Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 4, Episode 13 - A Room with No View - full transcript
"All new lemon scent."
That's just what I always wanted
a fruit-flavored fryin' pan.
Grandma, you've been
upstairs cleanin' my room again.
I can't find my drumsticks.
T-Boy and Dwayne
will be here any minute
to audition me for their band.
Don't tell me you are
still hangin' around
with those juvenile misfits.
Come on, once you get to know
T-Boy and Dwayne
you're gonna love 'em.
Bubba, don't ever mix me,
love, and them two goons
in the same sentence.
Well, I gotta find
those drumsticks.
Well, good Lord!
This new Jane Russell girdle
has got a mind of its own.
Well... well, all I
did was bend over
and it's gone from a
long line to a bikini brief.
- Mornin', Ms. Harper!
- Mornin', Ms. Harper!
Well, what are you
two goons doin' in here?
Bubba, the village
idiots are here!
Washin' dishes, Mrs. Harper?
No, Dwayne, she's testin'
rubber gloves for the government.
Bubba!
Grandma, where'd
you put my drumsticks?
You gotta quit rearrangin'
my room like-like it was yours.
I do no such thing.
I may tidy up a little
bit but your room
is yours to do
with as you please.
Come on, guys.
Let's go upstairs.
Oh, no. I just cleaned up there.
Where am I supposed
to take my friends?
Anywhere but here.
Don't you know a
gutter or a junkyard
where you can hang out?
Hey, we can go to my house.
We got a gutter and a junkyard!
Wonderful. Goodbye.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Have fun.
Don't feel the
need to rush home.
Lord! They can send a
baboon into outer space.
Why not a teenage boy?
Ooh, Thelma,
everything looks so good.
Yeah. Sure does, Mama.
I was... ah... Ah..
Ah, ah..
False alarm.
Good, Lord, Vinton,
go get a Kleenex!
It's like eatin' under
mount St. Helens.
Well, whatever he has
got is entirely your fault
for making us live
in the basement.
Those damp walls are a
breeding ground for disease.
Boy, if I could only sneeze.
What are you complainin'
about? You two have it made.
A germ couldn't
survive up in my room.
The way she
cleans, it's like livin'
in one of those plastic bubbles.
You watch it, mister, or you're
gonna get that bubble busted!
Pass the peas, please.
What are you complainin'
about for anyway, Bubba?
I'm the one who's treated
like a second-class citizen here.
At least you are a citizen!
Grandma doesn't
give me any rights.
You have the right
to remain silent.
I can't take any more of this.
Baby, you told me that living
in that basement
was only temporary.
Yeah, Vinton. You
told me the same thing.
We'd have that upstairs
room if it wasn't for Bubba.
Pass the Tater Tots, please.
What are you blamin' me for?
I didn't ask to be up there.
That's where she put me!
I'm sick and tired
of livin' up there.
Yeah, well, at least
you're above ground!
Fine, if you bellyachers
are so unhappy
with your livin' conditions
then why don't
you get the hell out?
And don't let the screen
door hit you as you leave!
Oh, this is just awful.
If you don't like the damn
potatoes, don't eat 'em!
Thelma, this goes
way beyond Tater Tots.
You are a family in crisis.
The same thing happened
to us a while back.
Daddy had begun
to question life.
That was before they
changed mother's medication.
Uh, was that about
the time that your daddy
started buildin' that tower
out of bottle caps
in your backyard?
Twin towers, actually,
one regular, one sugar-free.
Does this story have an end?
It ended with us
gettin' family counselin'.
And believe me,
it saved our lives.
W-what do you mean
"family counselin'?"
You know, somebody
butts into your life
and tells you what to do.
Well, hardly, Thelma.
A counselor encourages
family members
to air their grievances without
bein' belittled or ridiculed.
What's the point in that?
The point is if you
want a happy family
you got to have give-and-take.
Yeah, we sure could use a
little give-and-take around here.
Yeah. How does it work?
Well, Vint, uh, I could
act as the counselor
if that's alright
with you, Thelma?
You can act like
the Queen of Sheba
if it'll get them to shut up.
Very well.
