Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 24 - Mary Richards and the Incredible Plant Lady - full transcript

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

MISS RICHARDS, YOU
HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GREAT

SATISFACTION WE GET
FROM WORKING ON YOUR CAR.



WHY DON'T YOU WAIT HERE, AND WE'LL
HAVE YOUR CAR FOR YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.

THANK YOU. HEY,
ANY WORD ON MY CAR?

THEY'RE STILL TRYING
TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER.

THE TROUBLE WITH YOU
IS YOU ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL

SOMETHING GOES WRONG
BEFORE YOU BRING IT IN.

WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT YOUR FRIEND
DOES? SHE BRINGS IT IN EVERY 3,000 MILES.

SHE TAKES CARE OF HER CAR
LIKE SHE TAKES CARE OF HERSELF.

- OH, WELL...
- YOU SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOUR CAR...

LIKE SHE TAKES CARE OF HERSELF.

I'LL SEE YA.

HUH. WHY DO I HAVE THE TERRIBLE FEELING
HE'S GONNA HAVE MY BODY RECALLED?

IT'S EMBARRASSING. THEY ALWAYS
MAKE THAT KIND OF FUSS OVER ME.

WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN SITTING IN THE BACK
OF THE SHOP ON A GREASY TEN-GALLON DRUM.

THAT'S WHERE THEY PUT
ME WHEN I'M NOT WITH YOU.



IT'S NOT SO GREAT
UP HERE EITHER.

I MEAN, DO YOU EVER NOTICE HOW
THEY AIM YOU RIGHT AT THE NEW CARS?

YEAH. I THINK THEY DO
IT JUST TO TEASE YOU.

OH, RHODA, IT'S STILL HERE.

I LOVE THIS LITTLE BEAUTY.

YEAH, IT REALLY
IS GORGEOUS, MAR.

LOOK. LOOK HOW IT STARES AT YA.

THOSE BIG SOULFUL HEADLIGHTS.

YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR
IT SAYING, "I LOVE YA. TAKE ME HOME."

I WANT TO. I WANT
TO, BUT I CAN'T.

TOO MUCH, HUH? OH, IT HAS TO BE.

AH, MARY, YOU MEAN YOU
HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED? NO.

LOOK AT THE PRICE. IF I
CAN'T HAVE IT, WHY LOOK?

IF I FELT THAT WAY, I'D NEVER
GO TO A PAUL NEWMAN MOVIE.

WELL... AT LEAST GET
BEHIND THE WHEEL, MAR, HUH?

OKAY, I WILL. YEAH, GOOD.

OH, RHODA. I GOTTA SAY, THE TWO
OF YOU LOOK TERRIFIC TOGETHER.

WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE RIDICULOUS. WHAT
DO I DO NOW THAT I'M IN BACK OF THE WHEEL?

I DON'T KNOW.
MAKE ENGINE NOISES.

VROOM, VROOM. [Laughs]

[Making Racing Noises]

WATCH OUT FOR THAT
SCHOOL CROSSING.

UH, NO, I WAS JUST...
JUST LOOKING, REALLY.

MY CAR'S BEING SERVICED, AND I
WAS JUST WHILING AWAY THE TIME.

FINE. IF YOU NEED
ME, I'LL BE OVER THERE.

GOOD, GOOD. THANK
YOU. THANK YOU.

BOY, CAR SALESMEN REALLY
ARE PUSHY, AREN'T THEY?

WELL, YOUR CAR'S READY,
MISS RICHARDS. OH, THANK YOU.

HERE'S YOUR BILL. YOU CAN PAY
THE CASHIER ON THE WAY OUT.

RIGHT. LISTEN, MISS RICHARDS,

SOME OF THE BOYS WHO
WORKED ON THE CAR, YOU KNOW,

THEY HEARD ME TALK ABOUT YOU
ALL WEEK, AND THEY WANNA MEET YOU.

BOB AND CHARLIE. COME ON,
YOU GUYS. COME ON OUT HERE.

COME ON. JUST DON'T TOUCH
ANYTHING. MISS RICHARDS, BOB.

HOW DO YOU DO?
LET ME WIPE MY HAND.

