Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 7 - Didn't You Used to Be... Wait... Don't Tell Me - full transcript
Mary receives the latest edition of the Viking Voice, the alumni magazine of her alma mater, Leif Erickson High, which is located in the upstate Minnesota town of Roseburg. The magazine, edited by Estelle Proust née Kamser who always had it in for Mary (especially since Mary was named Viking Queen of their class of '59 over Estelle), features an article on Mary's still single status, with Estelle further speculating that perhaps Mary should get back together with her old boyfriend, Howard Arnell, who Mary could no longer date since he was so needy. But Mary also learns that Leif Erickson High is holding a 50th anniversary reunion of the school, which Mary would like to attend (as would non-alumnus Rhoda who wants to see if there are any eligible divorced men also in attendance). Mary has to figure out a way to get Lou to give her a day off so that she can attend the reunion, how to handle an obviously still competitive Estelle who will definitely be there, and what to do if class of '56 Howard shows up.
♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
SO, MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO TONIGHT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. THOUGHT I
MIGHT GO ICE-SKATING. WANNA COME?
NO, THANKS. LAST TIME WE WENT,
YOU DID ALL THAT PEGGY FLEMING STUFF.
THE BEST I COULD DO WAS THREE LAPS
AROUND THE RINK ON THE SIDES OF MY ANKLES.
HEY, HERE'S YOUR
MAIL. OH, THANKS.
VIKING VOICE? WHO HIT YOU UP
FOR A SUBSCRIPTION TO THAT?
IT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL
ALUMNI MAGAZINE.
"VIKING VOICE, LEIF ERICKSON HIGH
SCHOOL. ROSENBURG, MINNESOTA."
- UH, NO. THAT'S ROSEBURG.
- THEY PROBABLY CHANGED IT.
SO, UH, ANYTHING
ABOUT YOU IN HERE?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.
- WHAT YEAR DID YOU GRADUATE?
1959. YEAH.
MARY, YOU'RE FAMOUS. WHERE?
"MARY RICHARDS, WHO
EVERYBODY THOUGHT WOULD
BE THE FIRST GIRL IN
OUR CLASS TO BE MARRIED,
"HAS PROVED TO
BE A REAL SURPRISE.
NOT ONLY IS MARY STILL SINGLE, BUT
SHE'S BECOME A REAL CAREER GAL."
THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS, "CAREER
GAL." COULD I HAVE IT NOW?
"WORD REACHES US FROM THE
TWIN CITIES THAT PERKY MARY...
"IS THE PRODUCER OF THE
TED BAXTER PROGRAM THERE.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SETTLE
DOWN AND PRODUCE SOME KIDS, MARY?"
OH, BOY. THAT'S
REALLY HITTING LOW.
"ESTELLE & VERNON PROUST, '59 VACATIONED
THIS PAST AUGUST AT MOOSE LAKE...
WHERE THEY DIDN'T GO SWIMMING
BECAUSE ESTELLE HAD A SUMMER COLD."
HERE IS A PICTURE OF
ESTELLE NOT SWIMMING.
THIS ESTELLE MUST BE VERY CLOSE
TO THE EDITOR OF THE VIKING VOICE.
ESTELLE IS THE EDITOR
OF THE VIKING VOICE.
THEN IS SHE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THAT CUTE LITTLE ITEM ON YOU?
MM-HMM. ESTELLE STOPPED LIKING ME WHEN
WE RAN AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR VIKING QUEEN.
- AND YOU WON?
- WELL, YEAH.
- VIKING QUEEN?
- [ Chuckles ]
WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS, I THINK YOU
OUGHT TO READ THIS. RIGHT HERE.
"HOWARD ARNELL, CLASS OF '56
WRITES THAT HE IS STILL SINGLE,
"BUT, AS HE PUTS
IT, 'ALWAYS LOOKIN'.'
AS LONG AS YOU'RE LOOKIN', HOWIE,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK UP MARY RICHARDS."
OH, THANKS, ESTELLE. THAT'S ALL I
NEED IS FOR HOWARD TO READ THIS...
JUST WHEN I HAVEN'T HEARD
FROM HIM IN WHAT, SIX MONTHS.
- MAYBE HE'LL MISS IT, MAR.
- WAIT. NO, IT'S OKAY.
"HOWARD ADDS THAT HE HAS JUST ACCEPTED A
POSITION AS HEAD OF PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT...
FOR THE WHIZBANG NOVELTY
CORPORATION IN DENVER."
HA, HA. WELL, DENVER'S
LOSS IS MARY RICHARDS'S GAIN.
THEY'RE HAVING A 50th ANNIVERSARY
OF THE FOUNDING OF LEIF ERICKSON.
ALL THE CLASSES
ARE HAVING REUNIONS.
HEY, YOU KNOW, I REALLY
OUGHT TO GO TO THAT.
YOU KNOW, GIVE EVERYONE
A CHANCE TO SAY, "HOW
COME A CUTE GIRL LIKE
YOU ISN'T MARRIED, MARY?"
MARY, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GO
THROUGH THAT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
OH, I'M USED TO IT.
SO HOW COME A CUTE GIRL
LIKE YOU ISN'T MARRIED, MARY?
TED, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THEY'RE MY FACIAL ISOMETRICS.
OH. IT'S GREAT FOR
FIRMING UP THE OLD FACE.
NOW, IF YOU COULD JUST FIRM
UP THE INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD.
OR THE TOP SIDE
OF YOURS. [ Laughs ]
DID YOU HEAR THAT
JOKE? I GOT HIM, DIDN'T I?
YEAH. YOU SURE DID, TED.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT. TED SAID
SOMETHING ALMOST WITTY.
HEY, MURR, I WAS JUST WONDERING.
DO YOU THINK THAT THERE'S ANY NEWS
VALUE IN THE 50th ANNIVERSARY REUNION...
OF A HIGH SCHOOL IN
UPSTATE MINNESOTA?
ONLY IF THE ROOF COLLAPSES
DURING THE DINNER DANCE.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS
SORT OF INTERESTING.
ANYBODY GET HURT? WHAT?
IN THAT ACCIDENT AT THE
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
TED, I THINK YOU MISSED
SOMETHING BETWEEN GRIMACES.
OH. SAY, MAR, HERE'S
ANOTHER ONE OF MY ISOMETRICS.
- YEAH, I'VE TRIED THAT ONE.
- HELPS DEVELOP THE CHEST.
NOT ALWAYS.
THE REASON I MENTIONED THIS
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION THING...
IS IT'S MY OLD SCHOOL,
AND I'D SORT OF LIKE TO GO.
I THINK YOU SHOULD
CALL IN SICK FRIDAY.
THAT'S A BAD IDEA. I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY
ETHICAL TO CALL IN WHEN YOU'RE NOT SICK.
OKAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
BUT LOOK, IF YOU WANNA TRY TO
CONVINCE LOU, MARY, I'LL BACK YOU UP.
