Make Some Noise (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Jennifer Coolidge the Air Traffic Controller - full transcript
Impression masters Lisa Gilroy, Mary Elizabeth Kelly, and Frank Garcia-Hejl face off.
- [Sam] Tonight,
sleepwalking onto the stage
it's Lisa Gilroy.
- Help!
- [Sam] Someone who doesn't
know how to smile for a photo,
it's Mary Elizabeth Kelly.
(cheerful music)
And someone who thinks they're
a crew member of the show,
it's Frank Garcia-Hejl.
- Yeah, uh, can we just
fix this right here?
That'd be great.
You can bump this up about 10%.
Can we get a soft box over
in this direction right here
just to make sure that
the talent looks good?
- [Sam] They're all here to-
- [All] "Make Some Noise!"
(cheerful music)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host Sam Reich, and
here's how the show works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before,
isn't that right, players?
- I guess so.
- Unfortunately.
- Definitely true, yeah.
- I haven't seen anything.
- I haven't heard anything at all.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award the corresponding points,
and the winner will take
home the coveted Golden Ear.
- Ooh, ooh.
- Unfortunately we could not
afford the golden hearing aid.
(Mary laughing)
- Thank you Mary, that was
very generous. (laughs)
- Boo!
- Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Ready as I'll ever be.
- Ready to rumble!
- (claps) Let's do it.
- That's the sweetest I've ever
said that part in the spiel.
- Are you ready to rumble?
- [Sam] Are you ready to rumble?
- I think I can rumble.
- That's cute.
- This is a very special
impressions episode
of "Make Some Noise."
Three of my favorite impressionists
on God's green Earth.
Lisa, Ellen DeGeneres in "Jaws"
talking about how she got that scar.
- Well, so I do have a
scar here and well, well,
it's because um, well, I had
gone swimming with Portia.
And I said, "Portia,
Portia, there's a shark!
There's a shark, Portia!"
And now she thought I was joking with her
'cause I'm always trying
to fuck with Portia.
And well, the shark came up and
bit me right here in my face
and I said, "This face is for
fucking television, you scum!"
And the shark, well, the
shark got scared and well,
it swam away, but I was
left with this scar.
It didn't affect my dancing though.
- And I'll cut you off there, Lisa.
I'm having a little too much fun already.
- That's brilliant.
- 1.100 men went into the
water amount of points for you.
(Frank laughs)
"Jaws" fans will
understand that reference.
- Those Jaw-heads.
- Mary.
- Oh God.
- [Sam] Drew Barrymore
casually asking the ghosts
in her house to leave.
- Okay.
Oh my goodness, I'm so
sorry to bother you all.
There are what, four,
five, six of you in here?
You've made it super cozy, but
you're keeping me up at night
with your wailing and moaning.
I'm gonna have to say
toodle-skedaddles to you all
and happy trails, thank you so much.
- See, this is how you
perform an exorcism.
(players laughing)
Absolutely 666 points for Mary.
- Yeah!
- Frank, you and I have
known each other a long time.
- Yes, we have.
- [Sam] Seth Rogen hosting "Cosmos."
- (clears throat) So there's Jupiter.
That's some stuff. (laughs)
It's pretty great to watch
when you're high. (laughs)
All right, so over here we
have the Milky Way, I guess.
I don't know. Who wants
to blaze up? (laughs)
- I love that.
Seth Rogen's version of
"Cosmos" says zero information.
- I couldn't be bothered.
- Yeah, absolutely. An infinite
amount of points for you.
- Whoa.
- Which begs the question,
how could you compete with the infinite?
Lisa, I'm all the way back at you
Did you have enough of a break?
(Mary and Sam laughing)
- Yeah that went well.
- [Sam] Great, awesome, yeah.
Maybe Sarah Silverman was a bad choice
to hype up this cavalry.
- Um, if there's a person here who wants
to kill another person for
honor and glory. (giggles)
Then you should stab them
till they doody their pants. (giggles)
Charge!
(Sam and Mary laughing)
- (claps) Wow, Lisa.
"Stab them till they doody their pants"
is a way better "They'll take our lives
but they'll never take our freedom."
- A new classic.
- A charge amount of points for you.
Mary, so soon.
- I'm thrilled.
Oh God.
(Frank laughs)
- Emma Stone hazes new
pledges at a fraternity.
Note that I didn't say a sorority.
- Honestly, I feel like
Emma is more of a frat boy
than a sorority girl.
- That was kind of my take, too.
- [Mary] Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, okay you guys so like, (laughs)
wait, you guys are drinking so much beer.
I'm kind of like, nervous for you all.
Um, anyways, I made these rules,
but you have to like, strap
these things to your hands
it's called like Edward
Fortyhands or something.
It's absolutely crazy.
I'm really sorry you guys,
but um, I'm gonna have
to tar and feather you.
(cast laughing)
That's what they do in fraternities.
- So far everything we've done here today
is a version of the
universe that I prefer.
- Yeah.
- A Chad amount of points for you.
(Mary laughs)
Bringing us back to Frank.
- Mm-hmm.
- Nick Offerman directing all
the animals onto Noah's Ark.
- All right, we're gonna need
two animals to come this way
and make sure that they're all segmented
into their proper pens.
Now, I built this pen
myself out of mahogany.
Afterwards, once we
get all the animals on,
we're gonna have some scotch and bacon.
- Wow, Frank, yeah, absolute-
- Oh, I have a crush on Frank now.
(cast laughing)
(Sam clapping)
- Yeah, that's 150 days
and 150 nights worth of points for Frank.
Lisa...
(laughs) Every time,
every time I call on you
I want for that to happen.
- I'm excited.
- Anna Faris as Dorothy
in "The Wizard of Oz"
- Ooh!
(Mary laughing)
Wow, I'm trying to
see how these little people are dancing.
Ooh, a tornado, ooh, ah!
Oh no, the witch is dead.
Ooh!
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home!
Okay, we got a little bit
Miranda Sings at the end.
I went into Miranda's world.
There's no place like home.
- Yeah, let's say a Yellow Brick Road
amount of points for you.