YOU'RE INCREDIBLE. 60,000 MILES AND
YOU CAN EAT OFF YOUR CARBURETOR.

- WELL, THANK YOU.
- MISS RICHARDS, CHARLIE.

HI. OH, YOU DON'T KNOW,
LADY. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

NICE TO SEE YOU FELLAS
AGAIN. I HAVE THE '65

FALCON YOU'VE BEEN
WORKING ON FOR THREE WEEKS.

- WHAT COLOR?
- SORT OF GREEN OVER RUST.

OH, THAT CAR NEEDS
A LOT OF WORK.

YEAH, AND THAT CANDY BAR UNDERNEATH THE
FRONT SEAT ISN'T IN SUCH GOOD SHAPE EITHER.

WELL, I THINK MOST PEOPLE THINK
OF THEIR CARS AS TRANSPORTATION.

I THINK OF MINE AS A
BIG PURSE ON WHEELS.

[Knocking] YEAH,
RHODA, COME ON IN.

HERE IT IS, MAR, YOUR
REVIVED AFRICAN VIOLET.

OH, RHODA, YOU
BROUGHT IT BACK TO LIFE.

YEAH, I CONSIDER MYSELF THE
KATHRYN KUHLMAN OF AFRICAN VIOLETS.

I HAD COMPLETELY
GIVEN UP ON THIS.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
REALLY INCREDIBLE.

I KNOW. IT'S THIS THING I HAVE. RHODA
MORGENSTERN, THE INCREDIBLE PLANT LADY.

HEY, WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
MARY, A PLANT KNOWS...

A PLANT KNOWS WHEN IT'S
BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED.

MAYBE IF YOU SHARED YOUR
FEELINGS WITH IT. TALK TO IT MORE.

UH-HUH. WELL, IT CERTAINLY DOES
LOOK LIKE A GOOD LITTLE LISTENER.

I'LL TRY IT. WHAT
ARE YOU DOING, KID?

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER
OR NOT I CAN AFFORD THAT NEW CAR.

AND I... WELL, I FOUND
OUT I JUST BARELY CAN.

NOW I NEED SOMEBODY TO TALK ME
OUT OF IT. RHODA, TALK ME OUT OF IT.

SURE. YOU CAN'T BUY THAT CAR.

WHY? BECAUSE ONE: YOUR
CAR IS IN PERFECT SHAPE.

TWO: WHAT DO YOU CARE IF PEOPLE
SEE YOU DRIVING A SLIGHTLY OLDER CAR?

THREE: A CONVERTIBLE IN
MINNEAPOLIS IN WINTER IS RIDICULOUS.

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT. NOT NECESSARILY.

WHY? BECAUSE, ONE: YOUR OLD
HEAP CAN'T LAST MUCH LONGER.

TWO: YOU CANNOT BE SEEN
DRIVING THAT OLD CLUNKER.

THREE: A CONVERTIBLE IN
MINNEAPOLIS IN SUMMER IS WONDERFUL.

THAT'S ABSOLUTELY
AMAZING HOW YOU CAN ARGUE

BOTH SIDES OF THE ISSUE
WITH SUCH CONVICTION.

YEAH. YOU SHOULD
HEAR ME ON NIXON.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MAR? ARE YOU GONNA

BUY THE CAR, OR YOU'RE
NOT GONNA BUY THE CAR?

I THINK I'M GONNA BUY IT.

GOOD. WHAT ARE YOU SAVING
ALL THAT MONEY FOR ANYWAY?

RIGHT. WAIT. YOU WANNA GIVE
ME THE OTHER SIDE ON THAT ONE?

YOU'RE SAVING YOUR MONEY
SO IF YOU LOSE YOUR JOB,

YOU WON'T HAVE TO MOVE
BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS...

AND SLEEP IN A ROOM WITH STORYBOOK
DOLLS AND PENNANTS ON THE WALLS...

AT THE AGE OF 32.

SO, WHO NEEDS A NEW CAR?

ANYWAY, MINE WILL
PROBABLY LAST FOREVER.

WELL, THEN YOU THINK
YOU WON'T BUY A NEW ONE?

YEAH, I DON'T THINK I WILL.

