Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 4, Episode 2 - Angels in the Snow - full transcript

Impulsively, Mary starts dating a man named Stephen Linder, who she met at the market. Despite the two having a good time together doing impulsive things like making angels in the snow, Stephen is, according to Rhoda, not quite Mary's type - he's a little short... in the age department. The idea that Stephen is a few years younger doesn't bother Mary, until she confirms that he is exactly eight years younger than she is. In anticipation of meeting Stephen's friends at a party at his place, Mary tries to compensate for their age difference. With Rhoda along at the party for moral support, Mary comes to a realization about whether dating this mid-twentysomething has a long term future.

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

YOU KNOW, MARY, THE
THING I LIKE ABOUT OUR

SNOWMAN IS, HE HAS A
VERY NICE PERSONALITY.



YOU'RE RIGHT. GOOD LISTENER.

AND A NICE, BROAD SMILE.

WELL, HE'D HAVE HAD A BROADER
SMILE IF WE HADN'T RUN OUT OF COAL.

RIGHT. OH, STEPHEN,
LOOK AT OUR SNOWMAN!

GEE, I WISH I KNEW SOMEONE TO FIX HIM
UP WITH. HE SEEMS SO LONELY OUT THERE.

I KNOW. HEY, YOU KNOW
ANY NICE "SNOWLADIES"?

[Laughing]

NICE APARTMENT. OH! THANK
YOU. I JUST... REDECORATED.

I LIKE YOUR SNOWFALL TOO. FIRST
SNOWFALLS ARE TERRIFIC, HUH?

THEY ARE ONE OF
LIFE'S GREAT FIRSTS.

LISTEN, MARY. BEFORE I GO,
I THINK I SHOULD TELL YOU.

YOU WERE GREAT OUT THERE TODAY!

THE WAY YOU ROLLED THE
HEAD AND ALL... OH, WELL...

I MEAN, MOST GIRLS
I KNOW DON'T ROLL.



THEY KINDA "MUSH." YEAH,
WELL, I'VE NEVER BEEN A MUSHER.

[Banging] [Rhoda] MAR,
COULD YOU GET THE DOOR?

I-I HAVE NO HANDS!

HI! UH, RHODA MORGENSTERN,
THIS IS STEPHEN LINDER.

OH! HELLO, STEPHEN. HI.

FORGIVE MY FOLIAGE.

I'M BABYSITTING WITH RHODA'S PLANTS.
SHE'S GOING SKIING FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

- OH, YOU PICKED
A GOOD TIME FOR IT.
- I ALWAYS WAIT FOR WINTER.

I'VE GOT MY GLOVES ON.
THAT MUST MEAN I'M LEAVING.

HEY, STEPHEN. THANK YOU
FOR A TERRIFIC SUNDAY.

YEAH, IT WAS SUPER.
BYE, MARY. BYE.

BYE, RHODA! OH,
SO LONG, STEPHEN.

WELL? I, UH, MET HIM AT
THE MARKET THIS MORNING.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY? I WAS THERE
YESTERDAY; THEY WERE ALL OUT OF HIM.

YOU MEAN, YOU TWO JUST MET, MARY,
AND YOU SPENT THE DAY TOGETHER...

- FROLICKING THROUGH THE SNOW?
- YEAH!

AH! ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE GREAT LIFE THINGS...

THAT COME FREE WITH STRAIGHT
TEETH AND BUTTON NOSES.

[Chuckles] MARY, SOMETIMES I THINK
YOU LIVE IN A SHAMPOO COMMERCIAL.

- WHAT?
- YOU KNOW, THOSE
SHAMPOO COMMERCIAL GIRLS?

THEY'RE ALWAYS GETTING
RID OF THEIR SPLIT ENDS...

AND FALLING IN LOVE OUTDOORS.

HEY, RHODA, YOU KNOW
WHAT WE DID TODAY?

WHAT? ANGELS IN
THE SNOW. [Chuckles]

WHAT IS THAT, A WEIGHT WATCHERS
RECIPE FOR PRETEND ICE CREAM?