- That's a lot.
- Mary.
- Yeah.
- Meryl Streep sells vacuums door to door.
- Oh, um, hello.
Well, I'm bringing these,
They're Hoovers, door to door.
Personally I, my house
is absolutely immaculate.
Well, mostly because I have a maid
pretty much 24/7 on my staff,
but I've taken to meeting
people in the neighborhood
by bringing my Hoover door to door.
Are you interested at all in-? No.
All right, do you have a
restroom I might be able to use?
I have to take a tinkle.
(Frank laughs)
- Mary, that is eerie.
It's like she's in the room.
- Wow.
- That will be three points
in annual installments of one point.
Frank, I'm also pretty proud
of this one, if I'm honest.
- Oh boy. You got that
little stinker look.
- Yeah, oh boy.
(Frank laughs)
Ooh, here it comes.
- Somebody needs a spanking
- Jimmy Kimmel the court
jester is definitely
going to be beheaded by
the king after this set.
- All right everyone, we just want to say,
you know, the king's
been a good sport, right?
He's been a really good sport here.
And I was talking to the
king, as you do, you know?
You talk to the king. Yeah,
everybody talks to the king.
(laughs) You know what I'm talking about?
Well, you know, I was talking to him
and he said something about the serfs.
He said he wanted to kill them all.
(chuckles) Sure, you do you, king.
- My God, Frank.
Yeah, if only we had had
late night editorial comedy
dating all the way back to the 1400s.
Wouldn't that be nice?
We'll say 1.300 points for you, Frank.
- Great.
- Lisa, last prompt.
Yeah, here it goes, here it goes! (laughs)
Lisa Simpson accuses you
of cheating at "Monopoly."
- If this was the behavior
of a man I would understand,
but for a woman to cheat
at the game of capitalism is despicable.
We should be joining together,
the shoe, the hat, the car,
to come together as a community
to strive for a better future!
- Oh my God, a socialist message
embedded in the impression!
Bravo, Lisa, two hotels on Park Place
amount of points for you.
- Wow.
- Mary, last prompt of round one.
- Okay.
- Jennifer Coolidge, the
air traffic controller.
- Um, hi.
Can you hear me?
(Sam laughing)
Okay, oh, what's your name? I'm Jennifer.
Oh, hi, George.
Okay, well, oh. It's a little cloudy.
I'm a little nervous
for you all coming in.
Oh, oh, that's so kind of you, George.
Oh, I'm a big fan of yours as well.
Oh, well, you've got a clear landing
if that's all right with you, George.
Good-bye, George.
(cast laughing)
- Apart from anything else,
I feel like that went really well for her.
- Yeah, she did it.
- Yeah.
- She made a connection with someone.
- It's not that hard of a job.
- Yeah, sure. (laughs)
747 points for you.
Frank.
- Yes.
- The last prompt of round one.
Don Draper pitching "Trix are for kids."
- Trix.
(Sam laughing)
Adults love it, but
honestly, it's for kids.
Just look at it.
It's colorful.
It's bright, it's fun.
Trix...
is for kids.
- (laughs) Frank!
A part of a complete breakfast
amount of points for you.
(cheerful music)
That brings us to the minigame.
Players, this is a minigame
we like to call Character Catchphrase.
In it, I am going to show you a variety
of animated characters that
do not exist in real life.
What I would like you to do is buzz in
and give me your catchphrase
for that character
in the voice of said character.
You are pitching me both
voice and catchphrase.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Character number one.
(cast laughing)
(buzzer blares)
Frank.
- Cock-a-duckle-doo, I did it!
- That's pretty darn
good, Frank. I like it.
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
- Oh holy mother ducker, I got the-
I got the green stuff!
(cast laughing)
- I like that we're just using duck
even though it's a chicken.
- We can all acknowledge
it's a bit of a twist
on what Frank did.
- [Frank] It is.
- I'd say it's a little similar.
- I think you improved on it.
- I had a little flair on that.
- You know what? We're not above
derivative work here, Lisa.
- I just really admired
and respected so much what Frank did.
- I hope you understand, Lisa,
I am gonna go with the original material
and award Frank this particular point.
- Mm, that's kinda fucked up, but okay.
- Next character.
- Honestly, if this was
smash or pass, I'd smash.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Lisa.
♪ I wanna sell a mushroom ♪
♪ I had a mushroom once
but now I'm moldy ♪
♪ So I got my screwdriver, too ♪
- I want you to repeat what
you just said as straight-
♪ I want a mushroom ♪
♪ And come on, dig on my ♪
♪ screwdriver too ♪
- And just to be clear, that's
this character's catchphrase.
- Yeah, because he's in a band.
- [Sam] Yes.
- So he's singing.
He does backup vocals and
when he goes out and he sings
and then girls are like, "Oh."
- [Sam] Absolutely. I totally get it.
- "I see now."
- Yeah, vivid.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Mary.
- Your car's all set.
(Sam and Frank laughing)
(Sam clapping)
- Oh, he's a mechanic.
- Going for brevity, Mary.
- Your car's all set.
(buzzer blares)
- Frank.
- Uh, this may sound cheesy, but...
you got screwed in the hole, man.
- (laughs) Well done Frank,
but I think this point
is gonna go to Mary.
- [Frank] Yeah.
(Mary cheers)
- Look at that dongly dick he's got.
- Yeah, he's got a dongy dick.
- [Frank] Yeah, he's got a-
- You might have three cheese
little dicks right there.
- That's honestly what
you could call our improv.
- Yeah.
(Frank laughs)
- Next character.
- [Mary] Cheesy peens.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Frank.
- Yes, I shall teach you knowledge.
- Oh, that's good.
- Yes, I shall teach you knowledge.
(buzzer blares)
Mary.
- I'm off to have some fun!
- (chuckles) I like the voice!
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
- Sarah, it's dad!
I'm coming to check if
you cleaned your room!
Gale and Brenda are coming over
and they might come upstairs
so I wanna make sure it's clean.
I'm not gonna ask twice!
- Again Lisa, I just wanna make sure-
- The longest catchphrases.
