Magnum P.I. (2018): Season 3, Episode 13 - Cry Murder - full transcript
As Magnum and Higgins work a case to recover valuable stolen truffles, they also must care for a baby left abandoned at the gates of their estate, while Kumu tries to locate the infant's mother.
["Steel Guitar and a Glass
of Wine" by Paul Anka playing]
♪ Just give me a steel guitar
♪ A glass of wine
♪ And let me drink to a love
♪ I thought was mine
♪ A love I thought
was true to me ♪
♪ But now I'm drinking
to her memory ♪
♪ A steel guitar
and a glass of wine ♪
♪ While my tears, they glisten
and the candles shine... ♪
[screams]
[Magnum shouting in distance]
I knew it.
You okay?
This isn't funny.
I'm not laughing.
Inside you are.
I can assure you I'm not.
You know, you-you could have
broken my finger.
Maybe you shouldn't be
poking around down here.
Oh, so you intentionally
tried to maim me.
I did no such thing.
Why else would you put
a mousetrap
on top of a wine bottle?
Gee, Magnum, perhaps because
we have a mouse problem?
Since when?
Since I found a dropping.
And your first instinct
is to kill
this innocent creature?
It's a rodent, Magnum.
Labs experiment on them
all the time.
All the more reason
to give this one a break.
This conversation is over.
Heartless.
Get over it.
You know, FYI,
mice have a really keen sense
of hearing.
Communicate very well,
they have wonderful memories.
Why do you think they're
experimented on all the time?
Go on.
Because they're smart.
They're the smartest animal
next to man.
No, they're not.
Name one animal that's smarter.
Chimps, dolphins, horses, pigs?
Those are the obvious ones.
Name something else.
[phone ringing]
We have a visitor.
Oh.
Doesn't appear
to be anyone there.
Must be a delivery.
I'll get it.
This place is like
a slaughterhouse.
Dungeon.What?
Medieval down here now.
[phone ringing]
Yes?
Uh, think you should
come out here.
Magnum, if it's a package
for me, I'd appreciate it
if you'd just bring it up
to the main house?
I don't know who it's for.
[baby crying]
Magnum, is that a...?
Yeah.
♪
[babbles softly]
You got to admit,
I mean, he is pretty cute.
[stammers] Do you even
know what you're doing?
I'm comforting him.
Just be careful.
You want to take him?
Absolutely not.
[crying]
MAGNUM: Good job.
N-- And now you upset him.
Nonsense. He has
no idea what I just said.
No, babies are born
with the ability
to sense British and uptight.
Aren't you? Yes, you are.
Y-You do realize you're not
keeping it, right, Magnum?
We need to call
Child Protective Services.
Don't listen to the mean lady.
Uncle Thomas has you.
Come here.
Oh, yeah.
Bloody hell.
What's it say?
"Please give Hiapo a good life."
KUMU:
What's going on?
I thought I heard a...
Yes. One of those.
What's that baby
doing here?
You didn't notice?
He's been living
in the guesthouse
for three years.
I meant the smaller one.
Somebody left him
at the front gate.
Along with that note.
Ah.
His name's Hiapo.
That means "firstborn."
[sighs]
Who would do a thing like this?
Well, given Magnum's
many dalliances,
perhaps it was
one of his former paramours?
Are you suggesting this kid
is my love child?
Well, it's not out of
the realm of possibility.
Right.Now here we are.
There.
Oh, this is so sad.
What happens when
you punch in a bit?
[typing]
Well, so much
for facial recognition.
Want to hold him
for a second?
I thought you'd never ask.
[mutters]
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
What are you doing?
I'm guessing
he's looking for fingerprints.
I mean, there's got to be one
on here, right? Somewhere?
[inhales sharply]
Nothing like
the smell of a newborn.
What, you mean excrement,
spit-up and urine?
Eh, she does not like babies.
That isn't true.
I just prefer it
when they're looked after
by a parent or a legal guardian.
You gonna call
Child Protective Services?
Eh, no, I think we should
hold off on that.
Why?
Because this isn't
a fire station or a hospital.
You can't just drop a baby
off anywhere you want to.
Whoever left him here could get
into some serious trouble.
Perhaps they should.
Yeah, but
we don't know the circumstances.
We should find out
who the mother is,
get the whole story,
and then we can go to CPS.
I agree.
They wanted him
to have a better home.
He's now in our care.
Very well. Anything?
Nope. Not a single print.
But this could
be something.
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
Here we are.
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
Looks like it's a nonprofit.
If they're the ones that gave
this woman the car seat,
they might know who she is.
Now, whoa, whoa, hold on.
You realize we have
a client meeting
in less than an hour?
Yeah, just cancel it.
No.
It's with the insurance company
we've been courting.
They have very deep pockets,
which means I might be able
to cover some expenses
around here.
I'll go to 'Ewa Beach.
I'll see what I can find out.
Great. Lovely. Right.
Chop-chop, Magnum.
Okay, all right, buddy.
Right, well, what are you doing?
Putting him in the car seat.
Safety first.
Get that little arm in.
Okay. Ready for a ride?
I'm still unclear as to why
he had to come with.
We can't leave him home alone.
Kumu's out there looking
for his mother, right?
If she shows up with
the baby in hand,
they're gonna call
HPD immediately.
Hmm.
How's he doing back there?
You think he's strapped in
tight enough?
I do.
Can you check?
[babbles]
Yeah. Snug as an astronaut.
Thank you.
You know, I'm a little nervous.
It's a kid. Lot of
responsibility.
True, but you can't be entirely
foreign to this experience.
You didn't have dogs growing up?
Of course I did.
But, you know, that wasn't the
first pet I had to take care of.
That was... was Roberto.
Who was Roberto?
Roberto was a, was my mouse.
Loved that little guy.
Ah. Roberto the mouse.
Yeah, he was a gift from my
uncle for my eighth birthday.
He was what's known as a tan.
He's-he's got a chocolate back
with this tan little belly.
Really cute.
So what became
of Roberto the mouse?
You know, I don't really
want to talk about it.
I'm not mocking you, Magnum.
Yeah, it's not that.
Did you kill it?
Why would you say that?
What? You were eight,
and taking care of a pet
is quite the responsibility,
you know?
It was an accident, all right?
I-I took him out of his cage
when I probably shouldn't have,
I was playing with him
in the front yard,
somebody pulled in, he...
he got crushed.
That must have been
heartbreaking.
[Hiapo crying]
Hey, buddy.
Oh, my God. What did you do?
What did I do? What did you do?
You're making him cry.
Well, can you make it stop?
There's not an on-off switch.
Well, that's not what I mean.
Well, you're gonna have
to help him out. I'm driving.
What-- Pull over.
[shushing]
It's okay.
MAGNUM:
It's okay, little buddy.
[shushes]
Quickly.
Hurry up.
[Hiapo continues crying]
[Higgins shushing]
Hey, buddy.
What's going on? He's wet.
It's 86 degrees out. I'm sure
he'll dry off in due course.
That whole towel's soaked.
That's not how it works.
H-He needs a diaper.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
What are you doing?
Bring him here.
Okay, here we go.
Now lay him down.
[Magnum shushing]
Now take your shirt off.
Why?
Just strip, all right?
You're all right,
you're all right.
Shush, shush, shush, little man.
Very noisy.
Yes...
What am I supposed
to do with this?
I don't know. You figure it out.
Just a second...
There we go. Very good.
Aw, there we are.
See? Improvised field dressing.
Problem solved.
Ah, that's better.
So many questions right now.
Uh, we're gonna need a favor.
I'm guessing it has something
to do with the baby
that's wearing your shirt
as its diaper.
Thought so.
What's going on?
His name's Hiapo.
Who does he belong to?
Believe it or not,
someone dropped him at the
front gate this morning.
Oh, wow.
Maybe he's yours.
Given your history
of casual hookups.
Uh, can you just watch him
while we talk
to our client?
[chuckles] I think I can handle
watching a little baby.