WOULD YOU? AH, THANKS. MM-HMM.
WENT TO MY REUNION A COUPLE OF
MONTHS AGO. FAMOUS ANNOUNCERS SCHOOL.
THAT'S A CORRESPONDENCE COURSE. WHERE
DID THEY HAVE THE REUNION, IN A MAILBOX?
TED, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO PICK UP
THAT CHAIR, I SUGGEST YOU GET OUT OF IT.
JUST TRYING TO FIRM UP
THE OLD TUMMY MUSCLES, LOU.
LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE
A LITTLE OF THAT YOURSELF.
MY TUMMY IS FIRM, TED.
BY GOLLY IT IS.
SAY, LOU, HOW DO YOU
KEEP IN SUCH GREAT SHAPE?
OH, UH, MR.-MR. GRANT?
UH, I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS.
THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL IN ROSEBURG
THAT'S HAVING THE 50th ANNIVERSARY...
OF ITS FOUNDING THIS FRIDAY?
AND, UH,
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF
WE WOULD BE INTERESTED...
IN, UM, COVERING THIS EVENT.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IF-IF
YOU'D BE AT ALL INTERESTED IN IT...
I COULD GO UP THERE AND SORT
OF, YOU KNOW, LOOK IT OVER.
WHY, I THINK THAT'S A
WONDERFUL IDEA, MARY.
YOU DO? MM-HMM.
BUT I THINK IT'S TOO BIG A STORY
FOR YOU TO HANDLE BY YOURSELF.
I THINK MAYBE WE OUGHT
TO SEND A CREW UP WITH YOU.
MAYBE EVEN... TED.
AND IF IT'S THE
BLOCKBUSTER I THINK IT IS,
WE COULD DO IT AGAIN NEXT
YEAR ON THE 51st ANNIVERSARY...
OF THIS DUMB SCHOOL THAT
NOBODY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
SARCASTIC ABOUT IT, MR. GRANT.
IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A
GOOD STORY THEN JUST SAY SO.
[ Groans ]
I THINK HE JUST DID.
THANKS FOR BACKING ME UP.
OH, PLEASE, MARY. I FEEL
BADLY ENOUGH ABOUT IT.
YOU HAPPEN TO BE A GRADUATE OF THIS
DUMB SCHOOL THAT'S HAVING A BIRTHDAY?
WELL... YES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
ASK ME FOR THE DAY OFF?
MR. GRANT, COULD I
HAVE THE DAY OFF?
NO.
THE GENERAL MANAGER'S PUTTING
THE HEAT ON ABOUT GIVING DAYS OFF.
WELL, LISTEN, THAT'S OKAY.
I UNDERSTAND. I REALLY DO.
UH, LOOK, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
GO, WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT I DO?
- WHAT?
- CALL IN SICK.
[ Knocking ] IT'S
ME, MAR. IT'S OPEN.
HI, KID. GOOD MORNING.
HEY, I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF YOU'D MIND TAKING ME.
I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT I'M NOT
GOING TO WORK TODAY, RHODA.
I AM TAKING THE DAY OFF AND
GOING TO MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
I KNOW. THAT'S WHERE I'M
WONDERING IF YOU'D MIND TAKING ME.
TO MY CLASS REUNION? WHY
WOULD WANT TO GO TO THAT?
WELL, MARY, I NEVER HAD A CLASS REUNION
OF MY OWN BEING FROM A DEPRIVED AREA.
AND I SORT OF, YOU KNOW, WANTED
TO KNOW WHAT ONE WAS LIKE.
- UH-HUH.
- AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO THIS WEEKEND...
EXCEPT SIT AROUND
UPSTAIRS IN MY LONELY ROOM.
- UH-HUH.
- AND IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT
AT THESE REUNION THINGS...
ONE MIGHT RUN INTO A LOT
OF RECENTLY DIVORCED MEN.
AH-HA. RHODA, I WON'T
LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT.
HEY, MARY, JUST LET
ME TAKE CARE OF THAT.
OKAY. FINE. IF YOU WANNA COME ALONG,
YOU'RE WELCOME TO. WELL, THANKS.
I'D LOVE THE COMPANY.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD
TO THAT LONG DRIVE.
HEY, YOU BETTER HURRY UP
AND GET PACKED. YEAH, GOOD.
- THAT QUICK ENOUGH?
- HELLO, MR. GRANT?
IT'S MARY. MR. GRANT, I WON'T
BE IN TODAY, I'M NOT FEELING WELL.
YES, I'M SURE THAT I'LL BE
FINE BY MONDAY. THANK YOU.
HEY, MAR, YOU CAN TEACH ME
THE OLD FIGHT SONGS IN THE CAR.
HI, MR. GRANT, IT'S MARY.
UH, LOOK, I'M NOT REALLY
SICK. JUST CALLING IN SICK.
IS THIS 1959? YES.
OH, HI. ESTELLE! ARNELL
HOWARD. HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S HOWARD ARNELL. I PUT MY LAST
NAME FIRST. THERE'S A COMMA THERE.
LISTEN, IS MARY RICHARDS
HERE YET, OR ISN'T SHE COMING?
OH, SHE'LL BE HERE.
ALL THE OLD VIKING
QUEENS ARE OFF GETTING
THEIR PICTURES TAKEN.
WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF. SAY,
YOU'RE NOT '59, ARE YOU?
OH. NO, '56, ESTELLE.
WELL, '56 IS MEETING
IN THE LIBRARY.
YEAH, I KNOW. DULL PARTY. THE
LIBRARIAN KEEPS SHUSHING ME.
I JUST WANTED TO STICK
AROUND AND SAY HELLO TO MARY.
WELL, I'M EXPECTING A BIG '59
TURN OUT. YOU CAN'T STAY LONG.
SAY, THAT'S REALLY CUTE THE WAY
YOU GOT YOUR OLD PICTURE ON THERE.
'56 ONLY GAVE US A NAME.
YES, JUST A LITTLE IDEA I HAD.
I HAD THIS OLD YEARBOOK...
AND I JUST CUT OUT THOSE PICTURES
AND GLUED THEM ON THEIR NAME TAGS.
THAT WAY EVERYBODY CAN SEE WHAT THEY USED
TO LOOK LIKE AND GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH.
OH, YEAH. THAT'S REALLY
GOING TO BE FUNNY.
HOWARD? TAKE OFF
YOUR SHOES. HUH?
- TAKE OFF MY SHOES?
- COACH ASTON SAID
WE COULD ONLY USE...
THIS GYMNASIUM ON THE CONDITION THAT
WE DON'T SCUFF UP HIS BASKETBALL COURT.
OH, OKAY.
- BOTH SHOES, ESTELLE?
- MM-HMM.
LISTEN, UM, COULDN'T I JUST, UH,
TAKE OFF ONE SHOE AND
THEN KIND OF HOP AROUND?
I'M REALLY A GOOD HOPPER. BOTH SHOES,
HOWARD. WE'VE ALL GOT BOTH SHOES OFF.
