Martin Chuzzlewit (1994): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode Three - full transcript

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

[Baby crying]

[Tapping]

Knock at the window, sir,

knock at the first floor window.

Don't lose more time than you can help.

May I borrow your whip, my man?

He's as pale as a muffin.

Well, he ought to be, if he's any feelings.

[Windowsill squeaks]

Mrs. Gamp?



Is it Mrs. Perkins?

No, no, nothing of the sort.

Oh, don't say it's you, Mr. Whilkes--

and that poor creature Mrs. Whilkes with not even a pincushion ready.

No. No, it is not Mr. Whilkes.

My name is Pecksniff.
A gentleman is dead,

and some person being wanted in the house,

you have been recommended

by Mr. Mould the undertaker.

Oh. Oh, I--I'll be down directly.

Oh. Oh, you must excuse me

being a-bed when you called, sir,

but I was summoned last night

to assist in a case of twins.



Was it a close relation of yourn, sir,

the deceased, sir?
Oh, dear, oh, dear.

Oh, when Mr. Gamp was called to his home on high

and I seen him a-lyin' in Guy's Hospital

with a penny piece on each eye

and his wooden leg under his left arm,

ooh, I thought I should have fainted away.

But I bore up. Oh, I expect you think

I'm indifferent to such sights by now, sir.

[Sniff sniff]

Ah-choo!

But I can assure you,

if it wasn't for the nerve

that a little sip of liquor gives me,

I couldn't go through

with what I sometimes has to do.

"Mrs. Harris," I says,

at the last case I was ever in,

which it was but a young person, oh.

"Mrs. Harris," I says,

"leave the bottle on the chimney piece.

"Don't ask me to have none,

"but let me put my lips to it

"when I'm so disposed,

"and then I will do what I was engaged to do,

according to the best of my ability."

Oh.

"Oh, Mrs. Gamp," she says,

"if ever there was a sober creature

"to be got for 18 pence a day"--

working folk,

3 and 6, gentle people,

and night watching an extra charge--

"you are that invaluable person."

Well, Mrs. Gamp.

And how are you?

Oh, pretty well, thank you, sir.

You'll be very particular here, Mrs. Gamp.

This is not a common case.

Oh, I shall be, sir.

You know me of old, I hope, sir.

I do.

This promises to be one of the most impressive funerals, sir,

that I have seen in the whole course

of my professional experience.

Indeed.

Oh. Such--such affectionate regret, sir.

Such--such filial feeling I never saw.

There is no limitation,

positively no limitation in point of expense.

I have orders, sir,

to put on my whole establishment of mutes.

And mutes come very dear, Mr. Pecksniff. Ha ha!

Not to mention their drink.

[Footsteps on stairs]

My friend Mr. Jonas is an excellent man.

Ah! Here he is.

Mr. Jonas, this is Mrs. Gamp.

Um, would you care to show her the, uh...

Well, can't Mould, sir?

Oh, be a pleasure, Mr. Chuzzlewit.

Oh, thank you, sir.

I'll see myself out afterwards.

This way, sir.

You'll stay for the funeral, Pecksniff?

Of course, my dear sir.

Is there anyone you'd like to ask?

No, I--I think not, Mr. Jonas,

but, um...

Thank you for your hospitable thought.

Then you, me, Chuffey, and the doctor

will be just a coachful.

The doctor?

Mm. Jobling. An excellent man.

He says he died of a stroke, you know?

Would you care for a little something?

Oh, thank you.

A little glass of brandy would be most welcome.

I was wondering whether you would care

to pay us a little visit in Wiltshire

after the funeral.

By gad, yes.

Yes. I could do with a change of air.

It would, I think, be restorative

after the strain of recent events.

My daughters would be glad to welcome you,

especially, I think I may safely say, Charity.

She would, eh?

Mrs. Gamp.

I have been in many places in my time, gentlemen,

and I hopes I knows what my duties is.

