Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 6, Episode 11 - Mary Richards Falls in Love - full transcript

At the first party Mary hosts in her new apartment, she introduces all her friends to her new boyfriend, Joe Warner, who is a construction company executive. Joe is not averse to public displays of affection with Mary, the affection which she doesn't mind, but the public part which will take some getting used to for her. Mary is pretty sure that she's in love with him, and that he's in love with her, but he hasn't said so in so many words, the three magic words which she really wants to hear. Based on advice from Rhoda, Mary decides to tell Joe that she loves him first. She doesn't get quite the reaction she was expecting, and is dismayed to learn the reason why. Will Joe ultimately tell Mary what she wants to hear?

♪ Who can turn the
world on with her smile ♪

♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪

♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪

♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪

♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪

♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪

♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪

So, I figured it was a good
time to have a party, you know.

I've got the apartment looking pretty
much the way I want it. [Doorbell Rings]

The furniture is here, and the
shutters I ordered finally arrived.

Hello, Mary. Hi! Sue Ann.

I hope you'll forgive me, dear. I still
haven't gotten you a housewarming gift.

Oh, Sue Ann. I'm just waiting to
see what you need most desperately.

You've certainly
left me an open field.

Sue Ann, why don't you fix yourself
a drink? Maybe a gin and hemlock.

Lou! Hmm.

Are you here by
yourself? Mm-hmm.

Not anymore. [Doorbell Rings]

Get that, will you, Murray?

Hey, the newlyweds! Hey, Murray!

Hi, Murray. Hiya,
Sue Ann. Hi, guys.

Hi, Lou. Hi. And
how is Mrs. Baxter?

My mother's fine, thank you.

So, how's married life, Ted?

You know, I never
thought I'd say this, but...

it's the most wonderful thing
in the world, having a wife.

A wife! Someone who makes
you breakfast in the morning.

There's dinner ready
when you come home.

Someone to rub your neck
when you got a headache,

is always there
when you need her.

Gee, I wish I had one of those.

Hi. Ted, Georgette. Hi, Mary.

Georgette, you look
great. Thanks, Mary.

[Doorbell Rings] Excuse me.

Oh, I'm sorry. I have the
wrong apartment. Get in here!

Joe Warner, I'd like you to meet
Murray Slaughter. Hi, Murray.

And this is Lou Grant.
Hi, Lou. How are you?

And, uh, let's see. Oh,
uh, Sue Ann Nivens.

Joe Warner. It's a pleasure.


- And Ted Baxter.
- Nice to see you, Joe.

This is my first
wife, Georgette.

Oh, and Marsha
and David Emerson.

I'd like you to meet Joe
Warner. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Well, give me your coat, and
I'll, uh, put it in the bedroom.

Uh, excuse me.

I'm gonna check on Mary.

I don't want her putting
my coat on the bottom.

Georgette, I've hardly
seen you since the wedding.

What have you two been
doing with yourselves?

There should have been a
better way to phrase that question.

[Chuckling] Excuse
me. I'm sorry.


You ought to see the
clinch those two are in.

Oh, leave 'em alone, Ted.
He seems like a nice guy.

He touches too much. I
don't like a guy who touches.

Well, he wasn't
touching you, Lou.

You know what I mean.

Man with a woman... there's no
need for all that touching in public.

Guy doesn't have
to be all hands.

I know just how you feel, Lou.

I couldn't agree less, but
I know just how you feel.

Well, well. Everybody
having a good time?

Not as good as you are.

Anyway, we just put
the bid in this morning,

and it's between us and one
other construction company.

It'd be great if we got it.

We just got this
crawler tractor,

and it would help amortize.

[Clears Throat]

- Uh, would you care
for any dessert?
- No, just coffee for me.

Yeah. Coffee for me too. Fine.

Now, where was I? Joe!

[Giggling] Hey! Does it bother
you, the way I'm acting now?

No. No. Doesn't bother me.

I just thought it might bother
some of the people in the restaurant.

Oh. Y-You could be right.

Wait. I'll ask 'em.
Joe! [Laughing]

You're crazy.

I think when you feel like doing
something, you should do it.

Oh, I think that's wonderful
to be that open and free,

but, boy, I just... I can't.

I guess it's the way I
was raised, you know?

My mother and father never hugged
or kissed in front of people... even me.

About the only time I ever saw my
father display any affection in public...

was when he patted our dog.

