Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 3, Episode 14 - Rhoda Morgenstern: Minneapolis to New York - full transcript

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

HI. I GAVE YOUR
REGARDS TO BROADWAY.

RHODA, YOU'RE BACK.



I TRIED TO REMEMBER
YOU TO HERALD SQUARE,

BUT A COP TOLD ME TO MOVE ALONG.

YEAH, RIGHT. HEY, COME ON
IN AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

OH, MARY, NEW YORK
WAS JUST FANTASTIC.

YEAH? OH, YEAH. IT'S
ABSOLUTELY ENDLESS.

THE PHILHARMONIC WAS IN TOWN.

THEY WERE DOING LA
TRAVIATA AT THE MET. AH.

AND IMAGINE SEEING EDWARD VILELLA
DANCE WITH THE NEW YORK CITY BALLET.

- OH, WOW. YOU DID ALL THAT?
- OF COURSE NOT.

BUT YOU KNOW IT'S THERE, RIGHT?

MARY, DON'T YOU SEE?

HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS WHEN
NOBODY ASKS ME OUT, IT'S NOTHING BIG.

BUT THERE WHEN NOBODY ASKS ME OUT, I'M
NOT BEING ASKED OUT TO A BROADWAY OPENING.

UH-HUH. AND NOT GOING
TO SARDI'S AFTERWARDS?



- RIGHT. I KNEW
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
- UH-HUH.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME
COFFEE? YEAH, I WOULD, KID.

- HOW ARE YOUR FOLKS?
- OH, THEY'RE GOOD.

PRETTY MUCH THE SAME OLD THING.

MOSTLY WE SAT AROUND THE
KITCHEN TABLE TALKING OVER OLD TIMES.

WHY RHODA NEVER MARRIED.

WHY RHODA MAY NEVER GET MARRIED.

ROBERT REDFORD. THAT
WAS MY TOPIC. UH-HUH.

BUT GENERALLY, UH,
EVERYTHING WAS GOOD?

MMM. JUST TERRIFIC. TERRIFIC.

OH, MARY, YOU KNOW THAT STORE
BLOOMINGDALE'S? YEAH, SURE.

WELL, I WAS IN THERE,
AND, UH, GUESS WHAT.

WHAT? THEY OFFERED ME A
JOB AS A WINDOW DRESSER.

OH, HEY, RHODA, BEING ABLE TO
TURN SOMETHING LIKE THAT DOWN...

MUST BE SO GREAT FOR YOUR EGO.

I MEAN, ISN'T BLOOMINGDALE'S
SORT OF IT FOR WINDOW DRESSERS?

OH, YEAH, MARY, IT
REALLY IS, BIG TIME.

- OHH.
- SEE, UH, I DIDN'T
TURN IT DOWN.

- WHAT?
- I KNOW, MAR.

THE IDEA OF YOU BEING HERE AND
ME BEING THERE ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME.

I'M GONNA MISS
YOU LIKE CRAZY, KID.

BUT NEW YORK CITY
REALLY TURNED ME ON.

I MISS IT. AND, I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S SUCH A GREAT JOB OFFER.

WELL, YEAH, RHODA, I CAN
UNDERSTAND ALL THAT, BUT...

MARY, I SAID YES ON AN
IMPULSE, BUT IT SEEMS RIGHT.

AHA! YOU SAID YES ON AN IMPULSE.

YEAH, BUT STILL... WELL,
THAT'S ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.

- RHODA, I KNOW YOU AND YOUR
SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT DECISIONS.
- OH, NO.

LOOK, WE WILL TALK
ABOUT IT QUIETLY, CALMLY,

AND EVENTUALLY YOU WILL DECIDE
WHAT'S RIGHT, AND YOU'LL STAY RIGHT HERE.

I START NEXT MONDAY.

NEXT MONDAY? YEAH.

SO, UH, MARY, DO YOU
HAVE ANY CARTONS?

