Malibu Rescue (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Escape from Party Beach - full transcript
Move it! We've got an emergency!
Look out for that lady!
Hang on, we got this!
Pump the brakes, Granny!
This train's moving,
and we will run you over!
Sorry!
Tower Two en route to medical.
We got a female swimmer
suffering from a stingray puncture.
Ma'am, how would you rate your pain
on a scale
of "it's all good" to "take the leg,
take the leg"?
- She's going into shock.
- She could be having an allergic reaction.
Don't worry, I know what to do.
Ma'am, this is atropine.
I need to inject it through your sternum,
directly into your heart.
Let the real lifeguards take it from here.
- Aw, man.
- Do you guys realize what we just did?
Wasted 100 ccs
of perfectly good atropine?
No. We just saved that lady!
Man...
It's only our second day,
and we're already saving lives!
I'm so glad I didn't go to space camp.
This is what I thought
Malibu Junior Rescue would be.
Tower Two, my office, now!
What do you think he wants?
Probably to congratulate us
for making him look good.
If you think I'm here to congratulate you
on making me look good,
you're dead wrong.
Well, I'm lost.
Tell me what you see.
A profile for a dating website?
No. You didn't see that.
Here. Read this.
"What the heck is going on
with Junior Rescue this summer?"
Is Garvin Cross just letting anyone in?
This is not the Malibu experience
I'm used to.
"If this keeps up, I won't be back."
I have a review for that review. Rude!
- What do you have to say for yourselves?
- Sorry you got a bad review, dude.
This isn't about me. No.
I've been here 30 years,
never gotten a bad review.
You've been here just one day...
and now this.
You're blaming us?
Yes. You're making me look bad.
I knew when the mayor made me give
you Valley kids a tower
that I'd live to regret it.
And look at me now.
Regretting it.
You're bringing the whole program down.
You're just lucky no one...
knows that Tower Two is
the reason Junior Rescue got a bad review.
Everybody knows.
You just said it over the PA.
Oops.
Guess you're not that lucky.
I can't believe Garvin did us like that.
Don't worry. It's one bad review.
Nobody's gonna care.
I think they care.
Man, this sucks.
We were killing it this morning,
and now we're just the jokes
from the Valley again.
For once, it actually started to feel
like we were fitting in.
Not to change the subject,
but where does debt come from?
Was it always here?
- Welcome to Vooch's Bus Stop Cafe!
- You turned the bus into a restaurant?
Whoa. Did I not tell you guys?
You're looking at the chef-owner
of LA County's coolest mobile restaurant.
That's why the City Health Board
gave me this "C."
Um...
I don't think that's what that means.
So, who's up for burgers?
- Mmm...
- Five Vooch Burgers comin' up!
You know, I don't understand.
We've been killing it.
Why would someone give us a bad review?
This whole time, I thought Junior Rescue
was about saving lives.
Turns out it's about customer service.
That's the way Malibu is with everything.
People think they deserve a little extra.
They think we can't give it to 'em
just because we're from the Valley.
Well, then we're gonna have to work
twice as hard as the Malibu kids
to show them we're the nicest,
most helpful tower on the beach.
We can do that, right?
I do hate when people don't like me.
I say we try it.
Here you go.
It's made with my super-secret
Chunky Vooch Sauce.
It's only a secret
'cause I don't know what's in it.
I found it behind the Wendy's in Tarzana.
The Wendy's in Tarzana closed
five years ago.
Ugh.
Oh, gross!
You know, I've never had
expired mayonnaise before,
but it really worked on the burger.
Gross!
Hey.
So, about this whole nice thing...
Um... it's not exactly the first word
I would use to describe myself.
Come on, Gina. You're nice.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry.
For a second,
I thought I might be the reason
for that bad review.
Crazy, right?
Hey, buddy!
Read the sign.
This zone's for swimming only.
Oh, so that's how you wanna do this.
Ooh...
There.
Now you're a swimmer.
What?
I'm the reason for the bad review,
aren't I?
I wanna answer you,
but I'm afraid you'll break me in half.
If people in Malibu want a little extra,
that means we have to be extra extra.
Yeah. Let's go out there and give 'em
the best beach day ever.
