Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 4, Episode 11 - Workman's Holiday - full transcript
An old lunchbox that Mama made for Vint as a child gets unearthed, causing a chain of events that leaves Vint injured and perhaps unemployed.
Well, here's the last box, Iola.
Those daughters of
Raytown are nuts if they think
anybody's gonna
want to buy this stuff.
Oh, nonsense, Thelma.
Their gift boutique sells
all kinds of worthless junk.
Your stuff is perfect.
Oh, look at this a pie plate
with the recipe
written at the bottom.
They can have that. I have
ruined more pies in that.
Once the crust's in,
you keep diggin' it up
to tell what to do next!
Let's see...
Ooh, look! Here's a
yo-yo and a slingshot.
Yeah. I guess most of
this stuff must be Vinton's.
Oh, my word.
Here's Binky Bunny.
Oh, what an adorable lunch pail.
I made him myself.
He was my very
first handicraft ever.
How's my little Binky Bunny?
Mama's missed
his little cotton tail.
We'll have no
trouble sellin' him.
Touch Binky and die.
Vinton loved this lunch
pail more than life itself.
He would never
part with his Binky.
Grandma, where's the sugar?
Try lookin' in the sugar bowl.
Oh, never mind. Here it
is. It's in the sugar bowl.
Good Lord, you'd think by now
Bubba could fix
his own breakfast.
Here, look at
his little eyes roll.
Grandma, how do you
get this toaster to work?
Try pushin' down on
the lever, you lug nut.
Never mind. Must be this lever.
I swear, I do everything for
that boy but chew his food.
Oh, Thelma, that
is just precious.
Oh, I remember
every single mornin'
Vinton and I would play
the same little game.
He'd say, "Mama, do I get to
take Binky Bunny to school?"
I'd just smile at him and say,
"You sure do. Now,
you two get hoppin'.
"Mama wants smart
bunnies, not dumb bunnies."
Ah, those were the days.
Ms. Harper, do you realize
that Bubba is in the kitchen
cookin' all by himself?
It's startin' to smell
kind of funny in there.
Grandma, where's
the fire extinguisher?
Good Lord, that boy
can't even fix Rice Krispies
without burnin' down my house.
Well, isn't this adorable.
- Look, honey.
- Uh-eh!
Get that thing away from me.
Uh-eh!
Well, Vinton what's wrong?
- It's only Binky.
- Only Binky?
That blue bunny made me
the laughingstock of school.
All the other guys
had lunch pails
with pictures of Roy Rogers,
or the battle of Iwo Jima
but did Vint? No-o-o!
He had a pink pail
his mama made.
Well, honey, if you didn't like
it why didn't you just say so?
Well, I tried. Every
mornin' I'd plead with her.
I'd say, "Mama, do I have to
take Binky to school today?"
And she'd just grin
and say, "Yes, you do.
"Now, get hoppin',
you dumb bunny."
- Oh, my poor...
- Oh, no! Uh-eh!
Vint, just forget all about
it. It is all in the past.
It's no use, Iola. I've
been permanently scarred.
Binky Bunny is gonna haunt
me for the rest of my life.
Baby, wait! You're in
no condition to drive!
Mm-mm, that bacon smells
great. I wish I could fix it like that.
Well, Bubba, next time don't
try makin' it in the toaster.
Thelma, I wish that
you would reconsider.
Binky Bunny has gift
boutique written all over him.
Forget it, Iola.
Vinton wouldn't forgive me
if I gave away his lunch pail.
I can't believe Uncle Vint
took that geeky thing
to school with him.
Geeky?
I'll have you know
that Binky Bunny
was the Spuds MacKenzie
of his generation.
Vinton, tell everybody how
much you love your Binky.
He's already left
for work, Thelma.
What? He left without his lunch?
Well, that's the
thanks a mother gets
for wakin' up early
to make tuna fish.
Does that mean I get
both lunches, grandma?
No. It means I gotta run
Vinton's down to Kwik-Keys.
