Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 12 - Is a Friend in Need - full transcript

Rhoda is currently unemployed, she being not too clear to Mary and Phyllis whether she quit (she stating differences in opinion with her boss as the reason for quitting) or was fired from her window dressing job at Bloomfield's department store. Regardless, she is in a bit of a funk being unemployed and worries about having no income coming in. But in especially Phyllis' perspective, Rhoda doesn't seem to be working too hard at finding another job, even an unskilled labor job that would at least pay the bills. Rhoda instead seems content to collect unemployment insurance, sit on Mary's couch and watch television all day long. So when Mary and eventually Rhoda learn that there is an associate art director job open at the station, Mary isn't sure why she lies to Rhoda in telling her that the job is already filled, but she does know that she feels guilty about lying to her best friend, one in need of what that job may have provided both monetarily and in self esteem in being employed once again. Will Mary's guilt get the better of her and if she does confess to Rhoda, what will Rhoda's reaction be?

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♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

SO, PAUL ASKED ME OUT AGAIN,

AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER WHETHER HE
ASKED ME OUT FOR FRIDAY OR SATURDAY.



SO I CALLED HIM BACK AND
SAID, "PAUL, I CAN'T REMEMBER."

HE SAID HE COULDN'T
REMEMBER EITHER.

SO WE'RE GOING OUT FRIDAY
AND SATURDAY. UH-HUH.

ISN'T THAT FUNNY? YEAH.

WELL, I-I THOUGHT
IT WAS KIND OF CUTE.

SO DO I. THIS IS THE
WAY I DISPLAY MIRTH...

WHEN I'M MISERABLE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

NOTHING, REALLY.

JUST OUT OF A JOB,
THAT'S ALL. OH, RHODA, NO!

HI. HIYA, LOU.

GOOD. YOU'RE BACK FROM LUNCH.

LISTEN, WILL YA GET THAT
STUFF ON THE POSTAL REFORM?

I WANT TO GO OVER IT WITH YOU.



MR. GRANT, I'M NOT REALLY BACK FROM
LUNCH. I STILL HAVE THREE MINUTES.

MARY, YOU'RE AN EXECUTIVE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUNCH A
CLOCK. YOU CAN COME BACK EARLY.

WELL, UH, FOR TODAY, COULD
I JUST COME BACK ON TIME?

OKAY, BUT YOU
BETTER NOT BE LATE.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN? WE
CAN TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.

I DON'T WANNA GET YOU IN TROUBLE.
YOU STILL HAVE A JOB EVEN IF I DON'T.

YOU WEREN'T FIRED, WERE YOU?

FIRED? WHO GOT FIRED?

OH. COME ON, MAR. WHO WAS IT?

OH, NOBODY, TED. REALLY, NOBODY.

IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT?

I WASN'T FIRED. I
QUIT. WHAT DO YOU DO?

WELL, I WAS A WINDOW DRESSER.

DID YOU HAPPEN TO WATCH
MY SHOW LAST NIGHT?

SYMPATHETIC, ISN'T HE?

I MENTIONED IT BECAUSE I DID A SPECIAL
REPORT ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT CRISIS.

IT'S AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH THIS
YEAR, YOU KNOW? THANKS. I HEARD.

OR IS IT LOW?

"HIGH," TED. HI, MURR.

ANYWAY, I ASKED YOU... GOOD.

NOW THAT I HAVE YOU ALL TOGETHER,
COULD I GET YOU ALL TO MOVE APART?

MARY, YOU'RE LATE.

ALL OVER THE WORLD. YES, SIR.

PLEASE, GET BACK TO
WORK. I-I'M GOING TO BE FINE.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU AS SOON
AS I GET HOME TONIGHT, OKAY?

SURE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED A FREE AFTERNOON. NOW, I'VE GOT ONE.

- WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
- WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT, UH...

ONE O'CLOCK? I THINK
I'LL TAKE A LITTLE WALK.