- I just wanna make sure,
this is his catchphrase?
- Yes.
(cast laughing)
- [Sam] You know-
- He says it simply
every episode and then-
- Every episode. Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna trust you and I'm
gonna give you that point.
- [Mary] Wow.
- Bravo, next one.
(laughs) They're excited.
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
(Lisa growls harshly)
Ooh.
(Lisa growls rhythmically)
- Jesus Christ.
- [Lisa] I should not
be allowed to do this.
- I feel like-
- I should not be allowed to do this.
- I feel like confirming
with you every time.
- Okay, sorry, sorry.
Yeah, he was about to say something.
(Lisa growls harshly)
Flip an ollie for the girls.
(cast laughing)
- Flip an ollie for the girls!
(buzzer blares)
Yes.
- This might be someone's
catchphrase already.
Cowabunga, dude!
(cast laughing)
- Might be?
- Yeah, right.
- Frank, anything?
- Who cares if I'm over
40, this is still rad!
- That's pretty good, Frank.
- That's really good.
- I think this one's gonna go
to Lisa, too. Sorry, folks.
- [Mary] Good Lord.
- I don't know what's come over me.
Something about this
surreal non-catchphrases
are really working for me.
- She's thinking outside the box.
- Next up.
- Oh.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Mary.
- Oh yes, I love to steal.
(cast laughing)
Yeah...
(buzzer blares)
- Yeah.
- Hey, I'm the embodiment
of capitalism, get it?
- Ooh, I kinda like that, Frank.
(buzzer blares)
(Lisa growls harshly)
- Flip an ollie for the girls.
(cast laughing)
(cheerful music)
- That brings us to round
two where our players
will now test their
talents in teams of two.
Lisa.
- Yes?
- [Sam] Mary.
- Yes?
- Two of the girls from Euphoria
selling you Girl Scout cookies.
- Hi.
- Hey.
(Sam chuckles)
Do you do coke?
- Or molly?
- Or cookies.
- We've got all three.
(Sam laughing)
Did you bring them?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
- It's gonna be 50 bucks.
- Actually, it's gonna be 100 bucks.
- Actually it's gonna be 150 bucks
if you're a fucking virgin.
- We can tell just by looking at you
you're a fucking virgin.
- My God.
We have sex with dads.
- Yeah.
- (laughs) Okay!
I will cut you off there. Wow!
I just binged all that
show in the last month,
and that is eerily accurate.
That'll be a suitcase full
of drugs for the two of you.
Mary and Frank, we are
back to impression-ville.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- This next one, Fred
Armisen and Kristen Wiig
are the newest additions to
the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
- [Mary] Okay.
- You know, it's pretty great, you know,
that we're saving the world, you know?
- It's pretty freaking awesome. (giggles)
- You know, you know, you
know, you know, you know, I, I,
I constantly think about
who we're saving, you know?
- Yeah, yeah, I get to
wear a cape. (laughs)
I get to wear a cape.
Ooh, I'm all nervous about wearing a cape,
jumping around and
helping people. (laughs)
- You know, sometimes I'm like,
you know, I tell people, "Stop."
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, that's what I do.
That's what I do. I tell people, "Stop."
- Is that your name? Are
you Stop Man? (laughs)
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, I'm Let's Keep
Going Girl. (laughs)
- My God, a match made in heaven!
(Frank laughing)
A $20 IMAX theater ticket worth of points
for the two of you.
Frank and Lisa.
A meet-cute where what they
ran into each other and dropped
is actually really important
and should be the focus
of their attention.
(Mary laughs)
- Oh, oh, oh my God!
- Oh.
- (chuckles awkwardly) Hi,
uh, sorry, sorry, yeah.
- Hi. (laughs) My gosh,
this went everywhere.
- I didn't mean to-
- No, it's okay.
I was just, I'm rushing
'cause my boss is like,
"What happened to JonBenet?"
- Oh my God.
- But it doesn't really
matter now that I know you.
- Oh, well, I mean,
this can wait, it's uh-
- What's your stuff?
- Oh, it's just a life-saving vaccine
for a new strain of a virus
that's highly contagious,
and I don't wanna bore you.
- No hey, it's 2019,
I wanna hear about it.
(cast laughing)
- Ah, what am I doing?
What are you doing, Frank?
- Yeah, what am I doing?
- What are you doing?
What are you doing? I
think I'm gonna do this.
I normally don't this.
- Yeah?
- But I can tell you more
about it over a drink.
- Hey, I would love if you would slam me
like JonBenet's brother
slammed her in the head
with a flashlight.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- So we're being direct?
- I will cut you off there!
(laughs) It's 2019.
- It was too dark, right?
- No, not at all.
- We're not there yet.
We're not there yet.
- Mine wasn't too dark.
- That's a Moderna amount
of points for the two of you
which brings us all the
way back to Lisa and Mary.
- Okay.
- A scene from the British Drama,
"This Airbnb sure has a
lot of cutting boards."
- Hello, Mrs. Kennedy. I've
brought you a morning tea.
- Oh, thank you, Brebette.
(cast laughing)
Oh, why, pray tell, is
it on a cutting board?
- Well I must say, madam,
when we moved in yesterday to the Airbnb,
all I could find everywhere
was cutting boards.
Cutting boards for plates,
cutting boards for tables,
cutting boards all around the place.
- I suppose that's why I had Brazelda
sleep on a cutting board last night.
- That's right, Mom.
You had me sleeping on a cutting board
and my ass is all bent
out of shape now, Mom.
- I'm sorry, Brazelda.
- Brazelda? I didn't know she'd be here.
- I'm always here.
I'm doing tricks on my
ollie for the girls.
- Ah, excuse me, ma'am.
I'm going to go outside.
And since you've not given
shoes to wear I suppose I'll-
- You shall wear...
- [Lisa And Mary] Cutting boards!
- Yes, I will cut you off there.
Mary, points for realism.
Lisa, points for, I don't
know, everything else. (laughs)
Mary and Frank.
George Lopez and Phoebe Waller-Bridge
are your odd couple new hosts
of "Good Morning America."