I KNOW. SIX ICE CUBES,
A POUND OF AIR...

NO, COME ON. IT'S THIS THING YOU
DO IN THE SNOW. YOU LIE DOWN...

WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR THIS ABOUT YOU.

COME ON! THEY DID
IT IN LOVE STORY.

YOU LIE DOWN IN THE SNOW, AND
YOU FLAP YOUR ARMS AND YOUR LEGS...

BACK AND FORTH TOGETHER...
AND THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE...

ANGELS... IN THE S...

YOU DID THAT? IN PUBLIC? YES.

[Chuckles] LISTEN. I'M GONNA
DO IT THIS WEEK SKIING.

MAYBE I'LL GET MISTAKEN
FOR ALI McGRAW.

TERMINAL, BUT CUTE.

HEY, THAT'S RIGHT. WHEN DO
YOU GET BACK? OH! THURSDAY.

MARY, I GOTTA PACK YET... I'M
LEAVING IN JUST TWO HOURS.

HEY, RHODA, DO YOU WANT
TO KNOW SOMETHING FUNNY?

STEPHEN AND I HAD A GREAT TIME
TOGETHER... I MEAN, I KNOW HE LIKED ME...

BUT HE DIDN'T ASK FOR MY
PHONE NUMBER OR ANYTHING. MM.

- OH, WELL. INSECURITY'S
HALF THE FUN, RIGHT?
- TRUE.

HEY! HAVE A GOOD TIME.
OH, THANKS, KID. BYE-BYE.

OH! ABOUT FERN THERE.

ALL YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS THAT
SHE GET LOTS OF WATER AND LOTS OF LOVE.

NOT TOO MUCH LOVE, FERN.

YOU GET PREGNANT, I'M
NOT PAYING FOR THE PRUNING.

[Door Closes]

HI! HI.

HOW 'BOUT THAT SNOW OUT
THERE, HUH, MURR? YEAH.

I MEAN, HOW 'BOUT THAT SNOW?

MARY, YOU'RE IN ONE OF THOSE
REAL CHIPPER MOODS, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, I...

ONE OF THOSE "I MIGHT START
HUMMING ANYTIME" MOODS?

- WELL...
- WELL, I'M NOT IN ONE OF THOSE MOODS.

I'M IN ONE OF THOSE "I HATE
MONDAY'S GUTS" MOODS.

- A BAD WEEKEND, HUH?
- [Sighs] MY WIFE
THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS...

WHEN THE BLIZZARD CAME UP RIGHT AFTER
I PUT THE FALL FERTILIZER ON THE LAWN.

SHE SAID WE'D HAVE THE
GREENEST SNOW ON THE BLOCK.

NOW, LOOK, DON'T THINK I'M TAKING
THIS OUT ON YOU, MARY. NO, I KNOW.

BECAUSE I'M GONNA TAKE
THIS OUT ON EVERYBODY.

GUYS! HI, GUYS. MAR. TED.

HEY, MURR. HOW'S-A BOY?

YOU'RE TED. DOES IT
WORRY YOU THAT YOU'RE TED?

WELL, WAS YOUR WEEKEND
AS GREAT AS MINE, MAR?

YEAH, TED, IT WAS A PRETTY NICE
WEEKEND. GUESS WHAT I DID ON MY WEEKEND.

MORNING, EVERYBODY.
HI, LOU. GOOD MORNING.

COME ON. GUESS.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.

MY WEEKEND WAS "SIN-SATIONAL."

TED, WE DON'T WANT
TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

WHAT'D YOU DO THIS
WEEKEND, MR. GRANT? OH,

MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S HAMSTER
DIED, AND I HAD TO GO TO THE FUNERAL.

HEY, DON'T YOU GET
IT? "SIN-SATIONAL"?

I JUST HOPE THEY CRY
LIKE THAT WHEN I DIE.