I'm also gonna need a shirt.
Yes, that would be prudent.
Oh.
Look at this little guy.
[chuckles]
Okay, let's go.
Don't worry, little fella.
Soon as you turn three,
I'm sure he's gonna ask you
for favors, too.
Hello there.
I'm Juliet Higgins.
This is my partner
Thomas Magnum.
Olivia Tremell.
I work for the Kloten
Insurance Group.
Yes. Zurich-based,
$11.1 billion
in direct premiums.
Two-percent market share.
You guys do a lot
of high-risk underwriting
on the island, right?
Yeah, we like to do our research
on our potential clients.
That's good business.
So, how can we help you?
What do you know
about white truffles?
They're delicious.
They're the most expensive food
in the world.
OLIVIA:
Both right.
Two days ago,
one of our clients,
a local restaurant
called Angelino's, was robbed.
The Italian place on Kapiolani.
Yes. Sometime after closing,
43 pounds of Italian
white winter truffles from Alba
disappeared from the restaurant.
At their current
market price,
that's approximately
$425,000.
For mushrooms?
[scoffs] Excuse my rather
unrefined associate.
It's okay.
I had the same reaction
when the policy crossed my desk.
As you can imagine,
my bosses are not too keen
on having to cover
such a sizable loss.
Which is where we come in.
MAGNUM:
You want us
to find the mushrooms.
If you can,
we'll give you
a generous finder's fee.
Ten percent of the total value.
42 grand? We've never made
that kind of money before.
And you wanted to cancel.
Need I remind you,
I was the one who came up
with the idea
of courting insurance companies
for their business.
If you saying, "Uh, we need to,
uh, hit up some fat cats
to make a quick buck,"
is your definition of an idea,
then-then, yes,
it belongs entirely to you.
42 grand, man,
that is some serious stacks.
Hear that, Hiapo?
We're gonna be rich, buddy.
Well, whilst I would love
to share in your enthusiasm,
there is one small problem.
What's that?
Well, white truffles go bad
in a few days.
If we don't find them soon,
there will be no
"serious stacks" to talk of.
♪
Hi.
Oh, what the hell is this?
[both shushing]
We just got him down.
Don't tell me you stole this
baby from a homeless person.
Gordie, can you please use
your inside voice?
Seriously?
[whispers]: We're trying
to find the baby's mother.
It's a long story.
Child Protective Services
is on the second floor.
Well, no, that's actually
not why we're here.
No, we need to see
a police report.
You know this isn't a library
where you can just
check stuff out, right?
No, no. We're working
the Angelino's burglary case.
You mean HPD's working the case.
We've actually been retained
by the insurance company.
[Hiapo crying]
[Magnum sighs]
You happy? You woke him up.
[sighs]
He's hungry.
How do you know?
Because I'm a father.
MAGNUM:
There you go.
Look, I'll get you the file.
Okay? Just get that baby
some food,
then over to CPS, all right?
All right?
Don't mind Uncle Gordie.
He's just a little grumpy.
MAGNUM:
Wow, he really pounded
that thing.
[farts]
Oh. Seriously?
Didn't you just go?
That was an hour ago.
Is that normal?
Why are you asking me?
Here you are.
You know,
whatever's the opposite
of maternal instincts,
you were born with a ton of it.
For your information,
I am an expert
on children ages six to ten.
I find that really hard
to believe.
At 15, Mr. and Mrs. Belshire
employed me as a summer nanny,
thank you very much.
You were a babysitter?
Oh, my God, those poor kids
must have hated you.
Quite the opposite.
They relished the discipline
they did not get
from their parents.
I doubt it.
Excuse me?
Just saying, you're like...
Mary Poppins without the fun.
Will you stop dillydallying?
That child is turning ripe.
Well, if I'm gonna be working,
you should be working, too.
Not sitting there
enjoying me be tortured.
Anything in the report
that we can use?
I'm still reading.
Did Angelino's have
any security cameras?
They did have security cameras,
but they weren't working
prior to the burglary.
Convenient for the thieves.
Not really.
The restaurant had yet to get
back on its feet post-COVID,
so repairing the cameras
was a deferred cost.
Whoa. Oh, man.
Please do something with it.
You know, why does
it have to be me?
I-I could read just
as well as you can.
Debatable. Besides,
you're clearly very good at it.
Changing diapers?
At being a father.
Oh, okay.
This might be something.
Please, anything to distract me
from what's going on down here.
The truffles were only delivered
a few hours before the burglary,
so our thief had to have
prior knowledge.
Why is that?
Because Italian
white winter truffles
weren't on the menu
since Christmas.
So this could've been
an inside job.
[phone ringing]
WOMAN:
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
KUMU:
I'm looking for
this young woman.
I know you can't really
see her face.
You know her, don't you?
I might.
Can you tell me her name?
Where I can find her?
What's this regarding?
Uh, it's a private matter.
I'm sorry, but we need
to safeguard the privacy
of the women
who seek assistance here.
I understand.
But this is important.
I swear I mean no harm.
Sorry. Unless you want to share
what this is about,
I can't help you.
Mahalo for your time.
Hey, Luana, this is Keala
from 'Ewa Beach
Women's Services facility.
A woman came by here looking
for you, but she didn't say why.
Call me back
when you can.
Okay, thanks. Bye.
Uh, I'm sorry
to bother you again.
I-I have to make
a phone call
and my phone just died.
Can I borrow yours?
Sure. Dial 9 first.
Mahalo.
[sighs]
Busy.
Mahalo.
Hey, Rick? It's Kumu.
This might be a long shot,
but I think I have a lead
on, uh, Hiapo's mother.
You think you could have one
of your friends at HPD
run a number for me?
As I told the police,
when I came here in the morning,
I found the front door open.
I came directly to the kitchen,
and they were gone.
Everything. The entire delivery.
Hey.
Would your baby
like some cheese?
Uh, no, thank you.
He-he just ate.
So, according to
the police report,
a padlock was cut off
this refrigerator.
Yes, ma'am.
Which means the thief
brought bolt cutters,
knowing what to expect.
What are you saying?HIGGINS:
Well, besides your employees,
who else knew about
the truffle delivery?
Only Mrs. Memminger,
the food distributor
that I buy the truffles from.
How well do you know
your employees?
Noi siamo una famiglia.
Each one of them is like family.
Wait, wait, wait,
are you implying
that one of them did this?
That's not possible.
Your employees had been
out of work for a while.
Uh, people tend
to act out of character
when they get desperate.
Mr. Ferragamo,
on the day you discovered
the truffles stolen,
did any of your employees
fail to turn up for work?
One of my waiters.
Jimmy Bowman, 22.
Graduate, Kukui High.
No record,
but his father did time,
and his two cousins,
frequent fliers.
Thanks. If you're thinking
about them as suspects,
I suggest you tread carefully.
They're dangerous guys.
Copy that.
Now, if you could just text me
Bowman's address in Pearl City,
it'd be much appreciated.
Okay.
Sorry about that, little buddy.
No fun today. Mommy and Daddy
are gonna get you
to a safe place
so we can solve this crime
and get that cash.
Could you please not say that?
Say what?
"Mommy and Daddy."
Okay, do you prefer
"Daddy and the overly strict
nanny"?
HIGGINS:
I prefer none of the above.
MAGNUM: Can we please not
fight in front of the kid?
♪
I don't know about this.
What if I drop him?
You're not gonna drop him.
Perhaps one of us should stay.
No, he'll be fine.
I'm also gonna need the keys
to your Porsche.
Excuse me?
I'm not taking
this car seat out again.
And you have to have it
just in case.
Just in c-- Just in case?
Just in case of what?
Just in case of what?
I don't know, place catches
fire, you got to run.
If that happens,
I want to make sure
Hiapo's
in the car seat.
Now give me your car keys, okay?
You guys are gonna
get along just fine.
Enjoy.
Okay. Bye.
Uh...
So, what's up?