CARTONS? YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING...

RHODA, COME ON. I KNOW
YOU. YOU'RE NOT GOING.

YES, I AM. NOT A CHANCE.

COME ON. THIS IS RHODA MORGENSTERN,
THE SAME RHODA MORGENSTERN...

WHO ONCE SWORE SHE WAS GONNA LOSE
WEIGHT BY WALKING ACROSS THE UNITED STATES.

MARY, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.
THIS TIME I'M REALLY GOING.

AND I'M NOT WALKING. I'M FLYING.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. NOW THAT
WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING,

DO I HAVE ANY CARTONS?

UH-HUH. YEAH. I WILL NEED A GREAT
DEAL OF THEM FOR PACKING AND SUCH.

RIGHT. YES, RHODA,
I HAVE A CARTON.

AND EVERY TIME I GO TO THE MARKET,
I WILL BRING HOME MORE CARTONS,

AND SOON YOU WILL HAVE DOZENS AND DOZENS
OF CARTONS STACKED UP IN YOUR APARTMENT...

ALL READY AND WAITING FOR
WHEN YOU DON'T MOVE TO NEW YORK.

WELL, THIS'LL HOLD A WIGLET.

I'M GONNA GO
UPSTAIRS AND UNPACK.

SO I CAN START PACKING.

SEE YA LATER, KID.

SHE'S NOT GOING.

HEY, KID, I GAVE NOTICE THIS
MORNING TO PHYLLIS ON THE APARTMENT.

OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC,
RHODA. THAT'S JUST...

YOU JUST KEEP RIGHT ON
DOING THINGS LIKE THAT...

GIVING NOTICE, PACKING CARTONS.

IT'S JUST GONNA MAKE IT
MORE EMBARRASSING FOR YOU...

WHEN YOU DON'T GO TO NEW
YORK, AND YOU HAVE TO UNDO IT ALL.

HEY, LOOK, MARY. A WHOLE, NICE, EMPTY
BOOKLET WITH ABSOLUTELY BLANK PAGES.

- CAN YOU USE THIS?
- WHAT IS IT?

MY DATE BOOK.

HEY, MAR, OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
CAN YOU DO A FAVOR FOR ME?

YEAH. WHAT?

COULD I LEAVE MY
GOLDFISH WITH YOU?

- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD A GOLDFISH.
- YEAH. I NAMED HER GOLDFISH.

SEEMED TO FIT. YEAH, I'VE HAD
HER A COUPLE OF DAYS NOW.

I WENT OUT TO GET
LITTLE BESS A PRESENT,

AND I WENT BY THIS PET STORE,

AND THERE WAS THIS ADORABLE
GOLDFISH WITH THE CUTEST LITTLE GILLS,

LOOKING UP AT ME WITH THOSE
BIG, LIMPID EYES THAT SEEMED TO SAY,

"TAKE ME HOME. TAKE ME HOME."

WHAT COULD I DO, MAR? WELL, I
THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GIVE IT TO BESS.

YEAH, I THOUGHT SO TOO, BUT
PHYLLIS STARTED CARRYING ON...

ABOUT HOW SHE ONLY HAS
RARE, TROPICAL FISH IN HER TANK...

AND WOULD NOT ALLOW
A MONGREL FISH IN THERE.

OH, PHYLLIS AND HER FISH.

BUT YOU KNOW, MAR,
IT'S JUST AS WELL.

I GUESS I ALWAYS WANTED A PET.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO
GET A POODLE OR ANYTHING.

YOU KNOW HOW DUMB
PEOPLE ARE WITH POODLES.

THEY TALK TO THEM LIKE
THEY'RE PEOPLE. YEAH.

DON'T THEY DO THAT,
MAMA'S LITTLE FISH?

SAY HELLO TO AUNTIE
MARY, GOLDFISH.

COME ON. SEE THOSE
BUBBLES, MARY?

