Mama's Family (1983–1990): Season 1, Episode 8 - Double Standard - full transcript
Vint tells Buzz he can stay out an hour later than Sonja at the homecoming dance.
[♪♪♪]
And so then just two days after
she'd spent 600
bucks in medical tests
giving her a
clean bill of health,
poor thing, her heart gives out,
and she drops dead in the
middle of making potato salad.
Oh, Mama, please,
not while we're eating.
Hm. Well, you asked
me how my day was.
How was your day, lover?
Oh.
Locksmiths never have
good days. Was terrible.
That crazy Mrs. Zanetis
over on Felbar Street
got locked out of her
house stark naked.
[CHUCKLES]
It took me an hour and a
half to get through the crowd.
I'm finished. Can I be excused?
Well, now, just a minute.
Don't you want dessert?
It's my special rhubarb pudding.
Oh, no, thanks.
I thought you loved
my rhubarb pudding.
I have to get ready for
the homecoming dance.
Well, just what is this
homecoming, anyway?
Randy's picking me
up in a half an hour.
We're doubling. I gotta go.
Yeah, me too. Like,
I don't even know
what color my eyelids
are gonna be yet.
Uh... By the way, I want
you both home by midnight.
Midnight? I'm sure.
Dad, why do we
have to have a curfew?
Yeah. And why do I have
the same curfew as he has?
I'm older than he is.
Because you're a girl.
Vinton, what kind
of reason is that?
Wait a minute.
You mean, if I was a boy,
I'd have a later curfew?
It doesn't matter,
because you're not a boy.
You could all be eating your
pudding while you're talking.
Look, suppose 17 years ago,
the nurse brought
you a little baby.
And instead of saying,
"Look, it's a little baby
girl named Sonja,"
she says, "Look, you've got a
little baby boy named Arthur."
How'd you get the
name Sonja, anyway?
After her Aunt Sonja.
She was a schoolteacher
for 35 years,
and then suddenly one
day she went berserk
and set fire to the gym.
So, Daddy, now I'm Arthur,
going to the dance tonight,
and Buzz gets a 12:00 curfew.
What curfew do I get?
Well, if you were Arthur,
you could stay
out later, of course.
Well, now, I say Arthur's
too young to stay out that late.
They should both be in by 12.
Oh, Ms. Harper, you have to
give later curfews to the older kids.
Well, if you kept doing that,
by the time they were 21,
they wouldn't be coming
home till breakfast.
Well, I can't believe this.
Nancy Ortell is a girl,
and her parents
let her stay out till 1.
Well, them Ortells
are half nuts.
You never do see him
out of Bermuda shorts,
and I swear I don't
think she owns a dress.
Dad. All the guys are
gonna think I'm a sissy.
Well, when's their curfews?
They don't have any.
Can't you relax
it just this once?
It's a special night.
The curfew is midnight,
and the subject is closed.
Then why bother to go?
By that time we get there,
we're just gonna have to turn
around and come home again.
Maybe that's why
they call it homecoming.
Kids. Nothing but grief.
It never gets better.
[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
Well. Heh.
I bet you're all excited about
it being homecoming and all.
I guess.
[GROANS]
You know, uh...
Want to borrow
one of my clip-ons?
No, thanks.
So who's the lucky girl?
Deanna Parker.
Yeah. I bet she's
a real fox, huh?
Well, she's okay.
Just okay?
Then why'd you ask her out?
Well, I like her. I
can talk with her.
Well, that's good. If
that's what you like.
[GROANS, SIGHS]
You sure you don't
want that clip-on?
No, I'll get it. I'll get it.
Uh... Buzz, look, uh...
I couldn't tell you this
in front of your sister,
but, uh, you
can stay out till 1.
How come? Well, look,
see, I'm... I'm a guy,
and you're a guy.
And a guy knows that sometimes
a guy needs a little more time,
you know, to, uh,
do, you know...
guy stuff.
Well, I guess I could
always use a little more time.
I am a guy. Yeah.
Buzz, you know,
when I was in, uh,
high school, my...
My dad didn't
understand anything
about what my
life was like, and I...
I just want you to
know that I understand.
Great. Is that it?
No, no, no, no. I mean,
I... I really understand.
I mean, a while
ago when you said
that the guys would
call you a sissy.
Well, it all come back to me. I
had the exact same problem.
