Magnum, P.I. (1980–1988): Season 1, Episode 11 - The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club - full transcript

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I guess you're wondering
why I'm running

across the Hawaiian sand

instead of lying on it
with an umbrella drink.

Kind of wondering that
myself right now,

but, like my dad always said,

to reach a goal
involves sacrifice,

and my goal right now
is to complete an Ironman.

My father did a triathlon
when I was a kid,

and to him
it was an honest goal,

one he couldn't rely
on others to achieve.



The Kona Ironman
is in eight months,

and I plan on sacrificing
enough sweat

to at least start it.

Finishing, well,
that's another matter.

Higgins, what are you doing?

Training for the Ironman
on Kona this fall.

Since when are you training
for the Ironman?

Well, I heard you and
Kumu talking about it,

and I thought it
sounded like fun.

You know me, I always
like a challenge.

Your shoe's untied.

I'm not falling for that.

You're gonna fall,
but it won't be because of me.

Thomas Magnum.



Yeah, I can be there
in an hour. Okay.

I'm coming.

I'm coming.

You gave up. Never figured you
for a sore loser.

You just can't stop
gloating, can you?

I didn't give up.
I got a call from a client.

Yes, I know,
that's why I'm here.

There's a woman named Katya
for you at the front gate.

I got an alert as I was
coming off the beach.

But she's here early.
Why didn't you just call me?

I tried. Apparently,
you were busy,

washing off the stink of defeat.

Anyway, chop, chop, Magnum.

You don't want
to lose this one, too.

Come on.

Right this way.

Go ahead and have a seat.
Thank you.

So...

How can I help you,
Ms. Kudjakova?

Katya, please.

It's,
it's my older cousin Sergei.

We grew up in Russia together
before my parents

and I moved to Ukraine.
This is him.

No matter how far apart

we were, we always
kept in touch.

He moved here last month,

but despite the time difference,
we still talked

almost every day.

And then, last week,
I couldn't get a hold of him.

His phone is no longer
in service.

He's not answering his e-mails.

I got worried
something happened,

and I got on a plane.

Do you have reason to believe
something happened to him,

or is it more of a gut feeling?

Sergei was an online
journalist in Russia.

He wrote some articles that were
critical of the government.

Made some people angry.

He fled the country
before anybody

could harm him,

got as far away
as he possibly could.

He thought he could keep
a low profile here,

but now I'm afraid someone
might have tracked him down.

Did you contact the police?

I'm coming to you instead.

Normally, in these kind
of situations,

you file
a missing persons report.

Is there a reason

why you don't want to do that?

Um...

This has to be discreet.

Sergei and I still
have family in Russia,

and if anyone were
to find out that I'm here,

trying to help him, it could
jeopardize their safety.

Mr. Magnum,

I don't know this island,

and my cousin could be in danger

or even worse.

I have no one else
who could help me.

Please.

A missing journalist
critical of a government

that doesn't like criticism.

Katya's right to be worried.

We'll find him.

In the military,
the mindset of being the best

is drilled into your head
from day one.

You may leave the military,
but that never leaves you.

And as a private investigator,
all cases matter,

but most of the time you end up

peeking through bedroom windows.

Not exactly
life or death stakes.

Here, a man's life

could be in danger,
and whether he lives or dies

could depend on how quickly
I can find him.

The military also teaches you
a little something called

"situational awareness," being
aware of what's around you

and what might pose a threat.

For instance, those two guys
in the car back there,

who I'm pretty sure
have been following me.

Are they a threat? Maybe.

Thanks for coming.
It's always easier

to get a favor
when you know a guy.

Or in your case, when you
know a guy who knows a guy.

I don't get it, though.
The guy you're looking for...

He's trying to keep
a low profile.

Why frequent
the same restaurant?

One thing I know is,
even if you're in hiding,

you always want to find
a little bit of home.

Well, this would be the place.

Orel is the Russian restaurant
on the island.