- Get up! Good morning America.
How are you doing?
- Good morning.
It's actually wonderful
to see you this morning.
Oh my God, George, good morning, George.
- Good morning to you.
How was your weekend?
- My weekend was actually wonderful.
Actually, I went out on a date with a guy.
Um, I'm a bit nervous about it.
I don't know if I'm
calling him back or what,
but I was gonna ask you,
George, what do you think
I should do about that?
- I'll tell you what you can't do.
(chuckles) You can't mess
around, that's for sure.
- No, absolutely not. Don't mess around-
- But see, Aunt Linda, she
used to hit me in the head
with a chancla, she fired away.
- Oh, that's absolutely painful. Oh no.
- Coming up, we've got Emilio Estevez.
- I'll cut you off there, the two of you.
The least likely celebrities
to put in a room together.
A network television contract
amount of points for the two of you.
Last prompt of round two.
- Was that an Owen Wilson?
- Wow.
- Wow, the last prompt of round two.
- [Mary] Great.
- Yes, go off, Sam.
- Frank and Lisa, these just get weirder.
- All right.
- Vince Vaughn and Zooey
Deschanel's chemistry read
for a marriage story.
- You know, I don't understand
what you want from me.
That, that, that, that's insane.
You know, what am I supposed to do?
You know, just be the father of the year
and the husband of the year?
What, what, what, what does that even do?
- All I'm asking for is
a little bit of loyalty.
- You don't think I give you loyalty?
- I just think if we infused our marriage
with the spirit of a puppy and a kitty,
then maybe you could take
back your venereal disease.
- Okay, now you're gonna
bring up my venereal disease
like it's "Fred Claus."
That, that, that's insane.
- Uh-oh, you're yelling.
- I'm not yelling. I'm just
a very passionate person.
That, that, that's it. I love you.
♪ I love you, too ♪
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there!
What do you think are the odds
that either of those
reads actually happened?
- I think Vince is underrated.
And that's my hot take.
- Yeah, yeah.
Expensive divorce amount of
points for the two of you.
(cheerful music)
That brings us to round three of our show
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
Lisa, Mary, Frank.
- Yeah.
- Things yelled from a
dugout by baseball players
who don't know anything about baseball.
- Hurry hard! Hurry hard
out there, my little boys!
- That's getting some sky.
(Sam laughing)
- Yeah, pick up those peanuts.
Pick up those Cracker Jacks, big boys.
- Whoop it up, slam dunkets!
And dump the funk, my little brothers!
- Slam the dirt!
- Eat a little pickled pie, pizza boys!
- Helmets to the sky, butts to the dirt.
Raising up our hands, flirt, flirt, flirt.
- I thought for sure every
last thing that Mary said
was gonna be boys, little boys.
- Boys!
- Boys!
- Swing, batter, batter amount of points
for the three of you.
Next up, Lisa, Mary, Frank.
A "Shark Tank" presentation
where the presenters
all have food poisoning
from their own product.
- Yeah, I'm Sarah.
- I'm Mab- I'm Mabel.
- I'm Ted.
(Sam laughing)
- And we're here to talk to you
about our amazing protein energy balls.
(Frank claps hands)
- The balls are made of
peanut butter goo and eggs.
- Let me just show you the chart.
- Oh, I'm gonna shit my pants.
- The balls are snacks
that make you feel good
and make your tummy get settled.
- Yeah.
- Hit the road Pe-
- Oh.
- Hit the road P-
- Oh.
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road...
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road-
- Pepto-Bismol. (groans)
- Pepto-Bismol.
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there.
That's a great catchphrase
if you can get it out.
10% for 100k amount of points.
The last two prompts of our show.
- No!
- Players, say it isn't so.
All three of you, three
aging camp counselors
trying to squeeze all of
the Gen Z slang they can
into their welcome back spiel.
- Hey campers, it's lit,
am I right? (laughs)
- That's right cap or
absolutely no baseball cap,
we are here to party.
- No cap whatsoever my homie friends.
- Right?
(Sam laughing)
- Yeah!
- All right, so if everyone
could freaking get over here,
we are gonna give you a little
bit of housekeeping rules
for the camp to get so litty
you'll splitty your kitty.
- First we just have a little bit
of a dab of information to tell you.
If you're going by the
water, don't be a slussy,
as they say on the Tok.
- Oh no...
(crew laughing)
- That's right, and remember
guys, as cool as it is,
we will not be doing any puff, puff, pass
or little joinkers on the property,
but you can doinky-dip it
and drop it and shit it.
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there
as I think we have run through maybe
all the actual slang we know
and gotten deep into
slang we're making up.
- Drop it and dip it.
- Incredible.
Yes, a lit amount of points
for all of you, no cap.
- It's lit.
- And last but certainly
not least, players,
let's see how this is gonna go.
- [Mary] Oh no.
- [Frank] Oh boy, oh boy.
- Three Gilbert Gottfrieds
at Gilbert Gottfried-Palooza.
- Welcome to Gilbert Gottfried-Palooza!
- We got a lot of bands here!
- You're gonna get your women
and you're gonna fuck 'em!
(cast laughing)
- I cannot see for the life of me,
but I can hear my fellow
Gilberts are by my side!
- What was this pandemic?
Now we get to gather in this
field and have some fun!
- Just grab somebody and fuck 'em!
- We're absolute freaks for fucking!
- Free love everywhere.
Now please welcome to the stage...
Matchbox Twenty.
(Sam laughing)
- Enjoy!
- All of your little insect hands
going up at the same time.
This Gilbert Gottfried is horny as fuck.
- Yeah!
- That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner this episode is...
Lisa Gilroy!
(Mary cheers)
- Good job, good job.
- It can't be true.
- Lisa, you are the recipient
of the coveted Golden Ear.
- Oh my God.
- Oopsie!
- That does it here for
us at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for
more of the Game Samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that
sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(warm instrumental music)
(audience clapping)
sleepwalking onto the stage
it's Lisa Gilroy.
- Help!
