Married with Children (1986–1997): Season 1, Episode 9 - Peggy Sue Got Work - full transcript

To get the money to purchase a new VCR that Al won't buy her, Peggy takes a job in a department store of selling clocks, which takes the "fun" out of the Bundy marriage as a result of her absence, and Kelly and Bud getting stuck with Al for the evenings.

Hi, Marce. Thanks.

So I'm not crazy.

You did just call and say,
"Please bring over your garbage"?

Yeah. This'll save me a lot of work.

This garbage I'm making doesn't smell.

Yours doesn't either.

Of course not. We're vegetarian.

Well, that's okay.
I'll just add a pair of Al's socks.

Peggy, what are you doing?

I'm getting myself a VCR.

-I see.
-No, you don't.



You're not a housewife.
You have your own money.

I have to use strategy.

You see, when you first get married,
you can withhold sex...

...but then they get to like that...

...so you have to put
a little spin on the ball.

You see, I have to pretend to clean
to remind Al how hard my work is.

He'll come in that door any minute,
sit down in the couch...

...put one hand down his pants...

...and the other hand here,
on this VCR ad.

Excuse me, Peggy...

...but why don't you just say,
"Honey, I want a VCR"?

Because Al works very hard
for his money...

...and he deserves me to work equally
as hard to get him to spend it on me.

To continue, he'll say,
"Why do we need a VCR?



Because you wanna watch Phil
and tape Oprah?"

I mean, everyone knows that
you watch Oprah and tape Phil.

Men. God love them.

They're just children with paychecks.

So I'll grovel for a while,
and I'll get my VCR.

But don't you find this demeaning?

Just the part where
I have to explain it to you.

There's his car.

-I better get going.
-Oh, no. Stick around.

You might lose your job someday
and have to be a woman.

Oh, hi, honey.
I didn't hear you pull up.

How was your day?

I sell shoes, okay?

Jeez, it stinks in here.

Oh, well. What's for dinner?

-What's this?
-Gee, I don't know. Let's see.

Son of a gun.
They're having a sale on VCRs.

-What are those?
-Video-something recorders.

-That's a good price, isn't it?
-It's not bad.

You know, if we had one of these...

...you could tape the Cubs game
while you were at work.

Come on. You just want one
because Phil and Oprah...

...are on at the same time,
and it's killing you.

Oh, please, Al.
Please, can I have one?

-Well....
-Stop, please! I can't stand any more!

Then maybe you should go home.
Please, Al.

Al, Al, this is so simple.

Peggy wants a VCR,
but she's afraid you'll say no.

Then she's smarter than you.

Peggy, you don't have to stand for this.

It is the tragedy of our times
that a housewife has to beg...

...for what she's entitled to.

Just because Peggy Bundy's
contribution is in the home...

...doesn't mean it's any less valuable
than Al Bundy's in the workplace.

You can't have a VCR.

What gives you the right
to make that decision?

Because the name on this check
says "Al Bumby."

Al Bumby? Well, that's not important.

What's important is that
I can cash it, maybe...

...because I earned it,
and that's the bottom line.

I'll get the door,
and when I get back, Al...

...we'll discuss this
while I spit-shine your shoes.

-Oh, hi, Steve.
-Hi, Peggy.

Honey, This Old House is coming on.
Bob's gonna test for a septic tank.

Just a second, Steve.
I'm settling an argument here.

Al is a cheap, sexist, primitive
throwback of a human being.

So, what's the argument?

Peggy, if Al doesn't appreciate
your contributions...

...then it's time to take them elsewhere.

You want a VCR, I have the solution:

You're going to get a job.

She's not getting a job.

You know, Al, it's probably
none of my business...

...but there are advantages
to having a working wife.

For one thing, it gave us enough money
to buy the house next to yours.

No, wait, that's a disadvantage.
But there are some advantages.

-Like what?
-You tell him, Al.

You'll have two paychecks coming in.
It sure helps around bill time.

I don't care.

In the history of the Bundy family,
no wife has ever worked...

...outside or inside the home.

I'm not about to change.

Think of Peggy.

What do you think, she just wants to
sit around all day just watching TV?

Women aren't like that anymore.

You know, I talked
with a customer today...

...who had a job that would
be perfect for Peggy.

Oh, gee, guys. I already have a job.
My family needs me.

Kelly, you want me to
make you some dinner?

No, Mom. I'm gonna eat
at Joanie's house.

Her mom makes homemade stuff.

Well, be careful.
You never know what they put in that.

Fifteen is the most crucial age of all.

You really have to keep after them.

Oh, and Bud, my baby.

Excuse me, but I promised Bud
I'd help him with his homework.

It's all done, Mom.

Oh, and I wrote that letter for you
to get you out of jury duty.

You must be tired.
Do you want something to eat?

No, thanks. I don't have time
to cook right now, Mom.

Peggy, the kids are obviously
old enough to take care of themselves.

And Al, well, he'll learn.

Just put an L and an R on each
of his shoes, and he should be fine.

