Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (1976–1977): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

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MARY HARTMAN! MARY HARTMAN!

UH...

I'M MARY HARTMAN.

MARY HARTMAN?

GOOD MORNING.

I'M HERE
ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER.

UH, HE'S BEEN ARRESTED.

AND YOU'RE HERE
TO GET HIM OUT.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
IS THAT IT?

COULD I SEE HIM, PLEASE?

THIS GRANDFATHER OF YOURS, UH,
WOULD HE HAVE A NAME?



OH, GRANDPA LARKIN.

OH, YES. HERE HE IS.

I'LL HAVE HIM SENT UP.

OH. THANK YOU.

HEY, JERRY,
SEND UP THE FLASHER.

WHAT DID YOU CALL HIM?

THE FLASHER.

THE MAN TOLD ME
THAT HE WAS ARRESTED
FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE.

SAME DIFFERENCE.

WHAT DID HE...
WHAT DID HE DO?

I'M SORRY,

I... I JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO PUT THIS.

WHAT... WHAT DID HE EXPOSE?

HE EXPOSED...



JUST WHAT YOU THINK
HE EXPOSED.

WHAT DO YOU TAKE
IN YOUR COFFEE?

UM, UH, BLACK WITH CREAM.

UH, TO WHOM DID HE EXPOSE?

A LADY

WHO WORKS
IN THE CAFETERIA

AT DORIS STREET
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

HE DID... HE DID IT IN THE,
UH, SCHOOL CAFETERIA?

I WONDER WHY HE'D WANT
TO DO IT THERE FOR.

MISS HARTMAN,
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY ANYONE
WOULD WANT TO DO IT ANYPLACE,

BUT IT WASN'T
IN THE CAFETERIA.

IT WAS IN
THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

THERE WEREN'T ANY CHILDREN.

THEY WERE IN CLASS
AT THE TIME.

OH.

WELL, THAT WAS THOUGHTFUL
OF GRANDPA.

I SUPPOSE YOU COULD
LOOK AT IT THAT WAY.

THE...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
THE LADY WHO WORKS
IN THE CAFETERIA,

WHAT WAS SHE DOING
IN THE PLAYGROUND?

SHE WASN'T
IN THE PLAYGROUND.

GRANDPA WAS
IN THE PLAYGROUND.

SHE WAS BRINGING OUT
THE GARBAGE.

OH, AND GRANDPA SAW HER?

MMM, WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT SHE SAW GRANDPA.

AND HE...

FLASHED.
FLASHED.

DID SHE DROP THE GARBAGE?

I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S NOT IN THE REPORT.

FALSE ARREST.
ILLEGAL CONFINEMENT.

I DEMAND A JURY TRIAL.

OK, SARGE.
HERE'S THE FLASHER.
I WANT TO SEE MY LAWYER!

GRANDPA.

OH.

HELLO, MARY.

GRANDPA,

YOU'VE LOST YOUR PANTS.

IT'S A FRAME-UP.
POLICE BRUTALITY.

I'LL FIGHT THIS THING RIGHT UP
TO THE SUPREME COURT.

I'M INNOCENT.
SURE YOU ARE.

JUST TELL ME ONE THING.

THE OLD 3RD DEGREE, HUH?

OK, GO AHEAD.
BUT I'M NOT TALKIN'.

GRANDPA,
IF YOU'RE ALL THAT INNOCENT,

WHAT WERE YOU DOING
IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND?

I WAS TAKIN' A WALK.

BEST EXERCISE IN THE WORLD.

YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER
FOR ME TO DO THAN WALKING?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
I DO ALL DAY?

I SIT.

I WALK.

SOMETIMES I LEAN.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

HE'S RIGHT.

DOCTORS HAVE FOUND
ALL THIS STUFF
TO KEEP US GOING FOR 90 YEARS,

BUT WE AIN'T GOT
ANYPLACE TO GO.
AND NOTHIN' TO DO.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
YOU WERE JUST TAKING A WALK.

YOU HEARD ME GOOD.

IT'S A LOVELY MORNING,
ISN'T IT?
IT SURE IS.

