Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 3, Episode 11 - Where's There's Smoke - full transcript
Mama's plans for the Church Ladies League presidency are jeopardized with the arrival of an acquaintance if Bubba's who has run away from reform school.
Layer Jell-O, fruit, and
whipped cream, in glasses
for a truly peppy party parfait.
Well, I love a parfait with pep.
Hold it, Naomi. Where
do you think you're goin'?
I have had a terrible
day at Food Circus.
I have got to get downstairs
and take a load off.
Leave your load right there.
I need you to help me get ready
for reverend and Mrs. Meechum.
Oh, no! I'm exhausted.
Can't you invite them to
dinner some other night?
Are you nuts? Reverend
Meechum's schedule is booked.
As it is, he had to back
out of givin' that invocation
at the openin' of the
new Baskin-Robbins.
Let's get in here
and get the table set.
Alright, but you owe me one.
Vinton, for cryin' out loud,
pick up these newspapers!
Reverend's gonna think
we've been housebreakin'
puppies in here.
What's the big deal?
Reverend Meechum's seen
the inside of our house before.
Only at weddings and funerals.
There's nothin' like a dead body
to keep you from noticin' the
dust bunnies under the sofa.
If it makes you nervous,
why did you invite
the Meechums to
dinner in the first place?
I have never been
one to toot my own horn
but it's time you two
heard the good news.
Naomi... guess who
has been nominated
for president of the
Church Ladies' League.
Who?
Pia Zadora.
Does she go to our church?
I'm talkin' about
me, you nitwit.
I think that's wonderful.
Congratulations, Ms. Harper.
- Congratulations, mama.
- Well, thank you.
Anyway, I haven't got it yet.
It's between me and that
busybody Roselle Huflander.
Well, you got it all sewed up.
Nobody's gonna
vote for that old bat.
It is not by votes, Naomi.
The reverend
appoints the president.
And Alberta Meechum
and Roselle are just like this.
They've got arthritis?
Lord, give me strength.
Bubba, for cryin' out loud
what did you do,
mug Mr. Whipple?
No, I was just TP-ing
Melanie Noble's front yard.
You did what in her front yard?
I TP'd it.
You throw rolls of toilet paper
all over the trees and bushes
to show a girl how
much you love her.
That is so sweet.
And what did Melanie do
to show that she loves you back?
She called the cops.
Bubba Higgins,
have you forgotten
you are on probation
from Juvenile Hall?
One more run-in with the law
and you're gonna be
TP-ing the slammer.
Bubba, speakin' of the clink,
did you read about that girl
who busted out of Juvenile Hall?
What girl?
It says in the paper she
jumped from the fence
into Ray River and
swam to freedom.
Her name is Bonita Rokiki.
Oh, no. Not the "Keek."
- The Keek?
- That's what we called her.
She was the
meanest kid at juvie.
Once, she took a bite
out of the warden's desk.
Would you look at that
face? Al Capone in a ponytail.
What is she in for?
Well, when she didn't
get elected prom queen
she burned down her high school.
Alright, fine! Fine!
Please pick up this
trash and get upstairs
and change into somethin'
nice for the Meechums?
- And wear a tie.
- Aw, grandma, not a tie!
Bubba, mind your grandmother.
I want you wearin' a tie, too.
- Oh, not a tie!
- Vinton, get a move on!
Naomi, you get in here and
help me finish these parfaits.
- Yes, ma'am - Oh, no!
My whippin' cream!
Oh, no!
My peppy party
parfaits are ruined!
Well, you see,
what's happened here
is that you left that
mix-master on too long.
Well, thank you, Julia Child.
Open the window, you dork!
Oh, no. The Keek!
Bonita, what're you doin' here?
I can't resist a nerd
in paisley underwear.
Are you gonna help me in?
Gee, Bonita, how
did you find me?
I saw you runnin'
down the street
and I followed your
toilet paper trail.
Did you hear I busted out?
Sure, it was in all
the papers, Keek.
- What did you call me?
- Uh, B-Bonita.
- I called you Bonita.
- That's good.
'Cause the last scuzzbag
who called me Keek
got a tongue-ectomy.
Well, it served him right.
Listen... been great seein' you.
