Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman (1976–1977): Season 1, Episode 19 - Episode #1.19 - full transcript

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MARY HARTMAN! MARY HARTMAN!

NOW, UH, MRS. HARTMAN,

JUST A FEW MORE QUESTIONS,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.

YOU'RE NOT TOO TIRED,
ARE YOU?
UH-UH.

OF COURSE, SHE'S TIRED.

HAVE YOU EVER SPENT ANY TIME
WITH A MASS MURDERER?

VERY OFTEN.

WELL, THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS.

HER BUSINESS
IS BEING A HOUSEWIFE.

AND THAT'S...
ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM
RIGHT THERE.

NO, PA, I'M REALLY...
I'M GLAD TO COOPERATE,
I MEAN,



THE POLICE HAVE BEEN
VERY NICE TO ME.
YEAH, YEAH.

I MEAN, THEY RESCUED ME
FROM BEING A HOSTAGE.

AND, UH...

DENNIS RISKED HIS LIFE
FOR ME.

DENNIS?

WHO'S DENNIS?

ME.

HOW COME
YOU'RE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS
WITH HIM?

WELL, YOU SEE PA,
WHEN YOU'RE TIED TOGETHER
WITH SOMEONE

FOR, UM, 6 HOURS,

IT BECOMES
MORE OF AN INTIMATE SITUATION.

IT'S HARD
TO KEEP CALLING HIM SERGEANT.

WHAT'S INTIMATE
A-ABOUT BEING TIED
BACK-TO-BACK?

UNLESS, IT'S FOR DRAGONFLIES.



YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE EACH OTHER.

I KNOW,
YOU CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER,

BUT YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MUCH YOU CAN FEEL

THROUGH YOUR BACKS.

I MEAN,
YOU'RE COMMUNICATING.

LOOK, WHAT'S THE, UH,
THAT THING...

NO, UH, NO, DON'T YOU START,
YOU STUBBLY BARRYMORE.

LISTEN,
I WANT THESE QUESTIONS TO END

AND I WANNA GET MY DAUGHTER
HOME.

ALL RIGHT, UH, MRS. HARTMAN,

WE'LL NEED A LOT MORE DETAILS

WHEN THIS THING COMES
TO TRIAL.

BUT, UH, FOR RIGHT NOW,

DID DAVEY EVER THREATEN
TO KILL YOU?

UM, NOT REALLY.

HOW DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, HE DID SAY A FEW THINGS,

BUT, UH, I SUPPOSE
YOU CAN CALL THEM THREATS.

WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?

OH, THINGS LIKE,

"I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT."

WELL, I CERTAINLY THINK
THAT'S A THREAT.

OH, WELL, YOU SEE,
YOU'RE A POLICEMAN.

UH, MRS. HARTMAN,
I WON'T KEEP YOU ANY LONGER.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

I KNOW THAT THIS HAS BEEN
A VERY TRYING TIME.

IT REALLY
MUST HAVE BEEN A NIGHTMARE
FOR YOU.

NO, NOT REALLY.

UM, IT WAS MORE LIKE
A BAD DREAM.

YOU SEE,
I'VE NEVER REALLY HAD
AN EXPERIENCE LIKE THIS.

IT WAS... IT WAS...

ONE OF THE STRANGEST THINGS
ABOUT IT WAS THAT

WHILE I WAS IN THERE
WITH DAVEY,

I KEPT HAVING THE SENSE

THAT THIS WAS
ONE OF THE HIGH POINTS
OF MY LIFE.

SEE, I READ A BOOK ONCE

CALLED OUR TOWN
BY THORNTON WILDER

AND THERE'S THIS GIRL
IN IT, EMILY,

AND SHE LIVES IN A TOWN
AND... AND IT'S LIKE OURS,

ONLY SHE DIES.

AND THEN THEY BRING HER BACK
TO LIFE FOR ONE DAY.

AND SHE COMES BACK

AND SHE SEES HER LIFE.

AND SHE SEES
HER ORDINARY LIFE,

AND SHE SEES HOW SPECIAL

HER ORDINARY LIFE IS.

