Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 4, Episode 24 - Naomi's Identity Crisis - full transcript

Oh, my pie crust is done.

I'll be with you
in just a minute.

I just got to
separate these eggs

for your nice meringue.

Oh, Lord, not you, too.

Well, just when my
hands are full right now!

Put a lid on it!

Shoot! There goes my meringue.

Well, the hell with it.

I'll just use cool whip.

Mama, the tea
kettle's whistlin'!



Oh, really?

I thought maybe
the Goodyear Blimp

just had a slow leak.

Don't get up,
Vinton! I'll get it!

No need for you to
get off your lazy butt!

Okay, mama.

Knock, knock! And
surprise, surprise!

I made you somethin'
special for your kitchen.

And I hope it's an
extra set of hands.

Nope. It's a happy-rainbow
napkin holder.

Just what I always wanted.

Oh, you're welcome, Thelma.

See, all's you got to do

is you take each paper napkin



and you fold it diagonally.

And then, you just slip it

right in-between
the two rainbows.

Why not surprise the
family with it tonight?

Because if I spend all
of my time foldin' napkins

they're not gonna have any
food to wipe off their faces.

Well, I'd love to help
you, but I'm taking

mother out to dinner tonight.

What? She's actually
leavin' the house?

- Mm-hmm.
- Where are you taking her?

St. Ray's Cafeteria.

St. Ray's?

The hospital cafeteria?

Yeah.

Well, I thought it'd be perfect.

That way, if the excitement
gets too much for her

they can just roll her
right into intensive care.

Yeah, Iola, I guess decidin'

between the custard
cup and the tapioca

is enough to drive
anybody's blood pressure

through the roof.

Well, ta-ta.

- Naomi.
- Iola.

Naomi, am I ever
glad to see you.

This dinner's about to do me in.

Smells like it. What's burning?

Oh, my Lord! My pie crust!

Oh, shoot!

What was so good
of servin' pork chops

if you can't have chocolate pie?

Well, never mind, Miss Harper.

Just be happy you don't
have to work for a living.

Today was double-coupon
day at food circus.

I had to work through
all five of my breaks.

So when's dinner? I'm starved.

Naomi, in case
you haven't noticed

I'm havin' a
little bit of trouble

gettin' our dinner on the table.

Alright, I can take a hint.

I'll get out of your way.

Hi, Bubba. What are you doin'?

I'm makin' a geological exhibit

of Raytown's strata
for my science class.

Here's how it's made,
there's a layer of granite

a layer of limestone
and a layer of clay.

Well, it looks like dirt to me,

and I want it off
my damn table now.

- Okay, grandma.
- Really, Miss Harper?

I think you should be
more encouraging of Bubba

and his science project.

Yeah, he's just tryin'
to further his education.

- Hi, baby. Mm.
- Hey. Mm.

And just what are you two doin'?

Crammin' for biology?

For your information

I am giving my husband
his evening kiss.

Part of my wifely duties.

Have you ever noticed how
none of your wifely duties

can be performed standin' up?

Just what is that crack
supposed to mean?

It means I break my back
around here cookin' and cleanin'

and nobody ever
gives me a lick of help!

Grandma, you
say that all the time.

Well, I'm gonna keep sayin' it

until somebody listens!

Miss Harper, if
you want some help

all you have to do is ask.

Alright, Naomi...

help me!

Tsk. Huh...

What do you think
she meant by that?

Never mind, baby. I think,
I'd better go help her. Mm.

Miss Harper.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Skeeter! Oh!
- Aunt Naomi!

- Oh...
- Oh!

Oh, my gosh.
She's out like a light.

Why, I didn't know
she was back there.

I never dreamed she'd
actually come to help.

- Oh.
- She's wakin' up.

Naomi, sweetie? Speak to us.

Where am I?

I-it's okay, baby. You're
right here with me.

Who are you?

Who am I?

Oh, my Lord! She's got amnesia!

Worse than that.
Her memory's gone.

Bubba, give me a hand.
This one's lost her mind.

And that one never
had one to begin with.

And the door hit
her right in the head.

Knocked her clean
to the floor in a daze.

