Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 3, Episode 16 - Have It Mama's Way - full transcript

Mama and Bubba get jobs at the same fast food restaurant. Their relationship as co-workers does not go smoothly.

Hey, will ya looky here?

Some guy is
sellin' an '81 pickup

with 4-wheel drive and
a simulated vinyl interior

for only $1850!

Oh, I love the feel
of a warm, vinyl seat!

And 4-wheel drive!

I could take it
off-road in the desert.

What desert? This is Raytown.

Closest thing we got to
a desert is the city dump.

Ms. Harper, every man
has to have his dream.

And for Vinton, that dream
has always been 4-wheel drive.



Yeah, well, I'm all for dreams

as long as they don't wind
up on blocks in my driveway.

Knock, knock!

- Mornin', Iola.
- I have the most excitin' news!

Mornin', Vint.

- Everybody.
- Iola.

I just came from the
Safaray Travel Agency

where they are puttin'
together a package

for the church ladies' league
to go to Hawaii in June!

Hawaii? Are you kiddin' me?

Let me see that sucker.

This package
includes everything.

Would you look
at that blue water?

I've always wanted
to go to Hawaii



ever since I saw Debra
Paget in "Bird Of Paradise."

She even made
leapin' to her death

in that volcano look like fun.

Oh, Vinton, could we go, too?

It could be the honeymoon
we've never had.

Package includes airfare

six nights at a
semi-luxury hotel

not far from public beaches

a luau with tiki torches, and
two complimentary drinks.

And it's only $900!

$900? Well, might
as well be $9 million.

Too steep for me.

Well, the two of us
would have to pay double.

Naomi, for all that money, I
could buy a new used pickup!

But, honey, you
already have a pickup.

Well, we're not gonna
waste all that money on a trip.

Oh. Well, on that happy note,

I will go to work.

- You want me to drive you.
- No, thank you.

Riding in your truck has
suddenly lost all of its charm.

Naomi! Wait up!
I'll let you shift!

Thelma, for a trip to Hawaii,
$900 is not that much money.

It would practically
wipe out my savings.

Then, what if a
disaster occurred?

What if my washing
machine broke down?

You'd still have your
wonderful memories of Hawaii.

Who wants to remember Hawaii

while they're beatin'
dirty clothes on a rock?

Well, grandma, how do I look?

Well, good lord, you look
like woody woodpecker.

What do you got in your hair?

Mousse. I want to
make a good impression.

Bubba's goin' out for
his first job interview.

- At MacRay's Burger Stand.
- Ain't that nice.

It's my first step
toward independence.

My own job. It's a
regular rite of manhood.

I'll take sellin' burgers

over that other rite
of manhood any day.

A man with a job
is a man on his own.

Doesn't need anybody.
He walks his own path.

- Want me to drive you there?
- You bet.

Just imagine, Iola...

My baby grandson
goin' out for his first job.

Who knows where this could lead?

That's right. Today,
a lowly burger boy.

Tomorrow, the head of an
empire. Wouldn't that be something?

Say, then he could afford to
send his grandmother to Hawaii.

If you're gonna be
the head of an empire,

you stand up straight
and get rid of that gum.

Iola, take care of
this. I'll be back in a jiff.

It certainly looks like a nice,
clean place to work, doesn't it?

These floors have just been
mopped. Smells like pine.

Do you mind? I'm
tryin' to concentrate.

Oh, if you wanted some help,
why didn't you just say so?

Here, let me see that thing.

"Name, please print."

Well, that's good. Shows
you can follow directions.

"Previous work experience...

"Kitchen detail
at juvenile hall?"

Are you out of your mind?

Grandma, I was real good at it.

The warden said I could
have a career in food service.

Yeah, at sing sing.

Previous experience,
school cafeteria.

Grandma, this is my application.

I won't change another word.

"References, T-boy and Dwayne?"

They're my best friends.

They know me
better than anybody.

Those delinquent ding-dongs!

Thought you said you
weren't gonna change nothing.

I'm changin' names, not words.

References, Reverend
Meechum and Mayor Tutwiller.

I don't even know
Mayor Tutwiller!

You think this greasy
spoon is gonna check?

Here's my application.

How do you do?
I'm Thelma Harper.