- YEAH, BUT...
- OFF OR OUT.
HEY, MAR, I'M HERE!
HOWARD'S HERE.
WELL, THERE SHE
IS. MARY RICHARDS.
[ Forced Laugh ] AH, DOESN'T
SHE LOOK TERRIFIC, ESTELLE?
UH-HUH. YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY
WORRIED YOU WEREN'T COMING.
OH, NO. WE'RE, UH, HERE.
OH, HOWARD, YOU REMEMBER
RHODA MORGENSTERN?
WHY SURE. I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU SINCE GRADUATION.
LET ME GET A SHOT OF YOU GIRLS.
WELL, HOWARD... HOLD IT.
[ Camera Clicks ]
- YOU'VE CHANGED, RHODA.
- OH, WELL, YEAH. I'VE BLOSSOMED.
MARY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
REGISTER? YOU'RE HOLDING THINGS UP.
OH. I'M EXPECTING A
BIG CROWD ANY MINUTE.
SURE. HOLD IT!
HOWARD, LISTEN,
I'M NOT... ONE HERE.
I-I HAVE TO REGISTER HERE, HOWARD, SO
WHY DON'T WE JUST DO THIS LATER, OKAY?
OH, OKAY, MAR. OKAY.
OH, LET ME TAKE YOUR
COAT. OH NO, THAT'S OKAY.
NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I...
OH, MAR, I'LL BE OVER THERE
UNDER THE BACKBOARD. GOOD.
WHY ISN'T HE WEARING ANY SHOES?
NONE OF US ARE WEARING SHOES.
WHAT IS THIS, A SOCK HOP?
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD
GET TO USE THE GYMNASIUM.
RUTH GUNDERSON HAD HER
EYES ON IT FOR '58, BUT I GOT IT.
I JUST KNOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE
THE MOST TERRIFIC TURN OUT.
WELL, YOU SURE GOT OFF TO
A TERRIFIC START ALL RIGHT.
SAY, I DON'T SEEM TO REMEMBER
YOU. YOU'RE NOT '59, ARE YOU?
NO, ESTELLE... '59?
DO I LOOK LIKE A '59?
'55?
CLASS OF '62, ESTELLE.
WELL, '62 IS MEETING
IN THE CAFETERIA.
WELL, I'M JUST GONNA HANG AROUND A
FEW MINUTES WHILE MARY REGISTERS.
MARY RICHARDS. IT IS
STILL RICHARDS, ISN'T IT?
UH, YES, IT'S STILL MARY TOO.
SO YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED,
MARY? NO, ESTELLE. I HAVEN'T.
- I'VE BEEN MARRIED TWICE.
- SHE LIKED IT SO MUCH
THE FIRST TIME.
THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.
OH, WELL, NOW YOU
KNOW... THAT FIGURES.
WHAT? YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE
SAME AS YOU DID IN HIGH SCHOOL.
- DOESN'T SHE, ESTELLE?
- AH-AH. SHOES OFF.
OH. JUST PUT THEM OVER
THERE IN A ROW WITH THE OTHERS.
HAVING FUN SO FAR?
MARY, LOOK AT THE
SQUARE WITH THE CREW CUT.
LAST TIME I SAW A GUY IN A
HAIRCUT LIKE THAT WAS IN A MOVIE.
HE WAS GOING TO
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.
HEY, MAR. OVER HERE. OH.
I MEANT THIS
BACKBOARD. AH. [ Chuckles ]
HOWARD, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOUR FOOT? OH, NOTHING.
IT'S-IT'S JUST... I JUST, UH...
OH, WHAT THE HECK. YOU AND I
DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS, DO WE MAR?
LOOK. I GOT A BIG HOLE
IN MY SOCK. LOOK AT THAT.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY KEEP YOUR
TOENAILS LOOKING NICE. THANK YOU.
I SUPPOSE YOU THINK IT'S ONE OF
THOSE CUTE BACHELOR THINGS, HUH?
YOU KNOW, A BIG, GROWN GUY
LIKE MYSELF WITH A HOLE IN MY SOCK.
- IT'S ADORABLE.
- OH, YEAH. WOULD YOU GIRLS
LIKE SOME PUNCH?
OH, I DON'T THINK SO. OH, MAR,
DOESN'T THIS TAKE YOU BACK?
YEAH. IT SURE DOES.
MARY RICHARDS.
OH, IT'S ED MIMS. HI.
- HI, ED. HOWARD ARNELL, '56. REMEMBER ME?
- NO.
UH, RHODA MORGENSTERN. ED MIMS.
RHODA? OH, SURE, RHODA.
HOW ARE YOU? HOW'VE YOU BEEN?
FINE, FINE. HOW'S
THE WIFE AND KIDS, ED?
- OH, I'M NOT MARRIED.
- IS THAT A FACT?
I GUESS I CAN ADMIT THIS NOW, MARY. WHEN
I WAS A SOPHOMORE, YOU WERE A SENIOR.
I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON YOU.
HOLD IT, MAR.
HI. [ All ] HI. HELLO.
NOBODY KNOWS ME, RIGHT?
NO, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD.
[ Mary ] ELDON COLFAX.
OH. THAT'S ME.
LITTLE TUBBY COLFAX?
GEE, YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING
LIKE YOUR PICTURE THERE.
HAIR TRANSPLANT,
CONTACT LENSES, NOSE JOB.
WELL... I LOVE YOUR FACE.
IT'S GETTING THERE.
WELL, UH, WHAT HAVE YOU
BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF?
OH, I'VE BEEN BEEN HAVING
PLASTIC SURGERY MOSTLY.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
HI. BET YOU DON'T
KNOW ME, RIGHT?
WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS INTERESTING
SEEING ALL THE OLD FACES.
IT SURE IS. I SEE YOU GOT
ONE OF THOSE HAIRCUTS.
OH, YEAH. THANKS.
- HIPPY STYLE.
- HUH?
OVER THE EARS, KINDA LIKE
THAT. OH, NO. I DON'T THINK IT'S...
OH, WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST
STAY WITH THE OLD FLATTOP. HA.
- SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THESE DAYS, ED?
- I'M A BARBER.
BUT, I GUESS SOME PEOPLE MIGHT
LOOK AT ME AS BEING A LITTLE SQUARE.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
BEING A LITTLE SQUARE?
I ASK YOU, WHERE WOULD THIS
COUNTRY BE WITHOUT US SQUARES?
GREAT FLATTOP,
ED. REALLY NEAT-O.
HEY, UH, UH, UH... RHODA.
RHODA, YEAH. SAY, RHODA, YOU WANNA
GO DOWN TO THE CAFETERIA WITH ME?
UH, MAYBE. WELL, '62's
GOT A COMBO DOWN THERE,
WE COULD DO SOME OF THE OLD DANCES,
YOU KNOW? THAT'D BE NICE. SQUARE DANCING.