I have seen a deal of trouble my own self,

and I can feel for them

what has their feelings tried,

but I am not a Russian

nor a Prussian,

and consequently I cannot suffer

to have spies set over me.

I--if I understand this good lady,

Mr. Chuffey is troublesome to her.

Would you bring him down, Pecksniff?

Oh, certainly, Mr. Jonas.

Um...may I?

Oh, thank you, sir.

[Sobbing quietly]

Come, Mr. Chuffey. Come with me.

3 score and 10.

Some men live to 4 score.

4 times naught is naught,

and 4 2s are 8...

80!

Why didn't he live to 4 score and 10?

Why did he have to die

before his poor old servant?

Hush, Mr. Chuffey.

Oh, what a wale of grief.

I loved him.

He was good to me.

Take him away...

and what remains?

Mr. Jonas remains, my dear sir.

His only son.

[Sobbing]

[Bell tolls]

Gloves, eh?

Upon my word, Mr. Pecksniff,

your nephew's doing the thing in style.

He is indeed, Dr. Jobling.

He has been affected by his father's death

to an extent that has surprised even myself.

Come along, Mr. Chuffey,

hold your fingers straight.

You want to be properly dressed

for your master's funeral, don't you?

My poor master.

Now, come, come. Stop that.

Be a man, Mr. Chuffey.

Mrs. Gamp: Where's your hanky?

Oh. What's the use of keeping it there?

You're supposed to hold it up to your face

so people in the street can see you're grieving.

He's not right in the head, you know?

I shouldn't be surprised

if he were to talk some precious nonsense today.

But don't you mind him,

any of you.

My father left him to my charge.

And whatever he may say or do,

that's enough.

I'll take care of him.

Which does you credit, sir.

Indeed it does.

Oh, see...

See how neat he can look, sir,

with a little help?

Are you ready, Mr. Mould?

Quite ready, sir.

Then let us not lose any more time.

My poor master.

Tsk.

I'm the master now, Mr. Chuffey.

Whose funeral is this?

Old Anthony Chuzzlewit's.

Chuzzlewit?

No.

Yes. He died suddenly last Monday.

Suddenly?

A stroke, they say.

Why, what's the matter, man?
You look pale as a ghost.

Good lord.

Pecksniff, what do you intend to give your daughters

when they marry?

Oh, my dear Jonas, what a very singular inquiry.

Oh, naturally,

it would depend in great measure

what kind of husbands they might choose.

Well, suppose one of them was to choose me.

Ah. I see which way the wind is blowing.

Oh, my dear Cherry, my staff, my treasure.

Well, it is in the nature of things

that one day I must part with her.

I am prepared for it.

You've been prepared a pretty long time, I should think.

Oh, many have tried to bear her away,

but she said to me one day,

"I will never give my hand, papa,

until my heart is won."

Those were her very words.

She has seemed preoccupied of late.

I don't know why.

You still haven't answered my question.

Your question?

How much?

Oh, ho ho!

You've recovered your old energy and directness,

I see, Mr. Jonas.

Why, then, um...

To be plain with you,

if someone as eligible as yourself

were to propose for my daughter's hand,

I would endow her with, um...

£4,000.

Would you now?

I should sadly pinch and cramp myself to do so,

but that would be my duty.

For myself,

my conscience is my bank.

I have a trifle invested there, Mr. Jonas,

a mere trifle,

but I prize it as a store of great value.

Oh, uh...I'm sure you do, Pecksniff.

Are the gals expecting us?

No. I thought it might be amusing

to surprise them. Ha ha! I have not sent word.

Mrs. Gamp, come in.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Take a seat.

And, uh...

And how are you?

Oh, all the better

for seeing Mrs. Mould just now

and looking so well.

And them 2 handsome young ladies

what I've knowed since afore

a tooth in their pretty heads was cut.

