Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 5 - A Girl's Best Mother Is Not Her Friend - full transcript
Ida Morgenstern, Rhoda's mother, comes to Minneapolis for a visit, specifically because she thinks she's found the perfect man... for Mary. Rhoda is slightly irked that Ida has gone to mothering Mary when she, in Rhoda's words, hasn't finished mothering Rhoda. But when Ida sees the friendly relationship Phyllis has with Bess and hears about the friendly relationship Mary has with her mother, Ida decides her and Rhoda's relationship would be better served if she was Rhoda's best friend. Armed with Phyllis' parenting books, Ida does try to become Rhoda's friend, in some respects the way Phyllis is with Bess, an adolescent. But Ida and Rhoda also come to the realization that being friends means talking about Rhoda's dates in a frank manner. Ultimately, will over thirty years of being Rhoda's overprotective mother change just because she wants it to? And what will Rhoda have to say in the matter?
♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT ♪
♪ AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
WILL YOU SEE THAT THIS GETS
ON THE 6:00 NEWS, MARY, PLEASE?
MARY, IS LOU IN? I'VE
GOTTA SEE HIM RIGHT AWAY.
WELL, IS HE IN?
UH, WELL, NO, TED. UH, HE ISN'T
IN. I'LL WAIT IN HIS OFFICE THEN.
WELL, TED, I, UH... I THOUGHT
YOU SAID HE WASN'T IN.
SHE WAS RIGHT. I'M OUT.
JUST A MINUTE, LOU.
THERE'S SOMETHING I WANNA
DISCUSS WITH YOU THAT'S VERY SERIOUS.
ALL RIGHT, TED, WHAT IS IT?
SOME IDIOT PARKED HIS
CAR IN MY PARKING SPACE.
AND I'M PRETTY TEED
OFF ABOUT IT, LOU.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, TED. SOME IDIOT
WAS PARKED IN MY SPACE THIS MORNING TOO.
WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT
IT? I PARKED IN YOUR SPACE.
LOU, THERE'S A NOTE
ON YOUR WINDSHIELD.
I'LL GO DOWN FIRST
AND TEAR IT UP FOR YOU.
OH, THANKS. YEAH.
HI, KID. NOW, LET'S GO. HIYA.
WE'RE IN A BIG HURRY.
OH, WHAT'S THE RUSH?
WE GOT JUST ONE HOUR TO EAT LUNCH,
RENT A BED AND GET BACK TO WORK.
- RENT A BED?
- YEAH, MY MOTHER CALLED
FROM NEW YORK.
- SHE'S COMING TO VISIT ME.
- OH, HOW NICE.
NICE IS WHEN YOUR
MOTHER COMES TO VISIT YOU.
WELL, IT'LL BE NICE TO SEE
YOUR MOTHER AGAIN. SHE'S FUN.
FUN? HOW COME
YOU DON'T LIKE HER?
WELL, I LIKE HER TOO, MARY.
BUT I LIKE HER BETTER PERSON
TO PERSON THAN IN PERSON.
OH!
WHY DO YOU AUTOMATICALLY
ASSUME THAT YOUR
MOTHER'S VISIT IS GONNA
TURN OUT TO BE A DISASTER?
I HAVE TO, MAR. IT'S ONE OF THE FEW
SURE THINGS I CAN COUNT ON IN LIFE.
COME ON, RHODA. YOU LOVE
YOUR MOTHER AND YOU KNOW IT.
OF COURSE I LOVE HER. I JUST
THINK SHE'S HOLDING A GRUDGE...
BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO INTO THE
PROFESSION SHE PICKED OUT FOR ME...
HOUSEWIFE.
[ Knocking ] MY
MOTHER, SHE'S HERE.
HEY, MAR, DOES THIS LOOK REAL?
OH, COME ON!
RHODA! MA.
AND MARY! HOW NICE. I
WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HERE.
YES, HERE I AM. OH.
WELL, I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU WOULD
HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
UH, NO, NOT YET.
OR ENGAGED? NO.
- I'M NOT MARRIED
OR ENGAGED EITHER, MA.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
WELL, UH, I'LL BE
LEAVING YOU TWO.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU STAY.
RHODA, LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY
TERRIFIC TO SEE YOU.
IT'S TERRIFIC TO SEE YOU TOO.
I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU'RE HERE,
MA. DON'T WORRY. I'M LEAVING SOON.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LEAVING?
I'M GOING TO A HOTEL. I SEE YOU
ALREADY HAVE A HOUSEGUEST.
I RENTED THIS BED FOR YOU. AH,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
WHY NOT? WELL, YOU NEVER
KNOW WHO HAD IT LAST.
MA, LOOK. I EMPTIED DRAWERS FOR
YOU AND EVERYTHING. OH, LOVELY.
MARY, YOU LOOK SO
SLIM AND TRIM. OH.
AND, RHODA...
WELL, LISTEN, I THINK I REALLY SHOULD
BE LEAVING. NO, NO, YOU STAY RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I
CAME ALL THE WAY TO MINNEAPOLIS?
WELL, OF COURSE I
DO. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
NOW, YOU KNOW EVERY
YEAR MARTIN AND I, UH...
THAT'S MY HUSBAND, MARTIN...
YOU KNOW, RHODA'S FATHER.
YES. WELL, EVERY YEAR MARTIN AND I
GO ON A VACATION TO THE POCONOS.
OH, HOW NICE. MARTIN
HATES THE POCONOS.
OH. SO, THIS YEAR WE BOTH HAD
A GREAT TIME. I WENT BY MYSELF.
OH, WELL, SOMETIMES THAT TURNS OUT TO
BE THE BEST KIND OF VACATION AFTER ALL.
I REMEMBER ONE YEAR
MY MOTHER AND FATHER...
MARY, I HAVEN'T QUITE
FINISHED MY STORY.
OH, WELL, NO, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WELL, WHEN YOU GO TO A RESORT
ALONE, THEY SIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM...
WITH WHAT THEY CALL
"THE SINGLES TABLE."
UH-HUH, YES, I KNOW THAT TABLE.
SO, I MET THIS MOST
MARVELOUS SINGLE MAN...
WHO'S PRESIDENT OF SOMETHING
AND HE IS SO GOOD LOOKING.
WELL, WE SPENT
THE WEEK TOGETHER.
MA, HE SOUNDS PERFECT.
POP KNOW ABOUT THIS?
RHODA, HE'S 34 YEARS OLD.
WHAT I CAME OUT HERE
FOR WAS TO TELL YOU...
THAT HE IS ABSOLUTELY
PERFECT... FOR HER.
PERFECT FOR ME? OH,
MRS. MORGENSTERN.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, REALLY. MA.
WHY IS THIS PERFECT
MAN NOT PERFECT FOR ME?
RHODA, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE'S NOT, UH... YOU KNOW.
NO, I DON'T KNOW.
WELL... [ Chuckles ]
HE'S NOT, UH,
JE... JE... JE... JE...
JE... J-J-JEWISH!
OH!
MA, YOU CAN SAY HE'S NOT
JEWISH IN FRONT OF MARY.
SHE'S NOT JEWISH EITHER.
WELL, THAT'S WHY
HE'S PERFECT FOR HER.
MA, I HATE TO BE THE
ONE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU,
BUT I HAVE SERIOUSLY
DATED GUYS WHO WEREN'T.
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
YES, I HAVE, REALLY. MARY, HELP.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOU TAKING AN INTEREST IN ME AND ALL,
BUT WITH RHODA BEING
MY BEST FRIEND AND ALL,
I FEEL SORT OF... WELL, IT'S
HARD TO KNOW HOW TO PUT IT.
WELL, I KNOW HOW TO PUT IT. MA,
YOU'RE NOT DONE BEING MY MOTHER.
NOW FINISH DRIVING ME CRAZY
BEFORE YOU START BRANCHING OUT.