GET MY MIND OFF NOT
HAVING A JOB. GOOD.

MAYBE DO SOME WINDOW
SHOPPING... NO. WRONG.

YEAH.

I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE A
BUS HOME... AND WORRY.

BYE.

YOU'RE GETTING TO BE A
VERY NICE LITTLE COOK, MARY.

THANK YOU, PHYLLIS. NEW RECIPE.

WELL, ANYTIME YOU WANT TO
PROGRESS TO GOURMET THINGS,

I HAVE SOME, UH, LOVELY RECIPES.

ANYONE CAN DO THEM. EVEN ME?

OH, SURE. EVEN MY LITTLE BESS MADE THE MOST
DELICIOUS BEEF STROGANOFF THE OTHER DAY.

WHICH ISN'T EASY ON A TOY STOVE.

WHERE'S LARS TONIGHT?

HE'S HAVING DINNER WITH
A BUNCH OF EXECUTIVES

FROM THE CHAPMAN
CHOCOLATE COMPANY.

THEY WANT HIM TO ACCEPT
AN ADVISORY POSITION.

WHY WOULD A CHOCOLATE
COMPANY HIRE A DERMATOLOGIST?

NEVER MIND. I JUST
FIGURED IT OUT.

SO, ANYWAY, I THOUGHT
I WOULD STAY HOME...

AND SEE HOW YOU SWINGIN'
SINGLES FILL YOUR HOURS.

OH, PHYLLIS, WE DO
THE SAME THING YOU DO.

WE USUALLY SIT AROUND AND WONDER WHAT
IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE.

WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME
COFFEE? YES, I WOULD.

MARY, I'LL HELP YOU WITH THE
DISHES, KID, AFTER PHYLLIS LEAVES.

OH, TO BE ABLE TO EXPRESS YOUR HOSTILITY
SO OPENLY, RHODA. I ADMIRE YOU FOR THAT.

WELL, IT'S JUST THAT TODAY AT THE OFFICE,
RHODA AND I GOT INTO A PERSONAL DISCUSSION.

WE COULDN'T FINISH IT BECAUSE THERE
WERE ALL THESE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND...

[ Rhoda ] BUTTING IN...

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I REALIZE YOU TWO HAVE
SO MUCH MORE IN COMMON...

YOUR BOTH BEING
HUSBAND-LESS AND ALL.

I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN
WE WERE "SWINGIN' SINGLES."

RHODA DEAR, WHEN BESS HAS BEEN
HURT BY SOME OF HER LITTLE FRIENDS,

I ALWAYS TELL HER,

"IT'S NATURAL WHEN THERE ARE THREE IN
A RELATIONSHIP, THAT ONE GETS LEFT OUT."

ALL RIGHT, THEN STAY.

SO, JUST START THE
STORY WHERE YOU LEFT OFF.

I'LL PICK UP ON IT.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

- HOW DID WHAT HAPPEN?
- YOU'LL PICK UP ON IT.

YOU KNOW HOW I'VE BEEN
UNHAPPY THERE FOR A LONG TIME.

WHERE? AT HER
JOB AT BLOOMFIELD'S.

YOU'VE BEEN FIRED!
IT SO HAPPENS I QUIT.

WHAT ARE YOU SMILING FOR?

OH. JUST TRYING TO CHEER YOU UP.

SO, WHY WERE YOU FIRED? PHYLLIS!

SO, WHY DID YOU QUIT?

WELL, THEY'VE ALWAYS
BEEN SO CHINTZY, MAR.

I'VE NEVER HAD ENOUGH TIME OR
MATERIALS TO DO MY WINDOWS RIGHT.

IT'S ALWAYS MAKE DO. REMEMBER
THAT TROUBLE I HAD LAST SPRING?

OH, YEAH, I DO. SOMETHING ABOUT THE EASTER
DISPLAY AND YOU WANTED TO BUY A BIG BUNNY?

YEAH, AND THEY TOLD
ME TO USE THE KANGAROO.

