Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 20 - The Care and Feeding of Parents - full transcript

♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

"NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEBTS OTHER
THAN MY OWN. CHRISTOPHER HAYWOOD."

RHODA HAYWOOD.



RHODA, WHY DO YOU
BOTHER READING THOSE?

IT'S THE FIRST PLACE WHERE GUYS
ANNOUNCE THEY'RE SINGLE AGAIN.

I'M JUST TRYING OUT THEIR NAMES.

"NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DEBTS OTHER
THAN MY OWN. VICTOR CHRISTIAN."

RHODA CHRISTIAN... MY
MOTHER WOULD KILL ME.

[ Knocking ] OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH.

OH, GUESS WHO. IT'S PHYLLIS.

MARY, I'LL GET IT. LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT
TAKES HER TO REMIND US WE'RE NOT MARRIED.

OH. AM I INTRUDING?

I DON'T WANT TO BUTT IN ON ANY,
UH, SINGLE GALS-TYPE CHATTER.

- FOUR SECONDS.
- HI.

MARY, I'VE COME TO IMPOSE UPON
YOUR FRIENDSHIP JUST A LITTLE BIT. MAY I?

YEAH, SURE. OH.

THIS IS A LITTLE COMPOSITION
THAT BESS WROTE



IN ENGLISH CLASS,
AND YOU MUST READ IT.

I MUST HAVE YOUR
REACTION TO IT. UH, NOW?

- OH, MARY, DO YOU MIND?
- NO, I CAN PUT MY HANDS
IN MEAT LOAF... ANYTIME.

SEE, I-I WANT THE REACTION OF
SOMEONE WHOSE OPINION I RESPECT...

WHO IS ALSO WITTY
AND PERCEPTIVE...

AND YOU WANT ME TO READ IT?

I DON'T THINK THAT'LL
BE NECESSARY, RHODA.

MARY, I DON'T WANT YOU
TO BE INFLUENCED BY ME.

BUT REALLY, THIS IS SO
CLEVER, INSIGHTFUL...

UH, BUT YOU DON'T WANT THAT
TO INFLUENCE ME, RIGHT? RIGHT.

HMM. "VERY GOOD."
OH, DO YOU THINK SO?

OH, WELL, NO. THAT'S WHAT THE TEACHER
WROTE UP HERE AT THE TOP... "VERY GOOD."

DID YOU NOTICE THAT "A" RIGHT
THERE NEXT TO "VERY GOOD?"

LOOK AT THAT "A." THAT IS SOME
"A." SO BIG AND RED AND ROSY.

ISN'T THAT A CUTE TITLE, MARY?
"THE CARE AND FEEDING OF PARENTS."

YEAH, IT IS.

[ Laughing ]

ISN'T THAT FIRST SENTENCE FUNNY?

PHYLLIS, IT'S REALLY,
UH, DIFFICULT TO READ...

WHEN SOMEONE IS WATCHING
YOUR EYES GO BACK AND FORTH.

SORRY.

[ Laughs ] WHAT WAS
THAT? WHAT WAS THAT?

OH, WELL, THIS... IT REALLY IS TERRIFIC.
BESS CERTAINLY DOES HAVE A FLAIR.

OH, MARY, DO YOU
REALLY THINK SO? YEAH.

I DO SO HATE IMPOSING ON YOU.

OH, PHYLLIS, YOU
WEREN'T IMPOSING.

WELL, UH, SEE, THE
IMPOSING HASN'T BEGUN.

OH?

DON'T YOU THINK THIS WOULD
MAKE AN EXCELLENT ARTICLE...

FOR ONE OF THOSE
TEENAGE-TYPE MAGAZINES?

WHY DON'T YOU SEND
IT IN TO ONE OF THEM?

WELL, MARY, THAT'S WHAT I...

MARY, YOU KNOW THE SNIDER
PUBLISHING COMPANY, DON'T YOU?