You'll have to climb
back up again sometime.
I ain't goin' anywhere.
I've been on the
run for two days.
I'm starved and I need
a place to hide out.
How about the new Raymada
Inn down by the mall?
Listen, slimebag,
I'm stayin' here,
and anybody that stands
in my way is dead meat.
Alright, Bubba, I know
what's goin' on in here.
You don't fool me. I know
exactly what you're up to.
- You do?
- Yes.
You're foolin' with them drums
when you're supposed to
be gettin' your clothes on.
- Right.
- Now, listen.
I've been nominated
for president
of the Church Ladies' League.
Reverend and Mrs. Meechum
are comin' tonight. It's important...
I'm not tryin' to sell you a
vacuum cleaner. Open the door!
Bubba... will you
quit stallin' around
and put on your shirt and tie?
Yes, ma'am. I was
just about to do that.
Fine.
Aah!
- What is it now?
- I'm out of shirts.
Ties, too. Darn. I guess, I'll
have to stay up here tonight.
Horse puckey. I put clean
shirts in there just this mornin'.
Then they must be
in there somewhere.
Ha! Son of a gun!
I've had enough
of your foolishness.
Now, you listen here.
There will be no monkey business
in front of reverend and
Mrs. Meechum tonight!
I'll be darned if
you're gonna wear
that God-awful
tie with this shirt!
- Grandma!
- What is it, Bubba?
Isn't that the Meechums' car?
It better not be. They weren't
supposed to be here till 8:00.
I'll be down soon
as I put on my tie.
Lord. What else could go wrong?
The Meechums are
early, you're squirrelly,
and my parfaits
have lost their pep.
I'll tell you what
else could go wrong.
If you don't bring me up
somethin' to eat right now,
I'm goin' downstairs
and ask the reverend
to pass the peace.
Vinton, Naomi, they're here!
It's just like that
Alberta Meechum
to try and catch me off guard.
I'd like to ring
that woman's neck.
Alberta, dear. Reverend
Meechum. Come on in.
Good evenin', Thelma.
How nice of you to have us.
- You did say 7:30?
- Yes, of course.
I thought you said it was 8:00.
7:30 or 8:00, the Meechums
are welcome here anytime.
Alberta, you remember my
son Vinton and his wife Naomi?
I've never seen them in church
but I do remember
Naomi from Food Circus.
I'm awfully sorry I
yelled at you this mornin'
but my check stand is clearly
marked "10 items or less."
And had I let you
get away with 11
I would have to let everybody.
Thelma, how fortunate you are
to have such a
conscientious daughter-in-law.
Oh, my, yes. We
just love her to death.
Why don't we all sit down?
You know, Thelma, I haven't
been in your lovely home
since your Sister
Fran's funeral.
And I bet we have
even more fun tonight.
Thanks.
You all remember
my grandson Bubba.
Hi!
Bubba's in trainin'
for the '88 Olympics.
An inspiration to us all.
Speakin' of inspiration, Thelma.
I think the Church
Ladies' League
was so wise to nominate
you for president this year.
I'm just honored
to be in the runnin'
with somebody as wonderful
as Roselle Huflander.
As well you should be.
Thelma, I just can't
take my eyes off
this unusual Marlin ashtray.
Well, thank you.
That's my pride and joy.
I never knew you smoked.
Oh, I don't. Nobody
in my family smokes.
That thing is
strictly for looks only.
Never held a butt.
That's right.
Ms. Harper won't
even let Vinton use it
when he has his
poker night over here.
Poker night?
She's afraid it'll get
broken in a drunken brawl.
Well, uh, who's
ready for dinner?
Why don't you all come over
and make yourselves at home
and I'll be out with
the first course.
What the hell do
you think you're doin'?
Just makin' a snack
to take upstairs.
This is our dinner,
you lamebrain!
You listen to me, you're
gonna sit at the table
and be a perfect
little gentleman.
I'm gettin' raked over the
coals by that dragon lady.
Should I do anything, Thelma?
Not a thing, sweetie.
I'm just fixin' Bubba's tie.
We'll be right out
with those salads.
Lord, I swear that woman
would put Mother Teresa on edge.