This is my grandson
Bubba. He's a real fine boy.

Usually his hair
looks better than this.

I'm Lester Herdman, day manager.

Uh... Mr. Herdman, how
soon will you be hirin'?

Immediately. But
I must warn you,

I've been flooded
with applications.

Oh, well, thank you.

Bubba, you go on out to the car.

I'll be out in a minute.

Mr. Herdman, my grandson
Bubba is a real hard worker.

He'd make a fine burger boy.

That's good. I'll
keep that in mind.

And he's got a real big family.

If he gets this job,
we be eatin' here a lot.

Mrs. Harper, you're
quite the salesman.

I can sell anything
if I believe in it.

I believe in my grandson.

How do you feel about fast-food?

You think you could sell that?

I think I'm a bit
long-in-the-tooth

to be a burger jockey.

Not at all.

According to the latest
issue of "Burger World",

senior citizens make
the best employees.

They're eager, dependable,
and take pride in their work.

Well, I hear that.

There is no substitute
for experience.

You talked me into it.
When can you start?

Me? No, Bubba's the
one that wants the job.

I have several openings.

Thanks the same.
I don't think I'd fit in.

My skin cleared up years ago.

Mrs. Harper, I pay
over minimum wage.

Couldn't you use extra
cash for somethin'?

How much "extra cash"
are we talkin' about here?

$3.55 an hour.

I'll guarantee you
30 hours a week.

We're talkin' big bucks.

Lester, it's like
they say in Hawaii,

"Mele kalikimaka
ihana olee maka hiki ho."

What does that mean?

It means, "Bring on
the burgers, babe,

these buns are
bound for Waikiki."

At $3.55 an hour,
times 30 hours a week,

that comes to $106.50.

I could make that $900
in a little over two months.

Whoo! Hawaii, here we come!

If I'm workin' at MacRay's.

Weren't you offered
the job on the spot?

Yes, I was, but Bubba wasn't.

I can't take that job

if Mr. Herdman
doesn't hire Bubba, too.

- I don't see why.
- Think about it Iola.

How would you feel
if you applied for a job

and they hired your
mother instead of you?

Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Mother would never fit

behind those counters
with her walker.

I wish Mr. Herdman
would let Bubba know.

I'm supposed to start
tomorrow mornin'.

Thelma, this has
just gotta work out.

You and I could
live it up in Hawaii.

Look, each night,
the hotel gives us

a complimentary
platter of pupus.

A what?

Pupus. In Hawaiian, that's
what they call hors d'oeuvres.

Good Lord, I'd hate to hear
what they call the main course!

- I'll get it! I'll get it!
- I got it.

Don't touch that phone!
It may be Mr. Herdman!

Please let me get
the job! Oh, please!

Hello? Speaking.

Why, Mr. Herdman,
what a surprise.

I did?

I got the job! Got the
job! I'm a burger boy!

What time...

what time do I start?

Oh. Okay.

Well, then, I'll see
you tomorrow. Bye.

Oh, congratulations!

Oh, Bubba, I'm so proud of you!

Thanks.

Mr. Herdman said
the weirdest thing.

When I asked him what time

he said the same time
as my grandmother.

- He said that, did he?
- Yeah, he did.

What'd he mean by that, grandma?

Well, I guess he meant 7:30.

Grandma...

Didn't wanna say anything
until I knew you got the job,

but Mr. Herdman hired me, too!

- He what?
- He hired me too.

We're gonna be burger boys
together! Won't this be fun?

Fun? You can't do this to me!

I'll be the laughin'
stock of the junior class!

Nobody has to
know we're related.

You can call me Thelma.
I'll call you Mr. Higgins.

Grandma, this is my first
job. My rite of manhood!

What guy goes through
a rite of manhood

with his grandmother?

Knock it off with your
manhood business.

We're both gonna
be wearin' hairnets.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, what a day I had.

My scanner went on the blink.

I had to ring up
everything by hand.

Yeah, I'm beat, too.

Mama, what time's dinner?

Dinner's gonna be
a little late tonight.

I've had other
things on my mind.

Yeah, like destroyin' my future!

I'm doin' no such thing!

I should say not!

She's gonna be workin'
with me down at MacRay's!