THE KANGAROO?

YEAH, IT WAS LEFT OVER FROM
A DISPLAY SALUTING AUSTRALIA.

THEIR THINKING WAS... ARE
YOU READY FOR THIS ONE, FOLKS?

"WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
THEY BOTH HOP."

I'M A CREATIVE PERSON. I CANNOT
DO CORNY, OLD-FASHIONED WINDOWS...

WITH FLOWERED SWINGS, FAKE
BIRDS AND DAISIES, RIBBONS...

OOH, I LOVE THOSE!

ANYWAY, TWO OTHER
GIRLS IN THE DEPARTMENT...

GOT BONUSES ON THEIR
CHECKS THIS WEEK...

AND YOU DIDN'T?

AND I DIDN'T.

SO? SO! I WENT IN TO
WERBER AND I SAID,

"MR. WERBER, IF I WERE A
SENSITIVE-TYPE PERSON,

I'D THINK YOU WERE TRYING
TO TELL ME SOMETHING."

- WHAT'D HE SAY?
- HE CONGRATULATED ME
ON MY SENSITIVITY.

SO, WHAT COULD I DO? I QUIT.

LISTEN, YOU WON'T FIND ANY TROUBLE GETTING
A NEW JOB. YOU'RE TOO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO.

THANKS, MAR.

I HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE,

YEARS AND YEARS AGO,
RIGHT AFTER COLLEGE.

WELL, ACTUALLY IT WASN'T YEARS.

SHE'S GOT AN ANECDOTE
FOR EVERY OCCASION.

I MADE UP MY MIND THAT I WAS
GOING TO FIND A REALLY SPECIAL JOB.

AND I POUNDED THE PAVEMENTS.

AND FINALLY, I CAME UP WITH
SOMETHING THAT PAID $24,000 A YEAR.

WHAT?

LARS!

TOO BAD YOU
COULDN'T GET IT IN CASH.

[ Woman On TV ] OUR
NEIGHBORS ARE JEALOUS...

HI. HI.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. MY TELEVISION
WAS ACTING FUNNY, AND IT FINALLY DIED.

OH. I CAN'T AFFORD
TO GET IT FIXED NOW.

SO, I JUST CAME DOWN HERE AND WAS
WATCHING SOME DAYTIME PROGRAMS.

DAYTIME? IT'S 7:30.

REALLY? I WAS WONDERING WHAT WALTER
CRONKITE WAS DOING ON A SOAP OPERA.

IT'S FANTASTIC HOW QUICKLY YOU
CATCH UP ON THESE SOAP OPERAS.

OKAY.

LAST TIME I SAW DAWN OF DAY WAS
WHEN I HAD THE FLU, FIVE YEARS AGO.

TODAY I TURNED IT ON...
SHE'S STILL HAVING THAT BABY.

SO, UH, HOW'D THE
JOB HUNTING GO?

YOU KNOW, TODAY,
RUTH ELIZABETH...

SHE MEETS THIS GUY NAMED GUY,
WHO THEY TELL HER IS HER FIANCÉ.

- SHE HAS AMNESIA, YOU KNOW?
- NO, I DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT.

NEITHER DOES SHE.

SO, UH, DID YOU LOOK FOR A JOB?

SORT OF. YOU KNOW, YOU START OUT
WATCHING THESE SHOWS FOR LAUGHS.

THEN YOU FIND YOURSELF GETTING
REALLY HOOKED. AND THE GAME SHOWS...

BUT, UH, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ANY INTERVIEWS OR ANYTHING?

WHO HAD TIME?

I CLEANED THE APARTMENT, WASHED MY HAIR,
DID SOME LAUNDRY, AND THE DAY WAS SHOT.

WELL, YOU OUGHT TO GET OUT AND
LOOK, THOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?

I MEAN, IF ONLY
FOR THE FRESH AIR?

I DID GET OUT TODAY. I SIGNED
UP FOR UNEMPLOYMENT. OH, YEAH?