See, the guys used to laugh
at me because I had a curfew.
Well, what time was your curfew?
Nine o'clock.
[LAUGHING]
Well, 9:00 was a
different time then.
Anyway, the point is,
you can stay out till 1.
Oh, gee, thanks, Dad.
What about Sonja?
Sonja still has to
be in at midnight.
It doesn't matter if the
guys call her a sissy.
[CHUCKLES]
So don't say
anything to her, huh?
Oh, don't worry.
Uh... Buzz, you, uh... [SNIFFS]
You got any questions?
[SIGHS]
Yeah, how come they
call it a tie when you can't?
No, I mean, uh, you
know, about, uh, girls.
You... You got any
questions about that? No.
Well, sure you do. I do?
Well, Buzz, now look,
y-you might find
this hard to believe,
but, uh... at one
time, I was a...
A young man like myself?
Right. Right.
And I was considered
quite the, uh...
[CHUCKLES]
Stud?
No.
Well, let's just... Let's
just say lady's man.
And, uh, I know
that a young boy...
Well... A young man your age
has, uh... [SWALLOWS HARD]
certain, uh...
Uh... Things happening
inside his body?
Yeah.
That create certain
desires and needs.
Something coursing
through his veins...
Yeah, all right, all right.
That's, uh... That's
what I meant.
And I... I know that,
uh, after the dance,
you're gonna probably
wanna get in the car,
and, uh, you know, uh...
Go park up at Raypoint?
Huh...
Let... Let me help you
with that. Oh. Yeah.
And... But, Buzz, uh...
a young man and a young woman
can sometimes get, uh...
Uh... Carried away?
Carried away.
And, uh, you really got to...
Dad, didn't we cover all this
the night that Topaz
had her puppies?
Well, yeah, I guess we did,
but, you know, I like
to have this little talk
from time to time, because
otherwise, you know...
I know. How am I
gonna learn anything.
[CHUCKLES]
Well... glad we
had this little chat.
Yeah.
Have a good time tonight. Okay.
You, uh, got any more questions?
Can I borrow that clip-on tie?
Oh.
[CHUCKLES] Yes.
Can somebody
help me zip this up?
Oh, sure, honey. I will.
Come over here, turn around.
[ZIPS]
There. Let me look at you.
[GASPS]
Sonja, don't you look pretty.
Doesn't she look
pretty, Ms. Harper?
Well, as much as you
can tell with her shoulders
slumped over and that
expression on her face,
yeah, she looks pretty.
So are you excited
about tonight?
I've been out before, Naomi.
Sonja, did your mama
ever talk to you about boys?
Well, she told me never
to marry a locksmith.
I see.
Well, see, dealing with
boys can be very tricky.
Now, if you're too cold,
then they go away from you.
But if you're too hot,
then you get a bad reputation.
Well, what if I just
stay lukewarm?
I got some better advice.
If he lays a hand
on you, scream.
If he tries it again, tear
his arm off at the elbow.
Well, isn't this a sight? Hee.
My three favorite
women in the whole world.
Whoo! Isn't my daughter pretty?
She sure is.
So who's the lucky boy?
Michael Skinner.
Skinner, Skinner. We
know any Skinners?
Is he good-looking
like your daddy?
Aw. I don't know.
There's a foot doctor
down at the mall, Skinner.
Or is that Brenner?
Is he on a team? I don't know.
How did you two
meet? I don't know.
Are they new in
the neighborhood?
Where are they
from? I don't know.
Huh. Is he an honor
student? I don't know!
Then why are you
going out with him?
Well, he asked me.
Well, would you jump off
a cliff if he asked you to?
Yeah. No. I mean, I don't know.
Then why'd you say yes to him?
He's a senior. And
he's got a nice car.
And he invited me to this
party that Barbara Raybeen said
I'd never be invited
to in a million years.
Not that I can stay long.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get it.
Ooh, that must be Sonja's date.
Hi, Michael. Hi, Sonja.
Well, I'm all ready.
Let's go.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a second there.
Wait a second.
[CHUCKLES]
Aren't you...? Aren't
you gonna invite him in?
Oh.
Come on in.
VINT: Well...
Hi there, Michael.
I'm Mr. Harper. This
is my wife, Mrs. Harper.
And this is Sonja's grandmother,
M-Mrs. Harper.
Now, sit down here,
Michael. Sit down. Heh.