Uh-h-h, Bubba, why
don't you go first?
Well, I don't know about
the rest of the family
but I feel like I'm
livin' in a jail cell.
I feel like my every
move is bein' watched.
And no matter what
I do she corrects me!
If he calls me she one more time
he is goin' to get it!
Now, Thelma, that was
Bubba's turn to vent his feelings.
Oh, well, fine. Very
well. Go ahead, vent.
Oh, is it my turn?
- Uh...
- No, Vint.
Why don't we hear from Naomi?
Alright, except I've
got so much to say
I hardly know where to begin.
Oh, just begin at the beginnin'.
Right. It all started
when I was five years old.
It was winter and my mama
took me on a long train ride
to go to my Aunt
Doreen's funeral.
What does this have to do
with your dead Aunt Doreen?
Well, for one thing, we
both ended up underground!
I can't stand livin'
in that basement!
It's like being buried alive
in some moldy mausoleum!
Thank you for sharin',
Naomi. Uh, Vint?
Huh?
Vent, Vint!
Now? Oh.
Well, uh... Naomi
is real unhappy.
And Mama's real unhappy,
and Bubba's real unhappy.
Well, that's fine, Vint. But what
about you? How do you feel?
Well... I'd feel a lot better
if only I could sneeze.
Shut up, you goon! It's my turn!
Alright, Thelma. Go ahead.
Well, I think my problem can
be summed up in three words
in... grati... tude!
Outta kindness of a
mother's heart I take in
these homeless
leeches. What do I get?
My room's too cold,
my room's too damp
my room's too clean!
If they lived in the Taj Mahal
they'd complain about the tile!
Well, it seems to me
everyone is unhappy about
their livin' arrangements.
Perhaps a simple change
of venue is in order.
Yeah, better yet, why
don't we just switch rooms?
Oh, no. Now, just a minute.
Nobody's goin' anywhere
without my say-so.
Oh, now, Thelma, in a harmonious
family, everyone gets a vote.
- Yeah! Let's put it to a vote.
- Yeah.
All those in favor
of switchin' rooms?
Aye!
- Opposed?
- Nay!
The motion carries.
Way to go! Free at last.
Oh, baby, we're gonna
have a view of the driveway.
- Let's start movin' tonight.
- Now, just a damn minute here.
I'll not have my house
turned upside down
just so my family
can be comfortable!
I'm awfully sorry, Thelma,
but the vote has been taken.
But thank you for sharin'.
Well, share this, doc! I got
me a lotta rearrangin' to do here.
If you don't get outta my
sight, I'll start with your face!
Now, before we rush
into things, I think you two
ought to give this switching
rooms some long, hard thought.
Hurry up, baby, your
cold will be a lot better
as soon as we get
up out of this damp.
Comin', skeeter.
Vinton, that is way
too many boxes.
Ah, don't... Don't worry,
Mama. I'll be just fine.
I'll be fine. B-Bubba!
Sorry, Uncle Vint.
There.
You better hope you
didn't break my night light.
And to think that
man uses power tools.
Aw, shoot!
Uncle Vint bent
Heather's handlebars.
Oh, no, you don't.
I ain't gonna have
that pornographic
paper doll in my basement.
Grandma, it's my room now.
- Remember, give-and-take.
- Don't remind me.
I guess this mattress
has had enough airin' out.
Good evenin', Ms. Harper.
Good Lord!
You know you got a lot of
great mold growin' back here?
Don't you think it's time
you two went home?
- No, ma'am.
- No, ma'am.
Our parents don't like us
to come home while
they're still awake.
Will you get out of here?
Grandma, they're
my guests in my room.
We've got a lot of guy
stuff to talk about. In private.
Well, fine, I don't
wanna hear any of it
and neither does Heather.
Come on, sweetie pie,
let's go find you a housecoat.
Well, guys, what do you think?
This is really ripe, dude!
With our own band
we can get girls
to do anything we want.
Yeah, a guy once told
me that a heavy bass line
it does somethin'
to a girl's hormones.
The same guy that
told you Cherry Cokes
would clear up your skin?
Guys, this is gonna be so cool.
