Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 6, Episode 10 - Lou Douses an Old Flame - full transcript

Mary takes a telephone message for Lou from a woman named Veronica Ludlow, who doesn't mention the nature of her call. Lou reacts poorly to the fact of the telephone call. He later unburdens himself to Mary about his reaction. Veronica Ludlow was the major love of his life thirty years ago. On the eve of going into battle during WWII, Veronica sent a Lou a rather uncaring Dear John letter. The past thirty years have not healed the wounds opened by Veronica's letter. She called because she wants to have dinner with him. Mary tries to persuade him to see her and face his old demons, she believing that Lou's feelings really are tipping more on the side of love than hate. Lou does decide to see Veronica. Will Mary be right? Meanwhile, Ted, feeling jealous that Mary threw Georgette a belated bridal shower, wants her to throw him a bachelor party.

♪ Who can turn the
world on with her smile ♪

♪ Who can take a nothing day ♪

♪ And suddenly make
it all seem worthwhile ♪

♪ Well, it's you, girl
and you should know it ♪

♪ With each glance and every
little movement you show it ♪

♪ Love is all around
No need to waste it ♪

♪ You can have the town
Why don't you take it ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪

♪ You're gonna
make it after all ♪♪

Yes, all right. Yes,
I'll tell him. Good-bye.

Murr. Hmm?

Mr. Grant ever mention
a Veronica Ludlow?

- No. Why?
- Well, she called. She wants
him to call her back.

But she wouldn't
say what she wanted.

Oh, yeah. People like
that are a pain in the neck.

Morning, little news folk.

And now, moving to
another part of the anatomy.

Mary, that was a lovely party
yesterday. Oh, thank you.

I couldn't have
done better myself.

A tactful lie is no sin.

Well, Sue Ann, in that
case, I enjoyed having you.

What kind of a party, Mar?

Oh, it was a shower
for Georgette.

She and Ted got married so quickly,
there wasn't time for it beforehand.

Did she get a lot of good
stuff? Oh, yeah, I'll say.

She got linens,
china, kitchenware.

Oh, and an autograph copy of Sue
Ann's new book on household hints.

How to Please a Man.

Well, like they say,
"Those who can, do,

and those who can't, teach."

Oh, Murray. Murray.

Funny Murray.

Witty Murray.

Shiny Murray.

[Georgette] Hi,
everybody. Hi, Georgette.

Georgette, hiya. Hi, Ted. Hi.

Mary, I just wanted to stop by
to thank you again for yesterday.

Oh, Georgette, you shouldn't.

Mary's quite right, dear.
A formal note is called for.

I'll write as soon as I get some stationery
that says Georgette Baxter on it.

I guess I have to have some printed. I
couldn't seem to find any at the store.

Does no one notice
I'm not happy?

Oh, Ted, I'm sorry.
What's the matter?

Nothing. Good.

Well, since you put it that way,
I'll tell you what's the matter.

At least Georgette had a shower.

But I missed everything that's
supposed to go with the wedding.


I'll handle the risqué
thoughts, dear.

Didn't have a church wedding,
didn't have a honeymoon.

And most of all, I didn't
have a bachelor party.

What's the point in getting married
if you can't have a bachelor party?

He doesn't mean that.

He's just disappointed
because he wanted it so badly.

All my life, I wanted
a bachelor party,

ever since I was 10 years old.

Well, the answer is so simple.
Mary will give you a bachelor party.

And I'll help.
Really? That's great.

Are you kidding? Mary
will do nothing of the sort.

Okay, Mary, just wait till you get married
and want me to throw you a bachelor party.

Morning. [Mary] Oh, morning.

Mr. Grant, you had a phone
call. A Veronica Ludlow.

- Veronica Ludlow?
- Yeah. She's at that number.

Thank you, Mary.
I'll take care of it.

I tried to find out what
it was she wanted.

Mary, what she wanted
was none of your business.

[Door Slams]

I wonder who Veronica Ludlow is.

I don't know. But I have a
hunch it's not his plumber.

Look, everybody, Mr. Grant
told us it's none of our business.

No, dear, he told you it
was none of your business.

Personally, I think it's wonderful if
Lou's been smitten by Cupid's arrow.

I'm just wondering who
the cheap little tramp can be.

[Knocking] Come in.

Hi. Ted, now that you're married, I
need to have you sign W-4 forms again.

I'm not in a signing
mood, Miss Richards.