Who would've thought at my
age I'd be meals on wheels?
- Say, Iola, give me that thing.
- What for?
Because today Vinton
is gonna get his lunch
in his favorite lunch pail.
Now, now, Thelma, do
you really think that's wise?
Sure! It'll be just
like old times.
Can't wait to see his face when
he gets a load of his old pail.
Little Binky Bunny.
Make me up two of
these keys, good buddy.
I sure don't wanna get locked
out of my gun cabinet again.
Yeah, boy, I know what you mean.
Oh, you do?
Didn't know you had
guns at your house.
Well, I don't, but I've
been thinkin' about it.
Vint, you should've been with
us up at Mud Lake this weekend.
Yes, sir, it was lunker heaven.
Yeah, doggone it.
Too bad I had to clean out
those rain gutters for Mama.
Shoot, Vint!
How can you stand livin' there
havin' her tell you what to do?
Oh, well, just because
I live with my mama
doesn't mean I don't
keep her in her place.
No, sir, boy, I am
the lord of my manor!
I am the king of my castle.
Excuse me, Your Highness,
but you forgot your lunch.
Mama! No!
Hey, Hank, look at Vint's
purdy, little lunchbox.
- I made this myself.
- You don't say.
My, that sure is a fancy color.
- What do you call that?
- Pink.
Don't just stand. Ain't you
gonna say hi to Binky Bunny?
No! No, Mama! Ow! Oh! Oh!
Good Lord, Vinton!
Are you alright?
Mama, my finger! My finger!
Hold still! I can't
see anything.
Just let me wipe off
that little drop of blood.
Blood?
Oh, Vinton. Oh, my poor baby!
Oh, now, Naomi, just calm down.
I know he'll be okay.
Grandma's here with Uncle Vint.
- He's all bandaged up.
- Oh, no!
Well, don't just
stand there gawkin'.
Open the damn door!
Baby!
Oh, Vint, this is just awful!
Oh, it looks worse than it is.
Oh, skeeter, it was horrible.
That key grinder
nearly ripped my arm off.
Oh, no, baby!
Oh, it did no such thing. It
barely scratched his finger.
They do not take people to
the hospital for scratched fingers!
They do if you fall on
your head when you faint.
You'd faint too if you
saw your life's blood
gushing from your finger.
That little drop of
blood on your finger
wouldn't even feed a mosquito.
How can you be so callous?
Any fool can see
that my angel baby
has been to hell and back.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
He only nicked his cuticle!
He wouldn't have done that
if he hadn't been careless!
Careless? Careless? I
did everything by the book!
No, Mama, this isn't my
fault! You did this to me!
Oh! Ow!
Put that ugly thing
back in your holster.
Thelma, just what
is the story here?
She deliberately came
behind the counter
right into the
yellow safety zone
while I was operatin'
heavy machinery,
and stuck that dang pink
lunch pail right in my face!
Ow-w-w!
Not Binky Bunny?
Oh, Ms. Harper, how could you?
- I tried to warn you, Thelma.
- I said that thing was geeky.
What is the matter
with you people?
You act like there's somethin'
wrong with little Binky.
Something's wrong, alright!
That sissy lunch pail
has ruined my life.
People have laughed
at me ever since
I took that dang pink
lunch pail to school.
Now, look what it's done
to me! Thanks a lot, Mama!
Oh!
I'm sure that's just
the medication talkin'.
Vinton loves his Binky.
TV comin' in better
now, Uncle Vint?
No, no, no.
Now they're all green.
Hurry up, Bubba. I'm
missin' the best part.
Gilligan is dressin'
up like Ginger.
Skeeter!
What is it, baby?
My ice has melted.
Honey, I'm in the
middle of fixin' your lunch.
You know, it's been two
weeks since your accident.
Don't you think that it
might be good for you
to get up off of this sofa
and get that ice yourself?
Ow, it's throbbin'.
It's throbbin'.
Alright, baby,
I'll get your ice.