We're gonna be
rock 'n' roll stars.
Yeah, and this place
will be groupie heaven.
Dwayne, T-Boy
they're playin' the
national anthem on TV!
I don't want to see you
by dawn's early light.
Great. I forgot about grandma.
She won't let us
have a band here.
She won't even let me
have a cardboard girl.
Bubba, she's way upstairs.
What she doesn't
know won't hurt her.
Yeah, she's probably
hard of hearin', anyway.
The hell she is! You quit that
whisperin' and get on home!
Good mornin', Ms. Harper.
Touch me and die.
My goodness, somebody woke up
on the wrong side of
the bed this mornin'.
That is because somebody
didn't get a wink of sleep
thanks to all the
heavy breathin' goin' on
in the room next door.
Well, much as I would love
to stay and chitchat about it
I have to run upstairs
and take my man his
mornin' cup of coffee.
Don't you think you've
done enough for him already?
Lord, at least it'll give me
a few minutes of
peace and quiet.
Bubba-a-a!
You want heavy metal?
I'll give you heavy metal!
Cut that damn
racket out this instant!
Knock it off, you
pencil-necked geeks!
Is there a problem, Ms. Harper?
You bet there is, pizza face.
One more note and I'm gonna
kick your amps to kingdom come.
Grandma, we gotta rehearse.
- Then rehearse at their house.
- We can't.
Power's been turned
off at our house
for the last six weeks.
They're puttin' new
tar paper on our place.
- Get out!
- Wait a minute, you guys.
You're not goin' anywhere.
I'm sorry, grandma,
but this is my room now,
and I can do whatever
I want. We voted!
I see.
Well, Bubba..
I guess if you wanna
have your band here
then I'm powerless to stop you.
Don't give a thought for all
the things I've done for you,
feedin' you, clothin'
you... feedin' you!
Just never you mind my feelings.
Go ahead and make
all the noise you please.
If you wanna send your poor,
old, widowed grandmother
out of her home and into
an early grave, then so be it.
- Play on.
- One, two, three, four!
Hello!
What noise?
Well, now that you mention
it, I do hear something.
No, it's not comin'
from our house.
You know, I think Iola
Boylen bought a new stereo!
Why don't you give
a call over there?
Okay! Bye-bye!
Honey, the neighbors
are forming a posse!
You've got to go downstairs
and tell Bubba to stop!
Stoppin' people from
havin' fun is Mama's job.
Well, where is your mama?
She's been gone all day!
And I can't take
much more of this!
Oh. Okay, skeeter.
Since Mama's gone
I guess I'll have to be
the man of the house.
Let 'em have it, baby!
Knock, knock!
I want that music
stopped at once!
Oh, thank you.
Isn't it awful, Iola?
I feel like I'm about
to jump outta my skin.
My phone is
ringin' off the hook.
For some reason
all the neighbors
think it's my stereo.
Imagine that.
It's like livin' in a foundry!
Bubba, you got to
knock off the noise.
- It's music!
- It is decibel hell!
Why is everybody
gangin' up on me?
I'm just an artist tryin'
to express myself.
Then why don't you
become a mime?
Oh, here's Mama.
Boy, you're in big
trouble now, Bubba.
Did you hear the way
she slammed that door?
- This isn't gonna be pretty.
- Yeah.
We're tellin' and
you're gonna get it.
Yeah!
Hello, all.
I can't remember when I've
had such a wonderful day.
Mama, where have you been?
Oh, I took me a
nice leisurely stroll
through the arboretum.
I spent two solid hours
in that new Zen garden.
Did you know that
every single rock
has a personality all its own?
I think I like the igneous best.
Thelma, you spent
all this time at a park?
Yes, and I have discovered
there's a whole world
outside of this house.
All of it's callin' up here
to tell us to stop the noise!
That's right. Mama, you got
to make Bubba stop his band.
Me? Well, who am I
to tell anybody to stop?
- We gotta put it to a vote.
- Oh, good idea.
I knew she'd tell us what to do.
All those in favor of
Bubba not havin' the band?
Aye!
- All those opposed.
- Nay!
- Nay!
- Nay too!
No, no. No fair.