COME ON, GUYS. I DIDN'T GET TO
TELL WHAT I DID ON MY WEEKEND.

[Phone Ringing] I'LL WAIT
TILL YOU'RE OFF, MAR,

THEN I'LL GIVE YOU
ANOTHER HINT. NEWSROOM.

STEPHEN, HI! HEY, YOU
REMEMBERED THAT I WORK HERE.

WOULD... AH, GEE, I'D LOVE TO,
BUT I CAN'T TAKE THE DAY OFF NOW.

I MEAN, I'M ALREADY...
IN THE DAY. [Chuckles]

WELL, ABOUT THE EARLIEST
THAT I COULD TAKE THE DAY OFF...

WOULD BE, UH, 7:00 TONIGHT.

OKAY! I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

[Chuckles] ALL RIGHT. I PROMISE
TO ACT LIKE IT'S MORNING.

BYE. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I DID
ON MY WEEKEND. [Chuckling]

I GOT CONSUMMATED.

DID YOU TAKE SOMETHIN' FOR IT?

[Lou's Door Closes]

[Knocking] MARY?

RHODA! HI. [Door Closes]

I'D LOOK AT YOU, BUT
I CAN'T. I'M BASTING.

[Sighs] FERN! MOMMY'S HOME!

- AH, SHE LOOKS GOOD, MAR.
- SO HOW WAS THE TRIP?

OH, IT WAS A TACKY LODGE. THEY USED
MARGARINE IN THEIR HOT BUTTERED RUM.

- WHAT ABOUT THE SKIING?
- THE SKIING? A DISASTER.

I FOUND OUT MY CENTER OF
GRAVITY IS SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK.

- [Groans, Sighs]
- COME ON. YOU'RE A GOOD SKIER.

NO, MARY, YOU'RE
CONFUSING ME WITH YOU.

REMEMBER LAST YEAR? YOU
WERE BETTER THAN I AT SKIING.

I WAS BETTER THAN YOU AT STANDING
IN THE LOBBY, GOING IN THE ELEVATOR,

- BEING IN MY ROOM.
- NO!

THOSE ARE MY SPECIALTY AREAS.
YES. GEE, THAT SMELLS GOOD.

WHAT IS THAT? TARRAGON CHICKEN.

TARRAGON. THAT'S ONE OF THOSE SPICES
THAT NOBODY REALLY KNOWS WHAT IT IS.

THEY ALL PRETEND THEY
DO. WELL, STEPHEN LIKES IT.

STEPHEN? [Gasps]
FLAPPING-IN-THE-SNOW STEPHEN?

YEAH. MARY, ARE
YOU SEEING HIM A LOT?

WELL, YEAH. I GUESS
SO. NO KIDDING.

GEE, THAT'S INTERESTING.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "THAT'S INTERESTING"?
NO, I'M JUST... I'M SURPRISED.

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T
SEEM TO BE YOUR TYPE.

OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT
TYPE DID HE SEEM TO BE?

OH, LISTEN. MAYBE I... I SHOULDN'T
EVEN HAVE BROUGHT IT UP.

I MEAN, IT'S SILLY. BUT, YOU
KNOW ME, ONCE I GET STARTED.

NO. NO, FORGET IT.
NO, GO AHEAD. WHAT?

[Clicks Tongue] WELL, MARY, UH,

IT'S JUST THAT STEPHEN
SEEMED... SHORT.

- SHORT?
- IN AGE. HE'S A LITTLE
SHORT IN THE AGE, MAR.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT... COME ON.
AGE DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

- I MEAN, WHAT'S
TWO OR THREE YEARS?
- IT'S TRUE. I AGREE WITH YOU.

AGE DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
AND IT'S MORE THAN TWO OR THREE YEARS.

I MEAN, UH, ARE YOU
SAYING YOU THINK HE'S 30?

I'D SAY HE'S 30... 31...

- TWENTY-NINE...
- TWENTY-SEVEN. MAYBE 27 AND A HALF.