WELL, LOOK, I... I KNOW YOU
TWO HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, MARY.
WE'RE FINISHED TALKING.
APPARENTLY SOMEONE HERE
THINKS I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
LUCKY IT HAPPENED EARLY IN MY
VISIT SO I'M NOT TOTALLY UNPACKED YET.
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN.
YOU CAN SEND BACK THE BED.
I'M SURE IF YOU CALL NOW
THEY'LL GIVE YOU A REFUND.
MA, IF YOU JUST LISTEN. I THOUGHT
JUST THIS ONCE I'D COME OUT...
AND WE WOULDN'T GET
ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.
MA, I'M SORRY. NO, MA. NO, DON'T
TRY AND STOP ME. MY MIND IS MADE UP.
MA, WILL YOU STOP? MA!
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.
BUT, MA, YOU'RE
PACKING MY CLOTHES!
YOU WEAR SUCH A
REVEALING NIGHTGOWN?
I GIVE UP. [ Groans ]
MARY, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH HER?
NOTHING. NOTHING. MA.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL. COME ON NOW. PLENTY
OF PEOPLE FIGHT WITH THEIR MOTHERS.
- WHO?
- BRENDA. ARNOLD.
YOU LEAVE YOUR BROTHER
AND SISTER OUT OF THIS.
YEAH. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GOING
OUT WITH HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. UH-HUH.
[ Knocking ] HANG ON, MOTHER, WILL
YOU? THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR.
WHO IS IT? [ Ida ] JUST ME.
[ Rhoda ] AND HER DAUGHTER.
HI. HI.
WE WERE JUST NOW DOING A LITTLE
SHOPPING. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN FUN.
FOR A HAIRNET.
LISTEN, JUST MAKE YOURSELVES
AT HOME. I'M TALKING TO MY MOTHER.
HI. SO, WHERE WAS I?
AH, YES. I'M GOING OUT
WITH HIM AGAIN TONIGHT.
- WHAT?
- AND HE'S, UH... HANG ON, MOTHER.
RHODA WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE A
COLD DRINK. THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE.
TELL HER I'M GOING
TO GET IT. I HEARD.
LISTEN, I WOULD REALLY
LIKE YOU TO MEET HIM.
MAYBE THE FOUR OF US CAN GO
OUT TO DINNER NEXT WEEK, HUH?
GREAT. I'D LIKE
THAT. IT'D BE FUN.
OKAY, I'LL BE TALKING
TO YOU, MOM. BYE-BYE.
- THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER?
- YEAH.
YOU TALK LIKE THAT
TO YOUR MOTHER.
- MY, THAT'S LOVELY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, IT SOUNDED LIKE
YOU WERE TALKING TO A FRIEND.
- OH, WELL, WE ARE...
- FRIENDS.
- FRIENDS, SURE.
JUST LIKE YOU AND
RHODA ARE FRIENDS.
SO, TELL ME ABOUT
YOUR SHOPPING TRIP.
DON'T WE HAVE LOVELY STORES
HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS? OH, YES.
AND WE WENT TO EVERY
ONE OF THEM... 30 STORES.
SO WHAT'D YOU BUY? LUNCH.
I'LL BET YOU AND YOUR MOTHER HAVE
A GOOD TIME WHEN YOU GO SHOPPING.
WELL, NO, NO.
UH... WE, UH... WE HAVE
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TASTES.
AND SHE LIKES TO BROWSE AND I
LIKE TO GET IN AND OUT IN A HURRY.
ACTUALLY, WE END UP GETTING
ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.
OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
FUN. [ Phyllis ] YOO-HOO, MARY.
HI. HI. IDA.
BESS, YOU WERE RIGHT. THAT
WAS MRS. MORGENSTERN. HI!
WHY, BESS, THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, I
BET YOU WERE JUST ABOUT THAT HIGH.
I COULDN'T HAVE GROWN THAT MUCH.
WELL, MAYBE I WAS STANDING
AT THE TIME. [ Chuckles ]
HOW LONG ARE YOU
STAYING, IDA, DEAR? NOT LONG.
OH. WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE OUTFITS?
WE JUST GOT THESE
NEAT DRESSES TODAY.
AREN'T THEY THE DARLINGEST THINGS YOU
EVER SAW? THEY'RE MOTHER/DAUGHTER DRESSES.
HOW DOES YOUR
HUSBAND LOOK IN HIS?
WE DON'T WANNA BE LATE
FOR THE YOUNG PEOPLES'
CONCERT. WE STILL HAVE
TO DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR.
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR YOUR YOUNG PEOPLES'
CONCERT MOTHER/DAUGHTER DRESSES?
THE SYMPHONY HERE HAS THE MOST
WONDERFUL CONCERTS FOR CHILDREN.
NO, MARY, THIS IS A REAL
YOUNG PEOPLES' CONCERT.
IT'S THE EIGHTH GRADE BAND AT BESS'S
SCHOOL. BESS PLAYS FIRST TRUMPET.
THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUMPET.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
PLAY SO WELL, DEAR.
WELL, PHYLLIS, I BETTER GO
CHANGE. BYE, EVERYONE. BYE, DEAR.
SHE CALLS YOU PHYLLIS?
THAT'S THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP
WE HAVE... EASY, HONEST, OPEN.
WONDERFUL. THAT TOO.
FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS
I'VE BEEN TEACHING A COURSE...
SHOWING MOTHERS HOW TO
RELATE TO THEIR CHILDREN.
PHYLLIS, ISN'T THAT A
CERAMICS CLASS YOU TEACH?
THEY THINK IT'S A
CERAMICS CLASS.
HEY, MAR, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH
SOMETHING? YEAH, SURE. WHAT DO YOU NEED?
YOUR HAND. I HAVE TO CARRY A
SHEET OF PLYWOOD OUT OF MY CAR...
UPSTAIRS AND PUT IT UNDER
MY MOTHER'S MATTRESS. SURE.
I NEED THE SUPPORT
FOR MY BACK. OH.
BUT DON'T GO TO ANY BOTHER. I'D BE
VERY HAPPY TO MAKE UP THE FLOOR.
WOULDN'T WORK, MA.
IT'S A VERY SOFT FLOOR.
THAT DUMB, AWFUL...
OH, I FORGOT. YOU'RE
RELATED. I'M SORRY.
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT RHODA AND I DON'T
HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.
BUT YOU, YOU SEEM TO BE SUCH
GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR LITTLE BESS.
WELL, I TRY. AND
MARY AND HER MOTHER.
HOW DO YOU DO IT, PHYLLIS?
YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?
WELL, I DON'T WANNA BE ANY
BOTHER. IDA, IT'S NO BOTHER.
BELIEVE ME, IDA. WHY
DON'T YOU COME WITH ME?
I HAVE SOME BOOKS DOWNSTAIRS
AND I'LL BE GLAD TO GIVE 'EM TO YOU.
THEY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
AND WHAT THEY DON'T EXPLAIN, I'LL EXPLAIN.
WELL, I'D SURE LIKE TO BE FRIENDS
WITH RHODA. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE, IDA.
WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY THING RHODA
AND I HAVE IN COMMON IS... HER FATHER.
YOU WANNA GO TO LUNCH
TODAY, MAR? THANKS, MURRAY.
I'D LIKE TO, BUT I'M HAVING LUNCH
WITH RHODA AND IDA. WHO'S IDA?
IDA IS THIS PERSON WHO
USED TO BE RHODA'S MOTHER,
WHO IS NOW DRIVING HER
CRAZY TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND.
SHE EVEN WENT ON
A DIET WITH RHODA.
SHE LOST THREE POUNDS
AND RHODA GAINED FIVE.
THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET TOGETHER
ON ANYTHING. MY MOTHER WAS THE SAME WAY.
SHE COULD NEVER SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
THAT KIDS DON'T NEED PARENTS FOR FRIENDS.