AND SHE SAYS, QUOTE,

"DOES ANYBODY

"EVER, REALLY REALIZE LIFE

WHILE THEY'RE LIVING IT."

UNQUOTE.

IT WAS DURING THIS EXPERIENCE

THAT I UNDERSTOOD THAT PHRASE.

MMM-HMM.

COULD I ASK YOU A QUESTION,
LIEUTENANT?

UM, YES, YES, YES.

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO DAVEY?

ARE... ARE YOU
GONNA KEEP YOUR PROMISE

AND GIVE HIM THE 24 HOURS
TO GET AWAY?

OH, ABSOLUTELY.

THE HONOR OF THE DEPARTMENT
IS AT STAKE.

WE GAVE A PROMISE
AND WE'LL KEEP IT.

SO THAT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE IN 24 HOURS

HE COULD
GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

NOT LIKELY. WE, UH.

WE ONLY PUT A GALLON OF GAS
IN THE CAR,

THAT WILL TAKE HIM
AS FAR AS THE FOOTHILLS

AND WE'LL SURROUND HIM
FOR 24 HOURS
AND THEN GRAB HIM.

THAT'S NOT FAIR, IS IT?

WELL, WE'RE LIVING
UP TO OUR PROMISE.

I THINK THERE'S A CATCH
IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

WELL, MRS. HARTMAN,
DO YOU WANT HIM TO GET AWAY?

AFTER ALL, HE'S A MURDERER.

IT'S FUNNY HOW HARD
THAT IS BELIEVE

IF YOU KNEW HIM.

I BET THE LOMBARDIS
WOULD'VE LIKED HIM TOO.

UH, MRS. HARTMAN,

THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
YOU'VE BEEN A... A GREAT HELP.

YEAH... YEAH,
I THINK... I THINK MARTHA

MARY, WE OUGHT TO GO HOME,
MARTHA IS WAITING...

I... I GOT THIS CAR PARKED
RIGHT OUTSIDE FOLKS.

THAT'S OK, UH,
I'LL GO IN, UH

I'LL GO IN PA'S CAR.

WHERE'S YOUR CAP?

MY HA...

OH, I MUST... I MUST HAVE
MISPLACED IT SOMEWHERE.

WHERE'S YOUR SOCKS?

SOCK? MY SOCK?
I GOT MY... I GOT MY SOCKS.

DID YOU THINK YOU LOST
THOSE IN THE EXCITEMENT, TOO?

HUH?

COME ON, MARY.

WHAT HAPPENS HERE?
SHOULD I KEEP THIS, OR WHAT?

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT
WITH IT, MARY.

HELLO, MRS. HARTMAN.

COULD I GET A PICTURE OF YOU
FOR THE MORNING EDITION?

OH, I... OH, GEE,

I... I HAD NO IDEA
ANYTHING LIKE THIS
WAS GONNA HAPPEN.

I... I REALLY, UH,
WOULDN'T HAVE WORN

THIS DRESS EXACTLY, IT HAS...

THAT'S FINE. NOW,
IF I COULD GET
JUST ONE MORE WITH,

YOU KNOW, THE OTHER HOSTAGE.

UH, SERGEANT,
COME OVER HERE PLEASE.

DENNIS, UH...

JUST STAND OVER HERE,
PLEASE.

UH, WOULD YOU GET
RIGHT NEXT TO HER.

YEAH, THAT'S... THAT'S FINE.

OK, WAIT A SECOND.

GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, JUST ONE MORE,

BUT THE 2 OF YOU, UH,

THE WAY YOU WERE BEFORE
WHEN YOU WERE HOSTAGES,

YOU KNOW, BACK-TO-BACK.
COULD I... COULD I GET THAT?

ARE YOU GETTING THE MESSAGE?
HUH?

UH, YOU SAID, UH,
THERE WAS COMMUNICATING
THROUGH MY BACK.

OH.

MARY, PLEASE.
WE REALLY GOT TO GET HOME,

OR MARTHA'S
GONNA HAVE A BIRD.