- YOU'RE SURE?
- I'M SURE.

THEN, MARY, THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

OKAY. UH, NOT HERE.

COME ON, UP IN MY PLACE.
WHY NOT HERE? WHY?

BECAUSE I HAVE A BOSTON
FERN AND A CREEPING

CHARLIE. I DON'T WANNA
LEAVE THEM ALONE TOGETHER.

OH, RHODA!

WELCOME TO MORGENSTERN'S
HOME FOR WAYWARD PLANTS.

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. I KNOW.

OH, RHODA, THEY'RE JUST
BEAUTIFUL. YOU LIKE IT?

OH, AND LOOK AT THESE FUNNY
CONTAINERS YOU'RE USING AS PLANTERS.

HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING...
YOU REALLY ARE TALENTED.

OH, THANKS, KID. GEE, I HOPE IT'S
NOT TOO WARM IN HERE FOR YOU.

- IT IS KIND OF HUMID, ISN'T IT?
- I KNOW, BUT THEY LIKE IT
THAT WAY.

THEY NEED THE WARMTH, MAR.

YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
JUST LIKE PEOPLE.

LITTLE GREEN PEOPLE.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M EMBARRASSED TO
GET UNDRESSED IN FRONT OF THIS CHARACTER.

STOP THAT.

- HEY, RHODA, YOU'RE NOT
GETTING WEIRD, ARE YOU?
- WHAT?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, LIKE LITTLE
OLD LADIES WITH HUNDREDS OF CATS.

OH, DON'T BE SILLY.

THOUGH LAST NIGHT, MAR,
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS,

BUT I THINK I EXPERIENCED
PHOTOSYNTHESIS.

NOW THAT I GOT YOU IN A
GOOD MOOD, SIT DOWN. OKAY.

OOH! OH.

- MAR, OH, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THIS IS HARD.
- WHAT'S HARD?

- ASKING FOR MONEY.
- YOU BORROW MONEY
FROM ME ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S JUST FIVES,
TENS, YOU KNOW, LITTLE STUFF.

THIS IS SOMETHING BIG. BIG?

MARY, IT ALL STARTED WHEN I DID THAT
GARDEN WINDOW DOWN AT HEMPEL'S.

OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER. I SAW
THAT. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU.

ANYWAY, SINCE THEN, A LOT OF PEOPLE AT
THE STORE... INCLUDING MRS. HEMPEL HERSELF,

WHOSE TASTE IS SO GOOD, SHE
DOESN'T EVEN SHOP AT HER OWN STORE...

THEY'VE ORDERED PLANTS
AND PLANTERS AND...

WELL, JUST LOOK FOR
YOURSELF. I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH IT.

YOU SEEM TO BE DOING OKAY.
OH, MARY, BUT IT'S SHOWDOWN TIME.

SOMETHING'S GOTTA
GO... ME OR THE PLANTS.

WELL, LISTEN, CAN'T YOU FIND SOME
KIND OF A PLACE FOR THEM? I DID.

AN EMPTY STORE. BUT THEN
I GOT TO THINKING, MARY.

AS LONG AS I GOT THE STORE, WHY
DON'T I MAKE IT INTO A PLANT BOUTIQUE?

YOU KNOW, WITH A NAME LIKE
RHODA'S-DENDRON. NO, HUH? THAT'S...

NO, RHODA, I THINK THAT'S A
SENSATIONAL IDEA. YOU DO?

I REALLY DO. OH, MARY, WELL, SEE
THE THING IS I NEED RENT MONEY.

YEAH. AND I NEED TO STOCK
MORE PLANTS AND FIX IT UP.

RHODA, I WILL LEND YOU
THE MONEY. OH, MARY.

WHAT A FRIEND. YOU DON'T
EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I NEED.

THANKS. WELL, HOW
MUCH DO YOU NEED?

$995.995.

YEAH. HOW COME NOT A THOUSAND?

WELL, 995 SOUNDS LIKE SO
MUCH LESS THAN A THOUSAND.

HUH. I'LL GET THE FIVE
FROM SOMEBODY ELSE.

OKAY. OH, GREAT.

