Maniac (2018): Season 1, Episode 7 - Ceci N'est Pas Une Drill - full transcript
Owen and Annie take the C pill. No longer connected, he belongs to a Mafia family, and she's a medieval guide hired by an ailing elf princess.
1
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,005
So, how are you feeling, Owen?
Good.
You know...
I never told you this before, Owen,
but, um...
you had another brother.
Long before you were born, long
before your mother, uh, disappeared.
He had a lot of feelings too.
Cried nonstop.
Couldn't take care of himself.
He was hiding things.
Wasn't loyal.
What the fuck happened to him?
I put him up for adoption.
He was only four months old,
so fortunately I, uh...
I caught it early.
All he did was lie.
Babies can't talk, though.
I need you to take the fall
for my most recent, uh...
drilling with that, uh...
bookie the other day.
Cops are sniffing around.
All you have to do is say you did it
and then say you're crazy.
Me?
What? You just say you went nuts.
Frank says, "Your Honor,
he thought he was drilling the cabinet."
Judge takes a look at you,
he looks at that face.
He says, "With a face like that,
that kid is crazy."
I'm your number two.
I'm compos mentis.
Why the fuck would I go down for this?
I don't know.
All this love in your heart, Owen.
I don't know.
Makes it hard to trust you.
Makes it very hard to trust you.
- Hey, Frank.
- Yep.
You couldn't give me a couple more
of them blue pills?
You know,
as your father's consigliere,
I really have to advise you
to find something healthier than pills.
Like meditation, exercise.
- Hey, Frank.
- Hmm?
Reach into that bag and
give me some fucking pills.
Thank you.
- Chapter 5,827.
- You're welcome.
Queen Gertrude watched
her prey from afar.
Biding her time, awaiting
the most delectable moment to strike.
The past had not yet relinquished
its hold on Annia,
as she ignored the many warnings
of the forest along the way.
Her eyes blurred by drink and greed,
she was unaware how many times
she'd failed the same quest
to guide Princess Ellia
to the Lake of the Clouds.
I see it with my own eyes,
and its powers are unimaginable.
The Lake of the Clouds will heal you.
- Are we close?
- It's just over that next range.
That mythical water
will cleanse me of my sickness
and save me from death itself.
Can you feel it, Annia?
I...
My fingertips are tingling.
Despite the warmth of my heart,
the coldness of sickness,
death seeps through my limbs.
- Are your fingertips still tingling?
- Drink your soup.
Whenever I eat,
you only drink your spirits.
We all sustain ourselves
in different ways.
I find your company more tolerable
while drunk.
Would you like to hear another
tale of my homeland, Riverdale?
I really wouldn't, no.
When I join my ancestors in
the aftertime,
I'm going to tell them of my journey
with a grumpy,
good-hearted elf ranger...
- Half-elf.
- ...who, with mutilated ears,
did her best to lead
her burdensome companion to a cure.
First of all,
we are not companions.
This is a business arrangement,
yours and mine.
I guide,
and you follow, and hopefully you
don't die along the way.
And second-forth, I've
been thinking a bit
about the terms of our initial "deal".
I'm going to need
at least eight more diamonds
to take you to the Lake of the Clouds.
The land is very dangerous.
That would be extremely painful.
I urinate them.
Well...
Oof.
Sorry to hear that.
You know, if I pissed diamonds,
I'd do it all the time.
But that's me.
Yeah, looks good.
That's NYPD property,
just like you, bitch.
Hey, Owen.
You can do this.
That's a nice rock.
How'd old Jed afford that
on a cop's salary?
I don't know. Maybe he stole
it from the evidence room.
I've gotta get a key to that room.
How's Rhode Island?
Nice up there?
I don't know yet.
- I haven't been.
- No, you just send the money.
- Via courier.
- Ah, to the Wambolds.
Yeah, to the Wambolds. Yes.
I'm sorry, Porter. I mean...
Courier gettin' jacked is on me.
- It's really fuckin' stupid.
- And it's never gonna happen again.
Never. I promise you.
- A one time thing.
- Mmm.
Mmm. Okay.