- LUCKILY, SHE FINALLY
GOT THE MESSAGE.
- HOW?
WHEN THEY WOULDN'T LET
HER ON MY LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM.
TOO BAD TOO. THAT
WOMAN HAD A GREAT ARM.
HI, GUYS. [ Mary ] HI.
TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SO EARLY?
YOU DON'T GO ON FOR, WHAT, 5 1/2 HOURS.
WELL, I'M DOING A LITTLE
MOONLIGHTING ON DAYTIME TV.
I'M GONNA BE A GUEST
PANELIST ON WHAT'S MY TALENT?
PANELIST? YOU SHOULD
BE A CONTESTANT, TED.
NO ONE WOULD EVER
GUESS WHAT YOUR TALENT IS.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU
KNOW, SOMETIMES...
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THE THINGS
YOU SAY ARE INSULTS OR COMPLIMENTS.
OH, GEE, TED, I'D
HATE TO THINK...
THAT YOU'RE TAKING ALL THESE
THINGS I SAY THE WRONG WAY.
THEY'RE NOT COMPLIMENTS.
MARY, HI. OH, HI,
MRS. MORGENSTERN.
WELL, WHAT A NICE BIG
OFFICE YOU'VE GOT HERE.
OH, WELL, NO. I JUST HAVE
THIS LITTLE DESK HERE.
OH, WELL, WHAT A NICE LITTLE
DESK IN SUCH A BIG OFFICE.
GEE, YOU LOOK GREAT.
OH, DO YOU LIKE IT?
I BOUGHT IT THIS MORNING.
RHODA NOT HERE? NO.
I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HER I LOST
THREE MORE POUNDS ON HER DIET.
OH, SHE'LL BE THRILLED. LISTEN.
SIT DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
I'VE GOTTA TAKE THIS DOWN TO THE MAIL ROOM.
BY THE TIME I GET BACK, RHODA SHOULD
BE HERE AND WE'LL ALL GO TO LUNCH.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I'M
GONNA BREAK MY DIET FOR LUNCH.
AH.
[ Intercom Buzzes ]
[ Buzzing Continues ]
[ Lou ] WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE?
[ Knocking ] COME IN.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BLACK.
YOU DIDN'T SAY WHETHER YOU WANTED
CREAM OR SUGAR, SO I JUST BROUGHT IT BLACK.
I COULD HAVE ADDED THE
CREAM AND SUGAR, BUT IF
I WOULD HAVE PUT IT
IN, I COULDN'T GET IT OUT.
- HELLO. YOU WORK HERE?
- NO, I'M RHODA'S MOTHER.
- AH. DOES SHE WORK HERE?
- NO, RHODA'S MARY'S FRIEND.
AHA. AT LAST, SOMEBODY WHO
WORKS HERE. WHERE IS SHE?
MARY? SHE'LL BE
BACK IN A FEW MINUTES.
SHE'S BACK IN THE MAILING
ROOM MAILING SOME, UH, MAIL.
UH-HUH.
MARY WORKS HARD,
DOESN'T SHE? UH-HUH.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY 'CAUSE MARY'S
TOLD ME HOW HARD YOU WORK TOO.
I TRY.
IT'S A NICE LITTLE OFFICE
YOU GOT. AAH, LOOK!
MISS, WILL YOU PLEASE...
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN.
I, UH, SEE YOU'VE MET.
YES, WE'VE MET.
I'M AWFULLY GLAD I GOT
A CHANCE TO MEET YOU.
MARY'S TOLD ME SO
MUCH ABOUT YOU...
HOW CONSIDERATE YOU
ARE AND HOW THOUGHTFUL.
IT WAS VERY NICE
MEETING YOU, MURRAY.
HE'S A PLEASANT PERSON,
ISN'T HE? OH, HE CERTAINLY IS.
AH, MURRAY. I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET RHODA'S MOTHER.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, MURRAY
SLAUGHTER. VERY HAPPY TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU. THERE ARE A LOT OF
MURRAYS AROUND HERE, AREN'T THERE?
WELL, NO. ACTUALLY, THAT
WASN'T A MURRAY IN THERE.
THAT WAS MY BOSS MR. GRANT.
OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE. I
SHOULD GO APOLOGIZE.
NO, NO! NO, PLEASE, DON'T.
JUST, UH, GO RELAX.
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
MARY, I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE.
RHODA, HI!
MA! THAT DRESS.
YOU LIKE IT?
OF COURSE I LIKE
IT. I'M WEARING IT.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT?
MA, YOU BOUGHT THE SAME DRESS I
BOUGHT YESTERDAY. DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
WELL, OF COURSE. WHO DO YOU
THINK ZIPPED YOU UP THIS MORNING?
WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE IT'S NICE.
MA, IT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S THE WORST.
SO, WHERE SHALL WE
HAVE LUNCH TODAY?
SOMEPLACE VERY DARK.
WHO'D LIKE SOME MORE WINE? MARY?
NO. JUST A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE.
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING IT.
YOU'RE NOT DRINKING IT. IT
ISN'T TOO SWEET FOR YOU, IS IT?
OH, NO, NO.
HMM. NOT TOO SWEET.
RHODA? OH, NO. NO, MA.
I'M SAVING MINE FOR DESSERT.
PHYLLIS, YOU SURE YOU WON'T HAVE
DESSERT WITH US? NO, THANK YOU, MARY.
BETH AND I ARE HAVING DINNER OUT
TOGETHER BEFORE WE GO TO THE THEATER.
TOGETHER? TOGETHER.
YOU DO EVERYTHING
TOGETHER, DON'T YOU? YES.
THEY SURE DO. PHYLLIS IS
THE ONLY GROWNUP EVER
TO GRADUATE ROSEWOOD
AVENUE GRAMMAR SCHOOL.
I'M SURE, IDA, THAT YOU
TOOK JUST AS ACTIVE
AN INTEREST IN YOUR
DAUGHTER'S SCHOOLING...
AS I DO IN MY LITTLE BESS'S.
I WOULD'VE VISITED
RHODA'S SCHOOL MORE, BUT
I WAS AFRAID TO WALK
IN THAT NEIGHBORHOOD.
- COFFEE, ANYBODY?
- YEAH, I'D LOVE SOME, MAR.
PHYLLIS, WE BETTER GO NOW
SO WE WON'T MISS THE PLAY.
WHAT ARE YOU SEEING? HAIR.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S A
BENEFIT FOR THE P.T.A.
THEY'RE DOING THE NUDE
SCENE WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON.
I HOPE YOU DON'T GET RAIDED.
I'D HATE TO SEE BESS'S PICTURES SPLASHED
ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE WEEKLY READER.
BYE. HAVE FUN,
KIDS. BYE-BYE, DEAR.
- [ Phyllis ] BYE, MARY.
- BYE! SHOULD WE HAVE COFFEE
IN THE... ROOM?
- YOU CAN BRING YOUR WINE.
- IT'S NICE SPENDING
AN EVENING TOGETHER.
JUST US THREE GIRLS.
MA, THE ONLY GIRL IN
THIS ROOM JUST LEFT.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, CREAM
AND SUGAR? ONE SUGAR, PLEASE.
- HOW 'BOUT YOU, RHODA? YOU
TAKING SUGAR IN YOUR COFFEE?
- I'M GONNA PUT MY WINE IN IT.
WELL, WE GOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH DINNER
AND NOBODY EVEN MENTIONED MY PANTSUIT.
I NOTICED IT. IT'S LOVELY.
MA, THAT'S WHAT'S
DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.
YOU NEVER WORE PANTS
BEFORE. I MEAN, LITERALLY, THAT IS.
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
IS DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?
- WHAT?
I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.
MA! GO UPSTAIRS AND
PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!
RHODA, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D
TELL A FRIEND TO GO CHANGE...
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S WITH IT.