THAT'S "HI, AUNTIE
MARY" IN GOLDFISH.

COME ON AND SAY HELLO
TO GOLDFISH, AUNTIE MARY.

NO.

SHE'S JUST SHY.

SO, MARY, WILL YOU DO IT?

WILL YOU TAKE CARE
OF MY DARLING GOLDFISH,

OR DO I HAVE TO FLUSH
HER DOWN THE TOILET?

I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

YOU'LL BE AMAZED WHAT
GOOD COMPANY SHE IS.

SHE'S FAIRLY QUIET, NOT A FUSSY
EATER AND GENERALLY AMUSES HERSELF.

I HAVE NO IDEA.

HI THERE. BARRY BARLOW. HI.

HI THERE.

HI... THERE.

I'M JUST KIND OF LOOKING
AROUND FOR A NEW BACHELOR PAD,

AND MRS. LINDSTROM SENT
ME UP TO LOOK AT THIS ONE.

YOU CHICKS, UH, ROOMMATES?

UH, NO, NO. THIS
IS HER... PAD THING.

- WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
- OH, WELL, I LIVE ELSEWHERE.

FAR OUT.

HEY, THIS PAD IS
REALLY SOMETHING.

I THINK I COULD REALLY
GET IT TOGETHER HERE.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

MRS. LINDSTROM... SHE'S
NOT GONNA GIVE ME A

HARD TIME ABOUT
ENTERTAINING CHICKS, IS SHE?

- UH, WELL, SHE...
- LAST PLACE I LIVED, I WAS GOING OUT...

WITH THREE DIFFERENT
CHICKS ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

AIRLINE STEWARDESSES ON
DIFFERENT SHIFTS. IF YOU CAN DIG THAT.

SURE. SURE.

BARRY, THIS IS FASCINATING, BUT I
HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF PACKING TO DO.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND...
GO RIGHT AHEAD AND PACK.

YEAH, THIS PLACE IS REALLY OKAY.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ONLY FIVE
MINUTES FROM THE STORE.

I'M IN SHOES. DISCOUNT SHOES.

OF COURSE, FOR NEW NEIGHBORS, I
CAN ALWAYS DISCOUNT THE DISCOUNT.

OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE
OF YOU, BUT I DON'T THINK...

NAME OF THE GAME. I CAN PUT
YOU INTO A PAIR OF ITALIAN BOOTS,

NEW SLIM HEEL, FOR, SAY, $11.99.

HUH. WHAT ARE YOU, ABOUT A 7A?

"B." RIGHT.

ANYWAY, AFTER I MOVE IN, WE CAN
TALK ABOUT IT OVER A LITTLE "MARTOONI."

GEE, BARRY, I,
UH... I REALLY, UH...

I-I-I DON'T, UH, THINK S-S-SO.

WHY NOT? WELL, BECAUSE I'M...

YOU'RE WHAT? GETTING
MARRIED TOMORROW.

AH. TOMORROW. AND
I'M REALLY SO BUSY.

LOTS TO DO. OH, RIGHT.

YEAH, WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF
TIN CANS TO TIE TO HER BUMPER.

- RIGHT.
- WELL, LET ME KNOW IF THE OLD
WEDDING FALLS THROUGH.

WILL DO. CIAO.

AH, RHODA! YOU SEE
WHAT YOU'D LEAVE ME TO...

MR. "HI THERE. BARRY BARLOW."

I KNOW, KID. I KNOW. WELL, I'M
FINALLY STARTING TO MAKE A DENT IN IT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I HAVE TO
GET SOME CARTONS FROM THE HALL.

I'VE GOTTA START SHIPPING
EVERYTHING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW.

OH, RHODA! HEY, WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP
SAYING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO NEW YORK,

JUST AS A FAVOR TO ME.

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOING.
YOU'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE.

ISN'T SHE, GOLDFISH?

NOD TWICE FOR "YES."