[ Sighs ] ESTELLE,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
ELEVEN PEOPLE, THAT'S
WHAT'S THE MATTER.
WE HAD A GRADUATING CLASS
OF 175 AND 11 PEOPLE SHOW UP.
WELL, IT'S A VERY
NICE 11, THOUGH.
OH, YEAH. YOU'VE DONE A
HECK OF A JOB HERE, ESTELLE.
THE CLASS OF '65 HAS 102.
HELEN WESTERBERG TOLD ME THEY'RE
PACKED LIKE SARDINES IN THE BIOLOGY LAB.
SHE WANTS ME TO TRADE
AND LET THEM USE THE GYM.
OH, OUR CLASS NEVER
DID HAVE ANY SPIRIT.
WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FULL
TURN OUT FOR GRADUATION.
OOH. HEY, EVERYBODY,
IT'S MR. VANDERMAST.
WHAT CLASS IS THIS? '59.
LOUSY TURN OUT. WELL,
I'M EXPECTING A LOT MORE.
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH. YOUR
CLASS NEVER DID HAVE ANY SPIRIT.
MR. VANDERMAST, WON'T YOU
SAY A FEW WORDS TO EVERYBODY?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. VANDERMAST.
WELCOME BACK TO LEIF
ERICKSON HIGH, STUDENTS.
IT'S NICE TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
ALL TEN OF YOU. ELEVEN.
ALL ELEVEN OF YOU. IS
YOUR CLASS PRESIDENT HERE?
HOW ABOUT A VICE PRESIDENT?
I'M HERE. I WAS SECRETARY.
OH, GOOD. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
IS THAT, UH, ESTELLE?
OH, HE REMEMBERED.
DOESN'T HE HAVE A MARVELOUS
MEMORY? DOESN'T HE!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
AND WELCOME BACK.
HOW ABOUT SOME OF MY
PUNCH, MR. VANDERMAST?
MARY RICHARDS.
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MR. VANDERMAST.
OH, FORMALITY ISN'T
NECESSARY, MARY.
WE'RE NOT PRINCIPAL
AND STUDENT ANYMORE.
YOU CAN CALL ME VANDY.
OH, NO, I COULDN'T. YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO FEEL LIKE AN OLD MAN DO YOU?
OH, NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT...
VAND... Y. [ Chuckles ]
DON'T BE PIGGY WITH VANDY, MARY. SOME
OF THE REST OF US WANT TO SEE HIM TOO.
YOU'RE GOING TO STAY
AWHILE LONGER, AREN'T YOU?
OH, YEAH, I GUESS I
CAN STAY A LITTLE WHILE.
OH, GOOD, BECAUSE I
UNDERSTAND THERE'S GOING TO BE...
A LITTLE PRESENTATION
TO YOU LATER ON.
TO ME? WH-WHAT FOR?
[ Laughs ]
SAY, MAR?
I, UH, I SEE YOU WERE TALKING
TO MR. VANDERMAST THERE.
YEAH. GEE, I ALWAYS
LIKED HIM, DIDN'T YOU? NO.
TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, VANDERMAST.
LISTEN, MAR. I, UH, GOT
TO TALK TO YOU. OH?
LOOK, I JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN TO COME TO
THIS REUNION. I CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU.
WHA... WHAT ABOUT, HOWARD?
OH, LOOK, MAR, I PRETEND I LIKE
PLAYING THE SUAVE, ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.
BUT IT'S ALL A GAME,
MAR. A BIG GAME.
OH, I KNOW.
HAPPY-GO-LUCKY HOWARD.
A LOT OF LAUGHS,
GOOD TIMES, HA-HA.
MR. HIP. THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK, ISN'T IT, MARY?
OH, NO, NO. HOWARD, I'VE NEVER
THOUGHT OF YOU AS MR. HIP.
WELL, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SPECIAL,
MARY. THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SEE YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED.
NO, HOWARD. I, I
DON'T THINK THAT I DO.
YES, YOU DO, MARY.
DON'T YOU BE MODEST.
THERE'S SOMETHING
LACKING IN MY LIFE, MARY. OH.
SOMETHING, AND THAT
SOMETHING IS SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
MARRY ME, MARY. [ Clattering ]
LISTEN, EVERYBODY.
THEY'VE CHOSEN OUR
REUNION TO ANNOUNCE
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.
NO. NO, NO, NO. WE ARE NOT.
WE ARE NOT GETTING...
WE'RE NOT? NO, HOWARD.
OH.
HOWARD. LISTEN, I THINK YOU ARE ONE
OF THE NICEST, SWEETEST PEOPLE I KNOW...
AND I THANK YOU FOR WANTING
TO MARRY ME, BUT, NO, HOWARD.
THEN YOU HAVE SOME GIRLFRIENDS
YOU CAN INTRODUCE ME TO?
OH, MAR, YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
A MAN MY AGE, WHAT I
HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
MOST OF THE GIRLS I
DATE ARE SUCH DRAGS.
MAR, HI.
HI, UH, EXCUSE ME
JUST A MINUTE, HOWARD.
SURE. OH, MARY, YOU'LL
DO THAT FOR ME, WON'T YOU?
YEAH, HOWARD, I'LL TRY
TO THINK OF SOMEONE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? THEY REALLY
GOT SQUARE DANCING DOWN THERE.
AND ED, YOU KNOW? HE LOVES
IT. HE'S STILL DOWN THERE.
HE WON'T KNOW I'M GONE UNTIL THEY
GET TO THE DO-SI-DO. WHAT'S WITH HOWARD?
HE WANTS ME TO INTRODUCE
HIM TO SOME GIRLS.
AND YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANY,
RIGHT? YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED.
HOWARD IS...
BORING. BORING, HUH?
YEAH, HE'S KIND OF... DOPEY.
YEAH. DOPEY?
WELL, TO GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE,
I SEE HIM, WHAT, ONCE A YEAR?
EVERY TIME I SEE HIM,
HE ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM.
SO, HOWARD...
MARY, I ALWAYS HOPED THAT YOU WOULD
BE BACK HERE ONE DAY GETTING AN AWARD.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'VE DONE TO DESERVE ONE.
OH, IF YOU'D BEEN COMING
TO OUR REUNIONS EVERY YEAR,
YOU'D KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS
ALWAYS HONORED WITH A TROPHY.
TROPHY?
LET ME READ YOU WHAT IT SAYS.
"TO THAT MEMBER
OF THE CLASS OF 1959,
"LEIF ERICKSON HIGH SCHOOL,
WHO HAS COME THE
FURTHEST TO THE REUNION."
WELL, I, UH, DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN, I ONLY
TRAVELED 125 MILES, SO...
THAT'S A HUNDRED MILES FURTHER THAN
LAST YEAR'S WINNER, MARY. YOU DESERVE IT.
WELL, THANK YOU, I'VE NEVER
HAD AN HONOR BESTOWED UPON...