I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T
COLLECT UNEMPLOYMENT

IF YOU QUIT. I THOUGHT
YOU HAD TO BE FIRED.

OH, WELL, UH, WERBER
CLAIMS HE FIRED ME.

OH.

WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?
AT LEAST YOU GET THE MONEY, RIGHT?

RIGHT. $57 A WEEK. NOT EXACTLY
DIAMONDS AND MINK TIME, BUT IT HELPS.

OH, RHODA, YOU'RE HERE.

I WAS WORRIED. I KNOCKED ON YOUR
DOOR, BUT THERE WAS NO ANSWER.

BUT I DIDN'T SMELL GAS, SO...

THANKS FOR KEEPING
A NOSE ON ME, PHYLLIS.

ISN'T SHE A WONDER? THE WAY
SHE KEEPS HER SENSE OF HUMOR...

AT A TIME LIKE THIS...

IT'S NOT SUCH A TERRIBLE TIME.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I WENT THROUGH THIS MORNING'S
PAPER, AND I CIRCLED IN RED...

THE JOBS THAT I THINK YOU
MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE AT GETTING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

SO WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU, MARY?

OH, UH, NOT MUCH.

- OH, KEYPUNCH OPERATOR.
- KEYPUNCH OPERATOR?

NOT ONLY DON'T I KNOW HOW TO BE
ONE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS.

EH, IT'S FUNNY, BUT YOU
ALWAYS SEE ADS FOR THEM.

THERE MUST BE A
SHORTAGE OF THEM.

YOU SHOULD LOOK INTO IT. I MEAN,
AT LEAST IT WOULD GIVE YOU A SKILL.

"GIRLS: EARN UP TO $250 A
WEEK, NO EXPERIENCE NESC."

WOW. "CALL MR. EDWIN EDDY CLARK,
ELTON HOTEL, SUITE 202. DAY OR NIGHT.

OR, SEND FULL-FIGURE SNAP."

OH, PHYLLIS...

WHAT? IT NEVER HURTS TO
EXPLORE ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.

THANKS, PHYLLIS, BUT I'M NOT READY
TO EXPLORE THOSE POSSIBILITIES YET.

ALL RIGHT. HOW
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE...

A COMMERCIAL ARTIST?

WELL, YEAH...

WHERE WAS THAT? I ALWAYS
TO BE A COMMERCIAL ARTIST.

THEN DRAW THIS GIRL.

OH, PHYLLIS!

THE TIME HAS NOT ARRIVED WHEN
I GET MY JOBS OFF MATCHBOOKS.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY,

BUT IT HAS BEEN
WELL OVER A WEEK...

OH, BOY, THAT PHYLLIS. SHE
REALLY PICKS A PERSON UP.

HEY, I KNOW WHAT.

LET'S CHANGE OUR CLOTHES AND
GO OUT TO DINNER AND A MOVIE, HUH?

OKAY, BUT I CAN'T AFFORD
TO DO BOTH THOSE THINGS.

I GOT TO REALLY
WATCH EXPENSES, MAR.

WELL, OKAY. UH, WHICH
ONE CAN YOU AFFORD?

I CAN CHANGE MY CLOTHES.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, TED?

A LIST OF JOB OPENINGS.

TED CHECKS THAT LISTING EVERY
DAY TO SEE IF HIS JOB IS AVAILABLE.

IF IT ISN'T, HE KNOWS
HE'S STILL WORKING.

HE'S LIKE THAT GUY THAT
CHECKS THE OBITUARIES

EVERY MORNING TO
SEE IF HE'S STILL ALIVE.

I LIKE TO KEEP ABREAST OF
THINGS AT THE STATION, THAT'S ALL.

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR, SALES
SECRETARY, ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR...

ANCHORMAN...

NO.

DID RHODA GET A JOB YET?
NO. SHE'S STILL LOOKING.

WHAT ABOUT THAT
ART DEPARTMENT JOB?