- COME ON, 27.
- DOES IT BOTHER YOU?

NO! I JUST HAPPEN TO
KNOW HE'S OLDER THAN 27.

THERE ARE WAYS TO FIND OUT HIS
AGE. RHODA, I'M NOT INTERESTED...

IN FINDING OUT HIS
AGE. [Door Buzzing]

HOW? WELL...

[Stephen] CAN I COME IN? THE WINE AND ME
HAVE TO BE SERVED AT ROOM TEMPERATURE.

IF THE WINE HAS A CUTE
NAME, HE'S UNDER 30.

HI! HI, MARY. HI, RHODA.

HI, STEPHEN. THANK YOU!

"GRANNY'S APPLE PIZZAZZ."

I GOTTA GO. LISTEN. ENJOY
YOUR TARRAGON, YOU TWO.

BYE, RHODA. BYE!

THIS MUST BE GOOD
WINE. IT HAS A CORK.

- HEY, RHODA'S A GREAT GIRL.
- YEAH, BUT, UH...

- SHE'S NOT A GIRL.
- OH?

I MEAN, SHE'S... 33.

OH, YEAH? MY SISTER'S 33.

HEY, STEPHEN, I'M 33. OH.

HOW OLD ARE YOU? TWENTY-FIVE.

SOMEHOW, MARY, I
DON'T THINK THIS IS YOU.

WELL, WE'RE HERE. LET'S LOOK AROUND.
WE MIGHT FIND SOMETHING WE LIKE.

NO, KID. THE FLYING BONDINIS
WOULDN'T FIND ANYTHING THEY LIKE.

MARY, LOOK AT THIS: I MEAN,
YOU PUT ON THESE BOOTS,

YOU START WALKIN'
TOWARDS SAILORS.

HEY, THIS IS KIND OF CUTE, DON'T
YOU THINK? MARY, I HATE THIS STORE.

I MEAN, IT'S TRYING TOO HARD.
I LIKE A STORE THAT'S HAPPY...

TO JUST LIE THERE
AND RIP ME OFF.

[Sighs] MISS?

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS STORE?

"SHOT DOWN IN ECUADOR,
JUNIOR." WHAT? I-I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

[Slower, Louder] "SHOT DOWN...

IN ECUADOR, JUNIOR."

- I SEE. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- WELL, YOU KNOW.

HEY. I JUST WORK HERE, YOU KNOW?

MARY, WHY ARE WE IN THIS PLACE?
BECAUSE, I'M ALL OUT OF OTHER PLACES,

AND I GOTTA FIND SOMETHING TO WEAR
TO THE PARTY STEPHEN'S TAKING ME TO.

BUT I LIKE THE STUFF IN
YOUR REGULAR PLACES.

USUALLY, YOU LIKE THE STUFF
IN YOUR REGULAR PLACES.

I'M HAVING TROUBLE
FINDING MY SIZE. OH, MARY.

THIS STORE DOESN'T USE
ANYTHING AS MUNDANE AS SIZES.

THESE CLOTHES ARE DIVIDED
ACCORDING TO ASTROLOGICAL SIGN.

YOU, MY DEAR, TAKE A BULL.

AH, I WONDER IF SHY
PEOPLE SHOP HERE.

WHAT IS THIS? I'M GONNA
TRY SOME OF THIS ON.

MARY... UH, EXCUSE ME, MISS.

DO YOU HAVE THIS ORANGE
TOP IN WHITE, IN MEDIUM?

I ONLY HAVE THE ORANGE
TOP IN WHITE, IN SMALL.

OH, WELL, DO YOU HAVE THE
PINK TOP IN GREEN, IN MEDIUM?

I MAY HAVE THE PINK
TOP IN WHITE, IN MEDIUM.

COULD YOU CHECK?

- SURE!
- THANK YOU.

MARY... MARY, LISTEN TO THIS.

A FRIEND IS SOMEONE
WHO'S FRIENDLY.