MYSELF LIKE THIS BEFORE, SO, IT'S HARD,
YOU KNOW, TO FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS...
I GUESS WHAT I'M
TRYING TO SAY...
IT ISN'T NECESSARY TO MAKE
A SPEECH. OH, NO. NO, NO.
[ Mews ]
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
SO, MARY, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO TONIGHT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW. THOUGHT I
MIGHT GO ICE-SKATING. WANNA COME?
NO, THANKS. LAST TIME WE WENT,
YOU DID ALL THAT PEGGY FLEMING STUFF.
THE BEST I COULD DO WAS THREE LAPS
AROUND THE RINK ON THE SIDES OF MY ANKLES.
HEY, HERE'S YOUR
MAIL. OH, THANKS.
VIKING VOICE? WHO HIT YOU UP
FOR A SUBSCRIPTION TO THAT?
IT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL
ALUMNI MAGAZINE.
"VIKING VOICE, LEIF ERICKSON HIGH
SCHOOL. ROSENBURG, MINNESOTA."
- UH, NO. THAT'S ROSEBURG.
- THEY PROBABLY CHANGED IT.
SO, UH, ANYTHING
ABOUT YOU IN HERE?
- OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.
- WHAT YEAR DID YOU GRADUATE?
1959. YEAH.
MARY, YOU'RE FAMOUS. WHERE?
"MARY RICHARDS, WHO
EVERYBODY THOUGHT WOULD
BE THE FIRST GIRL IN
OUR CLASS TO BE MARRIED,
"HAS PROVED TO
BE A REAL SURPRISE.
NOT ONLY IS MARY STILL SINGLE, BUT
SHE'S BECOME A REAL CAREER GAL."
THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS, "CAREER
GAL." COULD I HAVE IT NOW?
"WORD REACHES US FROM THE
TWIN CITIES THAT PERKY MARY...
"IS THE PRODUCER OF THE
TED BAXTER PROGRAM THERE.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SETTLE
DOWN AND PRODUCE SOME KIDS, MARY?"
OH, BOY. THAT'S
REALLY HITTING LOW.
"ESTELLE & VERNON PROUST, '59 VACATIONED
THIS PAST AUGUST AT MOOSE LAKE...
WHERE THEY DIDN'T GO SWIMMING
BECAUSE ESTELLE HAD A SUMMER COLD."
HERE IS A PICTURE OF
ESTELLE NOT SWIMMING.
THIS ESTELLE MUST BE VERY CLOSE
TO THE EDITOR OF THE VIKING VOICE.
ESTELLE IS THE EDITOR
OF THE VIKING VOICE.
THEN IS SHE THE ONE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THAT CUTE LITTLE ITEM ON YOU?
MM-HMM. ESTELLE STOPPED LIKING ME WHEN
WE RAN AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR VIKING QUEEN.
- AND YOU WON?
- WELL, YEAH.
- VIKING QUEEN?
- [ Chuckles ]
WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS, I THINK YOU
OUGHT TO READ THIS. RIGHT HERE.
"HOWARD ARNELL, CLASS OF '56
WRITES THAT HE IS STILL SINGLE,
"BUT, AS HE PUTS
IT, 'ALWAYS LOOKIN'.'
AS LONG AS YOU'RE LOOKIN', HOWIE,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK UP MARY RICHARDS."
OH, THANKS, ESTELLE. THAT'S ALL I
NEED IS FOR HOWARD TO READ THIS...
JUST WHEN I HAVEN'T HEARD
FROM HIM IN WHAT, SIX MONTHS.
- MAYBE HE'LL MISS IT, MAR.
- WAIT. NO, IT'S OKAY.
"HOWARD ADDS THAT HE HAS JUST ACCEPTED A
POSITION AS HEAD OF PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT...
FOR THE WHIZBANG NOVELTY
CORPORATION IN DENVER."
HA, HA. WELL, DENVER'S
LOSS IS MARY RICHARDS'S GAIN.
THEY'RE HAVING A 50th ANNIVERSARY
OF THE FOUNDING OF LEIF ERICKSON.
ALL THE CLASSES
ARE HAVING REUNIONS.
HEY, YOU KNOW, I REALLY
OUGHT TO GO TO THAT.
YOU KNOW, GIVE EVERYONE
A CHANCE TO SAY, "HOW
COME A CUTE GIRL LIKE
YOU ISN'T MARRIED, MARY?"
MARY, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GO
THROUGH THAT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
OH, I'M USED TO IT.
SO HOW COME A CUTE GIRL
LIKE YOU ISN'T MARRIED, MARY?
TED, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
THEY'RE MY FACIAL ISOMETRICS.
OH. IT'S GREAT FOR
FIRMING UP THE OLD FACE.
NOW, IF YOU COULD JUST FIRM
UP THE INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD.
OR THE TOP SIDE
OF YOURS. [ Laughs ]
DID YOU HEAR THAT
JOKE? I GOT HIM, DIDN'T I?
YEAH. YOU SURE DID, TED.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT. TED SAID
SOMETHING ALMOST WITTY.
HEY, MURR, I WAS JUST WONDERING.
DO YOU THINK THAT THERE'S ANY NEWS
VALUE IN THE 50th ANNIVERSARY REUNION...
OF A HIGH SCHOOL IN
UPSTATE MINNESOTA?
ONLY IF THE ROOF COLLAPSES
DURING THE DINNER DANCE.
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS
SORT OF INTERESTING.
ANYBODY GET HURT? WHAT?
IN THAT ACCIDENT AT THE
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
TED, I THINK YOU MISSED
SOMETHING BETWEEN GRIMACES.
OH. SAY, MAR, HERE'S
ANOTHER ONE OF MY ISOMETRICS.
- YEAH, I'VE TRIED THAT ONE.
- HELPS DEVELOP THE CHEST.
NOT ALWAYS.
THE REASON I MENTIONED THIS
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION THING...
IS IT'S MY OLD SCHOOL,
AND I'D SORT OF LIKE TO GO.
I THINK YOU SHOULD
CALL IN SICK FRIDAY.
THAT'S A BAD IDEA. I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY
ETHICAL TO CALL IN WHEN YOU'RE NOT SICK.
OKAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
BUT LOOK, IF YOU WANNA TRY TO
CONVINCE LOU, MARY, I'LL BACK YOU UP.
WOULD YOU? AH, THANKS. MM-HMM.
WENT TO MY REUNION A COUPLE OF
MONTHS AGO. FAMOUS ANNOUNCERS SCHOOL.
THAT'S A CORRESPONDENCE COURSE. WHERE
DID THEY HAVE THE REUNION, IN A MAILBOX?
TED, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO PICK UP
THAT CHAIR, I SUGGEST YOU GET OUT OF IT.
JUST TRYING TO FIRM UP
THE OLD TUMMY MUSCLES, LOU.
LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE
A LITTLE OF THAT YOURSELF.
MY TUMMY IS FIRM, TED.