Reverend Meechum, do
you think you could help
Vinton and I settle an argument
about the Ten Commandments?
It's so excitin' when I
find a young couple today
who are grapplin' to
understand the word.
Tell me, exactly where
do you two disagree
on the Ten Commandments?
Well, Vinton says no
but I say Charlton Heston
won an academy award for it.
I have no idea.
I guess it's just one of
those religious questions
that all men ponder.
Alrighty, here we go.
I hope you all like
pineapple salad.
It looks lovely, Thelma.
I don't mind tellin'
you I am starved.
You're not the only
one that's hungry.
How right you are, my son.
There is a great
hunger above us.
Who told you?
Who do you think?
Reverend Meechum, would you
do us the honor of sayin' grace?
I'd be proud.
Dear father, we know there
is a great hunger above us.
A hunger for lost souls.
Please, as we travel
your highways and byways
help us to be ever
mindful of that fact
that we, too, may help to fill
your cup with human kindness.
And please bless this
food that is before us
and help it to
nourish our bodies
for the everlastin'
glory of your name.
Good Lord in heaven!
- Amen.
- Hallelujah. Amen.
You all eat up.
I got to check
somethin' in the kitchen.
Hello. 911? This
is Thelma Harper.
I know the whereabouts of
that escaped convict in the paper
Bonita Rokiki.
Yes, here in my house.
She's lurkin' around outside.
She could be here to murder
us or burn the place down!
Who knows what
that girl is thinkin'?
No. Don't you dare
put me on hold!
They're playin' Muzak.
They want you to
listen to Barry Manilow
while you're waitin'
for your throat to be slit.
♪♪ Her name was Lola ♪♪
♪♪ She was a showgirl ♪♪
♪♪ With yellow
feathers in her hair ♪♪
♪♪ And a dress cut down to
there she would merengue ♪♪
♪♪ And do the cha-cha
and while she tried... ♪♪
Grandma. Grandma, why
you singin' into the phone?
I am callin' the cops
on your little friend!
You can't do that!
Kids from juvie don't
rat on each other.
I happen to be a
law-abidin' citizen.
I can rat on anybody.
Bonita's not so bad,
o-once you get to know her.
Fine, I'll look her up at
the next prison rodeo.
But, grandma, she's
just a kid, like me.
Got off to kind of a
rough start in her life.
She's hungry, and she's scared.
She doesn't mean us any harm.
Give her a chance,
please, grandma.
Alright, Bubba.
Besides, a person can only
take so much easy listenin'.
Thanks, grandma.
She just came here
for some food, anyway.
Now that she's not gonna get
any hopefully she's moved on.
Now, who could that be?
I'll get it, mama!
Don't get it, Vinton!
Don't get that!
Good evening.
Is there somethin' I can...
Uh, is there... Mama!
Well, Thelma, who have we here?
Where? Oh, you mean her.
Oh, Ms. Harper,
you know who that is?
Yes, I know exactly who that is!
That's, uh, our new
foreign-exchange student, Inga.
Who?
You know. Inga.
Yeah, and I'll bet
she's just starving.
Boy, those Scandinavians
have incredible appetites.
What part of Sweden
are you from, Inga?
Uh, Inga doesn't
speak a word of English.
- Uh, Vinton...
- Oh.
Tell me, Inga, what church
do you attend in Sweden?
Rolls!
She means "Holy Rollers."
Thelma, do you think it's wise
to have such a young,
impressionable girl
living in the same
house with Bubba?
And just what is
wrong with Bubba?
Well, he is a known felon
who has served
time in reform school.
No offense, Bubba.
Alberta, Juvenile
hall is not a prison.
It is a wonderful place where
they try to help young people.
Ha!
Inga, shut the puss,
or back to juvie.
If Juvenile Hall is so wonderful
why do all the delinquents
escape in droves
like that wild girl yesterday?
- What was her name?
- Bonita Rokiki.
What a minute!
Mama, that's not Inga!
That's the Keek!
- The Keek?
- My name is Bonita.
Lloyd, another convict!
The place is crawling with them!
It's like having dinner with
Ma Barker and her gang!
Now, just a damn minute here!
No offense, reverend.