- WHAT ART DEPARTMENT JOB?
- THE ONE THAT TED
JUST MENTIONED.

"GENERAL ART
BACKGROUND." SHE'S HAD THAT.

"SOME SET DESIGN."

SHE'S A WINDOW
DECORATOR. THAT'S CLOSE.

- "LETTERING EXPERIENCE."
- SHE CAN FAKE THAT.

HEY, MARY. IT WOULD BE FUN WITH
YOU TWO WORKING IN THE SAME PLACE.

OH, UH, I DON'T THINK RHODA
WOULD BE INTERESTED IN THIS.

YOU KNOW, I... FIRST OF ALL,

SHE WOULD HATE BEING COOPED UP IN THOSE
CUBBYHOLES THEY HAVE IN THE ART DEPARTMENT.

I ADMIT IT'S NOT THE WIDE-OPEN
SPACES OF A DEPARTMENT STORE WINDOW.

AND SH-SHE LETTERS
TERRIBLY. VERY POOR.

SH-SHE PRINTED A NOTE
TO THE MILKMAN LAST WEEK.

HE LEFT HER ONE EGG AND A
DOZEN QUARTS OF BUTTERMILK.

NO, SHE, UH, SHE WOULDN'T
BE, UH, RIGHT FOR THIS.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.

THANK YOU, BUT SHE'S GOT A
BUNCH OF INTERVIEWS TODAY.

SHE'LL UNDOUBTEDLY
COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

SHE'S COMING BY HERE FOR LUNCH AT 12:00.
I'LL BET YOU SHE'S GOT SOMETHING BY THEN.

- HIYA, RHODA.
- HIYA, MURRAY.

HI. IS IT 12:00 ALREADY?
NO, IT'S ONLY 11:15.

YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR INTERVIEWS?

THE FIRST TWO WERE FILLED BEFORE
I GOT THERE. WHAT ABOUT THE THIRD?

I CAN'T OPERATE A KEYPUNCH.

LISTEN. YOU HAD A ROUGH MORNING, BUT
YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING BY THIS AFTERNOON.

I'LL SEE IF I CAN HURRY UP AND
FINISH, AND WE'LL HAVE AN EARLY LUNCH.

THAT'S OKAY. I CAN WAIT DOWN IN THE
DRUGSTORE. READ A FEW GREETIN' CARDS.

NO, NO, NO.

SIT DOWN AND, UH, JUST
RELAX. I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.

UM, WELL, NO. SEE, THE IDEA IS..

TO READ IT.

- CAN I GET YA
A CUP OF COFFEE?
- NO. NO THANKS.

WELL, I-I'LL JUST BE A SEC.

HMM. MAYBE SOME WATER, HUH?

UGH. "JOBS." THERE'S
THAT WORD AGAIN.

SWITCHBOARD OPERATOR.
SALES SECRETARY.

- ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTOR.
- THAT'S FILLED.

- HUH?
- YEAH, THAT'S AL-ALREADY
BEEN FILLED. THAT ONE.

I-I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT'S
DOING UP ON THE BOARD ANYMORE.

AND THAT'S...

I'LL GO SEE IF MR. GRANT WILL
LET ME GO TO AN EARLY LUNCH.

- OH, NO, MAR. DON'T DO THAT FOR ME.
- NO. [ Mutters ]

LET HER. [ Knocks ]

COME IN.

UM, MR. GRANT.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO
AN EARLY LUNCH WITH RHODA.

BUT SHE'S HERE NOW AND...

YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE IT A
LATE BREAKFAST INSTEAD.

YEAH. SEE, SHE'S KIND OF DEPRESSED
BECAUSE SHE HASN'T FOUND A JOB YET.

ANYWAY, I THOUGHT I WOULD WORK LATE
TONIGHT IF IT'S OKAY IF I GO NOW. OKAY?

MARY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE A FINE HUMAN BEING.

WELL, I-I'LL BET YOU
MURRAY DOESN'T THINK SO.