Be sure it's chipped
so it'll be easier to chew.
There. Is that
better, Uncle Vint?
Oh, it's worse.
Just turn it off.
It's time we bought a new
TV, one with remote control.
Oh, honey! We can't
think about new purchases.
We're a one-income family now.
Oh, that's right, rub it in.
You think I enjoy lyin'
around here every day
bein' waited on hand and foot?
It's torture, I
tell ya, torture!
Are those sandwiches ready yet?
Comin' right up.
I'll give you a
hand, Aunt Naomi.
Don't forget to
cut off the crusts.
Knock, knock! Hi, Vint.
Well, after six newsstands
I finally found the
magazine you wanted.
I wondered what
took you so long.
Well, here it is
the latest issue
of "Gun and Tire
the magazine for men
who hunt from their cars."
- Oh, ow! Ow!
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Are you in pain, Vint?
- Yeah.
It's just that those
pages are so hard to turn.
Well, let me do that for you.
There you are.
Uh, Iola, you turned
it to an advertisement.
How careless of me.
Listen, while you're here,
why don't you run in the kitchen
and see what's keepin'
those sandwiches?
It would be my pleasure.
Boy, oh, boy.
"How to bag an elk
from your back seat."
Good Lord! I must've been
nuts to go to the market
on double-coupon day.
What people won't do to
save a dime on toilet paper!
Mama, uh, would you
turn this page for me?
What am I supposed to
turn it with, Vinton, my nose?
No, that might
be a little messy.
For cryin' out loud, Vinton!
You have milked that
finger long enough!
Now, get up off of
there, you couch potato!
You're startin' to
take root on this sofa.
Mama, I'm disabled.
The only disability
you have is your brain!
Now, you listen here to me.
- I was down at Kwik-Keys today.
- What did you go there for?
Because I saw a big
sign in their window
that said "Locksmith wanted."
Mr. Carstairs was
interviewin' people for your job.
I told him forget it! I said,
You'd be there in the mornin'.
Tomorrow? Oh,
no, that's impossible.
- I'm not up to it yet.
- Well, you got no choice.
Oh, yes I do!
I'm not goin' to work
tomorrow, or the next day!
After what I've been through
I just might never go to
work again as long as I live!
Don't look so concerned.
If he doesn't get back to work
he's not gonna live
much longer anyway.
Well, don't just
stand there. Let's eat.
Well, for cryin'
out loud, Naomi.
Where the hell's the crust?
I just can't believe that Vinton
will never go back to work.
Well, maybe there's something
seriously wrong with his finger.
Oh, there's nothin' wrong
with his finger it's his head.
Thelma, you might
be on to somethin'.
They were talkin'
about this very subject
the other day on Donahue.
Or was it Oprah?
No, maybe it was
Mariette Hartley.
Well, spit it out, Iola, we're
not gettin' any younger.
Well, accordin' to this doctor
infantile traumatic
episodes often trigger
disturbin' pathological
imbalances
which can render
one incapacitated.
If you don't speak plain English
I'm gonna render
you incapacitated.
Well, in layman's terms,
you embarrassed Vint
by takin' that lunch pail
down to Kwik-Keys and forcin'
him to relive an early trauma.
So now, he
associates grindin' keys
with the childhood
humiliation of Binky Bunny.
Ms. Harper, how could you?
Oh, will you two put
this damn bunny to rest?
Now, you cannot tell me
that a cute, little lunch pail
can keep a grown
man glued to a sofa!
I'm afraid so, Thelma.
What did Mariette
Hartley say to do?
She said...
Come to think of
it, it was Oprah.
I don't care if it
was Geraldo Rivera!
What's the answer?
Support from the family
buildin' up of self-esteem
and 12 years of
intensive therapy.
Good heavens, that dodo's
got work first thing in the mornin'.
There's no time
to shrink his head.
I guess I'm just gonna
have to kick his butt.
Ow, Mama! Ow! Did you have
to drag me down here by my ear?