- [Sam] Someone who doesn't
know how to smile for a photo,
it's Mary Elizabeth Kelly.
(cheerful music)
And someone who thinks they're
a crew member of the show,
it's Frank Garcia-Hejl.
- Yeah, uh, can we just
fix this right here?
That'd be great.
You can bump this up about 10%.
Can we get a soft box over
in this direction right here
just to make sure that
the talent looks good?
- [Sam] They're all here to-
- [All] "Make Some Noise!"
(cheerful music)
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"
the game so good we spun it off unchanged.
I am your host Sam Reich, and
here's how the show works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before,
isn't that right, players?
- I guess so.
- Unfortunately.
- Definitely true, yeah.
- I haven't seen anything.
- I haven't heard anything at all.
- They will, to the best of their ability,
fulfill those prompts.
I will award the corresponding points,
and the winner will take
home the coveted Golden Ear.
- Ooh, ooh.
- Unfortunately we could not
afford the golden hearing aid.
(Mary laughing)
- Thank you Mary, that was
very generous. (laughs)
- Boo!
- Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Ready as I'll ever be.
- Ready to rumble!
- (claps) Let's do it.
- That's the sweetest I've ever
said that part in the spiel.
- Are you ready to rumble?
- [Sam] Are you ready to rumble?
- I think I can rumble.
- That's cute.
- This is a very special
impressions episode
of "Make Some Noise."
Three of my favorite impressionists
on God's green Earth.
Lisa, Ellen DeGeneres in "Jaws"
talking about how she got that scar.
- Well, so I do have a
scar here and well, well,
it's because um, well, I had
gone swimming with Portia.
And I said, "Portia,
Portia, there's a shark!
There's a shark, Portia!"
And now she thought I was joking with her
'cause I'm always trying
to fuck with Portia.
And well, the shark came up and
bit me right here in my face
and I said, "This face is for
fucking television, you scum!"
And the shark, well, the
shark got scared and well,
it swam away, but I was
left with this scar.
It didn't affect my dancing though.
- And I'll cut you off there, Lisa.
I'm having a little too much fun already.
- That's brilliant.
- 1.100 men went into the
water amount of points for you.
(Frank laughs)
"Jaws" fans will
understand that reference.
- Those Jaw-heads.
- Mary.
- Oh God.
- [Sam] Drew Barrymore
casually asking the ghosts
in her house to leave.
- Okay.
Oh my goodness, I'm so
sorry to bother you all.
There are what, four,
five, six of you in here?
You've made it super cozy, but
you're keeping me up at night
with your wailing and moaning.
I'm gonna have to say
toodle-skedaddles to you all
and happy trails, thank you so much.
- See, this is how you
perform an exorcism.
(players laughing)
Absolutely 666 points for Mary.
- Yeah!
- Frank, you and I have
known each other a long time.
- Yes, we have.
- [Sam] Seth Rogen hosting "Cosmos."
- (clears throat) So there's Jupiter.
That's some stuff. (laughs)
It's pretty great to watch
when you're high. (laughs)
All right, so over here we
have the Milky Way, I guess.
I don't know. Who wants
to blaze up? (laughs)
- I love that.
Seth Rogen's version of
"Cosmos" says zero information.
- I couldn't be bothered.
- Yeah, absolutely. An infinite
amount of points for you.
- Whoa.
- Which begs the question,
how could you compete with the infinite?
Lisa, I'm all the way back at you
Did you have enough of a break?
(Mary and Sam laughing)
- Yeah that went well.
- [Sam] Great, awesome, yeah.
Maybe Sarah Silverman was a bad choice
to hype up this cavalry.
- Um, if there's a person here who wants
to kill another person for
honor and glory. (giggles)
Then you should stab them
till they doody their pants. (giggles)
Charge!
(Sam and Mary laughing)
- (claps) Wow, Lisa.
"Stab them till they doody their pants"
is a way better "They'll take our lives
but they'll never take our freedom."
- A new classic.
- A charge amount of points for you.
Mary, so soon.
- I'm thrilled.
Oh God.
(Frank laughs)
- Emma Stone hazes new
pledges at a fraternity.
Note that I didn't say a sorority.
- Honestly, I feel like
Emma is more of a frat boy
than a sorority girl.
- That was kind of my take, too.
- [Mary] Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay, okay you guys so like, (laughs)
wait, you guys are drinking so much beer.
I'm kind of like, nervous for you all.
Um, anyways, I made these rules,
but you have to like, strap
these things to your hands
it's called like Edward
Fortyhands or something.
It's absolutely crazy.
I'm really sorry you guys,
but um, I'm gonna have
to tar and feather you.
(cast laughing)
That's what they do in fraternities.
- So far everything we've done here today
is a version of the
universe that I prefer.
- Yeah.
- A Chad amount of points for you.
(Mary laughs)
Bringing us back to Frank.
- Mm-hmm.
- Nick Offerman directing all
the animals onto Noah's Ark.
- All right, we're gonna need
two animals to come this way
and make sure that they're all segmented
into their proper pens.
Now, I built this pen
myself out of mahogany.
Afterwards, once we
get all the animals on,
we're gonna have some scotch and bacon.
- Wow, Frank, yeah, absolute-
- Oh, I have a crush on Frank now.
(cast laughing)
(Sam clapping)
- Yeah, that's 150 days
and 150 nights worth of points for Frank.
Lisa...
(laughs) Every time,
every time I call on you
I want for that to happen.
- I'm excited.
- Anna Faris as Dorothy
in "The Wizard of Oz"
- Ooh!
(Mary laughing)
Wow, I'm trying to
see how these little people are dancing.
Ooh, a tornado, ooh, ah!
Oh no, the witch is dead.
Ooh!
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home!
Okay, we got a little bit
Miranda Sings at the end.
I went into Miranda's world.
There's no place like home.
- Yeah, let's say a Yellow Brick Road
amount of points for you.
- That's a lot.
- Mary.
- Yeah.
- Meryl Streep sells vacuums door to door.
- Oh, um, hello.
Well, I'm bringing these,
They're Hoovers, door to door.
