Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 7, Episode 11 - Mary's Insomnia - full transcript
Mary is feeling lousy since she has a case of insomnia despite she being so tired. The insomnia in turn is making her even more tired, which makes her fall asleep at the most inappropriate of times, such as at work. So Mary decides to get medical help, her doctor who prescribes a sleeping pill. The miracle drug does the trick, but at what cost? Lou believes that cost is too high, which is Mary's addiction to that pill, a barbiturate. Mary doesn't think she's addicted until she tries to fall asleep at night without the pill. Lou will do whatever he can to help Mary beat this addiction while still getting her to get a full night sleep. Meanwhile, Murray's daughter Bonnie, a journalism student, asks her dad for favor: get Ted to make a presentation to her journalism class. Ted won't do it unless he gets something in return, which may be too high a price for Murray to pay: stop insulting him.
♪ Who can turn the
world on with her smile ♪
♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪
♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪
♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪
♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪
♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪
♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪
Morning, guys. Morning, Ted.
Ted, tell me something.
Why do you wear your
hat over your eyes like that?
Well, it's not his fault, Lou.
It keeps slipping down
as his brain shrinks.
[Laughing]
♪♪ [Whistling]
Why do you keep doing
that, Murray? Hmm?
Keep putting me down,
talking about how dumb I am?
Well, I'm sorry, Ted. From now on,
I'll only talk about how smart you are.
Okay.
Not very.
Just keep it up.
Keep it up, Murray.
One of these
days, you'll be sorry.
Oh, good morning,
Mar. Nice day, huh?
Oh, yeah. Wonderful.
Why do I get the feeling this
isn't gonna be my morning?
Hey, Murr, I'm sorry. I
shouldn't take it out on you.
I just didn't get any sleep
last night. How come?
I don't know. I've
started having insomnia.
It's the third time this
week. It's getting me crazy.
Well, don't worry, Mary.
Insomnia may be annoying.
But it's nothing
to lose sleep over.
Oh, boy.
I can't even joke about it.
Not being able to sleep is one of
the most frustrating things in the world.
Yeah, I know. I had it a
couple of times myself.
I bet you never had it
three times in one week.
I've got to get some help. I'm
gonna see the doctor this afternoon.
I'm beginning to wonder
if I'll ever sleep again.
Hi, Daddy. Bonnie!
What are you doing here?
My journalism class sent me.
- Hi, Miss Richards.
- [Yawning] Hi, Bonnie.
Your journalism class sent
you for what? A really big favor.
They know you work at WJM,
and they want a real professional
to give the annual guest lecture...
two weeks from tomorrow night.
I kind of promised 'em I could
arrange it. I hope you don't mind.
Mind? Why should I mind?
It's my pleasure, baby. Oh, good.
'Cause we figured, you being
a close friend of Mr. Baxter,
you're the best one to ask him.
[Murray] Mr. Baxter?
I'll think I'll, uh, just see if
Mr. Grant wants anything.
Well, it's just that, uh...
Look, you have to understand,
Bonnie. I don't see Ted every day.
Uh, there's no knowing
when I'm gonna see him again.
Hi, Mr. Baxter. Hi, Bonnie.
- Uh, say, Ted...
- What is it, Slaughter?
Say, Ted, if you've
got a second,
uh, I'd like to ask
you something.
It's, uh... It's
sort of a favor.
A favor? You want me to do you a
favor? You expect me to do you a favor?
You have the gall to ask me to
do you a favor? Oh, the hell with it.
Yes, Ted. I want
a favor from you.
How badly do you want
this favor, Slaughter?
What does that mean?
How about never
insulting me again?
What? You heard me.
Hey, come on, Ted.
Insulting you is one of
the greatest joys of my life.
Asking me to give that up would be like
asking you to give up chocolate cigarettes.
Exactly.
Well? Promise, Murray. You got
to promise. Otherwise, it's no deal.
No, Ted. Never.
[Sighs]
Okay. I promise.
[Laughs] A favor you say.
Well, of course.
Whatever it is, you got it.
All you had to do was ask.
You did it, Daddy. Thanks.
Wow. Wait till I tell the class.
Psst! Come on.
Look at this. What's going
on in this newsroom today?