I SHOULD... THEY OWN
THE BUILDING I WORK IN.

OH, DO THEY?

THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE
SNIDER BUILDING, PHYLLIS.

OH. WELL, THEN YOU KNOW...

HOW THEY, UH, PUBLISH ALL KINDS OF
BOOKS AND MAGAZINES FOR CHILDREN?

AND, UH, I THOUGHT IN
PARTICULAR TEEN TOPICS? MM-HMM.

I THOUGHT THAT THIS, UH, MIGHT
MAKE A PERFECT ARTICLE FOR THEM.

YOU AREN'T BY ANY CHANCE
GONNA SUGGEST THAT I...

TAKE THE COMPOSITION IN TO
SNIDER PUBLISHING, ARE YOU?

I JUST THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T
LEAVE IT LYING AROUND UNREAD...

IF YOU BROUGHT IT TO THEM.

AFTER ALL, YOU'RE A TV
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.

YEAH, BUT, PHYLLIS, I DON'T KNOW
ANYONE AT SNIDER PUBLISHING.

WELL, SURELY SOMEBODY IN YOUR
OFFICE KNOWS SOMEBODY DOWN THERE...

TO GIVE THEM THIS...

NOT THAT I KNOW OF. ONLY MR. GRANT.
I THINK HE KNOWS MR. SNIDER BUT...

- WELL, THEN, MARY...
- OH, NO.

I AM NOT GOING TO ASK MY BOSS TO TAKE
A HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT OF A LITTLE GIRL,

A VERY NICE, LITTLE GIRL, IN...

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE
RIGHT. I AM IMPOSING.

I-I JUST THOUGHT THAT...

OH, IT'S SO HARD TO EXPLAIN TO
PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T REPRODUCED.

WHY DO I SAY THINGS LIKE THAT?

NO ONE KNOWS.

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE BEFORE I
ALIENATE EVERYBODY COMPLETELY.

OH, PHYLLIS, COME ON. YOU'RE
NOT ALIENATING EVERYBODY.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, MARY.

PHYLLIS, WAIT. COME
ON. GIVE ME THE PAPER. I

DON'T KNOW. MAYBE
THERE'S SOMETHING I CAN DO.

OH, MARY. YOU'RE
JUST SO... MARY, MARY.

WELL, LET'S JUST WAIT AND
SEE HOW... MARY I AM, OKAY?

OF COURSE. I KNOW YOU'LL DO THE
RIGHT THING, SAY THE RIGHT WORDS,

AND, UH, ANY SMALL ADVANCE IS PERFECTLY
ACCEPTABLE, WHATEVER THE GOING RATE IS.

GOD BLESS YOU, MARY.

YOU KNOW, MAR, IT'S A JOY
WATCHING YOU STAND UP TO PHYLLIS.

OH, COME ON, RHODA. SO SHE ASKED
ME TO DO A LITTLE FAVOR? [ Knocking ]

OH, MARY. I... JUST A
THOUGHT. MAYBE YOU SHOULD

TYPE IT UP SO IT'LL LOOK
MORE PROFESSIONAL?

GOD BLESS YOU, MARY.

MURRAY, DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO
WORKS DOWNSTAIRS AT SNIDER PUBLISHING?

THE SAME PEOPLE WHO CLEAN THIS
OFFICE EVERY NIGHT CLEAN THOSE OFFICES...

I THINK THE GUY'S NAME
IS SMITTY. THANKS ANYWAY.

I KNOW SOMEBODY
DOWN THERE. OH? WHO?

SECRETARY TO THE BIG BOSS.

CHERYL WESTON. WE WENT
OUT QUITE A BIT TOGETHER.

WAIT A MINUTE. WESTON, WESTON,
WESTON... CAN'T SEEM TO FIND HER.

MAYBE SHE'S IN THE YELLOW PAGES?

OH, HERE SHE IS
UNDER "SECRETARY."