- Thanks for taking one for the team.
- What?
Eric, what happened?
I don't know.
I bet it was the Vooch Burger.
I'll take care of him, you guys go.
Are you sure?
Oh, yeah. We're good.
- Okay, let's go.
- Come on, guys.
- Let's go make people happy.
- Feel better, Eric.
Okay...
- Why did you do that?
- You saw what I did to that surfer.
If I go out there,
I guarantee I won't be nice.
I don't know how.
And Eric,
you're the nicest person I know.
I need your help.
Wow. I'm so honored that you...
consider me your best friend.
That's not what I said.
You're right,
we shouldn't put labels on it.
Just teach me to be nice.
Teach me to be nice, what?
Now.
Oh, boy.
Don't worry, I'll get it.
Sorry! Excuse me!
I got it!
Hey, please, sir. Allow me.
Oh, yeah.
Here. I'll be right back.
You said you were gonna teach me
to be nice.
- What are we doing in the locker room?
- You want stronger legs, you train.
You want stronger arms, you train.
You wanna be nice, you train!
You built a maze in the lounge?
When did you do all this?
When you went to the bathroom.
It was only number one.
- I'm very fast.
- Well, so am I.
Okay, let's get started.
Oh, no. This man's walking on the beach
with a glass bottle.
Step one. Establish rapport.
"Nice day, isn't it, sir?"
Step two.
Inform the beachgoer of their violation.
"Hate to be that guy, but we got a strict
'No glass on the beach' rule."
Step three. Confiscate with kindness.
"Perhaps I can recycle that for you?"
And that's how you do it.
Yeah, if I'm talking
to pizza boxes, maybe.
But if I'm weak out on the beach,
people will walk all over me.
I'm not asking you to be weak.
I'm asking you to be nice.
And that takes more strength
than you think.
Are you strong enough to be nice?
Where do you get this stuff?
I follow The Rock on Twitter.
The man's like a jacked Buddha.
Now, let's do this.
So, how'd you guys do?
Uh, great.
A lot of real happy people out there.
Yeah, me too. How'd you do, Dylan?
Oh, so much happy.
Like, you just dyed your tips purple,
and then you ran into Ariana Grande
at froYo, and she was like,
"Hey, cool tips," happy.
We're gonna get a ton of good reviews now.
I know it.
Oh, no.
Everybody's leaving.
This is all my fault.
I almost drowned an old lady,
and I'm pretty sure I broke a guy's nose.
- I didn't make anybody happy.
- I didn't do any better.
I have a confession.
That Ariana Grande thing didn't happen
to me, it happened to my cousin Melanie.
- Also, I ruined a lot of people's day.
- We just made everything worse.
Garvin was right.
We're the weak link of Junior Rescue.
We're dragging the whole program down.
If he sees an empty beach,
he's gonna kick us out.
No, he's not.
I would. What's the point of having us
on Junior Rescue
if there's no one to rescue?
She's right, what's the point?
What's the point of any of it?
Guys, I have an idea.
You're not gonna like it,
but I'm gonna say it anyways.
If we wanna get people back to our beach
and make 'em happy,
- we should throw a party.
- That's great.
Dylan, just hear me out, okay?
People love parties.
If we throw a sick one,
then everyone'll have to admit
we're just as good as the Malibu kids.
We said we're in.
Can you just back off? Wait, you're in?
- Yeah.
- If we're gonna do this,
it's gonna have to be
the best beach party Malibu's ever seen.
We're gonna need supplies.
Don't worry, I got a guy.
Is it Vooch?
No.
Okay, it was Vooch,
but you kind of stepped
on my moment there.
Here it is.
Everything you'd ever need
to throw a party.
Where did you get all this stuff?
I confiscated it from kids on my bus.
A crossbow?
Oh, no. That's my mom's.
I keep it in the bus
'cause I don't trust her.
This party is gonna be epic.
This guy's playing music
at an unreasonable volume.
Do your thing.
Hey, dummy!
I mean, uh... Pardon me.
I'm afraid I have to ask you
to turn it down.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Hey, no pushing.
Dog off leash! Dog off leash!
Wow.
That is one handsome Pomeranian.
But you know what would make him look
even better? A leash.