Kids, people sleeping. Shh. Lou.
Lou, let her sleep. She's
been having a tough time.
She really asleep? That's
what it looks like, doesn't it?
[Whispering] She
looks so peaceful.
Like a beautiful princess.
Yeah. Look at that expression.
Like a sweet little baby.
Like an angel.
[Snores]
Good morning.
Great day, huh, Murr?
Yeah. Wonderful. Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. Ted
is really getting me down.
Well, zing him. That always
cheers you up. Give him a good shot.
Yeah, right. Hey, you've
been really chipper these days.
Oh, well, Murr, I'm
just sleeping so well.
Every night. I mean,
what a difference.
Yeah, so I've noticed. What
did that doctor give you anyway?
Just a simple little white pill.
But, oh, Murr, what
a great little white pill.
Murray, you started
on that speech yet?
Oh, no, Ted.
Tut-tut-tut, Murray.
Idle hands are
the devil's helper.
Now, let's get cracking on that.
In the meanwhile,
I have half a mind
to go read a book.
Didn't you hear me, Murray? I said I
have half a mind to go read a book.
Good, Ted. Enjoy the book.
"Good, Ted. Enjoy
the book." [Laughing]
That's witty. Very
witty. [Laughing]
Well, you're certainly
being tolerant.
Oh, shut up!
Mary, can I see you
in my office? Sure.
[Clears Throat] Now, what's
all this about a little white pill?
Oh, I was just telling Murray
about my sleeping pills.
Sleeping pills. You
mean barbiturates.
The kind of stuff pushers
sell to schoolkids?
Okay, Mr. Grant, let's nip
this in the bud right away.
I'm not interested in whether
you approve or disapprove.
It's a personal matter.
Now, if you have business to discuss,
I'll stay. If not, please excuse me.
It's about business, Mary.
About a documentary
I'm planning...
on the dangers
of sleeping pills.
We're talking about
business now, Mary.
Boy, you really
think you're cute,
don't you?
Yeah.
I figure our documentary could show the
terrible things that could happen to you...
To one who became
dependent on them.
What terrible things?
Well, for one thing, you
could end up looking like this.
I, uh, presume...
that our documentary would
also show the many cases...
where one was not
addicted to sleeping pills.
Well, that would depend on how
often one had taken them, Mary.
Suppose one had taken them
every night for two weeks...
with no sign of addiction?
Mary, taking them every
night for two weeks is addiction.
How'd you like to put cold
cream on this every night?
I can give up sleeping
pills anytime I want.
Then do me a favor.
Do it tonight. Why?
- To prove you can.
- That's ridiculous.
- You can't stop, can you?
- Yes, of course I can stop.
- Mr. Grant,
I am not addicted.
- Then prove it.
For your sake.
Excuse me. Lou... Ted.
Did it ever occur to you that Mary
and I might be having a private talk?
Oh, come on.
We're one big family here at
WJM. There are no secrets.
Suppose... Suppose,
Ted, that it's personal?
Wouldn't it embarrass you to
listen in on something like that?
Oh, yeah. If it were
personal, then I'd leave.
All right, Mr. Grant, if
it will make you happy,
I won't take my pill tonight,
and we'll just see what happens.
Ah!
[Blows]
Good morning,
Murray. Oh, hiya, Ted.
Oh, what a day.
I walked to work.
I find there's nothing like a
brisk walk to stimulate my brain.
[Muttering] What was that?
Nothing. I couldn't hear you.
I didn't say anything. Oh. I
thought I missed something.
You see, I don't always
understand what people say.
[Sobbing]
Something the matter?
No, no. Nothing's the matter.
You're not getting sick,
are you? No. Now, listen...
Good. Because I'd hate to see you get ill
on the day of your daughter's big class.
It is tonight, isn't it?
Yes, Ted, it's tonight. Look,
here's the speech. I just finished it.
Thank you, Murray. [Chuckling]
Good morning. Morning, Mar.
Morning, Mar.
I'd like to make idle chitchat, but
I've got to memorize my address.
Oh. Good. And then maybe you
can memorize your phone number.
You better not be
laughing, Murray.
- Thanks.
- Well, listen,
someone's got to do it.
Is he in?
[Lou] Come in.