THEN HOW COME
YOU'RE WEARING A RAINCOAT?

BECAUSE THE WEATHER'S
CHANGEABLE THIS TIME
OF THE YEAR.

AND I DON'T WANT
TO CATCH MY DEATH.

GOT ANY MORE QUESTIONS,
STORM TROOPER?

JUST ONE.
WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?

I MUST HAVE LEFT 'EM
AT THE TAILOR'S,
TO BE PRESSED.

THAT'S HOW COME
I'M WEARIN' A RAINCOAT.

ANY LAW AGAINST
WEARIN' A RAINCOAT?

NO? WELL,
THERE GOES YOUR CASE, THEN.

DOESN'T REALLY REMEMBER
WHAT HE DID, DOES HE?

I'M REALLY SORRY FOR ALL THIS.

AND I'M SURE
THAT HE'S SORRY, TOO.

SORRY? FOR WHAT?
I'M INNOCENT.

I REFUSE TO SIGN A CONFESSION.

I, UH, HOPE
I'VE BEEN OF SOME HELP.

OH,
YOU'VE BEEN VERY KIND.
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE.

STOP BY AGAIN SOMETIME.

OH, ALL RIGHT, I WILL.

MY FEET ARE KILLIN' ME.

OH, THANKS, TOM.

YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKIN'.

OUT OF THE ASHES
OF THE LOMBARDI TRAGEDY

IS GONNA COME
SOMETHIN' REALLY GREAT.

LIKE THE MAN SAID,
"IT'S AN ILL WIND THAT
DOESN'T BLOW SOMEBODY GOOD."

WHAT'S SO GOOD
ABOUT 5 DEAD PEOPLE,

2 DEAD GOATS
AND 8 DEAD CHICKENS?

WELL, WHAT I MEAN IS,
LORETTA'S WRITTEN A SONG
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

HOW CAN SOMEBODY WRITE A SONG
ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
CHARLIE?

COME ON, GEORGE,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC.

IT'S ABOUT THE REAL THINGS
IN LIFE.

MURDER, TRAIN WRECKS,
AMPUTATIONS,

FAUCETS LEAKIN' IN THE NIGHT,
ALL STUFF LIKE THAT.

JUST LISTEN TO THESE LYRICS.

NOW, I DON'T PRETEND
TO DO IT GOOD,

'CAUSE LORETTA'S
THE SINGER IN THE FAMILY.

BUT YOU... BUT YOU
JUST CATCH THIS.

THE... IT'S WRITTEN
FROM THE POINT OF VIEW
OF THE KILLER.

YEAH.
YOU GET THE ANGLE?

YEAH, OK, COME ON. SING IT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

ONLY, THE CATCH IS
YOU DON'T KNOW
IT'S THE KILLER

TILL THE END OF THE SONG.

WILL YOU SING IT, CHARLIE?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

♪ THEY CALL ME ♪

♪ THE ENGINEER ♪

♪ AND I'M RIDIN'
THE TRAIN TO HEAVEN ♪

♪ I GOT A MOTHER ♪

♪ AND A FATHER ♪

♪ AND A CHICKEN ♪

♪ AND A GOAT ♪

♪ RIDIN' THE TRAIN ♪

♪ TO HEAVEN ♪

IT'S CALLED
RIDIN' THE TRAIN TO HEAVEN.

NO KIDDIN'.

♪ RIDIN' THE TRAIN
TO HEAVEN ♪

ON THE LOCAL FRONT,

THE GRUESOME MASS MURDER
OF THE LOMBARDI FAMILY
HEADLINES THE NEWS.

THE FERNWOOD COUNTY CORONER
ANNOUNCED THAT RESULTS
OF THE AUTOPSIES

WILL NOT BE DISCLOSED.

CATHY, HERE,
TAKE THIS BEFORE I DROP IT.
OH, I CAN'T.

I CAN'T, MOTHER.
MY NAILS ARE WET.

WHAT DID YOU DO?
BUY OUT THE SUPERMARKET?

I DIDN'T GET HALF
THE THINGS I WANTED.

THE WAY PRICES ARE GOING UP
IS A DISGRACE.