WOULD YOU MIND IF I CALLED HER? I'VE
GOT SOMETHING HERE TO SUBMIT TO SNIDER.

NOT AT ALL. THIS IS HER PRIVATE
OFFICE NUMBER. YOU MAY USE MY NAME.

OH, NO, THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY.

IT'S JUST NICE TO KNOW HER
NAME TO SORT OF BREAK THE ICE.

THANKS.

HELLO, MISS WESTON?

WELL, HI, UH, I'M MARY RICHARDS, YOUR
NEIGHBOR FROM UPSTAIRS AT WJM-TV.

[ Laughs ]

WELL, EVERY DAY I JUST, UH, ZIP RIGHT
PAST YOUR FLOOR ON THE ELEVATOR,

AND I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU...

MARY RICHARDS. RIGHT.

WELL, UH, MISS WESTON, I HAVE
A REALLY CUTE ARTICLE HERE...

THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE
JUST GREAT FOR TEEN TOPICS.

AND I WAS WONDERING IF... WELL,
YEAH, I KNOW I COULD MAIL IT IN...

WELL, UH, PERHAPS I SHOULD
SPEAK TO MR. SNIDER THEN.

UH, LET ME HANDLE THIS.
UH, JUST A MOMENT, PLEASE.

CHERYL, THIS IS TED BAXTER.
I'D JUST LIKE YOU TO KNOW...

THE YOUNG LADY YOU'RE TALKING
TO IS A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE...

[ Phone Clicks ] HELLO?

HELLO?

OH...

I SHOULD'VE READ THIS NOTE
BESIDE HER NAME. WHAT'S IT SAY?

NEVER MIND.

SORRY, MAR.

YOU THINK I COULD GET
MR. GRANT TO READ THIS?

HE MIGHT JUST LIKE
IT AND SAY TO HIMSELF,

"HEY, I THINK I'LL TODDLE ON DOWN TO
SEE MY PAL, HANK SNIDER, WITH THIS."

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S GONNA
BE TOUGH TO GET HIM TO READ IT.

AND TOUGHER TO
GET HIM TO TODDLE.

MORNING. ANYTHING VITAL
FOR ME TO READ TODAY?

THANK YOU.

WORKED OUT RATHER
NICELY, DIDN'T IT?

ONCE IN A WHILE, THINGS
JUST FALL RIGHT INTO YOUR LAP.

[ Clears Throat ]

I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO
WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE

FOR THIS PIECE OF PAPER,
WHICH I HOLD IN MY HAND.

UH, THA-THAT WOULD BE ME.

I JUST THOUGHT THAT IF
YOU HAD IT IN YOUR HAND,

IT MIGHT OCCUR
TO YOU TO READ IT.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DID READ IT.
NOW, WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?

WELL, HOW DID YOU
LIKE IT, BY THE WAY?

YOU DIDN'T WRITE THIS, DID
YOU? NO, I JUST TYPED IT UP.

GOOD. IT STINKS. MR. GRANT...

IT WAS WRITTEN BY
A 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL.

OH, IN THAT CASE,
IT'S EXCELLENT.

YOU THINK SO? IT'S PHYLLIS'S
DAUGHTER'S ENGLISH COMPOSITION.

YOU WANT ME TO PUT HER ON THE NEWS STAFF?
YOU FIGURED SHE'D WRITE WELL FOR TED?

NO, MR. GRANT... I JUST THOUGHT THAT IF YOU
LIKED IT, IT MIGHT POP INTO YOUR HEAD...

TO TAKE IT DOWN TO
YOUR FRIEND, HANK SNIDER,

DOWN AT, UH,
SNIDER, UH... PUBL...

BUT I CAN, UH, SEE IT DIDN'T
POP INTO YOUR HEAD TO DO THAT...

AS I RECALL, THIS IS TWO
PARAGRAPHS. WOULDN'T

THAT MAKE A RATHER
BRIEF MAGAZINE ARTICLE?