Make yourself comfortable.
We'll have us
a nice little chat.
Your father isn't a
foot doctor, is he?
No. W... I think he's a lawyer.
So how did you and Sonja meet?
Well... S... I don't know.
Have you known each other long?
I don't know.
Well, I can sure see
how the two of you
hit it off so well.
[CAR HORN HONKS OUTSIDE]
That's Randy. Oh,
Dad, where's my tie?
Oh, right here. Here.
Let me clip this on for you.
Now... have a real
good time tonight, huh?
Remember everything
I told you. Right.
Yeah. Bye.
Bye. Don't forget.
No later than 1.
Huh.
Michael, uh, you wanna wait
out in the car for a minute?
I don't know.
You do. Oh, sure.
Well, it was-s-s nice
meeting all of you.
Bye, Michael.
MAMA: Yes, Michael.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
You traitor!
Did you just tell Buzz
he could stay out till 1?
Well, yes, honeybunch,
but you see...
Vinton, you are a traitor.
Boy, thanks a lot, Dad.
You're really the
lowest, you know that?
Don't you talk to me like that.
Hush, Vinton. Don't
you see how hurt she is?
Oh, she'll get
over it. She's a kid.
She's a person.
She's my daughter,
and she'll do what
I say. Oh, stop it!
I'm never gonna
forgive you for this.
I gotta get out of here.
See you at midnight.
In your dreams.
Now, hold on there. Hold on.
Hold on there, little girl.
I may be leaving
this house a little girl,
but I'm coming
back here a woman.
Don't you dare come
back here a woman!
[CLOCK TICKING]
Nines?
Oh, honey. Hm?
Nines. Oh. No.
Shoot.
Nine minutes to 12.
Mama, are you...?
Mama?
Are you sure
that's the right time?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Mama, why don't
you go on to bed?
[YAWNING]
I ain't tired.
Oh, this is silly. Heh.
I don't even know why
we're staying up so late.
Because we want
to see when, and if,
Sonja comes home, that's why.
She'll be home on time.
Naomi, are you positive
that clock is right?
Well, yes, honey.
Don't make me call the
phone company again.
Phone company?
What do they know?
Not much.
I lost a dime in a
pay phone last month.
They sent me a 10-cent refund
in an envelope with
a 20-cent stamp.
How in the world they're
still in business is beyond me.
If that girl ain't home
in the next 10 minutes...
Well, no offense, honey,
but when you gave
Buzz that extra hour,
I don't blame her
for being upset.
I am just trying to protect
my daughter's reputation.
Say, why is it that
girls ruin their reputation
when they fool
around and boys don't?
Boys should.
Most of 'em are so bad at it.
Are you saying that
you approve of Sonja
staying out till all
hours of the night
and doing whatever she pleases,
and getting into Lord
knows what kind of trouble
that can haunt her
for the rest of her life?
No. She just wanted to stay out
a little later to
have a little fun.
Yeah, well, kids today
don't wanna have a little fun.
They wanna have a lot of fun.
Jacks? Go fish.
Well, I'll tell you what.
When I was dating Carl,
I told him in no uncertain terms
he wasn't gonna
get no place with me
till I got the little gold
band on my finger.
Once I got that little
gold band on my finger,
then we started talking fun.
Otherwise, he never
would've married me.
Ms. Harper, you just
wanted to hook him.
It worked.
[DOOR UNLOCKING]
Well, here she is now.
I knew my little baby girl
would be home on time.
[VINT CHUCKLES]
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, darling.
Young man, do you
know what time it is?
What are you doing
home so early? What...?
Uh, did you follow my advice?
Well, I tried. What happened?
Well, I'll tell you
later. I'm hungry.
There's still some
pudding in there.
I put a little cherry in
the center of each one,
just the way you like it.
Uh...
Your date probably had
to be home early, huh?
No.
Well, what time was her curfew?
She didn't have one.
Her parents trust her.
Really?
They must be Unitarians.
No.
Well, Buzz, I don't
understand. See, I...
I gave you that
extra hour because,
you know, I'm a
guy, and you're a guy.
And a guy knows how
guys are. How guys are.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what happened?
Well... we left the dance early.
So I said to Deanna,
"Well, let's get in
the car and, uh..."
Uh, "go"... Go park?
No. "Go for a hamburger." Oh.
Well, anyway, when
we got in the car,
all she wanted to
do was, uh... Um...