You both enjoy the beach, all right?
Surfer in a swim zone.
What are you gonna do, Gina?
Um... sir, you're headed for a swim zone.
You probably missed the sign.
Oh, no. He saw the sign.
He put his gum right on it.
Son of a...
Oh, no.
Let me take you to a surf zone.
I think you'll find the break
is much better,
and you won't be endangering
any swimmers.
You did it!
You're ready!
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks, Eric. You're a good friend.
Would you say... best friend?
I don't know why you're pushing for this.
DJ booth is ready, drinks are chilling,
tiki torches are tiki...
ing.
It's working.
People are showing up. Party beach is on.
- Hey, that girl has a glass bottle!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is a Tower Two party,
and at a Tower Two party,
there's only one rule.
- No glass bottles?
- No. Have fun.
Yo, DJ, let's get this party started!
Uh-huh, okay.
Yeah. Let's, uh...
Let's see what, uh...
this one does.
Hey, you can't set those fireworks off
on the beach...
without a lighter.
Yo, this is gonna be great.
Man, we've been gone a long time.
I'm sure they have everything
under control.
Or not.
Who are these people?
Is this what parties are like?
'Cause if so,
I totally get why my mom
won't let me go to them.
How did this get so bad so fast?
This is my fault.
Clearly, I'm too good at throwing parties.
If Garvin sees all this,
he'll definitely kick us out.
You guys,
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Gina's back!
Eric's back, too, but I feel like this
is more of a Gina situation.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Remember your training,
remember your training.
Um...
Excuse me. I love the Roman candles.
Super festive, but also totally illegal.
So, maybe you could just put 'em out.
What is she doing?
I think she's being...
nice.
I know it's a little loud,
so you probably didn't hear me, but you
can't light fireworks on the beach.
Vooch!
You got to kill the music.
It's crazy out here.
Vooch!
Vooch!
Vooch!
Oh! Hey, Eric. What's up, man?
Whoa!
Where did this riot come from?
I don't know, but we got to stop it.
- Kill the music!
- Uh...
Ow!
What are you doing?
I don't know how this thing works!
Look, I'm not trying to ruin your fun,
but you really got to put those out.
That's it!
I don't wanna be the one
to mess things up
for our tower, but this is out of control!
Oh, no glass bottles!
Now get off my beach!
Yes! Go, Gina!
Oh, no!
Yes!
Yes!
I unplugged it.
It was the plug. lt was the plug.
Eric.
That was awesome.
But I thought you said it takes
true strength to be nice.
I did, but sometimes
you got to thump a dude.
Did The Rock tweet that?
No, that's all me.
Hey, loser.
Get that bike out of here... please?
I taught her that!
Well, the "please" part.
Guys, that was amazing!
We were gone for two hours.
What the heck happened?
Someone, I can't remember who,
it was all a blur,
- said we should throw a party.
- It was you.
- Was it?
- Yes!
What were we thinking?
Our beach looks like a disaster zone.
We had to do something.
We're the worst tower in Junior Rescue.
No, we aren't.
We saved that stingray lady this morning,
and Eric took down that biker.
We're good at this.
We should've never let Garvin
get into our head with that bad review.
Exactly.
We can't keep doubting ourselves.
She's right.
We were so worried about proving
we belonged in Malibu
that we stopped acting
like Junior Rescue and we...
Well, we all know what we did.
I say we make a pact right now.
No matter what, we're not gonna change
who we are for anyone.
Yeah. We should walk into Garvin's office
right now and tell him...
It doesn't matter what you
or anyone thinks.
We're not gonna change the way
we do our jobs.
We may be "Valley kids," but we're just
as good as any other tower on this beach.
Not today. Today was not one
of our better days, but normally
we are very good.
So you can take that stupid review and...
- Let me stop you right there.
- It's probably better if you do.
Apparently...
the bad review wasn't about you guys.
It was Keith in Tower Seven.
Oh...
That makes sense.
But you made everyone think
we were the reason for the bad review.
I did.
And I feel really bad about that.
You know I have my hand
on the button, don't you?
I do. It's the only reason
I'm being nice to you.
I still don't like you guys.
Now, get out of my office.
Keith!