UH, WELL... FUNNY, IT DIDN'T
LOOK SO BRIEF IN LONGHAND.

MARY... HANK SNIDER...
OWES ME A FAVOR.

WELL, PERFECT. NOT PERFECT.

FIVE YEARS AGO, I STARTED
WORKING ON A NOVEL.

YOU DID? UH-HUH. RIGHT
NOW, IT'S ABOUT THIS THICK.

WHEN IT'S THIS THICK, I'M GONNA BARGE
INTO HANK'S OFFICE, BIG AS LIFE, AND SAY,

"THIS IS IT, HANK. PUBLISH IT."

NOW, MARY, YOU CAN'T EXPECT
ME TO USE UP A FAVOR THIS THICK...

FOR ONE THIS THIN?

NO, I-I DON'T. FORGET IT.

I JUST DID. GOOD.

I THINK I'VE DONE
EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD

HAVE DONE. I HAVE TYPED
UP THE COMPOSITION,

GROVELED AT THE FEET
OF MR. SNIDER'S SECRETARY,

MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF
IN FRONT OF MR. GRANT.

WHAT MORE COULD I HAVE DONE?

YOU DID EVERYTHING ANYBODY
COULD EXPECT, MARY, AND MORE.

RIGHT. SO WHY IS IT THAT PHYLLIS IS GONNA
MAKE ME FEEL I HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH?

PHYLLIS, I TRIED, BUT MR. GRANT JUST
WASN'T AS ENTHUSIASTIC AS WE WERE.

WHY NOT? DIDN'T HE
SEE THE GRADE ON IT?

WELL, NO, PHYL, YOU HAD
ME TYPE IT, REMEMBER?

OH. WELL, WHY DIDN'T HE
THINK IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH?

NO, HE DIDN'T SAY IT
WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.

UH, WELL, HE SAID THAT...
IT WAS A LITTLE SHORT.

YES, HE'S RIGHT. IT IS SHORT.

YOU TELL HIM THAT BESS HASN'T BEGUN TO
EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES OF HER THEME.

NO, UH, PHYLLIS. THE THING IS...
HANK SNIDER OWES MR. GRANT A FAVOR.

MR. GRANT WANTS TO USE THE FAVOR
TO GET A BOOK PUBLISHED. A BOOK?

YEAH. PHYLLIS? LARS
TOLD ME TO COME UP...

- AND DROP A HINT
FOR YOU TO MAKE DINNER.
- TELL HIM I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

OKAY. I OFFERED TO MAKE HIM
SOMETHIN', BUT HE DOESN'T LIKE JELLY.

WELL, THEN GIVE HIM THE REST OF THIS
BANANA AND TELL HIM I'LL BE RIGHT ALONG.

OH, BESS? YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE COMPOSITION,
UH, ABOUT COPING WITH PARENTS...

THAT MISS DELGATO GAVE
YOU THAT BIG, RED "A" ON?

SURE.

MARY HAS TAKEN A
GREAT INTEREST IN IT.

SHE AND HER EMPLOYER
THINK THAT IT CAN BE A BOOK.

PHYLLIS! I DID NOT SAY...

A BOOK? WELL, IT-IT...

THEY FEEL IT NEEDS A TRIFLE
MORE PADDING, A FEW CHAPTERS...

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN
WRITE A WHOLE BOOK.

ALL WE DO IS ELABORATE ON THE THEME
THAT PARENTS HAVE A LOT TO COPE WITH.

THE THEME WAS THAT KIDS
HAVE A LOT TO COPE WITH.

WELL, WHATEVER... PHYLLIS,
WILL YOU JUST HOLD ON A MINUTE?

HI, SWEETIE. HI, AUNT RHODA.

PHYLLIS, I DID NOT SAY I
COULD GET A BOOK PUBLISHED.

I DOUBT IF I... IN
FACT, I'M SURE I CAN'T.

WE'LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE COME TO IT.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS FOR BESS TO DO IT.