AND LISTEN, KID, I'M NOT EVEN
GONNA FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THIS LOAN,

'CAUSE I KNOW I CAN GET IT BACK
TO YOU IN A HURRY. OH, DON'T WORRY.

REALLY, IN THREE
WEEKS, ABSOLUTELY. OKAY.

I MEAN, FOUR WEEKS THE
OUTSIDE, AND THIS I PROMISE YOU.

OH. FIVE WEEKS MAXIMUM.

[Knocking] COME ON IN,
GEORGETTE. IT'S OPEN.

HI, MARY. RHODA. HI, GEORGETTE.

OH, RHODA!

THESE PLANTS ARE
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF PUTTING
YOUR GOD-GIVEN TALENT TO USE?

GEORGETTE... YOU
COULD MAKE A BUNDLE.

YOU REALLY SHOULD GO
INTO BUSINESS FOR YOURSELF.

GEORGETTE, IT'S OKAY. THAT WAS GREAT,
BUT MARY ALREADY LOANED ME THE MONEY.

YEAH, SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE MY CLINCHER. UH-HUH.

THANKS, GEORGETTE.

RHODA SAYS I CAN WORK IN THE PLANT SHOP
WITH HER IF SHE CAN GET A THOUSAND DOLLARS.

- DID YOU GET IT?
- CAN YOU LOAN ME FIVE?

- SURE.
- I GOT IT.

WE'RE IN BUSINESS, GEORGETTE.

OH, MORNING, MAR. MURRAY, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE SO EARLY?

OH, I HAD SOME STUFF TO
CATCH UP ON. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

OH, WELL, I WOKE UP EARLY, AND I
DIDN'T FEEL LIKE HAVING ANY BREAKFAST,

SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST COME IN AND HAVE A
CUP OF HOT COFFEE AND A BREAKFAST ROLL.

AND JUST, YOU KNOW,
RELAX AND READ THE PAPER.

OH, IT'S A NICE THOUGHT.
[Sniffs] WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD?

MY SWEET ROLL. STILL
WARM TOO. MARY?

MR. GRANT, YOU'RE HERE TOO?

MARY, I'VE GOT A 9:00
PROGRAMMING MEETING UPSTAIRS,

AND I CAN'T MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OUT
OF THESE NOTES YOU TOOK ON FRIDAY.

UNTANGLE THEM FOR ME. THEN
GET OUT THE RATINGS BOOK...

AND FIGURE OUT WHAT OUR AVERAGE
RATING WAS FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS.

CAN I HAVE A BITE OF THAT?

SURE. THANK YOU.

MMM! BOY, IS THAT GOOD.

WERE YOU GONNA...
NO, GO AHEAD, TAKE IT.

I DIDN'T WANT IT ANYWAY.

NO, I HAD A BIG BREAKFAST.
GO AHEAD. TAKE IT.

YOU SURE? TAKE IT.

OH, THANKS. YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

[Ringing]

NEWSROOM. OH, HI, RHODA.

NO, NO, I DIDN'T FORGET. I'M
GOING OVER TO THE BANK AT NOON.

LISTEN, DO YOU WANT IT IN CASH,
OR IS MY PERSONAL CHECK OKAY?

YOU WANT A CERTIFIED CHECK.

OKAY. YEAH, FINE. YOU CAN
PICK IT UP ANYTIME DURING LUNCH.

RIGHT. BYE-BYE.

- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, MARY.
- FAULT? WHAT'S MY FAULT?

TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WANDERING LOOSE AT THIS HOUR?

A MAN PRACTICALLY YANKED
ME OUT OF MY BED THIS MORNING.

MADE ME GIVE MY
FREE RENTAL CAR BACK.

- YOUR RENTAL CAR?
- IT'S THE ONE THAT GEORGETTE
LETS ME USE.

LAST NIGHT SHE GAVE UP HER RENT-A-CAR
JOB, TO GO TO WORK FOR YOUR FRIEND RHODA.

AH, NOW I UNDERSTAND.
[Phone Ringing]

NEWSROOM. YEAH, RHODA.

NO, I DIDN'T FORGET. I JUST
TALKED TO YOU A FEW MINUTES AGO.