Oh, and many a day

I've seen 'em playing at buryin's in the shop.

But all that's past and over now, sir, ain't it?

Young ladies with such faces

thinks about something else besides buryin's.

Heh heh!

I'm sure I don't know, Mrs. Gamp.

Well, I knows, sir,

even though the blessings

of a daughter was denied me,

which if we had had one,

Gamp would have drunk its little shoes

right off its feet,

same as he did our precious boy.

So, what's your news, Mrs. Gamp?

How's Mr. Chuffey?

Oh, Mr. Chuffey, sir, well, um...

He's just as usual.

He ain't no better,
he ain't no worse.

But...there is another gent, sir,

what was taken ill at the Bull in Holborn,

and he's bad abed.

Now they has a day nurse, and well I knows her,

her name being Mrs. Prig--

oh, best of creatures--

but they are in wants of a-night watching,

and Betsy Prig has offered to put my name forward,

seeing as how I could unite the work

with looking after Mr. Chuffey by day.

"Not," I says,

"not unbeknownst to Mr. Mould

"who recommended me to Mr. Jonas Chuzzlewit.

"But, uh, I will go and ask Mr. Mould, if you like."

Night watching, eh?

Yes, sir. 8:00 to 8:00. And then quite free

to attend to Mr. Chuffey.

I will not deny, sir,

that I am but a poor woman,

and, uh...money is an object.

But don't let that sway you, Mr. Mould.

Rich folk may ride on camels,

but it ain't so easy for them

to see out of a needle's eye.

That's my comfort.
I hopes I knows it.

Well, I don't see any objection

to your earning an honest penny under such circumstances.

Oh, thank you, sir.

But I wouldn't mention it to Mr. Chuzzlewit

when he returns from the country,

unless it was absolutely necessary.

Them very words was on my own lips, sir.

Good day to you, Mrs. Gamp.

My dutiful girl is doing the housekeeping accounts.

A pleasant picture, is it not?

Pleasant to a father's heart.

Shall we let her know we are here, Mr. Jonas?

You'd better,

unless we're to spend the night in the woodshed.

Oh! Oh!

Ah!

Who is it?

Speak, or I will call my pa!

My dear Cherry.

Pa. Oh!

It was thoughtless of us, Mr. Jonas.

My darling, you see, I am not alone.

Mr. Jonas.

Evening, cousin.

Where is Merry?

Reading in her room, I think.

Reading? Oh, the careless pleasures of youth.

Pa!
What a surprise.

You here, too, fright?

You're as lively as ever, I see.

What's it to you?

My dears, let us all have some tea.

Ring for Jane, Charity.

Hmm.

No sign of Mr. Pinch?

He's practicing at his organ.

Ah, yes.

Well, um...

If you'll excuse me for half an hour,

there are some letters awaiting my attention.

And I must get back to my book.

Don't go.

Oh, I dare say, you're very anxious

I should stay, aren't you, fright?

Yes, I am.

Upon my word, Merry, I wonder at you.

There are bounds even to absurdity, my dear.

Many thanks for the advice, sister.

Oh! Do leave me alone, you monster, do.

Now I have both arms full, haven't I?

Pinch him for me, Cherry, please.

I never hated anybody so much in my life

as this creature.

No, don't, because I want to talk seriously.

I say, cousin Charity.

Well, what?

She's not going to believe what I'm going to say,

is she, cousin?

How should I know?

Well, you see her way always being to make game of people,

I know she'll laugh or at least pretend to.

But you can tell her I'm in earnest, cousin,

can't you?

No one knows like you

how much I tried to get into her company

while you were both in London

without seeming to wish it. Hmm?

I always asked you about her and how she was

and said how lively she was and all that, didn't I?

I know you'll tell her so if you haven't done so already.

Cousin Mercy,

you've heard what I've been saying.

She'll confirm it, every single word.

Will you have me for your husband, eh?

You...

You...

You d...