Well, you wouldn't
wear the leash.
Now, you get in
here and get to work.
Ooh, Mama, it seems
so dark and spooky.
Well, let's turn on the lights.
Oh, no! There it is.
Mama, take me home, please.
Don't make me stay, please.
Vinton, for heaven sakes,
it's just a key grinder.
It doesn't bite.
Shoot, I'll bet even
an old woman like me
can work this machine.
No! Mama, no!
That's not how you do it.
- It's not?
- No-o-o.
First off, you
don't even think...
about comin' near
this machine without...
your goggles.
Oh, Vinton, you look
so manly in those
just like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
You're goin' to have to step
outside the yellow safety zone.
This machine is
no toy, you know.
This baby takes a 3-prong plug.
Oh, I had no idea.
Well, just exactly
how does it work?
Well, you see...
the object is to
make this key...
look exactly like this one.
Oh.
Now, you see, you lock
your original right in here.
And then you lock your blank key
right over here.
Mm, mm, mm.
You are so mechanical.
How do you keep
that stuff straight?
Years of experience.
Now, your keys
are locked in place.
Here comes the tricky part.
You have to throw that
switch marked "Automatic."
My word.
And here I thought
there was nothin' to it.
I'll tell you what...
you think you know your kids
and then you see
somethin' like this.
Yeah, feels good to get
back in the old saddle.
I've been missin' this baby.
Well, look who's
here with his mama.
Hey, Binky's back!
My finger's startin' to act up
again. Better get me home quick.
- You just stay put, Vinton.
- Hey, Binky, what's for lunch?
You listen here, boys...
when you make fun of Binky Bunny
you're not hurtin'
Vinton, you're hurtin' me.
- We are?
- Yes.
You see, I made Binky,
'cause in those days
we didn't have enough
money for regular lunchboxes.
Why, my kids had to carry
their sandwiches to school
in old, wrapped-up newspapers.
- I don't remember that.
- Shut up! You were just a kid.
Anyway, one day I found
a rusty, old lunch pail
that some rich
people had thrown out
so I decided to take it
home to surprise my kids.
I stayed up all night
scrubbin' and
paintin', and gluin'
and by the dawn's early
light, Binky Bunny was born.
That's the most beautiful
story I ever heard.
There's more.
The next mornin', Eunice
and Ellen, my daughters,
much to my horror, they
turned their noses up at Binky.
They said that he
was dumb and ugly
and that they'd rather die
than carry him to school.
- Why, those little snots!
- Weren't they?
My heart was broken.
I was on the edge of despair
when my boy, my baby
my little Vinton, came up to me
and he put his arms
around me and said
"Please don't cry, Mama.
"I think it's the most
wonderfulest lunch pail
"in the whole wide world.
"And I'll carry it to
school every day
"no matter how
much the kids laugh."
- Alright, Vint.
- Way to go, big fella.
It's what any red-blooded
guy would do for his mama.
Yes, but it wasn't just
any red-blooded guy
it was you, Vinton.
Hey, Vint, we're goin' back up
to Mud Lake again this weekend.
You wanna come?
Can I, Mama?
Vinton, you're the
king of the castle.
You bet I will.
Great. Come on, Hank, let's
get back over to the garage.
I wanna call my mama!
Yeah, I think I'll send
mine some flowers.
Thanks a lot, Mama, and
this time I really mean it.
You're welcome, baby.
You sure made those
guys feel ashamed.
Well, that's what
mothers are for.
Hey, everybody!
I'm home from work!
- Oh, baby, you did it.
- Yeah.
Well, Vinton, way to go.
- We're all real proud of you.
- Thanks, everybody.
Thelma, now we can give
Binky Bunny to the gift boutique.
Good idea. Let it traumatize
someone else's kid.
Mama, you can't give Binky away.
Don't you remember?
"It's the most
wonderfulest lunch pail
"in the whole wide world."
Oh, hell, Vinton,
you never said that.