Make out? [SIGHS]
No, talk to me.
Talk?
Yeah, she said
that I was a real...
[SIGHS]
Well, "stud"? Is...
Is that the word?
No, I think "jerk" was
the word she used.
How could she call you a jerk?
Well, she said they're
the only kind of people
who wear clip-on ties.
[GROANS]
Anyway, she went
back into the dance
with some football player.
Oh. Gee, Buzz, I'm sorry. I...
Well, did she end up going up
to park at Raypoint with him?
I doubt it, Dad.
I took their spark plugs.
[LAUGHS]
That's my boy. [DOOR CLOSES]
That's my girl.
Well. Heh.
Hello.
You're on time.
Did you have a nice time, honey?
No.
Why not?
Because Barbara Raybeen
asked me why I was
leaving the party so early.
And I told her it was
because of my father
and his stupid curfew.
And I'm never
talking to you again,
ever, ever, ever!
I'm hungry.
There's still some
pudding in there.
I put a cherry in
each one of 'em,
just the way you like it.
You know, you really ought
to be ashamed of yourself,
the way you talked
to your father tonight.
Stomped out of this house.
Made him such a nervous wreck
he couldn't even play Go Fish.
You know, he asked me
for twos, I gave him a two,
he didn't have no
twos in his hand.
Just isn't like your daddy.
He's usually a wiz at Go Fish.
Hey, what about me?
If I'd have talked to my
daddy the way you did tonight,
he'd knock me clean
across the room.
And I had to be in
a whole lot earlier
than you do, that's for sure.
And your brothers.
When did they come in?
Well, they got
to stay out later.
But they were men.
Oh, men.
They think they own the world.
It's not fair.
Well, who said life was fair?
It's a man's world
out there, toots.
I don't care what
that Donahue says.
And do you think that's right?
I mean, I'm older than Buzz,
but he got a whole extra
hour just because of his sex.
Well, now, how did sex
get into this conversation?
Well, didn't you ever get mad
because you couldn't do
something because of your sex?
Well, yes, I guess I did.
But what can you do?
Well, you can do something.
You can do anything you want.
Who says that men
should have all the fun?
Well, if you don't stop
talking about fun like that,
I'm gonna see that
your daddy grounds you.
I didn't mean sex, Grandma.
There's that word again.
Oh, Grandma, grow up.
Now, I'm gonna tell
you something, little girl.
Sex can get a girl
into all kinds of trouble.
I found that out
myself the hard way.
Come on, Grandma.
We're not just
talking about sex.
It's everything.
We're talking
equal opportunities.
We're talking equal pay.
We're talking equal rights.
We're talking equal curfews!
We're talking about all that?
Oh, you just don't understand.
Well, now, Sonja,
just wait a minute.
I do... I do too.
I understand that right now
there's a whole lot
that I don't understand.
I don't know why I
followed all those rules
if they're gonna fall apart now.
You're catching on, Grandma.
Catching on? I don't know
what the hell I'm talking about.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I guess you got a point in
there somewhere though.
Thanks, Grandma.
And I'm real proud of you
for obeying your daddy
and being home on time.
Only because my dumb
date had a midnight curfew.
What a total airhead.
You should go on in there
and tell your daddy the truth.
After what he
did to me? I can't.
Please, promise me you
won't tell him, Grandma?
All right, sweetie.
Whatever you want.
Oh, thanks.
I guess us women's
libbers gotta stick together.
Sweet dreams, darling.
I'm not talking to you.
Just as long as
you listen to me.
I'm gonna run away from home!
As long as you're
home by midnight.
Oh, grow up, Vinton.
Anything she can
do after midnight,
she can do before
if she wants to.
Well, now, what's that
supposed to mean?
If you wanna know what she's
doing every minute of the day,
you have to hire
a private detective.
What's everybody talking about?
We are talking about
equal opportunity.
We are talking about equal pay.
We're talking
about equal rights.
This is the 1980s, Vinton,
and that girl should have the
same curfew as her brother.
Right on, Miss Harper.
When did you...?
You two act like I
haven't handled this right.
Like I'm being unfair.
Like I'm not a good father.
Like I haven't got any sense.
If you're looking for
an argument, Vinton,
you better change the subject.
Good night. VINT &
NAOMI: Good night.
MAMA: Your curfew
is up on my sofa too.
