Ted'll be
here any minute.

And if he sees you, well,
you know how Ted is.

I don't imagine he was too happy
about having someone else fill in for him.

Right. I got ya. I'll
just get my jacket.

Thanks again, Phil. Right.

Hi, guys! Ah, Ted!

Ted! You look great!

Oh, it's great to be back, Mary.


Murray! Hey.

Phil. Hi, Ted. Welcome back.

Phil Howard.

You're a terrific replacement.

I watched you every night. You were
sensational. Wasn't he sensational, guys?

Oh, yeah. Mmm.

Hey, Lou. I've got a great idea.

Why don't Phil and I do the Six O'Clock
News together? You know, co-anchormen.

Ted's changed.

Uh, look, I-I really
gotta be going.

Ted, take good
care of yourself, huh?

What a great guy,
and a real talent.

Ted, what's happened to you?

Lou, I've been reborn,

and all because
of a little spider.

A spider? Yes.

Mary, a couple of days ago, I was
sitting on my terrace outside the bedroom,

and I noticed
this little spider...

next to the screen door
spinning his web lovingly,

patiently, skillfully.

Then, Georgette opened
the door and tore the web.

So the spider...

had to build it back up again.

Then a little later,
someone else opened the

door, and he had to
build it back up again.

Then someone else came, and...

Ted? Could you
move it along? Oh.

Sure, Lou.

Well, I learned something from
that little spider who never gave up,

who kept rebuilding his
web over and over and over.

I learned that life is short,
and you have to live for today.

Well, Ted, that's not
a "live for today" story.

That's a perseverance story.

Well, it was a perseverance
story, Mary, but it became...

a "live for today" story when I
smacked that spider with my newspaper.

Don't you see?

Well, it's just like life. You
go along, spinning your web.

And then, whammo.

The man upstairs hits
you with his newspaper.

Ted, that is... not bad.

Thanks, Murray.

It's too bad it took a heart
attack to open my eyes.

Oh! I've been such a fool.

But from now on, I'm
gonna spin a web of love,

beauty, truth.

I'm gonna savor
each moment of life...

like some rare exotic delicacy.

And I'm gonna treat every person
like I'm never gonna see them again.

Ted, you promised to
lie down before the show.

Oh. Sure, sweet
cakes. Anything you say.




Somebody get me a big newspaper.

Mary, you've really
outdone yourself tonight.

Never have I tasted
such an incredible dinner.

Oh, well, thank you, Ted.
But it's just my meat loaf.

But what a meat loaf.

It was perfect. Not too
meaty, not too loafy.

And the peas, they
were so... Ted, what is it?

Did you ever really stop
to take a good look at salt?

Tiny grains... so
pure, so white.

And every single
one of them is salty.

You know, I've been
around salt all my life,

but I never really
ever paid attention to it.

Look at it, Mary.
Here, have one.

Oh, yeah.

Georgette, would you
like to look at some?

You showed me
salt yesterday, Ted.

Georgette hasn't completely
adjusted to the new Ted Baxter.

Well, frankly,
Ted, neither have I.

I know I promised
not to mention it again,

but, honestly, that
present you brought me...

Hey, Mary. It's just...

You come to dinner, you
bring a gift. What's the big deal?

Ted. You come to dinner...
you bring flowers, candy, nuts.

But a new bed?

Well, Mary, you're not married.

God knows why, you're
an incredible woman.

I just thought maybe if you had a
new bed, your luck would change.

Oh, well, Ted, I appreciate
the thought. I really do.

But I just can't. I
mean, a bed costs...

Hey, hey. What's money?

Money's only measurement is the
amount of joy it brings the ones you love.

Here, Mary. Have some money.

Don't do that! Take
it. Take it, Mary!

Take it, Mary. If you don't,
he'll just give it to strangers.

Please. Ted, I am
not taking your money.

Now, stop that. All right.

I don't wanna spoil
this moment for you.

After all, every moment
only comes once.

Oh, gee! I forgot
to watch the sunset!

Darn it!

Ted, there'll be another
sunset tomorrow.

That's not the same
thing, Georgette.

Tonight's sunset will
never come again.

Tomorrow, you and I and
the sun will be a day older.

Not if you don't knock it off!

Well, I'll watch
the moon instead.

I'll tell you all about
it when I get back.

Wait for me, moon!

Wow. He really has changed.

I know. And, Mary,
I've had it with him.

I mean, I'm not ready for this.

The Ted I married was loud, vain
and egotistical. That I could handle.

Then he has a little heart attack
and turns into St. Francis of Assisi.

Mary! I just heard. There's
a holdup... Fifth and Main.

Police have them
cornered. Send a crew.

Murray, I have the police on line
two. Get the facts, start writing the lead.

Right, Lou.

Hi, guys. Isn't it
a glorious day?

Hi. Let me talk to Charlie. This is
Slaughter. How many are there?

Anybody hurt?

What kind of weapons do they
have? Murray, Murray, Murray.

Ted, please! I'm
talking to the police.

Hey. You guys are
doin' a terrific job.

Those new stop
signs... beautiful. Ted!

Okay... Yeah.

What do you mean
the crew is on a break?

Guess who. Ted,
please. I'm working.

I want that crew, and I want...

Ted, why did you
hang up my phone?

Mary, is that crew
on their way yet? Lou!

She was talking to the dispatcher,
and Ted hung up the phone.