OH, UH, HOW MUCH MORE?

$300?

WELL, LET'S SEE. THAT
WOULD BRING IT TO 1,295...

NO, NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.

NO, REALLY, IT'LL
BE FINE. OKAY, BYE.

WELL, IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO SAY NO. SAY, MARY...

NO.

MISS RICHARDS. HOW
NICE TO MEET YOU. YES.

THANK YOU, MISS ADAMS. OH,
PLEASE, CALL ME ANNE AND HAVE A SEAT.

OH, THANK YOU, ANNE. DO
YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU MARY?

UH, NO, NO, PLEASE
GO AHEAD. OH, GOOD.

YOU KNOW, MARY, I ALWAYS HAD
THIS IMAGE OF BANK OFFICERS...

AS A BUNCH OF CIGAR-SMOKING,
STUFFY, CONSERVATIVE OLD MEN.

AND I SWORE IF I EVER BECAME
ONE, I'D TRY TO DISPEL THAT IMAGE.

OH, WELL, YOU CERTAINLY DON'T
LOOK LIKE A STUFFY OLD MAN TO ME.

OF COURSE, AFTER DINNER, I
DO LIKE A GOOD CIGAR, BUT...

NOW, MARY, UH,
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

YES, WELL, I HAVE SOME
MONEY IN A SAVINGS

ACCOUNT HERE, AND I
WOULD LIKE TO WITHDRAW IT,

BUT THE TELLER TOLD ME
THAT I HAD TO SEE YOU. MM-HMM.

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DO HAVE TO SEE ME.

YOU SEE, MARY, THE VERY
NATURE OF A TIME DEPOSIT...

IS THAT YOU AGREED TO KEEP THE
MONEY IN THERE FOR A SPECIFIED TIME.

AND, UM, THE TIME
ISN'T UP YET, IS IT, MARY?

UH, WELL, NO,
ANNE, I REALIZE THAT.

BUT YOU SEE, SOMETHING CAME
UP, AND I WANT THE MONEY NOW.

WELL, IT'S JUST NOT
QUITE THAT SIMPLE, MARY.

YOU SEE, ON THIS TYPE OF ACCOUNT,
THERE ARE ONLY TWO CONDITIONS...

WHERE WITHDRAWAL IS ALLOWED
BEFORE MATURITY DATE. YES.

- THERE'S POVERTY.
- POVERTY?

POVERTY? NO.

OH, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

OR, UH, AN EMERGENCY. UH, HOW
ABOUT AN EMERGENCY SITUATION?

IS THIS AN EMERGENCY SITUATION?

- YES.
- GOOD. WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY?

- I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU.
- OH, NO, YOU HAVE TO
TELL ME, MARY.

IF YOU WANT THE MONEY, YOU HAVE
TO TELL ME. YES, BUT IT'S MY MONEY.

NO, NOT RIGHT NOW IT
ISN'T, MARY. IT'S OUR MONEY.

NOW JUST WAIT A MINUTE. MARY...

PLEASE, NO. LOOK, I AM STANDING
HERE FIGHTING TO GET MY MONEY...

OUT OF YOUR BANK, AND YOU
ARE TELLING ME THAT I CAN'T.

MARY, PLEASE, JUST SIT DOWN...

AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND. WELL?

JUST SIT DOWN AND
TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

OH, MARY. MARY.

WHEN YOU OPENED YOUR RAINY
DAY TIME-DEPOSIT ACCOUNT,

YOU MADE A PROMISE TO US.

THAT'S JUST LIKE YOU'D
MAKE A PROMISE TO A FRIEND.

RIGHT, EXACTLY. I PROMISED
MY MONEY TO A FRIEND.

YES, BUT WE HAVE YOU
PROMISED TO US IN WRITING.

PLEASE GIVE ME MY MONEY.

MARY, I MEAN, I'D LIKE TO.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE ONE
OF THESE ACCOUNTS TOO.

AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO
GET MY MONEY OUT, I COULDN'T.

OKAY, I COULD, BUT YOU KNOW,
EVERYBODY HERE LIKES ME.

I MEAN, THEY HARDLY KNOW YOU.