So whatever you're
doing down there,
take it to the basement.
[♪♪♪]
And so then just two days after
she'd spent 600
bucks in medical tests
giving her a
clean bill of health,
poor thing, her heart gives out,
and she drops dead in the
middle of making potato salad.
Oh, Mama, please,
not while we're eating.
Hm. Well, you asked
me how my day was.
How was your day, lover?
Oh.
Locksmiths never have
good days. Was terrible.
That crazy Mrs. Zanetis
over on Felbar Street
got locked out of her
house stark naked.
[CHUCKLES]
It took me an hour and a
half to get through the crowd.
I'm finished. Can I be excused?
Well, now, just a minute.
Don't you want dessert?
It's my special rhubarb pudding.
Oh, no, thanks.
I thought you loved
my rhubarb pudding.
I have to get ready for
the homecoming dance.
Well, just what is this
homecoming, anyway?
Randy's picking me
up in a half an hour.
We're doubling. I gotta go.
Yeah, me too. Like,
I don't even know
what color my eyelids
are gonna be yet.
Uh... By the way, I want
you both home by midnight.
Midnight? I'm sure.
Dad, why do we
have to have a curfew?
Yeah. And why do I have
the same curfew as he has?
I'm older than he is.
Because you're a girl.
Vinton, what kind
of reason is that?
Wait a minute.
You mean, if I was a boy,
I'd have a later curfew?
It doesn't matter,
because you're not a boy.
You could all be eating your
pudding while you're talking.
Look, suppose 17 years ago,
the nurse brought
you a little baby.
And instead of saying,
"Look, it's a little baby
girl named Sonja,"
she says, "Look, you've got a
little baby boy named Arthur."
How'd you get the
name Sonja, anyway?
After her Aunt Sonja.
She was a schoolteacher
for 35 years,
and then suddenly one
day she went berserk
and set fire to the gym.
So, Daddy, now I'm Arthur,
going to the dance tonight,
and Buzz gets a 12:00 curfew.
What curfew do I get?
Well, if you were Arthur,
you could stay
out later, of course.
Well, now, I say Arthur's
too young to stay out that late.
They should both be in by 12.
Oh, Ms. Harper, you have to
give later curfews to the older kids.
Well, if you kept doing that,
by the time they were 21,
they wouldn't be coming
home till breakfast.
Well, I can't believe this.
Nancy Ortell is a girl,
and her parents
let her stay out till 1.
Well, them Ortells
are half nuts.
You never do see him
out of Bermuda shorts,
and I swear I don't
think she owns a dress.
Dad. All the guys are
gonna think I'm a sissy.
Well, when's their curfews?
They don't have any.
Can't you relax
it just this once?
It's a special night.
The curfew is midnight,
and the subject is closed.
Then why bother to go?
By that time we get there,
we're just gonna have to turn
around and come home again.
Maybe that's why
they call it homecoming.
Kids. Nothing but grief.
It never gets better.
[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
Well. Heh.
I bet you're all excited about
it being homecoming and all.
I guess.
[GROANS]
You know, uh...
Want to borrow
one of my clip-ons?
No, thanks.
So who's the lucky girl?
Deanna Parker.
Yeah. I bet she's
a real fox, huh?
Well, she's okay.
Just okay?
Then why'd you ask her out?
Well, I like her. I
can talk with her.
Well, that's good. If
that's what you like.
[GROANS, SIGHS]
You sure you don't
want that clip-on?
No, I'll get it. I'll get it.
Uh... Buzz, look, uh...
I couldn't tell you this
in front of your sister,
but, uh, you
can stay out till 1.
How come? Well, look,
see, I'm... I'm a guy,
and you're a guy.
And a guy knows that sometimes
a guy needs a little more time,
you know, to, uh,
do, you know...
guy stuff.
Well, I guess I could
always use a little more time.
I am a guy. Yeah.
Buzz, you know,
when I was in, uh,
high school, my...
My dad didn't
understand anything
about what my
life was like, and I...
I just want you to
know that I understand.
Great. Is that it?
No, no, no, no. I mean,
I... I really understand.
I mean, a while
ago when you said
that the guys would
call you a sissy.
Well, it all come back to me. I
had the exact same problem.
See, the guys used to laugh
at me because I had a curfew.
Well, what time was your curfew?
Nine o'clock.
[LAUGHING]
Well, 9:00 was a
different time then.