BOTH SIDES CAME
TO AN AGREEMENT...

AFTER 36 HOURS OF STEADY,
ACROSS-THE-TABLE BARGAINING.

AFTERWARDS, NEGOTIATORS
SAID THAT THE NEW

CONTRACT WOULD BE LIKE
A "BREASH" OF "FRETH" AIR.

THAT'S LIKE A
BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

I CAN'T TAKE MUCH
MORE OF THIS, MARY.

WELL, YOU'D BETTER BEAR UP.
THERE'S SIX MORE MINUTES TO GO.

AND SO IT APPEARS THE
STRIKE WILL BE AVERTED.

THAT'S ALL THE NEWS. THIS IS TED
BAXTER SAYING GOOD NEWS, GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT? WHAT! THERE
ARE SIX MORE MINUTES!

THE CLOCKS ARE ALL
LOUSED UP, RIGHT? NO!

WE HAD TO GET OFF FOR AN EDITORIAL,
RIGHT? MR. GRANT, HE JUST STOPPED.

HI, GUYS.

SAY, ANYBODY KNOW HOW
MANY CALORIES IN LASAGNA?

TED, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? GET BACK IN THERE!

IT'S TOO LATE, LOU. THEY JUST
BROUGHT ON A PUBLIC SERVICE STATION.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
EVERYBODY'S SO UPSET ABOUT.

TED, YOU STOPPED
SIX MINUTES EARLY.

YOU SEE, TED, USUALLY WHEN WE
GIVE SOMEBODY 30 MINUTES OF AIRTIME,

WE ASSUME THAT THEY'LL
USE THE ENTIRE 30 MINUTES.

IT'S JUST THIS
TRADITION WE HAVE.

THAT'S WHAT ALL THAT COMMOTION
WAS ABOUT WHEN I LEFT THE STUDIO.

I WAS WONDERING.

PEOPLE WAVING THEIR ARMS
AT ME. PEOPLE CALLING MY NAME.

I JUST THOUGHT
THEY LIKED THE SHOW.

I'M SORRY, LOU.

IT WAS STUPID OF ME TO
MAKE A MISTAKE LIKE THAT.

ME OF ALL PEOPLE.

OF ALL PEOPLE? YOU OF NO PEOPLE.

SAY, MAR, DOES LOU
SEEM UPSET TO YOU?

TED, YOU CAN'T JUST
STOP SIX MINUTES EARLY.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. TOMORROW
I'LL GO SIX MINUTES LONGER.

HI, GROUP. HI, RHODA.

HI, RHODA. OH, GOSH. I'M A
LITTLE EARLY, AREN'T I, MAR?

- NO, THAT'S OKAY.
- HEY, MURR,

THE KID'S TAKING ME TO A
FAREWELL DINNER TONIGHT.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. TOMORROW'S
THE BIG DAY. THE BIG MOVE, HUH?

- SHE'S NOT GOING.
- MARY! YEAH, MURR, TOMORROW.

WELL, RHODA, IN HONOR OF THE OCCASION,
HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING I GOT YOU.

OH, MURRAY, THIS
IS SO SWEET OF YOU.

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. MARY TOLD ME
YOU HAD TO GIVE UP YOUR PET, SO...

OH, HOW DARLING! A
LITTLE ENAMEL GOLDFISH.

OH, IT'S ADORABLE. IT
LOOKS JUST LIKE GOLDFISH.

IT ISN'T A DEATH MASK
OR ANYTHING, IS IT?

I JUST LOVE IT, MURRAY. REALLY
THOUGHTFUL. THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

IT'S FROM BOTH OF US. WHAT?

UH, THANKS.

OKAY, SPORT, THAT LITTLE REMARK'S
GONNA COST YOU FOUR BUCKS.

WHAT? FOUR BUCKS FOR
THAT CHEAP LITTLE THING?