Alberta, where do you get off
passin' judgment on my family
not to mention this
girl you don't know?
Everybody was about
to give up on Bubba
and all he needed was a
little love and encouragement!
Maybe that's all
Bonita needs, too.
Plus a few table manners
and some fashion tips.
You know, Bonita, juvie wasn't
exactly a picnic for me, either
but I stuck it out.
And things have been really
great here ever since then.
Yeah, I could sure
go for a setup like this.
Maybe I'll just stay here.
Stayin' here is not
the answer, Bonita.
Listen to Bubba. He knows
what he's talkin' about.
You can't just run away
from your problems.
You don't stand
a chance out there
unless you go
back to Juvenile Hall
and finish your
sentence, like I did.
I guess you're right.
What do you say, Bonita?
How about if me and Bubba
give you a ride back to juvie?
Okay.
Thanks for dinner, Ms. Harper.
And if you ever need a
foreign-exchange student
you know where to find me.
You bet I do.
- Bye-bye, sweetie.
- Bye.
Now, wasn't that sweet?
And you were worried
about your dinner party.
Yes, it's been quite an
eye-opening experience.
- Shall we go, Lloyd?
- Not so fast, Alberta.
I haven't had my say.
Uh-oh.
- Thelma.
- Yes, sir?
The president of the
Church Ladies' League
must set an example to
the entire congregation.
She should be above reproach
and a paragon
of Christian virtue.
- I couldn't agree more.
- That's right.
Kick her when she's down!
That is why, Thelma harper,
I cannot think of
a better person
to fill that position than you.
Way to go, Ms. Harper!
Oh, Reverend Meechum!
Oh, my Lord!
This is the happiest
day of my life!
Hot damn! Oh!
I did it again.
I have heard enough.
I will be waitin' in the car.
Fine. I'll be out soon as
I'm done with my parfait.
Okay, lady, freeze!
This is the 911
emergency-response unit.
We got you surrounded.
Aah! Aah.
I'll tell you what,
them 911 fellas
are Johnny-on-the-spot,
aren't they?
Okay, fellas, it's alright.
It was a false alarm.
Y'all wanna come on in
for a peppy party parfait?
Really, Thelma!
That is President Thelma
to you, sweet cheeks.
whipped cream, in glasses
for a truly peppy party parfait.
Well, I love a parfait with pep.
Hold it, Naomi. Where
do you think you're goin'?
I have had a terrible
day at Food Circus.
I have got to get downstairs
and take a load off.
Leave your load right there.
I need you to help me get ready
for reverend and Mrs. Meechum.
Oh, no! I'm exhausted.
Can't you invite them to
dinner some other night?
Are you nuts? Reverend
Meechum's schedule is booked.
As it is, he had to back
out of givin' that invocation
at the openin' of the
new Baskin-Robbins.
Let's get in here
and get the table set.
Alright, but you owe me one.
Vinton, for cryin' out loud,
pick up these newspapers!
Reverend's gonna think
we've been housebreakin'
puppies in here.
What's the big deal?
Reverend Meechum's seen
the inside of our house before.
Only at weddings and funerals.
There's nothin' like a dead body
to keep you from noticin' the
dust bunnies under the sofa.
If it makes you nervous,
why did you invite
the Meechums to
dinner in the first place?
I have never been
one to toot my own horn
but it's time you two
heard the good news.
Naomi... guess who
has been nominated
for president of the
Church Ladies' League.
Who?
Pia Zadora.
Does she go to our church?
I'm talkin' about
me, you nitwit.
I think that's wonderful.
Congratulations, Ms. Harper.
- Congratulations, mama.
- Well, thank you.
Anyway, I haven't got it yet.
It's between me and that
busybody Roselle Huflander.
Well, you got it all sewed up.
Nobody's gonna
vote for that old bat.
It is not by votes, Naomi.
The reverend
appoints the president.
And Alberta Meechum
and Roselle are just like this.
They've got arthritis?
Lord, give me strength.
Bubba, for cryin' out loud
what did you do,
mug Mr. Whipple?
No, I was just TP-ing
Melanie Noble's front yard.
You did what in her front yard?
I TP'd it.
You throw rolls of toilet paper
all over the trees and bushes
to show a girl how
much you love her.