BYE. GOOD-BYE.

WELL, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN
STANDING UP TO PHYLLIS AGAIN.

OH, WELL, THEY'LL
NEVER FINISH IT. I MEAN...

A BOOK. IT'S A BOOK.
IT'S LONG. IT'S THICK.

IT'S GOT SMALL PRINT ON
BOTH SIDES OF THE PAGES.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PHYLLIS
HERE. BEFORE THIS THING IS FINISHED,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE OUT THERE IN HOLLYWOOD
SELLING THE RIGHTS TO THE SCREENPLAY.

AND TYPING IT. YEAH.

4:15, TAKE OTHER
TEN-SECOND COMMERCIAL...

[ Knocking ] GO AWAY!

I'M ONLY STICKING MY HEAD IN LONG
ENOUGH TO TELL YOU I'M LEAVING.

OH, RHODA, NO.
THAT'S OKAY. STAY.

IT'S JUST PHYLLIS. SHE IS
DRIVING ME CRAZY WITH THAT BOOK.

YOU KNOW SHE CALLED ME SEVEN
TIMES AT THE OFFICE YESTERDAY?

I COULDN'T GET ANY WORK DONE. I HAD TO
BRING IT HOME AND DO IT ON THE WEEKEND.

YOU GET TOUGH. LOOK AT ME.

DO YOU THINK PHYLLIS WOULD EVER
DARE ASK ME FOR A FAVOR? NEVER.

SHE RESPECTS ME TOO MUCH. IN FACT, UH, SHE
RESPECTS ME SO MUCH, SHE CAN'T STAND ME.

[ Phone Ringing ] OH!

HELLO. OH, HIYA, BESS.

WELL, HONEY, I'LL TELL YOU, I...
OKAY, JUST ONE SENTENCE THEN.

WELL, THAT'S KINDA CUTE, YEAH.

WELL, IT'S CLEAR TO ME.

WELL, NO, I'M SORRY, BESS. I
CAN'T COME DOWN, DEAR. I...

PHYLLIS, WILL YOU GET
OFF THE EXTENSION?

I JUST TOLD BESS AND I TOLD YOU
BEFORE. I CANNOT COME DOWN. I AM BUSY.

I'LL TALK TO YOU
LATER. GOOD-BYE.

THERE. I TOLD HER NO.

NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

NOT REALLY. POOR BESS. SHE
HAD A CUTE IDEA TO BEGIN WITH...

[ Phone Ringing ]
I'LL HANDLE HER.

NO, NO! NO.

THAT DOES IT. I WANT YOU TO
WATCH THIS FOR BEING FIRM.

HELLO? NO, PHYLLIS, I CANNOT KEEP
PICKING UP THIS PHONE EVERY FIVE SECONDS.

WILL THAT DO IT?

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

I WANT YOU TO WATCH HOW FIRMLY
I AM WALKING DOWN TO PHYLLIS'S.

BESS, ARE YOU, UH, THINKING,

OR ARE YOU STARING AT YOUR FISH?

BOTH. I WISH I COULD REACH THEM,

SO I COULD MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND I'M
KEEPING THEM IN THERE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD.

I-I-I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU, DEAR.

WELL, I'D LIKE TO SET THEM FREE.

BUT IF I PUT THEM IN A LAKE OR
RIVER, THE POLLUTION WOULD KILL THEM,

SO THEY'RE BETTER OFF HERE
IN RELATIVELY CLEAN TAP WATER.

THEY PROBABLY HATE ME BECAUSE
THEY THINK I'M KEEPING THEM PRISONER.

FISH DON'T HATE, DEAR.

HI. OH, MARY.

HI, AUNT MARY. WHAT, UH,
SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

WELL, UH, EVERYTHING WAS JUST
FINE, AND THEN WE HIT A LITTLE SNAG.

OH, HOW FAR DID YOU GET?