I didn't?
- You made up that story?
- Of course not!
I saw it in an old
Shirley Temple movie.
Those daughters of
Raytown are nuts if they think
anybody's gonna
want to buy this stuff.
Oh, nonsense, Thelma.
Their gift boutique sells
all kinds of worthless junk.
Your stuff is perfect.
Oh, look at this a pie plate
with the recipe
written at the bottom.
They can have that. I have
ruined more pies in that.
Once the crust's in,
you keep diggin' it up
to tell what to do next!
Let's see...
Ooh, look! Here's a
yo-yo and a slingshot.
Yeah. I guess most of
this stuff must be Vinton's.
Oh, my word.
Here's Binky Bunny.
Oh, what an adorable lunch pail.
I made him myself.
He was my very
first handicraft ever.
How's my little Binky Bunny?
Mama's missed
his little cotton tail.
We'll have no
trouble sellin' him.
Touch Binky and die.
Vinton loved this lunch
pail more than life itself.
He would never
part with his Binky.
Grandma, where's the sugar?
Try lookin' in the sugar bowl.
Oh, never mind. Here it
is. It's in the sugar bowl.
Good Lord, you'd think by now
Bubba could fix
his own breakfast.
Here, look at
his little eyes roll.
Grandma, how do you
get this toaster to work?
Try pushin' down on
the lever, you lug nut.
Never mind. Must be this lever.
I swear, I do everything for
that boy but chew his food.
Oh, Thelma, that
is just precious.
Oh, I remember
every single mornin'
Vinton and I would play
the same little game.
He'd say, "Mama, do I get to
take Binky Bunny to school?"
I'd just smile at him and say,
"You sure do. Now,
you two get hoppin'.
"Mama wants smart
bunnies, not dumb bunnies."
Ah, those were the days.
Ms. Harper, do you realize
that Bubba is in the kitchen
cookin' all by himself?
It's startin' to smell
kind of funny in there.
Grandma, where's
the fire extinguisher?
Good Lord, that boy
can't even fix Rice Krispies
without burnin' down my house.
Well, isn't this adorable.
- Look, honey.
- Uh-eh!
Get that thing away from me.
Uh-eh!
Well, Vinton what's wrong?
- It's only Binky.
- Only Binky?
That blue bunny made me
the laughingstock of school.
All the other guys
had lunch pails
with pictures of Roy Rogers,
or the battle of Iwo Jima
but did Vint? No-o-o!
He had a pink pail
his mama made.
Well, honey, if you didn't like
it why didn't you just say so?
Well, I tried. Every
mornin' I'd plead with her.
I'd say, "Mama, do I have to
take Binky to school today?"
And she'd just grin
and say, "Yes, you do.
"Now, get hoppin',
you dumb bunny."
- Oh, my poor...
- Oh, no! Uh-eh!
Vint, just forget all about
it. It is all in the past.
It's no use, Iola. I've
been permanently scarred.
Binky Bunny is gonna haunt
me for the rest of my life.
Baby, wait! You're in
no condition to drive!
Mm-mm, that bacon smells
great. I wish I could fix it like that.
Well, Bubba, next time don't
try makin' it in the toaster.
Thelma, I wish that
you would reconsider.
Binky Bunny has gift
boutique written all over him.
Forget it, Iola.
Vinton wouldn't forgive me
if I gave away his lunch pail.
I can't believe Uncle Vint
took that geeky thing
to school with him.
Geeky?
I'll have you know
that Binky Bunny
was the Spuds MacKenzie
of his generation.
Vinton, tell everybody how
much you love your Binky.
He's already left
for work, Thelma.
What? He left without his lunch?
Well, that's the
thanks a mother gets
for wakin' up early
to make tuna fish.
Does that mean I get
both lunches, grandma?
No. It means I gotta run
Vinton's down to Kwik-Keys.
Who would've thought at my
age I'd be meals on wheels?
- Say, Iola, give me that thing.
- What for?