When she came to, she
didn't know who she was

or who we were or anything.

Oh, no, where...
Where is she now?

Well, Uncle Vint took her
down to the emergency hospital.

I'm sure she'll be
alright. They'll fix her up.

Now, we're home. See?

Uh, all this is the
family and neighbor.

- Oh.
- Oh, uh...

Move back a little.
Give her some room.

Now, come on over here.

Sit down.

Do you remember this place?

This is home.

Home.

Home?

You mean, her memory
hasn't come back at all?

No, but the doctor said it
was just a mild concussion.

Well, when will she
start to remember?

Well, he doesn't know.
It could be tomorrow.

It could take
weeks. Even a year.

Oh, that doctor's nuts.

This same exact thing
happened to Blaze

on "The Young And The
Restless." She was fine by Friday.

Of course, when she
come back from the hospital

she was a different actress.

Uh, Naomi?

Well, Vinton, for pity's sake

she's exactly the same.

Naomi, sweetie, I'll
bet you're hungry.

Lookee here. I saved
you some supper.

Oh, how thoughtful.

I hope you didn't
go to any trouble.

Well, she's not
exactly the same.

Now, don't you worry,
mama was glad to do it.

Are you my mama?

No, no, sweetie, uh,
I'm your mother-in-law.

- Mrs. Harper.
- Yeah.

And that's your husband, Vinton.

You're my husband?

No. That's your nephew, Bubba.

I'm your husband, Vint.

Are you sure?

Well, of course
I'm sure, Skeeter.

Skeeter? Who's Skeeter?

Well, you are.
That's what I call you.

Why?

Are you certain she's alright?

Did they do any
tests at the hospital?

Yeah, they took
X-rays of her brain.

They didn't find anything.

Let me.

I'm your friend and
neighbor, Iola Boylen.

Hello.

- My, what a pretty dress.
- Thank you.

It's got such an
attractive neckline.

Mm, and, Miss
Harper, this is by far

the best-tasting food
I have ever eaten.

Of course, I don't remember
ever having eaten before.

Oh, never you mind, sweetie.
You just enjoy yourself.

Can I get you anything else?

Well, as a matter of
fact, this food would be

even more delicious
with a little pinch of salt.

Oh, I must have taken
that in the kitchen.

- I'll go get it for you.
- No.

Now, you've done
far too much already.

I can get it myself.

Funny, this is my own
home, I have no idea

where the kitchen is.

Well, you never were
too familiar with it.

It's this way, sweetie.

- Oh, thank you.
- Here you go.

Look out for that door.

- Oh, my poor Naomi.
- Oh, she seems so different.

It's like her whole
personality's

been knocked right out of her.

That's the spirit. Look
on the bright side.

Miss Harper, your
kitchen is just lovely.

I can tell I'm going
to be very happy here.

Well, welcome home...
whoever you are.

Oh.

So, you decided to
sleep on the couch, huh?

Who decided? Naomi
wouldn't sleep with me.

She said she couldn't sleep
with a man she hardly knew.

That's never stopped her before.

Mama, what can I do?

She thinks I'm a
stranger and it looks like

that's the way she
wants to keep it.

Oh, come on, baby.
Come on. Come with me.

- Oh...
- Let's go in the kitchen.

I'll make you some
waffles. You'll feel better.

I'll never feel better.

Things are never gonna
be the same again.

Oh, Vinton, just be patient.

It won't be long till Naomi's
back to normal again.

Good morning, Mrs. Harper.

- Mr. Harper.
- Oh, no.

Did you sleep well, Naomi?

Well, as a matter of fact
I had a really fitful night.

I hardly slept at all.

Did you want your
ever lovin' man?

No, I wanted some clean sheets.

Th-that place is a pigsty.

Have I been too sick to clean?

No, not sick, really.

Although, you did spend
most of your time in bed.

Y-y-you, you always
liked that room, Skeeter.

Well, perhaps I'll like it again

as soon as I get rid of
all that worthless junk.

I'm gonna throw out those
car and gun magazines

and those toy airplanes.

Hey, that's my stuff.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, how about
we move it upstairs

and put it next to the
couch where you sleep?