COME ON.

GOODNIGHT.
GOODNIGHT.

HEY, YOU.
YEAH, COME HERE.
HUH?

WHERE ARE MY HANDCUFFS?
YOUR HA...

I SWEAR, MISS LORETTA...

McCANDLISS HAGGERS,

YOU HAVE THE CUTEST TOES
IN ALL CREATION.

THEY MAKE ME MIND
OF 10 LITTLE PIGLETS

JUST NUZZLING UP
FOR THEIR BREAKFAST FEED.

OH, CHARLIE,
YOU'RE SUCH A SWEET-TALKER.

THEN HOW COME

I CAN'T SWEET-TALK YOU
INTO PUTTING OFF THE TRIP
TO NASHVILLE?

JUST A COUPLE OF MORE DAYS,
HONEY.

MAKE 'EM WAIT
FOR THEIR NEXT SUPERSTAR, HUH?

CHARLIE, YOU GOTTA QUIT
TREATING ME LIKE

I'M SOME PUNY LITTLE HEIFER,
HONEY,

JUST 'CAUSE
I'M JUST THE TEENSY
LITTLEST BIT PREGNANT.

NOW, LISTEN,
I COME FROM VERY HARDY STOCK.

WHY, A HALF HOUR
BEFORE MY GRANDMAMA BIRTHED
HER THIRTEEN YOUNG'UN,

SHE WAS UNLOADING
100-POUND BAGS OF FERTILIZER
OFF THE PICK-UP.

YEAH, WELL,
THAT WAS YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

THE DOCTOR'S
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
EVEN OUT IN ALL THAT
EXCITEMENT TONIGHT.

NOW, CHARLIE,
HONEY, YOU KNOW
I COULDN'T HAVE SAT HERE

WHILE MY VERY BEST FRIEND
WAS BEING HELD HOSTAGE
BY A MASS MURDERER.

GOSH, CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL THAT
POOR MARY'S BEEN THROUGH?

I MEAN, IT'S BAD ENOUGH
THAT HER MARRIAGE
IS GOING DOWN THE DRAIN,

BUT SPENDING ALL THAT TIME
IN A CHINESE LAUNDRY...

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THAT SHADE OF PINK?

DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

WELL, I LIKE IT,
BUT IT SEEMS TO ME

THAT KITTY WELLS,
WHEN I SAW HER THAT TIME

IN THEM OPEN-TOED BOOTS,
YOU KNOW,

HAD JUST A
SHADE DARKER SHADE OF PINK.

WELL, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL MAKE IT DARKER.

I'VE SEEN THIS COMING.

UH, WHAT?
THE DARKER SHADE OF PINK?

NO, TOM'S MARRIAGE...

HMM.
GOING ON THE ROCKS.

I TRIED TO WARN HIM.
LAST WEDNESDAY...

OR WAS IT TUESDAY?

WELL, WE'VE BEEN PUTTING IN
SO MANY LATE NIGHTS,

I CAN'T EVEN KEEP TRACK
OF THE TIME ANYMORE.

I SAID TO HIM,
I SAID, TOM,

"WHEN A PIG STRAYS
OUT OF THE WALLOW,

SOMETIMES
IT DON'T GET BACK IN."

OH, WELL,
DO YOU THINK
HE SAW YOUR POINT?

IT LOOKS LIKE THE SUNSET.

THEIR MARRIAGE?

THIS TOE.

OH.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU,

IF THEIR MARRIAGE BREAKS UP
IT WILL BE A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.

WELL, I GUESS
THAT'S JUST THE WAY
THINGS HAPPEN SOMETIMES,

YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
SHE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE
THE BEST OF IT.

YEAH, HONEY.

LIKE YOU MADE THE BEST OF IT.

WHEN, UH,
MARY WAS LOCKED UP
IN THE CHINESE LAUNDRY,

YOU WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT.

DID YOU REALLY LIKE MY SONG?

I LOVED IT.

YOU KNOW WHY?
WHY?