HIYA. LOOK. LOOK WHAT
I GOT FROM MURRAY...

AND, UH, SORT OF TED.

FOR MY GOING-AWAY.

UH, RIGHT. YEAH, LOU.

UH-HUH. SO, YOU'RE
LEAVING MINNEAPOLIS?

YEAH, RIGHT. TOMORROW.

WHERE IS IT YOU'RE GOING?
OH, I'M GOING TO NEW YORK.

OH. I GUESS YOUR PARENTS
WILL BE SORRY TO SEE YOU GO.

NO, LOU. MY PARENTS
LIVE IN NEW YORK.

I GUESS YOUR PARENTS WILL
BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU COME.

UH, I'LL GO IN ON THAT
CERAMIC THING SHE'S GOT ON.

OH, NO, LOU. YOU
DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

NO, I WANT TO. MURRAY, THAT
BIRD THING OR WHATEVER IT IS.

HOW MUCH DOES THAT
COME TO? UH, WELL, LET'S SEE.

EIGHT DOLLARS SPLIT
THREE WAYS IS, UH...

NO, WAIT A MINUTE. IF IT'S
SPLIT TWO WAYS, IT'S FOUR.

IF IT'S SPLIT FOUR
WAYS, IT'S TWO. YEAH.

SO IF IT'S SPLIT THREE
WAYS... LOOK, SPLIT

IT FOUR WAYS. IT'S
SIMPLER. I'LL GO IN ON IT.

YOU CAN'T GO IN ON IT. YOU'RE
THE ONE THAT'S GOING AWAY.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY, YOU REALLY ARE, AREN'T
YOU? YOU'RE GOING AWAY.

YEAH.

WELL, IF RHODA'S NOT
GONNA CHIP IN, NEITHER AM I.

HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME MORE WINE?

YEAH, SURE.

GOOD.

UH, I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD HAVE
ANY MORE OF THIS STUFF. WHY NOT?

I'M AFRAID OF GETTING SLOPPY
AND SENTIMENTAL, YOU KNOW.

MY LEAVING AND ALL,
MARY... REALLY, I'M SORT

OF EMOTIONAL... NAH,
I DON'T WANNA START.

RHODA, I FEEL
EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT TOO.

PLEASE, MARY. PLEASE.
LET'S NOT GET INTO IT.

NOW, POINT ONE: WE'VE BEEN,
YOU KNOW, FRIENDS, OKAY?

FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED
TO MISS EACH OTHER.

THEREFORE, POINT
THREE: I WILL MISS YOU.

OKAY? RIGHT? OKAY. RIGHT.

GOOD.

A MODEST LITTLE WINE, BUT I THINK
YOU WILL BE AMUSED BY ITS PRESUMPTION.

AN UNASSUMING LITTLE WINE,

BUT I BELIEVE IT WILL STAIN PERMANENTLY
IF YOU SPILL IT ON YOUR DRESS.

AN ELEGANT LITTLE WI...

MARY, YOU'RE THE
BEST FRIEND I EVER HAD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD
HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU.

RHODA, I'M GONNA
MISS YOU SO MUCH.

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. I'M
REALLY GONNA MISS YOU. MARY...

I JUST KNOCKED MY
SALAD ON THE FLOOR.

I KNOW. I HEARD.

MARY, WILL YOU REMEMBER WHAT I
SAID BEFORE I KNOCKED MY SALAD OVER?

YEAH, I WILL. WILL YOU
REMEMBER WHAT I SAID? OH, YEAH.

SO, ABOUT YOUR
VISITING ME IN NEW YORK...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
NEXT WEEKEND TOO SOON?

OH, MARY.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING'S
JUST OCCURRING TO ME.

TOMORROW MORNING I WILL
BE LEAVING MINNEAPOLIS,

WHICH, STRANGE AS IT SOUNDS, IS
MY HOME WHERE MY FRIENDS ARE,

TO GO TO NEW YORK
WHERE MY FRIENDS AREN'T,

WHERE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE I
KNOW ANYMORE ARE MY PARENTS,

WHICH IS ANOTHER STORY ENTIRELY.