Anyway, the point is,
you can stay out till 1.
Oh, gee, thanks, Dad.
What about Sonja?
Sonja still has to
be in at midnight.
It doesn't matter if the
guys call her a sissy.
[CHUCKLES]
So don't say
anything to her, huh?
Oh, don't worry.
Uh... Buzz, you, uh... [SNIFFS]
You got any questions?
[SIGHS]
Yeah, how come they
call it a tie when you can't?
No, I mean, uh, you
know, about, uh, girls.
You... You got any
questions about that? No.
Well, sure you do. I do?
Well, Buzz, now look,
y-you might find
this hard to believe,
but, uh... at one
time, I was a...
A young man like myself?
Right. Right.
And I was considered
quite the, uh...
[CHUCKLES]
Stud?
No.
Well, let's just... Let's
just say lady's man.
And, uh, I know
that a young boy...
Well... A young man your age
has, uh... [SWALLOWS HARD]
certain, uh...
Uh... Things happening
inside his body?
Yeah.
That create certain
desires and needs.
Something coursing
through his veins...
Yeah, all right, all right.
That's, uh... That's
what I meant.
And I... I know that,
uh, after the dance,
you're gonna probably
wanna get in the car,
and, uh, you know, uh...
Go park up at Raypoint?
Huh...
Let... Let me help you
with that. Oh. Yeah.
And... But, Buzz, uh...
a young man and a young woman
can sometimes get, uh...
Uh... Carried away?
Carried away.
And, uh, you really got to...
Dad, didn't we cover all this
the night that Topaz
had her puppies?
Well, yeah, I guess we did,
but, you know, I like
to have this little talk
from time to time, because
otherwise, you know...
I know. How am I
gonna learn anything.
[CHUCKLES]
Well... glad we
had this little chat.
Yeah.
Have a good time tonight. Okay.
You, uh, got any more questions?
Can I borrow that clip-on tie?
Oh.
[CHUCKLES] Yes.
Can somebody
help me zip this up?
Oh, sure, honey. I will.
Come over here, turn around.
[ZIPS]
There. Let me look at you.
[GASPS]
Sonja, don't you look pretty.
Doesn't she look
pretty, Ms. Harper?
Well, as much as you
can tell with her shoulders
slumped over and that
expression on her face,
yeah, she looks pretty.
So are you excited
about tonight?
I've been out before, Naomi.
Sonja, did your mama
ever talk to you about boys?
Well, she told me never
to marry a locksmith.
I see.
Well, see, dealing with
boys can be very tricky.
Now, if you're too cold,
then they go away from you.
But if you're too hot,
then you get a bad reputation.
Well, what if I just
stay lukewarm?
I got some better advice.
If he lays a hand
on you, scream.
If he tries it again, tear
his arm off at the elbow.
Well, isn't this a sight? Hee.
My three favorite
women in the whole world.
Whoo! Isn't my daughter pretty?
She sure is.
So who's the lucky boy?
Michael Skinner.
Skinner, Skinner. We
know any Skinners?
Is he good-looking
like your daddy?
Aw. I don't know.
There's a foot doctor
down at the mall, Skinner.
Or is that Brenner?
Is he on a team? I don't know.
How did you two
meet? I don't know.
Are they new in
the neighborhood?
Where are they
from? I don't know.
Huh. Is he an honor
student? I don't know!
Then why are you
going out with him?
Well, he asked me.
Well, would you jump off
a cliff if he asked you to?
Yeah. No. I mean, I don't know.
Then why'd you say yes to him?
He's a senior. And
he's got a nice car.
And he invited me to this
party that Barbara Raybeen said
I'd never be invited
to in a million years.
Not that I can stay long.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get it.
Ooh, that must be Sonja's date.
Hi, Michael. Hi, Sonja.
Well, I'm all ready.
Let's go.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a second there.
Wait a second.
[CHUCKLES]
Aren't you...? Aren't
you gonna invite him in?
Oh.
Come on in.
VINT: Well...
Hi there, Michael.
I'm Mr. Harper. This
is my wife, Mrs. Harper.
And this is Sonja's grandmother,
M-Mrs. Harper.
Now, sit down here,
Michael. Sit down. Heh.
Make yourself comfortable.
We'll have us
a nice little chat.
Your father isn't a
foot doctor, is he?
No. W... I think he's a lawyer.