They're not part of the family.
Well, neither is Ms. Boylen.
Point of order. Only family
members should have a vote.
Iola, you go on in the kitchen.
Take the Beastie Boys with you.
Great idea. Come on, Ms. Boylen.
Yeah, we can throw
baloney on the ceilin'
and see if it sticks.
The one time I left home
without my can of Mace.
Now, where were we?
- We were votin'!
- And you were losin'!
Yeah! Three against one!
Now, wait a minute, Vinton.
I have not yet cast my vote.
Don't tell me you're thinkin'
of votin' for Bubba's band?
Well, actually, I'm undecided.
At this point, I
could go either way.
Of course, I could be lobbied.
Grandma, if you vote on my side,
I'll let you come
and clean my room
any time you want.
Ms. Harper, if you vote with us,
Vinton and I will do
the laundry from now on.
- It's the ironin' I hate.
- We'll do that too.
I'll be in bed by ten
o'clock on weekends!
Alright!
No more heavy breathing!
You won't hear a
peep out of us all night.
No more peepin'?
- No more peeping.
- Bingo!
I'm gonna have to go
with a good night's sleep.
That's three against one.
- We won!
- Yeah, we won. We won.
Ain't democracy grand?
This way everybody's
gonna be happy.
Bubba will be downstairs
in the basement,
quietly doin' his homework.
Vinton and Naomi
will be upstairs
ironin' instead of peepin'.
Wait just a minute here!
I think the only winner in
this house is your mama!
Yeah, I don't wanna stay
down in that dingy basement
if I can't have my band.
Yeah, what's the sense
in havin' that big bedroom
if we can't peep?
Just a minute! We
voted fair and square!
Well, we can just vote again!
Everybody in favor of
returnin' to their original rooms?
Aye!
Oh, darn, I lost.
Shoot.
Looks like you tricked
the old lady again.
Oh, come on, baby.
Muah! Let's get goin'!
Yeah, I'm ready to
start movin' right now.
Well, Mama, I guess now you know
who's the political
power in this family.
Big deal, Vinton, you may
have the political power
but I am still
speaker of the house.
That's just what I always wanted
a fruit-flavored fryin' pan.
Grandma, you've been
upstairs cleanin' my room again.
I can't find my drumsticks.
T-Boy and Dwayne
will be here any minute
to audition me for their band.
Don't tell me you are
still hangin' around
with those juvenile misfits.
Come on, once you get to know
T-Boy and Dwayne
you're gonna love 'em.
Bubba, don't ever mix me,
love, and them two goons
in the same sentence.
Well, I gotta find
those drumsticks.
Well, good Lord!
This new Jane Russell girdle
has got a mind of its own.
Well... well, all I
did was bend over
and it's gone from a
long line to a bikini brief.
- Mornin', Ms. Harper!
- Mornin', Ms. Harper!
Well, what are you
two goons doin' in here?
Bubba, the village
idiots are here!
Washin' dishes, Mrs. Harper?
No, Dwayne, she's testin'
rubber gloves for the government.
Bubba!
Grandma, where'd
you put my drumsticks?
You gotta quit rearrangin'
my room like-like it was yours.
I do no such thing.
I may tidy up a little
bit but your room
is yours to do
with as you please.
Come on, guys.
Let's go upstairs.
Oh, no. I just cleaned up there.
Where am I supposed
to take my friends?
Anywhere but here.
Don't you know a
gutter or a junkyard
where you can hang out?
Hey, we can go to my house.
We got a gutter and a junkyard!
Wonderful. Goodbye.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Have fun.
Don't feel the
need to rush home.
Lord! They can send a
baboon into outer space.
Why not a teenage boy?
Ooh, Thelma,
everything looks so good.
Yeah. Sure does, Mama.
I was... ah... Ah..
Ah, ah..
False alarm.
Good, Lord, Vinton,
go get a Kleenex!
It's like eatin' under
mount St. Helens.
Well, whatever he has
got is entirely your fault
for making us live
in the basement.
Those damp walls are a
breeding ground for disease.
Boy, if I could only sneeze.
What are you complainin'
about? You two have it made.