Oh...

No...please...

Please, no!

[Sobbing]
No! No!

I must go to her.

Not till you say yes. Will you have me for your husband?

No, I won't.

I can't bear the sight of you.

Besides, I always thought you liked my sister best.

We all thought so.

No, you didn't.
I did.

You never could think I preferred her while you were by!

Let me go to her.

Say yes, and I will.

If ever I brought myself to say so,

it should only be that I might hate and tease you all my life.

Well, that's as good as saying it right out.

It's a bargain, cousin.

We're a pair.

Don't...come...near...me...

You treacherous little vixen!

Don't come near me, because this time--

I'll never forgive you for this!

Mercy: It's not my fault!

[Sobbing]
You've broken my heart!

I didn't know he meant to choose me!

[Sobbing]
I can't bear it!

You're always doing this to me,

but this time, you've gone too far!

You led him on.

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did! You know you--

Girls.

Daughters.

What is this?

[Sobs]

Oh, that wretch,

that mean, false, odious villain

has proposed to Mercy before my very face!

Who has proposed to Mercy?

That thing downstairs. Jonas.

[Sobs]

Indeed.

"Indeed."

I-is that all you can say?

"Indeed."

Am...am I to--

am I to be driven mad?

He has proposed to Mercy

and not to me!

Aaahhh!

[Sobs and cries out indistinctly]

Oh, fie.
For shame, Charity.

Can the triumph of a sister

move you to this terrible display, my child?

Oh, really, this is very sad.

Mercy, my child.

Bless you.

See to her.
See to her.

Yes, papa.

[Sobs]

Uhh!

Jonas!

The dearest wish of my heart is now fulfilled.

Mmm. I'm glad to hear it.

You ain't surprised by my choice then?

A little. Just a little, my dear boy.

But the important thing is that our two families are to be united.

As it ain't the one you're so fond of,

you must come up with an extra thousand, Pecksniff.

It's worth that to keep your little treasure to yourself, you know?

Ha ha ha ha!

You jest, Jonas.

No, I don't.
Never jest about money.

Mr. Pecksniff!

Mr. Pinch?

I beg your pardon, sir, for coming in without knocking--

Better beg this gentleman's pardon, Mr. Pinch.

Jonas, this is my young man.

I do beg your pardon, sir.

Could I speak a word with you, sir, if you please?

It is rather pressing.

Please, uh, excuse me for a moment.

What is the meaning of this rough intrusion?

Well, sir, while I was in the church just now,

touching the organ for my own amusement,

a gentleman and a lady came into the church and sat down to listen.

I knew the young lady at once, so I went on playing.

She was kind enough to thank me afterwards. The old gentleman, too.

In fact...they said, "delicious music."

Or at least she did.

Mr. Pinch, of whom are you speaking?

Oh, I--I beg your pardon, sir, but I'm rather flurried.

I'm afraid I've wandered rather from the point.

If you would come back to it, Mr. Pinch,

I should be much obliged.

Well, sir, they asked me if there was a footpath

from the church to your house.

I told them there was,

so they sent their carriage to the Dragon

and said they would walk here, it being a fine evening--

who is walking here?

Why, old Mr. Martin Chuzzlewit, sir,

and the young lady who attended him

last time they were staying at the Dragon.

Mr. Chuzzlewit!

Yes, sir. I ran on ahead.

They should be here at any moment.

[Knock on door]

[Glass breaks upstairs]

Charity: I hate you!

You've always done this to me,

but this time you've just gone too far!

[Hushed voice]
Mr. Pinch, run upstairs

and tell my daughters who is here.

Say "Silence. Silence immediately,

or I disinherit them on the spot." You understand?

Yes, sir.
[Knocking]

Hello, Pecksniff.

Isn't somebody a-going to answer

that precious old door of yours?

[Screaming upstairs continues]

Immediately.
Immediately, Jonas.