So how did you and Sonja meet?
Well... S... I don't know.
Have you known each other long?
I don't know.
Well, I can sure see
how the two of you
hit it off so well.
[CAR HORN HONKS OUTSIDE]
That's Randy. Oh,
Dad, where's my tie?
Oh, right here. Here.
Let me clip this on for you.
Now... have a real
good time tonight, huh?
Remember everything
I told you. Right.
Yeah. Bye.
Bye. Don't forget.
No later than 1.
Huh.
Michael, uh, you wanna wait
out in the car for a minute?
I don't know.
You do. Oh, sure.
Well, it was-s-s nice
meeting all of you.
Bye, Michael.
MAMA: Yes, Michael.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
You traitor!
Did you just tell Buzz
he could stay out till 1?
Well, yes, honeybunch,
but you see...
Vinton, you are a traitor.
Boy, thanks a lot, Dad.
You're really the
lowest, you know that?
Don't you talk to me like that.
Hush, Vinton. Don't
you see how hurt she is?
Oh, she'll get
over it. She's a kid.
She's a person.
She's my daughter,
and she'll do what
I say. Oh, stop it!
I'm never gonna
forgive you for this.
I gotta get out of here.
See you at midnight.
In your dreams.
Now, hold on there. Hold on.
Hold on there, little girl.
I may be leaving
this house a little girl,
but I'm coming
back here a woman.
Don't you dare come
back here a woman!
[CLOCK TICKING]
Nines?
Oh, honey. Hm?
Nines. Oh. No.
Shoot.
Nine minutes to 12.
Mama, are you...?
Mama?
Are you sure
that's the right time?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Mama, why don't
you go on to bed?
[YAWNING]
I ain't tired.
Oh, this is silly. Heh.
I don't even know why
we're staying up so late.
Because we want
to see when, and if,
Sonja comes home, that's why.
She'll be home on time.
Naomi, are you positive
that clock is right?
Well, yes, honey.
Don't make me call the
phone company again.
Phone company?
What do they know?
Not much.
I lost a dime in a
pay phone last month.
They sent me a 10-cent refund
in an envelope with
a 20-cent stamp.
How in the world they're
still in business is beyond me.
If that girl ain't home
in the next 10 minutes...
Well, no offense, honey,
but when you gave
Buzz that extra hour,
I don't blame her
for being upset.
I am just trying to protect
my daughter's reputation.
Say, why is it that
girls ruin their reputation
when they fool
around and boys don't?
Boys should.
Most of 'em are so bad at it.
Are you saying that
you approve of Sonja
staying out till all
hours of the night
and doing whatever she pleases,
and getting into Lord
knows what kind of trouble
that can haunt her
for the rest of her life?
No. She just wanted to stay out
a little later to
have a little fun.
Yeah, well, kids today
don't wanna have a little fun.
They wanna have a lot of fun.
Jacks? Go fish.
Well, I'll tell you what.
When I was dating Carl,
I told him in no uncertain terms
he wasn't gonna
get no place with me
till I got the little gold
band on my finger.
Once I got that little
gold band on my finger,
then we started talking fun.
Otherwise, he never
would've married me.
Ms. Harper, you just
wanted to hook him.
It worked.
[DOOR UNLOCKING]
Well, here she is now.
I knew my little baby girl
would be home on time.
[VINT CHUCKLES]
Hi, sweetheart.
Hi, darling.
Young man, do you
know what time it is?
What are you doing
home so early? What...?
Uh, did you follow my advice?
Well, I tried. What happened?
Well, I'll tell you
later. I'm hungry.
There's still some
pudding in there.
I put a little cherry in
the center of each one,
just the way you like it.
Uh...
Your date probably had
to be home early, huh?
No.
Well, what time was her curfew?
She didn't have one.
Her parents trust her.
Really?
They must be Unitarians.
No.
Well, Buzz, I don't
understand. See, I...
I gave you that
extra hour because,
you know, I'm a
guy, and you're a guy.
And a guy knows how
guys are. How guys are.
Yeah, I know.
Well, what happened?
Well... we left the dance early.
So I said to Deanna,
"Well, let's get in
the car and, uh..."
Uh, "go"... Go park?
No. "Go for a hamburger." Oh.
Well, anyway, when
we got in the car,
all she wanted to
do was, uh... Um...
Make out? [SIGHS]
No, talk to me.