A germ couldn't
survive up in my room.
The way she
cleans, it's like livin'
in one of those plastic bubbles.
You watch it, mister, or you're
gonna get that bubble busted!
Pass the peas, please.
What are you complainin'
about for anyway, Bubba?
I'm the one who's treated
like a second-class citizen here.
At least you are a citizen!
Grandma doesn't
give me any rights.
You have the right
to remain silent.
I can't take any more of this.
Baby, you told me that living
in that basement
was only temporary.
Yeah, Vinton. You
told me the same thing.
We'd have that upstairs
room if it wasn't for Bubba.
Pass the Tater Tots, please.
What are you blamin' me for?
I didn't ask to be up there.
That's where she put me!
I'm sick and tired
of livin' up there.
Yeah, well, at least
you're above ground!
Fine, if you bellyachers
are so unhappy
with your livin' conditions
then why don't
you get the hell out?
And don't let the screen
door hit you as you leave!
Oh, this is just awful.
If you don't like the damn
potatoes, don't eat 'em!
Thelma, this goes
way beyond Tater Tots.
You are a family in crisis.
The same thing happened
to us a while back.
Daddy had begun
to question life.
That was before they
changed mother's medication.
Uh, was that about
the time that your daddy
started buildin' that tower
out of bottle caps
in your backyard?
Twin towers, actually,
one regular, one sugar-free.
Does this story have an end?
It ended with us
gettin' family counselin'.
And believe me,
it saved our lives.
W-what do you mean
"family counselin'?"
You know, somebody
butts into your life
and tells you what to do.
Well, hardly, Thelma.
A counselor encourages
family members
to air their grievances without
bein' belittled or ridiculed.
What's the point in that?
The point is if you
want a happy family
you got to have give-and-take.
Yeah, we sure could use a
little give-and-take around here.
Yeah. How does it work?
Well, Vint, uh, I could
act as the counselor
if that's alright
with you, Thelma?
You can act like
the Queen of Sheba
if it'll get them to shut up.
Very well.
Uh-h-h, Bubba, why
don't you go first?
Well, I don't know about
the rest of the family
but I feel like I'm
livin' in a jail cell.
I feel like my every
move is bein' watched.
And no matter what
I do she corrects me!
If he calls me she one more time
he is goin' to get it!
Now, Thelma, that was
Bubba's turn to vent his feelings.
Oh, well, fine. Very
well. Go ahead, vent.
Oh, is it my turn?
- Uh...
- No, Vint.
Why don't we hear from Naomi?
Alright, except I've
got so much to say
I hardly know where to begin.
Oh, just begin at the beginnin'.
Right. It all started
when I was five years old.
It was winter and my mama
took me on a long train ride
to go to my Aunt
Doreen's funeral.
What does this have to do
with your dead Aunt Doreen?
Well, for one thing, we
both ended up underground!
I can't stand livin'
in that basement!
It's like being buried alive
in some moldy mausoleum!
Thank you for sharin',
Naomi. Uh, Vint?
Huh?
Vent, Vint!
Now? Oh.
Well, uh... Naomi
is real unhappy.
And Mama's real unhappy,
and Bubba's real unhappy.
Well, that's fine, Vint. But what
about you? How do you feel?
Well... I'd feel a lot better
if only I could sneeze.
Shut up, you goon! It's my turn!
Alright, Thelma. Go ahead.
Well, I think my problem can
be summed up in three words
in... grati... tude!
Outta kindness of a
mother's heart I take in
these homeless
leeches. What do I get?
My room's too cold,
my room's too damp
my room's too clean!
If they lived in the Taj Mahal
they'd complain about the tile!
Well, it seems to me
everyone is unhappy about
their livin' arrangements.
Perhaps a simple change
of venue is in order.
Yeah, better yet, why
don't we just switch rooms?
Oh, no. Now, just a minute.
Nobody's goin' anywhere
without my say-so.
Oh, now, Thelma, in a harmonious
family, everyone gets a vote.
- Yeah! Let's put it to a vote.
- Yeah.
All those in favor
of switchin' rooms?
Aye!
- Opposed?
- Nay!