YOU'RE NOT WITH IT. YOU'RE WITHOUT
IT. NOW GO UPSTAIRS AND GET IT.
MARY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
UH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I, UH...
YOU LISTEN TO MARY. SHE KNOWS.
MA, PLEASE.
A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN
YOU WERE MY MOTHER,
YOU USED TO DRIVE
ME A LITTLE CRAZY.
OKAY. THEN PHYLLIS GETS A HOLD OF
YOU AND YOU BECOME MY BEST FRIEND.
IF I HAD A CHOICE, I WOULD RATHER
BE DRIVEN CRAZY BY MY MOTHER...
THAN BY A TOTAL STRANGER
IN A PANTSUIT AND NO BRA.
IT WAS A LOVELY
DINNER. THANK YOU, MARY.
I'M SORRY I CAN'T STAY
AND HELP WITH THE DISHES,
BUT PERHAPS I'LL BE COMING BACK
TO MINNEAPOLIS AGAIN SOMETIME.
MA. MA, PLEASE WAIT.
OKAY, I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND.
- YOU MEAN IT?
- YEAH, I MEAN IT.
WE'LL BE LIKE, UH, ROOMMATES.
OH, WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE US
THREE GIRLS GONNA DO TONIGHT?
WELL, I'D LOVE TO JOIN
YOU, BUT I HAVE A DATE.
OH, WHAT ABOUT YOU,
RHO? I HAVE A DATE TOO.
OH.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
THIS BEING FRIENDS IS GONNA TAKE
A GREAT WEIGHT OFF OF BOTH OF US.
IN THE OLD DAYS WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE
GOING OUT, I WOULD HAVE SAID, "WHO IS HE?"
- "WHAT DOES HE
DO FOR A LIVING?"
- "WHAT'S HIS FAMILY LIKE?"
- "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
- BUT THOSE ARE ALL
MOTHER QUESTIONS.
A FRIEND DOESN'T ASK
THOSE QUESTIONS. DOES SHE?
- AFRAID NOT.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, WHAT TIME IS
HE PICKING YOU UP?
OH, HE'S NOT PICKING ME UP.
I'M PICKING HIM UP. WE'RE
DRIVING UP TO THE MOUNTAINS.
HE HAS THIS, UH, CABIN. I
SHOULD BE HOME BY THURSDAY.
UH-UH. TESTING. JUST TESTING.
[ Knocking ]
WHO IS IT? [ Ida ]
NOBODY. ONLY ME.
HI, MRS. MORGENSTERN. HI.
- HOPE I'M NOT DISTURBING YOU.
- UH, WELL, I WAS, UH, JUST
GETTING READY FOR BED.
BUT, UH, COME ON IN.
THANK YOU. IS, UH,
ANYTHING THE MATTER?
NO, I JUST CAN'T SLEEP. I GUESS
MY BODY'S STILL ON NEW YORK TIME.
IT'S KIND OF LATE FOR YOU TO BE
UP, ISN'T IT? NO, I WAS ON A DATE.
OH. DID YOU SEE RHODA?
SHE WAS OUT THERE ON A DATE TOO.
- I DIDN'T. ISN'T SHE HOME YET?
- I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T SEE HER UP THERE.
OH, WELL, IT'S PRETTY HARD TO MISS
HER UP THERE IN THAT SMALL ROOM, SO...
WELL, I DON'T GO AROUND
KEEPING TABS OF MY FRIEND.
OH. WHAT'D YOU DO ON YOUR DATE?
OH, WE JUST CAUGHT A SHOW,
WATCHED A NEW GROUP AT THE EMBERS.
YOU KNOW. OH, MY, YOU DID
ALL THAT AND YOU'RE HOME...
AND UNDRESSED AND READY FOR BED.
I WONDER WHAT RHODA'S READY FOR.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I
WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT HER.
WORRY? OH, I'M NOT WORRIED.
OKAY, BEFORE I WOULD HAVE
BEEN WORRIED, BUT NOW...
YOU DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF
HER DATE, DO YOU? OR HIS FAMILY?
UH, NO, HE'S SOMEBODY NEW.
OH. WELL, I GUESS RHODA AND
THAT MYSTERIOUS STRANGER...
ARE OUT THERE PARKED SOMEWHERE.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I DON'T
THINK PEOPLE DO THAT ANYMORE.
NO? WHAT DO THEY
DO? DON'T TELL ME.
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING. IT GETS
AWFULLY DARK HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS.
MRS. MORGENSTERN. IDA.
IDA, LISTEN. THERE IS PROBABLY
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,
BUT IF IT WOULD MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER TO WORRY,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET
YOURSELF GO AND WORRY?
WORRY? WHY SHOULD I WORRY?
I DIDN'T WORRY WHEN
YOU CAME IN AT 12:57.
MARY, I'M KEEPING YOU UP.
I THINK I'M GONNA...
[ Rhoda ] MAR?
GRAB A COLD DRINK.
I THINK I'M THIRSTY.
HI. MARY, HAVE YOU
SEEN MY MOTHER?
OH, HI, RHODA. HOME SO SOON?
I JUST CAME DOWN FOR A GLASS OF
MILK AND MARY AND I GOT TO TALKING.
NO, MRS. MORGENSTERN,
YOU DID NOT JUST HAPPEN TO
COME DOWN FOR A GLASS OF MILK.
- IDA.
- MRS. MORGENSTERN.
I CAME HOME, SHE WASN'T
THERE. SO I GOT WORRIED.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO
WAS WORRIED. YOUR MOTHER...
I WAS NOT. YOU WERE.
RHODA, YOU SHOULDN'T GO
AROUND WORRYING YOUR FRIENDS.
WHICH FRIEND, YOU OR HER?
SHE'S RIGHT, MA. YOU'RE
THE ONE WHO WAS WORRIED.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
BECAUSE YOU HATE MILK.
HEY, LOOK. MA, YOU'VE
BEEN A SWELL FRIEND,
BUT I REALLY NEED A MOTHER.
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
I HEARD, I HEARD.
NO, HOLD IT, GIRLS.
NO EMOTIONS. IT'S
NOTHING TOUCHING.
I JUST NEED A MOTHER RIGHT
NOW ONE FLIGHT UP. WHAT FOR?
BECAUSE ALL NIGHT LONG I
HAVE BEEN OUT WITH SUPER LECH.
WHICH WAS OKAY BECAUSE I
KNEW WHEN HE BROUGHT ME HOME,
I COULD SAY, "I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T
COME IN. MY MOTHER'S STAYING WITH ME."
WHEN WE GOT TO THE
DOOR, HE SAYS, "PROVE IT."
SO I OPENED THE
DOOR AND NO MOTHER.
IS HE STILL UP THERE? UH-HUH.
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
GO UP THERE AND HELP OUT?
NO. HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL VISIT, RHODA.
THOSE TWO WEEKS JUST FLEW BY.
- MA, IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK.
- OH, REALLY?
I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME
I THOUGHT IT WAS TWO.
HEY, RHODA, THIS BED DOESN'T
SEEM TO WANNA FOLD UP.
I WOULDN'T PAY
THEM THE FULL PRICE.
AH, HERE'S THE TROUBLE.
THAT'S THE BEST BOARD I EVER
HAD. I THINK I'LL TAKE IT WITH ME.
MA, WAIT. YOU GOT A
GREAT BOARD AT HOME.
IF I WAS GOING HOME I WOULDN'T NEED IT,
BUT I'M GONNA VISIT YOUR SISTER IN CHICAGO.
WOULD YOU TELL HER SHE CAN'T
GET THIS BOARD IN AN AIRPLANE?
WOULD YOU TELL HER IF YOU CAN GET IT
IN A CAR, YOU CAN GET IT IN AN AIRPLANE?