Personally I, my house
is absolutely immaculate.
Well, mostly because I have a maid
pretty much 24/7 on my staff,
but I've taken to meeting
people in the neighborhood
by bringing my Hoover door to door.
Are you interested at all in-? No.
All right, do you have a
restroom I might be able to use?
I have to take a tinkle.
(Frank laughs)
- Mary, that is eerie.
It's like she's in the room.
- Wow.
- That will be three points
in annual installments of one point.
Frank, I'm also pretty proud
of this one, if I'm honest.
- Oh boy. You got that
little stinker look.
- Yeah, oh boy.
(Frank laughs)
Ooh, here it comes.
- Somebody needs a spanking
- Jimmy Kimmel the court
jester is definitely
going to be beheaded by
the king after this set.
- All right everyone, we just want to say,
you know, the king's
been a good sport, right?
He's been a really good sport here.
And I was talking to the
king, as you do, you know?
You talk to the king. Yeah,
everybody talks to the king.
(laughs) You know what I'm talking about?
Well, you know, I was talking to him
and he said something about the serfs.
He said he wanted to kill them all.
(chuckles) Sure, you do you, king.
- My God, Frank.
Yeah, if only we had had
late night editorial comedy
dating all the way back to the 1400s.
Wouldn't that be nice?
We'll say 1.300 points for you, Frank.
- Great.
- Lisa, last prompt.
Yeah, here it goes, here it goes! (laughs)
Lisa Simpson accuses you
of cheating at "Monopoly."
- If this was the behavior
of a man I would understand,
but for a woman to cheat
at the game of capitalism is despicable.
We should be joining together,
the shoe, the hat, the car,
to come together as a community
to strive for a better future!
- Oh my God, a socialist message
embedded in the impression!
Bravo, Lisa, two hotels on Park Place
amount of points for you.
- Wow.
- Mary, last prompt of round one.
- Okay.
- Jennifer Coolidge, the
air traffic controller.
- Um, hi.
Can you hear me?
(Sam laughing)
Okay, oh, what's your name? I'm Jennifer.
Oh, hi, George.
Okay, well, oh. It's a little cloudy.
I'm a little nervous
for you all coming in.
Oh, oh, that's so kind of you, George.
Oh, I'm a big fan of yours as well.
Oh, well, you've got a clear landing
if that's all right with you, George.
Good-bye, George.
(cast laughing)
- Apart from anything else,
I feel like that went really well for her.
- Yeah, she did it.
- Yeah.
- She made a connection with someone.
- It's not that hard of a job.
- Yeah, sure. (laughs)
747 points for you.
Frank.
- Yes.
- The last prompt of round one.
Don Draper pitching "Trix are for kids."
- Trix.
(Sam laughing)
Adults love it, but
honestly, it's for kids.
Just look at it.
It's colorful.
It's bright, it's fun.
Trix...
is for kids.
- (laughs) Frank!
A part of a complete breakfast
amount of points for you.
(cheerful music)
That brings us to the minigame.
Players, this is a minigame
we like to call Character Catchphrase.
In it, I am going to show you a variety
of animated characters that
do not exist in real life.
What I would like you to do is buzz in
and give me your catchphrase
for that character
in the voice of said character.
You are pitching me both
voice and catchphrase.
Does that make sense?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
- Character number one.
(cast laughing)
(buzzer blares)
Frank.
- Cock-a-duckle-doo, I did it!
- That's pretty darn
good, Frank. I like it.
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
- Oh holy mother ducker, I got the-
I got the green stuff!
(cast laughing)
- I like that we're just using duck
even though it's a chicken.
- We can all acknowledge
it's a bit of a twist
on what Frank did.
- [Frank] It is.
- I'd say it's a little similar.
- I think you improved on it.
- I had a little flair on that.
- You know what? We're not above
derivative work here, Lisa.
- I just really admired
and respected so much what Frank did.
- I hope you understand, Lisa,
I am gonna go with the original material
and award Frank this particular point.
- Mm, that's kinda fucked up, but okay.
- Next character.
- Honestly, if this was
smash or pass, I'd smash.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Lisa.
♪ I wanna sell a mushroom ♪
♪ I had a mushroom once
but now I'm moldy ♪
♪ So I got my screwdriver, too ♪
- I want you to repeat what
you just said as straight-
♪ I want a mushroom ♪
♪ And come on, dig on my ♪
♪ screwdriver too ♪
- And just to be clear, that's
this character's catchphrase.
- Yeah, because he's in a band.
- [Sam] Yes.
- So he's singing.
He does backup vocals and
when he goes out and he sings
and then girls are like, "Oh."
- [Sam] Absolutely. I totally get it.
- "I see now."
- Yeah, vivid.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Mary.
- Your car's all set.
(Sam and Frank laughing)
(Sam clapping)
- Oh, he's a mechanic.
- Going for brevity, Mary.
- Your car's all set.
(buzzer blares)
- Frank.
- Uh, this may sound cheesy, but...
you got screwed in the hole, man.
- (laughs) Well done Frank,
but I think this point
is gonna go to Mary.
- [Frank] Yeah.
(Mary cheers)
- Look at that dongly dick he's got.
- Yeah, he's got a dongy dick.
- [Frank] Yeah, he's got a-
- You might have three cheese
little dicks right there.
- That's honestly what
you could call our improv.
- Yeah.
(Frank laughs)
- Next character.
- [Mary] Cheesy peens.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Frank.
- Yes, I shall teach you knowledge.
- Oh, that's good.
- Yes, I shall teach you knowledge.
(buzzer blares)
Mary.
- I'm off to have some fun!
- (chuckles) I like the voice!
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
- Sarah, it's dad!
I'm coming to check if
you cleaned your room!
Gale and Brenda are coming over
and they might come upstairs
so I wanna make sure it's clean.
I'm not gonna ask twice!
- Again Lisa, I just wanna make sure-
- The longest catchphrases.
- I just wanna make sure,
this is his catchphrase?
- Yes.
(cast laughing)
- [Sam] You know-
- He says it simply
every episode and then-
- Every episode. Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna trust you and I'm
gonna give you that point.
