Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 2, Episode 17 - Mama for Mayor: Part 2 - full transcript

In part 2,Thelma has successfully unseated Mayor Tutwiller from office. Altough she starts off okay,she soon discovers there's more to being Mayor than she thought. Her attempts at holding meetings are hilarious! She realizes she's not as qualified as she thought herself to be and soon almost the whole town is against her. Mama has to swallow her pride and admit she's failed but how can she undo this fiasco? Surprsingly,daughter Ellen has the answer!

[Dixieland music]

[music continues]

[cheering]

She hasn't declared
her candidacy, but...

- My mother is not runnin'!
- The hell I ain't!

(Thelma) ♪♪ 'Cause harper
days are here once more ♪♪

♪♪ Thelma harper's
one you can't ignore ♪♪

♪♪ For the ills of
Raytown she will cure ♪♪

♪♪ Harper days are
here once more ♪♪

[cheering]

Grandma, when it's your
turn you'll introduce us all?



Oh sure, baby. I'm gonna
introduce the whole family.

At least those
that stuck with me.

Sticks and stones, Mama...

Ladies, ladies,
please, we are starting.

Quiet down, everybody. The
inauguration's about to begin.

And to pass on
the gavel of office

it's my pleasure to introduce
former mayor of Raytown

Alvin B. Tutwiller.

[applause]

Thank you very much.

Well, I'm sure that Thelma
Harper will be a mayor

that Raytown will never forget.

I feel certain that
she will lead Raytown

in directions that we
never even knew existed.



And now, our mayor
elect, Thelma M. Harper.

[cheering and whistling]

It could be worse, Alwin.

At least they didn't
bring their noisemakers.

[noisemakers rattling]

Way to go, Mama!

It is not hereditary, Alvin.

I swear, it is not hereditary.

A good day to all of you.

I wanna thank everybody in
Raytown who voted for me.

But most especially, I
want to say thank you

to my campaign
team, the Harper family.

[cheering and whistling]

Alright, alright.
Repeat after me.

Repeat after me.
"I, Thelma Harper...

- I, Thelma Harper...
- "Do solemnly swear...

Don't forget to take a picture!

"To uphold the
constitution of Raytown...

- To uphold...
- Will you back off with that?

I'm sorry, there
must be a loose wire.

Tell me about it.

"To uphold the
constitution of Raytown...

To uphold the
constitution of Raytown...

Vinton, for cryin' loud

the glare off the mayor's
head's blindin' me.

That's it. You want the
gavel, take the gavel.

You want the town, take it.

Take the state,
take a bus. Come on.

I guess that was
his farewell address.

Vinton, for cryin' out...

Where do you think,
you're goin' here?

Just look at this massive
desk they have given you!

I think I'll include
it in my article

"Harper... the
first three days."

Be sure you say that it
once belonged to, Lincoln.

- Abraham Lincoln?
- No, Sam Lincoln.

He was the mayor
that fought so hard

to get Raytown on
the auto-club maps.

Before Sam, all we were
was a footnote in the index

that said, "Eat
here and get gas."

Oh, and I've got my own
personal secretary, Felicia.

She's been here for
five administrations.

- Wow.
- Can you beat that?

Enough with this chitchat. I
got me an entire city to run.

So long, Your Highness!

Just call me "madam". I
got so much to do here...

[sighing]

[pencil sharpener whirring]

[imitating airplane]

Mayor Harper...

I do hope, I'm
not disturbing you.

No, I was just straightening
up my desk here, Felicia.

The council meeting's
in a few minutes.

- We better check your schedule.
- Okay, shoot.

After the council
meeting, there's lunch.

You'll be discussing
the Simcox Amendment

and the Mahoney Bill.

Which one do you
want to give priority to?

- I'll have to get back to you.
- Mm, right...

After lunch, Councilman Bigelow
wants to review Proposition 32.

Is that okay with you?

"Proposition 32."

Well, I've been
thinkin' about that.

At the ladies' club banquet,
do you want fish or chicken?

Chicken! Chicken,
chicken, chicken!

Be sure, you put
down for that chicken.

Fine. The council
meeting is in a few minutes.

Will there be anything else?

No.

Oh, yes.

Uh, Felicia, bein' as how
I'm sorta new at all of this

where would I check up
on that Simcox Amendment

and that Mahoney Bill stuff?

Haven't you gone
through your files?

No, but I did give the
pencil sharpener a whirl.

Well, here.

And, uh, here.

And... here.

And when you're through with
these, I've got some more files.

[indistinct chatter]

Ladies and gentlemen, I give
you our new mayor, Thelma Harper.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mayor Harper, the
meeting doesn't start

until you pound the gavel.

Oh, well, I've been
lookin' forward to this.

What now?

Tradition has it we do
not sit until, the mayor sits.