[engine revs]
Nice car, mister.
Thanks.
Can we sit in it?
How old are you?
Nine.I'll tell you what,
you guys keep an eye
on the car,
there's 20 bucks in it for you.
[chuckles]
Cute kids.
Anything happens to Rick's
Porsche or those kids,
it's on you.They'll behave.
How do you know that?
Did you hear what the older one
said when he walked up?
"Nice car"?
"Mister." Means there's
somebody at home
teaching him manners, right?
They're not gonna mess
with the car, trust me.
Two hours with a
baby and suddenly
he's an expert
on child-rearing.
You said it yourself,
I would make a good father.
Or were you messing with me?
Got the job done, didn't it?
Whatever. Unlike you,
I have
excellent parental instincts.
I think Roberto the
mouse would disagree.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
[car horn honking]
What are they doing?
And on this week's episode
of Father Knows Worst,
two youngsters destroy
a pricey German sports car.
Eh, come on, kids, knock it off!
[door creaks]
Jimmy Bowman?
["Stop the Rock"
by Apollo 440 playing]
♪ Stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock
♪ Stop the rock
[grunts]
♪ Stop the rock
[grunts]
♪ Stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock
♪ Can't stop the rock
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock, can't
stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop
[grunting]
[car horns honking,
tires screeching]
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba,
ba-ba-ba, ba, ba... ♪
Hey, watch it!
Get out of here.Sorry.
♪ Shape the rock
like Henry Moore ♪
♪ Aphrodite at the water hole
Hey, watch it!
♪ Shape the rock...
Yo, it's me-- I got trouble!
Coming your way!
♪ The water hole, come on
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop ♪
Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba...
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop
♪ The rock, you can't stop
the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop. ♪
You're trespassing.
[both panting]
We don't want... we
don't want any trouble.
Some neighborhood watch group
you've got here.
We're Jimmy's cousins.
Why you chasing him?
Private...
investigators.
We're looking
into a burglary
that happened at the restaurant
that Jimmy worked at.
He don't know
nothing about it.
You don't work
for Big Tuna?
No, we absolutely do not.
Who's Big Tuna?
Don't say anything.
Big Tuna said he'd cut me in
on the score if I told him
when Angelino's
got a truffle order.
What'd I just say?
Well, Big T screwed me.
Why should I protect him?
'Cause I said so.
Just let him talk, please.
I'd be shutting up, too,
if I was you.
Please, gentlemen.
We are what you'd
like to call, uh,
good Samaritans with a very...
poor long-term memory.
And, uh...
also...
helping us could be
very, well, lucrative.
And I can guarantee
discretion.
Discretion means we'll
keep our mouths shut.
I know what it means,
jackass.
Look, you were saying, uh,
your associate
Big Tuna said he would
cut you in on the proceeds
of these stolen truffles, yes?
Yeah, but then he reneged.
Said he'd send over
some leg breakers
if I kept asking
for my cut.
You thought we were
the leg breakers?
I guess your family
wasn't gonna step in?
Kid's got to learn
by his mistakes.
His father would've wanted that.
Sound advice.
Now, gentlemen,
we'd very much
like to leave,
if you don't mind.
If you could point us
in the direction of this
Big Tuna chap,
we'd be very much appreciative.
As long as you keep
Jimmy's name out of it.
MAGNUM:
Hey.
Absolutely.
You have our word.
I'll take
your driver's license instead.
Why?
'Cause I'm gonna write down
your addresses.
And if the cops come
for my cousin here,
you two are gonna be dead.
What happened to letting
Jimmy learn from his mistakes?
That wouldn't be
Jimmy's mistake.
It would be yours.
I'm here.
This better be a real emergency.
The last time you texted me
"Get down here,
Defcon 2,"
you needed somebody to film you
doing the handstand challenge.
Well, this is
a legit emergency, my man.
Why, what's going on?
The liquor commission is
on its way down.
Yeah, so?
So I'm thinking
a baby behind the bar
is a little bit
of a code violation.
Oh, whose baby is that?
Nobody knows.
Some lady dropped him off
at Robin's Nest,
hit the doorbell and ran.
What are the chances
it's Magnum's?
I'd say three to one.
Anyway, Higgins and Thomas
are off on a case
and Kumu is busy, so
I've been babysitting this guy,
but now I need you to tag in.
Yeah, all right.
All right, all right,
buddy, come on.
Hiapo, meet TC.
TC,
meet Hiapo.
Yeah, give me a fist bump,
give me a fist bump.
Give me a fist bump-- boom!
[laughs]
[sniffs]
[Hiapo cooing]
You take that baby to CPS yet?
Gordie, what happened to picking
up the phone and saying aloha?
So you didn't?
That's not why we called.
All right, I'm hanging up now.
No, no, no, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
No more favors until you get
that baby into the system.
Gordon, we have a very good lead
as to who the baby's mother is.
We feel like it is
in the baby's best interest
to find her
before we add any more trauma
to her life.
She abandoned her child.
You can't force her
to take him back.
No, but we can hear
her side of the story.
And figure out if foster care is
what she thinks is
truly best for her son.
Ah, come on, you're
a father, Gordie.
You should, you should
understand this.
All right.
What'd you call me for?
You ever hear of a
guy named Big Tuna?
Why do you ask?
He's a person
of interest in our case.
We stopped by his
house earlier today,
no one was there.
You have any idea
where we might find him?
Yeah.
I know exactly
where you can find him.
That's a lot of holes.
Six .38-caliber GSWs
to be exact.
Five to the
chest region.
And one to the forehead
penetrating the frontal
and parietal lobes.
Coup de grâce.
Somebody didn't want
Big Tuna getting up.
HIGGINS:
Thank you, Noelani.
You know, for a guy
named Big Tuna,
he wasn't very large.
He did have a peculiar diet,
I can tell you that much.
How so?
I found something odd in
the contents of his stomach.
A fungus known as
Choiromyces maeandriformis.
Maybe he sampled some
of what he stole.
$10,000 a pound,
I'd probably do the same thing.
What are you talking about?
We believe the deceased
might have stolen
a very expensive delivery
of white winter truffles.
Oh, well, this
wasn't that.
In fact,
from a culinary point of view
this fungus is known
as a fake truffle.
One burglary,
one murder.
All for nothing.
Well, perhaps
the killer didn't know
that the truffles
were worthless.
What about Ms. Memminger?
The woman who sold them
to Angelo?
Yeah, maybe she had reason
to believe somebody
would find out
they were fake.
[phone ringing]
TC, how's the baby?
Yo, this boy is having a full-on
meltdown-- what should I do?
Well, he probably needs to be
fed, burped or changed.
Yeah, no kidding.
I already did all that.
And he's still
screaming like a banshee.
Look, man, I got clients coming
that want to talk
about a wedding package.
I need help here.
Uh...
Uh, TC, put us on video.
And turn the camera on him,
all right?
Okay, hold on.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Hello, pumpkin.
Oh!
Someone's having
a bit of a moment,
aren't they? Ooh.
It's okay.
Poor thing.
Uh...
♪ The Grand Old Duke of York
♪ He had 10,000 men
♪ He walked them up
to the top of the hill ♪
♪ And he walked them
down again ♪
♪ And when they were up
♪ They were up,
and when they were down ♪
♪ They were down,
and when they were only ♪
♪ Halfway up,
they were neither up nor down. ♪
Oh, come on.
My voice isn't that bad.
[gasps]
Come on.
Okay, uh, uh...
Where's the baby? There he is!
Oh, where's the baby?
There he is.
Oh!
Where's the baby?
There he is!
There he is, okay.
You did it, Higgy baby.
[laughs]:
Oh!
Okay, well, I'd, uh,
I'd just try
and put him down now, yeah?
Roger that.
What?
Nothing.
[indistinct chatter]
Luana?
Yes?
My name is Teuila.
Can we talk for a few minutes?
About?
I came over from Maui
about a year ago to work.
Wanted to save up for school.