That is so sweet.
And what did Melanie do
to show that she loves you back?
She called the cops.
Bubba Higgins,
have you forgotten
you are on probation
from Juvenile Hall?
One more run-in with the law
and you're gonna be
TP-ing the slammer.
Bubba, speakin' of the clink,
did you read about that girl
who busted out of Juvenile Hall?
What girl?
It says in the paper she
jumped from the fence
into Ray River and
swam to freedom.
Her name is Bonita Rokiki.
Oh, no. Not the "Keek."
- The Keek?
- That's what we called her.
She was the
meanest kid at juvie.
Once, she took a bite
out of the warden's desk.
Would you look at that
face? Al Capone in a ponytail.
What is she in for?
Well, when she didn't
get elected prom queen
she burned down her high school.
Alright, fine! Fine!
Please pick up this
trash and get upstairs
and change into somethin'
nice for the Meechums?
- And wear a tie.
- Aw, grandma, not a tie!
Bubba, mind your grandmother.
I want you wearin' a tie, too.
- Oh, not a tie!
- Vinton, get a move on!
Naomi, you get in here and
help me finish these parfaits.
- Yes, ma'am - Oh, no!
My whippin' cream!
Oh, no!
My peppy party
parfaits are ruined!
Well, you see,
what's happened here
is that you left that
mix-master on too long.
Well, thank you, Julia Child.
Open the window, you dork!
Oh, no. The Keek!
Bonita, what're you doin' here?
I can't resist a nerd
in paisley underwear.
Are you gonna help me in?
Gee, Bonita, how
did you find me?
I saw you runnin'
down the street
and I followed your
toilet paper trail.
Did you hear I busted out?
Sure, it was in all
the papers, Keek.
- What did you call me?
- Uh, B-Bonita.
- I called you Bonita.
- That's good.
'Cause the last scuzzbag
who called me Keek
got a tongue-ectomy.
Well, it served him right.
Listen... been great seein' you.
You'll have to climb
back up again sometime.
I ain't goin' anywhere.
I've been on the
run for two days.
I'm starved and I need
a place to hide out.
How about the new Raymada
Inn down by the mall?
Listen, slimebag,
I'm stayin' here,
and anybody that stands
in my way is dead meat.
Alright, Bubba, I know
what's goin' on in here.
You don't fool me. I know
exactly what you're up to.
- You do?
- Yes.
You're foolin' with them drums
when you're supposed to
be gettin' your clothes on.
- Right.
- Now, listen.
I've been nominated
for president
of the Church Ladies' League.
Reverend and Mrs. Meechum
are comin' tonight. It's important...
I'm not tryin' to sell you a
vacuum cleaner. Open the door!
Bubba... will you
quit stallin' around
and put on your shirt and tie?
Yes, ma'am. I was
just about to do that.
Fine.
Aah!
- What is it now?
- I'm out of shirts.
Ties, too. Darn. I guess, I'll
have to stay up here tonight.
Horse puckey. I put clean
shirts in there just this mornin'.
Then they must be
in there somewhere.
Ha! Son of a gun!
I've had enough
of your foolishness.
Now, you listen here.
There will be no monkey business
in front of reverend and
Mrs. Meechum tonight!
I'll be darned if
you're gonna wear
that God-awful
tie with this shirt!
- Grandma!
- What is it, Bubba?
Isn't that the Meechums' car?
It better not be. They weren't
supposed to be here till 8:00.
I'll be down soon
as I put on my tie.
Lord. What else could go wrong?
The Meechums are
early, you're squirrelly,
and my parfaits
have lost their pep.
I'll tell you what
else could go wrong.
If you don't bring me up
somethin' to eat right now,
I'm goin' downstairs
and ask the reverend
to pass the peace.
Vinton, Naomi, they're here!
It's just like that
Alberta Meechum
to try and catch me off guard.
I'd like to ring
that woman's neck.
Alberta, dear. Reverend
Meechum. Come on in.
Good evenin', Thelma.
How nice of you to have us.
- You did say 7:30?
- Yes, of course.
I thought you said it was 8:00.
7:30 or 8:00, the Meechums
are welcome here anytime.
