Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 4, Episode 14 - The Sins of the Mother - full transcript

When Bubba comes home drunk one night, Mama punishes him severely the next day. The family is mystified by Mama's harsh attitude, until Iola explains that this stems from a humiliating incident involving Bubba's mother, Eunice, getting drunk as a teenager.

Oh, mama, caught
you raidin' the icebox.

Good Lord, Vinton.

You just took 10
years off my life.

At my age, that's serious.

What you doin' up
this late, Ms. Harper?

I can't go to sleep until I know
my family is home safe in bed.

It's not like Bubba to
stay out late without callin'.

I know. I'm just
worried to death.

I keep seein' him lyin'
out on Route 5 somewhere

next to an overturned
car with its wheels spinnin'.

Lord, I was a fool to watch
that film in traffic school.



Now, Ms. Harper, there's
no need to get all worked up.

How can you sit there feedin'
your face when my grandson

may be out there
breathin' his last?

What will I tell his mother?

"Sorry, Eunice. I let him
run wild, and now he's gone."

Mama, calm down.

I'm sure there's a
logical explanation.

Oh, there he is. Thank
you, Lord. He's safe.

See you later, knucklehead's
Who's number one?

Don't you forget it.

Shh. Shh.

Well, if it isn't Larry,
Moe, and Curly.

Bubba Higgins.

Uh, I was just kiddin', grandma.



Good Lord. You've
been drinkin' beer.

I told her, there was
a logical explanation.

Alright, mister. Just
where have you been?

Take it easy, grandma.

Me and a couple guys
just went over to Dwayne's

after the big game to celebrate.

- The Ravens beat the Muskrats?
- By 30 points.

- Oh, way to go Ravens.
- Will you two knock it off?

I don't care if they
beat the Lakers.

How dare you come
home smellin' of alcohol?

Oh, grandma we just had
some beer in Dwayne's rec room.

Then his dad chewed us out.
He's the one who drove me home.

Well, at least
you weren't drivin'.

- I guess there's no harm done.
- That's the way I see it.

- Let me tell you how I see it.
- Ow.

You'll be lucky to
see the light of day.

I'll teach you a lesson
you'll never forget.

Grandma, we were
just havin' a little fun.

It's not like I'm drunk.

Quit breathin' on me,
you boozed-up bum.

You are much too young
to pull a stunt like this.

- Alcohol and acne do not mix.
- But grandma...

But nothin', mister.
You are in big trouble.

Now, everybody,
just get the hell to bed.

I'll deal with this in the
mornin' when I cool down.

Who the hell does that
little snot think he is?

Not in my house.

No, sire. Not under my roof.

Boy, I'm sure glad she
waited till she cooled down.

Good Lord, Vinton.
Do you have to slurp?

I swear, barnyard
animals make less noise.

I don't know why I
bother giving you a cup.

I oughta just
pour it in a trough.

Ms. Harper, aren't we
gonna wait for Bubba?

If that party animal thinks
I'm gonna fix his breakfast

he's got another thing comin'.

Morning.

Well, his majesty has finally

awakened from his royal stupor.

Now, I suppose he
would like his breakfast.

No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

Oh, yeah?

You'll eat it,
and you'll like it.

Ew. Is that my punishment?

Don't you wish.

I hope you enjoyed
your wingding last night

'cause it's gonna
cost you plenty.

I'm groundin' you
for four weeks.

Four weeks? Get real, grandma.

A smart mouth will get you five.

But I gotta swim
meet this Saturday.

You should've thought of
that before you broke trainin'.

You can't do this to me.

- Knock, knock.
- Wanna bet?

Have I come at a bad time?

Hell, no. Just another
carefree mornin'

in here at the Harper house.

Good. Hi, all.

- Hi, Vint.
- Iola.

Did y'all hear that
big commotion

last night about 1:00 a.m.?

Uh, no.

No, we didn't hear nothin'.

Really? Well There was screamin'
and yellin' and horn-honkin'.

The whole neighborhood
is up in arms.

That's it, mister. Six weeks.

Grandma.

Oh, come on, mama.

All's he had was a
couple of brewskis.

Yeah, Ms. Harper, and
he said he was sorry.

Besides, who didn't
experiment with alcohol

when they were teenagers?

Me.

Oh, butt out, Iola.

Come on, grandma.

You sure drink plenty of beer.

Well, when you get to be my age

you can drink all the beer you
want, and I won't say a word.

Six weeks.

There goes my spot
on the swim team.

There goes my letter jacket.

There goes my one big
chance to be somebody.

My life is over. I
hope you're happy.

Oh, don't you sound
just like your mother.

I guess the apple don't
fall far from the tree.

It does if the tree's
planted on a hill.

Will you stay out of this?

Oh, have a heart, Ms. Harper.
Let him go to his swim meet.

Yes, Thelma. I don't think
the punishment fits the crime.