We're talking old-school
authentic. Trust me.

You got to try the
beef khashlama here.

It's borderline erotic.

That's interesting.
I'm not hungry, though.

I am.

- Alexi...
- Rick.

Hey.

Hey, good to see you, too.
This is my buddy

Thomas I was telling you about.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, thank you
for helping us out.

We really appreciate it. Anything for a
friend of Rick.

This is the guy I'm looking for.
Yes, I know him.

He comes in several times
a week at least.

Always sits alone,
always pays cash,

and, um, he always
take food to go.

If he comes in again,

could you do me a favor,
give me a call?

Of course.

Thank you. Hey, thanks
for helping me out, man.

No problem. Listen,
I'm gonna stick around

and get some grinds.
You want to hang?

Nah, I'm still training.

Didn't you get enough running
when you were in uniform?

No, you know, it's,
it's all about pushing yourself.

Pushing or punishing?

Pushing.

Enjoy your meat.

All right.

You heard the man. Khashlamas,
and keep 'em coming.

Same guys.

Still not sure
if they're a threat,

but they're definitely
interested in me,

and because I'm working a case,

I'm thinking it could have
something to do with that.

Hey, guys, how's it going?

You okay? Yeah.

What'd you say to those guys?
"Hi."

Must've been the way
you said it.

Think these guys
are after Sergei, too?

Seems like a solid bet.

They must've gotten onto me
by following Katya.

Well, that was fun
while it lasted.

What are you doing?
Why, why? Seriously?

If I pull over,
we're gonna lose them.

If you don't pull over,
we're going to jail.

Maybe not.

What are they doing?

Get down.

Hands! Let me see your hands!

How come every time
I do you a favor,

it always ends up with me
getting guns pointed at my face?

I'm not gonna ask you again!

Katsumoto.

I was hoping they'd send you.

And I was hoping they'd hand
you over to Five-O.

The people above my pay grade

seem to think it's better
if you stayed my problem.

Hey, we make a hell of a team.

Why don't you tell me about
these guys you were chasing?

I'll tell you the same thing
I told the booking officers.

I have never seen
these guys in my life.

I don't know who they are.

They tried to run me over,

and before that,
they were following me.

And you didn't think to call HPD
before you went after them?

I'm more of a...
do-it-yourself kind of guy.

Were you on a job
when all this happened?

Yeah, it was a missing persons.

I'm looking
for a guy named Sergei.

He recently moved
over here from Russia.

His family hasn't heard
from him for a while.

Those two guys you chased,

you think they're
looking for him, too?

I think it's
a strong possibility.

All right.
Here's how this is gonna go.

Because I know you, and your
story matches what Rick told me,

I'm gonna let you out of here,

but there's something
I want to make clear.

I'm done bailing you
out of jams.

Whatever good will credit
you've built up with me,

you've spent it all.

Noted.

I also have one condition.

You see those two guys again,
you call me.

That's it.

I'll be sure to do that.
Scout's honor.

Boy Scout, right.

Get the hell out here.

Thank you, Katsumoto.

Somebody call for a ride
to the impound?

I swear, trouble follows you
like toilet paper on a shoe.

That's gross.

It's not my fault.
Two guys tried to run me over.

Personal responsibility.

Thomas, maybe you ought
to look inward

and see what you did
to provoke them.

You know, bro,
one of these days,

the van you're gonna be riding
in is gonna be one of those

blue ones with the grates
on the window.

You're talking
about prison transportation?

On account
of all that illegal stuff

you're always doing
for your clients.

He's right, TM,
you better watch it, man.

And by the way,

I didn't roll on you,

under Katsumoto's interrogation.

Really? Because he made it
sound like,

like you just folded.

All right, you know what?

Sure, I told him
what happened today,

but, I left out all the
other stuff you've done.

Wh-What other stuff?

Really, Thomas? Yeah.

Let's see...
tampering with evidence?

Breaking and entering.