"A FRIEND IS SOMEONE
WHO'S FRIENDLY.

"EVEN WHEN IT'S RAINING.

"EVEN WHEN IT'S NIGHTTIME.

"EVEN WHEN IT'S SNOWING.

EVEN WHEN IT ISN'T."

3.50.

WE ONLY HAVE THE PINK
TOP IN MEDIUM, IN BLUE.

BUT I WILL CHECK ON THE GREEN
TOP IN MEDIUM, IN WHITE. OKAY?

[Mary] YES, FINE. GOOD.

COME ON OUT, KID. LET'S
SEE HOW SOMETHIN' LOOKS.

SORT OF... INTERESTING,
DON'T YOU THINK?

THEY'RE A LOT CUTER OFF.

MARY, TAKE A LOOK IN
THE MIRROR THERE, HUH?

YOU SEE, MAR? THESE CLOTHES
ARE TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.

- RHODA, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
- MARY, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET
AND UPTIGHT...

'CAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO MEET STEPHEN'S
FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST TIME AT HIS PARTY.

AND YOU ARE TRYING TO FIT IN.
SUDDENLY YOU'RE NOT MARY RICHARDS.

- YOU'RE MARY RICHARDS,
TEEN QUEEN.
- AW, COME ON!

I WOULDN'T DO THAT
TO ME. SURE YOU WOULD.

LOOK, KID, ANYBODY WOULD. ANYONE
WHO'S FEELING FUNNY ABOUT AN AGE THING.

RHODA, I JUST WANT TO FIND SOMETHING
CUTE TO WEAR TO THE PARTY, OKAY?

OKAY. OKAY. DID
YOU FIND ANY TOPS?

I'M SORRY, WE'RE CLOSED.

OKAY, OKAY. YOU MIGHT BE
RIGHT ABOUT THE CLOTHES THING.

BUT THE AGE THING IS
NO BIG DEAL, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THE CLOTHES THING,
THE AGE THING WOULD NEVER OCCUR TO ME.

DID YOU ASK STEPHEN
HIS AGE? YES, I DID.

DID HE TELL YOU? YES.

WHAT? I FORGOT.
I... SOME... NUMBER.

MARY, TED JUST ASKED ME IF
HE COULD DEDICATE THE NEWS.

"DEDICATE" THE NEWS?

"TO DOTTY, IN MEMORY OF
A WONDERFUL WEEKEND."

THAT'S TED.

HIYA, BABE! OH, STEPHEN. HI.

UH, MR. GRANT. I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET STEPHEN LINDER.

- OH, NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
SO SOON?

- AM I LATE, OR ARE YOU EARLY?
- WE HAD TO MOVE THE PARTY
TO MY PLACE,

SO I HAVE TO GET THERE
EARLY... SO, YOU READY?

UH, NO. I'M-I'M RIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF...

WELL, CAN'T YOU JUST
DUCK OUT? NO, I CAN'T.

I'M ONE OF THE ONES WHO
TELLS ON PEOPLE WHO DUCK OUT.

OH. OKAY, WELL, UH... I
GUESS I'LL JUST GO ON OVER,

AND YOU CAN MEET ME THERE. OKAY.

LISTEN, I'LL ASK RHODA TO COME
TO THE PARTY. IS THAT ALL RIGHT?

OH, SURE. YOU GOT THE
ADDRESS, RIGHT? RIGHT.

OKAY.

SEE YA LATER.

NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR.

YEAH.

UH, UH, MARY?

- WE'RE FRIENDS, RIGHT? HUH?
- RIGHT.

I MEAN, WE'VE SKIRTED AROUND SOME
PRETTY HEAVY ISSUES TOGETHER, RIGHT?

RIGHT. YEAH. WELL, UM,

I AM GOING TO PUT THIS
AS GENTLY AS I CAN, MARY.

YOU ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE...

AND DRIVING A STAKE THROUGH THE
HEART OF ALL THOSE WHO LOVE YOU.