- You took the pill,
didn't you?
- No.
You didn't?
Hey, Mary, that's terrific.
Yeah. Well...
I'm really amazed, 'cause I
thought you were hooked for sure.
But you made a monkey out of
me, and I'm man enough to admit it.
Yeah. Well... Boy,
am I proud of you.
That took guts and determination
and willpower to break that habit.
Yeah. Well... We're
gonna celebrate.
I'm gonna take you out to
dinner and buy you champagne...
and tell the whole
world about you.
I took the lousy
pill. I figured.
Mr. Grant, it's my
life, and it's private.
If you're going to take that
attitude, I can't fight you.
I can't help you until
you admit you need help.
I can't help you until
you start to crumble.
- You crumbling?
- Yes.
Okay. Now, listen.
All that you have to do is make
yourself go to sleep at night.
Natural sleep, without pills.
Mr. Grant, I tried.
Believe me, I really did try.
It's got me scared now,
too, because I can't do it.
Mary, you've got to. Please,
for me. Tonight. No pills.
Look, I'll call you tonight, and if you
feel like company, I'll come right over.
All right. I'll
try. Attagirl girl.
But this time, you
got to make it stick.
Excuse me, but I've got
to talk to the two of you.
One second, Ted.
This is personal.
Personal. It's always personal.
Every time I come in here, you two
are always doing something personal.
Well, what if I've got
something personal too?
- Then you're entitled
to your privacy.
- Exactly.
So we'll leave. Thank you.
[Busy Signal On Phone]
[Key Turning In Lock]
Thanks, Fred. That's
all right, Mr. Grant.
If you need me,
I'll be downstairs.
[Busy Signal
Continues] [Door Closes]
Mary?
Mary. Mary?
Mary! Yes?
- Mr. Grant.
- Mary. Oh, thank God.
Mr. Grant!
I kept phoning for over an
hour, and the line was busy.
Finally, I called the operator, and
she said the phone was off the hook.
- I didn't know where you were.
- I'm in the bathtub.
I always take my phone off
the hook when I'm taking a bath.
I know. But you know, what
with the pills and everything,
I didn't know what
might have happened.
Mr. Grant, I am taking a bath.
Naked!
- Naked?
- Yes!
Many people bathe that way.
And you are sitting in
my bathroom watching me.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I came over here because
I was worried about you.
Yes, I realize that,
Mr. Grant. Worried to death.
- You think I care
that you're in the bathtub?
- Obviously not.
Do you think that's why I came?
I was just home with my shoes off,
having a beer. Nice and comfortable.
You imagine I
suddenly said to myself,
"Hey, why don't I go over and
see if I can cop a peek at Mary"?
Of course not.
Mr. Grant, you're
in my bathroom.
I can't believe that you think that of
me, Mary. That's a really rotten thought.
I'm in no position
to argue with you.
Boy, you really find
out about some people.
- Mary, it's me, Murray.
- Oh, my God!
I was worried about you. I tried to
phone, but your phone was busy.
We're in here! Mr. Grant!
Hi, Mar. Lou.
Hey. Hey, you should have
heard my speech tonight.
I was sensational. [Chuckling]
Let me tell you what happened.
Is that the only
seat you got in here?
Ted, I am taking a bath!
Ted, come on. Let's get
out of here. Wait a minute.
I wanna read Mary
my speech. Ted!
Murray. Ted.
Don't you dare!
Relax, Mary. This
will only take an hour.
[Screaming]
Geez.
- Are they gone?
- Yeah.
Are you getting sleepy? No.
After 45 minutes in a hot tub,
I'm now wide
awake and shriveled.
Aw. Don't worry. We'll
get you to sleep yet.
Oh, I hope so,
Mr. Grant. I'm so tired.
I have three daughters
of my own, you know.
I've learned a little bit
about putting people to sleep.
Close your eyes.
You'll see. It'll be
easy without pills.
Excuse me, Mr. Grant.
- Where are you going?
- To the bathroom.
What are you going to do there?
Nothing. I'll be doing nothing.
No, you don't.
Mr. Grant, give that to
me. No, Mary. I'm sorry.
Mr. Grant, give me the pills. I
don't want to have to use force.
Mr. Grant, please give me...