RIGHT? UH, I GUESS SO. RIGHT.

ALSO, MARY, I AM LEAVING AN
APARTMENT THAT I JUST LOVE,

THAT'S TAKEN ME FOUR YEARS
TO FIX UP AND GET PERFECT,

EVEN THOUGH THERE'S
STILL A LOT WRONG,

TO GO LIVE IN A SMALLER,
MORE EXPENSIVE APARTMENT,

WHICH, EVEN IF I FIND, I WILL
HAVE TO DECORATE FROM SCRATCH.

- RIGHT? SAY RIGHT.
- UH, RIGHT.

MARY, WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING
ALL ALONG... I THINK IT'S TRUE.

- WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING
ALL ALONG?
- I'M NOT LEAVING.

RHODA, YOU GAVE UP YOUR
APARTMENT, YOUR JOB...

NO, PLEASE, MARY, DO NOT TRY
TO TALK ME OUT OF IT. I'M STAYING.

TALK YOU OUT OF IT? RHODA,
I THINK THAT'S TERRIFIC.

OH, MARY, I'M NOT LEAVING.

WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER, KID?

WELL, THERE ARE 17 PEOPLE...

HIDING IN MY APARTMENT.

- FOR WHAT?
- FOR YOUR GOING-AWAY PARTY.

SURPRISE.

YOU KNOW, I'M SO SORRY
RHODA'S LEAVING HEMPEL'S.

I'VE BEEN GOING CRAZY
WORRYING ABOUT IT.

SEE, I'M THE OTHER
WINDOW DRESSER THERE.

THERE ARE SIX WINDOWS.

SO NOW, INSTEAD OF DECORATING
THREE, I'LL HAVE TO DO... SIX.

AND, IT'D, UH, BE HARD
TO DRESS SIX, HUH?

OH, YES.

I'M AFRAID I'D RUN
OUT OF THINGS TO SAY.

HEY, EVERYBODY,
NOW IT'S ALMOST 8:30.

RHODA WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE.

NOW, I THINK WE SHOULD ALL HIDE.

ALL HIDE?

YEAH, LOU. YEAH. YOU KNOW, SO WE
CAN ALL YELL "SURPRISE" AND LIKE THAT.

HEY, FELLA. IS THE
CROUCHING ON OR OFF HERE?

I DON'T CROUCH.

LET'S SEE. WHERE SHALL I HIDE?

OH!

EXCUSE ME.

YOU MAY POSSIBLY
RECOGNIZE ME. I'M TED BAXTER.

ANCHORMAN, WJM SIX O'CLOCK NEWS.

OH, TERRIFIC. ARE
YOU COVERING THIS?

THEY'RE HERE! SHH.
ISN'T THIS FUN? I LOVE IT!

ME TOO.

I'M NOT AN EXPERT OR ANYTHING,
BUT SHOULDN'T THE LIGHTS BE OUT?

SOMEBODY GET THE
LIGHTS. GOOD POINT.

NO, RHODA. WHY DON'T YOU COME ON
IN, AND WE'LL HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE?

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

OH, YOU PEOPLE!

SHE'S SO SURPRISED.

OH, MY GOODNESS!
WHAT A SURPRISE!

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! I DON'T BELIEVE
MY EYES. IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY.

YEAH. AND IT'S FOR ME.

OH, MARY, YOU LITTLE DEVIL.
YOU PLANNED ALL THIS, DIDN'T...

NOW DON'T DENY IT. YOU DID.

WELL, YES, I PLANNED
IT. OH, GOLLY.

LOOK AT YOU ALL. OH, GEORGETTE.
AND TED. AND DEAR MURRAY.