Anyway,
I started seeing this guy.
It was s-sort
of casual.
When I told him, he said
there was no way it was his.
Said I was trying
to trap him or something.
Why did you leave
your baby at Robin's Nest?
I live a few miles from there.
I'd always see the gates.
Thought the people who lived
there must have money
and could give Hiapo
a better life than I ever could.
I saw them a couple times.
Coming or going
in that red Ferrari.
Thomas and Juliet.
They looked like
a nice couple.
Like two people who really cared
about each other.
[chuckles]
What?
They're not a couple.
Although I do think
they care deeply for each other,
when they're not bickering.
If they're not together,
what are they, then?
Business partners.
Well,
he also works for her.
Uh, it's complicated.
Well, I thought
they were a couple.
And I was desperate.
If I gave Hiapo to foster care,
they would just move him around.
I didn't...
I didn't know what else to do.
I thought this was
the best thing for him.
You gonna call the cops on me?
No.
I don't think anyone needs
to know about this.
But my friends can't keep him.
I can't raise him on my own.
I can barely take care
of myself.
What about your parents?
They can't help?
I'm too afraid to tell them.
We don't exactly have
the best relationship.
[sighs]
You think
they'll be disappointed.
I know they will be.
Luana.
Do you want to keep your baby,
be his mother?
[voice breaks]:
Of course I do.
Then you have to grow up.
[scoffs]
You can't just embrace
adulthood in some ways
and not in others.
Oh, I know
it's going to be painful,
but you have to at least try.
For Hiapo.
[sighs]
Can I help you?
Helen Memminger?
Detective Magnum, HPD.
This is my partner
Detective Higgins.
Can I see your badge?
You can see the inside
of my squad car.
[cocks hammer]
I don't think so.
Okay. All right,
we're not cops.
We're private investigators.
Oh, in that case, you can leave.
Let me ask you a question--
what is that, a .38?
We're done talking.
HIGGINS: Listen, you recently sold
nearly half a million dollars'
worth of white winter truffles
to Angelo Ferragamo.
We suspect you knew
those truffles were fake.
Those truffles were then stolen
by a man who is now dead.
Meanwhile,
the truffles are missing,
which leads us
to believe
he was killed for them.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Did you kill him
to keep it a secret?
Do I look that dumb to you?
Then tell us who
else on this island
would be interested
in those truffles.
You want me
to help you find a killer?
You help us,we won't turn you in
for ripping people off.
That's a ballsy statement seeing
as I'm the one holding the gun.
Not anymore.
I was gonna do that.
Well, I got tired of waiting.
Now, tell us who else
you sell your fake truffles to.
After COVID, no one's got
the cash to buy truffles.
Angelo's my only customer.
Angelo couldn't even afford
to fix the security cameras.
How did he pay for truffles?
Mrs. Memminger,
did Mr. Ferragamo know
the truffles he was buying
were fake?
Absolutely.
So Angelo knew that if
anyone else found out
the truffles were fake,
he wouldn't get the
insurance money.
So he killed Big Tuna
to keep it a secret.
And now I'm gonna have
to kill you.
So, those are
the truffles?
Shut up and walk.
Guess you found them
at Big Tuna's place,
and now you're bringing
them here to hide.
You do realize
that if you kill us,
the insurance company are going
to have even more questions.
Questions they'll
never get answers to.
[gunshot][grunts]
HIGGINS:
Uh, Magnum.
[gunshot]
Drop the truffles.
[Angelo groaning]
You know how ridiculous
that sounds?
Evidence is evidence.
[gasping]
[siren blares]
[siren whooping]
Angelo told us
everything.
Why would he do that?
Well, we may have taken our time
calling the ambulance.
Maybe you should just tell me
the details of the crime.
When Big Tuna stole the truffles
from Angelo
and realized they were fake,
he blackmailed Angelo.
For what?
Half the insurance claim,
or he'd reveal the scam.
So Angelo killed him.
So these are worthless?
Yeah. Which means
the insurance company's
no longer obliged to give us
ten percent of the claim.
We'll be lucky to get our
day rate plus expenses.
Maybe we could hide
some diapers in the bill.
Well, you did the
public a service
by getting a killer
off the street.
That should be payment enough.
Yeah, but the cash
would have been a nice bonus.
You're welcome.
So, how was babysitting?
You take that little
fella down to the beach,
pick up some babes?
Hmm, that's something
you would do.
I do not need a baby
to help me meet women.
My game is just fine.
Okay.
There he is.
Hey, little guy.
Missed you.
No apparent wear and tear.
Well done.
[chuckles]
You know what? I got some
Okinawan sweet potatoes
in the back-- I'll puree
'em, send 'em out.
Thanks, brother.
I got to tap out.
See you later,
little guy.
Thanks, TC.
TC:
All right.
[gasps]
What a cutie.
Congratulations.
Oh, no,
he's not...Ah, thank you.
He is quite adorable, I know.
[whispers]:
Bye.
Okay, say goodbye.
Bye.
[laughs]
Say goodbye.
[laughs]
You've really enjoyed
spending this time with
Hiapo, haven't you?
It's been fun.
Ever thought
about having one of these?
No, not really.
Well, I mean...
yeah, Richard and I would
talk about it, but...
we wanted to be married
for a few years first.
I know Ethan
wants a couple.
How about you?
Yeah, I thought
about it quite a bit
when I was, uh...
being held captive.
Coming home,
having a couple mini-me's.
I think it helped
to have something
to look forward to, you know?
Mm.
Something to keep me going.
Well, for what it's worth,
I think you'd be
really good at it.
[chuckles]
I don't think
you'd be so bad yourself.
Appreciate that, but...
well, I don't know
that I'm built for it.
Not everyone should be
a parent, you know.
Come on,
you would love it.
Yes, she would. Huh?
It's just...
the world is a very
strange place right now.
I just think we
need to fix it
before we bring any more
life into it, you know?
[takes deep breath]
Can't leave it for the next
generation to clear up.
Fair enough.
♪
MAGNUM:
Luana just pulled
through the gate.
HIGGINS:
I'll be up in a minute.
You got him.
Catch and release this time.
So, where's he gonna go?
Well, this one...
isn't going anywhere.
Roberto the second,
meet your new owner...
Thomas Magnum.
[chuckling]
I believe he's a tan.
Well, he's certainly cute.
[laughs]
Hello.[cooing]
Oh.
Thank you.
Just, uh, one
more thing.
He stays in the
guesthouse.
You sure?
I mean, we could share him,
raise him together.
I'll give him to you
on the weekends, you know.
No, no, no.
I think we've done
quite enough co-parenting,
thank you.
[soft chittering]
Okay, we better go up.
This one's mother
is waiting for him.
[chuckles]He kind of
looks like you.
Yeah, we both like wine.
Wow, somebody was hungry.
MAGNUM:
I found it.
Hiapo's gonna love this.
[laughs]
Look at that, buddy--
a rubber chicken!
[crying]
Oh.
Come on,
who doesn't love
a rubber chicken?
It's okay. Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Here.
Let me try.
[crying continues]
Ooh, shush,
shush, shush.
♪ Round and round the garden,
like a teddy bear ♪
♪ One step, two step
♪ Tickle you
under there! ♪
[laughter]
Yeah.
[stops crying]
Wow.
You'd be a great mom,
Ms. Higgins.
Slow down.
I already have my hands full
looking after one baby.
Come on, don't talk
about Kumu like that.
I'm pretty sure she
was talking about you, buddy.
[phone dings][chuckles]
I figured that out.
All right, uh, Kumu just texted:
your parents are here.
She's bringing them over now.
LUANA:
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Here you go.
Right.
There she is.
♪ We're gonna catch our dreams
It's gonna be okay, kid.
TC's right.
You guys have
friends here.
Regardless
of what happens...
we'd like to stay in your life,
if that's possible.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...♪
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me
Yeah.
Yeah, we would love that.