'CAUSE IT CAME
RIGHT FROM THE BOTTOM
OF YOUR SOUL.

ONLY THING IS, I WISH THAT...

I WISH MARY
HAD GOTTEN TAKEN PRISONER...

A LITTLE SOONER.
LIKE BEFORE
THE RECORDING SESSION.

THAT WAY
WE COULD HAVE YOUR SONG
ON THE DEMONSTRATION RECORD.

OH, WELL, UH, YOU KNOW,

I THINK
THE DEMONSTRATION'S RECORD'S
ALL RIGHT, ANYWAY.

ALL RIGHT!

ITS ONLY JUST ENOUGH
TO MAKE YOU
THE INSTANT OVERNIGHT

SUPER NASHVILLE
SENSATIONAL SUPERSTAR,
THAT'S ALL.

OH, I CAN JUST HARDLY WAIT.

WELL, HONEY,

HOW ABOUT
JUST A FEW MORE DAYS, HUH?

JUST A FEW,
SO YOU CAN GET SOME REST.

OH, CHARLIE,
8 HOURS SLEEP
IS ALL THE REST I NEED.

AND I'LL JUST WAKE UP
FRESH AS A DOOZY DAISY

AND READY TO HIT
THE OPEN ROAD.

ARE YOU SURE?

JUST AS SURE AS I LOVE YOU
A WHOLE CRUNCHY BUNCH.

OK.

ALL RIGHT.
GET YOUR 8 HOURS

AND THEN I'LL CHECK THE CAR.

OH, BABY BOY,
I'M SO HAPPY.

I'M JUST SO EXCITED.
COME HERE.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR TOES?

MAKE 'EM WRIGGLE.

WELL, MAYBE JUST
A LITTLE BIT MORE
THAN 8 HOURS.

GO TO BED, HEATHER.

I'M GONNA STAY UP
AND WATCH THE NEWS.

NO, IT'S LATE.
GO TO BED.

DO AS YOUR MOTHER SAYS.

I DON'T NEED ANY HELP
FROM YOU,

I CAN TAKE CARE
OF MY OWN CHILD.

OK, OK.

MAKE HEATHER GO TO BED.

COME ON, GO.
I'M GOING.

WE'VE GOT TO TALK RIGHT NOW.

OK, FINE.

NOW, LOOK,
EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED...

THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK.
I'M TOO TIRED.

BEING HELD HOSTAGE
BY A MASS MURDERER

IS VERY HARD WORK, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, PEOPLE GET USED TO IT,
BUT IT'S THE FIRST TIME
FOR ME,

AND I'M EXHAUSTED.

WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU WANTED TO TALK.

WHAT IS THERE TO SAY?
MY MARRIAGE IS WRECKED.

I'VE REALLY TRIED TO MAKE
THIS A GOOD MARRIAGE, TOM.

I REALLY HAVE.

I MEAN, WHEN I THINK OF ALL

THE MAGAZINE ARTICLES
THAT I'VE READ OVER THE YEARS

ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE,

AND I THINK
OF ALL THE DOCUMENTARIES

THAT I'VE WATCHED
ON TELEVISION
ABOUT THE FAMILY.

AND I THINK
OF THE CONSTANT SEARCHING
THAT I HAVE DONE

TO MAKE THINGS BETTER.

THE NEW COOKING RECIPES,
THE FLOOR POLISHES,

THE DEPILATORIES.

ALL JUST TO MAKE
OURS AN IDEAL MARRIAGE.

THAT'S WHAT I TRIED FOR.

BUT I FAILED.
I'M A FAILURE.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED ME
TO SAY?

IS THAT IT?
WELL, I SAID IT.

I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED.

I'M GOING TO BED NOW.
GOODNIGHT.

HEY.
HEY, W-W-WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT IS THIS?

HUH?

MARY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MARY?

YOU'RE GONNA SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS
TONIGHT.

ON THE COUCH, WHY?

BECAUSE OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER.

MARY.

I TOLD YOU, I KNOW ABOUT MAE.

LOOK, THE THING ABOUT MAE
IS REALLY NOT ANYTHING...