Ted, what the hell do you
think you're... Mr. Grant.

Ted. Lou.

If... If you don't mind, we have a little
news tip we're trying to follow up on.

Oh, I don't mind. Let
me talk to Charlie, please.

I just don't wanna see you
getting tense while you're doing it.

No... Hey, I worry
about you guys.

Charlie, I'll call you later.

Come on. Listen.
At the hospital,

they taught us a wonderful
exercise to get rid of tension.

Now, I want us all to
do it, okay? You sit here.

Ted... Just sit,
sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

Now, what we're gonna do
is we're gonna close our eyes,

we're gonna take five
deep, long breaths.

And as I count them out, I want
you to blot out everything else...

except the feeling
of your own breath.

All right. Everybody,
close your eyes.






There. Now, doesn't
that feel better?

Oh, much. Oh, yeah.


If you liked that, I've
got an even better one.

We all lie in a circle and put our heads
on each other's stomach and laugh.

Hey, Ted, why don't you
save that one for tomorrow?

For now, why don't you go
in and hug the cameraman.

That's a nice idea, Lou.

I love you guys. And
remember, breathe.

Okay. We'll lead
off with the holdup.

Move the housing story to third,
right after the midgets' convention.

Right. Uh, Lou, look. Somebody's
gotta straighten out Ted.

Yeah, I know. I can't
avoid it any longer.

Mary, straighten out Ted.

Mr. Grant, how can
I? He bought me a bed.

I told you to leave me alone!

Oh, just one little hug. No!


I'll talk to him tomorrow.

Hi, Mary. Mr. Grant.

Murray. Hi.

We were starting to be
concerned. You were gone so long.

Where were you? I don't know.

Just taking a walk in the
park trying to figure out...

what to say to Ted.
Did you have any luck?


I know exactly what I'm gonna
say to him. I'm gonna say,

"Ted, you're making everybody
crazy with this new attitude of yours.

"You're screwing up
the whole newsroom.

And, Ted, I
think it's terrific."


Look, I know this sounds stupid,

but did any of us ever stop to
think that Ted might be right?

Not for a second.
I mean it, Murray.

As I was sitting in the park...

with the flowers
and the trees...

and the children playing,

I began to wonder if
maybe there could be...

more important things in this
world than putting on a news show.

What-What's wrong with
taking the time to enjoy life...

and enjoy people,
things, nature?

Why should we have to have a
heart attack to appreciate things?

You're really serious
about this, aren't you?

Sure. What's wrong with
being a little more appreciative?


We've been working together
now, Mary, for seven years.

And in all those years, did I ever once
tell you how wonderful I think you are?

Did I ever tell you what a joy it
is to see you here every morning?

Did I ever tell you what a
delight it is to be your friend?

Is that true, Mr. Grant?
You really mean that?

Yes, I do.


There are a lot of things like
that that I never said to you either.

I... I think you're
a wonderful man.

It's really great
to be around you.

You make life exciting and fun,

and I'm really glad I know you.

You're a beautiful human being.

Come here.

Murr? What is it?

I've got a lovely wife,

great kids, wonderful friends.

I've got my health,
a paid-up house,

and occasional hair.

I'm the luckiest
man in the world.

Oh, Murr.



Okay, now. Okay, now. Come on.

Let's go. Let's go. We've...
We've still got a show to put on.

Uh, is that convention
footage, uh,

still in the film library?

Yes, it is.

Oh! Mr. Grant.

Here's tonight's rundown. I thought
you might wanna take a look at it.

Mary, look at that.

What? That sunset.

It's beautiful.

I've been working here for 12
years trying to get out the news,

and not once did I ever
look out this window...

and see that beautiful sunset.

It is gorgeous. Oh.

Murray! Get in
here! Look at this!

What is it, Lou?
What is it? Look.

The sunset.

Wow. Look-Look...

Look how it shimmers
off that building over there.

Oh, yeah. And how
it glistens off the lake.

It's incredible.
Guys, get in here!

Tommy, go get the crew!

What is it, Lou? That sunset.

Look at that sunset. Isn't it
fantastic? What's goin' on?

The sunset. Oh.

Hey, where is everybody?

Ted? Ted! Come on in here.

What? Come here. Come here.

Look at that.

Oh, yeah.

Ted. Isn't it incredible?

What? Well, the
sunset. Isn't it great?

Oh, that. Yeah, I guess it's
okay. What do you mean "okay"?

Ted, you love sunsets.

Oh, I got tired of 'em.

What about the other things?

What about salt?

Doctor says I've
gotta cut down on it.

What happened?

Well, I guess this experience,

this feeling, must go away.


I just remembered.

The same thing
happened in the war.

During combat, I never
held life more dearly.

But the feeling started to go away the
minute the Germans stopped shooting at me.

I never forgave them for that.

I guess it always wears off.

Yeah. I guess in
a couple of days,

we won't be feeling
like this anymore.

We'll all be back to normal.

Okay. Back to work.

Hey, wait a minute. So what?

So it doesn't last
forever. So it wears off.

But that's no reason not to
appreciate it when it's here.

Hey, we got it. Let's
make the most of it.

Mary, you're absolutely
right. Come on!


Good evening. This is Ted Baxter with
the WJM News. In tonight's headlines.

More civil unrest
in Northern Ireland.

Negotiations between the city and
transit workers have again broken down.

Police have announced three
arrests in connection with a statewide...