Alberta, you remember my
son Vinton and his wife Naomi?
I've never seen them in church
but I do remember
Naomi from Food Circus.
I'm awfully sorry I
yelled at you this mornin'
but my check stand is clearly
marked "10 items or less."
And had I let you
get away with 11
I would have to let everybody.
Thelma, how fortunate you are
to have such a
conscientious daughter-in-law.
Oh, my, yes. We
just love her to death.
Why don't we all sit down?
You know, Thelma, I haven't
been in your lovely home
since your Sister
Fran's funeral.
And I bet we have
even more fun tonight.
Thanks.
You all remember
my grandson Bubba.
Hi!
Bubba's in trainin'
for the '88 Olympics.
An inspiration to us all.
Speakin' of inspiration, Thelma.
I think the Church
Ladies' League
was so wise to nominate
you for president this year.
I'm just honored
to be in the runnin'
with somebody as wonderful
as Roselle Huflander.
As well you should be.
Thelma, I just can't
take my eyes off
this unusual Marlin ashtray.
Well, thank you.
That's my pride and joy.
I never knew you smoked.
Oh, I don't. Nobody
in my family smokes.
That thing is
strictly for looks only.
Never held a butt.
That's right.
Ms. Harper won't
even let Vinton use it
when he has his
poker night over here.
Poker night?
She's afraid it'll get
broken in a drunken brawl.
Well, uh, who's
ready for dinner?
Why don't you all come over
and make yourselves at home
and I'll be out with
the first course.
What the hell do
you think you're doin'?
Just makin' a snack
to take upstairs.
This is our dinner,
you lamebrain!
You listen to me, you're
gonna sit at the table
and be a perfect
little gentleman.
I'm gettin' raked over the
coals by that dragon lady.
Should I do anything, Thelma?
Not a thing, sweetie.
I'm just fixin' Bubba's tie.
We'll be right out
with those salads.
Lord, I swear that woman
would put Mother Teresa on edge.
Reverend Meechum, do
you think you could help
Vinton and I settle an argument
about the Ten Commandments?
It's so excitin' when I
find a young couple today
who are grapplin' to
understand the word.
Tell me, exactly where
do you two disagree
on the Ten Commandments?
Well, Vinton says no
but I say Charlton Heston
won an academy award for it.
I have no idea.
I guess it's just one of
those religious questions
that all men ponder.
Alrighty, here we go.
I hope you all like
pineapple salad.
It looks lovely, Thelma.
I don't mind tellin'
you I am starved.
You're not the only
one that's hungry.
How right you are, my son.
There is a great
hunger above us.
Who told you?
Who do you think?
Reverend Meechum, would you
do us the honor of sayin' grace?
I'd be proud.
Dear father, we know there
is a great hunger above us.
A hunger for lost souls.
Please, as we travel
your highways and byways
help us to be ever
mindful of that fact
that we, too, may help to fill
your cup with human kindness.
And please bless this
food that is before us
and help it to
nourish our bodies
for the everlastin'
glory of your name.
Good Lord in heaven!
- Amen.
- Hallelujah. Amen.
You all eat up.
I got to check
somethin' in the kitchen.
Hello. 911? This
is Thelma Harper.
I know the whereabouts of
that escaped convict in the paper
Bonita Rokiki.
Yes, here in my house.
She's lurkin' around outside.
She could be here to murder
us or burn the place down!
Who knows what
that girl is thinkin'?
No. Don't you dare
put me on hold!
They're playin' Muzak.
They want you to
listen to Barry Manilow
while you're waitin'
for your throat to be slit.
♪♪ Her name was Lola ♪♪
♪♪ She was a showgirl ♪♪
♪♪ With yellow
feathers in her hair ♪♪
♪♪ And a dress cut down to
there she would merengue ♪♪
♪♪ And do the cha-cha
and while she tried... ♪♪
Grandma. Grandma, why
you singin' into the phone?
I am callin' the cops
on your little friend!
You can't do that!
Kids from juvie don't
rat on each other.
I happen to be a
law-abidin' citizen.
I can rat on anybody.
Bonita's not so bad,
o-once you get to know her.
Fine, I'll look her up at
the next prison rodeo.