Pray, uh, remain in this room quietly

until I rejoin you.

This is very strange.

Pecksniff: ♪ Little Tom Cobley and all ♪

Ah!

[Door opens]

♪ All ♪

Mr. Chuzzlewit!

Can I believe my eyes?

I--I thought I heard a knock on the door from the garden,

but never did I dare to hope that it might be...

Walk in, my dear sir.

Walk in, Miss Graham.

You will excuse my garden dress, I know.

It is an ancient pursuit which I find soothing to the spirit.

Pray, come in to our little-roomed estate.

My daughters will be delighted to see you, Mr. Chuzzlewit,

and to meet their fair young friend,

for friend she will surely be.

I trust I find her well?

Very well, thank you.

I'm sorry if we took you by surprise, Pecksniff.

I thought Mr. Uh, Mr.--

Pinch.

Mr. Pinch would have arrived before us.

He did. And was, I dare say,

about to warn me of your approach

when I begged him first to knock on my daughter's chamber

and inquire about the health of Charity.

Who is not as well as I could wish.

Ah! Here is he.

Pray, come in.

Thomas is a friend of mine of rather long standing,

Mr. Chuzzlewit.

How is my daughter, Tom?

A little better, sir.

Good, good, good.

Would you be so kind, Mr. Pinch,

as to tell her and Merry

that our guests will be staying for supper?

Don't put yourself out, Pecksniff.

We have dined well at the Blue Dragon.

We shall stay there, you know.

Mrs. Lupin made us very comfortable last time.

Nay, my good sir, I insist.

Thank you, Tom.

Yes, sir.

[Harpsichord plays]

Pecksniff...

I was much...shocked...

By the news of my brother's death.

Your feelings do you credit, sir.

We had been strangers many years...

Enemies, I might almost say.

But we were playfellows once.

Those memories will be a solace to you, Mr. Chuzzlewit.

And the evening of your brother's life was made happy

in the affectionate care of his excellent son Jonas--

a pattern, my dear sir, to all sons.

What?

A pattern of greed and impatience, you mean.

Why, he begrudged his father every day and every hour

that stood between him and his inheritance.

Oh, no, sir, you wrong him.

Even undertakers and coffin makers

were moved by the grief he exhibited.

Mutes have spoken in his praise.

You went to his funeral?

Are you a legatee, then?

You do not quite understand my nature yet, sir, I find.

Yes, I went to his funeral.

At the risk of offending even you, sir,

yes, I did it.

With Jonas I sat beside his bed...

And with Jonas I stood beside his grave.

But I am not a legatee,
and I never expected to be.

Oh, I beg your pardon, Pecksniff,

but your account of Jonas amazes me.

The young man is even now in this house,

seeking in a change of scene

the peace of mind he has lost.

Jonas is here?
Let me see him.

In a friendly spirit, I hope?

I will shake his hand if he will shake mine.

Ohhh...

My good sir.

I--I will break this happiness to him,

if you will excuse me for a moment...

Gently.

[Bell tolls]

No better, then?

Worse, Mr. Westlock.

Oh, much worse.

Poor fellow.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what friends or relations he might have

or where they may live.

We applied to you, sir, when he was taken ill,

'cause we found your letter by his bedside.

Yes. He wrote to me the other day

requesting a meeting, and I replied, but...

I have not seen him for years,

not since we were schoolfellows together.

Well, as the doctor says,

the fever must take its course.

Nothing can be done just now

beyond carefully attending him

until such time as he can give us some information.

I will undertake to pay the doctor and the nurses.

A real gentleman!

Landlady: This is the night nurse, sir.

Uh, Mrs. Gamp of Kingsgate street, sir,

well beknown to Mrs. Prig, the day nurse.

I was beginning to think you weren't a-coming.

Oh, it shall be made good tomorrow night, Betsy.

Honorable. I had to fetch me things.

Yeh.
How's the patient?