The motion carries.
Way to go! Free at last.
Oh, baby, we're gonna
have a view of the driveway.
- Let's start movin' tonight.
- Now, just a damn minute here.
I'll not have my house
turned upside down
just so my family
can be comfortable!
I'm awfully sorry, Thelma,
but the vote has been taken.
But thank you for sharin'.
Well, share this, doc! I got
me a lotta rearrangin' to do here.
If you don't get outta my
sight, I'll start with your face!
Now, before we rush
into things, I think you two
ought to give this switching
rooms some long, hard thought.
Hurry up, baby, your
cold will be a lot better
as soon as we get
up out of this damp.
Comin', skeeter.
Vinton, that is way
too many boxes.
Ah, don't... Don't worry,
Mama. I'll be just fine.
I'll be fine. B-Bubba!
Sorry, Uncle Vint.
There.
You better hope you
didn't break my night light.
And to think that
man uses power tools.
Aw, shoot!
Uncle Vint bent
Heather's handlebars.
Oh, no, you don't.
I ain't gonna have
that pornographic
paper doll in my basement.
Grandma, it's my room now.
- Remember, give-and-take.
- Don't remind me.
I guess this mattress
has had enough airin' out.
Good evenin', Ms. Harper.
Good Lord!
You know you got a lot of
great mold growin' back here?
Don't you think it's time
you two went home?
- No, ma'am.
- No, ma'am.
Our parents don't like us
to come home while
they're still awake.
Will you get out of here?
Grandma, they're
my guests in my room.
We've got a lot of guy
stuff to talk about. In private.
Well, fine, I don't
wanna hear any of it
and neither does Heather.
Come on, sweetie pie,
let's go find you a housecoat.
Well, guys, what do you think?
This is really ripe, dude!
With our own band
we can get girls
to do anything we want.
Yeah, a guy once told
me that a heavy bass line
it does somethin'
to a girl's hormones.
The same guy that
told you Cherry Cokes
would clear up your skin?
Guys, this is gonna be so cool.
We're gonna be
rock 'n' roll stars.
Yeah, and this place
will be groupie heaven.
Dwayne, T-Boy
they're playin' the
national anthem on TV!
I don't want to see you
by dawn's early light.
Great. I forgot about grandma.
She won't let us
have a band here.
She won't even let me
have a cardboard girl.
Bubba, she's way upstairs.
What she doesn't
know won't hurt her.
Yeah, she's probably
hard of hearin', anyway.
The hell she is! You quit that
whisperin' and get on home!
Good mornin', Ms. Harper.
Touch me and die.
My goodness, somebody woke up
on the wrong side of
the bed this mornin'.
That is because somebody
didn't get a wink of sleep
thanks to all the
heavy breathin' goin' on
in the room next door.
Well, much as I would love
to stay and chitchat about it
I have to run upstairs
and take my man his
mornin' cup of coffee.
Don't you think you've
done enough for him already?
Lord, at least it'll give me
a few minutes of
peace and quiet.
Bubba-a-a!
You want heavy metal?
I'll give you heavy metal!
Cut that damn
racket out this instant!
Knock it off, you
pencil-necked geeks!
Is there a problem, Ms. Harper?
You bet there is, pizza face.
One more note and I'm gonna
kick your amps to kingdom come.
Grandma, we gotta rehearse.
- Then rehearse at their house.
- We can't.
Power's been turned
off at our house
for the last six weeks.
They're puttin' new
tar paper on our place.
- Get out!
- Wait a minute, you guys.
You're not goin' anywhere.
I'm sorry, grandma,
but this is my room now,
and I can do whatever
I want. We voted!
I see.
Well, Bubba..
I guess if you wanna
have your band here
then I'm powerless to stop you.
Don't give a thought for all
the things I've done for you,
feedin' you, clothin'
you... feedin' you!
Just never you mind my feelings.
Go ahead and make
all the noise you please.
If you wanna send your poor,
old, widowed grandmother
out of her home and into
an early grave, then so be it.
- Play on.
- One, two, three, four!
Hello!
What noise?
Well, now that you mention
it, I do hear something.
No, it's not comin'
from our house.