Oh, well,
that's-that's very nice.

Thank you.

These meetings are
real quiet, aren't they?

They're waiting
for you to start.

Oh. This meetin' is
now called to order.

[pounds gavel three times]

Uh-oh, what now?

Three knocks of the
gavel is the signal to stand.

It's two to start
and one to sit.

Didn't you read the
meeting manual?

I've been swamped with
that Simcox Amendment...

Mayor Harper, we don't
have that much time.

I know, I know that.

[pounds gavel thrice]

Gotcha!

I love this, this is a hoot.

Could we get started, please?
We've got a full calendar.

Well, I know that.
Just hold your horses.

I just wanna say one thing.
I'm a very quick learner.

Now that I'm mayor, I
intend that all these meetings

will be held in an
orderly fashion.

[indistinct chatter]

I called for order
and I mean it.

Order, order, order!

Order, damn it!

Betty Ahern, you should
be ashamed of yourself

for startin' this ruckus!

My motion was bein' defeated!

If you don't shut up I'm gonna
show you the agony of defeat!

Mayor harper, the chair cannot
threaten a council member!

What in the world is this chair
that you keep talkin' about?

For the tenth time,
you are the chair!

Oh, yeah? Well,
you are the sofa!

Now, can we please vote
on this Foley Amendment?

You cannot vote on
the Foley Amendment

because there's still a
question on the main motion.

- Says who?
- He's our parliamentarian.

Ed, I don't care
what religion he is.

I'd just like to
vote on this thing!

You're out of order!

Yeah, well, you're
closed for repairs.

May I remind everyone there's
a subsidiary motion on the floor.

Pick it up, so we
can all get out!

There cannot be
a subsidiary motion

while there's a question
on the main motion!

Where did we find this wise...

Mayor Harper, it is just
"Robert's rules of order"!

Where the hell's Robert?

Let him come in here and
straighten this mess out!

Oh, this is hopeless!

It's not hopeless.

Do I have the authority
to adjourn this meeting?

If you do, you'll turn the
whole council against you.

Besides, it's not
in "Robert's rules".

Tough noogies! This
meetings adjourned.

And that's according
to Thelma's rules!

[arguing continues]

You better do somethin'
fast, Ms. Harper.

Even the press has
turned against you now.

Boy, they have,
too, haven't they?

They love to make
you their darlin'

as soon as you make a
couple of piddly little mistakes

they jump on your
case like a heat rash.

Speaking as a
member of the press

if I'm gonna send a
good news release on you

I have to be apprised
of the real situation.

There is nothin' goin on!

There is a tiny
little garbage strike.

There's an itty-bitty
transit walkout.

I don't understand how this
happened in a few short days.

Stubbornness, plain and
simple, that's all it was.

For example, you
take the buses...

We can't. They're on strike.

All I did was suggest that
I would like to pass a bill

makin' it mandatory
for the bus drivers

to drop the senior citizens
off right at their doors.

That's when they went on strike?

No, it was when I asked
if they would please

install some cushions on
those bus-stop benches.

Lord, you know how
them wooden slatty things

can play hell with
your fanny, Frannie.

Be that as it may, the mood
in Raytown is growing ugly.

I think you better
do something quick

or you may be presiding
at your own lynching.

It might be wise if you
started by readin' this stuff.

I am tryin' to. I got
a truckload here.

Oh, you better
read this one fast.

Here, this one's a motion
callin' for your resignation.

(altogether) Uh-oh!

Blimeny! What am I gonna do now?

Mayor, I'm terribly
sorry to interrupt.

But you're due at that
groundbreaking ceremony.

I'm busy here, Felicia.

Can't you get somebody
else to break the dumb ground?

That's the kind of good
publicity you need right now.

- I advise you to do it.
- Oh, alright.

There's one thing. There're 50
angry pickets blocking the way.

- What now?
- It's the sons of Lithuania.

Apparently they're upset
about some joke you told.

Cry-babies, cry-babies.

This town is filled with
nothin' but cry-babies!

They're pretty mad. It'll
be rough getting through.

Oh, it will not.
Gimme that helmet.

Gimme this. Alright,
escape plan number two.

Here we go, Fall in. Walk
this way, grab that purse.

[Country music]

(man over radio) Good
morning It's K-Ray news.

The news for today.

Raytownians, move to
impeach, Mayor Harper.

Apparently the
stress of the strikes

have taken their toll on the
mayor as evidenced yesterday

at a groundbreaking ceremony
for the new day-care center.

Mayor, yelled at
four preschoolers

throwing dirt at one calling
another a "loudmouth brat".

Poor mama. I think
she's in over her head.

The sons of Lithuania
are picketing city hall

protesting a joke allegedly
told by Mayor Harper

concerning several Lithuanians
trying to change a light bulb.