Oh, he's quiet now, but his wits is gone.

Oh. Anything else to tell afore you goes, my dear?

The pickled salmon is delicious.

But don't have nothing to do with the cold meat,

for it tastes of the stable.

The drinks is all good.

The easy chair ain't soft enough,

so you'll want his pillow.
I'll be off, then.

I'll see you in the morning.

You might tell the maid on your way out

if they draws the Brighton Old Tipper here,

I takes that ale at night,

it being considered wakeful by the doctors.

Heh heh heh.

There.

Oh, I'm glad to see there's a parapets in case of fire.

Lots of roofs and chimney pots to walk upon.

Ahhh...

[Sniffing]

Ah-choo!
[Snorts]

Make a lovely corpse. Heh heh.

[Thud]

Mr. Chuzzlewit!

Here is Jonas.

Well, nephew.

You've been a dutiful son, I hear...

a pattern to all sons.

Ecod, I've been as good a son as ever you were a brother, I think.

Oh...heh.

Mr. Chuzzlewit knows your fondness for repartee, Jonas.

He will not be offended.

You speak in the violence of your grief.

Give me your hand.

Come in, come in, my dears.

Thomas, pray come in.

What a day this is.

We shall all sit down at table in peace and harmony.

Jonas, uh, will you take Mercy to the dining room,

and we'll follow.

I don't mind, Pecksniff.

[Sobs]

[Pecksniff laughs nervously]

It's--it's merely

an hysterical affection, nothing more.

I'm not uneasy.
She will return.

So. Let's go in to supper, and, uh, afterwards

I will escort you and Miss Graham

back to the Dragon.

No, no. Let Mr. Pinch do that,

since he showed us the way here.

Whatever you wish, sir.

And you are quite content

with your situation here,

are you, Mr. Pinch?

Yes, indeed, sir. I'm under many obligations to Mr. Pecksniff.

I couldn't repay them in a lifetime.

A lifetime, indeed.

And how long have you known my nephew?

Your nephew, sir?
You don't mean--

Mr. Jonas Chuzzlewit.

Oh, dear me.
To be sure.

I never spoke to him before this evening.

Perhaps half a lifetime will suffice

for the acknowledgment of his kindness.

The path is narrow, and the grass is wet.

You go ahead, Mary.

Take Mr. Pinch's arm.

May I?

Of course.

Good night, Miss Graham.

Good night, sir.

[Whistling]

Ha! Goodness me, Mr. Jonas.

What are you doing here?

I suppose I have as much right to be here as you,

Mr. Pitch...Or Stitch...

Or whatever it is your name is.

Uh, certainly.
But my name is Pinch.

Have the goodness to call me by it.

Ha ha ha! Hoity-toity.

Pauper apprentices are looking up.

We manage 'em much better in the city.

Let me pass, please.

Not so fast.

Let me give you a word of advice, my friend.

If you escort my uncle home,

then you walk behind him...

Like any other servant.

That's a despicable remark.

But the less I say, the better.

The less you say.

[Chuckles]

You say very little, don't you?

Ecod, I'd like to know what there is

between you and a certain vagabond member of my family.

If you mean your uncle's namesake, he is no vagabond.

And any comparison between you and him

is immeasurably to your disadvantage.

Ha ha! Indeed.

And what do you think of his beggarly leavings, eh, Mr. Pinch?

It looked to me

as if you'd be quite happy to take her off his hands.

Let me pass.

I haven't finished yet.

Are you badly hurt?
I'm sorry for it.

Go to hell.

I'm sure I never gave you any cause to quarrel with me.

Here.

You'd better stay out of my way in future, Pinch.

[Knock on door]

[Knock knock]

Mr. Pinch...
Tell me the truth.

Jonas came back just after you

with a wound to his head,

saying he had run against a tree, but I think

that there was some quarrel between you and you struck him.

Was it so, or not?

I was very much provoked.