Didn't somebody just
tell you to butt out?

I know what I'm doin' here.

If I was strict with Eunice

she wouldn't have ended up
the pathetic mess she is today.

What's my mother
gotta do with all this?

The subject is closed.

Don't worry, Bubba.

Mama's gonna give
in. She always does.

Take it from me,
the woman is all talk.

What you've got to
remember is you...

Never drink alcohol ever again.

What were you thinking?

The way I see it, you
got off easy, mister. Huh.

The only thing I hate worse
than a boozer is a lily-liver.

Oh, I've never seen mama so mad.

Or so unreasonable.

Boy, I really sent her
on the warpath this time.

Oh, don't take all
the credit, Bubba.

A lot of that anger has
to do with your mother.

Yeah, what was she
rattling on about Eunice for?

I think Thelma was reminded

of the most embarrassing
moment of her life.

You mean when the
mailman saw her naked?

No.

No, this happened
a long time ago

when your mother was
about your age, Bubba.

What happened, Ms. Boylen?

It was the mother-daughter
banquet at the church.

You remember, Vint.

No. I wasn't invited to that.

I know that, but you were
right here in this kitchen

when the nightmare began.

How could you forget?

It was the morning
of the banquet.

It was a beautiful spring day.

Ah, Vinton, isn't it a
beautiful spring day?

It sure is, mama.

Vinton, baby, that's the
way barnyard animals drink.

You don't want mama to pour
your Ovaltine into a trough, now?

Mama, you're so funny.

Knock, knock. Hi, Mrs. Harper.

Hi, Vint.

Hi, Iola.

Doesn't he make the
cutest noise when he drinks?

Adorable.

Mother was wondering if I
could go with you to the banquet.

What happened,
she can't make it?

Her rashes flared up again,
and she's taken to her bed.

Oh, what a shame.

I was hoping for a
change to see her

in something besides her kimono.

Can I go with you and Eunice?

Sure you can, sweetie.

Can I go too, mama?

Vinton, I've explained
all of this to you before.

It's just for mothers
and daughters.

But why can't I go?

Vinton, sit down.

Alright, I don't
want to go anyway.

Who wants to hear
Eunice sing? Yuck.

But you're also
gonna miss my poem

and felt-board demonstration of

"Great Mothers In History."

Don't make him
feel any worse, Iola.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

You won't believe
what's happened.

You won't believe it.
You won't believe it.

Eunice, you're hyperventilating.

Take a couple of deep
breaths before you black out.

Mama, I have been
invited on a picnic

with Connie and Audrey
and Penny Perkins.

And, mum, Duke Reeves
is gonna be there, oh.

Duke Reeves?

I don't like you hanging
out with them rich kids.

- They seem awfully fast.
- Oh, they are not.

They're just fun
and exciting and in.

Well, then, what do
they want with you?

I don't have time for
your sarcasm, mama.

I have sandwiches to make.

Penny put me in
charge of the food.

Oh, now I get it.

Those stuck-up little snobs

needed a patsy
to make their lunch.

I don't care why they
invited me, mama.

I'd wash their cars to spend
the afternoon with Duke.

The afternoon?
Just a minute, here.

What about our
mother-daughter banquet?

We've to rehearse your number.

Oh, really, mama.

How can you compare an
afternoon with Duke Reeves

to a lousy
mother-daughter banquet?

It isn't lousy.

At the end, they pass out
paper cups with mints in them.

Oh, butt out, Iola.

Vinton, why don't you and
Iola go to the living room?

Let Eunice and me
finish our discussion here.

What's the difference?

We can hear you
yelling from there.

Bye, sweeties.

Now, you listen
here to me, missy.

You begged me to get
you to sing on this program.

I had to lie to that
God-awful, Eulalie Griswold

and tell her you
had a beautiful voice.

You're not about to back
out of this to spend it with kids

who don't even care about you.

And just how do you
know that, mama?

Did you go to Ray's Malt
shop and take a survey?

You just can't believe I
could be popular, can you?

You'd do a lot better

if you got yourself
a decent hairdo

and crossed your
ankles when you sat.

Oh, mum, don't you see?

This is my chance.

My one chance
to show I belong...

to be somebody.

Oh, maybe I'll never
get Duke Reeves

but I wanna be able to
say I had the chance. Oh.

Lord, Eunice, I
think you've seen

one Joan Crawford
movie too many.

Please, mom. Please.

Oh, alright.

Get back in time
for the banquet.

Mama, mama, you're
wonderful. You won't regret it.

You're the best mom
in the whole wide world.

And today when I sing

"M is for the million
things she gave me"

it'll come right from the heart.

Well, better from there
than your vocal cords.

And now we will
hear a recitation

from little Iola Boylen

entitled "Mothers
Throughout History."

We would not be here, you and I

but for those
ladies long gone by.