Lying to the cops.

Using your buddies
as fake P.I.s.

Yeah.

Let's not forget that one.

Yeah, you know,
this stuff's gonna come back

to bite you, bud.

And I just pray

that I am not there
when it does.

You guys worry too much.

In you get.

Kumu, you're a saint.

The keikis
at the children's hospital

love these two.
The way their faces

light up, I get more

out of these weekly visits
than they do.

You should come sometime. I'd like that.

My God.

What have you done
to Mr. Masters' Ferrari?

Police impound lots
aren't necessarily known

for their cleanliness.

I...

What on earth, Magnum?

Really? A hose?
That's how you're gonna clean

a $350,000 automobile?

I'm gonna get going.

What are you gonna use
to dry it?

And what about the water marks?

I'll dry 'em off. Happy?

I am.

Thanks, Kumu.

Why was it even impounded
in the first place?

Well, apparently,
chasing two armed men

who try to run you over
is no excuse

for breaking
half a dozen traffic laws.

Someone tried to run you over?

Yeah, can you believe it?

I assume this has something
to do with your case?

Yeah. My client hired me
to find her cousin,

and it turns out I'm not
the only one looking for him.

You're like a magnet
for danger, Magnum.

Why is that?

Occupational hazard, I suppose.

Very well.

I'll leave you to it,
Magic Mike.

Hello.

Mr. Magnum, this is Alexi.

The man you're looking for,
Sergei, he's here.

He is? Yes, yes.

Positive. That's him.

Okay, stall him. I'm on my way.

Stall him.

Yeah, I can do that.

Katya, it's Thomas Magnum.

I found Sergei.
I'm going to get him now.

Meet us back at Robin's Nest
in an hour.

Sorry.

Your food should be
ready any minute now.

It's coming soon, I promise.

He just took off.

Where? This way. Down the alley.

TC, you up in the air?

Yeah, why?

I got a runner.

You mind dodging skyscrapers
to track him down?

You can't be serious.

Sorry, boys.

Little detour.

TC,

you see him yet?

All right, hang on.

I see a big guy
running down an alley

toward the canal.

Make a right at the end
of the street

and you'll find a grassy path
behind the building.

On it.

Your boy's headed south now.

Take your next right.

Copy.

Check your 12, Ironman,
you almost got him.

He just went into that building.

Thomas, he just ducked inside

an apartment complex
on the corner.

Coming up on your right.

Thanks.

This is so going on Instagram.

What?

Okay, you got a problem.

You got two men on your tail.

Both of 'em packing heat.

It's got to be the same guys
that tried to run me over.

I think they're after Sergei.
Well, I'd say,

after firing on HPD, they're
willing to go through anybody

who gets in their way.

I got news for you, homie,
you in the damn way.

You got 'em, TC? TC I did.

Just lost 'em behind some trees.

Another mistake people
on the run tend to make

is not getting creative enough
with their cover.

John Black.

Yeah, that's original.

Heads up, TM.
Bad guys are back on your six.

I know, I should call Katsumoto.

But right now there's no time.

I really hope I'm right
about Sergei being John Black.

Easy, easy.

My name is Thomas Magnum.

Your cousin Katya
hired me to find you.

I'm here to help. Okay, listen,

we get to get out of here.
There's two guys

who I'm pretty sure
want you dead.

I'm gonna take you to Katya,

but we have to leave now, okay?

Yeah. I just need
to get one thing.

- No, we don't have time!
- We got to...

TC.

Hey, these guys
are almost at the building.

You got to get out of there.

Okay.

Are you kidding me?

This is everything I took
from home. It's all I have left.

Whatever. Let's just go.

TC, what do you got?

You got two tangos coming up

on the Ewa side. Go now.

Okay. Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Move. Go.

Go, go.

We're good?

Yeah, you good, playboy.

But I'm running
on fumes up here.

I got to bug out.

Copy that. Thanks.

Yes, can I help you?