Then it was.

We had a struggle for the path, but I did not mean to hurt him.

Don't say that.
It was brave of you.

Oh, I honor you for it.

If you should ever quarrel with him again,

don't spare him for the world.

[Rooster crows]

[Harpsichord plays]

[Knock on door]

[Playing stops]

I'm sorry to interrupt your playing, Miss Graham.

It doesn't matter.

You play so beautifully.

Thank you.

I'm surprised how well this instrument responds now,

compared to when I first tried it.

I think some kind person has spent many hours tuning it.

Well, he was well rewarded then.

Miss Graham...

I have a letter for you.

From Martin?

It was delivered to the Dragon

enclosed in one addressed to me.
Thank God.

He's reached America safely, then?

Yes. He writes from New York.

Give me the letter.

Oh.

Please excuse me.

Thank you, Mr. Pinch.

Martin: My dearest love,

we arrived here a week ago

after a voyage that tested even my resolution.

The weather was bad,

the conditions belowdecks very shocking.

At last, after 5 wretched weeks,

we reached the mouth of the river Hudson

and the island of Manhattan.

On the paddle boat that took us to the wharf,

I made the acquaintance of an American gentleman:

A General Diver, who had come out to meet our ship.

He had no idea that I had traveled in steerage,

and we got on famously.

Luckily for us, he turned out to be a shareholder

in the Eden Land Corporation,

Eden being the name of a thriving new community

at the junction of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers.

He was thus able to introduce me

to the agent of the company at their New York office.

Why, I had no idea it was a city.

Oh, it's a city, all right.

Dear me, it's a most important-looking place.

Look at this, Mark.

There's a marketplace, a church, a theater.

The only thing is,

I'm not sure there's anything left for me to do here.

Well, it ain't built yet. Not quite.

Ah. Good.

The marketplace, now. Is that built?

That? Let me see.

No. That ain't built.

Rather a good job to begin with.

I suppose there are several architects there?

No, there ain't a single one.

Do you hear that?

But whose work is this before us, then?

The soil being very fruitful,

public buildings grow spontaneous, perhaps.

Mark.

Never mind whose work it is or isn't.

Maybe he cleared off handsome with a heap of dollars.

Maybe that desk and stool ain't made from Eden lumber.

Maybe no end of settlers ain't gone out there.

Maybe there ain't no such location

in the territory of the great United States. Oh, no.

We beg your pardon, Mr. Scadder.

Tell them about that little lot of 50 acres

with the house upon it, Scadder--

the one that's just become available.

You're a great deal too openhanded

with the company's assets, General.

You know as it's a lot we had concluded

to reserve for particular friends.

But these are my particular friends.

Where is this lot?

Martin: The price was very reasonable,

but alas beyond my means.

I consequently invited Mark to become my partner

and to invest his savings in a joint business

to be called Chuzzlewit & Tapley.

The good fellow was highly delighted

and modestly requested that we should be known as Chuzzlewit and Co.,

saying, "I often thought as I'd like to meet a Co.,

but I little thought as I should live to be one."

By the time you receive this,

Mark and I will be on our way westward

to take possession of our property.

Don't expect to hear from me again for some time.

I kiss this letter and through it, you.

Your everloving Martin.

Is that you, Griffin?

Have you come to bother me again?

Oh, I beg your pardon, Mr. Chuzzlewit.

I thought you were that impossible man of mine.

[Bell tolls]

When are you to be married?

Oh, goodness me, I don't know.

Not yet awhile, I hope.

Come, Mercy.
I think Mr. Jonas is growing impatient.

You must have some heart.

I haven't given it all away yet, I can tell you.

Have you parted with any of it?

Lor, Mr. Chuzzlewit.
You do ask such odd questions.

Is it so odd to inquire whether you love the man you're engaged to marry?

I told the wretch when he asked me that if ever I did marry him,

it would only be that I might hate and tease him all my life.