OH, I'M REALLY TOUCHED. I MEAN, I'M
SO MOVED, I HARDLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

OH, ROB. OH, GOSH.

SUCH GOOD FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

THIS IS GONNA SOUND
CRAZY AND NUTTY MAYBE,

BUT I JUST MADE UP MY MIND.

YES, I CANNOT LEAVE FRIENDS WHO
WOULD DO A THING LIKE THIS FOR ME.

THIS PARTY HAS CONVINCED
ME. I AM STAYING IN MINNEAPOLIS.

RHODA, YOU'RE STAYING!

OH, WHAT A HAPPY AND
SURPRISING MOMENT FOR US ALL.

COME ON. LET'S
HAVE A TOAST. YES.

OH.

HI THERE.

OH, HI... THERE.

NOBODY WAS HOME
UPSTAIRS, AND I WANTED TO

DROP OFF MY TREES
BEFORE I MOVE IN NEXT WEEK.

OH, HEY, BARRY, I WAS MEANING
TO CALL YOU IN THE MORNING.

HEY, DOES THIS PLACE SWING LIKE THIS
ALL THE TIME? I'M GONNA LOVE LIVING HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU COME IN AND HAVE A
DRINK, AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT JUST THAT.

RIGHT ON. UH, GEORGETTE?

WILL YOU GET BARRY A
"MARTOONI"? I'D BE HAPPY TO.

HI THERE. BARRY BARLOW.

I LOVE YOUR BEADS.

GEE, RHODA, I'M GLAD
YOU DECIDED TO STAY.

AH, MURRAY, YOU ARE SO SWEET.

HEY, I THINK IT'S TERRIFIC
THAT YOU GUYS CAME.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE
STAYING AROUND, RHODA.

THANKS, GUYS.

WELL, RHODA, SO
YOU'RE OFF TO NEW YORK?

RIGHT, TED. WELL, MAY I
WISH YOU BON VOYAGE?

YOU KNOW, GOOD VOYAGE. YEAH.

TED, RHODA IS NOT
GOING TO NEW YORK.

SHE'S STAYING IN MINNEAPOLIS.
THAT'S WHAT SHE JUST TOLD US.

IS THAT WHAT SHE SAID? MM-HMM.

- AND EVERYBODY KNEW?
- MM-HMM.

LOOK AT ME. THE
CHEESE STANDS ALONE.

SO, MARY, UH, HOW'S
MARRIED LIFE TREATING YOU?

OH, FINE. JUST FINE.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE
ON YOUR HONEYMOON.

OH, WELL, WE'RE LEAVING
RIGHT AFTER THE PARTY.

WHERE'S THE OLD BRIDEGROOM?

UH, RIGHT... RIGHT HERE.

BARRY BARLOW, I'D
LIKE YOU TO MEET...

MY... PERSON THAT YOU
WERE ASKING ABOUT.

- HI THERE.
- HELLO. HOW'RE YOU DOIN'?

I'M DOIN' JUST FINE, BUT I CAN
SEE YOU'RE DOIN' A LITTLE BETTER.

MARRIED TO A KNOCKOUT
LIKE YOUR WIFE.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S A
KNOCKOUT, BUT I LIKE HER.

WHEN'D YOU MEET
HER? WE'RE OLD FRIENDS.

IF YOU HADN'T HAVE MARRIED
HER, I JUST MIGHT HAVE.

SAY, MR... LOU... WHAT'RE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WHY DON'T WE FRESHEN
YOUR DRINK, HUH?

HOW DOES HE KNOW
EDIE? UH, HE'S IN SHOES.

SHOES? OH. HEY, GROUP,
LISTEN, THESE PRESENTS...

SINCE I'M NOT GOING AWAY, I HOPE
THEY'RE ALL THINGS YOU CAN USE...

BECAUSE I'M GIVING
EVERY ONE OF THEM BACK.

- AREN'T YOU GONNA
OPEN THEM JUST TO SEE?
- NO. I...