You know, I think Iola
Boylen bought a new stereo!
Why don't you give
a call over there?
Okay! Bye-bye!
Honey, the neighbors
are forming a posse!
You've got to go downstairs
and tell Bubba to stop!
Stoppin' people from
havin' fun is Mama's job.
Well, where is your mama?
She's been gone all day!
And I can't take
much more of this!
Oh. Okay, skeeter.
Since Mama's gone
I guess I'll have to be
the man of the house.
Let 'em have it, baby!
Knock, knock!
I want that music
stopped at once!
Oh, thank you.
Isn't it awful, Iola?
I feel like I'm about
to jump outta my skin.
My phone is
ringin' off the hook.
For some reason
all the neighbors
think it's my stereo.
Imagine that.
It's like livin' in a foundry!
Bubba, you got to
knock off the noise.
- It's music!
- It is decibel hell!
Why is everybody
gangin' up on me?
I'm just an artist tryin'
to express myself.
Then why don't you
become a mime?
Oh, here's Mama.
Boy, you're in big
trouble now, Bubba.
Did you hear the way
she slammed that door?
- This isn't gonna be pretty.
- Yeah.
We're tellin' and
you're gonna get it.
Yeah!
Hello, all.
I can't remember when I've
had such a wonderful day.
Mama, where have you been?
Oh, I took me a
nice leisurely stroll
through the arboretum.
I spent two solid hours
in that new Zen garden.
Did you know that
every single rock
has a personality all its own?
I think I like the igneous best.
Thelma, you spent
all this time at a park?
Yes, and I have discovered
there's a whole world
outside of this house.
All of it's callin' up here
to tell us to stop the noise!
That's right. Mama, you got
to make Bubba stop his band.
Me? Well, who am I
to tell anybody to stop?
- We gotta put it to a vote.
- Oh, good idea.
I knew she'd tell us what to do.
All those in favor of
Bubba not havin' the band?
Aye!
- All those opposed.
- Nay!
- Nay!
- Nay too!
No, no. No fair.
They're not part of the family.
Well, neither is Ms. Boylen.
Point of order. Only family
members should have a vote.
Iola, you go on in the kitchen.
Take the Beastie Boys with you.
Great idea. Come on, Ms. Boylen.
Yeah, we can throw
baloney on the ceilin'
and see if it sticks.
The one time I left home
without my can of Mace.
Now, where were we?
- We were votin'!
- And you were losin'!
Yeah! Three against one!
Now, wait a minute, Vinton.
I have not yet cast my vote.
Don't tell me you're thinkin'
of votin' for Bubba's band?
Well, actually, I'm undecided.
At this point, I
could go either way.
Of course, I could be lobbied.
Grandma, if you vote on my side,
I'll let you come
and clean my room
any time you want.
Ms. Harper, if you vote with us,
Vinton and I will do
the laundry from now on.
- It's the ironin' I hate.
- We'll do that too.
I'll be in bed by ten
o'clock on weekends!
Alright!
No more heavy breathing!
You won't hear a
peep out of us all night.
No more peepin'?
- No more peeping.
- Bingo!
I'm gonna have to go
with a good night's sleep.
That's three against one.
- We won!
- Yeah, we won. We won.
Ain't democracy grand?
This way everybody's
gonna be happy.
Bubba will be downstairs
in the basement,
quietly doin' his homework.
Vinton and Naomi
will be upstairs
ironin' instead of peepin'.
Wait just a minute here!
I think the only winner in
this house is your mama!
Yeah, I don't wanna stay
down in that dingy basement
if I can't have my band.
Yeah, what's the sense
in havin' that big bedroom
if we can't peep?
Just a minute! We
voted fair and square!
Well, we can just vote again!
Everybody in favor of
returnin' to their original rooms?
Aye!
Oh, darn, I lost.
Shoot.
Looks like you tricked
the old lady again.
Oh, come on, baby.
Muah! Let's get goin'!
Yeah, I'm ready to
start movin' right now.
Well, Mama, I guess now you know
who's the political
power in this family.
Big deal, Vinton, you may
have the political power
but I am still
speaker of the house.