It's okay.
Okay.
- Hold him down, Owen.
- Wait.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
It's okay. It's okay. Wait a minute.
- Wait.
- Drill, please.
What? What are you...
What are you gonna...?
- So, what else?
- What? Nothing, nothing. No, I swear.
You know why I'm the
drill and not the skull?
No.
Because I always know
when somebody's hiding something.
It's genetic.
It's my superpower.
All the Milgrims have one.
Mike was born with three nipples.
You've got three nipples?
Battery's dead.
You think, Phil?
It's a sign.
Who's in charge of the
fucking batteries?
- Mike!
- Phil! I'll get one.
I can find it. I can find it.
If you forgive others,
they'll forgive you.
Your father in Heaven
will also forgive you.
No, you're lying again.
Fathers do not forgive.
But the Book of Matthew.
Fuck! Fuck!
Please, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Please! Blood is highly
corrosive to drill bits. Aah!
Yes! Yes, I'm skimming.
I'm skimming and selling for myself.
Extra money to pay for a nurse.
I have a daughter! I have a daughter!
She's got special needs.
She's special needs!
Oh, yeah.
Temporal lobe.
The hippocampus.
Yeah!
Disgusting creature.
Fuck!
Shit!
My greatest triumphs
always go unwitnessed.
Hey.
Ooh.
Okay.
You're hard to keep up with.
Oh, let me just sit down.
So, um,
these assassins that keep popping up,
I think they're your inner demons.
It's another bleedin' elf.
I've never seen an elf.
Because they don't exist, them elves.
And now I've seen not one but three...
Bye!
...elves in one day.
This one's ears is all ripped off.
- What do we do?
- Take them to Lady Nora.
Fuck you! Fuck both of you!
I'm done with this fucking shit!
He's gonna find out!
He always fucking finds out! You don't
Fuck, you don't understand.
He's got like a sixth
sense for this shit.
He may have someone on the inside.
No, we don't know that.
It's probably fucking you, Carl.
Fucking bitch.
Yo, I am so clean,
you can use my piss as detergent,
so sit on that.
Owen, we need you.
We need you to stay with us.
We need you to keep going.
Can you do that for us?
Can you do it for me?
Do I have a choice?
You'll go to jail.
This is disrespect.
I'm not ready to leave. Take it away.
Owen?
- What's up?
- Olivia.
I'm in your Age of Discovery class.
Yeah, I know who you are.
What can I get you?
Just some coffee.
One cup of joe.
Thanks.
You know, I was gonna talk to you
at class, but...
since you're here...
I noticed you take a lot of notes...
and seeing as we have
that big final test coming up,
maybe we can study together.
Yeah, I'd like that.
- Come on, have I ever let you down?
- No, never. Wow.
Hey, I've got to go. No disrespect.
Owen, so long as we're studying
together, the coffee's on me.
Why are you so warm?
I have chronic hypothermia.
My skin's temperature is 106 degrees.
That's fucked up.
I've gotta go.
She's a long way from home.
- Yes, she is.
- As are you.
How did she find you?
How does anyone?
I was drunk in a tavern.
She was lost, and sick, and...
and wouldn't take no for an answer.
Does the princess know
the ranger she's chosen as her guide
is hunted by invisible assassins
sent by Queen Gertrude?
I tell Her Highness
only what she needs to know.
And who doesn't have a price
on their head these days?
She stirs.
Such grace.
How can we repay your kindness?
No need, my child. It is my pleasure.
Did my guide tell you of our quest?
We seek a mythical water...
- that will cleanse me of my sickness.
- The Lake of the Clouds.
You know it?
I was cursed to die by my mother.
I came from the Riverdale forest
near death,
grasping at the legend.
Now, by the grace of the gods,
it seems to be coming true.
My ranger's going to save me
from death itself.
I know where it is,
and I can show you.
- Yurick.
- All right.
Up, you idiot.
I'm sorry, m'lady.
I was lost in my own head again.
Fetch the mirror.
All right, right. Thank you, thank you.
Who is he?
My husband.
Thank you.
I'd like your ranger...
to peer into this looking glass.