Tell her she can't do that!

Mama, you got a job at MacRay's?

It's only part-time. I will
just be there long enough

to raise enough money
for my trip to Hawaii.

Wait a minute.
You're goin' to Hawaii?

Yeah, isn't that wonderful?

Did you hear that?

Your mama says
she's goin' to Hawaii.

I hope she makes dinner first.

I'd say that if your mama
can afford to go to Hawaii

then we certainly can.

That's the spirit! We'll all go!

We will not! It's too expensive!

How come your mama gets to
go after workin' a crummy job?

It is not a crummy job!

It is if you're workin' there!

I don't care what
any of you say.

I am takin' this job and
I am goin' to Hawaii.

Hope you don't expect
I'm gonna come home

after a hard day's
work and do your chores

so that you can go lie on
the beach in a muu-muu!

Hey! It isn't my fault
your husband's too cheap.

I am not cheap!

- We can use the money better.
- We cannot!

If you think you're buyin' a
new pickup with that money,

you are out of
your 4-wheel mind!

I hope you're happy now!

There goes the
truck of my dreams!

Thanks a lot, mama!

Boy, grandma, you sure
don't play favorites, do ya?

Your workin' down at MacRay's
is ruinin' everybody's life!

It is such a comfort
in my old age

to know that I have the
love and support of my family.

To begin with, let me say
how happy it makes me

to see a grandmother
and a grandson

workin' side by side.

Alright, now, I assume
you're both familiar

with our breakfast menu.

I ain't never eaten a meal here.

But I would imagine that
breakfast is breakfast.

Fried eggs, grits, and toast.

No. At MacRay's, an egg
never touches a skillet.

Our breakfasts
are all prepackaged.

We've revolutionized
the mornin' meal.

Just what is so revolutionary

about serving a TV
dinner for breakfast?

Alright, it's time to
open. Are we ready?

I am!

Are you, Thelma?

You bet, Mr. Higgins.

Good luck to you both!

And remember, be
courteous and friendly.

At MacRay's, the
customer is king.

Good morning, your
highness. What may I get you?

Give me, uh, eggs in a blanket,

sausage, and coffee.

I would be more than
happy to do that for you.

I have a gentleman here

who would like an order
of eggs in a blanket,

and he would also
like an order of sausage

to go with that.

Flapjacks and links!

While we're
waitin' for that order

how 'bout I pour ya
a nice cup of coffee?

Fine, just pour it.

Okay. That'll be $2.44, please.

Oh, looky here. Bet
that's your order now.

I hope so.

Yep. There's your
scrambled eggs.

There's your blanket.
There's your sausage.

Could you just hurry
the order, please?

Two slim jims, one
bacon, one links!

Let me get this in, and
you'll be on your way.

Is that a promise?

All right. Now, let me
just find a napkin for you.

Here!

Oh. Well, that's way too many.

Here we go.

Would you like cream and sugar?

- No.
- It's free.

- How 'bout I throw it in?
- Just ring up the order.

Okay, that'll be $4.16, please.

Thank you. Come again.

Alrighty. That's one eggs
in a blanket. That's $1.05.

Slim Jim, bacon!

You were the one
that had the sausage?

That's right, lady.

That's right, I remember.
It looked so good.

Sausage is...

that's 59 cents.

50 cents for your coffee.

No charge for that
cream and sugar.

And that comes to
$2.14, plus your tax.

Good lord, this writin' is tiny.

Never mind. Keep the change.

Oh, well, thank
you very much, sir!

You come again.

Looky there, Mr. Higgins.
He left me a tip.

Great, Thelma. Will
you move out of the way?

I've got an order to ring up.

My-my! Jealousy does not
sit well on such a young face.

- That'll be $2.08, please.
- What's happenin' out here?

It is goin' great! I
just got my first tip.

I'll give you another one.
You wanna work here

you've got to speed things up.

Thought you said to be friendly.

Friendly and fast. Look
at young Higgins here.

He's taken care of four
customers to your one.

Thank you so much.

Thank you and have a good day.

And good morning to
you. How may I help you?

He ain't so hot.

You want speed,
I'll give you speed.

Get back there,
buckle your seat belt

and get ready for
eggs in the fast lane.