Keith. We have to talk.
I'll take it.
Look out for that lady!
Hang on, we got this!
Pump the brakes, Granny!
This train's moving,
and we will run you over!
Sorry!
Tower Two en route to medical.
We got a female swimmer
suffering from a stingray puncture.
Ma'am, how would you rate your pain
on a scale
of "it's all good" to "take the leg,
take the leg"?
- She's going into shock.
- She could be having an allergic reaction.
Don't worry, I know what to do.
Ma'am, this is atropine.
I need to inject it through your sternum,
directly into your heart.
Let the real lifeguards take it from here.
- Aw, man.
- Do you guys realize what we just did?
Wasted 100 ccs
of perfectly good atropine?
No. We just saved that lady!
Man...
It's only our second day,
and we're already saving lives!
I'm so glad I didn't go to space camp.
This is what I thought
Malibu Junior Rescue would be.
Tower Two, my office, now!
What do you think he wants?
Probably to congratulate us
for making him look good.
If you think I'm here to congratulate you
on making me look good,
you're dead wrong.
Well, I'm lost.
Tell me what you see.
A profile for a dating website?
No. You didn't see that.
Here. Read this.
"What the heck is going on
with Junior Rescue this summer?"
Is Garvin Cross just letting anyone in?
This is not the Malibu experience
I'm used to.
"If this keeps up, I won't be back."
I have a review for that review. Rude!
- What do you have to say for yourselves?
- Sorry you got a bad review, dude.
This isn't about me. No.
I've been here 30 years,
never gotten a bad review.
You've been here just one day...
and now this.
You're blaming us?
Yes. You're making me look bad.
I knew when the mayor made me give
you Valley kids a tower
that I'd live to regret it.
And look at me now.
Regretting it.
You're bringing the whole program down.
You're just lucky no one...
knows that Tower Two is
the reason Junior Rescue got a bad review.
Everybody knows.
You just said it over the PA.
Oops.
Guess you're not that lucky.
I can't believe Garvin did us like that.
Don't worry. It's one bad review.
Nobody's gonna care.
I think they care.
Man, this sucks.
We were killing it this morning,
and now we're just the jokes
from the Valley again.
For once, it actually started to feel
like we were fitting in.
Not to change the subject,
but where does debt come from?
Was it always here?
- Welcome to Vooch's Bus Stop Cafe!
- You turned the bus into a restaurant?
Whoa. Did I not tell you guys?
You're looking at the chef-owner
of LA County's coolest mobile restaurant.
That's why the City Health Board
gave me this "C."
Um...
I don't think that's what that means.
So, who's up for burgers?
- Mmm...
- Five Vooch Burgers comin' up!
You know, I don't understand.
We've been killing it.
Why would someone give us a bad review?
This whole time, I thought Junior Rescue
was about saving lives.
Turns out it's about customer service.
That's the way Malibu is with everything.
People think they deserve a little extra.
They think we can't give it to 'em
just because we're from the Valley.
Well, then we're gonna have to work
twice as hard as the Malibu kids
to show them we're the nicest,
most helpful tower on the beach.
We can do that, right?
I do hate when people don't like me.
I say we try it.
Here you go.
It's made with my super-secret
Chunky Vooch Sauce.
It's only a secret
'cause I don't know what's in it.
I found it behind the Wendy's in Tarzana.
The Wendy's in Tarzana closed
five years ago.
Ugh.
Oh, gross!
You know, I've never had
expired mayonnaise before,
but it really worked on the burger.
Gross!
Hey.
So, about this whole nice thing...
Um... it's not exactly the first word
I would use to describe myself.
Come on, Gina. You're nice.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry.
For a second,
I thought I might be the reason
for that bad review.
Crazy, right?
Hey, buddy!
Read the sign.
This zone's for swimming only.
Oh, so that's how you wanna do this.
Ooh...
There.
Now you're a swimmer.
What?
I'm the reason for the bad review,
aren't I?
I wanna answer you,
but I'm afraid you'll break me in half.
If people in Malibu want a little extra,
that means we have to be extra extra.
Yeah. Let's go out there and give 'em
the best beach day ever.
- Thanks for taking one for the team.
- What?