I WOULD OPEN THEM,
RHODA, JUST TO SEE.

OKAY, GEORGETTE.

SO WE PREVENT ANYONE
FROM DYING OF CURIOSITY,

LET'S OPEN THEM JUST TO SEE
WHAT MY HAUL WOULD HAVE BEEN.

I'LL READ THE CARD SO
EVERYONE CAN HEAR.

OH, ISN'T THIS TERRIFIC!
HE'S GOING TO READ.

OH, I JUST LOVE HIS VOICE.

QUIET, EVERYBODY.
HE'S GOING TO READ.

THIS IS TED BAXTER BRINGING
YOU THE 6:00 GIFT CARD.

"LOVE, GORGEOUS." WHAT?

"LOVE, GEORGETTE." BUT I LOVE
THE WAY YOU SAY IT ANYWAY.

HEY, LOOK, EVERYBODY. AHHH.

AH, GEORGETTE, IT'S JUST
GORGEOUS. REALLY. THANK YOU.

IT'S JUST WHAT I
WOULD HAVE WANTED.

YOU KEEP IT AS A
MEMENTO, RHODA. OKAY.

HERE. READ ANOTHER
ONE, MR. BAXTER.

OH, THIS IS A GOOD ONE.

UH, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO
CAN'T SEE, I'LL DESCRIBE IT TO YOU.

A LITTLE DOGGY COMING
OUT OF A LITTLE DOGHOUSE.

AND I THINK THAT'S A
MOMMY AND DADDY DOG...

TED! FROM ROB.

YEAH, AND THAT'S FROM
ME. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

TERRIFIC! A DATE BOOK.

TOO BAD IT'S NOT
FILLED. THANK YOU.

OH, NO, NO. YOU
KEEP IT. OH, TED.

NO, TED. THAT CARD'S FROM
ME, AND I'D REALLY APPRECIATE...

EVERYBODY ELSE IS HAVING
THEIR CARD READ, MARY. WELL, IT'S...

WHAT DO YOU GET FOR YOUR
BEST FRIEND AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

"I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THREE
DIFFERENT THINGS AND TOOK THEM ALL BACK.

"JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY
SENSE TO BUY SOME DUMB GIFT...

"THAT CAN NEVER CONVEY
WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL.

LOVE, MARY."

HEY.

BOY, TALK ABOUT YOUR CHEAPOS.

HERE YOU ARE.

OH, YOU HAVE A GOLDFISH!

OH, WELL, NO. THAT'S RHODA'S.

OH, YOU'RE SO LUCKY, RHODA.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE.

I'M AN ANIMAL LOVER MYSELF.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE I
COULD GET ONE JUST LIKE THAT?

WELL, ACTUALLY, I THINK
IT WOULD BE PRETTY

HARD TO FIND ONE THAT
WASN'T JUST LIKE THAT.

IF YOU LIKE IT, GEORGETTE, I'LL
GIVE YOU THE PICK OF THE LITTER.

- YOU MEAN IT?
- PROMISE.

OH, THANK YOU. BYE.

BYE-BYE.

I'LL BE LEAVING IN A MINUTE.

MARY?

YES, TED? I, UH... I'LL BE
COMING IN LATE TOMORROW.

OKAY. DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW
WHY I'LL BE COMING IN LATE?

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE. BECAUSE I

MET A LITTLE GIRL RIGHT
IN THIS ROOM TONIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
NOTICED THE SPARKS FLYING,

BUT, UH, THAT'S WHY I'M NOT
COMING IN EARLY TOMORROW.

RIGHT. AND IF ANYBODY WANTS TO
KNOW WHY I'M NOT COMING IN EARLY,

YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM
EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

UH, TED, UH, GEORGETTE JUST
GOT IN HER CAR AND DROVE OFF.

I'LL SEE YOU BRIGHT AND
EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.

RIGHT.