PRETTY SOON, INDIGESTION
IS GOING TO BE A LUXURY.

WHEN DID YOU GET HOME?

A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

OH, HONEY,
YOU ARE A MESS.

DID YOU GO TO YOUR
HAIRDRESSING CLASS?

NOT REALLY.

NO, YOU ARE NOT A MESS.

I TAKE THAT BACK.
I LOVE YOU.

FEEL BETTER? GOOD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOT REALLY?
EITHER YOU WENT OR YOU DIDN'T.

WELL, I WENT,
BUT I DIDN'T GO IN.

WHY NOT?

NO, NO, DON'T TELL ME.

DON'T TELL ME.
THERE WAS THIS BOY.

YES, HE WAS LOOKING
FOR THE BARTENDING SCHOOL
ACROSS THE STREET.

SO, HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU
TO TELL HIM HOW TO WALK ACROSS
THE STREET?

WELL,
WE GOT TO TALKING.

AND MOM, I NEVER MET ANYBODY
SO SOULFUL.

SOULFUL.

I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.

HE'S NOT BLACK, IS HE?

NO, MOTHER.
HE'S ARMENIAN.

HE COULD BE A BLACK ARMENIAN.

HE'S NOT BLACK.

HE IS SUCH A HUNK.

HE HAS THE BIGGEST BLUE EYES.

MMM, I THINK I'M IN LOVE.

NOT AGAIN.

CATHY, YOU THINK
YOU'RE IN LOVE EVERY TUESDAY.

NOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU ARE IN LOVE THIS TIME?

I FEEL THAT HE NEEDS ME.

AND YOU NEED
AN APPRENTICE BARTENDER

LIKE YOU NEED
A HOLE IN THE HEAD.

AND FROM THE SOUND OF THINGS,
YOU COULD BORROW HIS HOLE.

HELLO, DADDY.
HI, MA.

HELLO, DEAR.

HELLO, KING.

Y-YOUR DAUGHTER
MISSED SCHOOL AGAIN TODAY.

WELL,

I'M SURE OUR LITTLE MISTAKE
HAD A GOOD EXCUSE.

IF YOU CAN CALL A BLUE-EYED
ARMENIAN BARTENDER

WHO CAN'T FIND HIS WAY ACROSS
THE STREET A GOOD EXCUSE.

IT'S A SIGN OF THE TIMES,
MARTHA.

OH.

WELL, GEORGE,
WHAT'S GOING TO BECOME OF HER
IF SHE DOESN'T GO TO SCHOOL?

MARTHA, PLEASE.
I'VE HAD A HARD DAY.

CATHY, CALL GRANDPA LARKIN.

HE'S NOT AT HOME.

HE'S NOT AT HOME?

NOPE.

IT'S ALMOST DINNERTIME.
HE SHOULD BE HOME.

OH, MOTHER,
WOULD YOU JUST COOL IT?

I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU GET SO UPTIGHT EVERY TIME
GRANDPA IS OUT OF YOUR SIGHT.

JUST RELAX.

HOW CAN ANYBODY RELAX
IN THIS FAMILY?

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG
TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,

HE'S TOO OLD
TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.

WHY CAN'T EVERYBODY
JUST BE MIDDLE-AGED?

PA?

AND ME.
OH, THANK GOODNESS.

HI, MA.

HELLO, MARY.

OH, PA, WE WERE JUST
TALKIN' ABOUT YOU.

I... I THINK, MA,

I THINK WE ALL
BETTER SIT DOWN.

UH, PA,
WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?

GEORGE, HE'S LOST HIS PANTS!

I THINK
WE ALL BETTER SIT DOWN.

I THINK
WE'D ALL BETTER SIT DOWN.

OH.

WELL?

FIRST OF ALL,

EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.

I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.

GRANDPA LARKIN IS IN
A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE.

TROUBLE?

WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE?

HE WAS SORT OF ARRESTED.

HOW COULD HE BE
"SORT OF" ARRESTED?

ARRESTED?

FOR WHAT?

IT'S WHAT THE POLICE CALL

"FLASHING."

FLASHING?
WHAT WAS HE FLASHING?