Yes, I'm here to see Mr. Magnum?

I was told to wait.

One moment, please.

Hey, Higgy, I meant to tell
you, my client is coming.

Could you let her into
the guesthouse, please?

Magnum, listen to me.

Turn around
and go straight to the police.

What? Why?

I ran your client
through an old MI6 database.

Her real name is Inna Khamatov.

She's ex-Russian FSB.

The real Katya Kudjakova

was killed in Finland
three days ago.

No, no, not Katya.

Sorry. Sorry, Sergei.

Magnum.

Yeah.

We're headed over to HPD now.

What about you?
Are you gonna be okay?

I'll call HPD and get some cars
sent to the house.

I'll stall Inna
until they get here.

Okay. Be careful.

Hello there.

Would you just give me a moment?

I have to call the police.

I didn't think so.

Back off.

Sweetheart, I got two dogs
that'll tear you apart

if you don't do what I say.

You deaf?

You and your cousin
were close, weren't you?

She was more like a sister.

Both of our parents
have passed away.

Neither of us
had siblings, so...

we were each other's
only family.

Higgins.

No. Not Higgins.

But don't worry.

Both her and your other
friend...

are okay.

For now.

All right.

What do you want?

Sergei.

Here. One hour.

Understood?

I understand.

Get out.

Sergei. I can't let
you take me to them.

Sergei, come on... No.

Let me come up with a plan.
No. Go on.

Out.

Back away.

Sergei, please.

They're gonna kill my friends.

I'm sorry.

But there is more
at stake than you know.

He was headed north. Let's go.

TC, any luck?

Not yet.

Working a grid,

factoring in
the direction he left,

average speed, all that,

still leaves
a big margin of error.

I get it, just keep at it.

We're gonna stay in the
direction Sergei was headed.

Just keep the line open.

Aye, aye, skipper.

TC's right.

Oahu seems like a small island

until you try to find
somebody on it.

Well, good news is,
a 488 Spider in rosso corsa...

That, my friend,
is hard to miss.

Even from a thousand feet up.
You know, people love

to tell me that that car is
a liability as a P.I.,

but I think that in this case,
it's kind of an asset.

Excuse me, I'm sorry
to bother you, um...

but I could really use
a trip to the loo.

I could use one, too.

Neither one of you
are going anywhere.

So, what's your story?

Are you MI6?

No, no I'm just the
majordomo of this estate.

And you learned advanced
fighting techniques

at your local tae kwon do dojo?

I took a self-defense class.

Sure you did.

Come on, tell me.

What does it matter, anyway?

One way or another,

we're never gonna
see each other again.

I told you.

I'm just the majordomo.

Now your turn.

Why do you want this man,
Sergei, so badly?

Thomas, I got him.

TC, I love you, man.

All right, stay close.
I got you on GPS.

You're about
two miles behind him.

We got company... again.

That's it,
you're gaining on him.

There he is.

Sergei just turned
onto Puuloa Road.

Roger that. Just stay on him.

Thomas, this road trip's
about to come to an end.

Pull your
vehicle to the side of the road.

Driver,
pull your vehicle over now.

I give it five more minutes
before they put out road spikes.

And, you know, these tires,
they are $800 a pop.

What are you gonna do?

Were you even listening at all?

I said call me
beforeyou got in trouble,

not when you're being
chased by HPD.

I know, I know.

I told you,
I'm done helping you.

Look, I know

you've gotten me
out of a couple of tight spots

and maybe looked the other way
a couple of times...

Hold up. "A couple"?

"Maybe"?

Okay, a lot and, and often.

But I'm, I'm asking you
one more time,

just please trust me.
Call them off.

You chasing those guys
who tried to run you over?

I'm, I'm chasing the guy
I was looking for.

Wait, let me get this straight.

This guy you're after,
you found him?

Only now he's running from you?

Look, it's a long story,
one I'd love to tell you

all about
once this thing is over,

but please trust me on this one.