Who gave their
children love and grace

to make the world
a better place.

And now begins a list of the

famous mothers
throughout history...

Thelma, where is Eunice?

- She's on next.
- Calm down, Eulalie.

I'm sure she'll be here soon.

That's what you said
before our chicken a la King.

We are down to our mint
cups. Now, where is Eunice?

Oh, there's that nice,
young Duke Reeves.

I bet he just dropped her
off. Told you not to worry.

Where is my daughter, you scum?

Uh, she's out in
the hall, Ms. Harper.

She's not feeling too well.

Oh, no. Was it
something she ate?

No. It was something she drank.

Duke, you scamp. I
wondered where you were.

Well, mama, here I am.

Your little songbird
has arrived.

Good, Lord. I think my songbird
is about to be a dead duck.

How dare you show
up here in this condition?

You're supposed to
sing in front of them.

I had a couple of beers
to loosen up my throat.

Dean Martin
does it all the time.

Eunice, you're in a church
basement, not the Copacabana.

Sit down, and drink some coffee

and try to sober up.

Really, mama, I
am perfectly sober.

Oh, hi, Ms. Griswold.

Now, Duke, don't you leave.
I want you to hear me sing.

I can't stay, Ms. Harper.

My girlfriend, Penny,
is waiting for me.

You listen to me, you
country-club Casanova.

If you ever come
near my daughter again

I swear, your little rich butt

isn't gonna be
worth one plug nickel.

She was brave
and strong to boot.

She taught her kids
to fight and shoot.

And save their money
when times got darker

so they'd rob and kill
for their dear Ma Barker.

Eunice, drink some more coffee.

I am fine. Where's Duke?

He had to go.

But he wanted to hear me sing.

What did you say to him?
Did you make him leave?

For your information
he had to get back

to his girlfriend, Penny.

That is an out-and-out lie.
He came to hear me sing.

He came to drop off the lush.

- You take that back!
- Sit down, Eunice.

I'm gonna kill you.

They've only to give to
both sisters and brothers

to stand at the fabulous
history of mothers.

And a wonderful history it was.

Thank you. Thank you, Iola.

And now, to close our program

a mother and daughter
making beautiful music together,

Thelma and Eunice Harper.

Our song is dedicated
to mothers everywhere.

♪♪ M is for... ♪♪

I know how it goes. Butt out.

♪♪ "M" is for the million
things she gave me ♪♪♪♪

Ha.

What a joke.

Let me tell you a few
of the million things

my mama gave me.

An inferiority complex for one.

Eunice, sit down.

She's not feeling very well.

How am I supposed to feel

when my own mama drives
away the only man I ever loved?

She is delirious.

I think it's that flu
that's going around.

The man I want to
share my life with

my dreams with, my bed with.

She always shares her
bed with her sister Ellen.

Let’s go and get some rest.

Don't try to pull that
sweet mother act.

You don't love me,
and you never have.

Fine, you
ungrateful little brat.

All my life all I've
done is give to you

and what have I got to show?

Stretch marks and a heartache.

I didn't ask to be born.

If your daddy hadn't gotten me

as drunk as you are now,
you never would've been.

Thelma, I want this
spectacle stopped at once.

Oh, sit down and shut
up, you lavender dragon.

You wanted a
mother-daughter show.

Well, by golly, you've got one.

Now, you listen
here to me, missy.

My name isn't
missy. It's Eunice.

Your name is mud.

Do you know that old bat is
gonna spread this all over town?

Well, they kept right on
fighting through the mint cup

and the door prize and
even the closing prayer.

That is awful.

That's the most humiliating
story I've ever heard.

Poor Thelma was so ashamed

she didn't go back to
church for six months.

And even then, some of
those women just cut her dead.

Yeah, and things
were never the same

between mama and Eunice again.

Wow.

No wonder she was so
upset about my drinking.

I think maybe I
better go talk to her.

Hi, grandma.

What are you doing?

The Charleston, Bubba.

What does it look
like I'm doing?

Well, I-I want you to know that

I'm real sorry about
what happened last night

and it won't ever happen again.

If you think it's gonna
save you from punishment

you're sadly mistaken.

I know it won't and that's okay.

You gotta do what
you think is best.

Damn right.

Alcohol is not something for
you to be messing around with.

Especially at your age.

You can get hurt.

Worse than that, you could
hurt the people who love you.

Yeah, well, I've got
the scars to prove that.

Please believe me, grandma.

You're the last person
I ever wanna hurt.

I believe you, baby.

Alright, Bubba, I guess you
better get on down to the gym

before coach
throws a conniption.

Grandma, do you mean it?

Yes, you'll have to
swim at least 200 laps

to work off that beer gut.

You bet, grandma.

And thanks.

Alright, Bubba.

You remember when
you win that swim meet

the only beer were
gonna be celebrating with

is root beer.