HE'S PROBABLY SITTING
OUT THERE RIGHT NOW,

THINKING THAT I'M... BOY,
AND I DON'T BLAME HIM.

LOOK WHAT I DID.

AW.

YOU CRUMBLED UP
HIS PIECE OF PAPER.

THIS IS THE JOB LIST
OFF THE BULLETIN BOARD.

RHODA ASKED ME ABOUT THAT
JOB, AND I SAID IT WAS FILLED.

AND IT ISN'T. I DON'T
EVEN KNOW WHY I DID IT.

ISN'T THAT THE-THE ROTTENEST
THING YOU EVER HEARD OF?

[ Clears Throat ] OKAY.

LET ME TAKE THIS FROM THE TOP.

YOUR BEST FRIEND, WHO'S VERY
DEPRESSED BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF WORK,

IS QUALIFIED FOR A JOB WHICH YOU
KNEW ABOUT... YOU, A FINE HUMAN BEING.

AND NOT ONLY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER ABOUT THE
JOB, BUT YOU LIED AND SAID IT WAS FILLED.

IS THAT CLOSE?

YEAH, THAT'S CLOSE.

WELL, WHY ARE YOU SMILING AT ME?

BECAUSE YOU JUST REAFFIRMED
MY FAITH IN HUMAN NATURE.

Y-YOU MEAN W-WHAT I
JUST DID WASN'T ROTTEN?

O-OH, NO. THAT WAS
ROTTEN, ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUST NICE TO KNOW
THAT EVERYONE'S ROTTEN.

UP TO NOW, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE ONE OF THE FEW HOLDOUTS.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Laughs ]

WELL, UH... YEAH.

THE THING IS THAT, UH... MM-HMM.

IT WASN'T REALLY
A VERY GOOD JOB.

YOU KNOW, THE PAY
IS VERY LOW, AND, UH...

THERE'S NOT REALLY ANY
CHANCE FOR ADVANCEMENT AT ALL.

AND IT REALLY... IT
LOOKED TO BE, UH, BORING.

MM-HMM.

UH, DID YOU THINK OF ALL THAT
BEFORE YOU LIED AND SAID IT WAS FILLED?

NO.

YEAH. THEN YOU'RE STILL ROTTEN.

WAIT A MINUTE. I
THINK THIS IS YOURS.

[ Giggles ]

HERE AND ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

HI, I'M RAYETTE. I'M
SORRY I KEPT YOU WAITING.

OH, IT'S ALL... I'LL HAVE A STEAK
SANDWICH, MEDIUM, AND COFFEE, PLEASE.

SAND, MEDIUM, COFFEE.

AND I'LL HAVE, UH, A SMALL,
GREEN SALAD. SMALL, GREEN SALAD.

- DOES THAT COME WITH CRACKERS?
- YEAH.

THAT'S ALL. THAT'S ALL?

HEY, WE HAVE GREAT SOUP
TODAY. VEGETABLE. HOMEMADE.

THEIR SOUP IS HOMEMADE. VERY
GOOD. HAVE SOUP. IT'S VERY GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, GIRLS. SOUP. INSTEAD
OF THE SALAD. INSTEAD OF THE SALAD.

DOES THAT ALSO COME
WITH CRACKERS? YEAH.

MISS? WAIT A MINUTE... YEAH.

THAT'S NOT A LUNCH. MISS, SHE'LL
HAVE A STEAK SANDWICH TOO.

OKAY. TWO STEAK SANDS. AND SOUP.

NO, MARY. MISS, WAIT,
PLEASE. NO, WAIT.

I WILL HAVE THE SOUP. AND A
SALAD. OKAY? IS THAT ENOUGH?

BUT, RHODA, IT'S MY TREAT.
WHY SHOULD IT BE YOUR TREAT?

I'M THE ONE THAT INVITED MYSELF TO
LUNCH. IT'S NOT LUNCH. IT'S BRUNCH.