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...♪
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me.
of Wine" by Paul Anka playing]
♪ Just give me a steel guitar
♪ A glass of wine
♪ And let me drink to a love
♪ I thought was mine
♪ A love I thought
was true to me ♪
♪ But now I'm drinking
to her memory ♪
♪ A steel guitar
and a glass of wine ♪
♪ While my tears, they glisten
and the candles shine... ♪
[screams]
[Magnum shouting in distance]
I knew it.
You okay?
This isn't funny.
I'm not laughing.
Inside you are.
I can assure you I'm not.
You know, you-you could have
broken my finger.
Maybe you shouldn't be
poking around down here.
Oh, so you intentionally
tried to maim me.
I did no such thing.
Why else would you put
a mousetrap
on top of a wine bottle?
Gee, Magnum, perhaps because
we have a mouse problem?
Since when?
Since I found a dropping.
And your first instinct
is to kill
this innocent creature?
It's a rodent, Magnum.
Labs experiment on them
all the time.
All the more reason
to give this one a break.
This conversation is over.
Heartless.
Get over it.
You know, FYI,
mice have a really keen sense
of hearing.
Communicate very well,
they have wonderful memories.
Why do you think they're
experimented on all the time?
Go on.
Because they're smart.
They're the smartest animal
next to man.
No, they're not.
Name one animal that's smarter.
Chimps, dolphins, horses, pigs?
Those are the obvious ones.
Name something else.
[phone ringing]
We have a visitor.
Oh.
Doesn't appear
to be anyone there.
Must be a delivery.
I'll get it.
This place is like
a slaughterhouse.
Dungeon.What?
Medieval down here now.
[phone ringing]
Yes?
Uh, think you should
come out here.
Magnum, if it's a package
for me, I'd appreciate it
if you'd just bring it up
to the main house?
I don't know who it's for.
[baby crying]
Magnum, is that a...?
Yeah.
♪
[babbles softly]
You got to admit,
I mean, he is pretty cute.
[stammers] Do you even
know what you're doing?
I'm comforting him.
Just be careful.
You want to take him?
Absolutely not.
[crying]
MAGNUM: Good job.
N-- And now you upset him.
Nonsense. He has
no idea what I just said.
No, babies are born
with the ability
to sense British and uptight.
Aren't you? Yes, you are.
Y-You do realize you're not
keeping it, right, Magnum?
We need to call
Child Protective Services.
Don't listen to the mean lady.
Uncle Thomas has you.
Come here.
Oh, yeah.
Bloody hell.
What's it say?
"Please give Hiapo a good life."
KUMU:
What's going on?
I thought I heard a...
Yes. One of those.
What's that baby
doing here?
You didn't notice?
He's been living
in the guesthouse
for three years.
I meant the smaller one.
Somebody left him
at the front gate.
Along with that note.
Ah.
His name's Hiapo.
That means "firstborn."
[sighs]
Who would do a thing like this?
Well, given Magnum's
many dalliances,
perhaps it was
one of his former paramours?
Are you suggesting this kid
is my love child?
Well, it's not out of
the realm of possibility.
Right.Now here we are.
There.
Oh, this is so sad.
What happens when
you punch in a bit?
[typing]
Well, so much
for facial recognition.
Want to hold him
for a second?
I thought you'd never ask.
[mutters]
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
What are you doing?
I'm guessing
he's looking for fingerprints.
I mean, there's got to be one
on here, right? Somewhere?
[inhales sharply]
Nothing like
the smell of a newborn.
What, you mean excrement,
spit-up and urine?
Eh, she does not like babies.
That isn't true.
I just prefer it
when they're looked after
by a parent or a legal guardian.
You gonna call
Child Protective Services?
Eh, no, I think we should
hold off on that.
Why?
Because this isn't
a fire station or a hospital.
You can't just drop a baby
off anywhere you want to.
Whoever left him here could get
into some serious trouble.
Perhaps they should.
Yeah, but
we don't know the circumstances.
We should find out
who the mother is,
get the whole story,
and then we can go to CPS.
I agree.
They wanted him
to have a better home.
He's now in our care.
Very well. Anything?
Nope. Not a single print.
But this could
be something.
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
Here we are.
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
Looks like it's a nonprofit.
If they're the ones that gave
this woman the car seat,
they might know who she is.
Now, whoa, whoa, hold on.
You realize we have
a client meeting
in less than an hour?
Yeah, just cancel it.
No.
It's with the insurance company
we've been courting.
They have very deep pockets,
which means I might be able
to cover some expenses
around here.
I'll go to 'Ewa Beach.
I'll see what I can find out.
Great. Lovely. Right.
Chop-chop, Magnum.
Okay, all right, buddy.
Right, well, what are you doing?
Putting him in the car seat.
Safety first.
Get that little arm in.
Okay. Ready for a ride?
I'm still unclear as to why
he had to come with.
We can't leave him home alone.
Kumu's out there looking
for his mother, right?
If she shows up with
the baby in hand,
they're gonna call
HPD immediately.
Hmm.
How's he doing back there?
You think he's strapped in
tight enough?
I do.
Can you check?
[babbles]
Yeah. Snug as an astronaut.
Thank you.
You know, I'm a little nervous.
It's a kid. Lot of
responsibility.
True, but you can't be entirely
foreign to this experience.
You didn't have dogs growing up?
Of course I did.
But, you know, that wasn't the
first pet I had to take care of.
That was... was Roberto.
Who was Roberto?
Roberto was a, was my mouse.
Loved that little guy.
Ah. Roberto the mouse.
Yeah, he was a gift from my
uncle for my eighth birthday.
He was what's known as a tan.
He's-he's got a chocolate back
with this tan little belly.
Really cute.
So what became
of Roberto the mouse?
You know, I don't really
want to talk about it.
I'm not mocking you, Magnum.
Yeah, it's not that.
Did you kill it?
Why would you say that?
What? You were eight,
and taking care of a pet
is quite the responsibility,
you know?
It was an accident, all right?
I-I took him out of his cage
when I probably shouldn't have,
I was playing with him
in the front yard,
somebody pulled in, he...
he got crushed.
That must have been
heartbreaking.
[Hiapo crying]
Hey, buddy.
Oh, my God. What did you do?
What did I do? What did you do?
You're making him cry.
Well, can you make it stop?
There's not an on-off switch.
Well, that's not what I mean.
Well, you're gonna have
to help him out. I'm driving.
What-- Pull over.
[shushing]
It's okay.
MAGNUM:
It's okay, little buddy.
[shushes]
Quickly.
Hurry up.
[Hiapo continues crying]
[Higgins shushing]
Hey, buddy.
What's going on? He's wet.
It's 86 degrees out. I'm sure
he'll dry off in due course.
That whole towel's soaked.
That's not how it works.
H-He needs a diaper.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
What are you doing?
Bring him here.
Okay, here we go.
Now lay him down.
[Magnum shushing]
Now take your shirt off.
Why?
Just strip, all right?
You're all right,
you're all right.
Shush, shush, shush, little man.
Very noisy.
Yes...
What am I supposed
to do with this?
I don't know. You figure it out.
Just a second...
There we go. Very good.
Aw, there we are.
See? Improvised field dressing.
Problem solved.
Ah, that's better.
So many questions right now.
Uh, we're gonna need a favor.
I'm guessing it has something
to do with the baby
that's wearing your shirt
as its diaper.
Thought so.
What's going on?
His name's Hiapo.
Who does he belong to?
Believe it or not,
someone dropped him at the
front gate this morning.
Oh, wow.
Maybe he's yours.
Given your history
of casual hookups.
Uh, can you just watch him
while we talk
to our client?
[chuckles] I think I can handle
watching a little baby.
I'm also gonna need a shirt.
Yes, that would be prudent.
Oh.
Look at this little guy.
[chuckles]
Okay, let's go.
Don't worry, little fella.
Soon as you turn three,
I'm sure he's gonna ask you
for favors, too.
Hello there.
I'm Juliet Higgins.