BY GOLLY IT IS.
SAY, LOU, HOW DO YOU
KEEP IN SUCH GREAT SHAPE?
OH, UH, MR.-MR. GRANT?
UH, I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS.
THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL IN ROSEBURG
THAT'S HAVING THE 50th ANNIVERSARY...
OF ITS FOUNDING THIS FRIDAY?
AND, UH,
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF
WE WOULD BE INTERESTED...
IN, UM, COVERING THIS EVENT.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IF-IF
YOU'D BE AT ALL INTERESTED IN IT...
I COULD GO UP THERE AND SORT
OF, YOU KNOW, LOOK IT OVER.
WHY, I THINK THAT'S A
WONDERFUL IDEA, MARY.
YOU DO? MM-HMM.
BUT I THINK IT'S TOO BIG A STORY
FOR YOU TO HANDLE BY YOURSELF.
I THINK MAYBE WE OUGHT
TO SEND A CREW UP WITH YOU.
MAYBE EVEN... TED.
AND IF IT'S THE
BLOCKBUSTER I THINK IT IS,
WE COULD DO IT AGAIN NEXT
YEAR ON THE 51st ANNIVERSARY...
OF THIS DUMB SCHOOL THAT
NOBODY COULD CARE LESS ABOUT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
SARCASTIC ABOUT IT, MR. GRANT.
IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S A
GOOD STORY THEN JUST SAY SO.
[ Groans ]
I THINK HE JUST DID.
THANKS FOR BACKING ME UP.
OH, PLEASE, MARY. I FEEL
BADLY ENOUGH ABOUT IT.
YOU HAPPEN TO BE A GRADUATE OF THIS
DUMB SCHOOL THAT'S HAVING A BIRTHDAY?
WELL... YES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
ASK ME FOR THE DAY OFF?
MR. GRANT, COULD I
HAVE THE DAY OFF?
NO.
THE GENERAL MANAGER'S PUTTING
THE HEAT ON ABOUT GIVING DAYS OFF.
WELL, LISTEN, THAT'S OKAY.
I UNDERSTAND. I REALLY DO.
UH, LOOK, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO
GO, WHY DON'T YOU DO WHAT I DO?
- WHAT?
- CALL IN SICK.
[ Knocking ] IT'S
ME, MAR. IT'S OPEN.
HI, KID. GOOD MORNING.
HEY, I WAS JUST WONDERING
IF YOU'D MIND TAKING ME.
I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT I'M NOT
GOING TO WORK TODAY, RHODA.
I AM TAKING THE DAY OFF AND
GOING TO MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
I KNOW. THAT'S WHERE I'M
WONDERING IF YOU'D MIND TAKING ME.
TO MY CLASS REUNION? WHY
WOULD WANT TO GO TO THAT?
WELL, MARY, I NEVER HAD A CLASS REUNION
OF MY OWN BEING FROM A DEPRIVED AREA.
AND I SORT OF, YOU KNOW, WANTED
TO KNOW WHAT ONE WAS LIKE.
- UH-HUH.
- AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO DO THIS WEEKEND...
EXCEPT SIT AROUND
UPSTAIRS IN MY LONELY ROOM.
- UH-HUH.
- AND IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT
AT THESE REUNION THINGS...
ONE MIGHT RUN INTO A LOT
OF RECENTLY DIVORCED MEN.
AH-HA. RHODA, I WON'T
LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT.
HEY, MARY, JUST LET
ME TAKE CARE OF THAT.
OKAY. FINE. IF YOU WANNA COME ALONG,
YOU'RE WELCOME TO. WELL, THANKS.
I'D LOVE THE COMPANY.
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD
TO THAT LONG DRIVE.
HEY, YOU BETTER HURRY UP
AND GET PACKED. YEAH, GOOD.
- THAT QUICK ENOUGH?
- HELLO, MR. GRANT?
IT'S MARY. MR. GRANT, I WON'T
BE IN TODAY, I'M NOT FEELING WELL.
YES, I'M SURE THAT I'LL BE
FINE BY MONDAY. THANK YOU.
HEY, MAR, YOU CAN TEACH ME
THE OLD FIGHT SONGS IN THE CAR.
HI, MR. GRANT, IT'S MARY.
UH, LOOK, I'M NOT REALLY
SICK. JUST CALLING IN SICK.
IS THIS 1959? YES.
OH, HI. ESTELLE! ARNELL
HOWARD. HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S HOWARD ARNELL. I PUT MY LAST
NAME FIRST. THERE'S A COMMA THERE.
LISTEN, IS MARY RICHARDS
HERE YET, OR ISN'T SHE COMING?
OH, SHE'LL BE HERE.
ALL THE OLD VIKING
QUEENS ARE OFF GETTING
THEIR PICTURES TAKEN.
WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF. SAY,
YOU'RE NOT '59, ARE YOU?
OH. NO, '56, ESTELLE.
WELL, '56 IS MEETING
IN THE LIBRARY.
YEAH, I KNOW. DULL PARTY. THE
LIBRARIAN KEEPS SHUSHING ME.
I JUST WANTED TO STICK
AROUND AND SAY HELLO TO MARY.
WELL, I'M EXPECTING A BIG '59
TURN OUT. YOU CAN'T STAY LONG.
SAY, THAT'S REALLY CUTE THE WAY
YOU GOT YOUR OLD PICTURE ON THERE.
'56 ONLY GAVE US A NAME.
YES, JUST A LITTLE IDEA I HAD.
I HAD THIS OLD YEARBOOK...
AND I JUST CUT OUT THOSE PICTURES
AND GLUED THEM ON THEIR NAME TAGS.
THAT WAY EVERYBODY CAN SEE WHAT THEY USED
TO LOOK LIKE AND GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH.
OH, YEAH. THAT'S REALLY
GOING TO BE FUNNY.
HOWARD? TAKE OFF
YOUR SHOES. HUH?
- TAKE OFF MY SHOES?
- COACH ASTON SAID
WE COULD ONLY USE...
THIS GYMNASIUM ON THE CONDITION THAT
WE DON'T SCUFF UP HIS BASKETBALL COURT.
OH, OKAY.
- BOTH SHOES, ESTELLE?
- MM-HMM.
LISTEN, UM, COULDN'T I JUST, UH,
TAKE OFF ONE SHOE AND
THEN KIND OF HOP AROUND?
I'M REALLY A GOOD HOPPER. BOTH SHOES,
HOWARD. WE'VE ALL GOT BOTH SHOES OFF.
- YEAH, BUT...
- OFF OR OUT.
HEY, MAR, I'M HERE!
HOWARD'S HERE.
WELL, THERE SHE
IS. MARY RICHARDS.
[ Forced Laugh ] AH, DOESN'T
SHE LOOK TERRIFIC, ESTELLE?
UH-HUH. YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY
WORRIED YOU WEREN'T COMING.
OH, NO. WE'RE, UH, HERE.