MARY, MARY, THIS IS NOT
MY FAULT. MARY, PLEASE.

MARY, PLEASE. DON'T
TURN AWAY. MARY?

MARY, MARY, PLEASE, MARY.

MARY, I JUST THOUGHT OF A WAY WE
CAN GET YOU THE MONEY YOU NEED.

- YOU DID?
- YES, I DID.

OH, LISTEN, ANNE, THANK
YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. I'M SORRY
THINGS GOT A LITTLE CRAZY THERE.

WELL, YOU GOT A
LITTLE UPSET, THAT'S ALL.

- DO YOU THINK I CAN HAVE
THE MONEY NOW?
- YES, I DO.

JUST AS SOON AS YOU FILL
OUT THIS LOAN APPLICATION.

LOAN?

DON'T BE GRUMPY, MARY.
BANKS HAVE TO EAT TOO.

YOU WANNA GRAB
A FAST LUNCH, MAR?

OH, THANKS, MURRAY, BUT I CAN'T.

RHODA BORROWED MY
CAR TO PICK UP SOME

PLANTS, AND SHE'S
BRINGING IT BACK AT LUNCH.

OH. HOW'S THAT
BUSINESS OF HERS GOING?

WELL, SHE SAYS
IT'S JUST BOOMING.

SHE'S TAKEN GEORGETTE
ON FULL TIME NOW.

DID SHE PAY YOU
BACK YET? UH, WELL, NO.

OH. IT'S BEEN ABOUT
A MONTH, HASN'T IT?

NO, IT HASN'T BEEN A MONTH. OH, I
THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT A MONTH.

NO, IT HASN'T BEEN A MONTH.
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

SIX AND A HALF WEEKS.

OH.

NOW LOOK, MAR, YOU KNOW THOSE
SMALL BUSINESSES, THEY'RE TRICKY.

SOMETIMES IT JUST LOOKS
LIKE YOU'RE MAKING A PROFIT.

- OH, RIGHT. I'M SURE
IT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
- YEAH.

BUT WOULDN'T YOU THINK SHE'D
AT LEAST HAVE MENTIONED IT? AH.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

$1,295.

♪♪ [Humming]

WHAT ARE YOU SO
HAPPY ABOUT, TED?

RHODA JUST GAVE
GEORGETTE A BIG RAISE.

OH, REALLY?

SHE'S SO CUTE.

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO? SHE
WANTS TO COME AND TAKE ME TO LUNCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M
JUST GONNA LET HER.

GEE, WHAT A SURPRISE.

WELL, IT'S WHAT THE WOMEN'S
MOVEMENT'S ALL ABOUT, ISN'T IT?

OH, HI, GEORGETTE. HI.

THIS FOR ME? IT'S FOR MR. GRANT.
HE'S ALWAYS SO NICE TO ME.

OF COURSE HE'S NICE TO YOU. THAT'S
BECAUSE YOU GO OUT WITH HIS ANCHORMAN.

IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU
HAVE TO BUY HIM ANYTHING.

COME IN.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
THE PLANT LADY'S HERE.

OH, HI, GEORGETTE. HOW ARE YA?

FINE. THANK YOU. I
BROUGHT YOU THIS PLANT.

OH, WELL, THANK YOU.

IT'S CALLED A PRAYER
PLANT. MM-HMM.

BUT DON'T WORRY, IT'S
NONDENOMINATIONAL.

I'LL TRY NOT TO
SWEAR IN FRONT OF IT.

NOW WHERE SHALL WE PUT IT?

HOW ABOUT ON MARY'S DESK, HUH?

OH, NO, IT'S ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.

OH.

UH, LOOK, GEORGETTE,

I'M NOT TOO GOOD
WITH PLANTS. WHY?

WELL, YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS A KID,

I HAD A PLANT.

I LOVED THAT PLANT.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I GOT IT.

I JUST SAW IT AND I
KNEW I HAD TO HAVE IT.

I SPENT A WHOLE
MONTH'S ALLOWANCE ON IT.

THEN ONE DAY IT DIED ON ME.

JUST DIED ON ME.

WILTING LEAVES,
DROPPING DEAD ON ME.