[ Mews ]
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪
♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪
♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪
♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪
♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT ♪
♪ AFTER ALL ♪
♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪
WILL YOU SEE THAT THIS GETS
ON THE 6:00 NEWS, MARY, PLEASE?
MARY, IS LOU IN? I'VE
GOTTA SEE HIM RIGHT AWAY.
WELL, IS HE IN?
UH, WELL, NO, TED. UH, HE ISN'T
IN. I'LL WAIT IN HIS OFFICE THEN.
WELL, TED, I, UH... I THOUGHT
YOU SAID HE WASN'T IN.
SHE WAS RIGHT. I'M OUT.
JUST A MINUTE, LOU.
THERE'S SOMETHING I WANNA
DISCUSS WITH YOU THAT'S VERY SERIOUS.
ALL RIGHT, TED, WHAT IS IT?
SOME IDIOT PARKED HIS
CAR IN MY PARKING SPACE.
AND I'M PRETTY TEED
OFF ABOUT IT, LOU.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, TED. SOME IDIOT
WAS PARKED IN MY SPACE THIS MORNING TOO.
WHAT DID YOU DO ABOUT
IT? I PARKED IN YOUR SPACE.
LOU, THERE'S A NOTE
ON YOUR WINDSHIELD.
I'LL GO DOWN FIRST
AND TEAR IT UP FOR YOU.
OH, THANKS. YEAH.
HI, KID. NOW, LET'S GO. HIYA.
WE'RE IN A BIG HURRY.
OH, WHAT'S THE RUSH?
WE GOT JUST ONE HOUR TO EAT LUNCH,
RENT A BED AND GET BACK TO WORK.
- RENT A BED?
- YEAH, MY MOTHER CALLED
FROM NEW YORK.
- SHE'S COMING TO VISIT ME.
- OH, HOW NICE.
NICE IS WHEN YOUR
MOTHER COMES TO VISIT YOU.
WELL, IT'LL BE NICE TO SEE
YOUR MOTHER AGAIN. SHE'S FUN.
FUN? HOW COME
YOU DON'T LIKE HER?
WELL, I LIKE HER TOO, MARY.
BUT I LIKE HER BETTER PERSON
TO PERSON THAN IN PERSON.
OH!
WHY DO YOU AUTOMATICALLY
ASSUME THAT YOUR
MOTHER'S VISIT IS GONNA
TURN OUT TO BE A DISASTER?
I HAVE TO, MAR. IT'S ONE OF THE FEW
SURE THINGS I CAN COUNT ON IN LIFE.
COME ON, RHODA. YOU LOVE
YOUR MOTHER AND YOU KNOW IT.
OF COURSE I LOVE HER. I JUST
THINK SHE'S HOLDING A GRUDGE...
BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO INTO THE
PROFESSION SHE PICKED OUT FOR ME...
HOUSEWIFE.
[ Knocking ] MY
MOTHER, SHE'S HERE.
HEY, MAR, DOES THIS LOOK REAL?
OH, COME ON!
RHODA! MA.
AND MARY! HOW NICE. I
WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HERE.
YES, HERE I AM. OH.
WELL, I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU WOULD
HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED OR SOMETHING.
UH, NO, NOT YET.
OR ENGAGED? NO.
- I'M NOT MARRIED
OR ENGAGED EITHER, MA.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
WELL, UH, I'LL BE
LEAVING YOU TWO.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU STAY.
RHODA, LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY
TERRIFIC TO SEE YOU.
IT'S TERRIFIC TO SEE YOU TOO.
I'M REALLY HAPPY YOU'RE HERE,
MA. DON'T WORRY. I'M LEAVING SOON.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LEAVING?
I'M GOING TO A HOTEL. I SEE YOU
ALREADY HAVE A HOUSEGUEST.
I RENTED THIS BED FOR YOU. AH,
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
WHY NOT? WELL, YOU NEVER
KNOW WHO HAD IT LAST.
MA, LOOK. I EMPTIED DRAWERS FOR
YOU AND EVERYTHING. OH, LOVELY.
MARY, YOU LOOK SO
SLIM AND TRIM. OH.
AND, RHODA...
WELL, LISTEN, I THINK I REALLY SHOULD
BE LEAVING. NO, NO, YOU STAY RIGHT HERE.
DON'T YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I
CAME ALL THE WAY TO MINNEAPOLIS?
WELL, OF COURSE I
DO. GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
NOW, YOU KNOW EVERY
YEAR MARTIN AND I, UH...
THAT'S MY HUSBAND, MARTIN...
YOU KNOW, RHODA'S FATHER.
YES. WELL, EVERY YEAR MARTIN AND I
GO ON A VACATION TO THE POCONOS.
OH, HOW NICE. MARTIN
HATES THE POCONOS.
OH. SO, THIS YEAR WE BOTH HAD
A GREAT TIME. I WENT BY MYSELF.
OH, WELL, SOMETIMES THAT TURNS OUT TO
BE THE BEST KIND OF VACATION AFTER ALL.
I REMEMBER ONE YEAR
MY MOTHER AND FATHER...
MARY, I HAVEN'T QUITE
FINISHED MY STORY.
OH, WELL, NO, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
WELL, WHEN YOU GO TO A RESORT
ALONE, THEY SIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM...
WITH WHAT THEY CALL
"THE SINGLES TABLE."
UH-HUH, YES, I KNOW THAT TABLE.
SO, I MET THIS MOST
MARVELOUS SINGLE MAN...
WHO'S PRESIDENT OF SOMETHING
AND HE IS SO GOOD LOOKING.
WELL, WE SPENT
THE WEEK TOGETHER.
MA, HE SOUNDS PERFECT.
POP KNOW ABOUT THIS?
RHODA, HE'S 34 YEARS OLD.
WHAT I CAME OUT HERE
FOR WAS TO TELL YOU...
THAT HE IS ABSOLUTELY
PERFECT... FOR HER.
PERFECT FOR ME? OH,
MRS. MORGENSTERN.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, REALLY. MA.
WHY IS THIS PERFECT
MAN NOT PERFECT FOR ME?
RHODA, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE'S NOT, UH... YOU KNOW.
NO, I DON'T KNOW.
WELL... [ Chuckles ]
HE'S NOT, UH,
JE... JE... JE... JE...
JE... J-J-JEWISH!
OH!
MA, YOU CAN SAY HE'S NOT
JEWISH IN FRONT OF MARY.
SHE'S NOT JEWISH EITHER.
WELL, THAT'S WHY
HE'S PERFECT FOR HER.
MA, I HATE TO BE THE
ONE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU,
BUT I HAVE SERIOUSLY
DATED GUYS WHO WEREN'T.
NO, YOU HAVEN'T.
YES, I HAVE, REALLY. MARY, HELP.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOU TAKING AN INTEREST IN ME AND ALL,
BUT WITH RHODA BEING
MY BEST FRIEND AND ALL,
I FEEL SORT OF... WELL, IT'S
HARD TO KNOW HOW TO PUT IT.
WELL, I KNOW HOW TO PUT IT. MA,
YOU'RE NOT DONE BEING MY MOTHER.
NOW FINISH DRIVING ME CRAZY
BEFORE YOU START BRANCHING OUT.
WELL, LOOK, I... I KNOW YOU
TWO HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT.
OH, NO, NO, NO, MARY.
WE'RE FINISHED TALKING.
APPARENTLY SOMEONE HERE
THINKS I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
LUCKY IT HAPPENED EARLY IN MY
VISIT SO I'M NOT TOTALLY UNPACKED YET.
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN.
YOU CAN SEND BACK THE BED.
I'M SURE IF YOU CALL NOW
THEY'LL GIVE YOU A REFUND.
MA, IF YOU JUST LISTEN. I THOUGHT
JUST THIS ONCE I'D COME OUT...
AND WE WOULDN'T GET
ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.
MA, I'M SORRY. NO, MA. NO, DON'T
TRY AND STOP ME. MY MIND IS MADE UP.