Eric, what happened?
I don't know.
I bet it was the Vooch Burger.
I'll take care of him, you guys go.
Are you sure?
Oh, yeah. We're good.
- Okay, let's go.
- Come on, guys.
- Let's go make people happy.
- Feel better, Eric.
Okay...
- Why did you do that?
- You saw what I did to that surfer.
If I go out there,
I guarantee I won't be nice.
I don't know how.
And Eric,
you're the nicest person I know.
I need your help.
Wow. I'm so honored that you...
consider me your best friend.
That's not what I said.
You're right,
we shouldn't put labels on it.
Just teach me to be nice.
Teach me to be nice, what?
Now.
Oh, boy.
Don't worry, I'll get it.
Sorry! Excuse me!
I got it!
Hey, please, sir. Allow me.
Oh, yeah.
Here. I'll be right back.
You said you were gonna teach me
to be nice.
- What are we doing in the locker room?
- You want stronger legs, you train.
You want stronger arms, you train.
You wanna be nice, you train!
You built a maze in the lounge?
When did you do all this?
When you went to the bathroom.
It was only number one.
- I'm very fast.
- Well, so am I.
Okay, let's get started.
Oh, no. This man's walking on the beach
with a glass bottle.
Step one. Establish rapport.
"Nice day, isn't it, sir?"
Step two.
Inform the beachgoer of their violation.
"Hate to be that guy, but we got a strict
'No glass on the beach' rule."
Step three. Confiscate with kindness.
"Perhaps I can recycle that for you?"
And that's how you do it.
Yeah, if I'm talking
to pizza boxes, maybe.
But if I'm weak out on the beach,
people will walk all over me.
I'm not asking you to be weak.
I'm asking you to be nice.
And that takes more strength
than you think.
Are you strong enough to be nice?
Where do you get this stuff?
I follow The Rock on Twitter.
The man's like a jacked Buddha.
Now, let's do this.
So, how'd you guys do?
Uh, great.
A lot of real happy people out there.
Yeah, me too. How'd you do, Dylan?
Oh, so much happy.
Like, you just dyed your tips purple,
and then you ran into Ariana Grande
at froYo, and she was like,
"Hey, cool tips," happy.
We're gonna get a ton of good reviews now.
I know it.
Oh, no.
Everybody's leaving.
This is all my fault.
I almost drowned an old lady,
and I'm pretty sure I broke a guy's nose.
- I didn't make anybody happy.
- I didn't do any better.
I have a confession.
That Ariana Grande thing didn't happen
to me, it happened to my cousin Melanie.
- Also, I ruined a lot of people's day.
- We just made everything worse.
Garvin was right.
We're the weak link of Junior Rescue.
We're dragging the whole program down.
If he sees an empty beach,
he's gonna kick us out.
No, he's not.
I would. What's the point of having us
on Junior Rescue
if there's no one to rescue?
She's right, what's the point?
What's the point of any of it?
Guys, I have an idea.
You're not gonna like it,
but I'm gonna say it anyways.
If we wanna get people back to our beach
and make 'em happy,
- we should throw a party.
- That's great.
Dylan, just hear me out, okay?
People love parties.
If we throw a sick one,
then everyone'll have to admit
we're just as good as the Malibu kids.
We said we're in.
Can you just back off? Wait, you're in?
- Yeah.
- If we're gonna do this,
it's gonna have to be
the best beach party Malibu's ever seen.
We're gonna need supplies.
Don't worry, I got a guy.
Is it Vooch?
No.
Okay, it was Vooch,
but you kind of stepped
on my moment there.
Here it is.
Everything you'd ever need
to throw a party.
Where did you get all this stuff?
I confiscated it from kids on my bus.
A crossbow?
Oh, no. That's my mom's.
I keep it in the bus
'cause I don't trust her.
This party is gonna be epic.
This guy's playing music
at an unreasonable volume.
Do your thing.
Hey, dummy!
I mean, uh... Pardon me.
I'm afraid I have to ask you
to turn it down.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Hey, no pushing.
Dog off leash! Dog off leash!
Wow.
That is one handsome Pomeranian.
But you know what would make him look
even better? A leash.
You both enjoy the beach, all right?