OH, BEAUTIFUL.

BEAUTIFUL.
THAT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.

N-N-NOW, YOU KNOW
AND SHE KNOWS AND HE KNOWS.

NOW TELL ME.

IS THERE ANY PEANUT BUTTER?

MARTHA.

FLASHING
IS INDECENT EXPOSURE.

THAT'S WHAT
HE WAS ARRESTED FOR?

YEAH.

I KNEW IT.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

OH, YOU WOULDN'T DO
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

WOULD YOU, PA?
NO.

WHERE'S THE PEANUT BUTTER?

I KNEW IT.

I KNEW SOMETHING
LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

I JUST KNEW IT!

GEE,

I HAD NO IDEA.

WELL, THERE'S JUST
ONE THING TO DO.

I'VE FELT IT ALL ALONG.

WE'VE GOT TO PUT HIM
IN A HOME.

- SAYS YOU.
- NO.

YOU JUST
WANT TO GET RID OF ME

ON ACCOUNT OF THE MONEY
IT COSTS TO KEEP ME ALIVE.

YOU'LL PROBABLY RENT MY ROOM
AS SOON AS YOU GET RID OF ME.

THAT'S ALL YOU'RE
THINKIN' ABOUT,
THE MONEY.

GRANDPA, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

THAT'S THE THANKS I GET
FOR ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU.

WHEN YOU AND MARTHA
GOT MARRIED,

HOW ABOUT ALL
THAT MONEY I LOANED YOU?

YOU KNOW
WHERE I GOT THAT MONEY?

I SOLD STOCKS THAT I OWNED.

IF I HAD KEPT THAT STOCK,

I'D PROBABLY
BE A MILLIONAIRE TODAY.

LIVING IN LUXURY
IN A 10-ROOM HOUSE

AND BUYIN' BEER BY THE 12-PACK
AND HAVIN' A DOG.

I'LL NEVER FORGET
YOU MADE ME SELL MY DOG
WHEN I MOVED IN HERE.

HE WAS A GREAT DOG.

AND HE WAS ALMOST
A THOROUGHBRED.

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT
ALL YOU COULD GET OUT OF ME,

AND I'M AN OLD MAN,
YOU WANT TO THROW ME AWAY.

WHERE THE HELL
IS THE PEANUT BUTTER?

GRANDPA, WE DON'T
WANT TO THROW YOU AWAY.

WE JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING
THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT
PUTTIN' PA IN A HOME.

I'M SURE
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

AND EVEN IF HE DID,
I'M SURE HE WON'T
DO IT AGAIN.

WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?

I GOT TO DO SOMETHING
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE?

GO TO THE BATHROOM.

♪ WHENEVER YOU WALK BY ♪

♪ I FALL TO PIECES ♪

♪ WHEN... ♪
OH, SHOOT.

♪ WHENEVER ♪

♪ YOU FALL BY ♪

WALK BY, WALK, MARY KAY,
NOT FALL, WALK.

DON'T SHOOT!

WELL, HOWDY.

REMEMBER ME?
I'M FERNWOOD...

HAROLD CLEMENS.
FROM THE FERNWOOD COURIER.

WHY, SURE. HOW ARE YOU?
COME ON IN.

YOU IS THE ONE WRITIN' ON THEM
MASS MURDERS, WEREN'T YOU?

UH, YEAH.
AND I STILL AM.

AND I THOUGHT
BECAUSE YOU WERE

A FRIEND AND A NEIGHBOR
OF THE LOMBARDIS,

I'D GET SOME BACKGROUND
INFORMATION FOR MY STORY.

OH, YOU WANT
TO INTERVIEW ME?

YEAH, IF I DIDN'T
WAKE YOU UP OR ANYTHING.

OH, HECK, NO. LISTEN HON,
I'VE BEEN UP FOR HOURS

PRACTICIN' FOR
MY NIGHTCLUB ACT.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
I PERFORM WEEKENDS
AT THE CAPRI LOUNGE

AT THE ROSEMONT
BOWLIN' ALLEY.

AND I JUST, YOU KNOW, WELL,
I WASN'T EXACTLY EXPECTIN'
ANY COMPANY.