I'M NOT GONNA GO
THROUGH THAT AGAIN.

HOW ABOUT A BOX OF CANDY?

THAT'D BE NICE.

OKAY. I'LL BRING IT
BY TOMORROW. HMM.

OH, GEORGETTE, I'M READY TO
HAVE YOU TAKE ME TO LUNCH.

GIVE ME THE MONEY IN THE CAR,

'CAUSE IT'LL LOOK FUNNY
IF THEY SEE YOU PAY.

OH, HI, GEORGETTE. HI, MARY.

HERE, IT'S FROM RHODA AND ME. IF
YOU WANT PLANT PELLETS, JUST WHISTLE.

OKAY.

HELLO, MARY. WELL, WELL.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN
SHOPPING. OH, HAVE I.

YOU KNOW, MARY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT
WAS A BIG WASTE TO SPEND A LOT ON CLOTHES.

BUT NOW THAT I'M IN THE MONEY,
HUH, IT'S KINDA FUN. I GOT TO ADMIT.

OH. IS IT? YEAH.

UH-HUH. YOU KNOW WHAT I DID
TODAY? FULFILLED A LIFELONG DREAM.

I WALKED INTO A CHIC DRESS SHOP,

PICKED OUT MY FAVORITE
DRESS IN THE PLACE,

AND I BOUGHT IT WITHOUT
EVEN LOOKING AT THE PRICE.

WOW. HOW MUCH WAS IT?

9.99. WHICH GOES TO SHOW
YOU HOW CRUMMY MY TASTE IS.

HERE'S YOUR CAR
KEYS. OH, THANK YOU.

I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, MAR,
BUT YOUR CAR IS RUNNING TERRIBLE.

THAT'S FUNNY. IT WAS
RUNNING FINE YESTERDAY.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T
LET ME DRIVE IT. IT PROBABLY

THOUGHT IT WAS MINE
AND STARTED ACTING UP.

I WONDER IF I HAVE TIME TO RUN IT INTO
THE SHOP AND HAVE THEM TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

I WOULD MAKE THE TIME IF I WERE YOU.
REALLY. I MEAN, TAKE IT FROM AN EXPERT.

WHEN THESE OLD CARS
START TO GO, YOU HAVE TO

SLING A NET UNDER
THEM TO CATCH THE PARTS.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY
SORT OF TYPICAL, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, IF THIS HAD HAPPENED
SIX AND A HALF WEEKS AGO,

YOU KNOW, I PROBABLY WOULD
HAVE BOUGHT THAT NEW CAR.

AND NOW THAT I DON'T
HAVE THE MONEY...

YEAH, WELL, IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE
MONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

THANKS, MAR. [Sighs]

HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'LL
TAKE TO FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG?

I'VE GOT THE BOYS
LOOKING AT IT NOW.

SOMEHOW WE ALL FEEL
LIKE WE'VE LET YOU DOWN.

OH, NO, NO, PLEASE, DON'T
FEEL THAT WAY. WELL...

COME ON. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I'D BETTER TAKE A LOOK MYSELF.

COME ON, YOU GUYS, QUIT
HANGING AROUND. COME ON!

HEY, LOOK, SOMEBODY
TOOK YOUR CAR.

OH, YEAH.

IT'S THE SAME MODEL. IT'S
JUST A DIFFERENT COLOR.

YEAH. BOY, WHAT A
GREAT SET OF WHEELS.

THIS ONE'S A LITTLE MORE
EXPENSIVE. 'CAUSE IT'S A DELUXE.

YEAH? HOW DO YOU KNOW? WELL, IF IT
COSTS MORE, IT MUST BE THE DELUXE.

BOY, DO I LOVE THIS
CAR. BUT I HATE YELLOW.

HATE YELLOW? OH, MY LORD. OH!

WHAT ARE YOU, A BIG
YELLOW FAN? MARY,

YOU KNOW THE MONEY
I OWE YOU? YEAH?

WELL, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SORT OF
BORING, DULL, TO GIVE YOU BACK THE MONEY.

SO, KNOWING YOU
WANTED A NEW CAR,

I TOOK THAT MONEY, ADDED TO IT A
LITTLE, YOU KNOW, EXTRA FOR INTEREST,

AND PUT A DOWN PAYMENT
ON THIS YELLOW CAR.