I DON'T EVER WANT THAT NAME
MENTIONED IN MY HOUSE.

YOU JUST MENTIONED IT.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MENTIONED
HER NAME, NOT ME.

IF YOU EVER HAVE TO SAY
THAT NAME AGAIN,

YOU ARE TO SAY "THAT WOMAN."

ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE SO INTERESTED
IN HER.

SHE HAS THICK HAIR
AND SHE HAS A THICK WAIST.

WAIT A MINUTE,
SHE DOESN'T A THICK WAIST

SHE HAS THICK HAIR,
BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE
A THICK WAIST.

YOU ARE STANDING THERE

TALKING TO YOUR OWN WIFE
ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN'S BODY?

WELL, YOU SAID
SHE HAD A THICK WAIST.

THERE YOU GO AGAIN,
TALKING ABOUT HER BODY.

IS THAT
ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT
AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

OK, LOOK,
I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED AND UPSET

AND I UNDERSTAND
HOW YOU MUST FEEL ABOUT MAE.

"THAT WOMAN."

I'M SORRY, I MEAN...

EXCUSE ME, I MEAN,
I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU MUST FEEL
ABOUT THAT WOMAN.

LOOK, MARY, ALL I WANT TO SAY
RIGHT NOW

IS THAT I'M SORRY
I WASN'T HERE WHEN YOU DECIDED
TO GO OFF AND BE A HOSTAGE.

I KNOW,
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE.
MAYBE I COULD HAVE STOPPED YOU

AND I... I REALLY,
I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT.

I REALLY FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT IT.

YOU'RE GUILTY
BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T HOME,

OR GUILTY
BECAUSE YOU WAS WITH MAE?

THAT WOMAN.

OH, I'M SORRY.
I MEANT, THAT WOMAN.

LET ME EXPLAIN.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
IT TOO LATE
FOR AN EXPLANATION.

WELL, WHY DID YOU ASK ME
IF I FELT GUILTY, WHY?

BECAUSE I WANTED YOU
TO SAY NO.

TO WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT'S THE QUESTION?

ARE YOU TRYING
TO CONFUSE ME?

COULDN'T YOU HAVE HAD
THE DECENCY

TO KEEP THAT WOMAN AWAY
FROM A CHINESE LAUNDRY

WHERE I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE?

LOOK, FOR YOUR INFORMATION
THAT WOMAN IS THE ONE

WHO GOT REVEREND STANDFAST
TO GO INTO
THAT CHINESE LAUNDRY

AND SWEAR
ON THAT STACK OF BIBLES
SO YOU COULD BE RELEASED.

WHY DO YOU KEEP TALKING
ABOUT THAT WOMAN?

SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO
WITH ANYTHING.

I MEAN, IT'S BAD ENOUGH
TO HAVE A HUSBAND

WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX,

BUT TO HAVE A HUSBAND
WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX
AND IS ALSO UNFAITHFUL...

OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER.

OVER, WHAT DO YOU MEAN OVER?
HUH?

DO YOU WANT ME TO MOVE OUT?

NO.
YOU CAN'T MOVE OUT,

I HAVE ENOUGH WORK
TO DO AROUND HERE

WITHOUT HAVING TO DO
YOUR WORK TOO.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?
THAT I'M GONNA BE

FIXING, UH, THE T.V.
AND MOWING THE LAWN

AND... AND...
AND TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE

AND FIXING THE WASHING MACHINE
AND FIXING THE REFRIGERATOR...

THEN YOU DON'T WANT A DIVORCE?
YOU DON'T?

A DIVORCE?
WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A DIVORCE?

I SAID,
"OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER."

WELL, WHAT THE HELL
IS THE DIFFERENCE?

THE DIFFERENCE IS
THAT YOU LIVE HERE,

BUT YOU SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS
ON THE COUCH.

ON THE COUCH?
FOR HOW LONG?

AS LONG AS OUR MARRIAGE LASTS.

- AS LONG AS OUR MARRIAGE LASTS.
- YES

BUT YOU JUST SAID
IT WAS OVER.