Call HPD off.

Do you have any idea
what you're asking here?

I mean, any concept at all?

No, I-I do,
and, you know, honestly,

I hate myself for putting

one of my closest friends
in this position.

I'm sorry, close friend?
You serious?

You know full well
we're not even remotely friends.

So just stop.Okay.

Well, I guess I misunderstood
the relationship.

I'm hanging up now.
Good luck with HPD.

Katsumoto, no, wait.

Please, please. Look, I...

I'm sorry, all right,

for all the times
you've bailed me out,

and I-I don't think
I've ever said that.

And, well, thank you.

I don't think
I've ever said that, either.

Look, Katsumoto,
you're a good man.

You know?

Why do I get the feeling
you're playing me?

Look, I wouldn't trust me
either, but, please,

I'm gonna ask anyway.

Call 'em off.

They're backing off.

Are you kidding me?

They are?
They're really backing off?

Wow, okay.

Well, I guess it's time
to find Sergei.

Right on top of him, boys.

H-Hang on, you really don't
want to do that, pal.

Your turn, get out, give it.

Come on. Now, Sergei.

It's time to come clean,
and I mean everything.

There's no way somebody's gonna
go through all that trouble

on foreign soil for some
small-time journalist.

You're right.

It's not me they want.

Then what do they want?

All right.

I'll bite.

What's in the suitcase?

A SADM device.

A suitcase nuke?

A prototype, yes.

No, that's not possible.

The U.S. and Russia
have been trying to build

something like this
for years without success.

Until now.

All right.

Well, I don't know what
a suitcase nuke looks like,

but I bet it looks like that.

Well, obviously,
you're not a journalist.

So who are you?

I was a scientist.

In Russia's nuclear program.

For the past five years,

this device is all I worked on.

But I wanted out.

Only I couldn't leave
something like this behind.

So I took it with me
to keep it safe.

Safe? You've been hiding this
in your closet

ever since you got here.

I was working on a way
to properly dispose of it.

Why not give it
to the proper authorities?

So the wrong people
don't get their hands on it.

Because no one should have
something like this.

Katya understood that.

She helped me to smuggle it
out of the country.

And now she's dead
because of this.

I had a plan.

I wanted to take
this radioactive material

to Kaho'olawe.

A bomb testing site. It's uninhabited.

75% of the island
still has unexploded ordnance.

You were gonna bury it there.

Yes, after having dismantled it.

But to do that, it takes time
and the proper equipment.

It's complicated.

The bottom line is,
this device...

has an explosive yield

equivalent to 1,000 tons of TNT.

I understand your
friends are in danger,

but you cannot hand it over
in exchange for them.

Hey, do me a favor
Don't touch anything.

How much time do we have left?

Not enough time
to make a real plan.

I guess we're gonna
have to wing it.

Wing it? Yeah. Wing it.

I'm not comfortable using
the words "wing it"

when dealing
with a nuclear device.

We-we don't have a choice.

Make a plan.

All right. We're gonna wing it.

We're gonna wing it.

That's Magnum.

Where is Sergei?

I know what you guys are after.

Relax.

Hey-hey.

Easy.

Whoa! It's me. You guys okay?

Where are the other two?

Neutralized.

And the man they were after?

He's safe.

Besides, they weren't after him.

They were after
something he had.

What?

Mahalo, Thomas.

A SADM device. A SADM device?

What, do you mean to
say that you brought

a functioning nuclear weapon
onto Robin Masters' estate?

What was I supposed to do? I wasn't
gonna let 'em hurt you guys.

Besides, looks like
everything worked out.

What if it didn't?

Well, Rick's up in TC's chopper

with a sniper rifle, and HPD's
sitting right outside the gate.

Might want to call the dogs off
before you let 'em in.

You wanted to know

who I am?

I'm the woman you're going
to be thinking about

while you spend the rest
of your life in prison.

What were they gonna do
with that nuke, anyway?