- [Mary] Wow.
- Bravo, next one.
(laughs) They're excited.
(buzzer blares)
Lisa.
(Lisa growls harshly)
Ooh.
(Lisa growls rhythmically)
- Jesus Christ.
- [Lisa] I should not
be allowed to do this.
- I feel like-
- I should not be allowed to do this.
- I feel like confirming
with you every time.
- Okay, sorry, sorry.
Yeah, he was about to say something.
(Lisa growls harshly)
Flip an ollie for the girls.
(cast laughing)
- Flip an ollie for the girls!
(buzzer blares)
Yes.
- This might be someone's
catchphrase already.
Cowabunga, dude!
(cast laughing)
- Might be?
- Yeah, right.
- Frank, anything?
- Who cares if I'm over
40, this is still rad!
- That's pretty good, Frank.
- That's really good.
- I think this one's gonna go
to Lisa, too. Sorry, folks.
- [Mary] Good Lord.
- I don't know what's come over me.
Something about this
surreal non-catchphrases
are really working for me.
- She's thinking outside the box.
- Next up.
- Oh.
(buzzer blares)
- [Sam] Mary.
- Oh yes, I love to steal.
(cast laughing)
Yeah...
(buzzer blares)
- Yeah.
- Hey, I'm the embodiment
of capitalism, get it?
- Ooh, I kinda like that, Frank.
(buzzer blares)
(Lisa growls harshly)
- Flip an ollie for the girls.
(cast laughing)
(cheerful music)
- That brings us to round
two where our players
will now test their
talents in teams of two.
Lisa.
- Yes?
- [Sam] Mary.
- Yes?
- Two of the girls from Euphoria
selling you Girl Scout cookies.
- Hi.
- Hey.
(Sam chuckles)
Do you do coke?
- Or molly?
- Or cookies.
- We've got all three.
(Sam laughing)
Did you bring them?
- Yeah.
- Cool.
- It's gonna be 50 bucks.
- Actually, it's gonna be 100 bucks.
- Actually it's gonna be 150 bucks
if you're a fucking virgin.
- We can tell just by looking at you
you're a fucking virgin.
- My God.
We have sex with dads.
- Yeah.
- (laughs) Okay!
I will cut you off there. Wow!
I just binged all that
show in the last month,
and that is eerily accurate.
That'll be a suitcase full
of drugs for the two of you.
Mary and Frank, we are
back to impression-ville.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- This next one, Fred
Armisen and Kristen Wiig
are the newest additions to
the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
- [Mary] Okay.
- You know, it's pretty great, you know,
that we're saving the world, you know?
- It's pretty freaking awesome. (giggles)
- You know, you know, you
know, you know, you know, I, I,
I constantly think about
who we're saving, you know?
- Yeah, yeah, I get to
wear a cape. (laughs)
I get to wear a cape.
Ooh, I'm all nervous about wearing a cape,
jumping around and
helping people. (laughs)
- You know, sometimes I'm like,
you know, I tell people, "Stop."
- Mm-hmm.
- You know, that's what I do.
That's what I do. I tell people, "Stop."
- Is that your name? Are
you Stop Man? (laughs)
- Uh, yeah.
- Well, I'm Let's Keep
Going Girl. (laughs)
- My God, a match made in heaven!
(Frank laughing)
A $20 IMAX theater ticket worth of points
for the two of you.
Frank and Lisa.
A meet-cute where what they
ran into each other and dropped
is actually really important
and should be the focus
of their attention.
(Mary laughs)
- Oh, oh, oh my God!
- Oh.
- (chuckles awkwardly) Hi,
uh, sorry, sorry, yeah.
- Hi. (laughs) My gosh,
this went everywhere.
- I didn't mean to-
- No, it's okay.
I was just, I'm rushing
'cause my boss is like,
"What happened to JonBenet?"
- Oh my God.
- But it doesn't really
matter now that I know you.
- Oh, well, I mean,
this can wait, it's uh-
- What's your stuff?
- Oh, it's just a life-saving vaccine
for a new strain of a virus
that's highly contagious,
and I don't wanna bore you.
- No hey, it's 2019,
I wanna hear about it.
(cast laughing)
- Ah, what am I doing?
What are you doing, Frank?
- Yeah, what am I doing?
- What are you doing?
What are you doing? I
think I'm gonna do this.
I normally don't this.
- Yeah?
- But I can tell you more
about it over a drink.
- Hey, I would love if you would slam me
like JonBenet's brother
slammed her in the head
with a flashlight.
(Sam and crew laughing)
- So we're being direct?
- I will cut you off there!
(laughs) It's 2019.
- It was too dark, right?
- No, not at all.
- We're not there yet.
We're not there yet.
- Mine wasn't too dark.
- That's a Moderna amount
of points for the two of you
which brings us all the
way back to Lisa and Mary.
- Okay.
- A scene from the British Drama,
"This Airbnb sure has a
lot of cutting boards."
- Hello, Mrs. Kennedy. I've
brought you a morning tea.
- Oh, thank you, Brebette.
(cast laughing)
Oh, why, pray tell, is
it on a cutting board?
- Well I must say, madam,
when we moved in yesterday to the Airbnb,
all I could find everywhere
was cutting boards.
Cutting boards for plates,
cutting boards for tables,
cutting boards all around the place.
- I suppose that's why I had Brazelda
sleep on a cutting board last night.
- That's right, Mom.
You had me sleeping on a cutting board
and my ass is all bent
out of shape now, Mom.
- I'm sorry, Brazelda.
- Brazelda? I didn't know she'd be here.
- I'm always here.
I'm doing tricks on my
ollie for the girls.
- Ah, excuse me, ma'am.
I'm going to go outside.
And since you've not given
shoes to wear I suppose I'll-
- You shall wear...
- [Lisa And Mary] Cutting boards!
- Yes, I will cut you off there.
Mary, points for realism.
Lisa, points for, I don't
know, everything else. (laughs)
Mary and Frank.