Now, Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary.
There.
Wait a minute. If I can
reach, you can reach.
That's right. Now,
give me my pills.
Mary, you're gonna thank
me for this. Not tonight.
[Garbage Disposal
Whirring] Yeah, yeah.
[Whirring Stops] Now
I'll never get to sleep.
Yes, you will. No, I won't.
Ow!
Mary, come on.
Come on over here.
Come on. Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes. Come on.
Okay. Now, you just
do what I tell you to do.
All right. Whew!
Now, I want you...
to just breathe deeply...
as if you were asleep.
And before you know
it, you will be asleep.
This isn't going to work.
Mary, trust me. Trust me.
Now, breathe deeply.
Now, just put your head down.
Like that.
Keep your eyes closed
and pretend you're asleep.
Now, I'm gonna do something...
that never failed with my kids.
Yeah. I'm gonna sing to you.
Now, just keep
your eyes closed...
and keep breathing.
[Clears Throat]
♪ Over in Killarney ♪
♪ Many years ago ♪
♪ My mother sang a song to me ♪
♪ In tones so sweet and low ♪
♪ Just a simple little ditty ♪
♪ In her good old Irish way ♪
♪ But I'd give the
world to hear her sing ♪
♪ That song to me today ♪♪
♪ Up a lazy river ♪
♪ By the old mill stream ♪♪
[Mouthing Words]
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-li ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Hush ♪
♪ Now, don't you cry ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-li ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ That's an ♪
♪ Irish ♪
♪ Lullaby ♪♪
Whew.
[Sighs]
[Sighs]
[Snoring]
[Snoring Continues]
Mary. Mary.
Time to wake up. Come on. What?
Where...
It's...
It's 7:00.
My doctor says
it's very important...
to make yourself
get up on schedule.
7:00? In the morning? Yeah.
Mr. Grant, I slept?
Mm-hmm. You sure did.
Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you.
Did anyone ever tell
you you snore? I what?
Wai-Wait. Did... Did you, uh...
The whole night? Yeah.
You... Oh, Mr. Grant,
thank you so much.
Yeah. That's okay.
Just stick with it
now. You did it once.
You can do it every
single night. Right.
No more pills. No
more. I promise.
Mr. Grant, just, uh...
Just one thing though.
Um... [Groaning]
I didn't really snore, did I?
I know it's silly
and everything,
but I have this
horror of snoring.
I didn't, did I?
What?
Mary Richards snore?
Nah.
[Laughs]
[Mews]
world on with her smile ♪
♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪
♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪
♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪
♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪
♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪
♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪
♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪
Morning, guys. Morning, Ted.
Ted, tell me something.
Why do you wear your
hat over your eyes like that?
Well, it's not his fault, Lou.
It keeps slipping down
as his brain shrinks.
[Laughing]
♪♪ [Whistling]
Why do you keep doing
that, Murray? Hmm?
Keep putting me down,
talking about how dumb I am?
Well, I'm sorry, Ted. From now on,
I'll only talk about how smart you are.
Okay.
Not very.
Just keep it up.
Keep it up, Murray.
One of these
days, you'll be sorry.
Oh, good morning,
Mar. Nice day, huh?
Oh, yeah. Wonderful.
Why do I get the feeling this
isn't gonna be my morning?
Hey, Murr, I'm sorry. I
shouldn't take it out on you.
I just didn't get any sleep
last night. How come?
I don't know. I've
started having insomnia.
It's the third time this
week. It's getting me crazy.
Well, don't worry, Mary.
Insomnia may be annoying.
But it's nothing
to lose sleep over.
Oh, boy.
I can't even joke about it.
Not being able to sleep is one of
the most frustrating things in the world.
Yeah, I know. I had it a
couple of times myself.
I bet you never had it
three times in one week.
I've got to get some help. I'm
gonna see the doctor this afternoon.
I'm beginning to wonder
if I'll ever sleep again.
Hi, Daddy. Bonnie!
What are you doing here?
My journalism class sent me.
- Hi, Miss Richards.
- [Yawning] Hi, Bonnie.
Your journalism class sent
you for what? A really big favor.
They know you work at WJM,
and they want a real professional
to give the annual guest lecture...
two weeks from tomorrow night.