I... I GUESS I DID DROP IN
UNEXPECTED, MRS. HANGERS.

HAGGERS. MRS. HAGGERS.
HAGGERS.

HAGGERS.
YEAH.

WELL, LISTEN, HON,
JUST COME ON OVER HERE.

LET ME TAKE THIS STUFF
OFF THE COUCH

AND YOU CAN SIT YOURSELF DOWN
AND INTERVIEW ME ALL YOU WANT.

UH, THANK YOU.

UH, WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO IS,
GET A LOT OF INFORMATION
ON THE LOMBARDIS, IF I COULD.

NOW, UH, THEY WERE NEW
IN TOWN, WEREN'T THEY?

MMM-HMM.
OH, THEY WAS A WHOLE
LOT NEWER THAN WE WAS.

UH, YOU KNOW,
ME AND MY HUSBAND,
CHARLIE HAGGERS.

ALL RIGHT, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU LIVED IN FERNWOOD?

OH GOSH, IT SEEMS LIKE
A REAL LONG TIME,

BUT IT CAN'T BE
MORE THAN 3 OR 4 YEARS.

OF COURSE, THE FUNNY THING IS,
WE NEVER EVEN PLANNED
ON STAYIN' HERE AT ALL.

WE WAS HEADED FOR NASHVILLE,
TENNESSEE.

UH-HUH, I SEE.
NOW ABOUT THE LOMBARDIS.

WOULD YOU SAY
THEY WERE THE KIND OF PEOPLE...

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS
WAY BACK WHEN I LEFT
HIGH SCHOOL TO MARRY CHARLIE.

HE'S A WHOLE LOT
OLDER THAN ME,

BUT THAT DON'T MAKE ME
NO NEVER MIND.

IS SOMETHIN' WRONG?

NO.

UH,

IT'S A VERY NICE, UM...

OH,
YOU MEAN MY NIGHTIE?
NIGHTIE, YES.

AH,
I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THIS.

I ORDERED IT SPECIAL
FROM FREDERICK'S.

YOU KNOW, IN HOLLYWOOD?
YEAH.

WELL, I SAW IT
ADVERTISED IN THE BACK
OF THIS MOVIE MAGAZINE.

AND I SAID,
"I HAVE GOT TO HAVE THAT."

IT WAS NEXT TO AN AD
FOR ONE OF THEM
SEXUAL STIMULANTS.

WHICH I DIDN'T ORDER.
I LIKE THAT.

ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I?
OH, YEAH.
THE LOMBARDI'S. WE...

YEAH, CHARLIE WAS WORKIN'
IN A GAS STATION,

GOIN' TO NIGHT SCHOOL AT NIGHT
TO LEARN MACHINE WORK.

AND WE WAS JUST
SAVIN' UP OUR MONEY,

YOU KNOW,
TO GO TO NASHVILLE

WHERE ALL THE COUNTRY AND
WESTERN SINGERS MAKE IT BIG.

BUT SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER,
WE GOT SIDETRACKED

WHEN I GOT PREGNANT
THE 2ND TIME AROUND.

SEE WHY I DIDN'T NEED
ONE OF THEM STIMULANTS?

OH, SHOOT.

UH, TELL ME.

HOW WELL DID YOU KNOW
THE, UH, LOMBARDIS?

PRETTY WELL.
WOULD YOU SAY...

ANYWAY, I NEVER DID GET
TO TERM WITH EITHER ONE
OF THEM BABIES.

I'M ALMOST AFRAID
TO TRY AGAIN.

EXCEPT YOU CAN BE SURE
AS THE LORD MADE LITTLE
GREEN APPLES THAT I WANT TO.

AND, CHARLIE DOES, TOO.

I SEE.
YOU... YOU'RE AN ENTERTAINER.

MMM-HMM. ON MY WAY
TO BEIN' A SUPERSTAR.

OH, MY GOD.

UH, DID THE LOMBARDIS
CATCH YOUR ACT?

NO, THEY NEVER
DID GET THE CHANCE

BUT THAT'S WHY
I WROTE A SONG ABOUT 'EM.