MA, WILL YOU STOP? MA!
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.
BUT, MA, YOU'RE
PACKING MY CLOTHES!
YOU WEAR SUCH A
REVEALING NIGHTGOWN?
I GIVE UP. [ Groans ]
MARY, WHAT'S THE
MATTER WITH HER?
NOTHING. NOTHING. MA.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL. COME ON NOW. PLENTY
OF PEOPLE FIGHT WITH THEIR MOTHERS.
- WHO?
- BRENDA. ARNOLD.
YOU LEAVE YOUR BROTHER
AND SISTER OUT OF THIS.
YEAH. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'M GOING
OUT WITH HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. UH-HUH.
[ Knocking ] HANG ON, MOTHER, WILL
YOU? THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR.
WHO IS IT? [ Ida ] JUST ME.
[ Rhoda ] AND HER DAUGHTER.
HI. HI.
WE WERE JUST NOW DOING A LITTLE
SHOPPING. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN FUN.
FOR A HAIRNET.
LISTEN, JUST MAKE YOURSELVES
AT HOME. I'M TALKING TO MY MOTHER.
HI. SO, WHERE WAS I?
AH, YES. I'M GOING OUT
WITH HIM AGAIN TONIGHT.
- WHAT?
- AND HE'S, UH... HANG ON, MOTHER.
RHODA WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE A
COLD DRINK. THAT WOULD BE VERY NICE.
TELL HER I'M GOING
TO GET IT. I HEARD.
LISTEN, I WOULD REALLY
LIKE YOU TO MEET HIM.
MAYBE THE FOUR OF US CAN GO
OUT TO DINNER NEXT WEEK, HUH?
GREAT. I'D LIKE
THAT. IT'D BE FUN.
OKAY, I'LL BE TALKING
TO YOU, MOM. BYE-BYE.
- THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER?
- YEAH.
YOU TALK LIKE THAT
TO YOUR MOTHER.
- MY, THAT'S LOVELY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WELL, IT SOUNDED LIKE
YOU WERE TALKING TO A FRIEND.
- OH, WELL, WE ARE...
- FRIENDS.
- FRIENDS, SURE.
JUST LIKE YOU AND
RHODA ARE FRIENDS.
SO, TELL ME ABOUT
YOUR SHOPPING TRIP.
DON'T WE HAVE LOVELY STORES
HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS? OH, YES.
AND WE WENT TO EVERY
ONE OF THEM... 30 STORES.
SO WHAT'D YOU BUY? LUNCH.
I'LL BET YOU AND YOUR MOTHER HAVE
A GOOD TIME WHEN YOU GO SHOPPING.
WELL, NO, NO.
UH... WE, UH... WE HAVE
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TASTES.
AND SHE LIKES TO BROWSE AND I
LIKE TO GET IN AND OUT IN A HURRY.
ACTUALLY, WE END UP GETTING
ON EACH OTHER'S NERVES.
OH, THAT SOUNDS LIKE
FUN. [ Phyllis ] YOO-HOO, MARY.
HI. HI. IDA.
BESS, YOU WERE RIGHT. THAT
WAS MRS. MORGENSTERN. HI!
WHY, BESS, THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU, I
BET YOU WERE JUST ABOUT THAT HIGH.
I COULDN'T HAVE GROWN THAT MUCH.
WELL, MAYBE I WAS STANDING
AT THE TIME. [ Chuckles ]
HOW LONG ARE YOU
STAYING, IDA, DEAR? NOT LONG.
OH. WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE OUTFITS?
WE JUST GOT THESE
NEAT DRESSES TODAY.
AREN'T THEY THE DARLINGEST THINGS YOU
EVER SAW? THEY'RE MOTHER/DAUGHTER DRESSES.
HOW DOES YOUR
HUSBAND LOOK IN HIS?
WE DON'T WANNA BE LATE
FOR THE YOUNG PEOPLES'
CONCERT. WE STILL HAVE
TO DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR.
WHY DON'T YOU WEAR YOUR YOUNG PEOPLES'
CONCERT MOTHER/DAUGHTER DRESSES?
THE SYMPHONY HERE HAS THE MOST
WONDERFUL CONCERTS FOR CHILDREN.
NO, MARY, THIS IS A REAL
YOUNG PEOPLES' CONCERT.
IT'S THE EIGHTH GRADE BAND AT BESS'S
SCHOOL. BESS PLAYS FIRST TRUMPET.
THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUMPET.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
PLAY SO WELL, DEAR.
WELL, PHYLLIS, I BETTER GO
CHANGE. BYE, EVERYONE. BYE, DEAR.
SHE CALLS YOU PHYLLIS?
THAT'S THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP
WE HAVE... EASY, HONEST, OPEN.
WONDERFUL. THAT TOO.
FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS
I'VE BEEN TEACHING A COURSE...
SHOWING MOTHERS HOW TO
RELATE TO THEIR CHILDREN.
PHYLLIS, ISN'T THAT A
CERAMICS CLASS YOU TEACH?
THEY THINK IT'S A
CERAMICS CLASS.
HEY, MAR, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH
SOMETHING? YEAH, SURE. WHAT DO YOU NEED?
YOUR HAND. I HAVE TO CARRY A
SHEET OF PLYWOOD OUT OF MY CAR...
UPSTAIRS AND PUT IT UNDER
MY MOTHER'S MATTRESS. SURE.
I NEED THE SUPPORT
FOR MY BACK. OH.
BUT DON'T GO TO ANY BOTHER. I'D BE
VERY HAPPY TO MAKE UP THE FLOOR.
WOULDN'T WORK, MA.
IT'S A VERY SOFT FLOOR.
THAT DUMB, AWFUL...
OH, I FORGOT. YOU'RE
RELATED. I'M SORRY.
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT SEEMS TO ME THAT RHODA AND I DON'T
HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.
BUT YOU, YOU SEEM TO BE SUCH
GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR LITTLE BESS.
WELL, I TRY. AND
MARY AND HER MOTHER.
HOW DO YOU DO IT, PHYLLIS?
YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?
WELL, I DON'T WANNA BE ANY
BOTHER. IDA, IT'S NO BOTHER.
BELIEVE ME, IDA. WHY
DON'T YOU COME WITH ME?
I HAVE SOME BOOKS DOWNSTAIRS
AND I'LL BE GLAD TO GIVE 'EM TO YOU.
THEY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
AND WHAT THEY DON'T EXPLAIN, I'LL EXPLAIN.
WELL, I'D SURE LIKE TO BE FRIENDS
WITH RHODA. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE, IDA.
WELL, UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY THING RHODA
AND I HAVE IN COMMON IS... HER FATHER.
YOU WANNA GO TO LUNCH
TODAY, MAR? THANKS, MURRAY.
I'D LIKE TO, BUT I'M HAVING LUNCH
WITH RHODA AND IDA. WHO'S IDA?
IDA IS THIS PERSON WHO
USED TO BE RHODA'S MOTHER,
WHO IS NOW DRIVING HER
CRAZY TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND.
SHE EVEN WENT ON
A DIET WITH RHODA.
SHE LOST THREE POUNDS
AND RHODA GAINED FIVE.
THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GET TOGETHER
ON ANYTHING. MY MOTHER WAS THE SAME WAY.
SHE COULD NEVER SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
THAT KIDS DON'T NEED PARENTS FOR FRIENDS.
- LUCKILY, SHE FINALLY
GOT THE MESSAGE.
- HOW?
WHEN THEY WOULDN'T LET
HER ON MY LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM.
TOO BAD TOO. THAT
WOMAN HAD A GREAT ARM.
HI, GUYS. [ Mary ] HI.
TED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SO EARLY?
YOU DON'T GO ON FOR, WHAT, 5 1/2 HOURS.