Forget it. I want my stuff
down in the basement.

It's my room too, you know?

And now, I would like to go
down there and change my clothes

if that's alright with you?

Well, certainly, Mr. Harper.

Just don't throw
them all over the floor.

Mama... talk to her. Fix her!

Alright, Vinton, just go
get changed for work.

I'll deal with this.

Mr. Harper seems a little upset.

Naomi... you know that
Mr. Harper, uh, Vinton,

is your husband, don't you?

Well, I've heard that, yes.

Well, then you're aware
that there are certain

wifely duties that he
expects you to perform?

Like what? I'm gonna
clean up the basement.

What more could he want? Ah...

Boy, that door must have
really whacked you good.

You see, I want
to be a good wife,

but I just don't know
what that means.

Well, sweetie, bein' a good wife

means different things
to different people.

But what does it mean to us?

- "To us?"
- Well, you and me.

We have so much in common.

We did get along
well, didn't we?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Just like peaches and cream.

I thought so.

So, tell me everything.
What was I like?

Well, you wouldn't do a lick...

Well, actually...

you were a house-cleanin' whizz.

You would come home
from work every night

and help me with
dinner no matter

how much I begged you not to.

And then you would clear the
dishes and clean them all up

and leave my
kitchen neat as a pin.

Is any of this startin' to
come back to you, sweetie?

Not really.

Tell me, what did I like better?

Cookin', cleanin' or ironin'?

Oh, that's hard to say.
You loved them all so...

Of course, the one
chore that you could

never get enough of...

was cleanin' toilets.

Mmm, Naomi, whatever you
got cookin' in the oven for dinner

smells delicious.

Oh, why, thank you, Miss Harper.

It's just a simple
duck a l'orange

with haricots verts, avec des
amandes et pommes anna.

Grandma, where
are my ironed shirts?

- Naomi?
- Oh.

Bubba, I hung them on
the right side of your closet.

And while I had the iron out,
I touched up your underwear

and your gym socks too.

Thanks.

And I straightened out
your dresser drawers

so please leave them that way.

Yeah, sure.

Naomi, my purple dress could use

a little skim of the iron

when you get a minute.

Okay, Mother Harper,
I'll put that on my list.

Thanks, hon.

Oh, Mother Harper, look.

You put that cup down
without a saucer underneath it

and left a little stain.

Please don't do that
again. Now, shame on you.

I'm so sorry. I guess
I just didn't think.

- Knock, knock!
- Hi, Iola.

Hi, I.

Hello, Naomi.

I was so hopin' that
you'd come over today

that I whipped up a pecan pie.

It's delicious too.

Oh. I see.

Well, what you got there, I?

Well, I baked you
some banana-nut buns,

but I guess if you already
have a delicious pecan pie...

Yeah, why don't you just
run them suckers on home?

Stick 'em in your freezer.

You know, if you put
them in a Ziploc bag

they'll freeze like a dream.

Yes, I know.

Well, sit down, I.

Naomi, run, get her a
piece of your delicious pie.

With pleasure, Mother Harper.

And I'm going to bring
out some fresh coffee too

because this is ten minutes old.

Thelma, how long is this gonna
go on? It's been three days.

I don't see any signs
of the old Naomi at all.

Yeah, I know, I
guess it's somethin'

we're just gonna have
to learn to live with.

What's holdin' up
that coffee, Naomi?

Coming right up.

Nice, fresh-brewed coffee

and a warm slice of pie

fresh from the oven.

Thank you, Naomi.

Oh, shoot, I forgot the napkins.

Oh, I'll run, get the
happy-rainbow napkin holder.

No need, Iola.

We never use paper napkins.

- You don't?
- Mm-mm.

Naomi insists on cloth.

She cleans and presses
them after every single meal.

She just even made
the most adorable

little napkin rings for 'em.

She makes handicrafts, too?

Oh, it's nothin' fancy.

Just hand-painted
porcelain rings.

They were in this month's
issue of "Ladies' Circle."

It's even got my name on it.

I made one for your mother too

but it's still in the kiln.

I've suddenly lost my appetite.

I think I'd better
be goin' home.