Slim Jim, links!

Hey, lady.

Yeah, you with the
god-awful purse.

Get over here.

Let's go here. It's
your dime. Spill it.

I'd like a flapjack sandwich

with sausage and a milk, please.

Jacks and links!

One moo juice comin' up.

That's gonna be $2.50,
lady. Get your money out.

Hey, that's my order, grandma.

That's Thelma to
you, Mr. Wonderful.

Don't count it, just beat it.

Now, you don't have to be rude.

Hey, curly top, you try
servin' breakfast in 35 seconds!

Next!

- Well, now, let me see here...
- Come on, pops!

This ain't the public library!
Let's make up your mind!

I think I'll go to this nice,
young man over here.

- Thelma.
- Yo!

May I pour you a cup of coffee?

- We've got a problem here.
- What's the matter?

You havin' trouble
keepin' up with me?

I'm startin' to wonder if
you're MacRay material.

- What are you talkin' about?
- Your attitude problem.

I haven't got an
attitude problem!

Do you want it fast
or do you want it nice?

I want it fast and nice.

If you can't handle that,
I'm gonna have to let you go.

Please, give me another
chance. I'll be sweet as pie.

Alright, but one more cross
word and you're through.

Don't you worry about a thing!

The customer ain't been
born that I can't charm.

Mama, Bubba, look.

We all came in for breakfast!

Uh-oh.

You look cute as a
button in that outfit.

- How's it goin'?
- Well, just swell.

- Give me a slim Jim, links!
- Make that two.

Double that order!

Bubba, aren't you the
most efficient thing?

He certainly is.

I'm goin' over to his line.

Alright, Iola.
What's it gonna be?

I believe I'll have a
big ray and some fries.

Iola, we don't serve
lunch until 11:30.

Thelma, you know
I don't eat breakfast.

Then what the hell
are you doin' here?

Get the hell out of the way and
let the goon behind you order.

Eggs in a blanket,
and don't oink it.

Vinton, come on over
here. Bubba's a whiz!

- You get back over here!
- Thelma!

A gracious good mornin'
to you. What may I get you?

I'll have a couple of those
special over-easy eggs you make,

biscuits, ham, and a waffle.

Vinton, we don't
serve that here.

- Why not? You got eggs, right?
- Of course we got eggs!

What do you think we're
puttin' in the damn blankets?

Okay. Then, go back
there and fry me up some!

Can only serve
what is on the menu!

This is not MacMama's!

Oh, great.

She'll make breakfast for
every stranger in Raytown

but she won't even fry a couple
of lousy eggs for her own son!

Listen here, last thing I
need is for my worthless family

to come down here
and give me grief!

So, this is the thanks we get

for tryin' to throw a
little business your way?

What business?

You are just too lazy to cook!

I beg your pardon!

Would it have killed you to
fry your husband some eggs

instead of bringin' him
down here to eat this junk?

- I'll have those slim jims.
- The hell you will!

You're not gonna order from
me, you will not order from him!

Now, you listen up,
you cheese heads!

All of my life,

all I have ever done
is give to my family!

And what do I
get back in return?

The one time I want to
do somethin' for myself.

I want to take a
little trip to Hawaii.

They go and turn on
me like snakes in a pit!

You listen to me, you,
you ungrateful dipsticks!

This time you have gone too far!

Thelma harper
is goin' to Hawaii!

You can go choke on
your eggs in a blanket

'cause nothin' is
stoppin' me now!

- Thelma.
- What?

You're fired.

Well, Iola...

goodbye, Luau.

Goodbye, tiki torches.

So long, pupus.

Guess you're gonna have
Tom Selleck all to yourself.

Oh, I'm not goin' either.

Why not?

Well, what would Hawaii
be without all of you?

Just paradise.

I'm real sorry that you
got fired, Miss Harper.

Yeah, grandma. I hope
there's no hard feelings.

I just wasn't cut out
for that line of work.

Well, you are a little
old to be a burger boy.

Horse puckey!

It has nothin' to do with age.

Mr. Herdman hired
another senior citizen

and she's workin' out just fine.

Yeah? Well, what's
she got over you?

One big advantage,

she ain't got any
living relatives.