But, grandma, she's
just a kid, like me.
Got off to kind of a
rough start in her life.
She's hungry, and she's scared.
She doesn't mean us any harm.
Give her a chance,
please, grandma.
Alright, Bubba.
Besides, a person can only
take so much easy listenin'.
Thanks, grandma.
She just came here
for some food, anyway.
Now that she's not gonna get
any hopefully she's moved on.
Now, who could that be?
I'll get it, mama!
Don't get it, Vinton!
Don't get that!
Good evening.
Is there somethin' I can...
Uh, is there... Mama!
Well, Thelma, who have we here?
Where? Oh, you mean her.
Oh, Ms. Harper,
you know who that is?
Yes, I know exactly who that is!
That's, uh, our new
foreign-exchange student, Inga.
Who?
You know. Inga.
Yeah, and I'll bet
she's just starving.
Boy, those Scandinavians
have incredible appetites.
What part of Sweden
are you from, Inga?
Uh, Inga doesn't
speak a word of English.
- Uh, Vinton...
- Oh.
Tell me, Inga, what church
do you attend in Sweden?
Rolls!
She means "Holy Rollers."
Thelma, do you think it's wise
to have such a young,
impressionable girl
living in the same
house with Bubba?
And just what is
wrong with Bubba?
Well, he is a known felon
who has served
time in reform school.
No offense, Bubba.
Alberta, Juvenile
hall is not a prison.
It is a wonderful place where
they try to help young people.
Ha!
Inga, shut the puss,
or back to juvie.
If Juvenile Hall is so wonderful
why do all the delinquents
escape in droves
like that wild girl yesterday?
- What was her name?
- Bonita Rokiki.
What a minute!
Mama, that's not Inga!
That's the Keek!
- The Keek?
- My name is Bonita.
Lloyd, another convict!
The place is crawling with them!
It's like having dinner with
Ma Barker and her gang!
Now, just a damn minute here!
No offense, reverend.
Alberta, where do you get off
passin' judgment on my family
not to mention this
girl you don't know?
Everybody was about
to give up on Bubba
and all he needed was a
little love and encouragement!
Maybe that's all
Bonita needs, too.
Plus a few table manners
and some fashion tips.
You know, Bonita, juvie wasn't
exactly a picnic for me, either
but I stuck it out.
And things have been really
great here ever since then.
Yeah, I could sure
go for a setup like this.
Maybe I'll just stay here.
Stayin' here is not
the answer, Bonita.
Listen to Bubba. He knows
what he's talkin' about.
You can't just run away
from your problems.
You don't stand
a chance out there
unless you go
back to Juvenile Hall
and finish your
sentence, like I did.
I guess you're right.
What do you say, Bonita?
How about if me and Bubba
give you a ride back to juvie?
Okay.
Thanks for dinner, Ms. Harper.
And if you ever need a
foreign-exchange student
you know where to find me.
You bet I do.
- Bye-bye, sweetie.
- Bye.
Now, wasn't that sweet?
And you were worried
about your dinner party.
Yes, it's been quite an
eye-opening experience.
- Shall we go, Lloyd?
- Not so fast, Alberta.
I haven't had my say.
Uh-oh.
- Thelma.
- Yes, sir?
The president of the
Church Ladies' League
must set an example to
the entire congregation.
She should be above reproach
and a paragon
of Christian virtue.
- I couldn't agree more.
- That's right.
Kick her when she's down!
That is why, Thelma harper,
I cannot think of
a better person
to fill that position than you.
Way to go, Ms. Harper!
Oh, Reverend Meechum!
Oh, my Lord!
This is the happiest
day of my life!
Hot damn! Oh!
I did it again.
I have heard enough.
I will be waitin' in the car.
Fine. I'll be out soon as
I'm done with my parfait.
Okay, lady, freeze!
This is the 911
emergency-response unit.
We got you surrounded.
Aah! Aah.
I'll tell you what,
them 911 fellas
are Johnny-on-the-spot,
aren't they?
Okay, fellas, it's alright.
It was a false alarm.
Y'all wanna come on in
for a peppy party parfait?
Really, Thelma!
That is President Thelma
to you, sweet cheeks.