Because today Vinton
is gonna get his lunch
in his favorite lunch pail.
Now, now, Thelma, do
you really think that's wise?
Sure! It'll be just
like old times.
Can't wait to see his face when
he gets a load of his old pail.
Little Binky Bunny.
Make me up two of
these keys, good buddy.
I sure don't wanna get locked
out of my gun cabinet again.
Yeah, boy, I know what you mean.
Oh, you do?
Didn't know you had
guns at your house.
Well, I don't, but I've
been thinkin' about it.
Vint, you should've been with
us up at Mud Lake this weekend.
Yes, sir, it was lunker heaven.
Yeah, doggone it.
Too bad I had to clean out
those rain gutters for Mama.
Shoot, Vint!
How can you stand livin' there
havin' her tell you what to do?
Oh, well, just because
I live with my mama
doesn't mean I don't
keep her in her place.
No, sir, boy, I am
the lord of my manor!
I am the king of my castle.
Excuse me, Your Highness,
but you forgot your lunch.
Mama! No!
Hey, Hank, look at Vint's
purdy, little lunchbox.
- I made this myself.
- You don't say.
My, that sure is a fancy color.
- What do you call that?
- Pink.
Don't just stand. Ain't you
gonna say hi to Binky Bunny?
No! No, Mama! Ow! Oh! Oh!
Good Lord, Vinton!
Are you alright?
Mama, my finger! My finger!
Hold still! I can't
see anything.
Just let me wipe off
that little drop of blood.
Blood?
Oh, Vinton. Oh, my poor baby!
Oh, now, Naomi, just calm down.
I know he'll be okay.
Grandma's here with Uncle Vint.
- He's all bandaged up.
- Oh, no!
Well, don't just
stand there gawkin'.
Open the damn door!
Baby!
Oh, Vint, this is just awful!
Oh, it looks worse than it is.
Oh, skeeter, it was horrible.
That key grinder
nearly ripped my arm off.
Oh, no, baby!
Oh, it did no such thing. It
barely scratched his finger.
They do not take people to
the hospital for scratched fingers!
They do if you fall on
your head when you faint.
You'd faint too if you
saw your life's blood
gushing from your finger.
That little drop of
blood on your finger
wouldn't even feed a mosquito.
How can you be so callous?
Any fool can see
that my angel baby
has been to hell and back.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
He only nicked his cuticle!
He wouldn't have done that
if he hadn't been careless!
Careless? Careless? I
did everything by the book!
No, Mama, this isn't my
fault! You did this to me!
Oh! Ow!
Put that ugly thing
back in your holster.
Thelma, just what
is the story here?
She deliberately came
behind the counter
right into the
yellow safety zone
while I was operatin'
heavy machinery,
and stuck that dang pink
lunch pail right in my face!
Ow-w-w!
Not Binky Bunny?
Oh, Ms. Harper, how could you?
- I tried to warn you, Thelma.
- I said that thing was geeky.
What is the matter
with you people?
You act like there's somethin'
wrong with little Binky.
Something's wrong, alright!
That sissy lunch pail
has ruined my life.
People have laughed
at me ever since
I took that dang pink
lunch pail to school.
Now, look what it's done
to me! Thanks a lot, Mama!
Oh!
I'm sure that's just
the medication talkin'.
Vinton loves his Binky.
TV comin' in better
now, Uncle Vint?
No, no, no.
Now they're all green.
Hurry up, Bubba. I'm
missin' the best part.
Gilligan is dressin'
up like Ginger.
Skeeter!
What is it, baby?
My ice has melted.
Honey, I'm in the
middle of fixin' your lunch.
You know, it's been two
weeks since your accident.
Don't you think that it
might be good for you
to get up off of this sofa
and get that ice yourself?
Ow, it's throbbin'.
It's throbbin'.
Alright, baby,
I'll get your ice.
Be sure it's chipped
so it'll be easier to chew.
There. Is that
better, Uncle Vint?
Oh, it's worse.