OH, WELL, ACTUALLY, WE
HAD A LITTLE DISAGREEMENT

OVER HOW THE
DEDICATION SHOULD READ.

THE DEDICA... YOU MEAN
YOU'VE FINISHED ALREADY?

OH, NO, NO. WE HAVEN'T
GOTTEN PAST THE DEDICATION.

NOW I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST. I'M NOT GOING
TO TELL YOU WHICH ONE OF US DID WHICH.

"TO CHARLIE BROWN, SNOOPY,
LINUS AND ESPECIALLY LUCY."

OR... "TO DEDICATED
PARENTS EVERYWHERE."

UH, I THINK I LIKE THE ONE
ABOUT CHARLIE BROWN.

MARY, COULD I SPEAK
TO YOU, PLEASE?

IS IT ALL RIGHT IF I
TAKE A LITTLE BREAK?

A BREAK? THIS ISN'T WORK,
BESS. A BREAK FROM FUN?

BESS? SWEETHEART, AREN'T
YOU ENJOYING WRITING THIS BOOK?

SURE I AM. IT'S FUN.
REALLY IT IS. I JUST FELT

I NEEDED A BREAK WHILE
YOU TWO ARE TALKING.

OH, WELL, GO AHEAD. TAKE
YOUR LITTLE BREAK, DEAR.

WHILE SHE'S TAKING HER LITTLE BREAK,
I'LL JUST ROUGH IN THE FIRST FEW CHAPTERS.

I KNOW HOW HER MIND WORKS.

UM, SO, MARY... IF
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE?

NO, NO. NO, PHYLLIS.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE, UH, BARGED IN
AND INTERRUPTED THE WAY I DID. SORRY.

"IN SUMMARY, COUNCILMAN
CARTER HAS THIS TO SAY,

'WE MUST TAKE ACTION SOON AGAINST
THE APPEALING WIRE-TAPPING POLICIES.'"

THAT'S "APPALLING."

OH. "AGAINST THE... APPALLING
WIRE-TAPPING POLICIES."

OH, I SEE, THEN I DISAPPROVE. I'D
BETTER FROWN INSTEAD OF SMILE.

HI.

OH, HIYA BESS. HOW ARE YOU?
FINE. HOW ARE YOU, MR. SLAUGHTER?

WELL, I GUESS I'M FINE
TOO. UH, CAN I HELP YOU?

WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE
MARY. IS SHE HERE?

WELL, SHE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. WHY
DON'T YOU SIT OVER HERE AT HER DESK?

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE A WRITER, AREN'T YOU?

UH-HUH, IN A WAY... UH, I WRITE
FOR TED BAXTER ON THE 6:00 NEWS.

I GUESS THAT MAKES
ME A COMEDY WRITER.

- I'M KIND OF A WRITER TOO.
- OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY LIKED YOUR
LITTLE STORY ABOUT PARENTS.

THANK YOU. DO YOU
ENJOY... WRITING?

OH. WELL, NOW LET'S SEE... I
ENJOY GETTING PAID FOR MY WRITING.

I ENJOY FINISHING MY WRITING.
I ENJOY READING MY WRITING.

I DON'T THINK I REALLY ENJOY THE
WRITING PART OF MY WRITING. [ Laughs ]

I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY HELLO.

WELL, HOW NICE. UH, DOES
PHYLLIS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?

WELL, NO... I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE ON A BOTANY FIELD TRIP.

BUT THEY CALLED IT OFF 'CAUSE IT'S
A BAD DAY FOR OUTDOOR BREATHING.

AND ANN SHAW HAD TO GO TO THE
ORTHODONTIST FOUR BLOCKS FROM HERE.

- I ASKED HER MOTHER
TO DROP ME OFF.
- OH.

AUNT MARY, COULD I TALK TO YOU?

WELL, SURE. UM, UH,
WHY DON'T WE, UH...

WE'LL USE MR. GRANT'S
OFFICE. IT'S MORE PRIVATE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UH, SIT DOWN AND,
UH, I'LL DROP THESE OFF AND BE RIGHT BACK.