This is my partner
Thomas Magnum.
Olivia Tremell.
I work for the Kloten
Insurance Group.
Yes. Zurich-based,
$11.1 billion
in direct premiums.
Two-percent market share.
You guys do a lot
of high-risk underwriting
on the island, right?
Yeah, we like to do our research
on our potential clients.
That's good business.
So, how can we help you?
What do you know
about white truffles?
They're delicious.
They're the most expensive food
in the world.
OLIVIA:
Both right.
Two days ago,
one of our clients,
a local restaurant
called Angelino's, was robbed.
The Italian place on Kapiolani.
Yes. Sometime after closing,
43 pounds of Italian
white winter truffles from Alba
disappeared from the restaurant.
At their current
market price,
that's approximately
$425,000.
For mushrooms?
[scoffs] Excuse my rather
unrefined associate.
It's okay.
I had the same reaction
when the policy crossed my desk.
As you can imagine,
my bosses are not too keen
on having to cover
such a sizable loss.
Which is where we come in.
MAGNUM:
You want us
to find the mushrooms.
If you can,
we'll give you
a generous finder's fee.
Ten percent of the total value.
42 grand? We've never made
that kind of money before.
And you wanted to cancel.
Need I remind you,
I was the one who came up
with the idea
of courting insurance companies
for their business.
If you saying, "Uh, we need to,
uh, hit up some fat cats
to make a quick buck,"
is your definition of an idea,
then-then, yes,
it belongs entirely to you.
42 grand, man,
that is some serious stacks.
Hear that, Hiapo?
We're gonna be rich, buddy.
Well, whilst I would love
to share in your enthusiasm,
there is one small problem.
What's that?
Well, white truffles go bad
in a few days.
If we don't find them soon,
there will be no
"serious stacks" to talk of.
♪
Hi.
Oh, what the hell is this?
[both shushing]
We just got him down.
Don't tell me you stole this
baby from a homeless person.
Gordie, can you please use
your inside voice?
Seriously?
[whispers]: We're trying
to find the baby's mother.
It's a long story.
Child Protective Services
is on the second floor.
Well, no, that's actually
not why we're here.
No, we need to see
a police report.
You know this isn't a library
where you can just
check stuff out, right?
No, no. We're working
the Angelino's burglary case.
You mean HPD's working the case.
We've actually been retained
by the insurance company.
[Hiapo crying]
[Magnum sighs]
You happy? You woke him up.
[sighs]
He's hungry.
How do you know?
Because I'm a father.
MAGNUM:
There you go.
Look, I'll get you the file.
Okay? Just get that baby
some food,
then over to CPS, all right?
All right?
Don't mind Uncle Gordie.
He's just a little grumpy.
MAGNUM:
Wow, he really pounded
that thing.
[farts]
Oh. Seriously?
Didn't you just go?
That was an hour ago.
Is that normal?
Why are you asking me?
Here you are.
You know,
whatever's the opposite
of maternal instincts,
you were born with a ton of it.
For your information,
I am an expert
on children ages six to ten.
I find that really hard
to believe.
At 15, Mr. and Mrs. Belshire
employed me as a summer nanny,
thank you very much.
You were a babysitter?
Oh, my God, those poor kids
must have hated you.
Quite the opposite.
They relished the discipline
they did not get
from their parents.
I doubt it.
Excuse me?
Just saying, you're like...
Mary Poppins without the fun.
Will you stop dillydallying?
That child is turning ripe.
Well, if I'm gonna be working,
you should be working, too.
Not sitting there
enjoying me be tortured.
Anything in the report
that we can use?
I'm still reading.
Did Angelino's have
any security cameras?
They did have security cameras,
but they weren't working
prior to the burglary.
Convenient for the thieves.
Not really.
The restaurant had yet to get
back on its feet post-COVID,
so repairing the cameras
was a deferred cost.
Whoa. Oh, man.
Please do something with it.
You know, why does
it have to be me?
I-I could read just
as well as you can.
Debatable. Besides,
you're clearly very good at it.
Changing diapers?
At being a father.
Oh, okay.
This might be something.
Please, anything to distract me
from what's going on down here.
The truffles were only delivered
a few hours before the burglary,
so our thief had to have
prior knowledge.
Why is that?
Because Italian
white winter truffles
weren't on the menu
since Christmas.
So this could've been
an inside job.
[phone ringing]
WOMAN:
'Ewa Beach Women's Services.
KUMU:
I'm looking for
this young woman.
I know you can't really
see her face.
You know her, don't you?
I might.
Can you tell me her name?
Where I can find her?
What's this regarding?
Uh, it's a private matter.
I'm sorry, but we need
to safeguard the privacy
of the women
who seek assistance here.
I understand.
But this is important.
I swear I mean no harm.
Sorry. Unless you want to share
what this is about,
I can't help you.
Mahalo for your time.
Hey, Luana, this is Keala
from 'Ewa Beach
Women's Services facility.
A woman came by here looking
for you, but she didn't say why.
Call me back
when you can.
Okay, thanks. Bye.
Uh, I'm sorry
to bother you again.
I-I have to make
a phone call
and my phone just died.
Can I borrow yours?
Sure. Dial 9 first.
Mahalo.
[sighs]
Busy.
Mahalo.
Hey, Rick? It's Kumu.
This might be a long shot,
but I think I have a lead
on, uh, Hiapo's mother.
You think you could have one
of your friends at HPD
run a number for me?
As I told the police,
when I came here in the morning,
I found the front door open.
I came directly to the kitchen,
and they were gone.
Everything. The entire delivery.
Hey.
Would your baby
like some cheese?
Uh, no, thank you.
He-he just ate.
So, according to
the police report,
a padlock was cut off
this refrigerator.
Yes, ma'am.
Which means the thief
brought bolt cutters,
knowing what to expect.
What are you saying?HIGGINS:
Well, besides your employees,
who else knew about
the truffle delivery?
Only Mrs. Memminger,
the food distributor
that I buy the truffles from.
How well do you know
your employees?
Noi siamo una famiglia.
Each one of them is like family.
Wait, wait, wait,
are you implying
that one of them did this?
That's not possible.
Your employees had been
out of work for a while.
Uh, people tend
to act out of character
when they get desperate.
Mr. Ferragamo,
on the day you discovered
the truffles stolen,
did any of your employees
fail to turn up for work?
One of my waiters.
Jimmy Bowman, 22.
Graduate, Kukui High.
No record,
but his father did time,
and his two cousins,
frequent fliers.
Thanks. If you're thinking
about them as suspects,
I suggest you tread carefully.
They're dangerous guys.
Copy that.
Now, if you could just text me
Bowman's address in Pearl City,
it'd be much appreciated.
Okay.
Sorry about that, little buddy.
No fun today. Mommy and Daddy
are gonna get you
to a safe place
so we can solve this crime
and get that cash.
Could you please not say that?
Say what?
"Mommy and Daddy."
Okay, do you prefer
"Daddy and the overly strict
nanny"?
HIGGINS:
I prefer none of the above.
MAGNUM: Can we please not
fight in front of the kid?
♪
I don't know about this.
What if I drop him?
You're not gonna drop him.
Perhaps one of us should stay.
No, he'll be fine.
I'm also gonna need the keys
to your Porsche.
Excuse me?
I'm not taking
this car seat out again.
And you have to have it
just in case.
Just in c-- Just in case?
Just in case of what?
Just in case of what?
I don't know, place catches
fire, you got to run.
If that happens,
I want to make sure
Hiapo's
in the car seat.
Now give me your car keys, okay?
You guys are gonna
get along just fine.
Enjoy.
Okay. Bye.
Uh...
So, what's up?
[engine revs]
Nice car, mister.
Thanks.
Can we sit in it?
How old are you?
Nine.I'll tell you what,
you guys keep an eye
on the car,
there's 20 bucks in it for you.
[chuckles]
Cute kids.
Anything happens to Rick's
Porsche or those kids,
it's on you.They'll behave.