He's still upset because you
won't give him a bachelor party.

He says he's entitled to
it. It's his right as a stud.

Ted, I am not giving
you a bachelor party.

Come on, Mary.

What a good chance to get
all my friends in one room.

Lou, Murray...

- Did I mention Lou?
- Yeah.

Right. Lou, Murray... No, Ted.

Too many?

Mary, I'm gonna tell you something
now that I've never... told anyone.

Georgette doesn't even know.
Georgette, would you excuse us, please?

But, Ted... Georgette,
I'm your husband.

If I can't have secrets
from you, who can?

Well, that makes sense.

Ted, I'm not changing my mind.

Mary, this is the secret I've
never told anyone. Not a soul.

You may find this
impossible to believe, but...

I'm not a popular guy.

Ted, I don't have a lot of
time. What's the secret?

I have so few friends, Mary.

To tell you the
truth, in fact, you're...

You're the only friend I
have in the whole universe.

Maybe the whole world. I'm
not changing my mind, Ted.

When I need a favor,
someone to cheer me up,

I can always turn to you.

You're always there.

But now, even you're not there.

I'm all alone.

Would tomorrow
night be all right?

Hey, guys. Just think, in 24
hours, I'm gonna have a last fling.

Ted, how can you have a last fling when
you've already been married for a week?

Well, it's just the principle, Mary. A
last revel, a chance to kick up my heels.

No, Ted, it's not gonna be
like that. Sow my wild oats.

Ted, it's just gonna
be a normal...

I'm gonna make an
absolute fool of myself.

You're right. It's a
come-as-you-are party. [Chuckles]

Well, guys, see you tomorrow night.
I can't wait. I wish it were tonight.

- I wish it were last night.
- What?

- Nothing.
- Hold it.

Nobody leave.
[Murray] What is it, Lou?

I've gotta talk to one of
you to tell you something.

- Who?
- I don't know.

It's personal, and I
gotta tell somebody,

but I don't know who.

I just narrowed it down.

You can go, Ted.

I didn't wanna hear it anyhow.

Do I tell a man or a woman?

A guy for understanding
or a woman for sympathy?

Well, what sort of thing, Lou?

Rough, Murray. Something
rough and hard to say.

This hurts. It's gonna be
like cutting myself open...

and spilling my
guts out all over you.

I'll tell Mary.

Are you sure, Lou?
Yeah, Murray. Yeah.

Good night. And thanks.
Oh, don't mention it.

Good night, Mar. And,
uh, happy listening.


It happened 30 years ago.

Thirty years ago?

Well... [Laughs]

I'm sorry, Mr. Grant, but
you did pick the wrong person.

I mean, I just can't get sympathetic over
something that happened 30 years ago.

Would you just listen?

I'm going to tell you about something
that happened during World War II.

Oh, gee. And I thought
we thoroughly covered that.

Mary, I had one
great love in my life.

Just one.

Do you know what I
mean by "great love"?

Well, sure, Mr. Grant. I
remember my first great love...

Just nod your head, Mary.

This is hard enough to tell
without your interruptions.

It was when I was in the army...

before I met Edie.

Her name was Veronica Ludlow.

The woman who...

Exactly. She was a knockout.

I met her when I was on leave.

We were gonna get married.

Then I was quickly sent
overseas and sent into action.

I missed her so much, I got crazy.
Can you understand that, Mary?

That war cost me the woman I love.
So don't try defending Hitler to me.

You notice I say it "cost me."
You're probably wondering how.

I'll tell you how. In
the worst way possible.

A "Dear John" letter
on the eve of battle.

Well, Mr. Grant,
look at the bright side.

I'll bet you there were guys during
the war who didn't get any mail.

I was sitting in my foxhole...

eating chipped beef
out of my helmet...

when the letter came.

I read it by the light
of bursting shells.

I still know it by heart.
Would you like to hear it?

You ate chipped beef
out of your helmet?

That's right.

And after I finished
reading the letter,

I took my helmet
full of chipped beef...

and emptied it on the head
of the guy in the next foxhole.

Well, who could blame you?

He did.

An enemy bullet couldn't have hurt
me as much as that letter did, Mary.

And now after 30 years, she wants to
see me again. You want to hear the letter?

Oh, Mr. Grant, do we really have
to go into the past? "Dear Lou.

"How are you? I am fine.

"Lou, I have something
very important to tell you.