IT'S A STEAK SANDWICH,
SOUP AND SALAD.

AND CRACKERS. RIGHT.

WHY SHOULD YOU PAY,
NO MATTER WHAT IT IS?

BECAUSE I WANT TO.

AND, BECAUSE I LIED
WHEN I SAID IT WAS FILLED.

- WHAT?
- RHODA, I DON'T KNOW
WHY I DID IT.

I GUESS MAYBE I THOUGHT I WOULD
HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU.

OR, THAT MAYBE IT
WOULDN'T BE GOOD FOR OUR

FRIENDSHIP TO WORK
THAT CLOSELY TOGETHER...

WE'D GET ON EACH
OTHER'S NERVES MAYBE.

BUT ANYWAY, I'M SORRY I DID IT
AND IT'S YOURS IF YOU STILL WANT IT.

WHAT'S MINE IF I STILL WANT IT?

- THE JOB.
- WHAT JOB?

THE... THIS JOB.

- GEE, I FIND THIS
REALLY HARD TO BELIEVE.
- I KNOW. I KNOW.

YOU ACTUALLY THINK I'D
WANT THIS CRUMMY JOB?

THE PAY STINKS. THE JOB
LOOKS LIKE A COMPLETE BORE.

AND I'D PROBABLY HAVE TO WORK IN
ONE OF THOSE LITTLE CELLS, RIGHT?

WELL, YEAH.

MARY, COME ON. I
MEAN, HOW COULD YOU?

I DIDN'T.

I TOLD MURRAY JUST THIS MORNING THAT
YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN THIS JOB.

YOU REALLY EXPECT
ME TO SWALLOW THAT?

YOU THOUGHT I'D GRAB AT
THIS JOB. WAIT, I DID. RHODA, NO...

WHY DO YOU THINK I
CRUMPLED IT UP LIKE THAT?

- HEY, I'M REALLY SORRY.
- GEE, KID. YOU REALLY
FEEL BAD, DON'T YA?

YEAH, I DO.

WELL, LET ME CHEER YOU UP THEN.

HEY, RAYETTE, BRING
ME A STEAK SAND.

[ Blow-dryer Humming ]

HI.

LOOK AT THAT. I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU PUT UP WITH IT.

SHE'S MY FRIEND, PHYLLIS. IF YOU'RE
HER FRIEND, YOU'LL SHAPE HER UP.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WE'LL
FIND HER ON A PARK BENCH SOMEWHERE.

PROBABLY JUST TIRED.
TIRED? FROM WHAT?

THE ONLY PLACE SHE'S GONE IN
THE LAST THREE WEEKS IS HERE.

THAT'S NOT TRUE. SHE'S
GONE... TO UNEMPLOYMENT.

YOU KNOW WHERE THAT MONEY COMES
FROM, DON'T YOU? YES, FROM THE EMPLOYER.

THAT MONEY COMES FROM US... THE TAXPAYERS.
FROM YOU AND ME AND LARS AND BESS.

BESS? WOULD YOU TELL ME
HOW A 12-YEAR-OLD PAYS TAXES?

EVERY TIME SHE
BUYS A LITTLE TOY.

OH, PHYLLIS.

ANYWAY, RHODA SAYS THAT
THINGS ARE SLOW RIGHT NOW.

YES. MOSTLY HER PULSE.

MARY, YOU'RE NOT DOING HER ANY FAVORS,
ENCOURAGING HER IN THIS LIFE OF SLOTH.

OH, COME ON, PHYLLIS.
SHE'S NOT SLOTHY.

MARY, AS HER FRIENDS, WE OWE
IT TO HER TO STRAIGHTEN HER OUT.

WE HAVE TO FORCE HER TO TAKE
A GOOD, HARD LOOK AT HERSELF.

WE HAVE TO SHAKE HER UP. WE HAVE
TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HER. RHODA!

RHODA.

RHODA!

WHAT? WHAT?

OH. WHAT?