OH, HOWARD, YOU REMEMBER
RHODA MORGENSTERN?
WHY SURE. I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU SINCE GRADUATION.
LET ME GET A SHOT OF YOU GIRLS.
WELL, HOWARD... HOLD IT.
[ Camera Clicks ]
- YOU'VE CHANGED, RHODA.
- OH, WELL, YEAH. I'VE BLOSSOMED.
MARY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
REGISTER? YOU'RE HOLDING THINGS UP.
OH. I'M EXPECTING A
BIG CROWD ANY MINUTE.
SURE. HOLD IT!
HOWARD, LISTEN,
I'M NOT... ONE HERE.
I-I HAVE TO REGISTER HERE, HOWARD, SO
WHY DON'T WE JUST DO THIS LATER, OKAY?
OH, OKAY, MAR. OKAY.
OH, LET ME TAKE YOUR
COAT. OH NO, THAT'S OKAY.
NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I...
OH, MAR, I'LL BE OVER THERE
UNDER THE BACKBOARD. GOOD.
WHY ISN'T HE WEARING ANY SHOES?
NONE OF US ARE WEARING SHOES.
WHAT IS THIS, A SOCK HOP?
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD
GET TO USE THE GYMNASIUM.
RUTH GUNDERSON HAD HER
EYES ON IT FOR '58, BUT I GOT IT.
I JUST KNOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE
THE MOST TERRIFIC TURN OUT.
WELL, YOU SURE GOT OFF TO
A TERRIFIC START ALL RIGHT.
SAY, I DON'T SEEM TO REMEMBER
YOU. YOU'RE NOT '59, ARE YOU?
NO, ESTELLE... '59?
DO I LOOK LIKE A '59?
'55?
CLASS OF '62, ESTELLE.
WELL, '62 IS MEETING
IN THE CAFETERIA.
WELL, I'M JUST GONNA HANG AROUND A
FEW MINUTES WHILE MARY REGISTERS.
MARY RICHARDS. IT IS
STILL RICHARDS, ISN'T IT?
UH, YES, IT'S STILL MARY TOO.
SO YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED,
MARY? NO, ESTELLE. I HAVEN'T.
- I'VE BEEN MARRIED TWICE.
- SHE LIKED IT SO MUCH
THE FIRST TIME.
THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.
OH, WELL, NOW YOU
KNOW... THAT FIGURES.
WHAT? YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE
SAME AS YOU DID IN HIGH SCHOOL.
- DOESN'T SHE, ESTELLE?
- AH-AH. SHOES OFF.
OH. JUST PUT THEM OVER
THERE IN A ROW WITH THE OTHERS.
HAVING FUN SO FAR?
MARY, LOOK AT THE
SQUARE WITH THE CREW CUT.
LAST TIME I SAW A GUY IN A
HAIRCUT LIKE THAT WAS IN A MOVIE.
HE WAS GOING TO
THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.
HEY, MAR. OVER HERE. OH.
I MEANT THIS
BACKBOARD. AH. [ Chuckles ]
HOWARD, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOUR FOOT? OH, NOTHING.
IT'S-IT'S JUST... I JUST, UH...
OH, WHAT THE HECK. YOU AND I
DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS, DO WE MAR?
LOOK. I GOT A BIG HOLE
IN MY SOCK. LOOK AT THAT.
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY KEEP YOUR
TOENAILS LOOKING NICE. THANK YOU.
I SUPPOSE YOU THINK IT'S ONE OF
THOSE CUTE BACHELOR THINGS, HUH?
YOU KNOW, A BIG, GROWN GUY
LIKE MYSELF WITH A HOLE IN MY SOCK.
- IT'S ADORABLE.
- OH, YEAH. WOULD YOU GIRLS
LIKE SOME PUNCH?
OH, I DON'T THINK SO. OH, MAR,
DOESN'T THIS TAKE YOU BACK?
YEAH. IT SURE DOES.
MARY RICHARDS.
OH, IT'S ED MIMS. HI.
- HI, ED. HOWARD ARNELL, '56. REMEMBER ME?
- NO.
UH, RHODA MORGENSTERN. ED MIMS.
RHODA? OH, SURE, RHODA.
HOW ARE YOU? HOW'VE YOU BEEN?
FINE, FINE. HOW'S
THE WIFE AND KIDS, ED?
- OH, I'M NOT MARRIED.
- IS THAT A FACT?
I GUESS I CAN ADMIT THIS NOW, MARY. WHEN
I WAS A SOPHOMORE, YOU WERE A SENIOR.
I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON YOU.
HOLD IT, MAR.
HI. [ All ] HI. HELLO.
NOBODY KNOWS ME, RIGHT?
NO, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD.
[ Mary ] ELDON COLFAX.
OH. THAT'S ME.
LITTLE TUBBY COLFAX?
GEE, YOU DON'T LOOK ANYTHING
LIKE YOUR PICTURE THERE.
HAIR TRANSPLANT,
CONTACT LENSES, NOSE JOB.
WELL... I LOVE YOUR FACE.
IT'S GETTING THERE.
WELL, UH, WHAT HAVE YOU
BEEN DOING WITH YOURSELF?
OH, I'VE BEEN BEEN HAVING
PLASTIC SURGERY MOSTLY.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
HI. BET YOU DON'T
KNOW ME, RIGHT?
WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS INTERESTING
SEEING ALL THE OLD FACES.
IT SURE IS. I SEE YOU GOT
ONE OF THOSE HAIRCUTS.
OH, YEAH. THANKS.
- HIPPY STYLE.
- HUH?
OVER THE EARS, KINDA LIKE
THAT. OH, NO. I DON'T THINK IT'S...
OH, WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST
STAY WITH THE OLD FLATTOP. HA.
- SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THESE DAYS, ED?
- I'M A BARBER.
BUT, I GUESS SOME PEOPLE MIGHT
LOOK AT ME AS BEING A LITTLE SQUARE.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
BEING A LITTLE SQUARE?
I ASK YOU, WHERE WOULD THIS
COUNTRY BE WITHOUT US SQUARES?
GREAT FLATTOP,
ED. REALLY NEAT-O.
HEY, UH, UH, UH... RHODA.
RHODA, YEAH. SAY, RHODA, YOU WANNA
GO DOWN TO THE CAFETERIA WITH ME?
UH, MAYBE. WELL, '62's
GOT A COMBO DOWN THERE,
WE COULD DO SOME OF THE OLD DANCES,
YOU KNOW? THAT'D BE NICE. SQUARE DANCING.
[ Sighs ] ESTELLE,
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
ELEVEN PEOPLE, THAT'S
WHAT'S THE MATTER.
WE HAD A GRADUATING CLASS
OF 175 AND 11 PEOPLE SHOW UP.
WELL, IT'S A VERY
NICE 11, THOUGH.
OH, YEAH. YOU'VE DONE A
HECK OF A JOB HERE, ESTELLE.
THE CLASS OF '65 HAS 102.