Surfer in a swim zone.
What are you gonna do, Gina?
Um... sir, you're headed for a swim zone.
You probably missed the sign.
Oh, no. He saw the sign.
He put his gum right on it.
Son of a...
Oh, no.
Let me take you to a surf zone.
I think you'll find the break
is much better,
and you won't be endangering
any swimmers.
You did it!
You're ready!
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks, Eric. You're a good friend.
Would you say... best friend?
I don't know why you're pushing for this.
DJ booth is ready, drinks are chilling,
tiki torches are tiki...
ing.
It's working.
People are showing up. Party beach is on.
- Hey, that girl has a glass bottle!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is a Tower Two party,
and at a Tower Two party,
there's only one rule.
- No glass bottles?
- No. Have fun.
Yo, DJ, let's get this party started!
Uh-huh, okay.
Yeah. Let's, uh...
Let's see what, uh...
this one does.
Hey, you can't set those fireworks off
on the beach...
without a lighter.
Yo, this is gonna be great.
Man, we've been gone a long time.
I'm sure they have everything
under control.
Or not.
Who are these people?
Is this what parties are like?
'Cause if so,
I totally get why my mom
won't let me go to them.
How did this get so bad so fast?
This is my fault.
Clearly, I'm too good at throwing parties.
If Garvin sees all this,
he'll definitely kick us out.
You guys,
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Gina's back!
Eric's back, too, but I feel like this
is more of a Gina situation.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Remember your training,
remember your training.
Um...
Excuse me. I love the Roman candles.
Super festive, but also totally illegal.
So, maybe you could just put 'em out.
What is she doing?
I think she's being...
nice.
I know it's a little loud,
so you probably didn't hear me, but you
can't light fireworks on the beach.
Vooch!
You got to kill the music.
It's crazy out here.
Vooch!
Vooch!
Vooch!
Oh! Hey, Eric. What's up, man?
Whoa!
Where did this riot come from?
I don't know, but we got to stop it.
- Kill the music!
- Uh...
Ow!
What are you doing?
I don't know how this thing works!
Look, I'm not trying to ruin your fun,
but you really got to put those out.
That's it!
I don't wanna be the one
to mess things up
for our tower, but this is out of control!
Oh, no glass bottles!
Now get off my beach!
Yes! Go, Gina!
Oh, no!
Yes!
Yes!
I unplugged it.
It was the plug. lt was the plug.
Eric.
That was awesome.
But I thought you said it takes
true strength to be nice.
I did, but sometimes
you got to thump a dude.
Did The Rock tweet that?
No, that's all me.
Hey, loser.
Get that bike out of here... please?
I taught her that!
Well, the "please" part.
Guys, that was amazing!
We were gone for two hours.
What the heck happened?
Someone, I can't remember who,
it was all a blur,
- said we should throw a party.
- It was you.
- Was it?
- Yes!
What were we thinking?
Our beach looks like a disaster zone.
We had to do something.
We're the worst tower in Junior Rescue.
No, we aren't.
We saved that stingray lady this morning,
and Eric took down that biker.
We're good at this.
We should've never let Garvin
get into our head with that bad review.
Exactly.
We can't keep doubting ourselves.
She's right.
We were so worried about proving
we belonged in Malibu
that we stopped acting
like Junior Rescue and we...
Well, we all know what we did.
I say we make a pact right now.
No matter what, we're not gonna change
who we are for anyone.
Yeah. We should walk into Garvin's office
right now and tell him...
It doesn't matter what you
or anyone thinks.
We're not gonna change the way
we do our jobs.
We may be "Valley kids," but we're just
as good as any other tower on this beach.
Not today. Today was not one
of our better days, but normally
we are very good.
So you can take that stupid review and...
- Let me stop you right there.
- It's probably better if you do.
Apparently...
the bad review wasn't about you guys.
It was Keith in Tower Seven.
Oh...
That makes sense.
But you made everyone think
we were the reason for the bad review.
I did.
And I feel really bad about that.
You know I have my hand
on the button, don't you?
I do. It's the only reason
I'm being nice to you.
I still don't like you guys.
Now, get out of my office.
Keith!
Keith. We have to talk.
I'll take it.