Probably sell it to a terror
cell, would be my guess.

One thing I don't get.

What would you have done
if that little

"release the hounds" routine
didn't work out?

He makes a good point.
The dogs could have

just as easily gone after you.

I just needed a distraction.

You know, sure,
they don't like me,

but they're trained to
neutralize a threat.

Right?

I guess it could've
really gone bad, though.

Come along, lads.
Extra treats today.

Called in the pros to make sure

that suitcase gets
properly disposed of.

But let's say, from now on,

you stick to going after missing
cats instead of missing nukes.

I don't choose my clients.
They choose me.

Well, then, you should do
a better job screening them.

Agreed.

Hey, thanks for trusting me.

Don't get used to it.
Today was a one-off.

Yeah.

I'm winning him over.

I'm sorry.

Well, let's just hope
that your government

has the wisdom not to use it.

Yeah. You all right?

I'm not sure.

I always thought
one day I'd go home.

But Katya was my only family.

I really don't have
anything to return to.

I guess...

Hawaii's my new home.

You know, a really good friend
of mine told me

that the beef khashlama at Orel

is just insanely good.

Your friend is right.

I've never tried it before,
but, I don't know,

maybe we could get together
next week, grab some lunch.

I could give it a shot.

I'd like that.

Me, too.

Hi.

Chef said you wanted to see me?

Yes, thanks. Um,

I, I just wanted
to check you're okay.

I'm fine. Why?

Well, I suppose
because the first time

I went through an ordeal like
the one the other day, um...

Must be old hat to you by now.

Maybe, but I'll never forget
the first time

someone pulled a gun on me.

It was in Kiev.

My second assignment for MI6.

It was terrifying.

He had this,

cheap revolver pointed
right in my face.

I remember being able to see

directly down the barrel
of the gun.

What happened?

That's not important.

What is important is, um,

what happened after that,
once I got home.

You broke down?

Quite the opposite. I buried it.

So deep.

I tried to forget
that it had ever happened.

Which is the absolute
worst thing

I could have done, of course.

Just 'cause you bury something
doesn't mean it's gone.

Very true.

Anyway, my point is that if you
ever want to talk about it,

I'm here, any time.

That's very human of you.

I know I can, sometimes
come across rather cold.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean... No, no.

No, it's okay. It's okay.

God knows,
the accent doesn't help.

Truth is, it's been
an easy way for me

to keep people
at an arm's length.

But I'm trying to do that...
less.

I think people
can pretty much do anything,

with a little practice.

Me, too.

Anyway, I appreciate the offer.

Hopefully, I don't have
to take you up on it.

Me, too. Hopefully not.

Well, I have to get back. All right.

Enjoy your run.

Thanks.

Thank you, Juliet,
for everything.

You're welcome.

Turns out, my dad was right.

Reaching goals does
require sacrifice,

but so does doing something
for the greater good.

Sergei and his cousin
were ordinary people

who made
extraordinary sacrifices

in order to do the right thing.

And no one outside of a few
people will ever really know.

As sacrifices go, they don't
get more noble than that.

Rematch, Magnum?

Rematch? We've never
officially raced.

Yeah, that's right. You quit.

Here.

You ever think that, I don't
know, maybe racing is more about

pushing yourself and less
about beating somebody else?

No, I don't, and neither do you.

We both know that
the whole point

of competing is to try and win.

Intriguing prospect.

You want to make this run
a little more fun?

How about we race to that
lifeguard tower over there?

Okay. Sounds good.

What's in it for the winner?

Bragging rights. I already have those

from our last race.Whatever.

Just name your stakes.

Okay. If I win,

you cannot ask a single favor
of me for an entire month.

Four weeks?

Yes, that constitutes
a month, Magnum.

I'll do two weeks. You're that certain
you're gonna lose?

No, I'm gonna win.Right.

Four weeks, then.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

On one.Ready.

Three...

two...

Cheater!

Sore loser!

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