HELEN WESTERBERG TOLD ME THEY'RE
PACKED LIKE SARDINES IN THE BIOLOGY LAB.
SHE WANTS ME TO TRADE
AND LET THEM USE THE GYM.
OH, OUR CLASS NEVER
DID HAVE ANY SPIRIT.
WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FULL
TURN OUT FOR GRADUATION.
OOH. HEY, EVERYBODY,
IT'S MR. VANDERMAST.
WHAT CLASS IS THIS? '59.
LOUSY TURN OUT. WELL,
I'M EXPECTING A LOT MORE.
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH. YOUR
CLASS NEVER DID HAVE ANY SPIRIT.
MR. VANDERMAST, WON'T YOU
SAY A FEW WORDS TO EVERYBODY?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. VANDERMAST.
WELCOME BACK TO LEIF
ERICKSON HIGH, STUDENTS.
IT'S NICE TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
ALL TEN OF YOU. ELEVEN.
ALL ELEVEN OF YOU. IS
YOUR CLASS PRESIDENT HERE?
HOW ABOUT A VICE PRESIDENT?
I'M HERE. I WAS SECRETARY.
OH, GOOD. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
IS THAT, UH, ESTELLE?
OH, HE REMEMBERED.
DOESN'T HE HAVE A MARVELOUS
MEMORY? DOESN'T HE!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
AND WELCOME BACK.
HOW ABOUT SOME OF MY
PUNCH, MR. VANDERMAST?
MARY RICHARDS.
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, MR. VANDERMAST.
OH, FORMALITY ISN'T
NECESSARY, MARY.
WE'RE NOT PRINCIPAL
AND STUDENT ANYMORE.
YOU CAN CALL ME VANDY.
OH, NO, I COULDN'T. YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO FEEL LIKE AN OLD MAN DO YOU?
OH, NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT...
VAND... Y. [ Chuckles ]
DON'T BE PIGGY WITH VANDY, MARY. SOME
OF THE REST OF US WANT TO SEE HIM TOO.
YOU'RE GOING TO STAY
AWHILE LONGER, AREN'T YOU?
OH, YEAH, I GUESS I
CAN STAY A LITTLE WHILE.
OH, GOOD, BECAUSE I
UNDERSTAND THERE'S GOING TO BE...
A LITTLE PRESENTATION
TO YOU LATER ON.
TO ME? WH-WHAT FOR?
[ Laughs ]
SAY, MAR?
I, UH, I SEE YOU WERE TALKING
TO MR. VANDERMAST THERE.
YEAH. GEE, I ALWAYS
LIKED HIM, DIDN'T YOU? NO.
TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF, VANDERMAST.
LISTEN, MAR. I, UH, GOT
TO TALK TO YOU. OH?
LOOK, I JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN TO COME TO
THIS REUNION. I CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU.
WHA... WHAT ABOUT, HOWARD?
OH, LOOK, MAR, I PRETEND I LIKE
PLAYING THE SUAVE, ELIGIBLE BACHELOR.
BUT IT'S ALL A GAME,
MAR. A BIG GAME.
OH, I KNOW.
HAPPY-GO-LUCKY HOWARD.
A LOT OF LAUGHS,
GOOD TIMES, HA-HA.
MR. HIP. THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK, ISN'T IT, MARY?
OH, NO, NO. HOWARD, I'VE NEVER
THOUGHT OF YOU AS MR. HIP.
WELL, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SPECIAL,
MARY. THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SEE YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED.
NO, HOWARD. I, I
DON'T THINK THAT I DO.
YES, YOU DO, MARY.
DON'T YOU BE MODEST.
THERE'S SOMETHING
LACKING IN MY LIFE, MARY. OH.
SOMETHING, AND THAT
SOMETHING IS SOMEONE LIKE YOU.
MARRY ME, MARY. [ Clattering ]
LISTEN, EVERYBODY.
THEY'VE CHOSEN OUR
REUNION TO ANNOUNCE
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.
NO. NO, NO, NO. WE ARE NOT.
WE ARE NOT GETTING...
WE'RE NOT? NO, HOWARD.
OH.
HOWARD. LISTEN, I THINK YOU ARE ONE
OF THE NICEST, SWEETEST PEOPLE I KNOW...
AND I THANK YOU FOR WANTING
TO MARRY ME, BUT, NO, HOWARD.
THEN YOU HAVE SOME GIRLFRIENDS
YOU CAN INTRODUCE ME TO?
OH, MAR, YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
A MAN MY AGE, WHAT I
HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
MOST OF THE GIRLS I
DATE ARE SUCH DRAGS.
MAR, HI.
HI, UH, EXCUSE ME
JUST A MINUTE, HOWARD.
SURE. OH, MARY, YOU'LL
DO THAT FOR ME, WON'T YOU?
YEAH, HOWARD, I'LL TRY
TO THINK OF SOMEONE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? THEY REALLY
GOT SQUARE DANCING DOWN THERE.
AND ED, YOU KNOW? HE LOVES
IT. HE'S STILL DOWN THERE.
HE WON'T KNOW I'M GONE UNTIL THEY
GET TO THE DO-SI-DO. WHAT'S WITH HOWARD?
HE WANTS ME TO INTRODUCE
HIM TO SOME GIRLS.
AND YOU COULDN'T THINK OF ANY,
RIGHT? YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED.
HOWARD IS...
BORING. BORING, HUH?
YEAH, HE'S KIND OF... DOPEY.
YEAH. DOPEY?
WELL, TO GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE,
I SEE HIM, WHAT, ONCE A YEAR?
EVERY TIME I SEE HIM,
HE ASKS ME TO MARRY HIM.
SO, HOWARD...
MARY, I ALWAYS HOPED THAT YOU WOULD
BE BACK HERE ONE DAY GETTING AN AWARD.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'VE DONE TO DESERVE ONE.
OH, IF YOU'D BEEN COMING
TO OUR REUNIONS EVERY YEAR,
YOU'D KNOW THAT SOMEONE IS
ALWAYS HONORED WITH A TROPHY.
TROPHY?
LET ME READ YOU WHAT IT SAYS.
"TO THAT MEMBER
OF THE CLASS OF 1959,
"LEIF ERICKSON HIGH SCHOOL,
WHO HAS COME THE
FURTHEST TO THE REUNION."
WELL, I, UH, DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I MEAN, I ONLY
TRAVELED 125 MILES, SO...
THAT'S A HUNDRED MILES FURTHER THAN
LAST YEAR'S WINNER, MARY. YOU DESERVE IT.
WELL, THANK YOU, I'VE NEVER
HAD AN HONOR BESTOWED UPON...
MYSELF LIKE THIS BEFORE, SO, IT'S HARD,
YOU KNOW, TO FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS...
I GUESS WHAT I'M
TRYING TO SAY...
IT ISN'T NECESSARY TO MAKE
A SPEECH. OH, NO. NO, NO.
[ Mews ]