In other news today...

I know she's over her head.

Sweetheart, wake up.

[mumbling]

Tutty, we've got
to do somethin'.

Oh, please, not again.

Mayor Harper, there are
30 more pickets out there.

Didn't you call the
police like I told you to?

Certainly, the chief of police
said if you want pre-schoolers

put in a paddy wagon,
you'll have to do it yourself.

By the way, your daughter
and Alvin Tutwiller are here.

Lord, bet they've come to gloat.

Go ahead, go on, let 'em in.

Uh-huh, yes, we've
taken care of that.

Yes, that problem has
been taken care of also.

Thank you so much for
callin'. Yeah, bye-bye.

- I came as soon as I heard.
- Heard what?

You don't have to play possum
with us. We're here to help.

That's very nice of you, Alvin.

Things were bumpy, I've
got it all under control now.

Hey! Hey, you!

It's from Cub Scout troop six.

They are pretty ticked off.

Oh, it's nothin'. Give it here.

Oh, Mama, this has gone too
far. The whole town is in an uproar.

Maybe that's what
this town needs.

To be shaken up a little bit.

You know, Ms.
Harper, you're right.

We did need to be
shook up. And I did, too.

I've been doin' a lot
of thinkin' about this.

To be a successful mayor
you gotta be a human bein'

first and a politician second.

I was runnin' thin on
the human bein' side.

Alvin, I believe that's the
best speech you ever made.

Thank you, Thelma.

Be that as it may
you need a politician

to get you out of this mess.

If there were any problems

which there aren't how
would you solve 'em, Alvin?

For starters, I'd send some
candy to the Cub Scouts.

- Candy?
- Mm-hmm.

I'd see if I could
get the police

that dental insurance that
they've been after for so long.

- Dental insurance.
- Yeah.

You fill a cop's cavity,
you got a friend for life.

Cavities.

Say, you know anything
about that Ahern amendment?

Betty Ahern has been a
thorn in my side for years.

If she starts to get too pushy

you remind when she
was a topless dancer

at the Boomerang
Room out on Route 5.

- She was?
- Sure.

You never heard of bouncin'
Betty who moves like spaghetti?

Moves like spaghetti.

Well, Tutty, old Lincoln
was right when he says

"The guy that knows most of
the poop can lead the troop."

Abraham Lincoln said that?

- No, Sam Lincoln.
- No, Sam Lincoln.

The man was an imbecile.

On behalf of the entire
council, Mayor Harper

I'd like to congratulate you
on the turnaround of events.

We don't know how
you brought it about

but we'd like to give you a
complete vote of confidence.

With your permission,
we'll move on to the meetin'.

Just a minute, Ed. I
would just like to say

that when I was elected
mayor of Raytown

I promised to do my very best.

I tried my hardest, but my
hardest just wasn't good enough.

A couple of days ago I finally
figured out what was best.

What I'd like to do is give
my job back to, Alvin Tutwiller.

He's the one who's responsible

for straightening
mess out, not me.

So, I would like to make a
motion that, Alvin Tutwiller

be reinstated as
mayor of Raytown.

You can't do that. There
has to be another election.

I been doin' my homework here.

Raytown constitution, page
32, section 5, paragraph 9,

subparagraph 3, code "A".

"Any mayor having served a
term of less than two weeks

"may reassign his duties
to the previous mayor.

"in the event of his resignation
due to pressin' family matters."

Believe me, I've got the most
pressin' family in Raytown.

Now, all in favor say, "aye".

Well, there you are that
passed unanimously.

Here you go. You can get on
about your business, Mr. Mayor.

Alright, let's call
this meeting to order.

Where's my gavel?

(Tutwiller) You can't start
a meeting without a gavel.

I'm gonna miss
this little sucker.

Lord, when I told the council

that I had pressin' family
matters, I had no idea

I was talkin' about two
weeks' worth of ironin'.

I tried to do it
myself, Grandma.

Yeah, when Sonia did,
it looked like somebody

had rolled our shirts
through a typewriter.

Vinton, sure missed
your cookin', Ms. Harper.

Honey, there's only so much I
can do with weenies and beans.

We're all glad to
have you home, Mama.

Oh, more than that, Mama.
Now that Alvin's mayor again

it will really reinforce his
aspirations to be governor.

If I know you, you'll
follow his aspirations

all the way to
the State Capital.

I will thank you to
remember, Mama

that I saved your
aspiration on this one.

So you were right.
I wasn't qualified.

Shoot, you know
you're in trouble

when the Cub Scouts have
got a contract out on you.

As Lincoln once said

"You can fool some of
the people all of the time

"and all of the people
some of the time

"but you cannot fool all of
the people all of the time."

(Thelma) For cryin' out loud

didn't that Sam
Lincoln ever shut up?