That's it.
What nature of looking glass is it?
Magic, of course.
So why not have the royal elf
look into it?
The glass needs only see one of you.
Your fates are intertwined,
and I am most interested...
in your reflection.
What do you see?
I...
What is it, Annia?
It's two girls.
Who are they?
Sisters.
The younger one is leaning forward.
The elder one is putting rouge on her.
I know this image. It's familiar.
The younger one adores the older.
They've heard their
mother is coming home.
So they're getting ready.
But she's not really coming.
It's you.
And me.
How can that be?
Did I find you?
Or were you supposed to find me?
Follow the stars north,
and within two days
you'll reach the lightningstruck shell
of an awin tree.
You'll find the lake,
so long as your eyes
and your hearts are clear.
I wish you luck on your quest.
Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
- Get up. Boil some water.
- Yes, ma'am.
Come, child.
Though you may be cursed,
you're still her eyes.
You're Greg FUN Nazlund.
Asshole.
Goodbye. Fare thee well.
She's very strange, that woman.
Did you really, you know,
see all those things that you said...
Did you really see all those things
you said you saw in there?
Ellie...
Ellie, it's me.
Look at me. It's me, Annie.
Yes, Annia.
My ranger and my guide.
Of course, of course, of course.
It's fucking fantasy.
It's my least favorite genre.
What is this?
What does this mean?
What is this supposed to be?
What does any tale mean?
My tutor used to ask me this.
I have read many fascinating moral
tales in the archives of the palace.
- Man, you love this.
- Do you understand?
You love this. This is...
This was your idea, wasn't it?
What? All right, come on.
Hey. Come on.
You're okay.
You're okay.
You're probably conspiring against me.
Turning my test subjects against me.
How are the systems running?
So far,
all the key indicators look perfect.
Whatever she's doing is helping.
Maybe your mother doesn't
destroy everything after all.
How is she?
She's breathing.
I never apologized to
you about the gala.
You don't have to. The consequences
were simply the end of our romance.
I'm sorry, Azumi.
It was a way out.
A way out...
of what?
Failure.
This is the quietest I've ever seen her.
What on earth are you doing in there?
00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,005
So, how are you feeling, Owen?
Good.
You know...
I never told you this before, Owen,
but, um...
you had another brother.
Long before you were born, long
before your mother, uh, disappeared.
He had a lot of feelings too.
Cried nonstop.
Couldn't take care of himself.
He was hiding things.
Wasn't loyal.
What the fuck happened to him?
I put him up for adoption.
He was only four months old,
so fortunately I, uh...
I caught it early.
All he did was lie.
Babies can't talk, though.
I need you to take the fall
for my most recent, uh...
drilling with that, uh...
bookie the other day.
Cops are sniffing around.
All you have to do is say you did it
and then say you're crazy.
Me?
What? You just say you went nuts.
Frank says, "Your Honor,
he thought he was drilling the cabinet."
Judge takes a look at you,
he looks at that face.
He says, "With a face like that,
that kid is crazy."
I'm your number two.
I'm compos mentis.
Why the fuck would I go down for this?
I don't know.
All this love in your heart, Owen.
I don't know.
Makes it hard to trust you.
Makes it very hard to trust you.
- Hey, Frank.
- Yep.
You couldn't give me a couple more
of them blue pills?
You know,
as your father's consigliere,
I really have to advise you
to find something healthier than pills.
Like meditation, exercise.
- Hey, Frank.
- Hmm?
Reach into that bag and
give me some fucking pills.
Thank you.
- Chapter 5,827.
- You're welcome.
Queen Gertrude watched
her prey from afar.
Biding her time, awaiting
the most delectable moment to strike.
The past had not yet relinquished
its hold on Annia,
as she ignored the many warnings
of the forest along the way.
Her eyes blurred by drink and greed,
she was unaware how many times
she'd failed the same quest
to guide Princess Ellia
to the Lake of the Clouds.
I see it with my own eyes,
and its powers are unimaginable.
The Lake of the Clouds will heal you.
- Are we close?
- It's just over that next range.