"I know I said I loved you,

"and, at the time, I
thought I meant it.

"But now I guess
I really didn't.

"Otherwise, how could I have
married somebody else yesterday?

"I'd send your engagement
ring back to you,

"but we were forced to sell
it to pay for the honeymoon.

"I knew you'd understand.

"Good luck with the war.


She sold your engagement ring?


And she wants me to meet
her for dinner tomorrow night...

at Le Petit Château.

What are you gonna do?

Well, first, I'm gonna cook
up a mess of chipped beef.

Then I'm gonna fill
my army helmet with it.

Then I'm gonna march into that restaurant
and dump it over Veronica's head.

Oh, Mr. Grant, come on.

I'm not joking, Mary.
Mr. Grant, will you be serious?

Will you just be sensible for a
minute and just think about it?

You cannot walk into a crowded
French restaurant on a Saturday night...

with a helmet full of chipped beef
and dump it over a lady's head.

You're right.

I better make a reservation.

A little lower on your
side. A little more.

There we are.

What are you supposed to
do at a bachelor party anyway?

I don't know. I've
never gone to one.

Really? I've been to several.

Yeah, but this is the first time
you've entered through the door.

[Doorbell Rings]

Hi, Mary. Hiya, Mary.

Hi, Murray, Sue Ann. Well,
here I am. Ready for anything.

See, Ted, I don't think you should
get your hopes up for too much.

Oh, this is a night
to remember, Mary.

A night to sustain me through
those years of humdrum domestic life.

One unforgettable evening
of madcap abandon.

I wanna do wild
and reckless things.

Why don't you make yourselves
a drink? [Doorbell Rings]

A drink for myself. With ice cubes
and everything. Now we're rolling.

Mr. Grant. Hi, Mary.

[All] Hi, Lou. What
are you doing here?

What's the matter, Mary?
You did invite me, didn't you?

Well, yes, but you said you
had something else to do.

I-I... I couldn't go
through with it...

Dumping food on somebody's
head in a crowded restaurant.

It might cause a
scene. I'm glad.

I'm glad you're here. Now
we can really have fun, Lou.

Or not.

Well, everybody's here.

This is supposed to be a bachelor
party. What do you wanna do first?

[Clicks Tongue]

Okay, so much for that. What
do you wanna do second?

- What about a game?
- Hey, great. Let's play some games.

I know a fascinating
adult party game.

It's called nymphs and satyrs.

In several states, you can go to jail
just explaining the rules to someone.

Well, I think you oughta
take turns paying me tribute.

You know, making
speeches, proposing toasts.

Okay. Here's to
many happy years.

That's not a real
bachelor party toast.

I know the kind of
thing Ted means.

Here's mud in your
eye, you horse's neck,

for trading in your
freedom for a ball and chain.

Keep her pregnant in the
summer and barefoot in the winter.


I got it out of a
book of party toasts.

It's pretty dumb, but
it's what he wants.

Well, here's to Ted
Baxter. He's quite a guy.

One of the world's
great bachelors.

You know something, Ted, when you
got married, you broke a lot of hearts.

But don't worry about it.
Georgette's family will soon get over it.

[Laughs] I love this.

It's like a Dean Martin roast.

Go ahead, do some more. I
can take it. Lou, what about you?

I don't wanna give a toast, Ted.

Aw, come on, Lou. Say
whatever is on your mind.


Here's to the
girls of your youth,

the girls of your dreams,
the first girl you ever loved.

To the things that
might have been...

and the things
that never will be...

throughout your whole life...

until you die.

I'm not gonna drink to that.

Could I see you in my bedroom?

If I'd only known
it was that easy.

I wanna know what's
bothering you tonight.

I don't wanna talk about this.

Know what I think?

I think the reason you
didn't go down there...

has nothing to do with not
wanting to dump food on Veronica.

I think you're afraid that seeing her
again might, uh, rekindle something.

Don't be ridiculous,
Mary. I hate her.

I don't believe you.

Methinks thou dost
protest too much.

What did you say? I
said I don't believe you.

No, no, the other part.
Repeat the other part.

Mr. Grant, that's just an
expression. You can't repeat that.

Of course you can, Mary. I wanna
hear exactly what you just said.

I said,

[Mumbling] methinks
thou dost protest too much.

You thinks that, dost you?

Come on, Mr. Grant.

Well, let me tell thee
something, Mary.

You're right.