Oh, come on, I. Stay and chat.

No, thank you, I
prefer to go home...

and freeze my buns.

- Hi, Iola.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, mama.

- Hey, baby.
- Afternoon, Vinton.

Look, Skeeter...
I-I mean, Naomi.

I bought you a little present.

- Oh, how thoughtful.
- What's the special occasion?

Well, I was hopin' this
might bring back her memory.

Oh, I'm afraid the store has
made some dreadful mistake.

This couldn't
possibly be for me.

Oh, it's no mistake. I
spent days pickin' it out.

It's you, alright.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. It isn't.

Oh, yes, it is!

Mama, tell her it's her!

Oh, I don't know, Vinton.

This is the new, improved Naomi.

Maybe you could get
them to exchange that

for flannel jammies
with the feet in.

Forget it, mama,
she's gonna love this

the minute she slips it on.

Now, come on, hon,
let's go downstairs

and I'll light the incense
and... turn on the lava lamp.

Ew!

Do I have to, Mother Harper?

I wouldn't think so, sweetie.
Certainly not before dark.

Oh.

Aunt Naomi, when you
were cleanin' my room

what did you do with
my science project?

What science project?

The strata of Raytown.

It was in a glass case
on top of my dresser.

Oh, I thought that was
a dirty-old fish tank,

so I cleaned it up
and put it there.

- What?
- Oh.

So that's where you
got that aquarium.

Grandma, there are fish
swimming in my strata.

Yeah, I know. Susie and Mikey.

Susie is the one with
the big set of gills.

Oh, Aunt Naomi, how
could you do this to me?

This is due tomorrow.

Well, how was I
supposed to know, Bubba?

I've had amnesia.

Oh, brother.

Knock, knock.

Thelma, here are the
squares I was saving

to make a quilt
for your bedroom.

I thought, since
Naomi is such a whizz

she could just
whip it up herself.

Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, look, Mr. Harper,
aren't they pretty?

Thank you so much, I.

Thelma, this has
gone on long enough.

I can't even insult the woman.

Well, what are you
complainin' about?

Thanks to Aunt Naomi, I'm
gonna get an F in science.

Well, what about me?

Susie and Mikey get
more affection than I do.

Now, just a damn minute here!

This poor girl is havin'
to start her life over

from scratch. She
is not to blame.

That's right. I'm doing
the best that I can.

Thank goodness, I've
had Mother Harper here

to tell me exactly
how to behave.

- What?
- Well...

Now, Naomi, let's
not exaggerate.

Oh, I'm not exaggerating.

She has literally spent hours
fillin' me in on who I was.

Why, I wouldn't be
the person I am today

without Mother Harper.

Just what have you been
tellin' her, Mother Harper?

Oh, Naomi, you know what?

I believe that orange,
uh, duck of yours

is probably just about ready
to come out of the oven.

I'll just, uh, I'll
run, go check.

Alright, I'll come along
and help you. Mm-hm.

Excuse me.

Mama, get back in here!

Oh, Miss Harper?

- Ha!
- Oh!

- Naomi.
- Oh, no!

Grandma, you did it again!

Mama, how could you?

Well, you're the
fool that told me

to come back out!

Oh, honey, what
happened? My head hurts.

Oh, give your Skeeter a kiss

and make it better.

"Skeeter?" You mean it?

Well, of course I do,
honey. Now, come on.

My head is killing me.

Oh, poor baby.

Good Lord, Vinton, she
doesn't need mouth-to-mouth.

Miss Harper, my big, strong man

can love me anytime he pleases!

So, ha-ha to you, mama.

Hm, come on, Skeeter. Here.

Shoot. I knew it
was too good to last.

- Well, welcome back, Naomi.
- Yeah.

Too bad you didn't
get here earlier.

What are you
talking about, Bubba?

I haven't been anywhere.

Wow.

What a fabulous babydoll!

Is this for me?

Who else?

Now, what do you
say we go downstairs

and you can... try it on?

Ooh.

Oh, not tonight, baby.

I have a headache.

Well, what do you
know about that?

Looks like Mother Harper
knocked some sense

into you after all.