Talk?
Yeah, she said
that I was a real...
[SIGHS]
Well, "stud"? Is...
Is that the word?
No, I think "jerk" was
the word she used.
How could she call you a jerk?
Well, she said they're
the only kind of people
who wear clip-on ties.
[GROANS]
Anyway, she went
back into the dance
with some football player.
Oh. Gee, Buzz, I'm sorry. I...
Well, did she end up going up
to park at Raypoint with him?
I doubt it, Dad.
I took their spark plugs.
[LAUGHS]
That's my boy. [DOOR CLOSES]
That's my girl.
Well. Heh.
Hello.
You're on time.
Did you have a nice time, honey?
No.
Why not?
Because Barbara Raybeen
asked me why I was
leaving the party so early.
And I told her it was
because of my father
and his stupid curfew.
And I'm never
talking to you again,
ever, ever, ever!
I'm hungry.
There's still some
pudding in there.
I put a cherry in
each one of 'em,
just the way you like it.
You know, you really ought
to be ashamed of yourself,
the way you talked
to your father tonight.
Stomped out of this house.
Made him such a nervous wreck
he couldn't even play Go Fish.
You know, he asked me
for twos, I gave him a two,
he didn't have no
twos in his hand.
Just isn't like your daddy.
He's usually a wiz at Go Fish.
Hey, what about me?
If I'd have talked to my
daddy the way you did tonight,
he'd knock me clean
across the room.
And I had to be in
a whole lot earlier
than you do, that's for sure.
And your brothers.
When did they come in?
Well, they got
to stay out later.
But they were men.
Oh, men.
They think they own the world.
It's not fair.
Well, who said life was fair?
It's a man's world
out there, toots.
I don't care what
that Donahue says.
And do you think that's right?
I mean, I'm older than Buzz,
but he got a whole extra
hour just because of his sex.
Well, now, how did sex
get into this conversation?
Well, didn't you ever get mad
because you couldn't do
something because of your sex?
Well, yes, I guess I did.
But what can you do?
Well, you can do something.
You can do anything you want.
Who says that men
should have all the fun?
Well, if you don't stop
talking about fun like that,
I'm gonna see that
your daddy grounds you.
I didn't mean sex, Grandma.
There's that word again.
Oh, Grandma, grow up.
Now, I'm gonna tell
you something, little girl.
Sex can get a girl
into all kinds of trouble.
I found that out
myself the hard way.
Come on, Grandma.
We're not just
talking about sex.
It's everything.
We're talking
equal opportunities.
We're talking equal pay.
We're talking equal rights.
We're talking equal curfews!
We're talking about all that?
Oh, you just don't understand.
Well, now, Sonja,
just wait a minute.
I do... I do too.
I understand that right now
there's a whole lot
that I don't understand.
I don't know why I
followed all those rules
if they're gonna fall apart now.
You're catching on, Grandma.
Catching on? I don't know
what the hell I'm talking about.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
I guess you got a point in
there somewhere though.
Thanks, Grandma.
And I'm real proud of you
for obeying your daddy
and being home on time.
Only because my dumb
date had a midnight curfew.
What a total airhead.
You should go on in there
and tell your daddy the truth.
After what he
did to me? I can't.
Please, promise me you
won't tell him, Grandma?
All right, sweetie.
Whatever you want.
Oh, thanks.
I guess us women's
libbers gotta stick together.
Sweet dreams, darling.
I'm not talking to you.
Just as long as
you listen to me.
I'm gonna run away from home!
As long as you're
home by midnight.
Oh, grow up, Vinton.
Anything she can
do after midnight,
she can do before
if she wants to.
Well, now, what's that
supposed to mean?
If you wanna know what she's
doing every minute of the day,
you have to hire
a private detective.
What's everybody talking about?
We are talking about
equal opportunity.
We are talking about equal pay.
We're talking
about equal rights.
This is the 1980s, Vinton,
and that girl should have the
same curfew as her brother.
Right on, Miss Harper.
When did you...?
You two act like I
haven't handled this right.
Like I'm being unfair.
Like I'm not a good father.
Like I haven't got any sense.
If you're looking for
an argument, Vinton,
you better change the subject.
Good night. VINT &
NAOMI: Good night.
MAMA: Your curfew
is up on my sofa too.
So whatever you're
doing down there,
take it to the basement.
[♪♪♪]