Careful, Steve.

Someone's gonna steal this one away.

I think we're overlooking
the most important thing here.

-And that is, what does Peggy want?
-Yes. What does Peggy want?

I want a VCR.

And the only way to get it and feel
good about yourself is to get this job.

You do wanna work, don't you?

Well, then it's settled.
I'm so excited.

I can't wait to go home and call
about the job. Come on, Steve.

Welcome to the work force, Peg.

Remember, this is your mother's
first day at work.

She's probably a little nervous,
a little insecure.

When she comes down, I want everyone
to stand behind her like a family.

Try not to laugh.

Hi, Al. Came to pick Peggy up for work.

Well, how do I look?

You look great.

-Fabulous!
-Super.

-Fabulous!
-Groovy.

-Fabulous!
-That's enough.

All right, Peg.
A few words of advice:

As soon as you walk out,
you'll feel a warm sensation...

...on your head and shoulders.

Don't panic.
That's just our friend, the sun.

And, Al, if you should feel
a sudden, sharp pain where you sit...

...that's just your friend, my foot.

Come on, Peggy.
You're gonna love this.

You're gonna come home with
a real sense of accomplishment.

Yeah, you're right.

I've been cooped up in this house
much too long.

It's time to say goodbye and move on.

Goodbye, Bud.

Mom, please, you're a strong woman.

-Goodbye, Kelly.
-Mom, my hair.

Well, Al, I'm off to work.

Thank you, Al.
You have a good day too.

Don't worry, Peggy, it'll be fine.
It's gonna be a great job...

...and you'll be surprised
at just how quickly the day goes by.

Do you have any clocks?

No.

Oprah's got a week on "Transsexuals:
Which Bathroom Should They Use?"

Phil's doing a show on
"Male Potency: A Thing of the Past."

You know, nowadays,
you really need a VCR.

-Yeah.
-Let's buy one.

Let's get two.

Oh, hello. I'm Mr. Pond. Ernst Pond.

I'm one of your superiors.
You have many. Now, let's see...

...is it Miss Bundy or missus?

-Ms.
-Then it's miss.

It's missus.

Hey, look. Do you have any openings
in the TV department?

You just don't start in TV.

You rise to it.

Besides, we prefer to put men
in the TV department.

We find women tend to waste
a lot of time watching Oprah.

Or is it Phil? I get them confused.

Hey, did you love that training film?

Muldin's: The First 100 Years.

How in the world did you get
William Shatner to narrate?

We gave him a VCR.

Didn't you love that aerial shot...

...of all the employees spelling
out the name "Muldin's"?

Yeah. Wasn't it the top of your head
I saw dotting the I?

'Twas.

Now I leave you to your happy task,
Mrs. Bundy, and don't forget:

Tomorrow is daylight-savings time,
so you have to reset all the clocks.

Have a Muldin's day!

And one and two and three and four.

On your back and two
and three and four.

Like a dog and two and three and four.

-Hi, Bud.
-Hi, Mom.

How was your first day at work?

Much like my first day as a mother.

Where's your sister?

Kelly! Mom's home!

Mom!

I missed you so much.

Well, I better go. I have someone
waiting for me. Can I have $5?

Yeah.

Thanks, Mom.

-Where's your daddy?
-He went out in the garage.

What did he make you for dinner?

Marshmallows.

Well, where's the dog?

He's out barfing marshmallows.

It looks like winter out there.

-Go clean it up.
-Right, Mom.

You look beat.

Fix me some dinner, okay?

Forget it, Al. I'm too tired.

Well, I'm tired too,
but I made dinner for the kids.

-Marshmallows, Al?
-Hey, we toasted them, Peg.

I am not cooking dinner, Al.
I work now.

And I'm glad that you do.

Now that you're bringing in money,
we can get some stuff we need.

A new bike for Bud, a tutor for Kelly...

...and maybe some fishing gear for me.

Hey, wait a minute, Al.
What about my VCR?

This is my money
we're talking about now.

How come when I make it,
it's our money...

...but when you make it,
it's your money?

We'll leave that to the historians.

But in the meantime,
anything you make is our money...

...and we're getting fishing gear.

I don't want fishing gear.

Hey, I didn't want new clothes
for the kids, but I gave in.

And what's good for the goose
is good for the goose's wife.

Great to be working isn't it, Peg?

Get the door, Al. I work now.

You get the door. I work too.

-Well, I got home last.
-I work longer.

Then you should be used to it.
Now, go see who it is.

It's Marcy.

Hi, Peggy.
How was your first day at work?

I hate working.
That's why I got married.

And now I'm not even getting a VCR.

Oh, the kids are getting what they want.
Al's getting what he wants. But me?

I miss Phil. I miss Oprah.

I miss my empty life.

Congratulations, Peggy.

You've learned what it is to be
a woman of today.

The freedom to
make your own choices.

You tried work. You hate it.
Now you can choose to quit.

No, I can't.
You see, Al comes home every day...

...and if I ask him to do
something for me, or to me...