WHAT? MARY, YOUR YOUNG MAN...

HE'S A YOUNG MAN!

MR. GRANT! YOU'RE MAKIN' A
MISTAKE. THAT KID IS NOBODY...

FOR A MEDIUM-AGE GIRL LIKE YOU.

LOU! NOT NOW, TED.

I MEAN, IF IT WERE ANYONE
ELSE: RHODA, MAYBE, OR...

YOU KNOW, I AM REALLY,
REALLY... T.O.'ed, MAR.

T.O.'ed. BUTT OUT, TED.

I THINK IT'S TIME I SAID SOMETHING
HERE, LOU. NO, IT'S NOT, TED.

I'M SORRY, LOU, BUT I
HAVE TO SPEAK FRANKLY.

IF MARY'S INVOLVED IN
AN AUTUMN-SPRING AFFAIR,

THAT'S HER BUSINESS.

USUALLY, IT'S THE MAN WHO'S AUTUMN,
BUT WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

I MYSELF AM INTO A HEAVY
AUTUMN-SPRING THING.

LOOK, IF YOU TWO DON'T MIND, I FIND
THIS EXTREMELY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I'M GONNA STAPLE THIS.

I'M GONNA... STAPLE IT.

MARY?

OKAY. SO IT'S... NONE
OF MY BUSINESS.

AND I... AGREE WITH HIM, MARY.
IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

[Knocking] [Mary]
RHODA, IT'S ME.

COME ON IN, MAR.

HOW DO I LOOK IN SHORT HAIR? AH!

- IT CHANGES YOUR WHOLE FACE.
- [Laughing]

- HEY, AREN'T YOU GOIN' TO THAT
PARTY TONIGHT, WITH STEPHEN?
- UH, YEAH. YEAH, I AM.

BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D WANT TO GO WITH ME.

OH, NO. I GOT TOO
MUCH TO DO HERE, KID.

I GOTTA WORK ON THIS TONIGHT.
I'M MAKIN' SOME POPCORN.

AND I GOTTA GO OVER MY
CHECKBOOK. SOMETHING'S WRONG.

IT BALANCES.

BUT, GEE, RHODA, I WAS SORT
OF HOPING, YOU KNOW, THAT...

[Popping] SHH! MARY? YOU
HEAR THAT? MARY, YOU AND I...

ARE IN ON ONE OF NATURE'S
MOST PRECIOUS MOMENTS.

A NEW POPCORN IS BEING
BORN INTO THE WORLD.

YES, MARY, SOMEWHERE OUT THERE,
AN EAR OF CORN IS PASSING OUT CIGARS.

THAT'S IT, BABY! RHODA.

I NEED YOU TO GO TO
THIS PARTY WITH ME.

RHODA? YES. WHAT?

ANYWAY, YOU'LL HAVE A GOOD
TIME THERE. [Popping Continues]

AND LISTEN. WHAT GOOD IS
SITTING ALONE IN YOUR ROOM?

I SHOULD "COME HEAR
THE MUSIC PLAY," RIGHT?

NAH, I REALLY DON'T
WANT TO GO, KID.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT THIS
WIG? NO ONE WOULD EVER GUESS IT'S A WIG.

WHO WOULD GO OUT AND PAY
MONEY FOR ANYTHING THIS UGLY?

WELL, OKAY, I'LL, UH...
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

WAIT.

MARY, I DON'T WANT TO BE AT A
PARTY WITH THOSE YOUNGER GUYS.

REALLY. I MEAN, THEY ALWAYS END
UP SAYIN' THE SAME THING TO ME.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S INCREDIBLE,
RHODA? I'M TOTALLY UNAWARE...

OF THE VAST
DIFFERENCE IN OUR AGES."

YOU SEE WHY I NEED YOU THERE?
YOU CAN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, I'M NOT LAUGHING
ABOUT THE AGE THING THESE DAYS.

- OKAY, KID. I'LL GO.
- WILL YOU REALLY?

YEAH, SURE. AW, THANKS.