How do you know that?
Did you hear what the older one
said when he walked up?
"Nice car"?
"Mister." Means there's
somebody at home
teaching him manners, right?
They're not gonna mess
with the car, trust me.
Two hours with a
baby and suddenly
he's an expert
on child-rearing.
You said it yourself,
I would make a good father.
Or were you messing with me?
Got the job done, didn't it?
Whatever. Unlike you,
I have
excellent parental instincts.
I think Roberto the
mouse would disagree.
What'd you say?
Nothing.
[car horn honking]
What are they doing?
And on this week's episode
of Father Knows Worst,
two youngsters destroy
a pricey German sports car.
Eh, come on, kids, knock it off!
[door creaks]
Jimmy Bowman?
["Stop the Rock"
by Apollo 440 playing]
♪ Stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock
♪ Stop the rock
[grunts]
♪ Stop the rock
[grunts]
♪ Stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock
♪ Can't stop the rock
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock, can't
stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop the rock ♪
♪ You can't stop
[grunting]
[car horns honking,
tires screeching]
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba,
ba-ba-ba, ba, ba... ♪
Hey, watch it!
Get out of here.Sorry.
♪ Shape the rock
like Henry Moore ♪
♪ Aphrodite at the water hole
Hey, watch it!
♪ Shape the rock...
Yo, it's me-- I got trouble!
Coming your way!
♪ The water hole, come on
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop
♪ Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
♪ You can't stop ♪
Ba, ba, ba-ba-ba...
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock
♪ You can't stop the rock,
can't stop
♪ The rock, you can't stop
the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop the rock ♪
♪ Can't stop the rock,
you can't stop. ♪
You're trespassing.
[both panting]
We don't want... we
don't want any trouble.
Some neighborhood watch group
you've got here.
We're Jimmy's cousins.
Why you chasing him?
Private...
investigators.
We're looking
into a burglary
that happened at the restaurant
that Jimmy worked at.
He don't know
nothing about it.
You don't work
for Big Tuna?
No, we absolutely do not.
Who's Big Tuna?
Don't say anything.
Big Tuna said he'd cut me in
on the score if I told him
when Angelino's
got a truffle order.
What'd I just say?
Well, Big T screwed me.
Why should I protect him?
'Cause I said so.
Just let him talk, please.
I'd be shutting up, too,
if I was you.
Please, gentlemen.
We are what you'd
like to call, uh,
good Samaritans with a very...
poor long-term memory.
And, uh...
also...
helping us could be
very, well, lucrative.
And I can guarantee
discretion.
Discretion means we'll
keep our mouths shut.
I know what it means,
jackass.
Look, you were saying, uh,
your associate
Big Tuna said he would
cut you in on the proceeds
of these stolen truffles, yes?
Yeah, but then he reneged.
Said he'd send over
some leg breakers
if I kept asking
for my cut.
You thought we were
the leg breakers?
I guess your family
wasn't gonna step in?
Kid's got to learn
by his mistakes.
His father would've wanted that.
Sound advice.
Now, gentlemen,
we'd very much
like to leave,
if you don't mind.
If you could point us
in the direction of this
Big Tuna chap,
we'd be very much appreciative.
As long as you keep
Jimmy's name out of it.
MAGNUM:
Hey.
Absolutely.
You have our word.
I'll take
your driver's license instead.
Why?
'Cause I'm gonna write down
your addresses.
And if the cops come
for my cousin here,
you two are gonna be dead.
What happened to letting
Jimmy learn from his mistakes?
That wouldn't be
Jimmy's mistake.
It would be yours.
I'm here.
This better be a real emergency.
The last time you texted me
"Get down here,
Defcon 2,"
you needed somebody to film you
doing the handstand challenge.
Well, this is
a legit emergency, my man.
Why, what's going on?
The liquor commission is
on its way down.
Yeah, so?
So I'm thinking
a baby behind the bar
is a little bit
of a code violation.
Oh, whose baby is that?
Nobody knows.
Some lady dropped him off
at Robin's Nest,
hit the doorbell and ran.
What are the chances
it's Magnum's?
I'd say three to one.
Anyway, Higgins and Thomas
are off on a case
and Kumu is busy, so
I've been babysitting this guy,
but now I need you to tag in.
Yeah, all right.
All right, all right,
buddy, come on.
Hiapo, meet TC.
TC,
meet Hiapo.
Yeah, give me a fist bump,
give me a fist bump.
Give me a fist bump-- boom!
[laughs]
[sniffs]
[Hiapo cooing]
You take that baby to CPS yet?
Gordie, what happened to picking
up the phone and saying aloha?
So you didn't?
That's not why we called.
All right, I'm hanging up now.
No, no, no, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
No more favors until you get
that baby into the system.
Gordon, we have a very good lead
as to who the baby's mother is.
We feel like it is
in the baby's best interest
to find her
before we add any more trauma
to her life.
She abandoned her child.
You can't force her
to take him back.
No, but we can hear
her side of the story.
And figure out if foster care is
what she thinks is
truly best for her son.
Ah, come on, you're
a father, Gordie.
You should, you should
understand this.
All right.
What'd you call me for?
You ever hear of a
guy named Big Tuna?
Why do you ask?
He's a person
of interest in our case.
We stopped by his
house earlier today,
no one was there.
You have any idea
where we might find him?
Yeah.
I know exactly
where you can find him.
That's a lot of holes.
Six .38-caliber GSWs
to be exact.
Five to the
chest region.
And one to the forehead
penetrating the frontal
and parietal lobes.
Coup de grâce.
Somebody didn't want
Big Tuna getting up.
HIGGINS:
Thank you, Noelani.
You know, for a guy
named Big Tuna,
he wasn't very large.
He did have a peculiar diet,
I can tell you that much.
How so?
I found something odd in
the contents of his stomach.
A fungus known as
Choiromyces maeandriformis.
Maybe he sampled some
of what he stole.
$10,000 a pound,
I'd probably do the same thing.
What are you talking about?
We believe the deceased
might have stolen
a very expensive delivery
of white winter truffles.
Oh, well, this
wasn't that.
In fact,
from a culinary point of view
this fungus is known
as a fake truffle.
One burglary,
one murder.
All for nothing.
Well, perhaps
the killer didn't know
that the truffles
were worthless.
What about Ms. Memminger?
The woman who sold them
to Angelo?
Yeah, maybe she had reason
to believe somebody
would find out
they were fake.
[phone ringing]
TC, how's the baby?
Yo, this boy is having a full-on
meltdown-- what should I do?
Well, he probably needs to be
fed, burped or changed.
Yeah, no kidding.
I already did all that.
And he's still
screaming like a banshee.
Look, man, I got clients coming
that want to talk
about a wedding package.
I need help here.
Uh...
Uh, TC, put us on video.
And turn the camera on him,
all right?
Okay, hold on.
All right.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
Hello, pumpkin.
Oh!
Someone's having
a bit of a moment,
aren't they? Ooh.
It's okay.
Poor thing.
Uh...
♪ The Grand Old Duke of York
♪ He had 10,000 men
♪ He walked them up
to the top of the hill ♪
♪ And he walked them
down again ♪
♪ And when they were up
♪ They were up,
and when they were down ♪
♪ They were down,
and when they were only ♪
♪ Halfway up,
they were neither up nor down. ♪
Oh, come on.
My voice isn't that bad.
[gasps]
Come on.
Okay, uh, uh...
Where's the baby? There he is!
Oh, where's the baby?
There he is.
Oh!
Where's the baby?
There he is!
There he is, okay.
You did it, Higgy baby.
[laughs]:
Oh!
Okay, well, I'd, uh,
I'd just try
and put him down now, yeah?
Roger that.
What?
Nothing.
[indistinct chatter]
Luana?
Yes?
My name is Teuila.
Can we talk for a few minutes?
About?
I came over from Maui
about a year ago to work.
Wanted to save up for school.
Anyway,
I started seeing this guy.