For heaven's sake, child, speak and think for once

like a reasonable creature.

Are you being forced into this match by...

Anyone?

No. I don't know that I am.

I'm told he was at first supposed to be your sister's admirer.

Oh, good gracious, Mr. Chuzzlewit.

Poor dear Cherry is the vainest darling.

It was her mistake, then?

I hope it was.

And you're quite happy in your engagement?

I don't mind it.

Has it ever occurred to you--

excuse me for being so blunt,

but I have your interest at heart--

that a marriage without love

may perhaps be full of bitterness...

And most unhappy?

Good gracious, Mr. Chuzzlewit, what very shocking words.

Of course I shall quarrel with him.

Married people always do quarrel, I think.

But I don't see why I should be miserable...

Unless he always gets the best of it.

And I mean to have the best of it myself.
[Giggling]

I always do now,

for I make a perfect slave of the creature.

[Giggles]

Very well.

I sought to know your mind, my dear...

And you have shown it to me.

I wish you joy.

Joy.

Oh!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, you hideous creature.

What do you mean by frightening people out of their wits?

Don't you dare sit down beside me, Griffin.

What's my uncle been a-talking about?

About you.

He says you're not half good enough for me.

Ha ha!
I daresay.

He means to give you some present worth having, I hope.

What are you doing?

Only giving you a squeeze.

There's no harm in that, I suppose.

There's a great deal of harm in it

if I don't consider it agreeable.

And I don't.

Kindly take your arm away.

I say, now...

When is it to be?

Our wedding, I mean.

I can't carry on dawdling about down here half my life, you know.

What do you say to next week?

Next week?

If you had said next quarter,

I should have wondered at your impudence.

But I didn't say next quarter.

I said next week.

If it's next month, that's the very earliest.

And if you follow me about and won't leave me alone

and don't do everything I order you to,

it shall never be at all, so there.

Do you understand me, Griffin?

Show you do by not following me now.

Ecod, my lady...

You shall pay for this when we are married.

Mrs. Gamp:
Things have been made as comfortable

as they could be, my pretty dear.

But there's many you'll have to alter your own self

when you've had time to look around.

So there you are, Mr. Chuff.

Still in the land of the living, I see.

So he is, and has you to thank for it.

Many a time I've told him.

We shan't be needing you anymore, Mrs. Gamp.

I'll be going immediate, sir.

Unless there's anything I can do for you, ma'am.

No, thank you.

Would you be so good,

my darling dovey of a dear young married lady,

as to put this somewhere where you can keep it in your mind?

Gamp's the name.
Living quite handy.

I'll be so bold as to call in now and again

to inquire about your health

and your spirits, my pretty chick.

Good day, sir.

Oh, it's not good enough for you, I suppose.

It is a little dreary, Jonas.

Perhaps with some new furniture.

New furniture?

Why, these pieces are good enough for another 50 years.

You're a nice article to turn sulky

on your first coming home.

The woman's downstairs. Ring the bell for supper

while I take off my boots.

Are you the one they call Merry?

Yes.

You're not married, are you?

Not married to Jonas?

Yes, of course, I am.

Oh!

Why, good heavens, what is the matter?

Oh, woe, woe upon this wicked house.

[Snoring]

Lewsome: Ohh!

[Snorts]
Ahh, shh...

Oh, I thought I was a...

a-sleeping too pleasant to last.

Ohh! [Coughs]

Don't make none of that noise in here!

Ooh.
It's a chilly night.

[Shivering]
Look there.

Do you see them?

See who?

The men passing through this room.

In at the window and out at the door.

All of them wearing black crepe around their hats.

Let me be sure of this!

Touch me!

You'll have your sleeping draught

as soon as I've made a kettle boiled,

and you'll get touched then

if you don't take it quiet.
No, no!

Chuzzlewit!

Chuzzlewit?

No!

No!

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.