YES, MARY, YES.

THE CAR YOU LOVE IN THE
COLOR YOU HATE IS YOURS.

- WHAT?
- YEAH, YOURS.

GET INSIDE. IT DOESN'T LOOK
SO YELLOW FROM IN THERE.

AAH! WAIT, WAIT, I
DIDN'T SEE MARY'S FACE.

- MARY, LET ME SEE YOUR FACE.
- [Groans]

WAS THAT THE LOOK SHE HAD
ON HER FACE? YEP, STILL THERE.

- YES.
- WELL, GET IN, MAR.

COME ON, GEORGETTE.
LET'S ALL GET IN.

WE'LL DO A FEW LAPS
AROUND THE SHOWROOM.

YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS
PUSHY OF ME? IT WAS, YEAH.

TO GO AND GET SOMETHING SO BIG
WITHOUT ASKING YOU FIRST? IT WAS PUSHY.

THAT'S ONE OF THE
REASONS I LIKED DOING IT.

NO, NO. YOU REALLY
HATE YELLOW, HUH?

WELL... YELLOW.

I SHOULD HAVE REMEMBERED HOW
INDIFFERENT YOU WERE TO THAT CANARY I HAD.

RHODA, IT'S OKAY.

OH, THE ONE GREAT THING I DO FOR
SOMEONE IN MY LIFE AND, UH, I LOUSE IT UP.

HEY, WILL YOU STOP CARRYING ON?
I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC WHAT YOU DID.

I EVEN GOT THEM TO THROW IN AN
AIR CONDITIONER AND A TAPE DECK.

MARY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE
FANTASTIC DEAL I GOT YOU ON THIS CAR.

I LOVE YELLOW.

YELLOW'S A LOVELY COLOR, MARY.

IT'S THE COLOR OF THE SUN
AND WHEAT FIELDS. YEAH.

TICONDEROGA PENCILS. RIGHT.

AND DAFFODILS AND LEMONS.

OOPS, I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID THAT.

ANYWAY, THE WHOLE THING WAS A TRICK
JUST SO RHODA COULD GET ME DOWN THERE...

- TO SEE MY NEW CAR.
- TERRIFIC. WHAT COLOR WAS IT?

SORT OF GOLDEN. MISS RICHARDS?

YES. OH, HI. HI.

I BROUGHT YOUR CAR. IT'S DOWN IN
THE PARKING LOT, AND THERE'S THE KEYS.

OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GEE, I
CAN HARDLY WAIT TO GET OFF WORK.

OH, UH, WHAT ARE YOU,
A SECRETARY HERE?

OH, NO, I'M AN
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.

HMM. WELL, I GUESS I CAN'T GO OUT WITH
YOU THEN, 'CAUSE I'M JUST A MECHANIC.

HEY, KID, COME HERE.

HI. MY SON-IN-LAW'S A MECHANIC.

NOW I JUST MET YOU, SO I DON'T
WANNA GET TOO HOT WITH YOU.

BUT IF MY DAUGHTER
ISN'T TOO GOOD FOR A

MECHANIC, THEN SHE ISN'T
TOO GOOD FOR A MECHANIC.

OH, BUT... I DON'T
WANNA ARGUE ABOUT IT.

YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T
MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.

I MEAN, HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE ASSOCIATE
PRODUCERS GOING OUT WITH MECHANICS?

HEY, YOUNG MAN. YEAH?

I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING
WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

LET ME JUST POINT OUT
TO YOU THAT IN THIS GREAT

LAND OF OURS, IT DOESN'T
MATTER WHAT YOU ARE.

IT'S WHO YOU ARE.

BLUE-COLLAR, WHITE-COLLAR,

COLLARS OF ALL COLORS
CAN MINGLE TOGETHER.

FROM THE LOWEST MECHANIC, TO THE
MOST EXALTED TELEVISION ANCHORMAN,

WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM.

THAT WAS VERY STIRRING, TED.

I ALMOST FELT LIKE HUMMING
"BATTLE HYMN OF THE JERK."

[Mews]