I kind of promised 'em I could
arrange it. I hope you don't mind.
Mind? Why should I mind?
It's my pleasure, baby. Oh, good.
'Cause we figured, you being
a close friend of Mr. Baxter,
you're the best one to ask him.
[Murray] Mr. Baxter?
I'll think I'll, uh, just see if
Mr. Grant wants anything.
Well, it's just that, uh...
Look, you have to understand,
Bonnie. I don't see Ted every day.
Uh, there's no knowing
when I'm gonna see him again.
Hi, Mr. Baxter. Hi, Bonnie.
- Uh, say, Ted...
- What is it, Slaughter?
Say, Ted, if you've
got a second,
uh, I'd like to ask
you something.
It's, uh... It's
sort of a favor.
A favor? You want me to do you a
favor? You expect me to do you a favor?
You have the gall to ask me to
do you a favor? Oh, the hell with it.
Yes, Ted. I want
a favor from you.
How badly do you want
this favor, Slaughter?
What does that mean?
How about never
insulting me again?
What? You heard me.
Hey, come on, Ted.
Insulting you is one of
the greatest joys of my life.
Asking me to give that up would be like
asking you to give up chocolate cigarettes.
Exactly.
Well? Promise, Murray. You got
to promise. Otherwise, it's no deal.
No, Ted. Never.
[Sighs]
Okay. I promise.
[Laughs] A favor you say.
Well, of course.
Whatever it is, you got it.
All you had to do was ask.
You did it, Daddy. Thanks.
Wow. Wait till I tell the class.
Psst! Come on.
Look at this. What's going
on in this newsroom today?
Kids, people sleeping. Shh. Lou.
Lou, let her sleep. She's
been having a tough time.
She really asleep? That's
what it looks like, doesn't it?
[Whispering] She
looks so peaceful.
Like a beautiful princess.
Yeah. Look at that expression.
Like a sweet little baby.
Like an angel.
[Snores]
Good morning.
Great day, huh, Murr?
Yeah. Wonderful. Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. Ted
is really getting me down.
Well, zing him. That always
cheers you up. Give him a good shot.
Yeah, right. Hey, you've
been really chipper these days.
Oh, well, Murr, I'm
just sleeping so well.
Every night. I mean,
what a difference.
Yeah, so I've noticed. What
did that doctor give you anyway?
Just a simple little white pill.
But, oh, Murr, what
a great little white pill.
Murray, you started
on that speech yet?
Oh, no, Ted.
Tut-tut-tut, Murray.
Idle hands are
the devil's helper.
Now, let's get cracking on that.
In the meanwhile,
I have half a mind
to go read a book.
Didn't you hear me, Murray? I said I
have half a mind to go read a book.
Good, Ted. Enjoy the book.
"Good, Ted. Enjoy
the book." [Laughing]
That's witty. Very
witty. [Laughing]
Well, you're certainly
being tolerant.
Oh, shut up!
Mary, can I see you
in my office? Sure.
[Clears Throat] Now, what's
all this about a little white pill?
Oh, I was just telling Murray
about my sleeping pills.
Sleeping pills. You
mean barbiturates.
The kind of stuff pushers
sell to schoolkids?
Okay, Mr. Grant, let's nip
this in the bud right away.
I'm not interested in whether
you approve or disapprove.
It's a personal matter.
Now, if you have business to discuss,
I'll stay. If not, please excuse me.
It's about business, Mary.
About a documentary
I'm planning...
on the dangers
of sleeping pills.
We're talking about
business now, Mary.
Boy, you really
think you're cute,
don't you?
Yeah.
I figure our documentary could show the
terrible things that could happen to you...
To one who became
dependent on them.
What terrible things?
Well, for one thing, you
could end up looking like this.
I, uh, presume...
that our documentary would
also show the many cases...
where one was not
addicted to sleeping pills.
Well, that would depend on how
often one had taken them, Mary.
Suppose one had taken them
every night for two weeks...
with no sign of addiction?
Mary, taking them every
night for two weeks is addiction.
How'd you like to put cold
cream on this every night?
I can give up sleeping
pills anytime I want.
Then do me a favor.
Do it tonight. Why?
- To prove you can.