Just turn it off.
It's time we bought a new
TV, one with remote control.
Oh, honey! We can't
think about new purchases.
We're a one-income family now.
Oh, that's right, rub it in.
You think I enjoy lyin'
around here every day
bein' waited on hand and foot?
It's torture, I
tell ya, torture!
Are those sandwiches ready yet?
Comin' right up.
I'll give you a
hand, Aunt Naomi.
Don't forget to
cut off the crusts.
Knock, knock! Hi, Vint.
Well, after six newsstands
I finally found the
magazine you wanted.
I wondered what
took you so long.
Well, here it is
the latest issue
of "Gun and Tire
the magazine for men
who hunt from their cars."
- Oh, ow! Ow!
- Ow, ow, ow.
- Are you in pain, Vint?
- Yeah.
It's just that those
pages are so hard to turn.
Well, let me do that for you.
There you are.
Uh, Iola, you turned
it to an advertisement.
How careless of me.
Listen, while you're here,
why don't you run in the kitchen
and see what's keepin'
those sandwiches?
It would be my pleasure.
Boy, oh, boy.
"How to bag an elk
from your back seat."
Good Lord! I must've been
nuts to go to the market
on double-coupon day.
What people won't do to
save a dime on toilet paper!
Mama, uh, would you
turn this page for me?
What am I supposed to
turn it with, Vinton, my nose?
No, that might
be a little messy.
For cryin' out loud, Vinton!
You have milked that
finger long enough!
Now, get up off of
there, you couch potato!
You're startin' to
take root on this sofa.
Mama, I'm disabled.
The only disability
you have is your brain!
Now, you listen here to me.
- I was down at Kwik-Keys today.
- What did you go there for?
Because I saw a big
sign in their window
that said "Locksmith wanted."
Mr. Carstairs was
interviewin' people for your job.
I told him forget it! I said,
You'd be there in the mornin'.
Tomorrow? Oh,
no, that's impossible.
- I'm not up to it yet.
- Well, you got no choice.
Oh, yes I do!
I'm not goin' to work
tomorrow, or the next day!
After what I've been through
I just might never go to
work again as long as I live!
Don't look so concerned.
If he doesn't get back to work
he's not gonna live
much longer anyway.
Well, don't just
stand there. Let's eat.
Well, for cryin'
out loud, Naomi.
Where the hell's the crust?
I just can't believe that Vinton
will never go back to work.
Well, maybe there's something
seriously wrong with his finger.
Oh, there's nothin' wrong
with his finger it's his head.
Thelma, you might
be on to somethin'.
They were talkin'
about this very subject
the other day on Donahue.
Or was it Oprah?
No, maybe it was
Mariette Hartley.
Well, spit it out, Iola, we're
not gettin' any younger.
Well, accordin' to this doctor
infantile traumatic
episodes often trigger
disturbin' pathological
imbalances
which can render
one incapacitated.
If you don't speak plain English
I'm gonna render
you incapacitated.
Well, in layman's terms,
you embarrassed Vint
by takin' that lunch pail
down to Kwik-Keys and forcin'
him to relive an early trauma.
So now, he
associates grindin' keys
with the childhood
humiliation of Binky Bunny.
Ms. Harper, how could you?
Oh, will you two put
this damn bunny to rest?
Now, you cannot tell me
that a cute, little lunch pail
can keep a grown
man glued to a sofa!
I'm afraid so, Thelma.
What did Mariette
Hartley say to do?
She said...
Come to think of
it, it was Oprah.
I don't care if it
was Geraldo Rivera!
What's the answer?
Support from the family
buildin' up of self-esteem
and 12 years of
intensive therapy.
Good heavens, that dodo's
got work first thing in the mornin'.
There's no time
to shrink his head.
I guess I'm just gonna
have to kick his butt.
Ow, Mama! Ow! Did you have
to drag me down here by my ear?
Well, you wouldn't
wear the leash.
Now, you get in
here and get to work.