Even then you had the feeling
the poor dog was embarrassed.

Uh, thank you. Well, I...
I can't hide my emotions.

I believe in letting
people know how I feel.

And not just people I know. People I
don't know at all... complete strangers.

Oh, Joe, I'd love to be as
open and free as you are.

And someday I will
be. Why put it off?

Give me a kiss. I can't.

Why not? Joe, this is
silly. We're two adults.

Are we gonna sit here
talking about a kiss?

Not if you give me one.

We're gonna sit here
talking about a kiss.

Hey, there's Mary and Joe. Hi.

[Ted] Hey. Hi, guys.
I'm glad you're still here.

I think maybe you should
give Charlie a call, Mar.

He's having some problem editing the
holdup film. Oh, yeah, I will. Excuse me.

It's nice seeing you again,
Joe. Nice to see you, Murray.


[Ted] Hi, Mar.

Boy, uh, Mary is sure
seeing a lot of that guy.

- You think he's the real thing?
- Nah, he's not Mary's type.

Well, what's Mary's type?

I don't know. I just
had a different picture

of the kind of guy
Mary would end up with.

Mary's a very special
girl. She deserves the best.

Yeah, but I'm already married.

You know who I always see
her with? Perfect guy for Mary?

Clark Kent.

Rugged, square jaw, little
shy, little mild mannered.

And when he takes his
clothes off, Superman.

[Ted Chuckling]

How did we get into this? We don't
even know how she feels about this guy.

Yeah. Well, I have a
hunch that she goes for him.

There's something
different about her.

Her eyes... Did you see
how different her eyes look?

That's not how you tell.

If you wanna know whether a woman's
in love, you don't look at her eyes.

You know where you
look? [Lou] Where?

Her nostrils.

- Her nostrils?
- That's right. Her nostrils.

When a woman gets passionate,
her nostrils flare like this.


What you just said...

makes everything else
you've ever said in your life...

seem utterly brilliant.

Thanks, Lou.


I just talked to Charlie. I'm gonna
go back and work with him on the film.

Joe, I'm really sorry,
but something's come up,

and I have to get back
to the station right away.

Okay. I'll walk you back.
No. Stay. Finish your coffee.

And I'll, uh, see
you tomorrow night.

Okay. See you tomorrow.


[Plates, Silverware Rattle]



Hello. [Mary] Rhoda?


Huh? Hello? Rhoda. Hi.

Oh, listen. Did I wake you?

Oh, that's okay, Mar. I had to
get up in seven hours anyway.

Sorry. I had no idea
it was so late. It's not.

It's just that Joe was workin'
36 hours straight on the job,

and he conked out
at about 6:00 tonight.

So I just went to bed with
him out of force of habit.

What? It's all right,
love. Go back to sleep.

[Whispering] Mary, is
there anything wrong?

- What?
- I said, is there
anything wrong?

I'm whispering because
I don't wanna wake Joe.

No kidding. He's dog
tired, the poor guy.

[Whispering] Oh.
No. Nothing's wrong.

Mar, you don't have to whisper.

[Whispers] Right.

Right! Right. So, how are you?

I'm fine, kid. I'm just
fine. How are you?

Rhoda, I think I'm in love.

What? In love? That's
terrific! Oh, how wonderful!

You're in love, Mar!
What, what, what, what?

It's nothing important.
Just go back to sleep.

Mary, in love? I mean, that
is fantastic. What's he like?

Well, he's... He's
bright, attractive.

He's sensitive,
funny, considerate.

You sure he's not
too good for you?

Tell me, what's he like?

Well, he's, uh...
He's... [Moaning] Oh!

No kiddin'. Yeah.

Oh, and, Rhoda,
guess what his name is.

What? Joe.

Joe? What? What?

Not you. Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Oh. That is so funny, Mar.

I mean, I can't
believe that... Joe.

But, babe, it's
really love, is it?

I mean, are you sure?
Are you absolutely positive?

Well, Rhoda, I wanna
be with him all the time.

I wanna know
everything about him...

What he's doing, what
he thinks, how he feels.

And I want him to know
everything about me.

And when I'm not with him,
all I do is think about him.

How does that sound?
Like a Paul Anka record.

Oh. Oh, kid.

I'm so happy. You sound so
happy. You're happy, right?

Yeah. Really, really happy.

There's... There's
just one minor thing,

and I mean, you know,
it's really kinda silly, but...