It was s-sort
of casual.
When I told him, he said
there was no way it was his.
Said I was trying
to trap him or something.
Why did you leave
your baby at Robin's Nest?
I live a few miles from there.
I'd always see the gates.
Thought the people who lived
there must have money
and could give Hiapo
a better life than I ever could.
I saw them a couple times.
Coming or going
in that red Ferrari.
Thomas and Juliet.
They looked like
a nice couple.
Like two people who really cared
about each other.
[chuckles]
What?
They're not a couple.
Although I do think
they care deeply for each other,
when they're not bickering.
If they're not together,
what are they, then?
Business partners.
Well,
he also works for her.
Uh, it's complicated.
Well, I thought
they were a couple.
And I was desperate.
If I gave Hiapo to foster care,
they would just move him around.
I didn't...
I didn't know what else to do.
I thought this was
the best thing for him.
You gonna call the cops on me?
No.
I don't think anyone needs
to know about this.
But my friends can't keep him.
I can't raise him on my own.
I can barely take care
of myself.
What about your parents?
They can't help?
I'm too afraid to tell them.
We don't exactly have
the best relationship.
[sighs]
You think
they'll be disappointed.
I know they will be.
Luana.
Do you want to keep your baby,
be his mother?
[voice breaks]:
Of course I do.
Then you have to grow up.
[scoffs]
You can't just embrace
adulthood in some ways
and not in others.
Oh, I know
it's going to be painful,
but you have to at least try.
For Hiapo.
[sighs]
Can I help you?
Helen Memminger?
Detective Magnum, HPD.
This is my partner
Detective Higgins.
Can I see your badge?
You can see the inside
of my squad car.
[cocks hammer]
I don't think so.
Okay. All right,
we're not cops.
We're private investigators.
Oh, in that case, you can leave.
Let me ask you a question--
what is that, a .38?
We're done talking.
HIGGINS: Listen, you recently sold
nearly half a million dollars'
worth of white winter truffles
to Angelo Ferragamo.
We suspect you knew
those truffles were fake.
Those truffles were then stolen
by a man who is now dead.
Meanwhile,
the truffles are missing,
which leads us
to believe
he was killed for them.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Did you kill him
to keep it a secret?
Do I look that dumb to you?
Then tell us who
else on this island
would be interested
in those truffles.
You want me
to help you find a killer?
You help us,we won't turn you in
for ripping people off.
That's a ballsy statement seeing
as I'm the one holding the gun.
Not anymore.
I was gonna do that.
Well, I got tired of waiting.
Now, tell us who else
you sell your fake truffles to.
After COVID, no one's got
the cash to buy truffles.
Angelo's my only customer.
Angelo couldn't even afford
to fix the security cameras.
How did he pay for truffles?
Mrs. Memminger,
did Mr. Ferragamo know
the truffles he was buying
were fake?
Absolutely.
So Angelo knew that if
anyone else found out
the truffles were fake,
he wouldn't get the
insurance money.
So he killed Big Tuna
to keep it a secret.
And now I'm gonna have
to kill you.
So, those are
the truffles?
Shut up and walk.
Guess you found them
at Big Tuna's place,
and now you're bringing
them here to hide.
You do realize
that if you kill us,
the insurance company are going
to have even more questions.
Questions they'll
never get answers to.
[gunshot][grunts]
HIGGINS:
Uh, Magnum.
[gunshot]
Drop the truffles.
[Angelo groaning]
You know how ridiculous
that sounds?
Evidence is evidence.
[gasping]
[siren blares]
[siren whooping]
Angelo told us
everything.
Why would he do that?
Well, we may have taken our time
calling the ambulance.
Maybe you should just tell me
the details of the crime.
When Big Tuna stole the truffles
from Angelo
and realized they were fake,
he blackmailed Angelo.
For what?
Half the insurance claim,
or he'd reveal the scam.
So Angelo killed him.
So these are worthless?
Yeah. Which means
the insurance company's
no longer obliged to give us
ten percent of the claim.
We'll be lucky to get our
day rate plus expenses.
Maybe we could hide
some diapers in the bill.
Well, you did the
public a service
by getting a killer
off the street.
That should be payment enough.
Yeah, but the cash
would have been a nice bonus.
You're welcome.
So, how was babysitting?
You take that little
fella down to the beach,
pick up some babes?
Hmm, that's something
you would do.
I do not need a baby
to help me meet women.
My game is just fine.
Okay.
There he is.
Hey, little guy.
Missed you.
No apparent wear and tear.
Well done.
[chuckles]
You know what? I got some
Okinawan sweet potatoes
in the back-- I'll puree
'em, send 'em out.
Thanks, brother.
I got to tap out.
See you later,
little guy.
Thanks, TC.
TC:
All right.
[gasps]
What a cutie.
Congratulations.
Oh, no,
he's not...Ah, thank you.
He is quite adorable, I know.
[whispers]:
Bye.
Okay, say goodbye.
Bye.
[laughs]
Say goodbye.
[laughs]
You've really enjoyed
spending this time with
Hiapo, haven't you?
It's been fun.
Ever thought
about having one of these?
No, not really.
Well, I mean...
yeah, Richard and I would
talk about it, but...
we wanted to be married
for a few years first.
I know Ethan
wants a couple.
How about you?
Yeah, I thought
about it quite a bit
when I was, uh...
being held captive.
Coming home,
having a couple mini-me's.
I think it helped
to have something
to look forward to, you know?
Mm.
Something to keep me going.
Well, for what it's worth,
I think you'd be
really good at it.
[chuckles]
I don't think
you'd be so bad yourself.
Appreciate that, but...
well, I don't know
that I'm built for it.
Not everyone should be
a parent, you know.
Come on,
you would love it.
Yes, she would. Huh?
It's just...
the world is a very
strange place right now.
I just think we
need to fix it
before we bring any more
life into it, you know?
[takes deep breath]
Can't leave it for the next
generation to clear up.
Fair enough.
♪
MAGNUM:
Luana just pulled
through the gate.
HIGGINS:
I'll be up in a minute.
You got him.
Catch and release this time.
So, where's he gonna go?
Well, this one...
isn't going anywhere.
Roberto the second,
meet your new owner...
Thomas Magnum.
[chuckling]
I believe he's a tan.
Well, he's certainly cute.
[laughs]
Hello.[cooing]
Oh.
Thank you.
Just, uh, one
more thing.
He stays in the
guesthouse.
You sure?
I mean, we could share him,
raise him together.
I'll give him to you
on the weekends, you know.
No, no, no.
I think we've done
quite enough co-parenting,
thank you.
[soft chittering]
Okay, we better go up.
This one's mother
is waiting for him.
[chuckles]He kind of
looks like you.
Yeah, we both like wine.
Wow, somebody was hungry.
MAGNUM:
I found it.
Hiapo's gonna love this.
[laughs]
Look at that, buddy--
a rubber chicken!
[crying]
Oh.
Come on,
who doesn't love
a rubber chicken?
It's okay. Shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Here.
Let me try.
[crying continues]
Ooh, shush,
shush, shush.
♪ Round and round the garden,
like a teddy bear ♪
♪ One step, two step
♪ Tickle you
under there! ♪
[laughter]
Yeah.
[stops crying]
Wow.
You'd be a great mom,
Ms. Higgins.
Slow down.
I already have my hands full
looking after one baby.
Come on, don't talk
about Kumu like that.
I'm pretty sure she
was talking about you, buddy.
[phone dings][chuckles]
I figured that out.
All right, uh, Kumu just texted:
your parents are here.
She's bringing them over now.
LUANA:
Oh.
Okay.
Yeah.
Here you go.
Right.
There she is.
♪ We're gonna catch our dreams
It's gonna be okay, kid.
TC's right.
You guys have
friends here.
Regardless
of what happens...
we'd like to stay in your life,
if that's possible.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...♪
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me
Yeah.
Yeah, we would love that.
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...♪
♪ We're going on a journey
♪ You and me.