YOU KNOW,
THE TERRIBLE TRAGEDY AND ALL.

IT'S CALLED
RIDIN' THE TRAIN TO HEAVEN.

HERE,
LET ME SING IT FOR YOU.

ACTUALLY, I'D LIKE
TO ASK SOME MORE QUESTIONS

ABOUT THE LOMBARDIS...

♪ THEY CALL ME AN ENGINEER ♪

♪ AND I'M A-RIDING
THE TRAIN TO HEAVEN ♪

♪ I'VE GOT
A MOTHER AND A FATHER
AND A CHICKEN AND A GOAT ♪

♪ AND I'M A-RIDING
THE TRAIN TO HEAVEN ♪

♪ BOM, BOM, BOM ♪

OK.

GOOD NIGHT, HONEY.

SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.

YEAH.

IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE.

FERNWOOD FLASHER.

MASS MURDERS.

GOATS.

CHICKENS.

AND MY FLOOR IS YELLOW.

I'M TOO KEYED UP TO SLEEP.

I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING.

HUH?

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU
WANTED ME TO DO?

WHAT?

LOOK, MA.

NO HANDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, WHAT WE TALKED
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

HONEY, THAT'S NOT THE WAY
I WANT YOU TO DO IT.

HOW ELSE CAN I NOT

DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BY NOT

DOING ANYTHING?

IT'S HOW YOU'RE NOT
DOIN' ANYTHING.

HOW CAN NOT DOING ANYTHING

NOT BE NOT DOING ANYTHING?

BECAUSE
YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT IT.

AND... AND
IF YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT IT,

YOU MIGHT
JUST AS WELL BE DOIN' IT.

AND... AND
JUST AS WELL BE DOIN' IT

IS... IS... IS NOT DOIN' NOTHIN'.

WOULD IT BE BETTER
IF I CLOSED MY EYES?

IT'S LATE.
I BETTER GET SOME SLEEP.

GOOD NIGHT.

HERE ARE SOME SCENES

FROM THE NEXT EPISODE OF
MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
MY GOIN' ON WITH DINNER
WHILE WE TALK, MR. CLEMENS.

BUT I'M NOT A REAL GOOD COOK.
SO IT TAKES ME A LONG TIME.

NO, MRS. HARTMAN.
NOT AT ALL.

SEE, TOM LIKES TO HAVE DINNER
HOT ON THE TABLE,

WHEN HE GETS HOME
FROM WORK.

I MEAN,
HE DOESN'T EAT IT IMMEDIATELY.

HE GOES INTO THE NEXT ROOM,
CHANGES HIS SHOES,

HE KISSES ME HELLO,
AND THEN HE HAS A SCHLITZ.

AND BY THE TIME
HE FINISHES HIS SCHLITZ,

HIS DINNER IS COOL ENOUGH
FOR HIM TO EAT WITHOUT
BURNING HIS TONGUE.

THAT SOUNDS NICE.

♪ FASCINATION, I KNOW ♪

♪

OH, HELLO. YOU LOOK BETTER.

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH US?
OH, I HOPE SO.

HELLO, CATHY.
HELLO, MOTHER.

DID YOU GO TO YOUR
HAIRDRESSING CLASS TODAY?

YES, I WENT TO MY
HAIRDRESSING CLASS TODAY.
GOOD.

DID THEY RECOGNIZE YOU?

UH, PEEL THE POTATOES.

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT
YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT?
I MEAN...

NO I'M AFRAID NOT.
WELL, I BETTER
CALL THE PLANT.

IS, UH, IS THAT A NEW DRESS?

OH, YES IT IS.
I JUST NEVER KNOW
WHAT TO WEAR...

MARY.
MARY, WHAT... WHAT
ARE WE GONNA DO?

EVERYBODY, EVERY...
MA, PA.

PA, CATHY,
TOM, EVERYBODY.

NOW LOOK. EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

AND AFTERWARD,
WE'RE ALL GONNA GO
TO THE HOUSE OF PANCAKES.

WE'RE IN JAIL
AT THE MOMENT.

I CAN'T,
I'VE GOT A DATE, MARY.