That mythical water
will cleanse me of my sickness
and save me from death itself.
Can you feel it, Annia?
I...
My fingertips are tingling.
Despite the warmth of my heart,
the coldness of sickness,
death seeps through my limbs.
- Are your fingertips still tingling?
- Drink your soup.
Whenever I eat,
you only drink your spirits.
We all sustain ourselves
in different ways.
I find your company more tolerable
while drunk.
Would you like to hear another
tale of my homeland, Riverdale?
I really wouldn't, no.
When I join my ancestors in
the aftertime,
I'm going to tell them of my journey
with a grumpy,
good-hearted elf ranger...
- Half-elf.
- ...who, with mutilated ears,
did her best to lead
her burdensome companion to a cure.
First of all,
we are not companions.
This is a business arrangement,
yours and mine.
I guide,
and you follow, and hopefully you
don't die along the way.
And second-forth, I've
been thinking a bit
about the terms of our initial "deal".
I'm going to need
at least eight more diamonds
to take you to the Lake of the Clouds.
The land is very dangerous.
That would be extremely painful.
I urinate them.
Well...
Oof.
Sorry to hear that.
You know, if I pissed diamonds,
I'd do it all the time.
But that's me.
Yeah, looks good.
That's NYPD property,
just like you, bitch.
Hey, Owen.
You can do this.
That's a nice rock.
How'd old Jed afford that
on a cop's salary?
I don't know. Maybe he stole
it from the evidence room.
I've gotta get a key to that room.
How's Rhode Island?
Nice up there?
I don't know yet.
- I haven't been.
- No, you just send the money.
- Via courier.
- Ah, to the Wambolds.
Yeah, to the Wambolds. Yes.
I'm sorry, Porter. I mean...
Courier gettin' jacked is on me.
- It's really fuckin' stupid.
- And it's never gonna happen again.
Never. I promise you.
- A one time thing.
- Mmm.
Mmm. Okay.
It's okay.
Okay.
- Hold him down, Owen.
- Wait.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
It's okay. It's okay. Wait a minute.
- Wait.
- Drill, please.
What? What are you...
What are you gonna...?
- So, what else?
- What? Nothing, nothing. No, I swear.
You know why I'm the
drill and not the skull?
No.
Because I always know
when somebody's hiding something.
It's genetic.
It's my superpower.
All the Milgrims have one.
Mike was born with three nipples.
You've got three nipples?
Battery's dead.
You think, Phil?
It's a sign.
Who's in charge of the
fucking batteries?
- Mike!
- Phil! I'll get one.
I can find it. I can find it.
If you forgive others,
they'll forgive you.
Your father in Heaven
will also forgive you.
No, you're lying again.
Fathers do not forgive.
But the Book of Matthew.
Fuck! Fuck!
Please, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Please! Blood is highly
corrosive to drill bits. Aah!
Yes! Yes, I'm skimming.
I'm skimming and selling for myself.
Extra money to pay for a nurse.
I have a daughter! I have a daughter!
She's got special needs.
She's special needs!
Oh, yeah.
Temporal lobe.
The hippocampus.
Yeah!
Disgusting creature.
Fuck!
Shit!
My greatest triumphs
always go unwitnessed.
Hey.
Ooh.
Okay.
You're hard to keep up with.
Oh, let me just sit down.
So, um,
these assassins that keep popping up,
I think they're your inner demons.
It's another bleedin' elf.
I've never seen an elf.
Because they don't exist, them elves.
And now I've seen not one but three...
Bye!
...elves in one day.
This one's ears is all ripped off.
- What do we do?
- Take them to Lady Nora.
Fuck you! Fuck both of you!
I'm done with this fucking shit!
He's gonna find out!
He always fucking finds out! You don't
Fuck, you don't understand.
He's got like a sixth
sense for this shit.
He may have someone on the inside.
No, we don't know that.
It's probably fucking you, Carl.
Fucking bitch.
Yo, I am so clean,
you can use my piss as detergent,
so sit on that.
Owen, we need you.
We need you to stay with us.
We need you to keep going.
Can you do that for us?
Can you do it for me?