OH. WHAT TIME IS IT?

WHAT TIME IS IT? IT IS 7:30.

OH. IS MY HAIR ON FIRE?

NO, IT'S STILL THERE. ANOTHER FEW
MINUTES, IT WOULD HAVE GONE UP.

RHODA, THE TIME HAS COME
FOR YOU TO HEAR SOMETHING...

THAT MUST BE SAID.

MARY... WHAT IS IT, MAR?

UH, WELL, RHODA, UH...

AS A-A FRIEND. IT'S ABOUT
YOUR NOT LOOKING FOR WORK.

UH, NOT NOT LOOKING.

YOU KNOW, BUT NOT LOOKING...

HARD ENOUGH, YOU MEAN?

RIGHT. WELL, I GUESS SO. I...

IF I WERE OUT OF WORK, I'D REALLY... I'D
SURE BE OUT THERE LOOKING FOR A JOB.

I WOULD PROBABLY BE A
NERVOUS WRECK BY NOW.

- AND AS A FRIEND...
- YOU'D LIKE ME TO BE A NERVOUS WRECK TOO?

WELL, UH... MARY,
LET ME HANDLE THIS.

RHODA DEAR. IT SEEMS TO
ME, YOU'RE, UH, ENJOYING... THIS.

OH, PHYLLIS, SHE'S
NOT ENJOYING IT.

YES, MARY, I AM. AHA.

YOU ARE ENJOYING
BEING OUT OF WORK?

NO, I'M ENJOYING WATCHING THE TWO
OF YOUS, STUMBLING OVER EACH OTHER.

AHA-ING.

BECAUSE TODAY I FOUND A JOB.

- WHAT?
- YEAH.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY
SOMETHING FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE? WHERE?

AT HEMPLE'S. IN CHARGE OF THE
WINDOW-DRESSING DEPARTMENT.

THE WHOLE DEPARTMENT?
FANTASTIC! YEAH.

THE DEPARTMENT IS
ONLY ONE OTHER GIRL.

BUT THE MANAGER WANTS FAR-OUT WINDOWS
AND HE SAYS I CAN EXPERIMENT ALL I WANT.

OH, RHODA, I AM
SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

I KNOW YOU ARE, KID.

WELL, I HOPE IT
WORKS OUT FOR YOU.

IF IT DOESN'T, WHAT'S THE
WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN?

THEY'LL FIRE ME LIKE THEY
DID AT BLOOMFIELD'S. AHA!

OH, PHYLLIS. THIS IS A BIG
NIGHT FOR YOU, ISN'T IT?

TWO AHA'S.

BUT YOU WERE FIRED.

YES, PHYLLIS. YES. I WERE
FIRED, BUT NOW I ARE HIRED.

AND, I'M MAKIN' MORE
MONEY THAN MARY.

I'M SORRY. I MEANT TO
GET HER WITH THAT ONE.

NO, LISTEN, IT'S OKAY.
I'M STILL HAPPY FOR YOU.

HOW MUCH MORE?

OKAY. YEAH.

MAR, HAVE YOU
HAD DINNER YET? NO.

THEN LET'S GO AND
CELEBRATE. GREAT IDEA.

AND THE ONE WHO'S
MAKING MORE TREATS.

RIGHT? UH-HUH. RIGHT.

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING. GOOD MORNING.

SAY, MAR, HERE'S A GOOD JOB. ASSOCIATE
PRODUCER FOR THE CHEF LE ROY SHOW.

HEY, THEY PAY YOU ASSOCIATE
PRODUCERS PRETTY WELL.

LET ME SEE THAT.

THAT'S MORE MONEY THAN I MAKE.

EXCUSE ME.

IT'S ALREADY FILLED.

IT IS NOT, LOU, AND YOU KNOW IT.

MR. GRANT, THAT WASN'T
A VERY NICE THING TO DO.

I KNOW, BUT I'VE
ALWAYS BEEN ROTTEN.

[ Mews ]