WELL, I'M DOING A LITTLE
MOONLIGHTING ON DAYTIME TV.
I'M GONNA BE A GUEST
PANELIST ON WHAT'S MY TALENT?
PANELIST? YOU SHOULD
BE A CONTESTANT, TED.
NO ONE WOULD EVER
GUESS WHAT YOUR TALENT IS.
WAIT A MINUTE. YOU
KNOW, SOMETIMES...
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THE THINGS
YOU SAY ARE INSULTS OR COMPLIMENTS.
OH, GEE, TED, I'D
HATE TO THINK...
THAT YOU'RE TAKING ALL THESE
THINGS I SAY THE WRONG WAY.
THEY'RE NOT COMPLIMENTS.
MARY, HI. OH, HI,
MRS. MORGENSTERN.
WELL, WHAT A NICE BIG
OFFICE YOU'VE GOT HERE.
OH, WELL, NO. I JUST HAVE
THIS LITTLE DESK HERE.
OH, WELL, WHAT A NICE LITTLE
DESK IN SUCH A BIG OFFICE.
GEE, YOU LOOK GREAT.
OH, DO YOU LIKE IT?
I BOUGHT IT THIS MORNING.
RHODA NOT HERE? NO.
I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HER I LOST
THREE MORE POUNDS ON HER DIET.
OH, SHE'LL BE THRILLED. LISTEN.
SIT DOWN AND MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
I'VE GOTTA TAKE THIS DOWN TO THE MAIL ROOM.
BY THE TIME I GET BACK, RHODA SHOULD
BE HERE AND WE'LL ALL GO TO LUNCH.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. I'M
GONNA BREAK MY DIET FOR LUNCH.
AH.
[ Intercom Buzzes ]
[ Buzzing Continues ]
[ Lou ] WOULD YOU PLEASE
GET ME A CUP OF COFFEE?
[ Knocking ] COME IN.
I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BLACK.
YOU DIDN'T SAY WHETHER YOU WANTED
CREAM OR SUGAR, SO I JUST BROUGHT IT BLACK.
I COULD HAVE ADDED THE
CREAM AND SUGAR, BUT IF
I WOULD HAVE PUT IT
IN, I COULDN'T GET IT OUT.
- HELLO. YOU WORK HERE?
- NO, I'M RHODA'S MOTHER.
- AH. DOES SHE WORK HERE?
- NO, RHODA'S MARY'S FRIEND.
AHA. AT LAST, SOMEBODY WHO
WORKS HERE. WHERE IS SHE?
MARY? SHE'LL BE
BACK IN A FEW MINUTES.
SHE'S BACK IN THE MAILING
ROOM MAILING SOME, UH, MAIL.
UH-HUH.
MARY WORKS HARD,
DOESN'T SHE? UH-HUH.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY 'CAUSE MARY'S
TOLD ME HOW HARD YOU WORK TOO.
I TRY.
IT'S A NICE LITTLE OFFICE
YOU GOT. AAH, LOOK!
MISS, WILL YOU PLEASE...
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN.
I, UH, SEE YOU'VE MET.
YES, WE'VE MET.
I'M AWFULLY GLAD I GOT
A CHANCE TO MEET YOU.
MARY'S TOLD ME SO
MUCH ABOUT YOU...
HOW CONSIDERATE YOU
ARE AND HOW THOUGHTFUL.
IT WAS VERY NICE
MEETING YOU, MURRAY.
HE'S A PLEASANT PERSON,
ISN'T HE? OH, HE CERTAINLY IS.
AH, MURRAY. I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET RHODA'S MOTHER.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, MURRAY
SLAUGHTER. VERY HAPPY TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU. THERE ARE A LOT OF
MURRAYS AROUND HERE, AREN'T THERE?
WELL, NO. ACTUALLY, THAT
WASN'T A MURRAY IN THERE.
THAT WAS MY BOSS MR. GRANT.
OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE. I
SHOULD GO APOLOGIZE.
NO, NO! NO, PLEASE, DON'T.
JUST, UH, GO RELAX.
I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
MARY, I'M SORRY I'M SO LATE.
RHODA, HI!
MA! THAT DRESS.
YOU LIKE IT?
OF COURSE I LIKE
IT. I'M WEARING IT.
WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT?
MA, YOU BOUGHT THE SAME DRESS I
BOUGHT YESTERDAY. DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
WELL, OF COURSE. WHO DO YOU
THINK ZIPPED YOU UP THIS MORNING?
WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE IT'S NICE.
MA, IT'S TERRIBLE.
IT'S THE WORST.
SO, WHERE SHALL WE
HAVE LUNCH TODAY?
SOMEPLACE VERY DARK.
WHO'D LIKE SOME MORE WINE? MARY?
NO. JUST A LITTLE. JUST A LITTLE.
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING IT.
YOU'RE NOT DRINKING IT. IT
ISN'T TOO SWEET FOR YOU, IS IT?
OH, NO, NO.
HMM. NOT TOO SWEET.
RHODA? OH, NO. NO, MA.
I'M SAVING MINE FOR DESSERT.
PHYLLIS, YOU SURE YOU WON'T HAVE
DESSERT WITH US? NO, THANK YOU, MARY.
BETH AND I ARE HAVING DINNER OUT
TOGETHER BEFORE WE GO TO THE THEATER.
TOGETHER? TOGETHER.
YOU DO EVERYTHING
TOGETHER, DON'T YOU? YES.
THEY SURE DO. PHYLLIS IS
THE ONLY GROWNUP EVER
TO GRADUATE ROSEWOOD
AVENUE GRAMMAR SCHOOL.
I'M SURE, IDA, THAT YOU
TOOK JUST AS ACTIVE
AN INTEREST IN YOUR
DAUGHTER'S SCHOOLING...
AS I DO IN MY LITTLE BESS'S.
I WOULD'VE VISITED
RHODA'S SCHOOL MORE, BUT
I WAS AFRAID TO WALK
IN THAT NEIGHBORHOOD.
- COFFEE, ANYBODY?
- YEAH, I'D LOVE SOME, MAR.
PHYLLIS, WE BETTER GO NOW
SO WE WON'T MISS THE PLAY.
WHAT ARE YOU SEEING? HAIR.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S A
BENEFIT FOR THE P.T.A.
THEY'RE DOING THE NUDE
SCENE WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON.
I HOPE YOU DON'T GET RAIDED.
I'D HATE TO SEE BESS'S PICTURES SPLASHED
ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE WEEKLY READER.
BYE. HAVE FUN,
KIDS. BYE-BYE, DEAR.
- [ Phyllis ] BYE, MARY.
- BYE! SHOULD WE HAVE COFFEE
IN THE... ROOM?
- YOU CAN BRING YOUR WINE.
- IT'S NICE SPENDING
AN EVENING TOGETHER.
JUST US THREE GIRLS.
MA, THE ONLY GIRL IN
THIS ROOM JUST LEFT.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, CREAM
AND SUGAR? ONE SUGAR, PLEASE.
- HOW 'BOUT YOU, RHODA? YOU
TAKING SUGAR IN YOUR COFFEE?
- I'M GONNA PUT MY WINE IN IT.
WELL, WE GOT ALL THE WAY THROUGH DINNER
AND NOBODY EVEN MENTIONED MY PANTSUIT.
I NOTICED IT. IT'S LOVELY.
MA, THAT'S WHAT'S
DIFFERENT ABOUT YOU.
YOU NEVER WORE PANTS
BEFORE. I MEAN, LITERALLY, THAT IS.
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE
IS DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?
- WHAT?
I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.
MA! GO UPSTAIRS AND
PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!
RHODA, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D
TELL A FRIEND TO GO CHANGE...
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S WITH IT.
YOU'RE NOT WITH IT. YOU'RE WITHOUT
IT. NOW GO UPSTAIRS AND GET IT.
MARY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
UH, WELL, ACTUALLY, I, UH...