OH, WAIT, MARY. I'M EXPECTING A
GUY IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES. I FORGOT.

WELL, THEN, YOU CAN'T GO. NO,
MY FRIEND, I WILL GO WITH YOU.

NO, REALLY. I'LL LEAVE HIM A NOTE.
WRITE IT FOR ME WHILE I CHANGE.

YEAH, SURE... UH,
WHAT'LL I SAY? UH,

JUST START WITH,
UH, "DEAR PIZZA MAN."

♪♪ [Woman Singing Motown]

MARY, WHOSE PLACE IS
THIS? [Clears Throat] STEPHEN'S.

HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE? N-NO.

HEY MARY, LISTEN. DO
YOU REMEMBER THAT SONG?

THAT WAS THE CLOSING
NUMBER AT MY PROM.

MY DATE GOT BEAT
UP TO THIS SONG.

HEY, MY LIFE IS THEIR NOSTALGIA.

I WONDER WHERE STEPHEN IS.

OH, WELL, LET'S SIT DOWN. THE
MAÎTRE D' SEEMS TO BE ON A BREAK.

- WHICH ONE IS MARY RICHARDS?
- OH. HI. I AM.

HEY. AND? AND,
RHODA MORGENSTERN.

HEY, I'M BECK WILSON,
STEVE'S ROOMMATE.

STEVE WENT OUT TO GET SOME
ICE. MAY I TAKE YOUR COATS?

YES. THANK YOU.

MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
THERE'S WINE IN THE KITCHEN.

OKAY.

RHODA, DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU
AND I ARE THE ONLY TWO IN THE ROOM...

WEARING EYELINER? MM-HMM.

MARY, THERE'S
STEPHEN. STEPHEN! HI.

HI, BABE. LET ME JUST
PUT THIS ICE DOWN.

OH, OKAY.

I'M GONNA GET US
SOME WINE. GOOD.

HELLO. HOW ARE YOU?

WHY DO YOU ASK THAT NOW?

THANK YOU, BECK, FOR
WASHING OUT THE PAPER CUPS.

THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.

YOU AND MARY SHOULD HITCHHIKE
ACROSS COUNTRY THIS SUMMER.

IT WOULD REALLY GET
YOUR HEADS TOGETHER.

I'D DO IT. BUT I DON'T THINK MY
WIG CASE WOULD FIT IN A KNAPSACK.

SO, MARY, I HEAR YOU WORK IN TV.

- YES, I DO.
- YEAH. WE'RE BOTH KIND OF
INTO THE SAME THING.

- OH, REALLY? WHAT DO YOU DO?
- WELL, I WATCH A LOT OF TV.

HI. HI.

SO. WHAT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT?

WELL, MARY AND I WERE
JUST TALKING ABOUT HER

MAYBE HITCHING ACROSS
COUNTRY THIS SUMMER.

OH, WELL. SEE, I DON'T REALLY
HITCH THAT MUCH. YEAH. [Chuckles]

THE MOST WE HITCH IS NEVER.

THEN FOR SURE YOU GUYS
GOTTA HITCH IN EUROPE,

'CAUSE IT'S REALLY EASY TO GET
RIDES THERE... LIKE AMSTERDAM...

AMSTERDAM IS SO GREAT.
I WAS THERE FOR A MONTH,

AND I RAN OUT OF MONEY, BUT, LIKE,
PEOPLE THERE JUST KEPT GIVIN' ME MONEY.

PEOPLE KEPT GIVING YOU
MONEY? WHAT PEOPLE?

PEOPLE I WENT UP TO
AND ASKED FOR MONEY.

- I'VE BEEN TO AMSTERDAM, SO...
- YOU KNOW, IT'S MY FAVORITE CITY?

HEY, I WAS THERE TOO! YOU
KNOW WHERE WE STAYED?

[Mary] WHERE? OUTSIDE!

WHERE'D YOU STAY? INSIDE.