- That's ridiculous.
- You can't stop, can you?
- Yes, of course I can stop.
- Mr. Grant,
I am not addicted.
- Then prove it.
For your sake.
Excuse me. Lou... Ted.
Did it ever occur to you that Mary
and I might be having a private talk?
Oh, come on.
We're one big family here at
WJM. There are no secrets.
Suppose... Suppose,
Ted, that it's personal?
Wouldn't it embarrass you to
listen in on something like that?
Oh, yeah. If it were
personal, then I'd leave.
All right, Mr. Grant, if
it will make you happy,
I won't take my pill tonight,
and we'll just see what happens.
Ah!
[Blows]
Good morning,
Murray. Oh, hiya, Ted.
Oh, what a day.
I walked to work.
I find there's nothing like a
brisk walk to stimulate my brain.
[Muttering] What was that?
Nothing. I couldn't hear you.
I didn't say anything. Oh. I
thought I missed something.
You see, I don't always
understand what people say.
[Sobbing]
Something the matter?
No, no. Nothing's the matter.
You're not getting sick,
are you? No. Now, listen...
Good. Because I'd hate to see you get ill
on the day of your daughter's big class.
It is tonight, isn't it?
Yes, Ted, it's tonight. Look,
here's the speech. I just finished it.
Thank you, Murray. [Chuckling]
Good morning. Morning, Mar.
Morning, Mar.
I'd like to make idle chitchat, but
I've got to memorize my address.
Oh. Good. And then maybe you
can memorize your phone number.
You better not be
laughing, Murray.
- Thanks.
- Well, listen,
someone's got to do it.
Is he in?
[Lou] Come in.
- You took the pill,
didn't you?
- No.
You didn't?
Hey, Mary, that's terrific.
Yeah. Well...
I'm really amazed, 'cause I
thought you were hooked for sure.
But you made a monkey out of
me, and I'm man enough to admit it.
Yeah. Well... Boy,
am I proud of you.
That took guts and determination
and willpower to break that habit.
Yeah. Well... We're
gonna celebrate.
I'm gonna take you out to
dinner and buy you champagne...
and tell the whole
world about you.
I took the lousy
pill. I figured.
Mr. Grant, it's my
life, and it's private.
If you're going to take that
attitude, I can't fight you.
I can't help you until
you admit you need help.
I can't help you until
you start to crumble.
- You crumbling?
- Yes.
Okay. Now, listen.
All that you have to do is make
yourself go to sleep at night.
Natural sleep, without pills.
Mr. Grant, I tried.
Believe me, I really did try.
It's got me scared now,
too, because I can't do it.
Mary, you've got to. Please,
for me. Tonight. No pills.
Look, I'll call you tonight, and if you
feel like company, I'll come right over.
All right. I'll
try. Attagirl girl.
But this time, you
got to make it stick.
Excuse me, but I've got
to talk to the two of you.
One second, Ted.
This is personal.
Personal. It's always personal.
Every time I come in here, you two
are always doing something personal.
Well, what if I've got
something personal too?
- Then you're entitled
to your privacy.
- Exactly.
So we'll leave. Thank you.
[Busy Signal On Phone]
[Key Turning In Lock]
Thanks, Fred. That's
all right, Mr. Grant.
If you need me,
I'll be downstairs.
[Busy Signal
Continues] [Door Closes]
Mary?
Mary. Mary?
Mary! Yes?
- Mr. Grant.
- Mary. Oh, thank God.
Mr. Grant!
I kept phoning for over an
hour, and the line was busy.
Finally, I called the operator, and
she said the phone was off the hook.
- I didn't know where you were.
- I'm in the bathtub.
I always take my phone off
the hook when I'm taking a bath.
I know. But you know, what
with the pills and everything,
I didn't know what
might have happened.
Mr. Grant, I am taking a bath.
Naked!
- Naked?
- Yes!
Many people bathe that way.
And you are sitting in
my bathroom watching me.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I came over here because
I was worried about you.
Yes, I realize that,
Mr. Grant. Worried to death.
- You think I care
that you're in the bathtub?
- Obviously not.
Do you think that's why I came?
I was just home with my shoes off,
having a beer. Nice and comfortable.