...he says he's too tired from work.

So if I quit, then he'll know
that I know that work is hard.

And that'll be the end of any fun
I'll have in our marriage.

No. The only way out
is to get Al to make me quit.

Then you're gonna keep the job?

I have to.

Well, I meant
what's best for you, Peggy.

I think it'll work out fine.

And don't think I don't
appreciate it, Marcy.

Hello, Pizza Shack?

I'd like 15 of your Gutbucket pizzas
delivered to Marcy Rhoades.

Oh, free garlic bread with every order?

No, thanks. We'll pay for it.

Okay, kids! Marshmallows are ready!

Marshmallows again?

They're fresh today,
we don't have to toast them...

...and they're on a bun.

Dad, it's been a week.
Why don't you just break down...

...and go to the supermarket
and buy some actual food?

You know, the kind
Mom used to defrost.

No. I hate the supermarket.

I always wind up in
the "2000 Items or Less" aisle...

...behind some ugly lady
in a muumuu and curlers.

And when everything is totaled,
then they go for the checkbook...

...like it never occurred to them
that they have to pay.

Then they always turn around
and ask me, "What's the date?"

Like it matters to me.

All they gotta do is look at
the date on their milk and add one.

Now, come on.
Let's have some enthusiasm here!

Campfire burgers for everybody.

Buck! Dinner!

Where's that stupid dog?

Come in!

Al, you know your dog just
jumped the fence into my yard?

He's coughing up little white puffs.

All right, then,
there's more for us, eh, kids?

All right. Go get him back.

How, Dad?

I was saving this chocolate bar for me,
but he is the family dog.

But don't give it to him.
Just draw him with the scent.

Go on, it's the only protein
in the house.

That's all right.
I got 15 more pizzas at home.

So, Al...

...how's Peggy's new job working out?

Oh, great, Steve.

Yeah, she's pulling in
a clear 90 bucks a week.

Of course, she's spending
400 bucks a week.

Yeah, she needed
a new smock at Muldin's...

...then she needed some new clothes...

...and then she wanted
some new shoes.

Well, that's no problem. You sell shoes.

No, she wanted good shoes.

So the way I figure it,
if she works any longer...

...we'll all be living in the gutter.

Actually, I won't be living in the gutter.
I'll be in prison for killing your wife.

Well, before you go down that long,
lonesome road, Al...

...why don't you try this:
Ask Peggy to quit.

No, I can't do that.

No, see, the truth is,
I like having her at home.

Well, she'd love to hear that.

Yeah, I'm sure she would,
but I'm not gonna tell her.

Because then I'd have nothing to
complain about and I love complaining.

No, if I got her to quit, she'd lord it
over me for the rest of my life.

She'd say, "I wanted to work,
but you want me home...

...so now I'm home, so shut up!"

And that would be the end
of all my fun in the marriage.

No, I gotta think of another way.

Gee, Al, I don't like to
butt into your business--

No, go ahead.
Pretend you're your wife.

Okay.

I think you have to take into
consideration what's best for Peggy.

Why would I do that?

Oh, hi, hon. I didn't hear you come in.

Gee, you made it all the way
to the couch this time.

How's work?
Are you still enjoying it?

-What's that noise?
-What noise?

I hear ticking.

-It's you.
-Me?

I'll tell you an interesting thing
about this watch, Peg:

You put it in water, you ruin it.

Is there anything
you wanna tell me, Peg?

-No. Anything you want to tell me?
-No.

Oh, the dog has the runs.

Are you gonna do
any housework tonight, Peg?

I have a job, Al.

-Unless you want me to quit.
-No.

Unless you wanna quit.

Well, then, I guess we're both
kind of happy, huh?

Yep.

Mom. Dad. There's something
we have to talk to you about.

We really miss you
around the house, Mom.

Yeah. No offense to you, Dad...

...but we're starving and we're dirty.

I think we need you
to take care of us, Mom.

I know we're at an age where we ought
to be able to take care of ourselves...

...but we can't.
We want you to quit your job.

What do you say, Peg?

Well, the kids have to come first.

Okay. I'll quit.

But only because I love you.

You hear that, kids?
Your mother is quite a lady.

Now, are you gonna go shopping
tomorrow and get some groceries?

-If I have time.
-What? You don't do anything else.

Okay, Al. I'll go shopping.

But if I do, I'll miss Phil,
and I'll miss Oprah...

...and the Cubs game.

But that's all right, Al.

You'll get me a VCR when you're ready.

Are you ready, Al?
Please, please, please.

Well, since you put it like that...

...sure. Why not?

Hey, we can go to Muldin's.

We can still use your
employee discount.

Oh, I don't think so, Al.

I think they're kind of mad at me.

I kind of damaged some merchandise.

That'll be a nice gift
for Steve and Marcy.

Oh, yeah.

-Well, we did it.
-Yep.

Does Mom know Dad paid us?

Nope.

Dad know Mom paid us?

Nope.

Does Mom know about your phony ID?

Nope.