Ooh, Mama, it seems
so dark and spooky.
Well, let's turn on the lights.
Oh, no! There it is.
Mama, take me home, please.
Don't make me stay, please.
Vinton, for heaven sakes,
it's just a key grinder.
It doesn't bite.
Shoot, I'll bet even
an old woman like me
can work this machine.
No! Mama, no!
That's not how you do it.
- It's not?
- No-o-o.
First off, you
don't even think...
about comin' near
this machine without...
your goggles.
Oh, Vinton, you look
so manly in those
just like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
You're goin' to have to step
outside the yellow safety zone.
This machine is
no toy, you know.
This baby takes a 3-prong plug.
Oh, I had no idea.
Well, just exactly
how does it work?
Well, you see...
the object is to
make this key...
look exactly like this one.
Oh.
Now, you see, you lock
your original right in here.
And then you lock your blank key
right over here.
Mm, mm, mm.
You are so mechanical.
How do you keep
that stuff straight?
Years of experience.
Now, your keys
are locked in place.
Here comes the tricky part.
You have to throw that
switch marked "Automatic."
My word.
And here I thought
there was nothin' to it.
I'll tell you what...
you think you know your kids
and then you see
somethin' like this.
Yeah, feels good to get
back in the old saddle.
I've been missin' this baby.
Well, look who's
here with his mama.
Hey, Binky's back!
My finger's startin' to act up
again. Better get me home quick.
- You just stay put, Vinton.
- Hey, Binky, what's for lunch?
You listen here, boys...
when you make fun of Binky Bunny
you're not hurtin'
Vinton, you're hurtin' me.
- We are?
- Yes.
You see, I made Binky,
'cause in those days
we didn't have enough
money for regular lunchboxes.
Why, my kids had to carry
their sandwiches to school
in old, wrapped-up newspapers.
- I don't remember that.
- Shut up! You were just a kid.
Anyway, one day I found
a rusty, old lunch pail
that some rich
people had thrown out
so I decided to take it
home to surprise my kids.
I stayed up all night
scrubbin' and
paintin', and gluin'
and by the dawn's early
light, Binky Bunny was born.
That's the most beautiful
story I ever heard.
There's more.
The next mornin', Eunice
and Ellen, my daughters,
much to my horror, they
turned their noses up at Binky.
They said that he
was dumb and ugly
and that they'd rather die
than carry him to school.
- Why, those little snots!
- Weren't they?
My heart was broken.
I was on the edge of despair
when my boy, my baby
my little Vinton, came up to me
and he put his arms
around me and said
"Please don't cry, Mama.
"I think it's the most
wonderfulest lunch pail
"in the whole wide world.
"And I'll carry it to
school every day
"no matter how
much the kids laugh."
- Alright, Vint.
- Way to go, big fella.
It's what any red-blooded
guy would do for his mama.
Yes, but it wasn't just
any red-blooded guy
it was you, Vinton.
Hey, Vint, we're goin' back up
to Mud Lake again this weekend.
You wanna come?
Can I, Mama?
Vinton, you're the
king of the castle.
You bet I will.
Great. Come on, Hank, let's
get back over to the garage.
I wanna call my mama!
Yeah, I think I'll send
mine some flowers.
Thanks a lot, Mama, and
this time I really mean it.
You're welcome, baby.
You sure made those
guys feel ashamed.
Well, that's what
mothers are for.
Hey, everybody!
I'm home from work!
- Oh, baby, you did it.
- Yeah.
Well, Vinton, way to go.
- We're all real proud of you.
- Thanks, everybody.
Thelma, now we can give
Binky Bunny to the gift boutique.
Good idea. Let it traumatize
someone else's kid.
Mama, you can't give Binky away.
Don't you remember?
"It's the most
wonderfulest lunch pail
"in the whole wide world."
Oh, hell, Vinton,
you never said that.
I didn't?
- You made up that story?
- Of course not!
I saw it in an old
Shirley Temple movie.