Do I have a choice?
You'll go to jail.
This is disrespect.
I'm not ready to leave. Take it away.
Owen?
- What's up?
- Olivia.
I'm in your Age of Discovery class.
Yeah, I know who you are.
What can I get you?
Just some coffee.
One cup of joe.
Thanks.
You know, I was gonna talk to you
at class, but...
since you're here...
I noticed you take a lot of notes...
and seeing as we have
that big final test coming up,
maybe we can study together.
Yeah, I'd like that.
- Come on, have I ever let you down?
- No, never. Wow.
Hey, I've got to go. No disrespect.
Owen, so long as we're studying
together, the coffee's on me.
Why are you so warm?
I have chronic hypothermia.
My skin's temperature is 106 degrees.
That's fucked up.
I've gotta go.
She's a long way from home.
- Yes, she is.
- As are you.
How did she find you?
How does anyone?
I was drunk in a tavern.
She was lost, and sick, and...
and wouldn't take no for an answer.
Does the princess know
the ranger she's chosen as her guide
is hunted by invisible assassins
sent by Queen Gertrude?
I tell Her Highness
only what she needs to know.
And who doesn't have a price
on their head these days?
She stirs.
Such grace.
How can we repay your kindness?
No need, my child. It is my pleasure.
Did my guide tell you of our quest?
We seek a mythical water...
- that will cleanse me of my sickness.
- The Lake of the Clouds.
You know it?
I was cursed to die by my mother.
I came from the Riverdale forest
near death,
grasping at the legend.
Now, by the grace of the gods,
it seems to be coming true.
My ranger's going to save me
from death itself.
I know where it is,
and I can show you.
- Yurick.
- All right.
Up, you idiot.
I'm sorry, m'lady.
I was lost in my own head again.
Fetch the mirror.
All right, right. Thank you, thank you.
Who is he?
My husband.
Thank you.
I'd like your ranger...
to peer into this looking glass.
That's it.
What nature of looking glass is it?
Magic, of course.
So why not have the royal elf
look into it?
The glass needs only see one of you.
Your fates are intertwined,
and I am most interested...
in your reflection.
What do you see?
I...
What is it, Annia?
It's two girls.
Who are they?
Sisters.
The younger one is leaning forward.
The elder one is putting rouge on her.
I know this image. It's familiar.
The younger one adores the older.
They've heard their
mother is coming home.
So they're getting ready.
But she's not really coming.
It's you.
And me.
How can that be?
Did I find you?
Or were you supposed to find me?
Follow the stars north,
and within two days
you'll reach the lightningstruck shell
of an awin tree.
You'll find the lake,
so long as your eyes
and your hearts are clear.
I wish you luck on your quest.
Thank you.
Thank you for your help.
- Get up. Boil some water.
- Yes, ma'am.
Come, child.
Though you may be cursed,
you're still her eyes.
You're Greg FUN Nazlund.
Asshole.
Goodbye. Fare thee well.
She's very strange, that woman.
Did you really, you know,
see all those things that you said...
Did you really see all those things
you said you saw in there?
Ellie...
Ellie, it's me.
Look at me. It's me, Annie.
Yes, Annia.
My ranger and my guide.
Of course, of course, of course.
It's fucking fantasy.
It's my least favorite genre.
What is this?
What does this mean?
What is this supposed to be?
What does any tale mean?
My tutor used to ask me this.
I have read many fascinating moral
tales in the archives of the palace.
- Man, you love this.
- Do you understand?
You love this. This is...
This was your idea, wasn't it?
What? All right, come on.
Hey. Come on.
You're okay.
You're okay.
You're probably conspiring against me.
Turning my test subjects against me.
How are the systems running?
So far,
all the key indicators look perfect.
Whatever she's doing is helping.
Maybe your mother doesn't
destroy everything after all.
How is she?
She's breathing.
I never apologized to
you about the gala.
You don't have to. The consequences
were simply the end of our romance.
I'm sorry, Azumi.
It was a way out.
A way out...
of what?
Failure.
This is the quietest I've ever seen her.
What on earth are you doing in there?