HI.

I KNOW YOU, DON'T I? YEAH!

YOU'RE NOT ONE OF MY
GRANDCHILDREN, ARE YA?

[ Laughs ] NO.

OH, UH, MR. GRANT.
I'M SORRY, BUT, UH...

WE HAD TO USE YOUR OFFICE.

UH, BELIEVE ME,
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

IMPORTANT? VERY.

I UNDERSTAND.

SO, UH, WHAT'D YOU WANT TO
TALK ABOUT? IT'S ABOUT THE BOOK.

- OH, YEAH, HOW'S IT COMING?
- I WISH WE WEREN'T DOING IT.

WELL, BESS, THE OTHER DAY YOU
SAID YOU WERE ENJOYING DOING IT.

WELL, I WAS. I WANTED TO DO IT FOR
PHYLLIS. I WANT HER TO BE PROUD OF ME.

OH, HONEY, SHE IS PROUD OF YOU.

I'D DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING FOR HER.
AND SINCE SHE WANTED A BOOK SO BAD...

WELL, I FIGURED I'D TRY AND WRITE
A BOOK, BUT, AUNT MARY, I'M ONLY 12.

NOT FINISHED YET?

UH, NO.

I UNDERSTAND.

SO, MURRAY, HOW'S TRICKS?

FINE. FINE. TRICKS ARE FINE.

HIYA, LOU. SAM. RIGHT ON TIME.

LOU GRANT, THIS IS MR. MITCHELL
FROM UNIVERSAL MILLS.

MR. MITCHELL.
WELL, THEY TELL ME...

YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO SINK
HALF OUR BUDGET INTO YOUR NEWS PROGRAM.

THAT'S RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE
JUST GO INTO YOUR OFFICE?

UH, WELL, SAM, UNFORTUNATELY
IT'S OCCUPIED MOMENTARILY.

WHY DON'T WE JUST
SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE?

MURRAY, CAN I HAVE
YOUR CHAIR? SURE, LOU.

WELL, BESS, I THINK WE BOTH KNOW
THAT THE REASON PHYLLIS IS SO INVOLVED...

IN WRITING THIS BOOK
IS BECAUSE OF YOU.

- SHE LOVES YOU.
- I KNOW.

AND I LOVE HER. THAT'S
WHY I DON'T WANT TO QUIT

WRITING THE BOOK. SHE'S
ENJOYING IT SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW, FOR A PERSON WITH
PHYLLIS'S INTELLIGENCE AND CREATIVITY,

BEING JUST A PLAIN HOUSEWIFE
CAN GET PRETTY HUMDRUM.

YEAH, WELL, I THINK IF...

IF YOU TELL HER THAT YOU
DON'T WANT TO WRITE THE BOOK,

SHE'LL JUST BOUNCE RIGHT INTO SOME OTHER
ACTIVITY THAT WON'T BE SO HARD ON YOU.

- SHE IS PRETTY RESILIENT.
- YEAH.

WELL, WILL YOU TELL HER
THEN? WELL, BESS, SWEETIE, I...

I COULD, BUT, UM, DON'T YOU THINK IT
WOULD BE BETTER COMING FROM YOU?

WELL, MAYBE WE COULD
TELL HER TOGETHER? OKAY.

OH, GOOD.

BECAUSE WHEN WE'RE ALONE, PHYLLIS
HAS THIS TENDENCY TO REWRITE ME.

[ Door Closes ] BESS,
IS THAT YOU, DEAR?

I'M IN HERE. NOSE TO GRINDSTONE.

I WROTE A WHOLE CHAPTER FOR YOU
TODAY, BUT SEE IF THIS SOUNDS LIKE YOU.

PHYLLIS, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
AUNT MARY BROUGHT ME HOME.

- OH, MARY.
- HI.

GOSH, I SURE COULD
USE A COOKIE. EXCUSE ME.