WHAT, ARE YOU
TRYING TO CONFUSE ME?

THIS ISN'T FAIR.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
I'LL DO IT ON ONE CONDITION,

I'LL SLEEP ON THE COUCH
IF YOU PROMISE ON ONE THING.

WHAT?

THAT YOU DON'T TELL ANYBODY
ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, I SURE AS HELL
DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW

THAT MY WIFE WON'T LET ME
SLEEP WITH HER. OK?

WELL, I DON'T WANT
PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND

WON'T LET ME SLEEP WITH HIM.

OK, IT'S A DEAL.

OK.

EVERYTHING'S WORKED OUT.

GOOD NIGHT.

EVERYTHING'S WORKED OUT, HUH?

SHE THINKS
EVERYTHING WAS WORKED OUT.

WELL,
EVERYTHING HASN'T WORKED OUT.

YOU THINK I'M NOT A MAN,
DON'T YOU?

WELL, I AM A MAN,
I PROVED THAT.
I PROVED IT WITH MAE.

I CAN GET IT ON.

YOU THINK I CAN'T?
WELL, I CAN.

SO, I PROVED THAT.

SO, WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK?

OH, I CAN DO IT.

NOW HERE ARE SOME SCENES
FROM THE NEXT EPISODES

OF MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN.

YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
I'LL GIVE YOU GOOD ADVICE.

LOOK, COACH.
WHAT'S YOUR TROUBLE?

WELL...

COME ON.
COME ON, YOU CAN TALK FREELY.

WELL, LOOK, HERE'S...

I MEAN, IF YOUR COACH
IS A REAL MAN,

HE'LL LISTEN TO ANYTHING
YOU GOT TO SAY, YOU KNOW.

YEAH.

LOOK, COACH, YOU...
EXCEPT ABOUT SEX.

IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX

AND DIRT LIKE THAT,
YOU KNOW, FORGET IT.

YOU WANNA COME ALL THE WAY IN?

UM...

I'VE GOT THE DAY OFF, MARY.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY
AND I'VE GOT MY CAR OUTSIDE

AND I THOUGHT
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO GO
FOR A DRIVE.

YES.

ARE YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS?
NO.

WHY?
DO I SEEM A LITTLE NER...

NO, I'M NOT... I'M NOT NERVOUS.

WHY?
BECAUSE I'M A MARRIED WOMAN

HAVING A COCKTAIL
IN A COCKTAIL LOUNGE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON
WITH A GOOD-LOOKING...

PERSON?
NO, I'M NOT... I'M NOT NERVOUS
ABOUT THAT.

HOW COME
DADDY STAYED DOWNSTAIRS
LAST NIGHT

AND SLEPT ON THE COUCH?

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THIS ARGUMENT IS

BETWEEN YOU AND TOM,

BUT I DO KNOW THIS.

EVEN IF YOU ARE MISERABLE
LIVING WITH HIM,

IT'S THE ONLY WAY
YOU'RE GONNA BE HAPPY.

WHAT A NICE PLACE.

I MEAN, REALLY NICE.

WHY DON'T YOU SETTLE DOWN
AND STOP BEING SO NERVOUS?

I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING
TO BE AFRAID OF,

I'M NOT GONNA POUNCE ON YOU
OR ANYTHING.

WELL, THAT LOOKS LIKE
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

OH, EXCEPT
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

THE TAPE.

YES, SIREE,
THEY'LL NEVER LOVE 'EM
ACETATE DUBS WE MADE, AND...

HONEY, WHERE ARE THE TAPES?

- DAD?
- YEAH.

HOW COME MOM TOOK OFF?

HONEY, DON'T YOU HAVE
HOMEWORK TO DO
OR SOMETHING, HUH?

YOU GUYS GONNA SPLIT UP?

SEE, THERE ARE 2 WAYS, MARY.

I CAN MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
OR YOU CAN.

OH, I SEE... I SEE,

YOU MEAN... YOU MEAN, UH,

I COULD MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
OR YOU CAN.