Well, Joe has never told me in
so many words that he loves me.

But I'm sure he feels the same
way about me as I feel about him...

because when you're with someone,
boy, you know how they feel about you.

And it's not all that important
to actually hear the words...

Quote... "I love
you"... unquote.

I mean, who cares about
three dumb little words anyway?

- You wanna hear it.
- God, do I ever.

Maybe he's shy.

No, no. He's not shy.
Boy, is he not shy.

Well, listen, Mar. Have
you told him you love him?

No. I am shy, remember?

I was waiting for him
to say something first.

Mary, you can't wait for him
to say it first. That's crazy.

You tell him that you love him
and you wanna know how he feels.

Be honest with him.

In this day and age, that's the
only thing for a woman to do.

Assuming that deceit and
trickery have already failed.

Yeah, yeah. I
guess you're right.

Of course I'm right. Of course.

You go to him and you
tell him, "Joe, I love you."

I love you too, babe.

Mary, I have to call you later.

And, um, Mary,
thanks for calling.

[Doorbell Rings]

Hiya, Mary. Hi.

Guess who.

You're supposed to say that
before someone opens the door.

No wonder everyone
always guesses.

Come on in.

We just stopped by to say hello.

There was an apartment for rent
down the hall, and we came to see it.

In this building?

Yeah, right down the hall.

No kidding.

Yeah, it's a great apartment.
Just what we're looking for.

No kidding.

But then I thought of it
from your point of view, Mary.

If we lived down the hall from
you, you'd be visiting us all the time.

We'd be visiting
you all the time.

Plus that, you'd be seeing
me every day at the office.

Let's face it, Mary. I'd get sick
of you. Oh, Ted, you would not.

He would. He would.

And I like you too much for that
to happen. Oh, thank you, Ted.

Maybe we'd better get going.

We still have to look at an
apartment on Charles Street.

We just stopped by to
say hello. [Doorbell Rings]

It's good to see you.


Hi. Oh, hi, Ted. Hi, Georgette.


You wanna sit down
for a minute? Sure.

The movie doesn't start for
half an hour. [Clears Throat]

So how was your day?
Oh, it was really kinda...

Wait. Don't answer that. I
don't care how your day was.

I mean, yeah, I care
how your day was, but...

that's not what I
wanted to ask you.

Joe, you and I have been
seeing each other for quite a while,

and there's... there's something
you've never talked about.

Um, you've never actually
said how you feel about me.

Joe, h-how do you feel about me?

How do I feel about
you? Like this...

Well, no, Joe. Um... In words.

I mean, you show me how
you feel, and that's terrific.

But I don't know.

For some dumb reason,
it just seems important

to me, you know,
to hear it in words.

Oh. In words. You
want it in words.

- Like sentences, paragraphs,
stuff like that?
- Yeah.

Oh. Okay. In words.

How do I feel about you?

Well, Mary,

you're a very important
person in my life.

And... And?

Well... You're probably the
most terrific girl I ever met.

And... And?

Mary, these last two
months together...

have really been
something special to me.


And, Mary, I'm crazy
about you really.

Well, we'd better get
to the movies. Right.

[Door Opens]

Joe, I love you.


[Knocking] Yeah.

Mr. Grant. Hmm?

Can I ask you a
hypothetical question?

Sure. They're my favorite kind.

Suppose a person...
Let's say a woman...

My favorite kind again.

Suppose this woman has
been seeing another person...

A man...

And they've been
getting along... well.

Really well.

Mary, what is all this talk about a
man-person and a woman-person?

I know you're talking
about you and the toucher.

I know you know,
Mr. Grant. It's just easier

for me to talk about
it in the third person.

All right. What's your question?

Well, suppose the woman has
given the man every opportunity...

to tell her that he loves her,

and he hasn't.

Should this woman
keep seeing this man?

Well, that doesn't seem
too tough a question.

Who are you calling? My daughter.
What do I know about this sort of stuff?

Mr. Grant! Please, I
don't want everybody...

I'm not going to
tell her it's you.

Hello, Sarah? It's Daddy.

Listen. I want to ask you a
purely hypothetical question.

Oh, yeah? No kidding?

[Laughing] That's great!

My grandson, Billy, went to
the potty all by himself today!

- That's nice.
- Yeah. He's a little trouper.

All right. Now, listen, Sarah.