YOU LISTEN TO MARY. SHE KNOWS.
MA, PLEASE.
A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN
YOU WERE MY MOTHER,
YOU USED TO DRIVE
ME A LITTLE CRAZY.
OKAY. THEN PHYLLIS GETS A HOLD OF
YOU AND YOU BECOME MY BEST FRIEND.
IF I HAD A CHOICE, I WOULD RATHER
BE DRIVEN CRAZY BY MY MOTHER...
THAN BY A TOTAL STRANGER
IN A PANTSUIT AND NO BRA.
IT WAS A LOVELY
DINNER. THANK YOU, MARY.
I'M SORRY I CAN'T STAY
AND HELP WITH THE DISHES,
BUT PERHAPS I'LL BE COMING BACK
TO MINNEAPOLIS AGAIN SOMETIME.
MA. MA, PLEASE WAIT.
OKAY, I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND.
- YOU MEAN IT?
- YEAH, I MEAN IT.
WE'LL BE LIKE, UH, ROOMMATES.
OH, WELL, THEN, WHAT ARE US
THREE GIRLS GONNA DO TONIGHT?
WELL, I'D LOVE TO JOIN
YOU, BUT I HAVE A DATE.
OH, WHAT ABOUT YOU,
RHO? I HAVE A DATE TOO.
OH.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.
THIS BEING FRIENDS IS GONNA TAKE
A GREAT WEIGHT OFF OF BOTH OF US.
IN THE OLD DAYS WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE
GOING OUT, I WOULD HAVE SAID, "WHO IS HE?"
- "WHAT DOES HE
DO FOR A LIVING?"
- "WHAT'S HIS FAMILY LIKE?"
- "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
- BUT THOSE ARE ALL
MOTHER QUESTIONS.
A FRIEND DOESN'T ASK
THOSE QUESTIONS. DOES SHE?
- AFRAID NOT.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, WHAT TIME IS
HE PICKING YOU UP?
OH, HE'S NOT PICKING ME UP.
I'M PICKING HIM UP. WE'RE
DRIVING UP TO THE MOUNTAINS.
HE HAS THIS, UH, CABIN. I
SHOULD BE HOME BY THURSDAY.
UH-UH. TESTING. JUST TESTING.
[ Knocking ]
WHO IS IT? [ Ida ]
NOBODY. ONLY ME.
HI, MRS. MORGENSTERN. HI.
- HOPE I'M NOT DISTURBING YOU.
- UH, WELL, I WAS, UH, JUST
GETTING READY FOR BED.
BUT, UH, COME ON IN.
THANK YOU. IS, UH,
ANYTHING THE MATTER?
NO, I JUST CAN'T SLEEP. I GUESS
MY BODY'S STILL ON NEW YORK TIME.
IT'S KIND OF LATE FOR YOU TO BE
UP, ISN'T IT? NO, I WAS ON A DATE.
OH. DID YOU SEE RHODA?
SHE WAS OUT THERE ON A DATE TOO.
- I DIDN'T. ISN'T SHE HOME YET?
- I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T SEE HER UP THERE.
OH, WELL, IT'S PRETTY HARD TO MISS
HER UP THERE IN THAT SMALL ROOM, SO...
WELL, I DON'T GO AROUND
KEEPING TABS OF MY FRIEND.
OH. WHAT'D YOU DO ON YOUR DATE?
OH, WE JUST CAUGHT A SHOW,
WATCHED A NEW GROUP AT THE EMBERS.
YOU KNOW. OH, MY, YOU DID
ALL THAT AND YOU'RE HOME...
AND UNDRESSED AND READY FOR BED.
I WONDER WHAT RHODA'S READY FOR.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I
WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT HER.
WORRY? OH, I'M NOT WORRIED.
OKAY, BEFORE I WOULD HAVE
BEEN WORRIED, BUT NOW...
YOU DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF
HER DATE, DO YOU? OR HIS FAMILY?
UH, NO, HE'S SOMEBODY NEW.
OH. WELL, I GUESS RHODA AND
THAT MYSTERIOUS STRANGER...
ARE OUT THERE PARKED SOMEWHERE.
MRS. MORGENSTERN, I DON'T
THINK PEOPLE DO THAT ANYMORE.
NO? WHAT DO THEY
DO? DON'T TELL ME.
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING. IT GETS
AWFULLY DARK HERE IN MINNEAPOLIS.
MRS. MORGENSTERN. IDA.
IDA, LISTEN. THERE IS PROBABLY
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT,
BUT IF IT WOULD MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER TO WORRY,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET
YOURSELF GO AND WORRY?
WORRY? WHY SHOULD I WORRY?
I DIDN'T WORRY WHEN
YOU CAME IN AT 12:57.
MARY, I'M KEEPING YOU UP.
I THINK I'M GONNA...
[ Rhoda ] MAR?
GRAB A COLD DRINK.
I THINK I'M THIRSTY.
HI. MARY, HAVE YOU
SEEN MY MOTHER?
OH, HI, RHODA. HOME SO SOON?
I JUST CAME DOWN FOR A GLASS OF
MILK AND MARY AND I GOT TO TALKING.
NO, MRS. MORGENSTERN,
YOU DID NOT JUST HAPPEN TO
COME DOWN FOR A GLASS OF MILK.
- IDA.
- MRS. MORGENSTERN.
I CAME HOME, SHE WASN'T
THERE. SO I GOT WORRIED.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO
WAS WORRIED. YOUR MOTHER...
I WAS NOT. YOU WERE.
RHODA, YOU SHOULDN'T GO
AROUND WORRYING YOUR FRIENDS.
WHICH FRIEND, YOU OR HER?
SHE'S RIGHT, MA. YOU'RE
THE ONE WHO WAS WORRIED.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
BECAUSE YOU HATE MILK.
HEY, LOOK. MA, YOU'VE
BEEN A SWELL FRIEND,
BUT I REALLY NEED A MOTHER.
OH, MRS. MORGENSTERN,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
I HEARD, I HEARD.
NO, HOLD IT, GIRLS.
NO EMOTIONS. IT'S
NOTHING TOUCHING.
I JUST NEED A MOTHER RIGHT
NOW ONE FLIGHT UP. WHAT FOR?
BECAUSE ALL NIGHT LONG I
HAVE BEEN OUT WITH SUPER LECH.
WHICH WAS OKAY BECAUSE I
KNEW WHEN HE BROUGHT ME HOME,
I COULD SAY, "I'M SORRY. YOU CAN'T
COME IN. MY MOTHER'S STAYING WITH ME."
WHEN WE GOT TO THE
DOOR, HE SAYS, "PROVE IT."
SO I OPENED THE
DOOR AND NO MOTHER.
IS HE STILL UP THERE? UH-HUH.
WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA
GO UP THERE AND HELP OUT?
NO. HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
IT WAS A WONDERFUL VISIT, RHODA.
THOSE TWO WEEKS JUST FLEW BY.
- MA, IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE WEEK.
- OH, REALLY?
I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME
I THOUGHT IT WAS TWO.
HEY, RHODA, THIS BED DOESN'T
SEEM TO WANNA FOLD UP.
I WOULDN'T PAY
THEM THE FULL PRICE.
AH, HERE'S THE TROUBLE.
THAT'S THE BEST BOARD I EVER
HAD. I THINK I'LL TAKE IT WITH ME.
MA, WAIT. YOU GOT A
GREAT BOARD AT HOME.
IF I WAS GOING HOME I WOULDN'T NEED IT,
BUT I'M GONNA VISIT YOUR SISTER IN CHICAGO.
WOULD YOU TELL HER SHE CAN'T
GET THIS BOARD IN AN AIRPLANE?
WOULD YOU TELL HER IF YOU CAN GET IT
IN A CAR, YOU CAN GET IT IN AN AIRPLANE?
[ Mews ]