MARY, HOW NICE.
COME AND SIT DOWN.

TELL ME ALL ABOUT
THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

YOU KNOW, IT'S TRUE.
WRITING IS LONELY.

UH, PHYLLIS, BESS
ASKED ME TO TALK TO YOU.

- WHEN?
- WELL, SHE CAME
TO SEE ME TODAY.

OH, TO YOUR OFFICE?

YEAH. UH-HUH.

UH, PHYLLIS, UM...

WELL, I GUESS THE BEST THING TO DO
IS JUST TO COME OUT AND SAY THAT...

BESS DOESN'T WANT TO
WORK ON THE BOOK ANYMORE.

- WELL, FINE. WE WON'T
WORK ON THE BOOK.
- YOU'RE NOT UPSET?

THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO WORK ON THE BOOK? YEAH.

NO. I JUST WISH SHE... COULD
HAVE TOLD ME HERSELF.

SEE, THE THING IS... SHE WAS AFRAID
THAT YOU'D BE DISAPPOINTED IN HER.

DISAPPOINTED? OH,
MARY, BUT THAT'S SILLY.

SHE KNOWS I'VE ALWAYS TOLD
HER I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR HER.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I SAID TO HER TOO.

IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WRITE,
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO WRITE. BESS?

I JUST KNEW YOU'D FEEL THAT
WAY. OF COURSE. THAT'S IT.

YES, PHYLLIS? BESS DEAR...

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
WRITE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

I JUST PUT THE BOOK AWAY, AND
WE WON'T TALK MORE ABOUT IT.

OH, GOOD! OH, BESS.

WELL, CAN I DO MY HOMEWORK NOW?

OF COURSE.

YOU CAN'T PUSH A CHILD TO DO
SOMETHING SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT, MARY.

I'LL, UH... I'LL TRY.

BESS, WHAT'S THAT,
DEAR? IT'S NOTHING.

MAY I SEE IT? IT'S JUST A PAINTING
I DID IN MISS BREWER'S CLASS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW THIS TO ME?

I FORGOT. LOOK AT THIS, MARY.

OH, BESS, THAT'S
REALLY TERRIFIC.

YOU KNOW, I... I BOUGHT A POSTER LAST
WEEK THAT WASN'T HALF AS GOOD AS THIS.

I MEAN, THE COLORS, IT...

YOU KNOW, BESS, IF YOU WANTED TO, I
BET YOU COULD EVEN SELL THESE THINGS.

I MEAN, IF YOU REALLY, YOU
KNOW, WANTED... TO, UH...

[ Both Laughing ]

YOU SEE HOW HARD IT IS? AND
YOU'RE NOT EVEN HER MOTHER.

YEAH.

THERE IT IS. IT
CERTAINLY IS. WHAT IS IT?

MY BOOK. AND I WANT
TO THANK YOU, MARY.

I HADN'T WORKED ON IT FOR A
WHILE, BUT YOU REMINDED ME.

SO I WENT HOME THIS
WEEKEND, AND I... FINISHED IT.

OH, HEY, TERRIFIC. YEAH.

EDIE READ IT LAST NIGHT. SHE
WAS REALLY CAUGHT UP IN IT...

UNTIL SHE FELL ASLEEP.

LISTEN, GET HANK SNIDER FOR ME. I
WANT TO COLLECT ON THAT FAVOR.

OH, SURE.

BY THE WAY, MR. GRANT,
WHAT WAS THAT FAVOR ANYWAY?

OLD HANK WASN'T ALWAYS
A BIG PUBLISHING TYCOON.

HE USED TO OWN A CRUMMY, LITTLE
BAR AND GRILL. WELL, A FEW YEARS AGO,

I DID SOMETHING THAT FINANCED THE
START OF HIS WHOLE PUBLISHING EMPIRE.

WOW. WHAT WAS THAT?

I PAID MY BAR TAB.

[ Mews ]