Here's Mary's question.

A man and a woman go
together for three months...

and they get on just great,

but he never tells
her that he loves her.

Should she keep seeing him?

What? I'll check.

Sarah wants to know, did you
ever tell him that you love him?

Uh, yeah.

She has... much to my surprise.

So, should, uh... Should
she keep on seeing him?

Yeah. Right.

You gotta give the guy time.

Just because he doesn't say it
doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.


Okay, Sarah. Thanks a lot. And
tell Billy to keep up the good work.

Well, you know something,
Mr. Grant? She's absolutely right.

I bet there are a lot of men who
have trouble verbalizing emotions.

Yeah. Of course.

Of course. Sure.

Look at me, huh?

We've known each
other for six years now.

In all that time, did I ever
once take you by the hand,

sit you down...

and tell you exactly
what I think about you,

what I really feel
about you in my heart?

No, Mr. Grant. You haven't.

Well, there you are.

Honey, you want to get something
to eat? [Woman] Mm-mmm.

[Doorbell Buzzes] You sure?

There's a great little Italian
restaurant right around the corner.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I brought you some flowers.

I figured men are always
bringing women flowers,

so why shouldn't women
bring flowers to men?

Good point.

Mary, did I forget something?
Did we have a date tonight?

No, no, no. I just
brought the flowers over.

- Did you have something to do?
- N-No, no, no.

Because, uh, if you
don't want me here,

then I won't stay.

Uh, great flowers. What
kind are they? Roses.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought
they looked familiar.

Joe, I came over to
talk about the other night.

I feel really badly about that.

I don't know, for
some dumb reason,

I was trying to press
you into a commitment.

And I just want you to know there's
no need to make any commitment.

I'm happy just the way
things are. Really, I am.

So I wanted you to
know that if at some...

Time in the future either one of
us wanted to make a commitment,

that would be fine, and if not, then
we don't make that commitment.

Mary, there's another
woman standing here.

You can't react like she's
not even here. I can too.

Mary, we have a
situation on our hands.

Yes, I know we have a situation.

I just haven't the vaguest
idea how to deal with it.

Wait a minute. Yes. Wait. I do.
I think I know how to deal with it.

Hi. I'm Mary. Hi. I'm Joan.

[Shouts] Who asked you?

Mary, I'm really sorry.

Joe, I just gotta
get going. I'll see ya.

Yeah. I'll see you, Joan.

[Door Opens, Closes]
Hey, Mary, look.

No. No, no, no. Listen.

In the first place, I should
have called before I came over.

And in the second place,
you and I never made it clear...

that we had any kind of
commitment to each other.

And in the third place, how
could you do this to me?

I thought I was someone
special to you. You are special.

Listen, I don't know
what to say here.

I wish I could think of some
crazy excuse. She's my sister?

I just can't believe all the time you
were seeing me, you were seeing her too.

Now, that's not true.
I just met her today.


Look, Mary. You
are special to me.

And I'm gonna tell you something I never
thought I'd tell anybody... the truth.

Despite my feelings for you,

despite the fact that I
enjoy being with you...

more than anybody
else in the world,

I got this character flaw,

this crazy thing I
can't seem to control.

I like women.

You mean that Joan
wasn't the only one,

that there were a lot of women?

Uh, listen, I... I don't think we
should talk about how many.

I mean, it doesn't
matter how many.

What you may think is a lot
may not be what I think is a lot.

That many, huh?

Mary, it doesn't have
anything to do with you and me.

I don't care about them the
same way as I care about you.

It's just that I
got this defect.

Some guys are nearsighted, some
guys have a limp, some guys are deaf.

You would overlook those defects.
Why can't you overlook mine?

Where are you going?

To look for a nearsighted
deaf man with a limp.

Mary! Mary. Wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

Please, just wait a minute.


What if I try to change?

I don't know if I can, because I've
never tried to change for anybody before.

But I care about
you. I really do.

And I'd like to try. What do
you say? Let's give it a try.

I'd like to, Joe.

I really would.

But I can't. That's the
kind of person I am.

I can't accept
what's been going on.

And I'm afraid there's nothing you
can say that will change my mind.

Mary, I love you.

Well, we'll give it
a try. I don't know.

You know, it's funny.

There's a way to
celebrate everything...

Weddings, engagements.

But there's no way to celebrate when
two people have just told each other,

"I love you."

Wanna bet?