George Lopez and Phoebe Waller-Bridge
are your odd couple new hosts
of "Good Morning America."
- Get up! Good morning America.
How are you doing?
- Good morning.
It's actually wonderful
to see you this morning.
Oh my God, George, good morning, George.
- Good morning to you.
How was your weekend?
- My weekend was actually wonderful.
Actually, I went out on a date with a guy.
Um, I'm a bit nervous about it.
I don't know if I'm
calling him back or what,
but I was gonna ask you,
George, what do you think
I should do about that?
- I'll tell you what you can't do.
(chuckles) You can't mess
around, that's for sure.
- No, absolutely not. Don't mess around-
- But see, Aunt Linda, she
used to hit me in the head
with a chancla, she fired away.
- Oh, that's absolutely painful. Oh no.
- Coming up, we've got Emilio Estevez.
- I'll cut you off there, the two of you.
The least likely celebrities
to put in a room together.
A network television contract
amount of points for the two of you.
Last prompt of round two.
- Was that an Owen Wilson?
- Wow.
- Wow, the last prompt of round two.
- [Mary] Great.
- Yes, go off, Sam.
- Frank and Lisa, these just get weirder.
- All right.
- Vince Vaughn and Zooey
Deschanel's chemistry read
for a marriage story.
- You know, I don't understand
what you want from me.
That, that, that, that's insane.
You know, what am I supposed to do?
You know, just be the father of the year
and the husband of the year?
What, what, what, what does that even do?
- All I'm asking for is
a little bit of loyalty.
- You don't think I give you loyalty?
- I just think if we infused our marriage
with the spirit of a puppy and a kitty,
then maybe you could take
back your venereal disease.
- Okay, now you're gonna
bring up my venereal disease
like it's "Fred Claus."
That, that, that's insane.
- Uh-oh, you're yelling.
- I'm not yelling. I'm just
a very passionate person.
That, that, that's it. I love you.
♪ I love you, too ♪
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there!
What do you think are the odds
that either of those
reads actually happened?
- I think Vince is underrated.
And that's my hot take.
- Yeah, yeah.
Expensive divorce amount of
points for the two of you.
(cheerful music)
That brings us to round three of our show
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss together.
Lisa, Mary, Frank.
- Yeah.
- Things yelled from a
dugout by baseball players
who don't know anything about baseball.
- Hurry hard! Hurry hard
out there, my little boys!
- That's getting some sky.
(Sam laughing)
- Yeah, pick up those peanuts.
Pick up those Cracker Jacks, big boys.
- Whoop it up, slam dunkets!
And dump the funk, my little brothers!
- Slam the dirt!
- Eat a little pickled pie, pizza boys!
- Helmets to the sky, butts to the dirt.
Raising up our hands, flirt, flirt, flirt.
- I thought for sure every
last thing that Mary said
was gonna be boys, little boys.
- Boys!
- Boys!
- Swing, batter, batter amount of points
for the three of you.
Next up, Lisa, Mary, Frank.
A "Shark Tank" presentation
where the presenters
all have food poisoning
from their own product.
- Yeah, I'm Sarah.
- I'm Mab- I'm Mabel.
- I'm Ted.
(Sam laughing)
- And we're here to talk to you
about our amazing protein energy balls.
(Frank claps hands)
- The balls are made of
peanut butter goo and eggs.
- Let me just show you the chart.
- Oh, I'm gonna shit my pants.
- The balls are snacks
that make you feel good
and make your tummy get settled.
- Yeah.
- Hit the road Pe-
- Oh.
- Hit the road P-
- Oh.
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road...
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road-
- Hit the road-
- Pepto-Bismol. (groans)
- Pepto-Bismol.
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there.
That's a great catchphrase
if you can get it out.
10% for 100k amount of points.
The last two prompts of our show.
- No!
- Players, say it isn't so.
All three of you, three
aging camp counselors
trying to squeeze all of
the Gen Z slang they can
into their welcome back spiel.
- Hey campers, it's lit,
am I right? (laughs)
- That's right cap or
absolutely no baseball cap,
we are here to party.
- No cap whatsoever my homie friends.
- Right?
(Sam laughing)
- Yeah!
- All right, so if everyone
could freaking get over here,
we are gonna give you a little
bit of housekeeping rules
for the camp to get so litty
you'll splitty your kitty.
- First we just have a little bit
of a dab of information to tell you.
If you're going by the
water, don't be a slussy,
as they say on the Tok.
- Oh no...
(crew laughing)
- That's right, and remember
guys, as cool as it is,
we will not be doing any puff, puff, pass
or little joinkers on the property,
but you can doinky-dip it
and drop it and shit it.
- (laughs) I'll cut you off there
as I think we have run through maybe
all the actual slang we know
and gotten deep into
slang we're making up.
- Drop it and dip it.
- Incredible.
Yes, a lit amount of points
for all of you, no cap.
- It's lit.
- And last but certainly
not least, players,
let's see how this is gonna go.
- [Mary] Oh no.
- [Frank] Oh boy, oh boy.
- Three Gilbert Gottfrieds
at Gilbert Gottfried-Palooza.
- Welcome to Gilbert Gottfried-Palooza!
- We got a lot of bands here!
- You're gonna get your women
and you're gonna fuck 'em!
(cast laughing)
- I cannot see for the life of me,
but I can hear my fellow
Gilberts are by my side!
- What was this pandemic?
Now we get to gather in this
field and have some fun!
- Just grab somebody and fuck 'em!
- We're absolute freaks for fucking!
- Free love everywhere.
Now please welcome to the stage...
Matchbox Twenty.
(Sam laughing)
- Enjoy!
- All of your little insect hands
going up at the same time.
This Gilbert Gottfried is horny as fuck.
- Yeah!
- That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner this episode is...
Lisa Gilroy!
(Mary cheers)
- Good job, good job.
- It can't be true.
- Lisa, you are the recipient
of the coveted Golden Ear.
- Oh my God.
- Oopsie!
- That does it here for
us at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for
more of the Game Samer.
I'm Sam Reich, and that
sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(warm instrumental music)
(audience clapping)