You imagine I
suddenly said to myself,
"Hey, why don't I go over and
see if I can cop a peek at Mary"?
Of course not.
Mr. Grant, you're
in my bathroom.
I can't believe that you think that of
me, Mary. That's a really rotten thought.
I'm in no position
to argue with you.
Boy, you really find
out about some people.
- Mary, it's me, Murray.
- Oh, my God!
I was worried about you. I tried to
phone, but your phone was busy.
We're in here! Mr. Grant!
Hi, Mar. Lou.
Hey. Hey, you should have
heard my speech tonight.
I was sensational. [Chuckling]
Let me tell you what happened.
Is that the only
seat you got in here?
Ted, I am taking a bath!
Ted, come on. Let's get
out of here. Wait a minute.
I wanna read Mary
my speech. Ted!
Murray. Ted.
Don't you dare!
Relax, Mary. This
will only take an hour.
[Screaming]
Geez.
- Are they gone?
- Yeah.
Are you getting sleepy? No.
After 45 minutes in a hot tub,
I'm now wide
awake and shriveled.
Aw. Don't worry. We'll
get you to sleep yet.
Oh, I hope so,
Mr. Grant. I'm so tired.
I have three daughters
of my own, you know.
I've learned a little bit
about putting people to sleep.
Close your eyes.
You'll see. It'll be
easy without pills.
Excuse me, Mr. Grant.
- Where are you going?
- To the bathroom.
What are you going to do there?
Nothing. I'll be doing nothing.
No, you don't.
Mr. Grant, give that to
me. No, Mary. I'm sorry.
Mr. Grant, give me the pills. I
don't want to have to use force.
Mr. Grant, please give me...
Now, Mary. Mary, Mary, Mary.
There.
Wait a minute. If I can
reach, you can reach.
That's right. Now,
give me my pills.
Mary, you're gonna thank
me for this. Not tonight.
[Garbage Disposal
Whirring] Yeah, yeah.
[Whirring Stops] Now
I'll never get to sleep.
Yes, you will. No, I won't.
Ow!
Mary, come on.
Come on over here.
Come on. Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes. Come on.
Okay. Now, you just
do what I tell you to do.
All right. Whew!
Now, I want you...
to just breathe deeply...
as if you were asleep.
And before you know
it, you will be asleep.
This isn't going to work.
Mary, trust me. Trust me.
Now, breathe deeply.
Now, just put your head down.
Like that.
Keep your eyes closed
and pretend you're asleep.
Now, I'm gonna do something...
that never failed with my kids.
Yeah. I'm gonna sing to you.
Now, just keep
your eyes closed...
and keep breathing.
[Clears Throat]
♪ Over in Killarney ♪
♪ Many years ago ♪
♪ My mother sang a song to me ♪
♪ In tones so sweet and low ♪
♪ Just a simple little ditty ♪
♪ In her good old Irish way ♪
♪ But I'd give the
world to hear her sing ♪
♪ That song to me today ♪♪
♪ Up a lazy river ♪
♪ By the old mill stream ♪♪
[Mouthing Words]
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-li ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Hush ♪
♪ Now, don't you cry ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-li ♪
♪ Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra ♪
♪ That's an ♪
♪ Irish ♪
♪ Lullaby ♪♪
Whew.
[Sighs]
[Sighs]
[Snoring]
[Snoring Continues]
Mary. Mary.
Time to wake up. Come on. What?
Where...
It's...
It's 7:00.
My doctor says
it's very important...
to make yourself
get up on schedule.
7:00? In the morning? Yeah.
Mr. Grant, I slept?
Mm-hmm. You sure did.
Oh, Mr. Grant, thank you.
Did anyone ever tell
you you snore? I what?
Wai-Wait. Did... Did you, uh...
The whole night? Yeah.
You... Oh, Mr. Grant,
thank you so much.
Yeah. That's okay.
Just stick with it
now. You did it once.
You can do it every
single night. Right.
No more pills. No
more. I promise.
Mr. Grant, just, uh...
Just one thing though.
Um... [Groaning]
I didn't really snore, did I?
I know it's silly
and everything,
but I have this
horror of snoring.
I didn't, did I?
What?
Mary Richards snore?
Nah.
[Laughs]
[Mews]