I'm afraid, if I go down
there and see her,

it'll start all over again.

Well, so what's wrong with
it starting all over again?

Mr. Grant, it's been 30
years. I'm sure she's changed.

I don't know, Mary.

What do I stand to gain by
digging up a 30-year-old romance?

Oh, Lou, we're
playing charades...

and I need help acting out
The Naked and the Dead.

Sorry, Sue Ann. I have
to go to a restaurant.

Let's face it, dear. I should
have done the cooking.


♪♪ [Piano: Lounge]

[Mouthing] [Aloud] Veronica?


You... You... You
haven't changed at all.

Well... Not at all.

Thank you. Thank
you, Lou. You have.

- Oh?
- You-You look even better.


I'm having some dessert.
You wanna join me?

Oh, um... Um, no.

I, uh... I better not. I
gotta watch my weight.

What are you talking
about? You look marvelous.

A couple of chocolate éclairs.

It's been a long
time. It sure has.

Thirty years. Has
it been that long?

I was almost afraid to
call you yesterday. Oh.

- I thought maybe you were
still holding a grudge.
- Grudge?

What for? Why
would I hold a grudge?

- Because of
the letter I sent you.
- Letter? What letter?

The last letter I sent you
when you were in the army.

Oh, come on, Lou. You remember.

No, I can't say that I do.


Who... Who am I kidding?

I'll tell you the truth.

I remember that letter.

And I did have a
grudge against you.

In fact, you wanna
know something silly?

I had a crazy idea...

When you invited
me here for dinner,

I had this crazy idea that I...

- No, I can't tell you.
- What?

No, I can't tell you. Oh,
come on, Lou. Tell me.

All right. I was gonna dump
chipped beef on your head.


Well, you see, that's what I
was eating when I got your letter.

Oh. Crazy idea, huh?

Huh? Crazy.

I have some, um,

crazy ideas about you too, Lou.

The only difference
is that my ideas...

are things we, uh,
both might enjoy.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I'm talking
about things that, um,

ladies didn't talk
about 30 years ago.

You wanna go drinking with me?


Oh. Oh.

Oh, I... Uh, uh... I feel
funny talking about that.

Talking about what?

Uh, that-that thing
that, uh, isn't drinking.

You are more wonderful,
if that's possible.

Oh, it is just so good
to see you again.

I... I don't mind being
here with you either.

I really don't. I like it.

Uh, thank you.

Can I ask you something?

Is it, uh, one of
those things...

that ladies didn't talk
about 30 years ago?


Shoot. Can I borrow
a hundred dollars?

A hundred dollars? I wouldn't ask
you if it wasn't for a very good reason.

Well, listen. I don't
need an explanation.

I mean, you wouldn't
call me up after 30 years...

to borrow money if you
didn't have a terrific reason.

Oh, Lou, you are
still the greatest.

Listen. Listen, I got an idea.

I got tickets for the basketball game
tomorrow night. Would you like to go?

Oh, I would love
to go, but I can't.

Huh? I'm leaving town tonight.
That's why I need the hundred bucks.

You see, my boyfriend has
gotta get his trombone out of hock.

And his wife won't
give him the money.

You-You need the money
because your boyfriend...

Has to get his
trombone... Out of hock.

Because his wife... His wife
won't give him the money.

Well, we are really
stranded, Lou.

Now, if he can get his horn
and he can get a couple of gigs,

we can work our way to Vegas.

Uh... Uh... Yeah. Well, yeah.

I got a party to go to.

Uh, it's... it's great seeing
you again, Veronica.

You too, Lou.
I'm really... I'm...

I'm really glad I came.
I learned something.

- What's that?
- Well, the past is past.

You can't go back.
Nothing stays the same.

Especially us.

I'm not the guy I
was 30 years ago.

I'm older and I'm wiser.

I guess I've... I guess
I've just mellowed.

So long. So long.

Aw, what the hell.

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Doorbell Rings]

Mr. Grant. Hi, Mary.

Was she there? Oh, yeah.

Well, how did it go? Fine.

Fine. Couldn't have been better.

Then you're not sorry
you took my advice?

Sorry? That's the best
advice you ever gave me.

Oh, Mr. Grant, come in. Sit down.
Tell me all about it. What did you do?

Well, we talked over old times.

Had dessert. Ah, that's nice.

You gonna see her again?

No, I don't think so, Mary.

I... I just wanna
remember her...

the way she looked
when I left her.