REALLY? FRIENDS OF MINE
STAYED THERE TOO. WHERE INSIDE?

UH, IT WAS THE AMSTERDAM HILTON.

I WASN'T THERE THAT MUCH THOUGH.
REALLY JUST TO SLEEP THERE. [Chuckling]

IT WAS... ONE OF
THEIR FUNKIER ROOMS.

WHEN WERE YOU IN AMSTERDAM?
UH, THE SUMMER I WAS 21.

WHEN WAS THAT? TWELVE YEARS AGO.

TWELVE YEARS AGO, I WAS
RUNNIN' FOR HALL MONITOR...

AT FRANKLIN
ROOSEVELT JUNIOR HIGH.

STEVE? TWELVE YEARS
AGO, WHAT WERE YOU DOIN'?

JUST STARTING
PUBERTY. [Rhoda Chuckles]

I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I WAS.

I WAS AT A PARTY LIKE THIS,

SITTING ON A COUCH LIKE THIS,

DRINKIN' WINE FROM A
PAPER CUP, LIKE THIS.

YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY.

NOW? NOW.

I'LL GET THE COATS.

ANYTHING WRONG?

WELL, IT'S... IT'S JUST THAT YOU
AND I WERE AT THE SAME PARTY,

AND I THINK WE REALLY
HAD DIFFERENT TIMES.

OH, NO, WE DIDN'T. WHAT
KIND OF TIME DID YOU HAVE?

NOT SO GREAT.

WH-WHAT KIND OF
TIME DID YOU HAVE?

FANTASTIC.

I HAD A TERRIFIC TIME.

THIS IS THE BEST
PARTY WE EVER HAD.

DO YOU THINK THIS
MEANS SOMETHING?

YEAH, I DO.

OH. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, STEPHEN.

GOOD NIGHT.

THANK YOU, BECK. IT
WAS A MARVELOUS PARTY.

HEY, RHODA, DON'T GO YET. WE'LL
GO DOWNTOWN AND GOOF ON PEOPLE.

GOOF ON PEOPLE? WHAT'S THAT?

YOU KNOW, WALK AROUND, ACT
WEIRD, HOPE SOMEBODY NOTICES?

THAT'S MY LIFE, KID.

SAY, MAR, WOULD YOU AND
YOUR AUTUMN-SPRING GUY...

CARE TO DOUBLE-DATE AT THE DRIVE-IN
MOVIE WITH ME AND MY SPRING-AUTUMN GAL?

NO, I DON'T THINK SO, TED. STEPHEN AND I
AREN'T SEEING EACH OTHER ANYMORE ANYWAY.

- OH, REALLY? HOW COME?
- THAT'S MARY'S BUSINESS, TED.

WAS IT THAT AGE
BUGABOO THING, MAR?

NO, TED, IT WASN'T A
DIFFERENCE IN AGE;

IT WAS... A
DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE.

I MEAN, I STILL REALLY THINK
THAT AGE DOESN'T MATTER...

IF TWO PEOPLE ARE
RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.

I KNEW IT WOULDN'T WORK.

OH, THE GAME OF
AMOUR. [Chuckles]

NO KIDDIN', MAR.

TAKE THIS... TAKE THIS
AUTUMN-SPRING THING THAT I'M INTO.

[Chuckles] WELL, ACTUALLY, I
CAN'T COUNT MYSELF AS AUTUMN.

I'M MORE LIKE LATE
SUMMER. [Chuckling]

LET'S SAY THE END
OF AUGUST, MID-JULY.

WELL, WHY QUIBBLE? I'M LATER THAN
MEMORIAL DAY, BUT EARLIER THAN LABOR DAY.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. I TAKE THAT BACK.
ACTUALLY, I'M MORE LIKE THE FOURTH OF JULY.

I MEAN, FIRECRACKERS,
PICNICS IN THE PARK...

DOUBLEHEADERS,
BIRTH OF A NATION,

YANKEE DOODLE DANDY... YEAH.

[Mews]